View Full Version : pure frustration.

September 2nd, 2010, 01:54 AM
*warning, rant ahead*
I have just about given up on my hair. I'm just so angry, I can barely put it into words. In the past month it has become ridiculously unhealthy and I almost want to chop it all off and start again. I really brought this unto myself though, I haven't been taking the greatest care of it. I've been in the ocean a lot this last week, and, without rinsing out the salt water, left my hair for days without combing or tying it up. (I was on a surfing trip and it was just easier/faster to leave it be for the duration of the trip.) I knew it was a bad idea, but of course, being cranky and tired when I got home, I brushed out my hair violently. My poor hair. I don't know why I did that. I was too tired to think, and now I really regret it. With that and a number of other things, my hair has become quite gross and damaged.
Anyways, to sum up the slight rambling, I have quite possibly ruined my hair beyond all repair, and I am debating whether to cut off the 10 or so inches of really damaged parts, this would get rid of my annoying layers, but also leave me at what I consider to be my awkward-length, which will take a good year to get out of.

Does anyone have any input? Maybe some advice for how to undo as much of the damage as possible, or how to keep it in the state it's in as long as possible without letting it get any worse? Do you think henna would help?

Thank you so much if you can help, right now I am going to go to my calm place and think about unicorns and sunshine and... well, anything other than my hair. :meditate:

September 2nd, 2010, 02:15 AM
Not sure if I could be of much help here, but whenever I feel really fed up with my hair I over-pamper it. Maybe do a SMT or some other kind of treatment and see what comes of it? Or oil it a ton and put it in a braid for the night and wash it out the next day. I'd personally do both.
Hope that helps some :)
Just don't do anything rash. Think before chopping it all off.

September 2nd, 2010, 02:16 AM
I know doing treatments and i have found an oil treatment works wonders for my hair, when my was very dry i did a treatment every week and you normally see an improvement. I am sure you will get plenty of advice from others with more experience.

September 2nd, 2010, 02:23 AM
I doubt that a surfing trip and a little bit of salt water has "ruined" your hair so don't be too quick to chop it off. I have plenty of weeks where my hair seems "ruined" but all it takes is some hot oiling and a deep conditioner to get it back to its old self. I highly reccomend waiting a few weeks before doing something drastic that you might regret later. If you are extra nice to your hair, oil it regularly for a few days and CO wash I think you may find that your hair is not in as bad a condition as you thought :).

September 2nd, 2010, 02:24 AM
Try a couple of weeks of babying your hair. Do any treatments you know it likes and be very gentle with it. After this 2 weeks, then you can better judge if you need a trim.

September 2nd, 2010, 03:09 AM
Over the weekend I used mousse AND hairspray on my hair and was out in the sun and heat for the whole day for a dance event. When I got home and showered, I had to use an SLS shampoo and then a conditioner to make sure I got all the product out. My hair definitely felt dry and unhappy. I slathered on some nice oils when my hair was still damp and then for my next wash, I used my most moisturizing conditioner as for my CO, instead of just on the ends like I normally do. I put more oil on the ends. I had flat hair so CO'ed again today like I normally do, and now my hair feels back to its normal, soft condition.

Moral of the story is don't give up until you give your hair a chance to recover. HTH.

September 2nd, 2010, 08:34 AM
Salt can really suck out moisture out of anything, so maybe your hair is very dry and not as damaged as you think?
I second the deep moisture treatment, maybe even more than one (one every week or every few days), and the oiling and baybying your hair.
ravenreed is right, don't give up, wait 2-3 weeks so that you can see wether the moisture helped, and just how damaged your hair really is...

September 2nd, 2010, 08:59 AM
Don't give up on it yet. As others have noted, it may just need a few weeks of pampering to bounce back.

September 2nd, 2010, 09:06 AM
Give it a little time and babying before you write off your hair as a total loss.

Also, look for a chelating shampoo. One of our members did some major damage years ago by soaking her hair with (rather concentrated) salt water, trying to get beachy waves. After lots of searching, I'm pretty sure it was washing with a chelating shampoo that brought her hair back to a state of reasonable health.

ETA: Found it... (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=12690) Older than I thought -- 2004.

September 2nd, 2010, 10:55 AM
I agree; give your hair a deep treatment. I like Joico K-Pak Reconstructor; SMT and oiling are good, too. You may need to trim a bit. Sometimes a very little does more good than seems logical.

Good luck!

September 2nd, 2010, 11:11 AM
I toss my vote in for doing the 2-week wait rule before cutting, and to baby it. I'd wash carefully to get the salt out, condition heavily then slather it with oils and wear it up a lot.

I was at the ocean for 2 weeks last January and swam most days. I was afraid that I'd end up with sun and salt damage, but by braiding with hair slathered with shea butter, careful washing using CWC as needed and CO the rest of the time I ended up with overall condition no worse for the wear. I expect that those who swim in the ocean more regularly than I have good tips and tricks.

September 2nd, 2010, 11:14 AM
I heartily agree with everything that has been said - deep treat your hair and treat it lovingly for the next two weeks while you decide to chop.

September 2nd, 2010, 11:26 AM
I am sure you have at least one "magic recipe" that you have already tested and you know it works for you. So do this deep treatment. If you don't have any- I recommend coconut oil.
Then there is a simple way to cure your poor hair. At least it works for me... After washing your hair put a rinse-out conditioner and keep it on your hair fot at least half an hour (time makes a difference. It doesn't matter that they wrote on the bottle that it works in 120 seconds or something like that.) Put a shower cap or a plastic bag on your head and a towel, to warm it up. I know it doesn't sound like a miracle treatment but simple warm condish can be a salvation;)

Jenn of Pence
September 2nd, 2010, 12:02 PM
Definitely deep treatment! Also, I agree with the two-week rule before cutting, and even then you might be amazed a how much difference just an inch or less off might make. Better to trim in small bits unless you are totally 100% sure.

