Growing long hair, but not just to cut it off!

[kschr2004]

Rant -

I just spent 2 hours on Facebook with an acquaintance (who used to own a styling salon) explaining to him that I would not look good with short hair and that I wouldn't like the maintenance of it either. He wants me to grow my hair really long so that he can then cut it really short, like pixie short.

Why is it that some stylists are so adamant about cutting your hair short, even when you tell them all the reasons why it wouldn't work for you? (Caveat: I did have really short hair at one time in my life. Loved it at the time, hated the maintenance and the growing out process.)

He seemed to think that me letting him cut my hair really short would free me, and be some sort of transformative process for me. I couldn't convince him that it would just not be 'me', and that I am perfectly happy now with my hair long. I already like myself, just the way that I am.

- End Rant.

Kimberly

[Honestwitness]

When I tell people the reason I'm growing my hair long is for spiritual reasons, they never argue with me and try to get me to cut it. If I think they can be trusted with more detail, I will say that I have something specific that I have been praying about for a long time and growing my hair long is a kind of demonstration that I don't intend to give up on this particular prayer request until I get an answer. So far, that has worked really well to get people to keep their ideas about my hair to themselves.

[desertgirl]

I like your reason for growing your hair out Honestwitness. I hope your prayers are answered! (though, I don't know if I want to see you cut your hair, it's beautiful!)

I think reasons that people can't argue with are helpful in dealing with the 'why don't you cut it' question.

[Carolyn]

I would have ended that conversation in 2 minutes, not 2 hours. Tell him no means no and you like it long and that's the end of it. He can't be much of a friend if he harassed you for 2 hours. Tell him to find someone else. He sounds like one of those haircutting freaks.

[kschr2004]

I would have ended that conversation in 2 minutes, not 2 hours. Tell him no means no and you like it long and that's the end of it. He can't be much of a friend if he harassed you for 2 hours. Tell him to find someone else. He sounds like one of those haircutting freaks.

Yep, I will say I was beginning to think that after a lot of what he said tonight.

Since he was someone who I initially met via work (he came in via a consulting gig previously to give us some training), and I was trying to get some work advice from him, I was trying not to burn bridges. But by the end of the conversation tonight, I was about ready to end even the work relationship with him!

[desertgirl]

That's frustrating Kimberly! It sounds like this particular acquaintance really likes the act of cutting hair...

I have a sister who has repeatedly grown her hair to bsl and then chopped it off to give to Locks of Love. Since I started growing my hair out, that has been the question my family has asked me. I think when they see me at thanksgiving that's the question I'm going to hear the most... I might just have to wear it up all weekend!

btw I loved when my hair reached the top of my tank top. It was a great feeling! woohoo! And your hair looks beautiful and healthy

[kschr2004]

Desertgirl,

Thanks! It's not as healthy as I would like it to be, since some of it still has highlights that have been covered up with color. But I try not to do too much heat styling and I use deep conditioner on it pretty often, so that helps.

Yes, it did strike me that he really likes the act of cutting hair. Which is funny, because he was also saying he was a supporter of really long hair, and that he rarely advised women to go really short with their styles. That, I think, is a bit of a contradiction given the way that he was talking.

Oh, well - at least ranting on here helped me calm down. :-) Thanks, everyone!

[christine1989]

I sort of understand where he is coming from; I used to grow my hair out just to cut it as short as possible again. The major, drastic change was really fun for me. I loved how it felt going from long hair to super short, lightweight hair not to mention all of the compliments I got from friends. I have come to the same realization that you have though- long hair is just eaiser to maintain and looks better on me. I think stylists (like so many people) have been drawn in to the stereotype that really long hair is "too long" and "unkempt looking". Also they are really up to date on the latest cuts and think that it benefits everyone to keep up on "the latest style" no matter how trendy and impracticle.

[invisiblebabe]

Pixies don't work on a lot of women, simply because of face shape, skin, or facial features. IMO, in order to pull off a pixie, you need 1) clear skin, 2) a small face, and 3) delicate facial features. Otherwise, you will probably look silly with one.

[pennylane]

I would have ended that conversation in 2 minutes, not 2 hours. Tell him no means no and you like it long and that's the end of it. He can't be much of a friend if he harassed you for 2 hours. Tell him to find someone else....


What she said.

[Dragon]

I so don’t under stand why some people find it fascinating to see people cut very long hair short.

[RadiantNeedle]

Probably the same reason why 'renovation/makeover' style shows are so popular; change. Drastic change, where people come into a room and go 'WOOOW it's so DIFFERENT' and cry and then we all get to watch someone else's emotional reaction. It's a liiiittle bit perverse, in my opinion.

