PDA

View Full Version : I can't stop cutting my hair, help?



CurlAhead
August 16th, 2010, 08:29 PM
Hey guys, I hope this is not against the rules, but I need some help.
I just can't stop cutting my hair, I want to have looong, beautiful hair, but whenever I see a scissors I can't help my self! Sometimes I even go and look for a scissors so I can cut my hair. Whenever I see that my hair is damaged, I try to get rid of the damage, but it won't disappear!

I don't like my hair right now, so I'm cutting it, which makes me hate it even more, but I can't seem to let my hair be. I see how my hair gets shorter and shorter, and just curlier and curlier the more I cut. A week ago or so, my hair was BSL. Now, it's just above my breasts.

I am so friggin' close to just shave it all off, please help me, what should I do? :boohoo:

tanya222
August 16th, 2010, 08:33 PM
Wait 2 weeks before you cut any more. Then if you still totally hate it, then....

Meanwhile, look on here for some cute updos you could do that would hide the damage and protect the ends, like buns, braids, etc.

What is your hair damaged from? If it's from heat styling, maybe try giving that up for a while, do some deep conditioning and see if you notice improvement...

dayonea
August 16th, 2010, 08:40 PM
What about a gibson tuck? super cute in curly hair and it would hide your damaged ends and keep it out of the way so you aren't tempted to cut it? Also they look great with funky cool barrettes and toys hiding your 'pocket part' if you know what I mean. Any way something to think about, good luck!

CurlAhead
August 16th, 2010, 08:46 PM
Thanks for the answers. My hair is layered, some of the hair is just 1 inch.. (thanks to my magnificent cutting skills .. :rolleyes:)
I have been using heat styling before, but not for a month now. My current routine is CO, and I wash my hair with deep conditioner just to give it as much as nutrition as possible.

I have tried several buns and hair updos, but I just let my hair loose and search for split ends. It's like an obsession!

virgo75
August 16th, 2010, 08:47 PM
I just went through the same phase, so I feel your pain. :(

Right now what has me not cutting is that it's kind of even, but also kind of sloppy so that I can't see the ends and how it's growing out - even or uneven. When I had a blunt hemline I could see every little piece of what looked like damage(not even damaged really) or uneven-ness and I would trim. It's now to my shoulders and I'm done.

I also agree with tanya222 and think deep treatments are a way to go. Instead of picking up scissors, get some conditioner, honey, oil, whatever works in your hair and do a deep conditioning treatment until the feeling of wanting to cut passes. You'll also be improving your hair so you may not want or need to trim as often.

A back-up plan that I have is to go by the morrocco method of trimming by moon phases that emphasize hair growth. Link here: https://morroccomethod.com/lunar-hair-chart

That way I only cut on a schedule and worry about cutting on days that will slow down hair growth. I don't know if it works or not, but it psyches me out enough to leave the scissors alone. :lol:

Hope that helps. :flower:

LuXious
August 16th, 2010, 08:49 PM
Make an appointment with a stylist you can trust. Ask him or her to just shape it for you. This will get rid of some damage and give you a fresh look, but it will also be an investment. You may be less likely to go cutting it yourself after spending money on it, and you may be less likely to mess with the work of a professional. Just make sure it's someone you can TRUST, someone highly recommended by a friend or the best stylist you already know. Good luck. Believe me, I know how you feel.

jaine
August 16th, 2010, 08:56 PM
I remember having a similar issue a few years ago...not because of split ends but more obsessed with shape issues. The thing that helped me was getting an expensive and high-quality haircut in a style that I had no idea how to cut on my own...then I was afraid to cut it for fear of messing it up.

CurlAhead
August 16th, 2010, 08:58 PM
I just went through the same phase, so I feel your pain. :(

Right now what has me not cutting is that it's kind of even, but also kind of sloppy so that I can't see the ends and how it's growing out - even or uneven. When I had a blunt hemline I could see every little piece of what looked like damage(not even damaged really) or uneven-ness and I would trim. It's now to my shoulders and I'm done.

I also agree with tanya222 and think deep treatments are a way to go. Instead of picking up scissors, get some conditioner, honey, oil, whatever works in your hair and do a deep conditioning treatment until the feeling of wanting to cut passes. You'll also be improving your hair so you may not want or need to trim as often.

