Hair Models, Good or Bad, I am tired of it

[trillcat]

I see hair I want, It causes me to do some odd things to my hair.
I want perfection, and I will never have that. Though I SEE perfection in my mind eye. on others. I see the perfect blonde I want, I see silky hair, why does my hair not do that? I see Beautiful brunette, mine will also not do that.
I am so tired of keeping up this look, long hair when it becomes more problem that an asset.
I will never have the hair I want, so why bother with it anymore?
*crying , just fed up*

[Fractalsofhair]

Because your hair is perfect!

The reason those people look like they have amazing hair is a result of good camera lighting. Life doesn't hold still after perfectly brushed hair appears with perfect lighting on it. You can also change the color if you hate it(there are less damaging/non damaging forms of dye out there. Bleach might be tricky, but there are members here who bleach their hair and still have it healthy), and most hair can feel very nice if it's well conditioned, so if your hair doesn't feel or look like you want it to, you can change it.

[ravenreed]

If you are looking at photos of "perfect" hair, please remember that if they are professionally done, the model probably spent hours getting ready for the shoot and making sure not to move or breathe before hand so it wouldn't get mussed.

Even photos on LHC often are not high enough resolution for you to see the imperfections that are present. I know if I post a photo, there are 10 I didn't post because I didn't think they looked good enough to put up. I am not going to post my end of the day halo of frizz that I get, I will try to take one early enough that I don't look like Einstein in training.

None of my friends have hair that is perfect. Either they spend a fortune in salons to get a look they are happy with, or they go the natural route and deal with having hair that does its own thing.

I hope you figure out a way to come to peace with your hair. Maybe focus on what your #1 priority is. For me, I WILL sacrifice length for a color that I like. I prefer to deal with spikey braids because I am happier with layers. The thing is, you cannot have it all, you have to choose.

Take a breather, sit down and think of the top 3 things you wish your hair would do. Take one and work on just that for a while. Good luck!

[1953Diygal]

Years ago, I read this article (http://www.stumptuous.com/why-dont-you-look-like-a-fitness-model) called Why Don't I Look Like a Fitness Model? It helped me to look at my workouts more realistically. I think that thinking along the same ways with our hair can help us, too.

I, likewise, would LOVE it if I had zero split-ends. Unfortunately, I have to make the tradeoff between having dramatic color and having no split-ends. However, my stylist always refers to my hair as being "Pantene-style" and "babe hair" so I just think about the overall picture.

I'm sure your hair is stunning. Just try not to be so hard on yourself. Don't sweat the details.

[Nightshade]

Anything in print on on screen has been touched up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHLpRxAmCrw

Like so :)

One thing being married to a graphic designer has taught me, never trust ANYTHING you see.

[ravenreed]

I had to make peace with some things about my hair. It can be soft, and it is, but silky is right out. I have hair that is far to coarse for silky. I console myself with the fact that it makes it much more able to stand up to the various abuses I subject it to.

Can I tell you a secret? My hair has gotten extremely shiny. I HATE it. I look for mattefying products to tone down the crazy shine I have. There are people on this board who would kill for the amount of shine I have and hate.

So some of the very things that the OP is admiring in other people might be driving them crazy. And I am sure there are things about the OP's hair that others are looking at and saying "Why won't my hair ever do that??"

[DuckyDot]

Everything on these 'Perfect' Pictures has been Altered to make them seem Awesome.
No-one has perfect hair, but I'm sure that you can make peace withwhat you have.
What you see as your not perfect hair might be some-one else's perfect hair :)

[MonikaHa]

Being a photographer myself has taught me never to believe anything I see on phogographs :)

[tigr]

Anything in print on on screen has been touched up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHLpRxAmCrw

Like so :)

One thing being married to a graphic designer has taught me, never trust ANYTHING you see.

That video was eye-opening. Thanks for posting it!

And trillcat, I hope you can come to accept (and maybe even enjoy) your hair.

[LouLaLa]

*Hug*

I feel this way too sometimes and ill tell you something...I used to model and in pictures I had perfect hair- but did I in real life- no (as you can see from my avatar is just normal).

