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View Full Version : Hair Etiquette- what's yours?



WaitingSoLong
September 12th, 2010, 10:56 AM
I thought it would be interesting to find out what other people think proper hair etiquette is, whether it is hygiene or touching or speaking about hair or what.

A few of mine:

I ALWAYS ALWAYS throw my hairs that shed away in the trash (as opposed to letting it fall on the floor) and wish everyone else would do the same.

Never brush your hair or mess with it when food is around. (I suppose if it is only YOUR food and you are alone it is ok).

NEVER share brushes.

Don't ask people WHY they have their hair such-and-such a way. There is never a good answer and it seems to come off offensively no matter how it is done (unless preceeded by a compliment?) eg: Why is your hair so long? Why do you dye your hair? Why do you havw dreds?

Don't comment on other people's hair negatively (your hair is so stringy....) even if it is true.

And I know this subject has been beat to death but never touch someone else's hair without their permission.

spidermom
September 12th, 2010, 11:04 AM
I think it's good manners to keep hair contained when you're in public or at other people's houses so that shed hairs don't fall randomly and end up stuck to someone, on their furniture, or in their food. It also keeps people from twiddling around with their hair, which is a plus in my mind.

Diamondbell
September 12th, 2010, 11:08 AM
- I too never share combs or brushes.
- I don't comment on people's hair negatively either
- I don't mind if shed hairs fall on the floor, but they have to be collected and thrown into trash and not left lying around, or in combs or brushes...
- I don't make fun of others' hairstyles/ updos
- don't like to go out with wet dripping hair (if that happens, I use a crochet bun cover but I try to avoid this).

Konstifik
September 12th, 2010, 11:30 AM
Never share combs/brushes! It's like sharing toothbrushes in my view.

No touching hair, unless you got the persons permission.

If you must, criticize, but make it constructive and polite!

That's pretty much all I can think of... For now. :D

Kaileida
September 12th, 2010, 11:40 AM
I take great pains to make sure my hair never touches anyone who wouldn't want it touching them- not flipping my hair around unless I'm sure there's no one around me, for example.

I always ask if it's ok if I touch people's hair, unless they're close friends.

I do my best to collect sheds and toss them, but sometimes I lose a couple hairs.

I actually really don't care about sharing brushes, though I might not share my BBB.

I only give hair criticism if someone is already complaining about it and then it's always constructive, like if someone says their ends are super crunchy no matter what I'll tell them about protein overload and such.

Unlike many of my friends I don't tell people they should cut their hair... ever... luckily no one has said this to me since I look infinitely better with long hair but my guy friends with long locks get it on a near-daily basis. It's a personal choice; I also don't go around telling people they look stupid in yellow or whatever.

Pierre
September 12th, 2010, 11:44 AM
I don't have a list of rules, but I once scolded a friend for touching my hair right after applying some lotion, which turned out to contain mineral oil.

swivelhop
September 12th, 2010, 11:46 AM
I'm 'not cool' in this regard. I just let the hair do what it does naturally except around food, then I contain it. Only think that irks me is people that throw hair in the toilet instead of the trash. Snaking the drain is not fun.

eezepeeze
September 12th, 2010, 11:50 AM
If I'm outside and the wind is blowing, I make sure that my hair doesn't blow into peoples faces.

Don't fix hair at the dinner table

Don't serve food with a head full of coconut oil. It's just gross and people don't want to eat food from someone who has a greasy head.

Don't ever criticize a person's hair, even if you mean well. People are sensitive and will be hurt. hair is too personal to mess with. After all, they probably think they look awesome and I don't want to be the person that brings someone down.

Clean out your brushes and combs and don't leave them lying around the house with a bunch of gross dead hair stuck in them.

I think that's it.

