Are You Offended When People Say You Should Cut Your Hair?

[JulietCapulet]

Hi all. I'm sure there is another thread like this however this is my own story. I asked a friend of mine whether I look better with my hair up or down and she said up. Then she added that it was too long and that I should cut it. I was wondering if maybe she meant that I am too old for long hair or that it is making me look older? But I was SO offended by it. The idea of cutting my hair is really painful and emotional for me. I can't seem to forget this. I feel self conscious now like...maybe it looks wrong. Do you feel this way if anyone has ever told you you should cut it? Thanks:-)

[yvsa]

I think she is jealous. Your hair is beautiful.

[Airmide]

Your hair in your avatar looks beautiful. I wouldn't even worry for a moment. Your friend is probably envious, or there's just no accounting for taste. Some people have told me over the years I should cut my hair, but I'm pretty immune to peer pressure lol. And a million times more people have begged me to never cut it! They're the ones I'm going along with haha, cause that's what I want anyway!

[Dragon]

I agree your hair looks nice. I wouldent worry about what she thinks. She is probaly jelous.

[strawberrywine]

envious or not it is really none of her bussiness and not up to her! I think your hair looks beautiful and you should be very proud of it regardless of what she thinks.

I once was in a similar situation. My friend didn't tell me to cut just expressed her distain at growing it. I told her about my desire to have really long hair and she gave me a funny look then said, "why would you want to do that, long hair is dirty and for hippie earth loving type people who never wash it." Then she said she didn't like the look of long hair on anyone.
Did this stop me from growing my hair? No, it just made me realize my friend can be very narrow minded and childish :)

[eresh]

One of my friends has said a few times to cut my hair so I would get more volume.
She's a really good friend, it's her opinion and I don't mind.
I'll do what I want ;-)

[Yozhik]

Your hair is so pretty! I was just admiring it in another thread -- maybe the collection of LHC lengths one? -- and thinking that it was gorgeous. :)

I'm beginning to worry about this, too, as my hair seems to have more weight to it now that it's reached BSL+ and so it seems to have less volume and less curls. I'm still determined to grow it out, though, and I still have reservations a year or two from now, I might consider trimming a bit. I hope her comment hasn't deterred you -- your hair is really very beautiful!

[luxepiggy]

My ex-boyfriend was always after me to cut and/or BLEACH my hair :rant: He also used to say it looked better up :rolleyes: After a few attempts to talk some sense into him, I just started not responding when he would make those types of comments :brickwall

There are always going to be people with different tastes, I suppose. That's what I tell myself :p Also, I hate to say this, and of course this is a very broad generalization, but I'm often wary of asking girlfriends for input on my appearance - I tend to ask either my very close male friends or my mom instead. Sometimes it's just hard for people to set aside their own hangups, KWIM?

[WaitingSoLong]

Sometimes I think people look better with long hair, or better with short hair, but that is my personal opinion and I KEEP IT TO MYSELF. I am so sick of a society where everyone has to say everything that comes to mind. What happened to prudence? Consideration? Tact? Respect?

Hair is VERY personal. Instead of focusing on whether someone would look better with longer/shorter, etc. hair, I admire the variety! All the different colors, textures, styles and lengths.

Long hair is not rare, but it is less common that short hair because anyone can get their hair cut, but it takes patience to grow it long. I think that makes it an oddity to some. After quite a bit observing and personal experience, I have found that long hair intimidates some people
because they can't just "go and get it" if they like it. It has to be earned.

I truly think the motive behind a lot of this is envy, but even if you WOULD look better, who cares? I know I would look better if I wore decent clothes, but I prefer my frumpy baggy clothes. I have had comments that I should show off my figure because I have it, but it's MY body and maybe sometimes I will put on a sleek outfit, but I always choose comfort over looks. This is why I do not own high heel shoes. THEY HURT and also the reason I grew my hair long in the first place, it was just easier.

[spitfire511]

Hugs to you. You have gorgeous hair, to heck with what anyone says about how they think it looks best. :)

I personally don't get offended when people say stuff like this because I could give a rats hind end what anyone thinks about my hair. DH loves it long and down, so that's a plus - but even then, it's *my* hair. I don't tend to ask anyone's opinion of my hair, namely because I don't care (is that awful?).

If she says something again, you should say, "Really? I've really always thought you'd look better with longer hair - I just tend to keep it to myself because I figure you wear your hair how you like it." :) (okay - maybe not, but it's fun to pretend we'd say things like that. I never have the guts to.)

[Carolyn]

You opened the door by asking her if she thought it looked better up or down. Most people would be too polite to add the comment about cutting it. If she's a good friend and this was a one time hair conversation, I'd say let it go and remind yourself never to bring up the subject of hair with her again.

[Kris Dove]

Only if they tell me without me asking! It's a bit like saying "you look crap now" if you give an opinion on someone's appearance uninvited, isn't it?!

[noelgirl]

Only if they tell me without me asking! It's a bit like saying "you look crap now" if you give an opinion on someone's appearance uninvited, isn't it?!

Which is why I find comments like that to be rude twofold - it's an insult to looks and intelligence, to presume that the comment recipient isn't aware of how they look. It's condescending, a bit like "oh, so-and-so just needs to be taught."

[tinti]

I've been told to cut my hair and that it makes me look old and ugly. And yes, it offends me very much. I have actually cut it a few times because of it, but I'm not gonna do that anymore. I'd say just go for what you want. She's probably just jelous, and anyway it's none of her business to tell you what to do with your hair/body.

[hanne jensen]

I get those comments all the time, and my hair is only APL+! I just ignore it and keep growing.

Your hair looks gorgeous in your siggy pic. Maybe it's that green monster (envy) rearing its ugly head?

[angelfell]

I don't get offended, I just don't agree. I've realized that some people just like short hair better.. on everyone.. no matter what, and they'll always think like that. Me? I like myself in long hair, and I beg my boyfriend to grow his out some.. but he insists on keeping it pretty short.

[mariika]

I think that we should give a friend some credit to be able to give us hairstyle advice. For example, many girls out there have long hair with about 10 cms of severe damage, they could benefit from a friend advising them to trim their hair.
Look in the mirror and think - do I look good? Is my hair well groomed? Is it shiny and healthy? (Well, at least more or less.) Does it suit my face? If you answer yes to these questions - you have nothing to worry about!
It's only that sometimes we loose it and start looking quite badly, and friend's advice could be a wake up call.
Then again, in your profile picture your hair looks great!

[cmnt831]

I don't get offended and people have told me plenty of times that I should cut my hair. I personally would never tell anyone how to wear their hair or clothing, etc. That's their decision, just as your hair is your decision. Wear it the way it makes you feel most comfortable. Don't let those comments get you down. :flower:

[Lemur_Catta]

My sister and my mother always say I should cut my hair, not really short, like shoulder-APL, and dye it lighter, because that's how I had my hair when I was 17, and everybody said I looked great.
I was also a lot thinner though :( I am saddened when they say I should cut my hair "like when you were 17", because what I hear is "when you were 17 you were thinner and beautiful". Maybe they don't want to imply that, but that's what I think.

[pepperminttea]

Ditto to Carolyn; perhaps make a mental note not to bring up hair with her again, if you can avoid it? It's your hair, don't let others worry you about it. (Although for the record, your hair is beautiful.)

I haven't actually been told to cut my hair, yet, but I think that's mostly because it's always up so people assume it's the same length it was two years ago. :p

[Bluebell]

[quote=WaitingSoLong;1283243]Sometimes I think people look better with long hair, or better with short hair, but that is my personal opinion and I KEEP IT TO MYSELF. I am so sick of a society where everyone has to say everything that comes to mind. What happened to prudence? Consideration? Tact? Respect?

/quote]

Yes.

Maybe some people think hair grows to be cut off. And not to do so makes it neglected.

Or people are curious how you would look with short hair. Like in the make-over shows.

Well, now you know her point of view. It's not confidenceboosting but try not to worry about it. In a few days you will not think about it to much anymore.

Enjoy your long hair, many more people think you're beautiful!

[FrannyG]

Unfortunately, you opened the door for her to give an opinion when you asked the question of whether or not she preferred you hair up or down.

I have certainly had people tell me to cut my hair, some because of my age, and some because they don't like long hair, period.

In every case, the advice was unsolicited, because I never ask for hair opinions from anyone in real life. Only here on LHC do I ask for advice about my hair.

It used to bother me, but now I take it with a grain of salt.

Not everyone likes long hair, and many people have opinions on what type of people should have long hair, based on hair type or age.

You can't please everyone, so just please yourself. :blossom:

[Centaur]

There are always going to be people with different tastes, I suppose. That's what I tell myself :p Also, I hate to say this, and of course this is a very broad generalization, but I'm often wary of asking girlfriends for input on my appearance - I tend to ask either my very close male friends or my mom instead. Sometimes it's just hard for people to set aside their own hangups, KWIM?

*Bolded for emphasis*

I think you are onto something there, Luxepiggy.

[spidermom]

Very honestly, nobody has ever said that to me except my father. I wasn't offended. It was his opinion and worth less to me than my own opinion.

[sophiamarie]

I too am offended when people say I should cut my hair. When it was alot longer, I caved
in to the various pressures, and I've never been as happy with my hair since. Also, I am as many people like to say "middle age" and "should start wearing your hair a little shorter". I finally decided I am doing what I want, and I'm growing it where I want it to be.

[lpsqt60]

OMG, you would not believe how many times someone says that to me! I get it a lot from my work and I truly think that it comes from a place of jealousy. It takes hard work and real effort to keep growing your hair long and to take care of it, some people see your hair and want to take you down a notch because they don't have the guts to grow their own hair out.
I say do what you want and if you want your hair long and flowing, rock on!
I'll never cut my hair no matter how many times I hear that I should donate it to locks of love, no one will love my hair more than me!:cheese:

[cmnt831]

OMG, you would not believe how many times someone says that to me! I get it a lot from my work and I truly think that it comes from a place of jealousy. It takes hard work and real effort to keep growing your hair long and to take care of it, some people see your hair and want to take you down a notch because they don't have the guts to grow their own hair out.
I say do what you want and if you want your hair long and flowing, rock on!
I'll never cut my hair no matter how many times I hear that I should donate it to locks of love, no one will love my hair more than me!:cheese:

Oh my gosh, this totally reminded me of something that happened when I first entered the work-force. (I must have repressed it or something :p). At the time, my hair looked very similar to the way it looks in my siggy pic. Various people at work kept telling me to cut it, saying it would look more professional, etc. So, I gave in, wanting to please my supervisors and others and wound up with something very mullety with wings. When I showed up to work on Monday, they all told me how wonderful I looked. :rolleyes: I most certainly did not look wonderful as pictures from the time can attest. I have no idea what their motivation was for any of the comments good or bad.