[juliaxena]

Eek, to me it sounds like some strange ****** and I'd stay away from that person and tell them to stay away from me.

[Bonkers57]

Wow, your hair is gorgeous! It's grown a lot since I first started coming to this board :) Keep up the good work.

Spiritual reasons is good enough for me since it stops the questions.



When I tell people the reason I'm growing my hair long is for spiritual reasons, they never argue with me and try to get me to cut it. If I think they can be trusted with more detail, I will say that I have something specific that I have been praying about for a long time and growing my hair long is a kind of demonstration that I don't intend to give up on this particular prayer request until I get an answer. So far, that has worked really well to get people to keep their ideas about my hair to themselves.

[trillcat]

I cut my hair off, pixie short from waist length, after a bad 12 year relationship ended.
It did not "free" me, I was still miserable and now with a pumpkin head, I look dreadful with short hair. Small round head on small body, it was not a good look
I agree with the others, this guy sounds like he has a cutting ******, steer very clear of him.

[heidihug]

It's his job, it's how he makes his money, so of course he is going to lean towards wanting his friends and acquaintances to cut their hair. He simply cannot fathom why someone would NOT want to cut their hair off because it's all he knows. However, he seems to have taken his short hair proselytizing to an extreme, verging on obsession. He doesn't "get" it about truly loving one's long hair, and probably never will. I'd leave it at that and avoid all but necessary work contact.

[trolleypup]

Yes, it did strike me that he really likes the act of cutting hair. Which is funny, because he was also saying he was a supporter of really long hair, and that he rarely advised women to go really short with their styles. That, I think, is a bit of a contradiction given the way that he was talking.
That's even creepier...he only wants to cut short on women he is close to? :puke:

[Amraann]

You told him that you were not interested in cutting your hair.
That is all that needs to be said.
If he mentions it again I would just say "we had that conversation" and walk away.

I would simply not be dragged back into the conversation with him again.

[LilYaYa56]

I also feel that hairstylists always want to cut my hair shorter. My hair is on the longer side but everytime I get a trim the 1 inch that I asked to be cut somehow turns into 2 or 3 inches. I am convinced that hairstylists cut off more hair because they want your hair to be healthier. Anyway, I think its great that you are happy with your long hair so you should listen yourself and keep you hair long.

[Alvrodul]

Rant -

I just spent 2 hours on Facebook with an acquaintance (who used to own a styling salon) explaining to him that I would not look good with short hair and that I wouldn't like the maintenance of it either. He wants me to grow my hair really long so that he can then cut it really short, like pixie short.

Why is it that some stylists are so adamant about cutting your hair short, even when you tell them all the reasons why it wouldn't work for you? (Caveat: I did have really short hair at one time in my life. Loved it at the time, hated the maintenance and the growing out process.)

He seemed to think that me letting him cut my hair really short would free me, and be some sort of transformative process for me. I couldn't convince him that it would just not be 'me', and that I am perfectly happy now with my hair long. I already like myself, just the way that I am.

- End Rant.

Kimberly
Such an annoying man! I got irritated just reading about it! :steamFortunately, nobody has pestered me about my hair - if they had, I would have started with a polite, "No, I like it this way", and if they had persisted, I would have unveiled firmer varieties, backed up with clue-by-fours if necessary. :patrol: If someone had persisted longer than, say, 25 minutes, I probably would have whipped out one of my hair swords and started threatening him with it!:evil:

[Lamb]

Why on earth did you spend 2 hours messaging him? :confused: I'm sorry, I know he is a work connection and all that, but for the sake of politeness, 5 minutes would have been more than enough. "I'm sorry, my phone/doorbell is ringing." End of discussion.
Now I'm trying to get rid of this mental image of a one-handed facebook user with a h@ircvtt1ng f3ti$h. :puke:

[NickalNack]

Do you think you guys are maybe taking this a little out of proportion? Some people just get kicks out of seeing people cut their hair short. It's no more "perverse" or "creepy" than enjoying seeing someone with long hair flip it around for two minutes. Different strokes for different folks. Everyone has a ******. I mean, I'm not trying to irk anybody but... gee whiz.

[angelfell]

What I don't understand about a lot of stylists wanting to cut hair short is the fact that they're supposed to be up-to-date with hairstyle trends, right? If that's so, why are they soo keen on short/pixi cuts when just about everywhere I look, models and stars are wearing long hair? Extentions (usually) or no, at the moment there are a lot more icons I see wearing long, voluminous hair rather than a short pixi cut. This wasn't the case a few years ago I realize, when Nicole Ritchie and Rihanna were cutting it off and whatnot, but as I flip through my Victoria's Secret magazine.. not one short haired chic. Not saying that short hair is out of date or ugly or anything but I just don't see why stylists are still so persistent. Why cut it off and wear extentions when you can have the real thing?

