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Cupofmilk
October 14th, 2010, 10:43 AM
Yes someone said that to me this week.

My hair was a lot longer last december when I cut 18 inches off - I was probably around 42 inches long.
I know this lady also has long hair - and she was so pleased beacuse hers is now longer than mine. I could understand she was pleased hers had grown - we all are in this situation.... she then went on to say that I would never be able to catch her up now as I have such wavy hair and hers is straight...
Such an odd conversation. She did ask why I cut mine some months ago and I explained that I had a sick child and didn't quite intend to cut that muhc off and I was having toruble caring for it (all pre LHC).
She then said to me that she is never going to cut hers again blah blah blah. The silly thing is (and how can I say this without sounding vile myself) She does have very split ends and a lot of damage. I would like to be able to share what I have learnt on here about how to protect your hair, updos, oiling etc etc - things that might help but she said I should be coming to her for advice on my hair as hers is the longest.

I may be alone here but I am not for growith at the expense of condition. I would rather S&D/microtrim and loose a bit to have it looking better. And again perhaps I am alone on this but give me healthy waist hair anyday over thin straggling hip length hair.

Aredhel77
October 14th, 2010, 10:48 AM
Since when was it a competition? :eyebrows: LOL. What a funny thing for that lady to say...hair insecurity or what?

I agree with you, doesn't matter how long the journey takes, a healthy head of hair is far more attractive than a head of frizz & splits, even if it is longer than yours :)

Theobroma
October 14th, 2010, 11:00 AM
Wow, I thought people outgrew that kind of puerile one-upmanship before they hit their teens. What a weird thing for an adult to even care about, let alone put into words!

I'd just forget it if I were you. If her priority is length over condition, there's probably nothing you could say that she wants to hear anyway. :shrug:

Calaelen
October 14th, 2010, 11:09 AM
I have a feeling you will catch up to her. Hair can only go so long with no trimming before it starts to self trim with pretty scraggly looking results. That is why some people mistakenly think they've hit terminal length when they really haven't, the hair is just breaking off.

It sounds like her hair may be doing this already, and though your hair is shorter now, with proper care, you will continue to get accurate length growth, while hers will likely break off.

I am rather surprised at how she handled that conversation, as it sounds so piddly and childish. The way I see it, you could do one of two things; just forget about it, as it was such a weird encounter. Then watch your hair over time grow to once again be longer than hers, and so much more healthy looking, or you could direct her to this site, and down the road have her singing your praises for leading her here to learn how to take care of her hair, and help grow it as beautiful as it can be.

It all depends on how you really feel about it.

ericthegreat
October 14th, 2010, 11:14 AM
What a sad, immature woman. Regardless of however long her hair is, she is clearly an insecure person. Even if her hair happens to be longer than yours Cupofmilk, that still doesn't give her the right to lord it over you as if it makes her "better" than you.

little_cherry
October 14th, 2010, 11:34 AM
She said that? It sounds like a very childish thing to say. LOL.

Show her some pictures online of the ladies with floor length hair... :eyebrows:

I never knew growing hair was such a competition! Two words: Hair Karma. :D

TinaDenali
October 14th, 2010, 11:49 AM
Wow, looks like she needs to get a life. If the only way she can make herself feel better is to put you down, then she's got some maturity issues and needs to reevaluate herself!

She's probably get so much more enjoyment out of your interactions if she'd been kind hearted towards you ("I noticed that you'd cut your hair last year- it sure has grown since then! I'm enjoying having long hair, too! What kind of product do you use?" ect), I think she would have felt even better than she things she feels now. You two could have been long hair buddies!

I guess she doesn't know what she's missing. She'll be all raggity and velcro ends soon enough and your lovely hair will pass her by :D

Hugs to you!

Harriet
October 14th, 2010, 11:58 AM
What a strange thing to say!!! I can understand her maybe thinking it, but to say it to you? Thats just weird.
I shouls think that your wavy healthy hair is much more attractive than her damaged hair!

weatherwax
October 14th, 2010, 12:00 PM
Uh . . .

Wow.