A back-up plan that I have is to go by the morrocco method of trimming by moon phases that emphasize hair growth. Link here: https://morroccomethod.com/lunar-hair-chart

That way I only cut on a schedule and worry about cutting on days that will slow down hair growth. I don't know if it works or not, but it psyches me out enough to leave the scissors alone. :lol:

Hope that helps. :flower:

Thank you, I might try that method as well! I think it will take at least 1,5 years until the shortest hair is shoulder-lenght.. :(

And I really regret letting the hairdresser cut my hair layered, because as you said, everything looks damaged, even if it's not, but I think it's damaged so I cut.. And cut.. and cut.. :(


Make an appointment with a stylist you can trust. Ask him or her to just shape it for you. This will get rid of some damage and give you a fresh look, but it will also be an investment. You may be less likely to go cutting it yourself after spending money on it, and you may be less likely to mess with the work of a professional. Just make sure it's someone you can TRUST, someone highly recommended by a friend or the best stylist you already know. Good luck. Believe me, I know how you feel.

The first reason I started to cut my own hair so much was because of a hairdresser. My hair was to my waist ( :heartbeat ) and I told her to trim the ends, just get rid of the split-ends, but only 1 inch, MAXIMUM, because I wanted to keep the lenght. I also told her to cut it layered, but just a little bit, not much! When she was done, she had cut of about 7.87 inch! It was so short, I wanted to cry! And the layers did not look good either. :(

So, have a hard time trusting hairdressers, most of them they say they understand curly hair and yet they cut it like it was straight!

VanillaTresses
August 16th, 2010, 09:00 PM
The only way I got out of this cycle was to wear scarves and bandannas for a while. Sometimes I think it is easy to get on a track about being obsessed with the condition of the hair and to kind of shoot ourselves in the proverbial foot. Sometimes the ends always appear a little damaged-- and when hair is shorter it seems really easy to focus in on the ends. I would recommend trying to focus on things aside from your hair for a little while-- just keep on conditioning it and babying it. Try putting your scissors away in a hard-to-get or hidden spot. Even better, give them to a friend for temporary safekeeping. It's worth a try, at least.

If you still feel bad about your hair after a few months of "no-scissors" etc. then perhaps you could re-evaluate. Nothing lost. :twocents:

GOOD LUCK! :blossom:

BlackfootHair
August 16th, 2010, 09:00 PM
Are you going through major stress right now? Are you taking it out on your hair? I did that before. I ended up shaving my head and wearing a wig. But I wouldn't recommend that.

Get it trimmed up to get rid of the damage if it's there, and to at least even it up, and then focus on something else. Every time you feel like cutting, find something else to do. Like squeeze clay or sniff lavender. Something that calms you...

tanya222
August 16th, 2010, 09:33 PM
The first reason I started to cut my own hair so much was because of a hairdresser. My hair was to my waist ( :heartbeat ) and I told her to trim the ends, just get rid of the split-ends, but only 1 inch, MAXIMUM, because I wanted to keep the lenght. I also told her to cut it layered, but just a little bit, not much! When she was done, she had cut of about 7.87 inch! It was so short, I wanted to cry! And the layers did not look good either. :(

So, have a hard time trusting hairdressers, most of them they say they understand curly hair and yet they cut it like it was straight!

Oh man, I fully understand about your bad experience as I had pretty much the same one! I had gone to a cheap salon that I'd never gone to before, told her 1 inch off, she did it crooked, and by the time she had evened it out I was out 6 inches! I was so mad. If she's that incompetent she shouldn't be cutting hair - if someone went in with 6 inches of hair would they come out bald? You couldn't pay me to go back to that place.

Maybe tack up some pictures all over your place of long haired gals as inspiration to not cut anymore? (if your goal is getting back to waist?)

Soraine
August 16th, 2010, 11:20 PM
You might want to try not looking in the mirror all the time and putting everything up. I did that when i was so frustrated with my hair when it was shoulder length. Clipping everything up and then just ignoring it. I refused to look in the mirror because I didn't want to know what it looked like. If you stop caring, you'll stop cutting. (I just meant how your hair looks like, don't stop with the gentle care for your hair!)

triumphator!
August 16th, 2010, 11:24 PM
Have you considered that your urge to cut may be a compulsion?

christine1989
August 17th, 2010, 01:14 AM
Many people on here have been through the same thing as you so you are not alone. The best thing to do is to stop looking for damage. Wear it up a lot with some cute clips, oil the ends and if you feel the urge to cut just tell yourself that whatever damage you have can be repaired when you reach your goal length. I suspect that all of the cutting you have done has left your ends quite healthy anyways. You probobly have far less than you think. Remember that even healthy ends can be crunchy- it dosen't mean they are damaged.

luxepiggy
August 17th, 2010, 02:12 AM
Hey guys, I hope this is not against the rules, but I need some help.
I just can't stop cutting my hair, I want to have looong, beautiful hair, but whenever I see a scissors I can't help my self! Sometimes I even go and look for a scissors so I can cut my hair. Whenever I see that my hair is damaged, I try to get rid of the damage, but it won't disappear!



maybe I'm misinterpreting this, but when you say "scissors," do you mean ANY scissors? i.e. are you cutting your hair with regular scissors that you use to cut paper and string and such? If so, that might be part of the problem as well . . .