Man, I understand. I totally wreck my hair on vacations, too! It's usually trying to overstyle it and make it perfect if I'm at a conference or doing something formal after a day on the beach. -shudder- This alone is 70% of the reason I had to have 5 inches trimmed over the course of five months this winter!

September 2nd, 2010, 12:10 PM
I agree with babying it and trying a deep conditioning treatment, leave it in for half an hour or more. Where you live do you have Aussie 3-Minute Miracle! I love that stuff! Slather that in and like Henrietta said put a plastic bag to warm it up and keep it percolating for a while, watch TV, relax, then see what it does when you rinse it out. Should see some improvement! Don't give up on your hair yet!

September 2nd, 2010, 12:17 PM
I would do a nice clarifying treatment and follow up with moisture, moisture, moisture. You're definitely gonna have to baby it for a while to make up for the recent abuse. :( Sorry--I know how frustrating it can be!

September 2nd, 2010, 12:29 PM
Dont worry, i have damaged my hair ALOT worse than that and it has come back to a decent stage time and time again. When i was 17 my hair was APL and black, every 4 weeks i would get highlights bleached in all over, with the storngest bleach because i wanted to go blond. The 4th time i did it it was fried, breaking off and beyond repair! Of course i spent everything on my hair and had none left over for a cut!! I just used regular conditioner everyday and eventually went for a trim. After 4 months or so it was back to almost normal (i straightened everyday, used SLS and cones, brushed when wet etc) So it is possible to get ur hair back!!

I still dye it and use SLS, only today i got highlights in my bangs and a semi brown. I straighten it once or twice per week and blowdry most days, but my hair is in ok condition. Not the best it could be but thats ok for me. It still grows about an inch and a half in 9 weeks (i get a trim every 9 weeks).

Get some deep conditioning treatments, have a trim, i found aussies 3 minute miracle was a lifesaver! Just persevere. I also found that dying my hair darker seemed to help the condition, it always does but i have no idea why!

September 2nd, 2010, 01:13 PM
Oh my, I wasn't expecting this many replies! Thank you! I am going to the store today so I will pick up some Aussie 3 Minute Miracle and hopefully some coconut oil, and I'll see what other oils I can find. (Im going to Wal-Mart so I'm not too optimistic on the oils.)
I will definetly be getting a trim too this weekend, hopefully an inch or less.

Peggy E.
September 2nd, 2010, 01:22 PM
...And yet another "echo" of the previous responses - don't chop it off. You're upset and you'll simply be taking an unfortunate incident and multiplying it ten-thousand percent.

Pamper it with all the sweet, kind, loving treatments you can find. Maybe do an abbreviated S&D for the truly "ruined" ends.

If it is, in fact, "ruined beyond all hope of recovery" trim tiny bits at a time, allowing your layers to continue growing out, while taking off the damaged ends, and wear your hair in updos, braids, or in some other manner that will allow it to look its best while it grows out.

And RELAX!! ;o) Always remember it is hair - we love it, care for it, permit it to represent far more than it should of our self-esteem. But in the end, it is protein growing from our heads and whatever we do to it, it will continue to grow, be that "grow back" or "grow longer!"

September 2nd, 2010, 02:32 PM
I doubt that a surfing trip and a little bit of salt water has "ruined" your hair so don't be too quick to chop it off. I have plenty of weeks where my hair seems "ruined" but all it takes is some hot oiling and a deep conditioner to get it back to its old self. I highly reccomend waiting a few weeks before doing something drastic that you might regret later. If you are extra nice to your hair, oil it regularly for a few days and CO wash I think you may find that your hair is not in as bad a condition as you thought :).

This is exactly what I was going to say.........

September 2nd, 2010, 07:28 PM
I put what felt like 1/2 CUP of coconut oil in my hair last night after a day at the beach, because the salt water and harsh sun exposure dryed it out so much. It feels MUUUCH better today. Also, a small trim (my 3-month trim happened to be yesterday, which was very convenient!) of 1/2 or 1 inch will make you feel much better although it doesn't make much sense why.

September 2nd, 2010, 07:44 PM
I think by cutting it off you are giving up on your hair just like you did while on your surfing trip. I don't mean to be harsh, but the fact is that you didn't care enough about your hair during your surfing trip. What makes that different now? If you cut it off and start over, will this happen again? Or... do you have the patience to take care of your now damaged hair to fix it as much as possible and baby it from now on? Just some questions to think about. Treating damaged hair is difficult, but not impossible. I could easily cut off many inches of my hair due to old hair dye where my hair was fried. However, I'd rather have long hair and so I treat it nicely and continue growing it. It's harder to deal with and I have to use some special products, but it's worth it to me.

I'd think about it for a few weeks before you cut it off. Try treating it first and see how it does. :)

September 6th, 2010, 04:53 PM
Okay, a mini update.
When I first went to the store, I somehow completely forgot about the hair products I was planning on getting, and when I ended up going again, they had no 3 minute miracle and I didn't have time to look at the available oils. BUT luckily my grandma had some deep conditioner at her house, so I let that soak for a while, and amazingly my hair is looking considerably better. *sigh of relief* I'm going to look around at home to see if we have any olive oil, and then probably let that soak for a few hours.
I am now totally confident that my hair will (at least mostly) go back to the way it was. *another mega sigh of relief*
Hugs to all of you for the support. Seriously, I needed it.