So, JulietCapulet, learn from my mistake. Don't give in to the pressure, just do with your hair what makes you happy. :flower:

[sibiryachka]

Whether or not I take offense completely depends on the context in which the comment is made. My own style is that I will very seldom ask anyone else's opinion unless I'm already thinking something doesn't look so great, so I'm prepared to hear "You're right, it doesn't". This has been turned around on me occasionally, because if someone asks me what I think of their new haircut, if I think it's unflatteringly short on the sides, I will say so. It always takes me by surprise when someone is hurt or offended by a comment like that. I mean, you asked, right??
Unsolicited commentary is another question entirely. I will very seldom offer anything more critical than "You look tired" unasked - and even that I try to deliver with a tone of concern, not as "Wow, you look like hell".
I had one former friend who felt entitled to criticize my appearance quite freely. The friendship was already starting its decline the day he told me "I really wish you'd do something different with your hair", completely out of the blue. At first I was hurt, then I was just pissed. And within a year, the friendship was history.

[chelseamichelle]

People tell me all the time that I should cut my hair, but i'm not bothered by it at all. It would have offended me 2 years ago when I first started growing, but these days, theres nothing anyone can say that would make me feel bad about my hair. I put a lot of time and effort into caring for it, and i'm proud of it. I'm not growing my hair out for anyone else, it's just for me, because I love it this way and it makes me happy.

So, if you want long then grow it out, if you don't like it then cut it. Just do what you feel like doing :)

Oh, and there no such thing as being too old for long hair!

[Angeletti]

I don't blame you for getting offended, to me it's like telling someone they need to lose weight. Yes it's just hair but if someone is growing it long and likes it who are other people to tell them they need to cut it, etc. My sister constantly nags me about cutting my hair because to her long hair is gross, my ends are thin, etc. and it gets really hurtful and has made me paranoid when wearing it down.

[Peter]

I'm not offended by the fact that some people want me to cut my hair. What's offensive to me is the often sexist reasoning behind it, although that doesn't apply to you. Regardless, you shouldn't feel down because someone else doesn't like your hair. Unless you're growing it long to show it off to everyone, I think that other people's opinions shouldn't matter.

[BrightEyes7]

Yeah... my mom always tells me I need a cut. I ignore her.

Then my sister just cut all her hair off and she keeps telling me now I have to.... NO!! I just keep telling her no and that I love my hair and want it long. But she is pushy so keeps telling me to cut. I just try to ignore them. But then I get upset and think they don't like my hair. But it is about what I like so whatever! :D

[growing2shine]

I don't believe that long/longer hair makes anyone look older. Either you look old or you don't, but I do believe that colour/style can make a huge difference, both good and bad.

And I think that your hair looks beautiful and she is probably just jealous! :flower:

Oh and I can't get offended by anything people say about my hair. It's my hair my choice and I love it. Once I worked in a hair salon the hairdresser grabbed a big chunk of my hair and asked me why I didn't cut my hair.
Well why would you cut of something rare and beautiful?

[lapushka]

One of my friends has said a few times to cut my hair so I would get more volume.
She's a really good friend, it's her opinion and I don't mind.
I'll do what I want ;-)

I'm not even at waist length yet and someone commented on my hair along those lines, saying it'd look thicker shorter, that the length is taking away thickness, go figure. Maybe it just looks that way, because sometimes my hair's a bit stringy, I admit. The ponytail's thinner near the ends too (but that's normal for long hair). From the weight of it, it sure doesn't feel all that much thinner to me. :o

And I agree totally, people can say what they want about my hair, I'll do what I want with it. Ultimately, they don't have to take care of it. Hah, give them a week with my kind of short, wavy, messy, sticking-out-all-over-the-place hair, and they'd be *so* happy with long hair!

[Arianwen]

Most people don't have the nerve to say such things to me, I don't take no crap. Besides, my best friend has longer hair than I do and introduced me to this website sooo...Satan would be ice skating before she'd tell me to cut my hair off. :P

My mom learned long ago to keep ignorant commentary to herself, too, likewise, I don't harp at her about stuff, though when she was complaining about her grey hair being drier, I gave her a few suggestions ie: cutting the shampoo with water etc and she tried them out and it worked for her. I've encouraged her to grow her hair out but she prefers to keep it short. It's her hair, her decision.

[Othala]

The only people who have ever told me to cut my hair are my family and I don't think they will ever give up. Am I offended? No, because long hair has too many negative connotations for them and they cannot understand why I want it and keep it. I do feel sad about it, but hey ho, my hair is not grown to please them.

[adiapalic]

I've honestly never had someone say this to me, but if someone did I would be more annoyed than offended because I know for a fact that my hair doesn't need cutting and looks just fine without it. :)


Very honestly, nobody has ever said that to me except my father. I wasn't offended. It was his opinion and worth less to me than my own opinion.

Hehe, I like this. :bluebiggr

[capelli lunghi]

The only thing that really bothers me is when someone shames me for having long hair and not "donating it to all those poor cancer patients".. That really bothers me because, 1) my Grandma was a cancer patient and she loved my hair, she told me to never cut it.. 2) I didn't inquire about their recent donations.. when did they donate blood last or what is the last charity they contributed to? I shouldn't have to tell anyone what my charitable donations are whether it is money, time, body parts, or whatever.. it is between me and God.. and 3) I love my hair... I like it the way it is..

[jera]

Am I offended when people suggest I cut my hair? Yes and no. Mostly I'm offended that they don't respect my decisions about my body. Part of me thinks that if my hair were super gorgeous, they wouldn't even dream of suggesting a cut so it must mean my hair is unattractive. :( ( I guess I'm insecure about some things. :o)
The hair in your avatar is just beautiful, BTW. I wouldn't change a thing if I were you. ;)

[Aleria]

I wouldn't say offended, because I don't really care if other people like my hair long. I like it that way and it's good enough for me.
Plus, I secretly want to see what I'd look like with a short, reverse angled bob (front longer than the back) and bright turquoise hair

[Igor]

Offended? No. Irritated? Yes, some times.

I guess its one of those things people just must comment on. Its like as soon as you have any feature that sets you outside the “norm”, people feel it’s their right to comment on it (And sometimes they feel it’s their right to comment on this that doesn’t fit in their own personal taste as well)

Its one of those irritating that’s that just seems to belong to the human race. You can’t change what people think or say, but you can adjust your own reaction to it.

For instance: As a skinny (ish) girl with big boobs, people seem to think they have a right to comment on them. “You have big boobs for a skinny girl, doesn’t it ever bother you?” Well duh, of course some times they bother me. They’re big boobs. But it bothers me more when people without brain-to-mouth-filter comments on them :rolleyes: I cant keep people from staring at my chest, even if I wore a burqa. I can’t smack people for being so rude that they feel the need to comment on something obvious about my body. But I can chose not to be angry about it.

If I had to adjust everything about myself for every stupid “advice” or comment I received, there would be nothing left that would be me. I don’t wear the right clothes, I don’t wear makeup like I should, I don’t have the right boobies, I don’t have the right tan, I don’t use the right bank, I don’t go on the vacation that I should…. Whatever!

You can’t change when people have no brain-to-mouth-filter. But you can develop an ear-to-brain-filter when people feel the need to push their unwelcome opinions on you. And you can develop a little guy in your brain that calls out what you want to do with yourself and your body if your ear-to-brain-filter should fail

[Demetrue]

I've been offended a few times by unsolicited comments aka veiled criticisms. One time a friend of a friend was visiting and came into my house for the first (and last) time. I had just had my 3rd baby and was quite overweight, and my carefully grown-out hair was probably messy and unwashed because my priorities were elsewhere. Well, she saw a framed picture I had of myself with short hair when I was slender and about 15 years younger and she says, "Oh, is that you? Short hair looks so much more flattering on you!" I was so pissed off. I said, "Well, I was 15 years younger and 30 pounds lighter at the time."

The other time, I had been growing my hair long and it was about shoulder length and I was so happy that it was growing back and a supervisor out of the blue said, "You know, with your long face, that long hair just pulls you down." I said, "Actually, I didn't like it short, which is why I am growing it long again." Yeeeeesh!!!

[Pumpkin]

I have learned NEVER to ask another woman what she thinks about my hair, weight, makeup, dress, perfume, __________ (fill in the blank). Nine times out of ten, I get a negative comment.

[FrizzFighter]

A good friend of mine, who has always worn her hair really short, recently started growing it. It's getting low down on her neck right now, still in many layers due to growing it out. She emailed me to today with the following rant:

I was walking down the hall at work and this woman said to me, "Are you letting your hair grow out"? I said, "yep". She said with a sour look on her face, "I like you better with short hair".

Next time maybe she can reply "Well, I'd like you better if you kept your comments to yourself."

[InTheCity]

My mom, who would never and has never hurt me in any way tells me all the time to cut it. She throws out 6 inches as a suggestion though she has no idea what kind of commitment 6 inches takes. Her hair seems to grow like a weed, so she has to cut it a lot to keep it shoulder length.

She doesn't know that it hurts me and I have no reason to tell her - all she really means is since I don't have thick hair it doesn't look as good long as it would...

Moral: ignore it. Sometimes they mean well, sometimes they are jealous and other times they have no idea they are saying something that makes you feel some type of way.

[christine1989]

It sounds like your friend is a bit jealous (and I can see why!) I'm not too offended when people suggest I get a haircut because they are so used to short bobs as being "normal". I have found that if I say no enough times they all stop making annoying suggestions.

[Jadewtch]

My husband always complained when I'd cut my hair short because I wanted a change. I ignored him. You should do the same. ;)

[Amraann]

It would not really bother me as I do not care what other people think.

I have a friend who comes to Florida once a year and at least once a year she tells me I should cut my hair.

Some people have some odd notions about long hair. Don't let it bother you~

[Gladtobemom]

I'm of the, "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all," school. So the short answer is that I'm offended most of the time.

If they say I would look prettier with shorter hair . . . once, then okay. But I'm certainly not going to continue the conversation in that area.

[Deborah]

No one has ever said that I should cut my hair. If they did I would no doubt just ignore their advice and go my happy way.