It all comes down to high quality cameras, excellent lighting, 2 or 3 people with brushes on hand to move every hair in place and a model that sits for a few hours pretty much still so that all the hair can be placed just so. Also extensions are used really widely to thicken up hair and create impossible efffects. Of all the girls I worked with I think maybe one had really nice long healthy hair and even then it was super frizzy most of the time (because you cant look perfect 24/7). Most has short cuts which they clipped extensions in, overprocessed locks they were trying to grow out or weak hair from bad nutrition. So really theres nothing too special about it!
I know there are some hair models who just do that and they may have good hair but it isnt something I have experience of so I cant comment on them

On top of it all the images are usually photoshopped and my friend who is a fashion photographer, on every photo hes taken alters the contrast on the images before he goes on to shop them more (or he just does this so techincally they arent shopped just enhanced)which is why the blondes are always "dazzling" if you have adobe of paintshop try putting a picture of your own hair in and put the contast up by 5% and you too can have shiny hair! They can also insert light effects to add a panel of shine which makes the hair look healthy.

I hope this helps you a little :) There is some amazing hair on this site so maybe some of the hair gurus can share some tips eg honey, smt etc. So dont get too down everybody has off days *hug*

[Igor]

Maybe we need to apply Donald Winnicotts theory on “The good enough mother” on hair too?
“The good enough hair” Anyone? :gabigrin:

[Katurday]

My hair is a giant ball of permanent frizz. It comes in all three densities, it is thick but APPEARS thin (meaning I can't do the updos at certain lengths that thinnies can but I still don't have thud-reactions) and most of the time its in awkward straight yet flippy land. It is shiny, but it is also bozo orange on my halo, and it looks just plain stupid most of the time.

Honestly, after all this time, do what makes you feel good on the inside. Dye it horribly bright colors, straighten it every day, curl it and whatever. ITS JUST HAIR, and if it makes you miserable, make it work for you. And PAH to the consequences.

[trillcat]

My hair is a giant ball of permanent frizz. It comes in all three densities, it is thick but APPEARS thin (meaning I can't do the updos at certain lengths that thinnies can but I still don't have thud-reactions) and most of the time its in awkward straight yet flippy land. It is shiny, but it is also bozo orange on my halo, and it looks just plain stupid most of the time.

Honestly, after all this time, do what makes you feel good on the inside. Dye it horribly bright colors, straighten it every day, curl it and whatever. ITS JUST HAIR, and if it makes you miserable, make it work for you. And PAH to the consequences.

"it's just hair"
I dont mean harm but I really hate that line. Hate with a passion of 10,000 white hot suns. *give me big hugs, I don't mean to flame* Pun intended. I know you did not intend to hurt with that. *kiss kiss*
It is just hair, but it is MY hair, and it has taken a freaking long time to grow out from a pixie back to my long hair. (I went a bit mad from a disaster breakup, and chop chop. hair all gone. Yea, that sure showed him :rolleyes: )
I dont know anymore which was the bigger battle, growing out, or keeping it long, though I will never cut it all off again.

[UltraBella]

Trillcat, your hair doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. Everyone has different hair and it makes it interesting. Yes, some people just have naturally gorgeous hair and it can be frustrating for someone struggling with theirs, but it doesn't take away from the fact that you are nurturing and growing yours and it is pretty ! I have seen your photos and know that there are others who would love to have your color, texture and length. So don't despair, enjoy the process !

[trillcat]

Oh I was in such a mood when I posted this. I think we all get frustrated at it all somrtimes.
Thank you all for the nice words.
I have updated my pics on my home page. blondie blonde, the good, the bad.

[spidermom]

Sometimes I just hate my hair, but when I decide I'm on the 2-weeks watch before cutting it into a "real" style, I never make it the entire 2 weeks. It's a good policy, so don't do anything right away when you have these moods. I'd give it a small trim, but your hair looks quite nice, I think.

[smileycat]

\

One thing being married to a graphic designer has taught me, never trust ANYTHING you see.

Exactly! I work in the printing industry, and the guys in the prepress department can tell you about touching up Brooke Shields (the word hideous came up).

[Othala]

Do not burden yourself in this way, dear, it is folly. Be you, be free, be happy. Leave behind the prison of "perfection". It is a dead end.

[Sagi1982]

My hair isn't perfect too - but its perfect suiting me.
Don't believe shampoo adverts - they're made up by pro-photographers and photoshopped!

