Help! Combing and brushing too much!

[linnepinne]

Right, so i made myself a promise not to trim til christmas. I'm doing ok so far, though i feel like my hair is that kind that needs regular microtrims to keep it looking healthy. Anyway, i thought i would give this not-trimming-for-a-while a chance. If i make it to chrismas it will be 6 months without trimming, a new personal record!

But now for my problem: i can't seem to leave my hair alone! I get obsessed with keeping my hair tangle free (because my ends are starting to get scraggly) so i tend to comb and brush maaaaaany times a day. Like, as soon as i get a moment to myself, i comb and redo my updo. And evenings alone on my sofa is murder for my hair. I just cant leave it alone! And i brush and comb, brush and comb. I put oil in it, even though i'm not suppose to, because i just washed it the day before, so i have to wash it again the next day. I comb some more, and my hair snags in the comb all the time, wich stresses me out. I braid it, and a second later i undo the braids, comb some more and do something else... I can do this all night.

Although i realize this probably causes more stress to my ends than i want, i can't seem to stop!
Has anyone of you experienced this obsession with combing? Any tips on how to quit this very disturbing and habit?
Feels like i'm "babying" my hair to death! I really need your help with this, i feel scared that i won't be able to grow my hair long at all :(

TIA!!

[Dragon]

I experienced this when I gave up my brush. Dont have any advice. I diddent continue this habbit long as I got to lasy to comb it. My hair is always down and I only comb it twice to three times a day most days now.

[RadiantNeedle]

Perhaps a scarf or hat or something similar will help you leave it alone? A buff maybe?

[Hotrox]

For me, my bad habit was skin picking, and I stopped using a distraction and reward technique!

Try and remove yourself from activities where you know that the brushing combing will start. If sitting down on the sofa watch TV is a flash point, try a different activity for a few nights such as reading, or going out. If you are going to sit on the sofa don't bring a brush or comb with you.

Then give yourself little targets and rewards if you don't play with you hair.

For example, if you can go one evening without playing then tomorrow you will treat yourself to a :insert a preferred activity / food item: Then set up a bigger reward if you can go 2 nights, 3 etc.

Hopefully this will help to break the habit. And the ultimate reward will be healthy, Looooong hair :D

Good luck

[Phexlyn]

Hmm, that might not be much help, but try to put your hair up and leave it alone. Maybe a complicated updo that you're really proud of will help because then you're less likely to ruin your hairstyle? You need to find something you can be satisfied with all day.

Hope you find a solution soon :flower:

[Othala]

Take up knitting or crochet perhaps?

Otherwise, how about smothering your hair with deep conditioner every night and putting a plastic cap over it. That way you are pampering it without handling it all the time.

[torrilin]

About the only kind of touching that I count as babying my hair is the stuff necessary to put it up, wash it or put in conditioner. Combing and brushing are for getting out shed hair and detangling (and over the last month, I'm finding I need my brush less for shed hair, which is very nice).

I've gotten pretty good at destruction testing new hairstyles before I leave the house. If it doesn't pass the initial test... out it comes and I put it up again. If I have total failure on a style, I fall back on something that does stay. And if it's a lazy day, I put it in one or two braids and then I am *done*.

If you're feeling compelled to do something nice for your hair, maybe try soaking in the tub. Mine pretty much always thinks more moisture is good, and a soak in the tub is a happy thing for it. Also happy for me, since I like reading in the tub :D.

[clichepithet]

You cannot comb or brush your hair if it is "up". Leave it up. It cannot tangle too much in most buns, at your hair type you should be able to effectively finger-comb, gently, when you take it down. Your ends are likely getting scraggly not from tangles, but from you obsessively combing it and brushing it.

Unless this is some form of Trichotillomania (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania), which I suppose someone who knows more about that specifically will roll by and pipe up. There are people here... think there's even a group.

ETA: No group that I could find. But there's a thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=4854&highlight=trich).

[Henrietta]

I experienced this too at the beginning of my long hair journey. Brushing, coming, touching... Apparently I was a member of wear hair up challenge but I had my hair up only when I was out. At home I used to take it down. And clip for a while. And take down and comb and brush. And braid. And take down the braid. And look at the ends. And put some spray conditioner. And comb. And brush...

When I was sick of it, as I knew I was hurting my hair because of playing with it too much, I decided to bite the bullet and wear it up literally all the time.

The trick is- the more sophisticated updo, the smaller temptation to ruin it. So do not wear cinnamon buns because you are able to take it down in a second. Make complicated braids. For example today I am wearing a crown braid. There are moments when I am thinking about taking it down and put some oil in my hair as it is a wash day today or tomorrow, it depends on some details, nevermind. But I think "It took me 15 minutes to make it and it is so nice! I don't want to take it down." Indeed, it's my best crown braid ever. This way I won't take it down until late night. Then, try to prepare your hair to the night as late as possible. At your pyjamas, sitting in your bed. Not 2 hours before sleeping. It works for me too. I am so tired that I just comb it, brush it, and put it into a pony. And I go to bed. No time or power for experimenting.