CurlAhead
August 17th, 2010, 06:25 AM
Thanks a lot for all the answers, I'm going to try to leave the hair alone.

triumphator!: No, I have not.. I think it has to do with my obsession with having long, healthy-not-damaged-at-all hair.. I cut to improve my hair, but I fail, so hard!

luxepiggy: Sometimes, and I thought of it too, that that might be the problem why my hair keeps getting damaged, but the hairdressers I was at about 1,5 years ago cut my hair short, and when I got out, I had still split ends? :confused:
But I am going to leave all sorts of scissors alone, starting today! It's like a vicious circle.
I cut the damage off, but the scissor is not good enough, which causes more damage.
I will try not cutting it for a week, then not for a month and so on!

tanya222: That might be a good idea. I just hope I won't get too jealous, instead of using it as an inspiration! :D

alabaster
August 17th, 2010, 06:37 AM
I had the same problem until i started wearing my hair up all of the time. When it was down i would obsess over it, but when it is up you cant see the ends so you forget about it. You may also find that you have less splits by doing this. I also found that damp bunning has really helped make my hair more moisturized.

I also agree with not using just regular scissors to cut your hair if you do decide to trim yourself. I was using a cheap $10 pair of goody scissors and kept wondering why my hair looked so bad only a month or so after a trim. It was the scissors fraying my ends so they were more prone to splits. If you are like me and do not trust hairdressers and will not go to them, i highly recommend investing in a good pair of quality hair scissors and dont let anyone else near them to use them for anything other than cutting hair!!!

spidermom
August 17th, 2010, 09:08 AM
You might consider gathering all your scissors up and giving them to somebody to hold for you. Then concentrate on deep treatments and learning ways to put your hair up. One thing that most of us have to learn about hair is that it's never going to be perfect. Life damages hair; you can't put it under glass so that it's always protected.

Mexibeach
August 17th, 2010, 09:34 AM
I second going to a trusted hairdresser for shaping. The layers take forever to grow out, I know!! Then try to put it up a wee while to forget about it while it grows.

CurlAhead
August 17th, 2010, 12:49 PM
Okay, just came home from the bath. I am not even going to look at my ends, I'm just going to do a low ponytail with many ribbons(?) so that I cant se the ends.
I'm going to make it, I AM GOING TO MAKE IT!!!! :afro: :disco:

I am also going to try hiding the scissors..

spidermom
August 17th, 2010, 01:02 PM
You can't hide scissors from yourself; I still think you should give them away or lock them up and have somebody else hide the key.

CurlAhead
August 17th, 2010, 01:29 PM
You can't hide scissors from yourself; I still think you should give them away or lock them up and have somebody else hide the key.

Oh, yeah.. :D I'll have to ask my mom or so to hide them..

bunzfan
August 17th, 2010, 02:26 PM
You might consider gathering all your scissors up and giving them to somebody to hold for you. Then concentrate on deep treatments and learning ways to put your hair up. One thing that most of us have to learn about hair is that it's never going to be perfect. Life damages hair; you can't put it under glass so that it's always protected.

i understand were your coming from i tried self triming my wavy hair not a good idea one side was very and i repeat very slightly longer than the other, i went round for a week slowly triming to even it out even though it was hardly worth it.

I have worn my hair up for about two months now and i can report it does stop you from wanting to cut it i think i kept cutting as i was frustrated by it for some reason..so give it a try i have worn my hair up in buns every day.

mariika
August 17th, 2010, 03:36 PM
haha shaving - YEAH, this is the exact phase I'm going through each year)))) think about what exactly do you want to achieve when you cut your hair? do you have a certain image in your mind? do you want to look sexy or polished or fashionable or what? think about what the new cut you are trying to have is supposed to give you maybe then you will be able to figure out what is it that you really want and what cutting your hair symbolizes for you. this apparently is a substitute for some other activity you do not dare to engage into and thus you end up doing things with your hair that you cannot be satisfied with as you actually want not to cut your hair but do something that cutting your hair symbolizes. as since you are only cutting your hair and not actually doing whatever it is that you really want to do, you cannot be satisfied. you figure out what is it that you really want to do and you will be able to let go the cutting your hair thing.
yeah, I'm a psychotherapist :) you can talk to me if you want, if you do - send me a private message or smth.

