She asked me for my opinion...

[HintOfMint]

A friend of mine--not a super close friend, but more than an acquaintance--asked me what I thought of her hair straight. She is naturally a solid curly 3C and she went to the salon for a blowout. The trouble is... she looks fantastic with straight hair. She knows how to take care of curly hair and so it's not a contrast between poorly taken care of curly hair, and sleek straight hair. Her hair is really nice curly, but she looks so good with straight hair! She asked me (over facebook) what I thought and I told her that she looked quite nice. She then asked me which look I preferred, curly or straight.

I don't know how to respond. I feel like it is hurtful to say that her natural hair isn't the best look for her. I know that curly girls everywhere have to deal with crap like, "oh you'd look so good if you straightened it!" She's had to deal with it too.

I would never give an unwanted opinion, but she asked me! I guess I could say that I like it both ways, but it's not really true and she knows it's not. She loves it straight.
Furthermore, I feel like a hypocrite. I am all for encouraging people to embrace what they have naturally and strive to achieve their own individual best look within those confines. It is hard enough to feel beautiful when we're bombarded with messages that we are not enough by ourselves.

What do y'all think? What should I say?

[clichepithet]

A friend of mine (~snip~) asked me what I thought (~snip~)
What do y'all think? What should I say?


What you think.

[Jezerellica]

I would tell her the truth in the most diplomatic way possible. It's just how I am. Very, very carefully. At least it is not in person, so you can work it out ahead of time! :rolleyes:

[Hotrox]

Ohhh, I feel for you here.

I can give you the flip-side as a curly haired person who has often been told that it looks better straight. Tell her the truth, that you like it straight but maybe say something like that she she only need do it occasionally when she wants the 'wow' factor.

I wear it straight very occasionally and I love how people react to it, its like I can create a whole new personality for an evening.

If it was straight everyday people would stopping noticing it, I think it is just the change that people react too.

I'm not sure if that was really helpful, sorry :p

[jaine]

I would tell her that it looks beautiful both ways, and leave it at that. I like to tell the subset of the truth that intersects with being polite.

(even if it's not beautiful to you, it's still beautiful! So you wouldn't be lying.)

It's like a Venn diagram ...you want to tell the truth and you also want to be polite ...so just find the wording that does both.

[ericthegreat]

I like it both ways, but it's not really true and she knows it's not. She loves it straight.
Furthermore, I feel like a hypocrite. I am all for encouraging people to embrace what they have naturally and strive to achieve their own individual best look within those confines. It is hard enough to feel beautiful when we're bombarded with messages that we are not enough by ourselves.

What do y'all think? What should I say?

From your very description, this IS the truth. She looks great with both her naturally curls and with her hair straightened. It doesn't have to be an either/or answer, sometimes the answer really is both ways.

But, you can of course add that because as a friend, you care about the condition of her hair that it would be healthier if she kept her natural curls for a normal day, and only get it straightened when she has a really special event to go to.

[McFearless]

From your very description, this IS the truth. She looks great with both her naturally curls and with her hair straightened. It doesn't have to be an either/or answer, sometimes the answer really is both ways.

But, you can of course add that because as a friend, you care about the condition of her hair that it would be healthier if she kept her natural curls for a normal day, and only get it straightened when she has a really special event to go to.
That pretty much sums it up :)

[christine1989]

I would say "I can't decide. Its like trying to choose between cookies or ice cream." ;)

[Gabriel]

I agree with what others have said. It's perfectly fine to tell her you like it both ways because you do.

I especially like what someone suggested about letting her know you think straightening it for special events is a nice idea and a good time to change up her every day style so as not to encourage her to think about straightening it every day.

I was also thinking about curlies I know. ( I grew up around a majority of curly heads.)

Maybe, you think it looks amazing straight because it's a dramatic change and a novelty. I notice that reaction when the curlies I know straighten their hair too. Even if it doesn't look so hot on them, (which I would never say! That would be mean! Plus I love curly hair...) everyone else seems to go wild about the straight and sleekness of their hair, which I think is really just the contrast.

[FrannyG]

Well, the way I see it, her lovely 3C curls might not be so lovely with repeated straightenings after a while, whether she wears it curly or straight, so you have to factor that in with your advice.

While you might honestly prefer the way she looks with straight hair, don't forget that if she straightens too much, her hair may become irreparably damaged. If that should happen, it won't look good either way.

You yourself said she has really nice curly hair. Additionally she knows how to care for her curls. I'd give her a qualified "I like your curls, but you also look good with it straight occasionally".

[Dreams_in_Pink]

Tell her that straight hair looks better, but if she keeps straightening it every day, it will look worse and worse; both curly and straight this time :)

Maybe she can use huge rollers or hair wraps?

[podo]

Tell her the truth, that you like it straight but maybe say something like that she she only need do it occasionally when she wants the 'wow' factor.

I wear it straight very occasionally and I love how people react to it, its like I can create a whole new personality for an evening.

If it was straight everyday people would stopping noticing it, I think it is just the change that people react too.

This is exactly what I'd say. People often react to that "wow" factor - when my 1a hair becomes uh.. whatever super curled would be.. everyone goes "omg, you look awesome! you should get a perm!". So yeah.. I'm all for the occasional WOW but everyday WOW becomes "you should get a perm".