And do not think about it. It is hard. But the truth is that we are playing with our hair because we think about it and about playing with it. So don't. Always have something to do. Reading, watching TV... Fill your free time with something else, so you won't have time to play with your hair too much.

[julliams]

Have you tried S & D (search and destroy) where you find and cut split ends. This stops me playing with my hair too much since I've got my hands in it, but for good. It will also solve your issue with waiting for trimming.

My problem is that I run my hands through my hair looking for coarse hairs and then running my fingers down them to feel all the lumps and bumps. I used to pull them out but stopped this when I realised that they were going to sit down with length.

I'm sure this is just a phase you are going through and if you find something else to distract you, it will soon go away.

[RitaPG]

Don't make a conscious effort to not touch it, or you'll always be thinking that you want to lol.
I find that if I make a french or a braided bun, it will probably stay there all day. It's a matter of habit really, once you get used to leave it alone, you'll be fine.:)

[SpinDance]

I'll second the recommendation to find some other way to fidget. I like knitting or spinning (yarn), or doing sudoku. Anything to keep my hands out of my hair.

[linnepinne]

Thank you all so much for your help and support!

Maybe the reward method would be something for me to try. Rewards are always nice! :D Not sure what the reward should be though... I think i need a bigger reward, like permitting myself to get a new cd or a dvd or something (things i rarely buy since they're a bit of a luxury with a part time wage, but something i absolutely LOVE!). But that requires a bigger challenge also. Maybe one or two weeks of always having my hair up, and only DETANGLE ONCE in the morning OR shower, and ONCE in the evening to prepare for bed. What do you think?

And your tips about complicated updos are great, but the problem is that i can't really do that many updos becuse my hair is only SL and extremely layered. The only things i can do are: Ponytail, Two (very ugly, due to the layers) braids, A sort of bun/twist i wear with a hair stick, Sock bun and eehrm... yep thats all of them. Tips on updos for shorter hair are most welcome!

I've also tried S&D on a few of my strands that always seem to knot. So i siply cut the knots off. But the rest of my hair is to short, and i can't even get it around my head to in front of my face! Lol :D

By the way, do you have any tips on where to hide my combs and brushes? I need tips on a very complicated place, because just keeping them in the bathroom is to much of a temptation!

The links on Trichitillomania was really interesting! I had no idea such a symdome actually existed! Thankfully, i don't really feel i fit in with that crew (yet!) :cheese: Thanks again!

[SpinDance]

By the way, do you have any tips on where to hide my combs and brushes? I need tips on a very complicated place, because just keeping them in the bathroom is to much of a temptation!

When I switched from injection molded plastic combs/picks to horn/wood/bone, I took all the old ones and put them into a bag, then put the bag in some really out of the way place. It's been long enough now that I can't remember if I gave them all away to the neighbor kids or if they are still hidden someplace in the house!

[Anje]

I get that way when I'm stressed, so you're definitely not alone. Seriously, put your hair in a bun, clip it with something comfortable, then put a bandana/scarf/buff over the whole thing so no hair hangs out. Once you've done that, go do something else with your hands. I like the suggestion of taking up knitting or crocheting. Something that keeps both hands occupied (reading isn't good that way).

If nothing else works, henna your nails so they're covered in goop and you can't touch anything. Or put on gloves.

[pepperminttea]

I'm definitely guilty of this. What worked for me was finding comfortable updos that made me literally forget about my hair - French braiding and the nautilus bun particularly, and at shorter lengths, the French twist. If your hair's up, you won't need to detangle it nearly as much. And when you're relaxing, watching the TV and whatnot, try to keep your hands busy; Othala suggested crochet or knitting. It's the right time of year to start on a scarf? :) They're a great starter project, if you can learn the basics to make a rectangle you're about there - there's youtube videos that can help you with that. And there is a wonderful satisfaction to being able to look at something and think, I made that.

[Chestershire]

play pokemon on the gameboy. That's what I would do

[linnepinne]

Just writing out my problem here on the forum seems to have helped a bit. At least for today. I put my hair up when I went to work, and haven't touched it since! And I don't plan on fiddling with it until i'm going to bed. Go me! I'm doing so well! :D *patting myself on the shoulder*

[SpinDance]

Just writing out my problem here on the forum seems to have helped a bit. At least for today. I put my hair up when I went to work, and haven't touched it since! And I don't plan on fiddling with it until i'm going to bed. Go me! I'm doing so well! :D *patting myself on the shoulder*

That's great news! I often find writing about or talking to someone about something helps me greatly. Congratulations! *nice pat on the shoulder* :cheese: