Totally depressed...should I give up on a dream...

[wahmof9]

Since I was 13 I have wanted hair to my waist...when I found this place...I thought "hey this IS possible!"

In 18 months my hair has grown 5 inches...granted I have done minor trims for my hair is baby fine and that is the only way to keep it looking good.

In the past five months, it has grown 1/2 inch (with 3 micro trims).

Does this mean that BSL is all my hair can grow....is this it? Is my t%#@*&^% (can't say the word :( )

:(

[virgo75]

:grouphug:

Don't give up just yet.

Hair grows an average of 6 inches per year.

It's not always a consistant growth of 1/2 an inch per month.
Sometimes it's an inch per month for 3 months, then nothing for 4 months, then 1/2 an inch the next month, etc.

Give your hair some time, it might not be done yet. :flower:

[christine1989]

BSL would be a very short terminal length so it is probobly still growing :) Don't worry too much- most hair tends to grow in irratic patterns of faster and slower growth.

[FrannyG]

I suspect that your hair has grown a lot more than you think. Your hair is more than wavy, almost curly really, so it takes more length for your growth to be as visible as it is for someone like me with pin-straight hair.

No, you most definitely should not give up on your dream. You'll get there, you'll see. :blossom:

[tigr]

Instead of giving up, why not lengthen your goal time? What about aiming for waist-length hair by the time you're 45, or better yet, 50? That should give you enough time, even with frequent trims. You're going to get to 50 anyway (barring premature death). So many women reach 50 and are unhappy with some aspect of their lives.

I'm glad I decided to grow out my hair. It's awesome being 50 and being happy with my hair.

[RitaPG]

Agree with Franny, curls do eat up the length sometimes, making it harder to tell the real length.
I know for a fact that my hair prorbably won't get much longer than BSL, not because it's terminal, but because it's so fine that no matter how often I trim and S&D, there are always splits and broken bits. So I understand how frustrating it feels.
You just have to be very patient, hair is a stubborn thing sometimes :flower:

[Wanderer09]

Your hemline looks so thick that it's highly unlikely you've reached your terminal length. :) Hang in there!

[Carolyn]

No, don't give up. I'm sure you ARE growing. You may have a slower than average growth rate. but it's still possible to grow. You are still growing. Don't set a time limit for yourself. Your goal can stay the same. Waist length took me 2 years longer than I thought it would and I never had hope of getting to waist length until I found the long hair boards. Keep on taking good care of your hair. I'm sure it will grow.

[Merewen]

Don't give up! Some hair grows more slowly than others. It's perfectly normal. I've only gained 5 inches in the last 17-18 months. But it is still growing and I know I still have a ways to go until terminal. You can make it! It just takes time.

[Roscata]

Don't give up. Time will pass if you let your hair grow and if you don't let it grow.

I say at least get closer to your goal as time passes in stead of further away.

You can do it! :D

[Deborah]

Your hair looks both pretty and healthy. I'll be shocked if you cannot reach and maintain a lovely waist length. Maybe trim half as often or half as much as you presently do, allowing more growth to remain on your head.

You will make it to waist! Hang in there. :cheer:

[MicheleClaire]

Stop trimming your hair so much. :rolleyes:

[Roseate]

Your hair is looking incredible! I remember seeing your old avatar, with the shoulder-length hair, and I hadn't seen any stages in between- it looks so great.

It doesn't look anywhere near terminal. I don't see any taper at all; you will definitely see significant taper at terminal. Probably just a frustrating stall.

Could you cut down your trimming frequency at all? Maybe cut back to once every two months or so? Three trims in five months, no matter how small, is going to slow you down.

Also, take a peek at your diet, just make sure you're getting enough protein, veggies, proper hydration and all that.

But seriously, it looks great.