[growingmyhair]

I need to have this thread in my bookmarks and reread it every time I get frustrated with my hair. hint: instead of 'every time' read 'EVERYDAY'

[Pumpkin]

Do not burden yourself in this way, dear, it is folly. Be you, be free, be happy. Leave behind the prison of "perfection". It is a dead end.


Please listen to Othala, so correct! I second every word.

[Pixna]

Trillcat, I will never have the body, face, eyes, hair, skin, height, voice, confidence, intelligence, or talent that I want or that I see projected in magazines, videos, films, and television shows. Should I chuck it all and say my life is worthless? Of course not! We are all unique, and that makes each of us special and valued. Our quirks are what identify us as us. Our culture(s) thrive on making the "average" person feel awful so that she (or he) buys, buys, buys and spends, spends, spends to try to obtain the impossible -- some ideal that really doesn't exist. But the process in itself moves the economy, keeps people in business, and even drives a lot of the pharmaceutical industry, too, because we all just feel so darned miserable about ourselves.

You and your hair are perfect just as you are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Learn to accept what you have been given and make the most of it. You are not "less than" anyone else -- ANYONE else!

1953Diygal, excellent article! Nightshade, eye-opening video! Thank you both.

[Bonkers57]

"Perfect" is a word that should be deleted from everyone's vocabulary!

[JenniferNoel]

To achieve perfection, alter your definition of it. Definition of perfection is a personal choice that can only be made within.
Do not look at yourself as imperfect because you do not look the way you may wish, look at yourself as perfect because you look like yourself uniquely. Do not be blinded to your own beauty by the generic icon of so called perfection floating around in the world today.

[ArienEllariel]

But I love your hair! It's really pretty. There will probably always be people you'll want to compare yourself with but also remember that anything in a movie or photographed has probably been edited and touched up. That's just how digital media is these days. Don't compare yourself with something that's fake and unattainable. Love the hair that you have because it's lovely. :)

[x0h_bother]

We're all in 'hair' together! You have beautiful hair.

[growingmyhair]

To achieve perfection, alter your definition of it. Definition of perfection is a personal choice that can only be made within.
Do not look at yourself as imperfect because you do not look the way you may wish, look at yourself as perfect because you look like yourself uniquely. Do not be blinded to your own beauty by the generic icon of so called perfection floating around in the world today.
this sounds like a quote from a self help book (in a good way)

and, seriously, trillcat, you sure wouldn't win the worst hair around competition; so, honey, suck it up!

[C.H.]

Years ago, I read this article (http://www.stumptuous.com/why-dont-you-look-like-a-fitness-model) called Why Don't I Look Like a Fitness Model? It helped me to look at my workouts more realistically. I think that thinking along the same ways with our hair can help us, too.

I, likewise, would LOVE it if I had zero split-ends. Unfortunately, I have to make the tradeoff between having dramatic color and having no split-ends. However, my stylist always refers to my hair as being "Pantene-style" and "babe hair" so I just think about the overall picture.

I'm sure your hair is stunning. Just try not to be so hard on yourself. Don't sweat the details.


Thanks for sharing that article. Loved it!

[AnqeIicDemise]

When I was sixteen, I had terrible, terrible image issues. Fasting for weeks on end, gorging.. working out like mad. My mom never really noticed the bad habits and only gave me hassle about whenever she caught me doing obviously unhealthy things... like picking up a chocolate bar vs the bowl of salad. (yeah, she never caught on to the ice chips, tons of water and working out like mad at 1 am.)

I got a job at working for the company my parents worked for, PPG (its now defunct). PPG had major contracts with ROXY, Guess, A&F, etc. My boss, David, noticed the pattern of not eating, then stuffing myself stupid... then going back to the not eating. He saw how starved I was that sometimes I'd look at someone eating a donut, drool coming out of my mouth. 9-9 He took me to the touch up rooms to see some of the tricks and photo manipulation.

David never said anything like "Geeze, Demise, you're doing something HORRIBLE." but more along the lines of "Wanna see something incredibly cool?"

I can't say that it fixed me, because there ARE bad days and weeks where I still find myself not eating BUT, I can tell you it made me realize there was something quite off about my PoV. It made me confide in my best friend and together we got me in a more normal-like habits.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling bad occasionally. Remember that there ARE better days and there is someone out there in the world always envying something about you. As long as the good days outweigh the bad, you're doing great. Chin up. :D

Case and point: I love that hair color. I wish I could replicate it but I'd fry the crap out of my hair.