What an impossible conversation. Don't feel like comparing your hair to hers is vile. She introduced the idea into your mind--it's like being told not to think of a hippopotamus. After that, you can't help it. The fact that you didn't SAY it to her, well, that says a lot about your good sense, tact, and self-restraint. Forget about your hair--which is lovely, by the way--your character is miles deeper.

Heartwillfollow
October 14th, 2010, 12:00 PM
Big hugs to you... :) :)

I can relate off topic of being stunned that it was some sort of competition and you didn't know it... My neighbor after moving here called me I kept getting call waitting signal, I was on the phone with an insurance claims officer and wasn't answering her call. But the neighbor kept calling and callling and calling I got the impression it was some sort of emergency something happen to her kids or she was hurt and needed help... So I got off the phone with the insurance guy.. And when I called her back all she wanted to say was she was on her way to get some sort of mixed breed draft horse and it was going to be bigger them my clydes.. (what the crazy) lol ,, I got the clydes because of their temperment not to have the biggest horses in the area... geesh...

It's an awkward feeling to realize someone is envy of you to the point they looking for a way to gloat when they think now they better over something so stupid...

RadiantNeedle
October 14th, 2010, 12:10 PM
It's an awkward feeling to realize someone is envy of you to the point they looking for a way to gloat when they think now they better over something so stupid...

This pretty much sums it up!

Sooze
October 14th, 2010, 12:10 PM
CupoMilk - I think Calaelen summed it up beautifully - piddly and childish!

It was in a way a back-handed compliment s she clearly feels jealous of you in more ways than one. Stupid really, as she's never walked in your shoes. You have to have pity for people like that - it's almost an illness.

Personally, I always itch to take a pair of scissors to hair that is split and straggly. Naughty of me, I know, but it just cries out for attention - the wrong sort of attention! :D

I hope that your child is now fully well, and am so pleased you can rise above this kind of thoughtless remark from an immature individual. (hug)

linda g
October 14th, 2010, 12:16 PM
Can't believe she said that *out loud*. I am sure those type of thoughts are more common than we'd like to admit ;) But you're supposed to keep it as part of your internal dialogue!

enfys
October 14th, 2010, 12:49 PM
See she could have said she was thrilled to finally have longer hair than you in a light hearted way and left it at that. She couldn't. She had to make herself look really childish.

I hope you don't feel bad about your hair because of what she said and I wouldn't bother trying to give her advice on haircare since she already knows so much (!)

ravenreed
October 14th, 2010, 01:05 PM
Wow, my friend who was about my length cut quite a bit of hers off and I was a little sad! No one to race with anymore. She sounds petty and I would keep my haircare tips to myself.

ETA: Even though I was a little sad to see my friend's shorter hair, I hope I kept that disappointment to myself. She said she had scraggly ends and I certainly understand why she wanted a nice trim. I like nice ends and just cut off about an inch to get them.

JulietCapulet
October 14th, 2010, 01:11 PM
Lol, that woman needs to get a life. I'm sorry you had to listen to such bunk. I would just ignore her.

FrannyG
October 14th, 2010, 01:11 PM
Well, it's an odd thing that she actually said this out loud. It's very childish.

However, I think that for you, growing quality hair is more important than who has the longest hair right now. Your hair will be her length before you know it, and it will be in much better shape. But you know that.

Chances are that if she doesn't learn to take better care of her hair, hers will start breaking off and she won't be gloating anymore.

As for sharing hair care tips with her, I don't suggest it unless she asks. I learned quickly after joining LHC that people like to do things their own way, and only want advice if they ask for it.

Happy growing! :blossom:

Chestershire
October 14th, 2010, 01:12 PM
funny, a fried of mine said the same thing to me too today. But her hair is horribly damaged from all the flat ironing, so I told her that I will grow longer, faster and healthier hair. She said 'yeah, that's probably true' ;p

Karala
October 14th, 2010, 01:19 PM
I may be alone here but I am not for growith at the expense of condition. I would rather S&D/microtrim and loose a bit to have it looking better. And again perhaps I am alone on this but give me healthy waist hair anyday over thin straggling hip length hair.