[Gilly]

I feel your pain.
I am also struggling to get to waist, you are a long way ahead of me though, mine seems to be determined to stay at collar level and whenever it gets past this it goes mental, stringy and very dry no matter what I do with it.
My latest plan of attack is to feed it as much as I can so I have been doing lots of protien treatments and lots of moisture treatments, I am SLS and Cone free as my scalp hates SLS and my hair really does not like any cones in conditioners at all, i don't use any styling products and I do clarify a few times a month, I wash daily, this is non negotiable due to it being so fine, but I feel less guilty about it now that with all the extra TLC it is starting to behave itself

I may get to waist eventually but I won't beat myself up if I don't.
I agree with the others, your hair looks great with no taper, its still growing for sure!:cheese:

[wahmof9]

Your hemline looks so thick that it's highly unlikely you've reached your terminal length. :) Hang in there!
BLESS YOU for saying my hemline looked thick!:cheese:

[wahmof9]

Don't give up! Some hair grows more slowly than others. It's perfectly normal. I've only gained 5 inches in the last 17-18 months. But it is still growing and I know I still have a ways to go until terminal. You can make it! It just takes time.
HUGS to you too then! Some get 5 inches in just a few months....we are about on the same schedule:D

[wahmof9]

Your hair is looking incredible! I remember seeing your old avatar, with the shoulder-length hair, and I hadn't seen any stages in between- it looks so great.

It doesn't look anywhere near terminal. I don't see any taper at all; you will definitely see significant taper at terminal. Probably just a frustrating stall.

Could you cut down your trimming frequency at all? Maybe cut back to once every two months or so? Three trims in five months, no matter how small, is going to slow you down.

Also, take a peek at your diet, just make sure you're getting enough protein, veggies, proper hydration and all that.

But seriously, it looks great.
Thank you! Will hide the scissors...no trims until March (my 2 year anniversary)

[Konstifik]

It doesn't sound like below average growth to me, especially if you've trimmed it as well. I think your current growth rate is normal. All you need is patience. :flower:

[MissMB]

I do not encourage you to give up whatsoever. However, I met a girl once that said her terminal length was where is was: a few inches above BSL. She was very positive of this and in her early twenties. I would say a terminal length that short would be very very uncommon. Hang in there, and enjoy some hair toys. :)

[Nera]

Don't give up! Your hair is not straight. It can take years, so a lot of patience will help you. And like virgo 75 said; growth is not consistent! You might have a slow growth, and it might dissapear with your waves, but you're probably really not at terminal;)

[Jessica Trapp]

Hang in there! 5 inches in 18 month is a good steady growth rate.

:flower: jes

[mariika]

Since I was 13 I have wanted hair to my waist...when I found this place...I thought "hey this IS possible!"

In 18 months my hair has grown 5 inches...granted I have done minor trims for my hair is baby fine and that is the only way to keep it looking good.

In the past five months, it has grown 1/2 inch (with 3 micro trims).

Does this mean that BSL is all my hair can grow....is this it? Is my t%#@*&^% (can't say the word :( )

:(
Welcome to the club. I have a suspicion this is it for me as well. When I was a kid no one cut my hair but it hardly ever reached apl. Now it's slightly past bsl when wet which means that full-on curly it's not even apl and when wavy it's at most a bit past apl


I met a girl once that said her terminal length was where is was: a few inches above BSL. She was very positive of this and in her early twenties. I would say a terminal length that short would be very very uncommon.
No, actually, it wouldn't. Human hair (one single hair can't usually grow past this) is on average between 60 and 120 cms. Anything longer is a deviation. So some 10-20% of people will end up with 60-70 cms of terminal length. That SHORT. But that's reality. Although the OP states that her hair still grows - no matter how slowly if hair still grows (in a sense that it gains length) and is not of the same length for, say, a year - it's not terminal length yet.

[ktani]

Please do Not give up on your dream! Human hair on average grows 1/2 an inch per month. That means some people will exceed that rate and some will fall below it.

What is more important is your health and the health of the hair you are growing. Your hemline does look think and your hair looks great!

If there are no underlying health or diet related problems, and you have breakage under control, just be patient. It is not a competition here regarding hair growth or condition.

Everyone has to make the best of the hair they have and this community is devoted to helping all members achieve that, as I see it.

I feel for you in terms of your frustration. I do think that you are making progress though and that you can reach the goal you want.

[pepperminttea]

Keep going; a slower than average growth rate is a pain, especially combined with wave/curl shrinkage, but you will get there eventually. :)

[mariika]

Keep going; a slower than average growth rate is a pain, especially combined with wave/curl shrinkage, but you will get there eventually. :)

Not necessarily. That's the trick with slow growth - single hair's life is not long enough for it to grow long enough for us to be happy.