LaurelSpring
August 17th, 2010, 03:45 PM
I go through this now and again. The only way around it is to stay away from any scissors. Hide them. When you feel obsessed doing the deep treatments helps because you are doing something hair related. Then, of course wear it up so you dont look at it or obsess. Set a trim date if you still want to do trims and dont touch it before or after until your next trim date.

CurlAhead
August 19th, 2010, 07:02 PM
Thank you for all the tips, I really appreciate it! I haven't cut my hair (or looked for any damage.. as much as I used to :rolleyes: ) for 2 whole days! :cheese:

I am now serious about saving out my hair, and all the layers. So no more cutting myself whenever I see a scissor, that's it! :agree:

And I will see if I am going to do minibraids, which would be good for my hair I guess, because then I can't cut my hair, right? :D

lora410
August 19th, 2010, 07:08 PM
Throw out all the scissors in the house SERIOUSLY.

CurlAhead
August 19th, 2010, 07:12 PM
Throw out all the scissors in the house SERIOUSLY.

I wish I could, really, but my mom needs at least one scissor! :D

CurlAhead
August 20th, 2010, 02:42 PM
Okay, um, I need some advice here! :p
The hair closest to my face has A LOT of split ends, should I just let it be or is there a big chance it will "eat the hear up", the strands with the most split ends are just about 1-2 inch.. :confused:

beachlover
August 21st, 2010, 03:57 PM
Give the scissors to your mom. Also, like some of the other posters said, maybe go get a professional trim and that will usually help fight the urge to trim yourself.

Antipodienne
August 21st, 2010, 05:15 PM
I had the same problem a few months ago, and it turned out that the scissors I was using were too blunt. I have a theory that they were crushing the ends of each hair, leading to splits and damage. It was a vicious cycle, but once I stopped using those scissors my hair started looking a lot better. Invest in some sharp, high quality scissors for your S+D.

CurlAhead
August 23rd, 2010, 03:50 AM
I had the same problem a few months ago, and it turned out that the scissors I was using were too blunt. I have a theory that they were crushing the ends of each hair, leading to splits and damage. It was a vicious cycle, but once I stopped using those scissors my hair started looking a lot better. Invest in some sharp, high quality scissors for your S+D.


Did you have to cut the damage off to make it look better? With good scissors, i.e.

Antipodienne
August 25th, 2010, 03:20 PM
Did you have to cut the damage off to make it look better? With good scissors, i.e.

Yeah- luckily my best friend is a hair stylist--she's the one who clued me in after much frustration. Once I knew why my hair sucked I bought better scissors and did some S+D's where I tried to keep trimming to a bare minimum. My hair shaped up almost instantly. Good luck!

jera
August 25th, 2010, 03:50 PM
Thanks for the answers. My hair is layered, some of the hair is just 1 inch.. (thanks to my magnificent cutting skills .. :rolleyes:)
I have been using heat styling before, but not for a month now. My current routine is CO, and I wash my hair with deep conditioner just to give it as much as nutrition as possible.

I have tried several buns and hair updos, but I just let my hair loose and search for split ends. It's like an obsession!

It is an obssession. Are you obssessive compulsive about other areas of yor life? I think you need to put the scissors aside and consider what is really eating you. It must be more than just your hair. I once cut the front of my hair from waist length to 1inch until a coworker talked me into stopping. I was upset about a broken relationship and decided to take it out on my hair. :( Please don't do the same to yours.


Thank you, I might try that method as well! I think it will take at least 1,5 years until the shortest hair is shoulder-lenght.. :(

And I really regret letting the hairdresser cut my hair layered, because as you said, everything looks damaged, even if it's not, but I think it's damaged so I cut.. And cut.. and cut.. :(

The first reason I started to cut my own hair so much was because of a hairdresser. My hair was to my waist ( :heartbeat ) and I told her to trim the ends, just get rid of the split-ends, but only 1 inch, MAXIMUM, because I wanted to keep the lenght. I also told her to cut it layered, but just a little bit, not much! When she was done, she had cut of about 7.87 inch! It was so short, I wanted to cry! And the layers did not look good either. :(

So, have a hard time trusting hairdressers, most of them they say they understand curly hair and yet they cut it like it was straight!

Hairdressers can be like that. Sorry this happened to you. Maybe you should hide the scissors for awhile in a high cupboard or a locked drawer so you won't be tempted to keep chopping.