ETA: I know you posted this forever and a half ago, trilly, but I still wanted to let you know this. ^-^ I can see your'e having more good days than bad lately. YAY!

[Rusticular]

'Perfect' doesn't exist. It's an imperfect term. I could go on and on about how photos in magazines of models are photoshopped and retouched, but that's already been covered.

Media image is one of the most damaging things to a real human being I've ever considered. Not only hair, but general body image. I've had a similar outlook hair and body-wise for the last 15 years. I could never be perfect, I could never look like I 'should', and it destroyed me to the point of being unable to look in mirrors, step into clothing stores, or at times even leave the house. I got sucked into dangerous, harmful habits that I'm still struggling with now, (partly)because I kept comparing myself to these images. But you know what? I'm better than that, and so are you.

You're not fake, not a doll, you're a human being. I personally think your hair is beautiful as is, and you really should give it some consideration before you do anything drastic to it. Learn to love who you are and what you've got. :)

End over-the-top rant.

[purple dust]

When I read the original post, I was like "It's just hair!!". But afterwards I was reminded of a post I did with a similar tone: on skin.

See, just after years struggling with severe acne, I finally had a smooth face. But what I thought was body acne didn't go away, I cheerfully went to a dermatologist, who coldly said I had a "manufacturing problem" and that I had a condition known as keratosis pilaris, which has no cure. Other people's arms where my introduction to envy. "It's just skin" I replied myself with guilt. But it wasn't, one's best product is oneself and I had a manufacturing problem.

Now, after years of struggle I know salute life with smoother arms, it has cost me thrice to get there, but after a systematic approach I could. Also, how I approached the problem was working on it, but in a way that I didn't notice, like taking pills for an ailment you don't have time acknowledging. The other thing is that I STOPPED ENVYING. This is specially true for hair. We, as women, are taught to envy each other, to desire, to never be happy and please while feeling unhappy. This site is a counter-culture in a way that we couldn't care less if people think it is TOO LONG, or CO washing, WO washing or not washing at all is gross, while we can understand the point and decide. We also support each other. Hair is a way where life improvement can kick in: members usually show they want to cooperate, they like to support, they have goals, they don-t care about mainstream standars, they care about ecological issues (introducing us to menstrual cups, less packaging), health issues (gluten-free members, natural remedies), etc. So envy is a low way to let this site impact you. Please don-t apply mainstream feelings and standars to this site, it won-t leave you satisfied. However, if you stop focusing about hair while taking care of it and focusing on becoming the goddess you want to be, then you'll have TONS OF FUN!! Please, don't be one of the woman's enemies, love yourself!!

[Syrena]

It is not only about the envy. It is natural that people desire what they don´t have!:)

[Chetanlaiho]

I had to make peace with some things about my hair. It can be soft, and it is, but silky is right out. I have hair that is far to coarse for silky. I console myself with the fact that it makes it much more able to stand up to the various abuses I subject it to.

Can I tell you a secret? My hair has gotten extremely shiny. I HATE it. I look for mattefying products to tone down the crazy shine I have. There are people on this board who would kill for the amount of shine I have and hate.

Finally! I thought I was the only one who dislikes it when their hair gets shiny xD Don't get me wrong I can appreciate some nice healthy shine on a lot of people, but somehow I just prefer matte looking hair ^^;

Also my hair is far from coarse, unfortunately it is also far from silky >_< I |wish| my hair was coarse. DBF has quite coarse hair that still looks and feels silky, life is unfair xD

[ZeppHead]

There are very few that have "perfect" hair naturally, meaning without any alteration. Everything you see is fake and honestly, everyone's "perfect" is different. Chances are, that glistening blonde head you saw just spent 3 hours in the chair. Don't feel so bad, just try different things with your hair and realize everyone has good and bad days.

[halo_tightens]

Years ago, I read this article (http://www.stumptuous.com/why-dont-you-look-like-a-fitness-model) called Why Don't I Look Like a Fitness Model? It helped me to look at my workouts more realistically. I think that thinking along the same ways with our hair can help us, too.