[Christopher]

The only time people have ever told me to cut my hair has been job related. I've worked for some companies in the past that required shorter hair for men. While my former employer let me grow my hair beyond what they preferred, when I started traveling to client locations, I had to cut it.

I'm currently freelancing from home and letting my hair grow again. I'm hoping to be able to keep freelancing, but if I have to return to a normal day job, I hope to have enough of an emergency fund (after nine months of unemployment, the emergency fund's been chewed up quite a bit) that I can be picky and interview with longer hair and not have to worry if a potential employer has a problem with it.

I'm not necessarily offended when I've been expected to keep my hair shorter, but I tend to feel more free in places where I'm allowed to have longer hair. I tend to be one of the better dressed men most places I work, but long hair is often seen as a big issue.

Christopher

[Zindell]

A couple of different coworkers have told me in the past that I should cut my hair. It haven't happened lately though. Maybe they just gave up. :D

But yes, I was offended. They could've just as well told me I was too fat, and should loose some pounds.

I mean, who are they, telling me my look is not ok??

[MsEvans]

I was offended when a friend of mine suggested I cut my hair into a stcked hair cut. She even went so far as to ask other people whaat they thought and they all agreed. I don't care, I'm not cutting my hair.

[Bluebell]

You can’t change when people have no brain-to-mouth-filter. But you can develop an ear-to-brain-filter when people feel the need to push their unwelcome opinions on you. And you can develop a little guy in your brain that calls out what you want to do with yourself and your body if your ear-to-brain-filter should fail

I love this!

[trillcat]

Why get offended?
Someone is always going to think something about you that you don't like.
Too fat/thin, too tall/short, too old/ young, you don't wear the right clothes, you dont drive the right car, ya can't win with all people so why stress yourself?
You did ask her opinion so don't get bent when she says she says she does not like it. To quote a much used phrase, "Opinions are like a$$*oles. We all have them and they all stink"
What do you see when you look in the mirror? If you are happy, then blast all with other stinky opinions.

[shyone]

I do find it hurtful when people tell me to cut my hair.Long hair is a woman's glory, so why would I cut it off?

trillcat I had a teacher at school who said that opinions are like bums, we all have them but we don't need to show them.

[slythwolf]

When "people" tell me to cut my hair, it's almost always my sister. She never has anything but criticism for any aspect of my appearance or personal style. She has no respect for the fact that I am very different from her and hasn't for many years now. I don't even get offended anymore, just contemptuous.

[beez1717]

Ugh. What offends me more then anything else is when people talk about "donating it". To me that means that the person is cowardly and is not willing to say that they don't like me with long hair or that they want me to cut it and so they want me to "do it for the better good". It just makes me MAD. If you don't like it TELL ME. I'm growing out my hair and i don't care what you think, but I love long hair on me and you should at least respect that. When you tell me to donate it you are not only disrespecting me, but you are being rude openly. I understand it if you ask casually if I wanted to donate my hair because your curious, but if you come to me and try to argue that donating my hair is for the best, then NO your being rude. Sigh. Anyone agree with me?

[LocustSpawning]

What?!

I am actually shocked at how many people think that long hair is somehow 'dirty' or 'unkept'. If anything, a healthy head of long locks are usually much better kept than a short cut! Long hair takes a lot of patience and devotion to keep it looking good - surely this indicates that the person with long hair takes good care of themselves?

Also, isn't long beautiful hair a natural indication of complete beauty? I'm sure that most women that are portrayed to be beautiful have long hair.

[Immera]

Most of the adult population where I live has short hair, spends large amounts of money to keep it short and molded into shape and generally don't think mature folk should have long hair.

I ignore them.

I am also irritated by people who try to guilt trip into donating it. Why should my hair be harvested, when if they cared so much, they could grow and harvest their own hair?

[JulietCapulet]

Thank you everyone for your support. I appreciate it and I am definitely going to keep growing it to my waist!

[Dragon]

Thats good to hear:)

[Dreams_in_Pink]

I am offended.

Although my hair's too short to attract such cutting comments, people have commented on it looking average, dry, frizzy...and it all makes me angry. It's like, saying an acne sufferer "OMG you have zits all over your face!!1!" People need to stop worrying about each others' looks that much :(

[constantki]

My parents want me to cut my hair, but they would never force me to cut it, only encourage me.

[Cowgirl16]

I am also irritated by people who try to guilt trip into donating it. Why should my hair be harvested, when if they cared so much, they could grow and harvest their own hair?


AMEN Sister!:patrol:

[Babyfine]

My hair is not super long and I wear it up a lot so I(usually) don't get those comments.
Most hairstylists tell me to cut my hair but I'm not offended at all when they do, they are giving their professional opinion that my fine/spider webby hair would be better short/that's what they've been taught and it WOULD be better short(IMO) if I were going to wear it down a lot.(tangle city, lots of wind here)
The few recent negative comments I've had I opened the door by talking about or complaining about not liking my hair(that day).
Me: "My hair looks so flat today, yick I can't do anything with it"
Friend": "I think an inverted bob would look so cute on your fine hair, it would look a lot thicker!"
These days I never ever mention my hair outside of this forum and the Loom. Oddly enough I get far fewer
negative comments about my hair now that I'm 54 and wear it longer than I ever have in my adult life- than I did 25 years ago from either stylists or friends/family.
Go figure.

[slz]

I've never been told so but it would really offend me for sure ! And depending on whom it was from, maybe make me self conscious, too, like you reacted.

[weatherwax]

Oh, people used to say that to me all the time when I was in school. It was aggravating, but secretly I thought their hair looked silly, so I didn't take it too personally. Then again, this was the eighties, and they DID look silly ;).

Long hair is timeless. Ten years from now, your friend is going to look back at her (presumably) fashionable hair and laugh at it. You, on the other hand, are going to look at your old pictures and think, "Yep, that looks like me. Thank the gods I didn't get that <<insert hairstyle of choice>>. If only I had also had the sense not to wear <<insert clothing item of choice>>."

Your hair is beautiful.

[JulietCapulet]

I am offended.

Although my hair's too short to attract such cutting comments, people have commented on it looking average, dry, frizzy...and it all makes me angry. It's like, saying an acne sufferer "OMG you have zits all over your face!!1!" People need to stop worrying about each others' looks that much :(

I totally agree!!! When people tell me I have frizzy hair it makes me think violent thoughts about them.

[LouLaLa]

Keep it its sooo pretty!

As for me, im not offended when I get told things like that, one mate insists I should get a pixie cut, but its not "me" so I just usually say hmmm yes and then sort of ignore it! Although when her bf said he hated her dying her hair pink she got a taste of her own medicine! Long or short hair we arent immune to "helpful comments"

On the other hand Im getting people telling me I should cut it for charity more and more now and I do find that offensive as well I dont say stupid stuff liek that to them! I also dont like that people want to touch it (without permission)

Id just ignore people If I were you, you have to make you happy first!

[MissManda]

No, I'm not offended if anyone tells me that I should cut my hair. I'm not there to decorate their world and I absolutely refuse to change an aspect of my appearance just to please someone else. I have done that more than enough already and I have sworn to myself that I'm never going to do it again.

[Nevada Rose]

Other peoples opinions are just that....,opinions.

My Aunt, who was in her late 70's had beyond classic length silver hair which she always wore up in a bun. I doubt that she ever gave a hoot what others had to say about her hair. She was elegant and beautiful till the day she left us.

It is your hair and your choice....,no one else's. After all, they have their own hair to tend to.

[Anisaa]

I am starting to get those comments and likewise I feel that they are hinting that I might look bad with long hair or that it doesnt suit me because of my age. Anyways, I dont feel my hair is that long to get those comments it is about 4 fingers below my bra strap so about mid back.

[growing2shine]

Also, isn't long beautiful hair a natural indication of complete beauty? I'm sure that most women that are portrayed to be beautiful have long hair.


I agree. I think that long hair shows good health and beauty. I once heard that a womans best accessoriy is her hair. And I totally agree. And I have noticed that many beautiful actresses gets hair extentions for many different roles in different kinds of movies. So even though many long hairs gets quite offending/annoying comments, most people think that long hair is beautiful, I think.

[wickedwitch]

Only if they tell me multiple times, because then it seems like they don't respect my decisions. But everyone has their own opinions, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[Xandergrammy]

There are only a few people (all at work) who ever "suggest" that I cut it, and it used to offend me, but it doesn't any more. I am not a fan of the styles they choose to wear but would never be rude enough to share that opinion. I just smile and so "no thanks". Don't let it get to you. Whenever someone goes against the current fashion, there's someone else who thinks it is their job to "straighten them out". :justy:

[Xandergrammy]

No, I'm not offended if anyone tells me that I should cut my hair. I'm not there to decorate their world and I absolutely refuse to change an aspect of my appearance just to please someone else. I have done that more than enough already and I have sworn to myself that I'm never going to do it again.


A wee bit of a hijack, but MissManda, you have no idea how happy it makes me to see a young woman with this attitude. As a 55 year old woman, I can tell you that I spent many years trying to look like everyone else and "fit in". I now celebrate the woman who is me and I wish I had realized this at a younger age. :flowers:

[RecklessCharlie]

Not in the slightest. I often just smile and say I think they should grow theirs :)

[IcarusBride]

Well in this specific case it kind of sounds like you ASKED her opinion. Not that you asked "Do you think I should cut my hair?" but it was you who brought up the topic of your hair and asking her opinion of it... She probably thought since you are friends and you already broached the topic, it was okay for her to frankly give her opinion. I doubt she meant to hurt your feelings.

However, I think your hair is lovely and doesn't need to be cut!

If a stranger came up to me and was like OMG EW CUT YOUR HAIR ITS SOOOO LONG YUCK! I'd of course be offended. But if it's a friend or family member in goodwill telling me their oppinion, I do value that and I'm willing to look beyond my natural defensive reaction to see that. Doesn't mean I'd take their advice, though! hehe

[Venefica]

Your hair is very pretty, you are not to old for long hair, first of all you are not that old I can not see your face in your Avatar picture but I would guess 30 something, if you are younger I do not mean to offend, you look young but since you wondered if your friend considered your age in your comment I was thinking you had to be at least 30, secondly no one is never to old for long hair, it looks good on both old and young pepole.

For me I do not get offended when pepole tell me I should cut my hair, but I am thinking it is none of their business how I wear my hair. My mother like short hair, she had my hair short when I was young and she is always lobbying for short hair, but hell she can have her opinion and I can have my long hair, she still helps me dye it so I just smiles and nods when she says I should cut it.