[NickalNack]

I'm no hair stylist by any means, though I do draw a lot, and whenever I see a perfectly clean sheet of paper I'm just itching to draw something. They probably see a long haired person as that perfectly clean sheet of paper and are just aching to see what they can do to make you a work of art.

[Venefica]

In my favorite hairdresser shop I think only one of those working there have long hair, the rest have really short and spiky and all of them want to cut my hair. I tell them no way, then I tell them the reason why I am growing my hair out is that I want to look like the ghosts in Japanese horror movies as well as to practice various form of Spiritual hair magic and they look at me funny for some reason.

I think that many still have the idea that a free woman have short hair, while the more traditional women who is bound to a man's approval have long hair. Look at movies, if you have a female rebel, or a woman that stand up to men you can bet she have short hair. For me yes, long hair but me into contact with the traditionally feminine, but it is also for me a symbol of accomplishment, having grown my hair back from having had a mental breakdown and hacking it off while rocking back and forth and crying is a testament to me getting better, it is also the result of many hours of loving care and great patience where cutting it short would give me a prettier hair style right there and then instead of having to wait for it to grow long. Long hair is a symbol of freedom for me. And what else, I think it is pretty, and that I think is something some hairdressers need to learn, what the customer his or herself think looks good of them. I am proud of my hair, I would not be so proud of short hair. The Gods have given me this very thick and strong hair as a gift, I might as well show it off as well as I can.


When I tell people the reason I'm growing my hair long is for spiritual reasons, they never argue with me and try to get me to cut it. If I think they can be trusted with more detail, I will say that I have something specific that I have been praying about for a long time and growing my hair long is a kind of demonstration that I don't intend to give up on this particular prayer request until I get an answer. So far, that has worked really well to get people to keep their ideas about my hair to themselves.

Honest Witness, can I ask what Spiritual reasons you have for growing out your hair. I hope my question is not to intrusive and please forgive me if it is. I am just so fascinated by everything Spiritual and would love to hear more about how other pepole view the Spiritual.

[McFearless]

It isn't personal, he is just obsessed with hair cutting. I think he would do the same to others.

It is still very annoying, huh. You should of ended it much sooner and spent that two hours giving yourself a scalp massage, ha!

[kschr2004]

I think I was just so surprised that he was so stuck on the whole growing/cutting thing, that I wasn't quite sure how to handle ending the conversation. It constantly amazes me how freaky people can be about hair.

The good thing is that I rarely have much interaction with him, so it shouldn't be a big deal to just ignore him for a while. If he harps on it again the next time we do talk, I will be a lot firmer with him.

[jojo]

Id have told him to go forward and multiply in the nicest possible, if he want to satisfy his urge to cut hair tell him to buy a mannequin or practice on his own head and I agree with Carolyn the conversation wouldn't have got past the 2 minute slot. Tell him to go boil his head, your hair is beautiful what would be the point of growing to cut????

[jojo]

I think I was just so surprised that he was so stuck on the whole growing/cutting thing, that I wasn't quite sure how to handle ending the conversation. It constantly amazes me how freaky people can be about hair.

The good thing is that I rarely have much interaction with him, so it shouldn't be a big deal to just ignore him for a while. If he harps on it again the next time we do talk, I will be a lot firmer with him.

Sounds like a good plan! like you wouldnt go around chopping the heads off flowers just to see what they looked like, well you wouldnt would you! you keep that beautiful hair growing end of:soapbox:

[nowxisxforever]

What I don't understand about a lot of stylists wanting to cut hair short is the fact that they're supposed to be up-to-date with hairstyle trends, right? If that's so, why are they soo keen on short/pixi cuts when just about everywhere I look, models and stars are wearing long hair? Extentions (usually) or no, at the moment there are a lot more icons I see wearing long, voluminous hair rather than a short pixi cut. This wasn't the case a few years ago I realize, when Nicole Ritchie and Rihanna were cutting it off and whatnot, but as I flip through my Victoria's Secret magazine.. not one short haired chic. Not saying that short hair is out of date or ugly or anything but I just don't see why stylists are still so persistent. Why cut it off and wear extentions when you can have the real thing?

Because that way they can sell the extensions, and also you have the necessary "touch-up" cuts to keep it in shape rather than losing its original look, so they come in more often than someone who is growing their hair out would.

Cutting is how they make their money, after all..