Excellent article! :)

[archel]

I used to model. Not only were my photos Photoshopped all to heck and back, a lot of the time I wore either wigs or extensions for photos. There's no way you'll ever have perfect synthetic hair that has been computer altered to look smooth and shiny - it's not physically possible!

I found that back in the 90s when heroine chic skinny was the style that I had to just cancel all my magazine subscriptions. It is impossible to avoid all advertisements, but start with something like this and make conscious efforts to remind yourself that what you're seeing in ads is NOT REAL.

Then, make a point to look at women's hair in real life. Most women today have pretty damaged hair from our modern Western lifestyle. THIS is reality, not the advertisements!

Also - make a point to love yourself. It's hard, but you are perfect. Honest.

[archel]

If we want to get into how bad the media is, especially for women, visit www.about-face.com. Starvation imagery and images of violence against women in the media is everywhere along with damaging stereotypes and false expectations of perfection - it is up to us to use our critical thinking abilities to say NO! to this type of damaging message. Including boycotting the worst offenders...

[Zesty]

I just wanted to say that the other day I stumbled upon a YouTube video montage of long hair models. And I was devastated. I thought I had nice hair, but these women had hair that was halfway between water and silk, with mirror shine and no baby frizzy hairs to be seen. For a few moments I felt like all my hair-related efforts were for naught, because I had no idea how my hair could ever look like that.

And then I thought of all the women and men on LHC, and all the pictures I'd admired of their hair. None of them looked even close to the images in that video, because their hair is real, and their photos are usually self-taken, and they don't use any tricks. Remembering that reminded me that I want people here to be my hair role models, not anything that was created for a commercial or photo shoot. It's more realistic, and a lot less self-defeating.

[jojo]

Well I like this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3U2u1IC78U&feature=related theres hope for me yet!

I only ever take hair shots on a good day BTW!

[dulce]

I have waist length fine curly spirally hair,my dream hair is long,fully straight ,smooth and shiny,I will never have that without a lot of damage to my hair,time spent and lots of money.I have learned to accept my hair as it is and now I concentrate on making my curly hair as healthy as it can be. So much easier and healthier! All hair types can be beautiful if it's healthy , please for your own sake, stop wanting what you don't have,stop comparing yourself to others and learn to work with what you have.I promise you,you will be so so much happier if you can do this.

[Rtzgrl]

I have waist length fine curly spirally hair,my dream hair is long,fully straight ,smooth and shiny,I will never have that without a lot of damage to my hair,time spent and lots of money....

You do realize that a lot of us straight hair types have dream hair that is just like yours, right? I have always wanted curls, especially the wispy ringlets that form around your face when you get stragglers. My hair looks like straw when it escapes from my updos. But, as you say, it is important to love what you have, and for the most part I do. :)

[embee]

Yes, I have learned to love what I have, endless high forehead, thin stick straight hair, and all.

I could get a perm and have curls but they'd only last a week before the front would be stick straight again and the back all tangled up and breaking off.

I could go short, but the hair would still be thin, fine, straight... and it looks HORRIBLE permed short. ... been there done that, scared myself every time I looked in the mirror.

So I have what I have and I enjoy it a lot. Yes, I have bad days, and good days. And a broken camera. :D Always wanted long hair....

No fashion mags in this house!

[dulce]

Rtzgrl,I guess we always want what we don't have.The trick is to find a way to be able to be happy or at least content with what we do have,isn't it?

[racrane]

Perfect isn't real. Photoshop is proof of that. Be the best you can be and for that, that is perfect. But "society perfect"? That's fake.

[lapelosa]

I had to make peace with some things about my hair. It can be soft, and it is, but silky is right out. I have hair that is far to coarse for silky. I console myself with the fact that it makes it much more able to stand up to the various abuses I subject it to.

Can I tell you a secret? My hair has gotten extremely shiny. I HATE it. I look for mattefying products to tone down the crazy shine I have. There are people on this board who would kill for the amount of shine I have and hate.