[RitaPG]

Most of the time I'm not affected by other's opinions.
It's not what people say, it's the way they say it that sometimes lingers in my mind for days! :(

[WritingPrincess]

It's her opinion. She doesn't have to be envious, or jealous, or mean. It's her opinion. You asked for an opinion, but no one said that you then have to slavishly obey it. Acknowledge it, don't let it hurt you, and move on.

[Venefica]

I agree with Rita, the way pepole say something is often of more importance than what they say.

[Kelli Kat]

Very little offends me. I'm just like whatever and go my own way. I don't really care what people think of me or my hair. Pretty much why none of my family or friends give me advice or their opinions on anything anymore unless I specifically ask for it. :)

[Nicoliee]

I do generally get offended because anyone who has been around me at all knows why my hair is long and why I do not cut it. Now if they don't know I might get a twinge of annoyance but I won't hold it against them if they truly do not know why it's so long.

[SwordWomanRiona]

Don't worry, I think the "You should cut your hair, it's too long, it's not fashionable, etc" question, it's quite a trend at the moment, I get it ALL the time!! I have already said this in another threads, but again - The first thing that the typical conventional person one meets by accident tells me generally is "Oh, how long your hair is, aren't you ever going to cut it?". Why should they look so scandalized, I wonder? Can't they just stick to "Oh, how long your hair is" if they want (As if I haven't noticed yet :D)?
More than offended, I think I am fed up by now :mad:. But I don't listen to them, I don't care about these kind of comments generally speaking, and my friends are too much accustomed to my long hair to tell me to cut it (they only mention it sometimes, to tease me, but that doesn't make me mad, they're just joking, not trying to convince me...:)).
Forget about the "cut your hair" comment if you don't like it! Your hair is yours to do what you want with it, don't be self-conscious just because some stupid conventional people who only care about what it's fashionable at the moment tell you they don't like your hair long!

[Eire]

If people tell me my hair is too long, I remember that there are also plenty of people who would think it looked better before I cut it.

All in all, you should have your hair how *you* like it. You're never going to have a hair length that is universally ideal.

[azhie]

In my city, long virgin hair is uncommon. Everyone's hair is dyed, highlighted, layered, and styled in some way. My parents and relatives always tell me I would be prettier if I cut and styled my hair. Somehow, they think it's strange, careless behavior to not do anything to your hair, sort of implying that I'm too 'old' while I should take advantage of my youth to do more to my hair.

I used to be offended when family tell me I could be prettier if I did this and that. I used to submit to them and went to the hair salon regularly. But I was never happy with the results, and just ended up with really damaged hair! Long hair is less maintenance, messing with it less makes healthy hair, and healthy hair makes me happy.

They're just jealous they can't grow nice hair. :D It does take self-restraint to leave hair alone.

[ooo]

Yes, I would be offended, but I get easily offended :wink:

[skyblue]

Don't let others and what they say bother you...when you look at your hair do YOU like it?
Does it look beautiful to you?? If your happy with it then what does it matter what others say or think for that matter ;)
You being happy is the only thing that matters

[turquoisebud]

I don't have very long hair according to my area's standards, but I would probably be offended if it was obvious the person giving the advice was being negative and unkind. I wouldn't if I had asked about the length or something. If it was a friend I knew meant well it would be okay. I suppose some good advice to you and me who would be offended is - If your hair makes you happy and you are pleased with it/like the way it looks/etc, you should not be bothered with someone else s opinion. :o
I think sometimes, depending on your area, people connect long hair with dirty, untidy people who leave their hair long because they are to lazy to cut it. If someone said my hair was dirty because it was long, I would answer, "Does MY hair look dirty?" Most likely the other person would say "No". I would say "Well, there's an end on it" (actually I probably wouldn't have the courage to say that) :p

[chicken]

No - but they must live with the answer they get. If they have short hair, I'm really able to ask: "Why, I won't look like you do" or something like that. If somebody is rude, he gets a rude answer - that's easy

[Igor]

It offended me the day where I had spent hours comforting an overweight friend after a rather innocent comment some stranger had made on her weight (Seriously, wasn’t anything mean in it, but I guess it bothered her because she’s one of those people who complains she cant lose weight while eating a bag of chips. Sore spot, I guess?) and after trying to make her feel better most of the day, she suddenly turns to me and said ”You know, you would be so much prettier with shorter hair!”

[Insert nasty word]

:rolleyes:

[Finoriel]

If anyone would suggest that I cut my hair, because it would look better shorter :shrug: I'd likely thank them for voicing their opinion and move on. Taste varies and as long as I like how I look it's all good :wink:
When a topic is so close to my heart, that a negative reply would likely upset me, I avoid asking for an opinion. Yeah, the infamous avoidance-tactic :o
Your friend sure didn't hurt you on purpose, she just wasn't aware how hurtful her reply was to you :flower:

[SwordWomanRiona]

Don't let others and what they say bother you...when you look at your hair do YOU like it?
Does it look beautiful to you?? If your happy with it then what does it matter what others say or think for that matter ;)
You being happy is the only thing that matters

I agree 100%! :agree:

[Alexannee10]

My mother keeps saying this all the time .. :/ she says that my hair is too long and that I don't have a "real haircut" in it ..

[SwordWomanRiona]

I totally agree!!! When people tell me I have frizzy hair it makes me think violent thoughts about them.

The same happens to me - I was rather offended when someone told me that I had 'really lank hair'. I just looked at him and said, "I think you meant straight" (don't know why, but straight hair doesn't seem to be the vogue at the moment...:(). He was shocked at my reaction, he hadn't meant to offend me or anything, but I couldn't make him understand that "straight" is objective but "lank" is perojative. A lot of people tried to convince me that 'lank' isn't something bad. It put me off for the day.:justy:

[Celtic Morla]

The way I look at it people are sheep, they are led by a public relation firm's expectation of what everyone needs to be convinced to do. Long hair is presented as being outdated, anti-Women's Lib, unmodern. To consider your hair your crowning glory is supposed to demean you rather than give you a sense of pride. LH is the shackle of repression we are supposed to cut off to declare our ability to think for ourselves,instead we are constantly battling the public opinion of daring to be diffferent!

I get told all the time to dye my hair as it has greyed early. I consider it a family pride as it runs inthe family and i am the greyest of all my siblings and I am the youngest! Mnay times I have cut my hair because people nagged me into it. When I was young I had hair down to my bum and it was very white blond, everyone always commented on it. Fast forward to my twenties when I kept attempting to grow it out and it was "Oh it's too long it makes you old" which confused me because it was glorious when I was young and noone ever made that comment! Today my youngest is 14 has hair down to her tailbone an dpeople think sh eis younger because she has long hair and does not wear any makeup! Whatever!!LOL.

Sometimes when people make thoughtless comments I am so wanting to be rude back but it isn't in my makeup.So I just ignore them and say It's MY hair(or my DD hair) and I think perhaps next time someone says somethign I will ask them "If I tell you to jump off a cliff will you? When they give a shocked response I'll just say "Well yoy just gave me your opinion on my hair I just gave you another back!"

hehehehehe

[rose.grace]

Sometimes I think people look better with long hair, or better with short hair, but that is my personal opinion and I KEEP IT TO MYSELF. I am so sick of a society where everyone has to say everything that comes to mind. What happened to prudence? Consideration? Tact? Respect?

Hair is VERY personal. Instead of focusing on whether someone would look better with longer/shorter, etc. hair, I admire the variety! All the different colors, textures, styles and lengths.

Long hair is not rare, but it is less common that short hair because anyone can get their hair cut, but it takes patience to grow it long. I think that makes it an oddity to some. After quite a bit observing and personal experience, I have found that long hair intimidates some people
because they can't just "go and get it" if they like it. It has to be earned.

I truly think the motive behind a lot of this is envy, but even if you WOULD look better, who cares? I know I would look better if I wore decent clothes, but I prefer my frumpy baggy clothes. I have had comments that I should show off my figure because I have it, but it's MY body and maybe sometimes I will put on a sleek outfit, but I always choose comfort over looks. This is why I do not own high heel shoes. THEY HURT and also the reason I grew my hair long in the first place, it was just easier.

Amen! You said everything I was thinking :bottomsup:

[rose.grace]

You opened the door by asking her if she thought it looked better up or down. Most people would be too polite to add the comment about cutting it. If she's a good friend and this was a one time hair conversation, I'd say let it go and remind yourself never to bring up the subject of hair with her again.

Sorry if this is off topic but I've been wanting to tell you this all day. I LOVE your hair!

[rose.grace]

The only people who have ever told me to cut my hair are my family and I don't think they will ever give up. Am I offended? No, because long hair has too many negative connotations for them and they cannot understand why I want it and keep it. I do feel sad about it, but hey ho, my hair is not grown to please them.

I'm so glad you haven't cut it, because your hair is gorgeous!

[Emerald88]

In this instance, you did ask for the opinion, so you should take it as that - her opinion. Even though it wasn't what you were hoping to hear. As to if I get offended by comments to cut, the answer is yes. It offends me when people think it is perfectly okay to come up to me unsolicited and tell me what I should do with my hair. I don't walk up to complete strangers who have a short haircut that I feel is unflattering and force my opinion on them that they would look so much better with long hair. Or tell them to cut out a kidney & donate it because they only need one and they are completely vain & self-absorbed for not helping some poor little child in need. Et cetera. OK, rant done!

[McFearless]

Then she added that it was too long and that I should cut it. I was wondering if maybe she meant that I am too old for long hair or that it is making me look older?

Your friend never mentioned your age at all or looking old. I think that might be your own personal insecurity.

You asked your friend what she thought about your hair, and she told you. In her opinion your hair is too long, which means she prefers your hair shorter. She also likes it in updos, yeah? This is her personal preference, her style. Don't take it personally and don't assume she was trying to hurt you.

[jasper]

I have friends who have said stuff like this, or have made a "she should cut it" remark about others to me. I mean short haired friends. I try not to take it personally, because I think they are just projecting their own feelings about their own hair. It's not really about me or my hair, they just feel they wouldn't want long hair themselves.

[Tia2010]

I have friends who will suggest ,"Oh, that cut would look good on you!" or something like that , but we do that with each other with no malicious intent behind it... just a bunch of girl talk so I don't mind that at all. :D I think your friend was just giving an opinion , not trying to be hurtful.

[Juneii]

Not exactly, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I am sure they are making the suggestion not because they're jealous or ignorant but because it's what they prefer. Kinda like when we suggest someone to grow their hair longer because we think it's better.