[Theobroma]

In 18 months my hair has grown 5 inches...granted I have done minor trims for my hair is baby fine and that is the only way to keep it looking good.

Do you wear it down a lot? If so, perhaps you could keep it looking good by putting it up more to keep the ends out of harm's way? I have chronic problems with thin ends myself, but ever since I joined the updo challenge the ends have not been thinning the way they used to do. (I haven't trimmed since January or early February this year and the end of my braid is no thinner now than it was then.) Also, learning new updos is fun and a great excuse to invest in beautiful, non-damaging hairtoys.

Whatever you do, DON'T give up. You WILL get to waist eventually!

[blondecat]

Please Please don't give up yet. Mine is very slow growning too. Similar hair to yours.

Mine took 3 yrs to get to waist and it was very worth the wait.

Peace :)

[bunzfan]

I suspect that your hair has grown a lot more than you think. Your hair is more than wavy, almost curly really, so it takes more length for your growth to be as visible as it is for someone like me with pin-straight hair.

No, you most definitely should not give up on your dream. You'll get there, you'll see. :blossom:
I totally agree with Franny on the growth rate when your hair is curly/wavy i know i loose at least 2 inches when it dry and mine is only wavy if yours is curly you could loose even more once it is dry. Why not take a look at the length when its wet i bet your closer to waist than you think..its's frustrating i know.

[MissMB]

No, actually, it wouldn't. Human hair (one single hair can't usually grow past this) is on average between 60 and 120 cms. Anything longer is a deviation. So some 10-20% of people will end up with 60-70 cms of terminal length. That SHORT. But that's reality. Although the OP states that her hair still grows - no matter how slowly if hair still grows (in a sense that it gains length) and is not of the same length for, say, a year - it's not terminal length yet.

Really? That's interesting, I never thought of it that way. I guess that can be demonstrated by looking at the circumference near the ends of your hair and the by the base of your head; aside from broken hairs from damage.

I didn't necessarily agree that hers was at the terminal length, I just said it would be uncommon if it was. Regardless, I don't personally know any other people that have a terminal length on most of their hair around there.

[wahmof9]

Please Please don't give up yet. Mine is very slow growning too. Similar hair to yours.

Mine took 3 yrs to get to waist and it was very worth the wait.

Peace :)
Oh that is encouraging!

[sneakybea]

What would "giving up" mean? If it means cutting your hair, because if it's not waist-length it's not worth having long at all, then don't you dare give up! However, what you might benefit from "giving up" is the notion that your hair "should" get to a certain length by a certain time. Everybody's hair grows at a different rate, and I'll echo those who've said that for the curly and wavies, it's harder to accurately measure growth. That's where I think the practice of "benevolent neglect" can be most helpful. Take care of your hair, micro-trim only when it needs it, and maybe lay off the measuring tape for awhile.
I have slow growing hair myself, and was stuck at mid-back for most of my twenties. I thought it was my terminal length, especially since my mother never cut her hair until she was twelve, and it didn't even get to her waist. But it started growing again, for whatever reason, and now I have to trim it to keep it at my waist.

[JulietCapulet]

Your hair probably just grows slowly so it will take more time. Don't give up! It will get there!

[DavidN]

Please never, ever, give up hope, Wahmof9! As several others have said, curly hair does seem to grow more slowly, but your hair is still growing! (you do have beautiful curls, btw!)There are times when it hardly seems to grow at all, and other times, you suddenly have a growth spurt. You can do it!:cheer:

[girlcat36]

Patience! Wavy/ curly hair 'seems' to grow slowly.
Believe me, I know. I have been at LHC for over 3 years, starting at 18". And here I am now at barely 27". I am seeing LHC members who started out at the same length as me closing in on hip now. Yes, it's frustrating, but no reason to give up.
I thought BSL was my terminal length as well; I was sure of it.
I had been growing for 17 years and could never get past BSL(it was breaking, or over zealous stylists trimmed off too much).
I have now grown past BSL, and am halfway to waist. My hair is thin so it doesn't look very impressive, but it IS growing.
Make sure you take care of your ends so that they don't break off. :)

[IStand4u]

Hair grows at a different rate for everyone, and it goes in spurts, IMHO. My hair, I know will grow 2 inches a month for 6 months, and then only half an inch for a few months and then anywhere inbetween. Although, it is a consistent pattern for me.