LittleOrca
September 12th, 2010, 12:29 PM
--Never share brushes (but I will share combs with my fiancÚ or mother only.)
--Never play with my hair while at the dinner table.
--Only fix a hairstyle in a restaurant restroom, never at the table.
--Toss hair from my brush or comb away in the trash, flush down the toilet, or let outside for birds to use in their nests (depending on where I am at the time I am cleaning my brush.)
--Never tell someone what to do with their hair unless they ask for advice.
--Never touch a stranger's hair unless I am invited to or I ask to.
--Never given into anger/ hatred of people who tell you your hair is disgusting, gross, ratty, should be shaved off, or likewise. (Kill them with kindness by being polite, but don't be afraid to tell pushy kiosk people where to shove it. ;) )

Henrietta
September 12th, 2010, 12:35 PM
I thought it would be interesting to find out what other people think proper hair etiquette is, whether it is hygiene or touching or speaking about hair or what.

A few of mine:

I ALWAYS ALWAYS throw my hairs that shed away in the trash (as opposed to letting it fall on the floor) and wish everyone else would do the same.- me too. This is the first rule. Also I throw away in the trash all the hair I took out from a brush/comb. My cousin is rolling it and letting it fall on the floor. Small balls of death hair in every corner of the room... Ugh.

Never brush your hair or mess with it when food is around. (I suppose if it is only YOUR food and you are alone it is ok).- Agree. I am also trying not to put hairtoys or brushes on the kitchen table, unless I really need both hands to do something quickly.

NEVER share brushes. -Agree.

Don't ask people WHY they have their hair such-and-such a way. There is never a good answer and it seems to come off offensively no matter how it is done (unless preceeded by a compliment?) eg: Why is your hair so long? Why do you dye your hair? Why do you havw dreds?- Agree. The answer is obvious- "because I like it."

Don't comment on other people's hair negatively (your hair is so stringy....) even if it is true. -Agree. It's just... mean.

And I know this subject has been beat to death but never touch someone else's hair without their permission.- Agree. This subject have to be beat to death, but not here. WE know that. I wish people around knew that too.

I am also trying not to cause troubles because of the fact that I take a special care about my hair. On school trips or something like that. I am trying to do everything as quick as possible. At home I can occupy the bathroom for 2 hours, but...

Antipodienne
September 12th, 2010, 01:07 PM
I'm 'not cool' in this regard. I just let the hair do what it does naturally except around food, then I contain it. Only think that irks me is people that throw hair in the toilet instead of the trash. Snaking the drain is not fun.

True that.
My mom always said to "Fix it and forget it". In other words, no brushing, combing, primping, preening in public, and better just to not touch it until bedtime. I usually wear it up, so no prob!

Antipodienne
September 12th, 2010, 01:08 PM
Oh, and I once saw somebody put a shed hair on a plate that they had just finished with. It was...*shudder*

.:Alma:.
September 12th, 2010, 01:36 PM
I agree with everything, I would add: Never cook with loose hair. The odds of finding one in the meal are too high, and is quite risky to burn your ends :)

I also always carry a little extra brush with me, for when the little girls in the art lab ask for a braid. I won't share mine.

BattahZ
September 12th, 2010, 02:06 PM
A couple to add, as someone who uses public transportation daily - if you're on the bus or metro or whatever, don't drape your hair over the back of your seat into the lap of the person behind you. It's gross. I've had to awkwardly contort before when women sitting in front of me have done it, and it's so awkward trying not to touch their hair (touching strangers' hair is nasty, IMO, no matter how nice it looks). I've started pulling mine over my shoulder, now that it's long enough to get into someone else's space.

And if you ride the subway during standing-room-only times, mind the pointy hairtoys (ha) and try to confine your hair a bit. When you're crammed in and can't move, having to avoid an eye poke or hair-in-face situation makes an uncomfortable situation even worse. If I'm wearing a long-ish hairstick that day, I'll usually swap it for something else during the ride home, especially if I'm going during high-traffic hours.

slz
September 12th, 2010, 02:13 PM
or let outside for birds to use in their nests
I thought I was the only one having this reasoning :D . Yay for bird lovers :cheese:.

tweegirl
September 12th, 2010, 02:44 PM
Hello!