[Cirafly24]

I was talking to a friend on facebook the other day, and I was telling her that my hair has gotten a lot longer since she last saw me, which was in April of last year. Immediately, she said "you should cut about 3-4 inches so the ends don't look scraggly"

I was like "what?!?!" she didn't even see it and assumed because it's longer, that I should cut it. Grr. I was a little put off by it. So yes, sometimes I'm offended when people suggest I cut my hair.

[Quixii]

I do tend to get offended. I like my hair and it is my choice, and I feel like they're insulting me, my hair, and my choices.

[musicallberrii]

I think she is jealous as well. I had a "friend" in high school who I asked the same question to, if my hair looked better down or up. She told me my hair was too stringy to be down and that I should cut it.. stupidly, I took her advice and cut off more than 12 inches of hair. Now its 6 years down the line and I just recently talked to her some online a couple months ago (we hadn't talked in a couple years). She told me she was growing her hair long and I told her I was doing the same. She confessed to me afterwards, that in high school she was jealous of my hair being long.

So yeah, I don't know your friend, but in my experience its just jealousy..

[JulietCapulet]

I have friends who will suggest ,"Oh, that cut would look good on you!" or something like that , but we do that with each other with no malicious intent behind it... just a bunch of girl talk so I don't mind that at all. :D I think your friend was just giving an opinion , not trying to be hurtful.

I guess you'll never really know. :-D


The way I look at it people are sheep, they are led by a public relation firm's expectation of what everyone needs to be convinced to do. Long hair is presented as being outdated, anti-Women's Lib, unmodern. To consider your hair your crowning glory is supposed to demean you rather than give you a sense of pride. LH is the shackle of repression we are supposed to cut off to declare our ability to think for ourselves,instead we are constantly battling the public opinion of daring to be diffferent!

I get told all the time to dye my hair as it has greyed early. I consider it a family pride as it runs inthe family and i am the greyest of all my siblings and I am the youngest! Mnay times I have cut my hair because people nagged me into it. When I was young I had hair down to my bum and it was very white blond, everyone always commented on it. Fast forward to my twenties when I kept attempting to grow it out and it was "Oh it's too long it makes you old" which confused me because it was glorious when I was young and noone ever made that comment! Today my youngest is 14 has hair down to her tailbone an dpeople think sh eis younger because she has long hair and does not wear any makeup! Whatever!!LOL.

Sometimes when people make thoughtless comments I am so wanting to be rude back but it isn't in my makeup.So I just ignore them and say It's MY hair(or my DD hair) and I think perhaps next time someone says somethign I will ask them "If I tell you to jump off a cliff will you? When they give a shocked response I'll just say "Well yoy just gave me your opinion on my hair I just gave you another back!"

hehehehehe

Nice comment thanks!:-D


Your hair in your avatar looks beautiful. I wouldn't even worry for a moment. Your friend is probably envious, or there's just no accounting for taste. Some people have told me over the years I should cut my hair, but I'm pretty immune to peer pressure lol. And a million times more people have begged me to never cut it! They're the ones I'm going along with haha, cause that's what I want anyway!

Thank you! :-D


Your hair is so pretty! I was just admiring it in another thread -- maybe the collection of LHC lengths one? -- and thinking that it was gorgeous. :)

I'm beginning to worry about this, too, as my hair seems to have more weight to it now that it's reached BSL+ and so it seems to have less volume and less curls. I'm still determined to grow it out, though, and I still have reservations a year or two from now, I might consider trimming a bit. I hope her comment hasn't deterred you -- your hair is really very beautiful!

That is so very sweet thanks!

[JulietCapulet]

The way I look at it people are sheep, they are led by a public relation firm's expectation of what everyone needs to be convinced to do. Long hair is presented as being outdated, anti-Women's Lib, unmodern. To consider your hair your crowning glory is supposed to demean you rather than give you a sense of pride. LH is the shackle of repression we are supposed to cut off to declare our ability to think for ourselves,instead we are constantly battling the public opinion of daring to be diffferent!

I get told all the time to dye my hair as it has greyed early. I consider it a family pride as it runs inthe family and i am the greyest of all my siblings and I am the youngest! Mnay times I have cut my hair because people nagged me into it. When I was young I had hair down to my bum and it was very white blond, everyone always commented on it. Fast forward to my twenties when I kept attempting to grow it out and it was "Oh it's too long it makes you old" which confused me because it was glorious when I was young and noone ever made that comment! Today my youngest is 14 has hair down to her tailbone an dpeople think sh eis younger because she has long hair and does not wear any makeup! Whatever!!LOL.

Sometimes when people make thoughtless comments I am so wanting to be rude back but it isn't in my makeup.So I just ignore them and say It's MY hair(or my DD hair) and I think perhaps next time someone says somethign I will ask them "If I tell you to jump off a cliff will you? When they give a shocked response I'll just say "Well yoy just gave me your opinion on my hair I just gave you another back!"

hehehehehe

Nice comment thanks!:-D

[JulietCapulet]

Your hair in your avatar looks beautiful. I wouldn't even worry for a moment. Your friend is probably envious, or there's just no accounting for taste. Some people have told me over the years I should cut my hair, but I'm pretty immune to peer pressure lol. And a million times more people have begged me to never cut it! They're the ones I'm going along with haha, cause that's what I want anyway!

Thank you! :-D

[JulietCapulet]

Your hair is so pretty! I was just admiring it in another thread -- maybe the collection of LHC lengths one? -- and thinking that it was gorgeous. :)

I'm beginning to worry about this, too, as my hair seems to have more weight to it now that it's reached BSL+ and so it seems to have less volume and less curls. I'm still determined to grow it out, though, and I still have reservations a year or two from now, I might consider trimming a bit. I hope her comment hasn't deterred you -- your hair is really very beautiful!

That is so very sweet thanks!

[Othala]

I am not offended when people tell me I should cut my hair, but I do question why they have said it. I am a little saddened perhaps.

[Maverick494]

I'm never offended. I just give them a crooked smile because most girls/women who say that are the same ones talking about getting hair extensions ;)

[Little_Bird]

Yes I am. Simply because everyone knows I love it long, so they are disrespecting. I'm not going around telling everyone to grow their hair.

The "you look older" argument always sounds silly to me too. There are tons of older women who look gorgeous and tons of young girls who look terrible. It's up to what you see in people and what you think it's beautyfull. What I you want to look older? What if you actually like the way older women look?

I personally love grey hair :)

Don't let the coments hurt you though, or make you self conscious. The only think you have to know is wether you love your long hair or not. If you do, that's all it should take for you to be happy about it :flower:

And, as a matter of fact, what is more youthfull than a long luxurious, shiny beautyfull head of hair? :D

[Speckla]

I am not offended when people tell me I should cut my hair, but I do question why they have said it. I am a little saddened perhaps.

Why would you cut that gorgeous hair? I'd say, "Why? I'm sitting on a fortune. Do you know how much an ounce of silver goes for?" :cheese:

[Speckla]

double post

[Ravenwaves 88]

It's one thing when a stranger or aquaintence says something....it's more easily dismissable. I think the anger or discomfort comes when ppl that you care about or consider a friend. Why would they do that KNOWING that you love your hair and obvioously don't care what the general public thinks. Do they think it's like a drug addiction and since we aren't geting the message that a "friend" might be able to successfully intervene. I keep hearing from this guy that I should "keep it that length". I called him out on this as the last time he told me that line I was a few inches shorter so I said "thats what you said last time and I'm longer now" I guess to non LHCers this inch or so difference isn't noticeable.

He also asked me "what would you do if I cut your hair?" :angry:

HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT? I was shocked! I can't even remember what I said but it accompanied a dirty look.

[mizk5110]

The only time I can remember someone telling me I should cut was a couple weeks ago when dealing with a very confused patient. My hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, and he grabbed my hand and told me my hair was way too long, I should cut it, and if I came in his room with hair like that again he would cut it for me! Needless to say, I was more than a little shocked - and bunned the next day since I knew I would have him again. My hair is just barely past BSL, so I was double shocked that someone in their 80's would tell me it was too long. I can only guess that people who say stuff like that have no mental filter and just say whatever pops into their head all the time.

[Marchpane]

A lot of people apparently don't like my hair. :\ I get comments from friends and family members that I should cut it, or straighten it. If it looks a little straighter sometimes or I've brushed the curls out and they settled, people usually comment and say it's better than curly. Oh well.

I usually don't mind too much; I don't like hearing those comments of course, but it usually only bothers me when it's a guy haha. (typical vanity :P) I always wish guys would appreciate long hair as a sort of romantic thing, but usually they say I should cut it. Including my bf, who has in insensitive moments remarked that he "hates my hair"... :( At least there's this forum, otherwise I bet a lot of us would've given up a long time ago!!

ETA: Lol I've made my bf sound horrible (not that it really matters lol cause nobody knows him) but in the interest of fairness, he said those things some time ago; and I asked him tonight if he thought I should cut it, and he said "No! It looks good, I like it." :)

[jaine]

I am not yet at the length where people start recommending that I get a haircut ... but I feel worse for the guys, because they get to that length after only a couple of inches! At least women usually have a few years to grow in peace before people start recommending haircuts. :)

[Maverick494]

The only time I can remember someone telling me I should cut was a couple weeks ago when dealing with a very confused patient. My hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, and he grabbed my hand and told me my hair was way too long, I should cut it, and if I came in his room with hair like that again he would cut it for me! Needless to say, I was more than a little shocked - and bunned the next day since I knew I would have him again. My hair is just barely past BSL, so I was double shocked that someone in their 80's would tell me it was too long. I can only guess that people who say stuff like that have no mental filter and just say whatever pops into their head all the time.


Woah that's just....wrong! But I guess if you've got a couple of wires crossed in your head someone with 2 eyes could get scolded for not having 3.


He also asked me "what would you do if I cut your hair?"

HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT?

What I usually do is tell them that if they do that they will find their car to be 'mysteriously' ruined the next day. If that's too much for you you can atleast promise to throw a solid punch in his face. :D

[chopandchange]

It hurts when they say it, but there's no point in being offended or getting in an argument.

The world is full of different people with different beliefs, and you're never going to succeed in turning them into clones of you who approve of your every decision!

I am different. And I just keep on being "me" no matter what they say.

[Anywhere]

I would be unless I asked for their opinion. Quite frankly if I didn't ask for their opinion I would prefer them to keep their mouth shut.

[MandyBeth]

DH gets this, or brush your hair. He cuts it to a buzz, then he gets skinhead comments. His hair starts to loc at 1/2 inch. He can't win.