You are so right, and so not alone in thinking this way ^^

freckles
October 14th, 2010, 01:21 PM
Can't believe she said that *out loud*. I am sure those type of thoughts are more common than we'd like to admit ;) But you're supposed to keep it as part of your internal dialogue!

:lol: That's what I was thinking!

It sounds like she was really quite rude but probably unthinkingly, not with malicious intent :) Happy growing!

pepperminttea
October 14th, 2010, 01:27 PM
Goodness, how utterly juvenile of her. You're not alone; I'd rather have healthy waist length than damaged hip length. Give it a few years; when half of her length has broken off and yours is healthy goal length, perhaps then she'll come to you for advice.

Karala
October 14th, 2010, 01:42 PM
I may be alone here but I am not for growith at the expense of condition. I would rather S&D/microtrim and loose a bit to have it looking better. And again perhaps I am alone on this but give me healthy waist hair anyday over thin straggling hip length hair.

You are so right, and so not alone in thinking this way ^^

angelfell
October 14th, 2010, 01:48 PM
Yeah, let her keep growing and not taking care of it.. and maybe soon, beyond her will, hers WILL be shorter than yours.. from breakage :p. Karma.

BrightEyes7
October 14th, 2010, 02:17 PM
I had a similar experience. I had a friend who had hair slightly longer than mine, she had TBL and I was still at waist (but she was a lot shorter than me so we probably had the same inches). Well she always acted like I didn't know anything about having long hair..... And one day she asked me to french braid her hair. As I was doing this I noticed how thin her hair was from breakage. And when I got to the ends... straw!!! I tried to nudge her here and give advice but she didn't take it.

Now my hair is a lot longer than hers and a lot healthier. She had to cut a lot off and it still doesn't look healthy.

I'd just forget about her and her petty comments. One day that karma will come back to bite her where the sun don't shine!

Jenn of Pence
October 14th, 2010, 02:31 PM
Can't believe she said that *out loud*. I am sure those type of thoughts are more common than we'd like to admit ;) But you're supposed to keep it as part of your internal dialogue!

Seriously, who of us doesn't have one little part of ourselves that likes being "the longest hair in the room?" ;) BUT most of us who might enjoy that thought once in a while don't actually have a haughty attitude about our hair (or we shouldn't, and I hope I never do!). So yes, saying things like this aloud (particularly with a haughty attitude behind it) isn't very tactful. I don't know exactly her attitude or her best intentions, so I don't want to judge, but it at least sounded off to me.

Unofficial_Rose
October 14th, 2010, 02:41 PM
Can't believe she said that *out loud*. I am sure those type of thoughts are more common than we'd like to admit ;) But you're supposed to keep it as part of your internal dialogue!

I have to admit, even with hair at 'Can I call this shoulder-length?', if I see someone my age with a really unflattering short cut, I find myself thinking 'Thank God I do not have that haircut'. Having said that, I would never even think this about a friend or someone I know, let alone say it. Would never say anything so rude to anyone, come to think of it. :confused:

You can be pleased that you have quality over her quantity. ;)

Amraann
October 14th, 2010, 02:43 PM
Yes someone said that to me this week.

My hair was a lot longer last december when I cut 18 inches off - I was probably around 42 inches long.
I know this lady also has long hair - and she was so pleased beacuse hers is now longer than mine. I could understand she was pleased hers had grown - we all are in this situation.... she then went on to say that I would never be able to catch her up now as I have such wavy hair and hers is straight...
Such an odd conversation. She did ask why I cut mine some months ago and I explained that I had a sick child and didn't quite intend to cut that muhc off and I was having toruble caring for it (all pre LHC).
She then said to me that she is never going to cut hers again blah blah blah. The silly thing is (and how can I say this without sounding vile myself) She does have very split ends and a lot of damage. I would like to be able to share what I have learnt on here about how to protect your hair, updos, oiling etc etc - things that might help but she said I should be coming to her for advice on my hair as hers is the longest.

I may be alone here but I am not for growith at the expense of condition. I would rather S&D/microtrim and loose a bit to have it looking better. And again perhaps I am alone on this but give me healthy waist hair anyday over thin straggling hip length hair.