I always rinse the tub and clean hair out of the drain after a shower/bath. Seems I am always cleaning up the bathroom sink and floor after brushing/styling my hair as well. I just don't like leaving strands everywhere!

julia941
September 12th, 2010, 02:46 PM
I'm a hair twister so I try to keep my hair up to help me keep my hands out of it and to prevent repetitive damage to my "spot." I also like to keep it contained so I don't shed, but I have a Newfoundland dog and I've been told by a particularly fastidious friend that I shed her hair more than I shed my own.
I think it is also important to learn how to accept a compliment gracefully. There is no need to try and deflect it - that sort of looks like you are fishing for more, just as going on and on about what you do to get your hair like that can make you sound a little obsessed. A simple thank you while looking the giver in the eye is enough. If they want to know more, they will ask.

pepperminttea
September 12th, 2010, 02:46 PM
Always have hair up for eating, but put it up in private; the bathroom or before you leave the house.
Throw away shed hairs; compost, or in the spring, into the garden for the birds - nesting material.
Don't advise about hair unless explicitly asked to. (I still slip with this sometimes, but I'm trying! :o )

bumblebums
September 12th, 2010, 03:06 PM
Most of my rules have already been mentioned. I would add that I myself get really annoyed when someone says, "did you cut your hair?" Especially if it's pretty obvious that I did. So I never ask that question of others. If there is an obvious hairstyle change, I will say, "I like your new haircut!" even if it's not strictly true. It can be disheartening to undergo a major makeover and nobody say anything nice about it.

JenniferNoel
September 12th, 2010, 03:21 PM
My hair etiquette is mostly the same as that of the OP. Especially the rule regarding meal time. I never play with my hair at the table, and it does annoy me when others do.
I never make comments on anyone's hair unless asked to critique, or if I have something complimentary to say.

I only "mess around" with my hair in the comfort of my own house, and all shed hairs are collected and discarded properly, and if in a public washroom, immediately flushed. I clean my comb every other day after use.

Oiled hair must be covered at all times if not in a secure, full up-do, even if hair is only slightly greasier than presentable.

If hair is not in an up-do, it is either styled smoothly or pulled in to a secure ponytail slightly above the nape.

Discussing hair at the dinner table is unacceptable unless the conversation is initiated by another person with interest in hair care.

Negative comments towards those who chose to style their hair with a damaging routine are forbidden unless, as previously clarified, the subject asks for advice/critique.

"Showing off" hair when down in a flashy, bombastic manner is unacceptable, regardless of hair's length, condition, color, etc.

GoddessElppy
September 12th, 2010, 03:46 PM
I don't mind others touching my hair or touching others's hair, but most people I know don't care if I touch it, but I don't go out of my way, usually just if a coworker is standing in front of me, I'll bat it about for a second or two and then leave it rest (but I wouldn't touch a stranger's hair unless I'd asked first). I only mind when someone touches my hair (or if my fiance strokes it) if they don't use enough pressure, because light touches make it tickle and tingle, and I hate that feeling.
I don't mind sharing brushes or combs, my roommate(s) and I always shared ours.
I will clean my own hair out of the shower drain when it gets clogged, and wish my roommate(s) would do the same, but they usually don't, because apparently, once hair falls out of your head it's deemed "gross" and is too disgusting to even touch. I always think "Whatever!" because it's not like you're going to be eating it, nor has anyone in the house not washed their hair in months or something.
I'll say something to someone whose hair I love, especially if it's curly (because I've always wanted curly hair) or if it's done up really pretty, but I never say anything negative to anyone, even if they ask me and I hate it (usually I say, "Oooh, that's interesting!" Only if asked directly will I say anything negative).
I try not to touch my hair or leave it down around food, because I don't want it falling into whatever it is that I'm cooking. I play with it incessantly if it's down because I'm not used to it down, and it annoys me, so I normally keep it up anyway.