[PiroskaCicu]

I sometimes get offended. For instance, when my hair was about waist length at age 16, I got the worst comments. My art teacher said I needed to cut it because it was "too long", "looks like a hippy", and "old fashioned".....he was so rude for a teacher. But whatever, I enjoy being a "hippy" :P
My best friend said I'd look much better with "short bleached blonde hair" ?!?!
One person said after I'd cut it , that I looked like Cousin It before!

I've had my fair share of comments
However I really consider these people to have no respect or tact. Just ignore it or respond in a way that shows you don't appreciate the comment!

[Rabya-Khadija]

I've never had anybody say it, but I know a lot of people with short hair who really want it long so maybe that's why. I don't think I'd be offended, not sure though!

[ibleedlipstick]

Not usually. I tend to take it as friendly advice, instead of as a personal affront. Everyone has their personal preference, and someone telling me that I would look better with messy fringe doesn't bother me.

However, I don't like it when it becomes insulting. If you think I would look better blonde, and tell me that once, that is fine. If it gets to the point of where you can't see me without saying that the black hair makes me look pasty, or that having layers without fringe makes my face look fat, I will probably be offended.

It just depends on the way it is done.

[xoxophelia]

Your hair is so beautiful :)

I hope you don't cut it. My guess is that it is jealousy. Even "best" friends can try to tear you down to size every now and then in sublte ways.

[2vette2camaro]

If someone were to tell me to cut my hair I would know it would be out of jealousy because long hair makes women stand out in a crowd, therefore getting more attention. So yes, it would offend me

[Freki]

My husband is constantly teasing me about cutting my hair. He prefers short hair on women. But it general it's good natured and he respects my desire to have my hair long. Other than that, thankfully, I haven't received many comments that I should cut my hair. But I wouldn't be offended, just amused.

[Celtic Morla]

Pretty funny memory just came to me. Years ago when I was in HS we went to Williamsburg to sing int he Church there. While we were taking the tour of the village we wer ein the wig makers and th ewoman was talking about different hair-she loooked straight at me and offered to pay me $200 for my hair( it was still very blond) and said she'd make sure th eshort pixie would look good. I said No Thanks! AT thta point my hair was probably about lower rib and my choimates kept telling em the whole time I should cut it and sell it!! Talk about annoying!LOL

[Fairlight63]

That is the same with me, the only one that tells me that I should cut my hair is my husband, for the same reason, he likes short hair.
He hasn't told me that I should cut my hair in a long time, I guess that he has given up on me cutting.
But, yes it hurts my feeling when or if someone tells me that I should cut my hair, makes me wonder if I don't look as good with long hair as short. But then I think back to what I looked like with short hair & I didn't like the way that I looked back then either. So I will keep it long.

[AspenSong]

It doesn't offend me. I've finally come to realize, it's my hair and to heck with everyone else! I dealt with a friend for Years who everytime I got my hair longer, she'd coax me to hack it off because it didn't look good for whatever reason.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter to me because it's just them expressing their own opinion, The same as if I told someone they've got beautiful hair that would be pretty long. *shrug*
If someone doesn't like it, they can just not look at it. It's on my head, not theirs. lol.

[jujube]

I'm annoyed by every comment that starts with "you should" unless I asked for advice.

[UltraBella]

No one has ever told me I should cut my hair. I don't know if it would offend me or not..........

[Bene]

I wouldn't be offended if I asked for an opinion and then got a response that I didn't agree with :shrug:


As for an unsolicited opinion, I'd be more offended that someone would think it's okay to tell me what to do with my body.

[CarpeDM]

People have been telling me all my life to cut my hair, I don't take it personally, what matters most is how I feel about it. :lala:

[feralnature]

I get the opposite reaction. People tell me they love my long hair, especially with the white streak on the side. That they wish they had long hair. Even if someone said they hated it, I would just smile.

[Malibu Barbie]

I've mostly had family members(my mother and brother) complain, I need to cut my hair. They say its not right for women over forty to sport long hair. Well, I just tell them Its my hair and I'll do what I want!!

[Venefica]

There are a few things in this life which everyone seam to think they have the right to comment on and stick their noses into when it comes to others. I mean I am not the best homemaker but it would be considered rude to comment on it. Most things unless you ask for advice first or the person you are talking with are a really good friend is like this. However two things everyone have an opinion on are people's weight. If you are overweight random strangers enjoy telling you that you are lazy, ugly or that you will die before 40, if you are to thin everyone asks if you eat enough and so on. The other thing everyone have an opinion on is hair length, especially on long hair. It seams that allot of people see red like a bull seeing a matador flag and wand that long hair cut.

I am told left and right, what is the point of that long hair, go cut your hair and so on, and my hair is not THAT long yet, it is almost to my butt, the longer the hair the more people feel it is their right to get involved in how you keep it. Shoulder length, fine, mid back, fine any longer and people becomes zombies but instead of saying brains they moan: "Cut...cut...cuuuuuuuuuuuut."

I do not get offended if someone say I should cut my hair, but I get a bit puzzled, why do it matter to people how long hair I have? The whole thing seam very odd to me, is it not my choice? It is like the longer hair get the more eager people are to see it chopped off. I have not come up with any better explanation than my zombie theory.

[Chamy]

Oh honey, dont listen to what others think! There is a reason that everyone doesnt look the same here in the world, we all like different things. Just because one person think that you should cut doesnt mean you should do it, or even think about it another second. If i listened to everyones advice given to me, i would look like a freak, and all my hair would probably be breaking off at an inch short.

[Chamy]

Oh, and i forgot to add, your hair is beautiful. :)

[Venefica]

I've mostly had family members(my mother and brother) complain, I need to cut my hair. They say its not right for women over forty to sport long hair. Well, I just tell them Its my hair and I'll do what I want!!

I have heard this often from women over 40 that they would like to have long hair but that for some reason they think it is not right or that they would look old with long hair. I do not understand why, there is no age limit on long hair!

[Malibu Barbie]

I have heard this often from women over 40 that they would like to have long hair but that for some reason they think it is not right or that they would look old with long hair. I do not understand why, there is no age limit on long hair!

I know I think its lame. Age is only a number and if it looks nice who cares!!

[bluesnowflake]

It used to bother me, but I've stopped letting it get to me. My hair is my hair, and I'll do what I please with it.

[SwordWomanRiona]

There are a few things in this life which everyone seam to think they have the right to comment on and stick their noses into when it comes to others. I mean I am not the best homemaker but it would be considered rude to comment on it. Most things unless you ask for advice first or the person you are talking with are a really good friend is like this. However two things everyone have an opinion on are people's weight. If you are overweight random strangers enjoy telling you that you are lazy, ugly or that you will die before 40, if you are to thin everyone asks if you eat enough and so on. The other thing everyone have an opinion on is hair length, especially on long hair. It seams that allot of people see red like a bull seeing a matador flag and wand that long hair cut.

I am told left and right, what is the point of that long hair, go cut your hair and so on, and my hair is not THAT long yet, it is almost to my butt, the longer the hair the more people feel it is their right to get involved in how you keep it. Shoulder length, fine, mid back, fine any longer and people becomes zombies but instead of saying brains they moan: "Cut...cut...cuuuuuuuuuuuut."

I do not get offended if someone say I should cut my hair, but I get a bit puzzled, why do it matter to people how long hair I have? The whole thing seam very odd to me, is it not my choice? It is like the longer hair get the more eager people are to see it chopped off. I have not come up with any better explanation than my zombie theory.

The same happens to me!! I'm a bit of a 'phenomenon' over here because I think I'm the one with the longest hair in the vicinity - everyone coments on it, and TOO many tell/advise/urge me to cut! :mad:
Your theory is interesting (:D) - mine is that conventional people who can't think by themselves but follow the latest trend because it's the latest trend cannot stand anyone who doesn't. Seeing as tailbone-classic length hair is not the latest trend, they are scandalized (:mad: again).

And my conclusion is: These people are SO narrow-minded. And thoughtless.

[SwordWomanRiona]

I've mostly had family members(my mother and brother) complain, I need to cut my hair. They say its not right for women over forty to sport long hair. Well, I just tell them Its my hair and I'll do what I want!!

That's stupid!! Long hair is not associated with age, for heaven's sake! No one here needs me telling them this, I'm sure, but I've seen a good number of women (and men) over forty with long hair, and they look great. But it isn't a question of "I like it, so it's fine". Everyone should be free to do what they wanted with their appearance without any pressure from society! Don't let thoughtless conventional ideas like these crush you! Your hair is yours to do with it what you wish!

:steamImpassioned over here...These issues always get on my nose...

[LaurelSpring]

The majority of people just dont "get" it. I dont hold it against them that they are totally media brain washed or opinionated. I use to be that way too!

I have my usual answer to the cutting question which is...maybe one day but not today.... and then I dont give it another thought. My long hair is my choice and I realize that its not what other people may like but...too bad.

[Avvoltoio]

i was told by many people, mostly by my mother, but i don't care cause i know they like short hair on everybody, so i see that comments as good sign: my hair is growing and it is noticeable :)

[Haldir]

I know it's not a personal attack or insult for people to recommend a haircut, but I actually do feel rather insulted whenever someone says it to me. Not too sure why. I'm very protective of my hair. ;)

[Dark Queen]

I guess I've never been really offended by it, maybe slightly annoyed, but I tend to ask people to clarify such statements and most of the time they just have the impression that you can do more with short hair (so not true for me). I don' t take it personally.

As for hair being associated with age, I think that's just crap. Personally I love silver hair when it's long (soooo pretty!!!) I don't intend to cover up my grays :)

[Aliped]

Do you feel this way if anyone has ever told you you should cut it? Thanks:-)

All the time, but I just shrug it off. I just think its tactless for somebody to tell you to cut your hair. If they are not bothered about offending you, should they be trusted to give you the best advice??

[silverleaf79]

There was a kid in my English class at school back in the mid 90s who was growing his hair out - it was getting on for chin length and he wore it parted in the middle so it kind of hung forwards. Our English teacher was always complaining about it because she couldn't see his face. Eventually she threatened to take a pair of scissors to it if he didn't get it out of his face and the next day he came in with it cut short. She was joking but she was the type that always sounded serious so I guess he just got so intimidated that he gave in.

I want to echo what everyone else says - it's your hair and if you want it long then that's your choice. It takes so long to grow, it's not like buying a new handbag, so don't let anyone influence you with their rudeness.