Don't give up though! You hair will still grow! It may just take alot longer...

[SilvraShadows]

Never, never, never. Always embrace your dream tenaciously and don't give up in discouragement!

[wahmof9]

Group hug....this is the best community! Thanks and God bless you all. You guys are awesome!:D

[Sooze]

Just wanted to add a hug too, if I may? Don't give up. As a fellow curly, I know how frustrating it can be waiting for your hair to grow. I curse the day in desperation I had mine chopped so short. Thanks to LHC I've found some excellent advice and hair care tips, and am much more positive now about growing it long again - and I'm 48 - so I go with all of the other advice and say, be patient, keep loving your hair and don't be too rigid about your goal.

[Athena's Owl]

Hey there! I joined in 2005 with APL hair, and I hadn't made it to waist length two years later in 2007. I put my hair up in a bun just about every day for three years, and now it's past my waist curly, and tbl straight. It might take you some time to grow to the visual length you want, but I don't think you're at your terminal length just yet!

[EbonyCurls]

I personally wouldn't measure my hair anymore. I have curly hair and the few times I tried measuring I got different results every time. I also get microtrims and while the downside is that it doesn't get as long, as fast, I feel confident knowing that I am giving it the best start I know how. Give it time, maybe trim just once a year and do search and destroys throughout the year.

[30isthenewblack]

Patience! Wavy/ curly hair 'seems' to grow slowly.
Believe me, I know. I have been at LHC for over 3 years, starting at 18". And here I am now at barely 27". I am seeing LHC members who started out at the same length as me closing in on hip now. Yes, it's frustrating, but no reason to give up.
I thought BSL was my terminal length as well; I was sure of it.
I had been growing for 17 years and could never get past BSL(it was breaking, or over zealous stylists trimmed off too much).
I have now grown past BSL, and am halfway to waist. My hair is thin so it doesn't look very impressive, but it IS growing.
Make sure you take care of your ends so that they don't break off. :)

I feel your pain and frustration. I had a very similar hair journey to Girlcat. Since I have been taking my hair into my own hands and doing my own trims, I have seen more visible growth. My longest layer is now hip straight but it's between BSL curly and waist curly. Teri La Flesh who wrote the book 'Curly Like Me: How to Grow Your Hair Healthy, Long, and Strong (http://www.tightlycurly.com/welcome/)' said it took ten years for her hair to grow that length.

[x0h_bother]

*hug* Have you joined BSL to Waist?? We are all suffering in the abyss :( :) And I don't think you trim too much at all, I just think you're a slow grower like me.

[Speckla]

You can get there. It might be growing a little slower than you'd like but it is obviously growing. Concentrate on keeping it healthy and strong and it will look better as you get longer.

[hanne jensen]

Have you tried Monostat? It can double your hair growth rate. If you think that's too icky, try scalp massages every day. I feel your pain as I'm a slow grower too. I tend to completely stall for 5 months a year. I've discovered that putting my hair up every day and wearing a scarf has also increased my growth rate. I think it's the heat that stimulates my hair follicles.

Your hair is drop dead gorgeous, so hang in there.

[OleanderTime]

Yup, I feel your pain. At least your hair is definitely growing -- 5 inches (plus trims) is nothing to sneeze at. That's about what I've done in the last 18 months, too. I recently put up a post basically saying the SAME thing as you (it has time comparison pics):

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=56249

[bte]

The advantage of dreams which don't take place when you're asleep is that you have control over them.

I dreamed of having hair at least waist length - but after 16 years of growth, I know that the most I shall ever achieve is APL. That came as a shock, but I have modified my dream to keep my hair as long and as healthy as I can for the rest of my life.

I hope you'll find that this is just a stall, and that you gain more length soon. But if you don't get to waist, you've already achieved a lot, and I hope you will be able to modify your dream just enough to feel satisfied.

[Venefica]

Hair is a living part of your body, it might be in a rest period. Do not give up, it might get going again. And besides as long as it do grow you are getting closer to your goal, just do not give up, I am sure you will eventually get there. :D