Daniella123
September 12th, 2010, 04:09 PM
when my hair was really unhealthy.. well I didn't realise how much hair built up in the drain.. and my bf would take it out and leave it in the shower. SO EMBARRASSING.
so.. take care of your sheddage

curls2grow
September 12th, 2010, 05:27 PM
When I am a guest in someone else's house, I go to the restroom if I need to mess with my hair. Nothing cheeses me off more when people walk through my house brushing their hair -- family or otherwise.

Petite Simone
September 12th, 2010, 05:42 PM
In the college showers I keep my shed hairs off of the shower walls and out of the drain (people are gross here when it comes to this).
Never fiddle with my hair at the table or where ever else there's food
Say only nice things about others' hair, and if there is nothing nice to say, I keep my mouth shut
Any curiosity is expressed in a kind and excited way, (ex You're hair is so great! How did you do that? Is it hard to maintain? What's your favorite thing to do with it? I wish I had the courage to do something like that. You look fantastic!)
Don't share my brushes
Keep my hair up when cooking!!!

luxepiggy
September 12th, 2010, 07:42 PM
Remove your hair from the shower, especially when not at your own house or in a shared living situation!!! It drives me crazy when I have guests who use the shower and don't throw away the hair that's caught on the little drain cover. Perhaps they think it's OK since I have long hair - but don't they notice when they get in that the entire shower is completely free of hair?? When I was in university, my roommate, who had BSL hair, also had a habit of not cleaning the drain catcher :mad:

MissManda
September 12th, 2010, 08:09 PM
Here are mine:

~ When brushing or combing my hair, I make sure to collect my shed hairs. I then put them in the trash can, throw it outside, or I collect them in a plastic baggie if I intend on doing a strand test for a hair experiment. I will not put them in the toilet and flush them because I think that is disgusting.

~ I pick up my shed hairs from the shower.

~ Wear hair back/up whilst cooking.

~ I trim my hair and do S&D over a trash can or outside so the little pieces of hair don't wind up anywhere.

~ I try to keep track of my shed hairs if I wear my hair down in public. Shed hairs might wind up in very unpleasant places otherwise. I once found a very long shed hair when I was trying clothes on, which was somewhat gross.

~ I only say positive things about someone's hair. I never say anything negative because I know it can hurt their feelings.

~ I only give hair advice when it is asked for.

~ I will not touch another person's hair unless they invite me to. If I wish to touch someone's hair, I will politely ask first.

~ I never tell someone they should cut their hair.

~ When buying hairtoys for someone else, I make sure I ask them about what kind of hair they have and what styles they like to wear it in, that way I do not accidentally offend them by getting something that they cannot wear. I have had people buy hair toys for me who assumed that my straight hair is "thin," which was a bit offensive and somewhat irritating because I couldn't use them.

~ I don't play with my hair whilst at the table.

Chiara
September 12th, 2010, 08:28 PM
Don't groom your hair in public places, where people are close by: the other day I was on the train, and a girl sitting in the seat in front of me got our her comb, combed her hair and scritched her scalp (I could see she had dandruff) and then kept running her fingers down individual strands (she seemed to be looking for flakes to remove, which went onto the floor). I just found that totally revolting!!

Having said that, if someone needs to put their hair up, and its done quickly, that doesn't bother me.

Jules diamond
September 12th, 2010, 08:44 PM
Mine are:

Always keep your hair up when working or at school.

When eating, put it back.

Pick up hair balls!

Politely decline when your family and friends offer to cut your hair for you.

Gvnagitlvgei
September 12th, 2010, 08:54 PM
Here's three:

-Never, ever touch someone's hair, especially if you're the opposite sex and not at all close family. Never.

-Do not pat me on top of the head. It's highly offensive.