[Venefica]

I think that it might be something in the theory that many people are so brain washed by fashion. I see so many who do not care about what they like when it comes to how they look, or if it looks good on them, the only thing which matters is whatever or not some fashion designer in Paris have said that it is fashionable to look this or that way this year.

I also think that many people think that long hair is very difficult to maintain and tend. I however find that I have less problems with long hair than I did with short.

[LadyG]

I have decided to grow my hair out, and this fall, someone at work complained that my hair was stringy/unprofessional. Yea, I'm in my 50's and you want me to cut my hair. Not going to happen. I will pin it up, while watching all the others with hair longer than mine with it hanging down, and not getting told to put it up. Double standard? Yes. Am I going to allow them to force me to cut my hair so I conform to their "old age stereotype"? No. I just smile, and think to myself, this is me, and it's not changing.

[AnnaVeirs]

I had a boss who once told me (all in one sentence, mind): "Your hair is so beautiful, why don't you cut it off and donate it?"
Which is a bizarre thing to say.
But lots of people see long hair as something selfish. I remarked that a coworker that her hair was getting longer, and she said, "Yeah, but I'm going to donate it" and gave me a dirty look.
Oh well. They'd be surprised to know that only a tiny bit of donated hair is actually suitable for wigs at Locks of Love.

[SwordWomanRiona]

I have decided to grow my hair out, and this fall, someone at work complained that my hair was stringy/unprofessional. Yea, I'm in my 50's and you want me to cut my hair. Not going to happen. I will pin it up, while watching all the others with hair longer than mine with it hanging down, and not getting told to put it up. Double standard? Yes. Am I going to allow them to force me to cut my hair so I conform to their "old age stereotype"? No. I just smile, and think to myself, this is me, and it's not changing.

Well done! Assert youself!:applause

[Venefica]

First off all my hat off to you LadyG. I love seeing long hair on older woman, and you should definitely do with your hair as you please. Good luck.

I wonder if those that think anyone with hair longer than their shoulder should donate it realize that people who for some reason or another is bald is just a percentage of those who buy wigs, quite a few are bought by people who just want to change things up a little bit.

[noelgirl]

There are a few things in this life which everyone seam to think they have the right to comment on and stick their noses into when it comes to others. I mean I am not the best homemaker but it would be considered rude to comment on it. Most things unless you ask for advice first or the person you are talking with are a really good friend is like this. However two things everyone have an opinion on are people's weight. If you are overweight random strangers enjoy telling you that you are lazy, ugly or that you will die before 40, if you are to thin everyone asks if you eat enough and so on. The other thing everyone have an opinion on is hair length, especially on long hair. It seams that allot of people see red like a bull seeing a matador flag and wand that long hair cut.

You are so right about weight being an area regarded as being for public consumption. I've been losing weight lately (haven't been making an effort to do so per se, but I don't really mind either), and while people commenting for the most part seem to mean it as a compliment, it's an awkward conversation for me because there's just something intimate about what happens to my body, so it seems odd to have external value placed on it.

As for hair comments, the ones that get me are the ones that seem to be spreading the news that there's this newfangled thing called a haircut, and maybe I haven't heard of it yet? As if I couldn't have possibly chosen long hair for myself, and I'm just some feral child who needs to be taught the ways of the world. Arguably, I might not have much intelligence to insult, but that one manages to do it.

[JulietCapulet]

I had a boss who once told me (all in one sentence, mind): "Your hair is so beautiful, why don't you cut it off and donate it?"
Which is a bizarre thing to say.
But lots of people see long hair as something selfish. I remarked that a coworker that her hair was getting longer, and she said, "Yeah, but I'm going to donate it" and gave me a dirty look.
Oh well. They'd be surprised to know that only a tiny bit of donated hair is actually suitable for wigs at Locks of Love.

Ugh that is so annoying....:mad: What is wrong with these people?

[SwordWomanRiona]

Ugh that is so annoying....:mad: What is wrong with these people?

I agree! Lucky no one has ever told me such things!

[Lil Red Vampire]

My mother is the only person that tells me to "cut off all that hair"....everyone else tells me to never cut it...including my stylist!! If my hair were unhealthy, I would cut it in a heart beat and start over...but it is always going to be long...

[LisaButz2001]

I don't get offended. surprised or hurt might be better adjectives.

[LittleOrca]

I try not to let it bother me, but my fieldwork supervisor told me I had great hair, then that I should chop it and give it away. I didn't bother me at first, but later on when I got home, I was pretty upset.

[Mesmerise]

I try not to let it bother me, but my fieldwork supervisor told me I had great hair, then that I should chop it and give it away. I didn't bother me at first, but later on when I got home, I was pretty upset.

Wow...you know if all long haired people should "chop off their hair to give it away" then maybe EVERYONE should be forced to grow their hair for just this purpose? Geez... I mean... I respect people who cut off their hair to give it for a good cause, but it shouldn't be something you are obliged to do JUST because you had the patience to grow hair far beyond that of most people!

Those comments really annoy me! If anyone ever says that to me I'll suggest to them that they can grow their own hair and give it away :p.

[McFearless]

I have decided to grow my hair out, and this fall, someone at work complained that my hair was stringy/unprofessional. Yea, I'm in my 50's and you want me to cut my hair. Not going to happen. I will pin it up, while watching all the others with hair longer than mine with it hanging down, and not getting told to put it up. Double standard? Yes. Am I going to allow them to force me to cut my hair so I conform to their "old age stereotype"? No. I just smile, and think to myself, this is me, and it's not changing.


I love your attitude. People should take note of it.

- Oh you don't like my hair? *shrug* I don't like your face but chya don't see me complainin' :)

[Hylia]

When I used to have waist length hair, my grandmother hated it and always told me to cut it. But I never took it to heart, it is just another interpretation of beauty, she has always had short hair and used to make my mom cut it under chin length.

[Debra83]

Offended? No. Irritated? Yes, some times.

I guess its one of those things people just must comment on. Its like as soon as you have any feature that sets you outside the “norm”, people feel it’s their right to comment on it (And sometimes they feel it’s their right to comment on this that doesn’t fit in their own personal taste as well)

Its one of those irritating that’s that just seems to belong to the human race. You can’t change what people think or say, but you can adjust your own reaction to it.

For instance: As a skinny (ish) girl with big boobs, people seem to think they have a right to comment on them. “You have big boobs for a skinny girl, doesn’t it ever bother you?” Well duh, of course some times they bother me. They’re big boobs. But it bothers me more when people without brain-to-mouth-filter comments on them :rolleyes: I cant keep people from staring at my chest, even if I wore a burqa. I can’t smack people for being so rude that they feel the need to comment on something obvious about my body. But I can chose not to be angry about it.

If I had to adjust everything about myself for every stupid “advice” or comment I received, there would be nothing left that would be me. I don’t wear the right clothes, I don’t wear makeup like I should, I don’t have the right boobies, I don’t have the right tan, I don’t use the right bank, I don’t go on the vacation that I should…. Whatever!

You can’t change when people have no brain-to-mouth-filter. But you can develop an ear-to-brain-filter when people feel the need to push their unwelcome opinions on you. And you can develop a little guy in your brain that calls out what you want to do with yourself and your body if your ear-to-brain-filter should fail


My mom, who would never and has never hurt me in any way tells me all the time to cut it. She throws out 6 inches as a suggestion though she has no idea what kind of commitment 6 inches takes. Her hair seems to grow like a weed, so she has to cut it a lot to keep it shoulder length.

She doesn't know that it hurts me and I have no reason to tell her - all she really means is since I don't have thick hair it doesn't look as good long as it would...

Moral: ignore it. Sometimes they mean well, sometimes they are jealous and other times they have no idea they are saying something that makes you feel some type of way.


It's her opinion. She doesn't have to be envious, or jealous, or mean. It's her opinion. You asked for an opinion, but no one said that you then have to slavishly obey it. Acknowledge it, don't let it hurt you, and move on.

Well said everyone!


Yes, I would be offended, but I get easily offended :wink:

I think I am more offended when people suggest I get a trim or cut or whatever to my hair than I would be if they said that about my "nails" for example. I'm on a hair forum, not a nail forum, so my "hair" is closer to my heart and more of an "obsessive" part of my being for some reason.

[rosek]

I do get offended, but only if it's from a stranger or aquaintence. I don't enjoy unsolicited advice from unknowns, especially about my appearance.

[Zoui]

"My mother is the only person that tells me to "cut off all that hair"....everyone else tells me to never cut it...including my stylist!!"

My mother does the same to me. I think it is because to her subconsciousness my long hair represents anarchy and loss of self-control. She has always had short hair and isn't as relaxed as i am.

[stefafra]

I get angry if this happens, it's my own business, not the one of my mother, my aunts or my school friend that has had the same hairdo (pixy-ish) since I know her, and it must be 20 years or so.
Mind your own hair, I don't tell you what to do, so why should you tell me?

[krissykins]

I'm not offended, per say, but I do get irritated. Especially by the "your hair is pretty--you should cut it!" comments.

[Mesmerise]

Next time someone suggests I cut my hair I'll say, "Well, thanks for the idea. Maybe you should grow yours, it'd look a lot nicer!"

:D

Not sure why people feel the need to comment on your hair if it's long?? I think in part it's probably jealousy... especially when it's said to those with super gorgeous locks!!

[Lil Red Vampire]

Next time someone suggests I cut my hair I'll say, "Well, thanks for the idea. Maybe you should grow yours, it'd look a lot nicer!"

:D

Not sure why people feel the need to comment on your hair if it's long?? I think in part it's probably jealousy... especially when it's said to those with super gorgeous locks!!


Oh I love this, I will have to use that line on someone...

[LisaMonster]

Everyone I know likes my hair?

My friends are nice to each other... we support each other...

[Henrietta]

I'd say that when it comes to hair we can divide people into two groups. Some people are growing their hair and some of them are maintaining it at a certain length. Where I live, BSL is the most popular length for people who want to have a hair that can be put up and is easy to maintain.
Maybe your friend thought that you are going to keep your hair at one length? And that your current length is already too long and hard to manage?
Sometimes people are simply jealous because they are like "Oh, yeah, I want to grow my hair but I go to hairdresser to trim my ends every month and I end up with 3 inches chop".

It is hard. And emotional. Personally, few months ago I cried when two of my friends said that knee length hair is weird, looks bad etc. (Knee was my goal then.) I think we often do a mistake of sharing our "hairy;)" passion with people who do not understand it. After some time we all learn that there's no point in talking about hair with people who are not interested in it, who are just "wash and go" and don't distinguish brushing from combing.