Just an odd way for an adult to behave.
Maybe she just came across wrong?

Like she was excited she had longer hair because she so admired yours? But did not express that well?
Then again she said you should go to her for advice because her hair is now longer??
Very weird since she is well aware that you obviously know how to grow long healthy hair.

CaityBear
October 14th, 2010, 02:46 PM
That's pretty funny. I agree that it doesn't really matter how long your hair is if it's in crappy shape. I'd rather have healthier hair.

When I first met my DBF's cousins I had just started growing my hair out. Two of the girls (one a year older than me and one was 8) both had hair down to their butts. Mine was only waist or so and I kind of set a goal to have my hair that length then longer. Now mine is longer, but I don't feel like I won some sort of competition. It was just a way to set a goal for myself.

adiapalic
October 14th, 2010, 02:57 PM
I know people with this sense of competition. It mostly involves who has the newest most expensive gear... be it a vehicle, TV, computer, camera, etc.

I usually laugh at them, because they'll never be satisfied. Something else will always come out that's newer, shinier, and more expensive. They relish in the idea of outshining someone any way they can, and they think swiping their credit card is the key to that happiness. Sadly, they are swimming in debt because of it.

This lady must have insecurities. I must add though... just because you suddenly cut yours didn't make her level of expertise suddenly skyrocket past yours. If she's correlating length with expertise, and your hair was actually longer than hers at some point... does she think that knowledge suddenly slips out your head the moment your hair is sheared? I found that logic hilarious. :o

sibiryachka
October 14th, 2010, 03:10 PM
I am really pleased that your manners are better than hers.

LouLaLa
October 14th, 2010, 03:26 PM
What a sad, immature woman. Regardless of however long her hair is, she is clearly an insecure person. Even if her hair happens to be longer than yours Cupofmilk, that still doesn't give her the right to lord it over you as if it makes her "better" than you.


Id write something myself but this sums it up to a tee.

Cupofmilk
October 14th, 2010, 03:53 PM
Thank you all.
I just am a bit perplexed. I think it might be a backhanded compliment in some ways. I would also agree there is nothing wrong with wanting to be the longest hair in a room but as you have all said - internal dialogue !!

triumphator!
October 14th, 2010, 04:20 PM
She's rude, ignore her.

30isthenewblack
October 14th, 2010, 04:30 PM
I agree with all these comments. She has a competitive nature and is very insecure. I'd rather have healthy hair over longer hair. I prefer to be the tortoise rather than the hare when it comes to growing hair!

Drarra
October 14th, 2010, 04:38 PM
I agree with all these comments. She has a competitive nature and is very insecure. I'd rather have healthy hair over longer hair. I prefer to be the tortoise rather than the hare when it comes to growing hair!

I completely agree with this! It seems so strange that she said this out loud to you.

JenniferNoel
October 14th, 2010, 05:17 PM
Some people just have a competitive nature, that doesn't make them bad people, not everyone can control/think about what they say as well as others. She's one of those people who just blurts out her train of thought.
I too prefer health over length, why else would I have trimmed so dramatically this year, right? :eyebrows:
And don't you worry, her hair will all start to break before she can get it much longer, and you probably will end up passing her up. Trust me, I've been in similar situations.

cmnt831
October 14th, 2010, 05:24 PM
That is just weird.... Although, I probably would have absentmindedly blurted something to the effect of , "At least mine's still thicker than yours even if it's not as long anymore...."

Don't let it get to you. You have gorgeous hair. :flower:

Angeletti
October 14th, 2010, 05:33 PM
How annoying... I wouldn't give her any tips if it was me, she can figure it out on her own if she's going to treat you like that.

moonkitty
October 14th, 2010, 05:43 PM
What an awful thing to say to someone! I have major hair jelousy issues and know how hurtful something like that could be. It's one thing to THINK something like that but it's a whole other thing to SAY it! Some people. At least yours LOOKS better! :poot:

McFearless
October 14th, 2010, 06:15 PM
That chick is nuts, don't let it get you down. It seems like a backhanded compliment to me. I think she admired your hair and now she feels special because its longer than yours. People say crazy things.