-And do not assume anything about ethnic hair. Just because ABC does XYZ with their hair, realize they are are individuals and what they do does not apply to another. If I wear my hair big and bushy one day, please don't call it an afro, cuz it's not. It's just big hair with lots of texture. Make no reference to Denzel Washington (who doesn't even wear an afro) nor Blaxploitation films like Superfly, Foxxy Brown, nothing of the sort. That's not my culture damnit! LOL.

atlantaz3
September 12th, 2010, 08:57 PM
I bake for the office and for gifts. I worry that someone will get a cookie or cake with a hair - euuwwww! So before I start I make sure my hair is up with a fork - I haven't gotten to the hair net stage - yet.

lastnite
September 12th, 2010, 09:04 PM
I think it's good manners to keep hair contained when you're in public or at other people's houses so that shed hairs don't fall randomly and end up stuck to someone, on their furniture, or in their food. It also keeps people from twiddling around with their hair, which is a plus in my mind.

heheheh, this. my worst fear is hair getting caught on someone else's clothes, like a button, and being like "oh crap, wait I have to untangle this" and there I am trying to gently untangle it. lol :p

Carolyn
September 13th, 2010, 06:08 PM
Most of the time I try to be mindful of where my hair is and what it's doing. Unless it's necessary I don't redo it in public. But if my bun falls down when I'm eating I'll fix it at the table. If I stay overnight in someone's home I make sure I don't leave shed hair in the drain or on the floor. If I brush my hair in the ladies room at Walmart I'm not all that careful if a shed hair or two ends up on the floor. It doesn't bother me to see other people mess around with their hair in public. I rather like to watch.

GoddessElppy
September 13th, 2010, 07:19 PM
With a fork? Do you mean like Ariel? =)

Copasetic
September 13th, 2010, 07:38 PM
My only real rule is not brushing hair in public. It completely grosses me out. Although it is not a rule, I would prefer that people did not constantly undo and redo their hair in class. It is so distracting! I have seen girls make and remake buns half a dozen times during lecture.

Kathie
September 13th, 2010, 08:03 PM
With a fork? Do you mean like Ariel? =)

Heres a thread which shows what a hair fork is....

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=28667

I'm pretty relaxed about my hair shedding around the house. It'll get sucked up into the vacuum cleaner in due time. But at someone else's house I'm careful. I'd be embarrassed if I noticed one of my hairs stuck on someone or on the furniture.

Putting a shed hair on a dinner plate is gross.


I like to comment if I notice someone has a new hair cut and color or style. Usually I say something like "oh your hair is different- it looks nice". Nothing to offensive- just enough to let them know that its noticed.

eamane
September 13th, 2010, 11:57 PM
I agree with most here.
I only share brush/comb with DD if necessary, she does have her own but if we're lazy and just have one at hand, we use that one.
I always try to collect shed hairs where ever I shed them. At home I can brush in pretty much every room (not kitchen) but not when I'm visiting. At my sisters I usually go outside if it's not to cold.
Hair is up when eating and preparing food.
I don't normally comment negatively on other peoples hair, I may give a compliment but nothing negative.

Natalia
September 13th, 2010, 11:58 PM
Off the top of my head (no pun intended :p)...



- I only ever throw shed hairs on the floor in my room in one spot so they are easy to clean up..... ok well i do toss some on the floor downstairs when im pissed at a certain soemone lol becasue it drives her nuts .





- Never ever EVER share combs or hair toys unless theyve been throughly cleaned first (thast generally for hairtoys i havent had a need to use anyones comb in a long time).



- Hair is always well contained when cooking, eating, or cleaning.



- Never touch anyone elses hair, toys, or brushes/combs without permission. Not like i go anywhere to get the chance but i still stand by it.



- If i shower at someone elses place i always clean up my shed hairs.



And these last two are kind of self preservation but...



- Dont EVER mention oiling around non-longhairs



- Dont provide temptation (like wearing hair down around unaccepting family and friends, putting in sparkly hair toys around small children, ect...)



As for commenting on hair generally anyone who asks knows im going to tell them the truth becasue ive told them so. So they know what theyre getting into lol. I know i have several more but im getting computer coma after being on for so long :p

Natalia

DecafJane
September 14th, 2010, 03:22 AM
Do not ask people what they would do if you cut all their hair off. It is creepy, offensive and aggressive.

I agree with what most other people have said, particularly about not draping your hair on other strangers in public. It is really gross to be in a lift and have a stranger's hair all over you.