Hugs, Juliet :flower: Enjoy your hair and try not to take to your heart what people say. Sometimes they don't understand, sometimes they are mean on purpose because they are jealous etc.

[Sanyia]

I do not, I realize a lot of people are really rude and they have no idea what manners are.

I work at a restaurant. When I suggest an ingredient, so many times people say LOUDLY IN HEARING RANGE OF OTHER CUSTOMERS "I don't want any of that, that's NASTY!" If I said something like that when I was little my mom would have grounded me for a week.

Apparently, even for grown ups it's A-OK to be rude like that. (I did not offer live snails, by the way, just to add a pinch of freshly chopped cilantro to their dish. Their loss!)

For those in Europe, Cilantro looks like Italian parsley, but has a different flavor.

[jackiesjottings]

I haven't had this recently but I did in the past, two girls at work were forever asking when I was going to cut my hair. It used to upset me. But then one day I turned round and said "I have my hair long because I like my hair long and because I want my hair long". They shut up and the subject was never mentioned again.

I am now 50 with classic length and if anyone says I am too old to have long hair I will look them in the eye and say "why"?

[veganstein]

I haven't had too many people say this, and never more than once. I give them what DH calls "That Look" and they find something else to talk about.:cool:

[Bonkers57]

I really don't know because my hair's never been long enough for people to say that. But I'm working on it! I imagine I'd say 'whatever' or something like that and go about my business.

[BrightEyes7]

I've had people say that... but I just ignore them. I didn't ask for their opinion so I don't care. My mom has told me not to let it get too long (I think she means anything past waist) but i don't care. I'm gonna keep growing.

I mean a lot of times I look at other peoples' hair and I don't think it looks nice at all, you know all those short choppy looks or the heavy layers teased into a skyscrapper. But to each their own. I like mine long and healthy, they like theirs short and processed/damaged. Take each comment with a grain of salt.

[QMacrocarpa]

My hair's still too short to attract "you should cut your hair" comments, since my mother knows it's no use;). Anyway, I guess I want to chime in because I've received random remarks about other aspects of my appearance (the way I look when I'm whistling, for instance), which made me feel really self-conscious, sometimes for years, and in hindsight I think the people making the comments had no intention of actually changing me or making me feel bad; from their point of view, they were just being chatty and friendly. I think it's a mistake to consider changing anything about yourself based on someone else's ill-thought-out blurtings. Obviously, it's your hair, and you get to decide what to do with it, but I think often the remarks should just be interpreted as the result of random neurons firing in the commenter's head, and not a serious attempt to persuade you to do anything different. I'm sure the friend who remarked on my "whistling-face" had no intention of making me stop whistling while walking across campus lo these many years ago...:whistle::rolleyes:

[RavennaNight]

I used to get the "you should cut" suggestions when it was at an awkward, gawky length--APL. Oy! My head looked like a triangle! And I used to get the locks of love thing a lot then too. Now that it's longer, I get compliments, and haven't been told to cut in a long time. Who knows. Maybe I just jinxed myself by posting this and I will go out and have an annoying person pester me about it.:shrug:

[utdesertrunner]

Your hair is beautiful! And in the end, I think it is how you feel that matters the most!

[AnnaJamila]

Your hair is beautimus! She's not the one taking care of it or anything so too badda you Freddie. Just smile politely and change the subject!

[squiggyflop]

am i the only one who never gets told to cut my hair? no one ever says anything bad about my hair, or says its too long.. i think my hair has reached a length where people usually pester other people to cut.. maybe its the red.. people like red..

[Lianna]

I get a little offended when people tell me to grow it out...like I'm not pretty enough with shorter hair. I'm prettier with it long, but still...

[TheMechaGinger]

I get offended by comments like pretty easily as well, though I try not to show it. I have an aunt that feels like she's only doing you a favor by critiquing in the meanest way possible, she used to always tell me I was too chubby to have long hair and after I lost weight she told me my hair was too thin to be long and that i should bob it like hers. Little comments like those make it hard for me to be around her sometimes. It probably doesn't help that I'm a bit of a sensitive pansy to begin with, but I've learned to get over it because, simply state, it's my hair and I'll do what I want with it. I don't think it's anyones place to make comments like that, if someone really likes having long hair then more power to them
Also, yours is beautiful!

[Mesmerise]

Now I'm thinking about it, I've had more negative comments about having my hair cut than having it long. Once a guy at uni asked me "why did you cut your hair? You were absolutely stunning with long hair!" And other times I had people asked me why I cut it when it was short!

Another time I had short hair with hair extensions and this old guy who actually preferred short hair told me that I looked better with long hair, even though most women (according to him) look better with short hair!

I guess I am meant to be long haired ;) I don't think it's ever been sooo long though that people are negative about the length.

[Copasetic]

I have had a few people tell me I should cut my hair, and I really couldn't care less. They are entitled to think that a different look would suit me better. I still do what I want.

[gypsymoth]

Don't cut your hair! I can tell it's very beautiful. I can't say whether your friend is envious or not, although I wouldn't be surprised.

You obviously appreciate your hair and, being a member of LHC, I'm sure you know how beautiful long, healthy hair can be. I don't think a lot of other people really recognize how being able to take care of long hair takes work and patience, and can be incredibly difficult to do.

[mystgirl]

It's always offensive when someone (helpfully of course) points out something "wrong" about ourselves. But the hair issue may be more complicated than it appears. I don't necessarily believe that it is jealousy, or even someone making an objective judgement about our appearance, even though they think they are. I think that humans have an unconscious primal reaction to hair. The world has thousands of years of history documenting beliefs regarding human hair.

A Samurai's top-knot represented the soul of a Samurai. He may have cut his own off as a gesture of defeat, that is if the defeat was not severe enough to require Seppuku. But for another to cut if off marked ultimate disrespect. In the 1800's as part of his program to modernize Japan, the Emperor ordered all Samurai to cut their hair. Many would have preferred death. Some chose it.

Many Native American cultures have historically believed that the length of the hair indicated the strength of the spirit. In some tribes, the women were not allowed to grow their hair longer than the men in order to restrict their power.

In many cultures the world over hair has been believed to have power, and therefore the cutting of the hair was a very serious, ritualistic practice. As was the subsequent disposal.

These are only a few examples of course, but in our modern world it is no different. In the 1920's, women bobbed their hair as a statement of their newly-seized freedom. In the 70's, men and women grew their hair long and refused to style it as a political statement. As punks took the opposite approach and chose to appear as outlandish as possible with their Kool-aid colored mohawks and spikes.

In our present day, very long hair can provoke several seemingly conflicting reactions. On the one hand, it it seen as disturbingly old-fashioned. As something that is a thowback to the centuries of oppression, and unsuited to the modern, independent, emancipated woman. Indeed, any rational modern woman would pay thousands of dollars to a hairdresser for hair extentions. Why would anyone spend years of their lives growing out, and meticulously caring for their own hair? Long hair, short hair, this color, then that, perms, straightening treatments, whenever the whim strikes. Flagrant hair abuse is certainly the modern woman's modus operandi.

On the other hand, very long hair can also be seen as subversive, which would seem to be the opposite of "old-fashioned". Long hair on a man is nearly always seen as subversive, as are shaved heads on women. But once a woman's hair becomes very long, rather than just "long", it is visible evidence of her refusal to be molded by society. In short, other people are disturbed by her obvious individualism.

This is then complicated by the many religions the world over which prohibit the cutting of the hair, or otherwise dictate how it is to be worn as a symbol of one's faith. People in general seem to be easily disturbed by any visible signs of other people's religious beliefs.

I believe all of this culminates in a subconscious discomfort when confronted with a living, breathing example of very long hair. If they were asked to explain their suggestion that you cut your hair, they would most likely not be able to provide a logical argument.

In short, I believe that hair is indeed imbued with power. At the very least, the power to create deep, primal reactions in other people. And, frankly, that's pretty cool. If you want to cut your hair, cut it. But don't ever let anyone dictate to you what length is acceptable, and what is not.

As I write this, my own hair is barely brushing my shoulders thanks to a regrettable decision on my part to get a crown weave to brighten up my newly darkened, ashy blonde after my second pregnancy. My hair had always been a gorgeous pale, cool blonde, and now it's, well, ick. Not only did I feel unattractive, but everyone kept making comments about how much they missed my old color, and how they didn't recognize me anymore, and how I didn't have to just accept it when I could go to the salon to get it "fixed", as if I were somehow broken? They all gave me the impression that they saw me as less than I had been before. So, long story short, after a couple of years of pressure, I caved, and fried my hair and scalp to the point where I can no longer use any chemicals on my scalp (like shampoo and conditioner), I've lost at least 50% of my hair because it started just falling out by the roots in handfulls, and what is left turned to tumbleweeds. All my thick, beautiful waves became nothing but frizz. So my tailbone length hair is all gone, as I attempt to repair the damage and begin again. And I, for one feel the loss of it's power keenly.

[Capybara]

No. It's just a sign that it's getting longer than what is considered normal :) It's my hair, they're allowed to have an opinion on what it should look like but I'm the one who ultimately gets to decide.

[Lara1]

Your hair is gorgeous! Last week someone at work suggested that I should cut my hair because it is old fashion. I said that I like it the way it is, but the person didn't stop, she continue to convince me to cut it, she said that she doesn't like my hair. My answer was "Well I don't like your short hair."
She ruined my whole day, I still feel really bad after her rude comments. I don't understand why people want to make negative comments, especially when they not asked for their opinion.

[Sanyia]

Your hair is gorgeous! Last week someone at work suggested that I should cut my hair because it is old fashion. I said that I like it the way it is, but the person didn't stop, she continue to convince me to cut it, she said that she doesn't like my hair. My answer was "Well I don't like that your short hair."
She ruined my whole day, I still feel really bad after her rude comments. I don't understand why people want to make negative comments, especially when they not asked for their opinion.

That's awful. It's like these people think they are stars in their own movie, and the rest of the world is not human beings, but just walk ins whose dignity and opinions don't matter. And when you turn around their offensive criticism and say something like "I don't like you, either", then, they scream bloody murder and call you rude. :confused:

[JulietCapulet]

That's awful. It's like these people think they are stars in their own movie, and the rest of the world is not human beings, but just walk ins whose dignity and opinions don't matter. And when you turn around their offensive criticism and say something like "I don't like you, either", then, they scream bloody murder and call you rude. :confused:

I know, I agree. People like that are a burden to society lol.