So some of the very things that the OP is admiring in other people might be driving them crazy. And I am sure there are things about the OP's hair that others are looking at and saying "Why won't my hair ever do that??"
I'm one of those who would kill for shiny hair like that! I see it and think, so healthy. So pretty. My hair isn't straight, so can't advertise its healthiness through its shine. It's glattness, if you will. *german*

As an aside, I feel like I'm artificially pumping up my posts numbers because 1) I'm a hair newbie and fear I don't have anything worthwhile to add, except that I learned that the reason Giovanni is so much better for my hair than Pantene is the sulfate/silicone issue, but 2) I'm really, really curious to see other people's hair. I feel like a little kid again, at one of those little parties where everyone braids each other's hair.

[lapelosa]

Oh, fun fact: my user name in Italian means the female furry one. How apropos.

*pumping*

[Lady Dragon]

I've been trying to get into just loving my hair for what it is lately.
I'm growing out a super short cut, and am used to dying my hair insane colours.
I want long and natural... so that's what I'm doing.
Regardless of 'perfect'.

[Helix]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIX0ZDqDljA


Welp. We can't all be photoshopped, and airbrushed like what we see in magazine ads or TV. The best we can do is make the most of what we've been given.

[Helix]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIX0ZDqDljA


Welp. We can't all be photoshopped, and airbrushed like what we see in magazine ads or TV. The best we can do is make the most of what we've been given.

ETA: You may not notice it right now but there is beauty in imperfection. I find perfect symmetry and perfection to be so dull and sterile. IMO it's the quirks that set us apart from everybody else.

[fairytalehair]

yesss. what everyone says. i have pics of my hair ive taken where it looks like a scraggly mess! i have someone brush it flat for me before i take hair pics. in one of my posts (titled "My Hair Journal") i have a pic of my hair from high school-- i remember when we took that shot, in some of the pics of the hair at the sides of my head looked so thin!! but i chose the shot where it looked its best. its all about the fact that "photos" can be made perfect-- no ones hair is perfect-- not even hair models! its all the power of illusion :D

[Kyla]

When I read the original post, I was like "It's just hair!!". But afterwards I was reminded of a post I did with a similar tone: on skin.

See, just after years struggling with severe acne, I finally had a smooth face. But what I thought was body acne didn't go away, I cheerfully went to a dermatologist, who coldly said I had a "manufacturing problem" and that I had a condition known as keratosis pilaris, which has no cure. Other people's arms where my introduction to envy. "It's just skin" I replied myself with guilt. But it wasn't, one's best product is oneself and I had a manufacturing problem.

Now, after years of struggle I know salute life with smoother arms, it has cost me thrice to get there, but after a systematic approach I could. Also, how I approached the problem was working on it, but in a way that I didn't notice, like taking pills for an ailment you don't have time acknowledging. The other thing is that I STOPPED ENVYING. This is specially true for hair. We, as women, are taught to envy each other, to desire, to never be happy and please while feeling unhappy. This site is a counter-culture in a way that we couldn't care less if people think it is TOO LONG, or CO washing, WO washing or not washing at all is gross, while we can understand the point and decide. We also support each other. Hair is a way where life improvement can kick in: members usually show they want to cooperate, they like to support, they have goals, they don-t care about mainstream standars, they care about ecological issues (introducing us to menstrual cups, less packaging), health issues (gluten-free members, natural remedies), etc. So envy is a low way to let this site impact you. Please don-t apply mainstream feelings and standars to this site, it won-t leave you satisfied. However, if you stop focusing about hair while taking care of it and focusing on becoming the goddess you want to be, then you'll have TONS OF FUN!! Please, don't be one of the woman's enemies, love yourself!!

I have this too, and struggled with similar issues due to it. It was on both my arms and my legs, and embarrassed me to no end. I don't know if it's exactly the same thing, but mind got a thousand times better once I stopped comparing myself to other women, just like you mentioned. Once I let go of that envy and stopped noticing, it was like it was magic. It's nearly completely gone on my arms now, and considerably faded on my legs-although I don't think about it or notice it anymore, so it's hard to tell the progress.
Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I agree with your post! Loving yourself is truly important. Just like any part of the body, hair is beautiful in very individual ways, and you shouldn't compare yours to others, but rather celebrate it for it's own unique features. This sounds slightly cheesy, so how about some cheese? :cheese: :cheese: :cheese:

That being said, I can completely emphasize with frustration about certain things, such as split ends :/ I am envious of those with healthy, split free hair, but that's just something to work on.

[cheshire90]

All I can say is photoshop

[Sagi1982]

Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.
~Salvador Dali

Who'd posted that fitness model link? Many thanks to you! :flower:

[gretchen_hair]

I think we should learn to be happy with the hair we've got, if we enhance it, not expect it to look like it is on tv and do the best we can with what we have.

[spidermom]

This old thread took on a new life, looks like.

[ktani]

With so many options here on hair care there may be something helpful that can give one their own version of perfect hair, within the limits of their genetics.
The definition of that perfection will vary. I think everyone can learn to love their own hair when they find a hair care system that works for them. That can be a journey. It is possible though.

Will the results look like the hair in ads? One can hope to get close to that. To me perfection is a goal for the best I can do about something realistically. I was not blessed with great hair through genetics. I am happy though with the system I now use. That is perfection for me, that happiness.

[spidermom]

I think the key is in learning to bring out the best in the hair that we already have instead of looking at hair markedly different and deciding to make our hair look like that hair. I longed for straight and sleek prior to 2005 and ruined the condition of my hair achieving it. I really didn't get gorgeous hair until I decided to encourage what my hair already wanted to do naturally (wave and curl). Then it decided to change on me and fall straight-ish most of the time (the weight of the length, I assume). I should change my hair type to 1C.

[dulce]

Well said! Spidermom!!

[Demetrue]

I completely understand! I need to start telling myself "I want MY hair!", not "OOO OOO OOO I want HER hair!"

[purple dust]

Once I let go of that envy and stopped noticing, it was like it was magic. It's nearly completely gone on my arms now, and considerably faded on my legs-although I don't think about it or notice it anymore, so it's hard to tell the progress.

Hey! I went to a doctor (a highly regarded one, he loves to investigate and teach) and he mentioned that skin problems are strongly related to mind states: like stress, envy, anxiousness or depression. He wasn't new-agey at all. Just though it'd cool to let you know.

[Quixii]

Anything in print on on screen has been touched up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHLpRxAmCrw

Like so :)

One thing being married to a graphic designer has taught me, never trust ANYTHING you see.
On that note.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knEIM16NuPg&feature=related
Powerful. :agree:

[mallorykay13]

Do not burden yourself in this way, dear, it is folly. Be you, be free, be happy. Leave behind the prison of "perfection". It is a dead end.
Do you mind if I quote you on my blog?

[Othala]

Do you mind if I quote you on my blog?

Wow, sure, go ahead. I'm flattered!

[Zenity]

The best cure for anyone who thinks those models are perfect is to know whats going on from behind the screen.... And I know.

I have been a model back when photoshop was just a little help to the days where it was more important than the model herself...

I can tell you that under the right lights, right hands, right stylist, right edition soft, and right eye, miracles happen.

When I began I thought all the models would be impressive and felt quite insecure.... well, going to castings, photoshoots and all of that day after day I realized we were just the piece of foam they would model and adapt with the right tools...
Really. I've seen real beauties ditched while regular people you wouldn't look twice at the street where picked because the camera liked them.

At the end we see life through our eyes not through an screen or a magazine (thanks god!) don't be fooled by things you can do with your computer at home, instead trust your senses and what they tell you about real beauty in real people.

[celebriangel]

I saw a hair advert for L'Oreal - having not seen one in about a year from not watching tv - and I was horrified! Yes, her hair was thick and volume-y and shiny, but it looked sticky and plasticky. Not real at all. It was primped, styled, extention-ed, producted, photoshopped to "perfection" and it still couldn't compare to the beauty of the shiny, healthy, natural hair I see on LHC. It literally looked like a wig.

I use LHC people as my "hair envy" people. This has its own problems - for example, wanting much thicker hair than I have - but it keeps me aspiring to the realms of the natural and achievable.

[Kitteh]

I think hair models are good when you see them as an inspiration; bad when you see them and want to be them.

I would suggest treating real world hair models separately of those in the ads. You see someone with a hair type similar to yours? Approach them respectfully and ask for tips, if the situation seems okay and they don't seem to mind. I have gladly shared recipes with perfect strangers on the street, from the exact temperature of olive oil to baking soda rinses. Most people probably won't mind.

And the ads? What everyone else said: IGNORE them. Easier said than done, yes, but it will make you unhappy if you e.g. fry your hair to be blonde or straighten it silly to look like a Pantene ad.