Anyone else fear hair dressers as much as I do?

[newport]

I have been growing out my hair from super short over the ear short for the past almost 8 years. I started at age 47 and made a pact with a friend to grow my hair until I was 55. I turn 55 in October. It is now past my waist. I have not had a trim now for going on 3 years. I started to dread hairdressers- even for a trim they wanted to CUT. I fear them like I fear doctors now. How can I trim my ends myself and do a good job?

[spidermom]

My hair stylist is awesome, nothing to fear. Even so, I've been growing this year without trimming because I'm ready to get to goal already! I don't want to give up a single millimeter.

[Mexibeach]

I think there are videos on youtube featuring how to trim your own hair. I bought some scissors and plan to trim my own as well when it grows in enough to. Meanwhile, I share your fear of hairdressers and do not plan to visit one again (unless I can manage to successfully grow my hair out and trim only to get rid of the layers.... and we're years away from that)...

[bumblebums]

I don't fear them so much as don't find it necessary to go anymore now that I know about Feye's self-trim method:

http://community.livejournal.com/feyeselftrim

[luthien_belewen]

Well...maybe not fear them, but the past few times I've gotten...annoyed at the hairdresser. Basically I'm tired of them jumping down my throat when I say I henna (and of course, this is after they compliment me on the color). I don't even mention it to them anymore. I also get annoyed when one was trying to push me to come back for a chemical dye because my coloring was uneven (ok, so it's hard to do my own roots, no big deal!).

I've had good experiences with a more "upscale" stylist vs. the ones at the mall, but then it's more expensive to go. Since I am growing out my hair, I'll be more willing to spend a bit more money on a better stylist.

[SharkDisco]

You're not alone! I had a two year stretch where every single haircut I had was a terrible experience. One hairdresser dragged thinning scissors through my already thin and damaged hair, another gave me short "hidden layers" - layers cut underneath the bulk of my hair - in order to give me "lift and volume" (which actually resulted in huge gaps in my length and short, frizzy chunks standing out from the rest of my hair). Now when I go to get my hair trimmed I explain exactly what I want, right down to drawing a picture of the shape I want my hemline to be. I haven't had a hair disaster for a while now. I think if you give the impression you're going to be a picky, problematic customer, they'll err on the side of caution ;)

[chopandchange]

I will never go back to one.

I call them the "hair messers."

Even if you find a good one (good, in the case of hairdressers, translates as obedient) and leaving aside the question of them always cutting off more than you ask, going to a hairdresser just doesn't make sense to me any more. I've spent so long finding the right routine, the right products, the right combs, the right razor-sharp scissors, the right gentle technique...so why pay someone to use products and tools my hair isn't used to, let them handle it roughly, and turn it back into a mess?

[HuggyBear]

My mom is a hairdresser and from now on she is the only one allowed to have scissors anywhere near my hair. Everytime I have had someone else cut my hair, I have regretted it.

[Tiina]

I fear them like fire. Especially that moment when they rest their hand, still holding the scissors, on my shoulder, near my throat, and ask "So how d'ya like it?" :shudder:

I'm too much of a wuss to trim myself though and I haven't let any scissors touch my hair in half a year so I guess it's time to step up to the cutting block soon. I think I'll take someone with me as bodyguard/witness/moral support...

[Merlin]

Even if you find a good one (good, in the case of hairdressers, translates as obedient) and leaving aside the question of them always cutting off more than you ask, going to a hairdresser

The same woman has been cutting Mrs Merlin's hair for about 15 years now - she discusses what she wants and her stylist does it. She wants it just trimmed that's what she gets, she wants a foot cut off, that's what she gets. Mrs M doesn't try to dictate exactly what she wants, she leaves the details up to her stylist whom she trusts, based on years of co-operative work, to deliver the effect she wants. Before we moved here she had the same stylist for about 10 years and it was the same thing. She got the haircut she wanted, every time. And that included having her just past BSL hair permed in just the right way and and at the right time so it would look just right for our wedding.

I think it comes down to trust, asking about to find out who does a good job locally, being prepared to pay decent money for it if needs be, expecting it to not be just perfect the first time because the stylist needs to learn about you and your hair, and then using the same person every time - Mrs M went the entire length of her stylist's maternity leave without a haircut till she came back.

[Laylah]

Nah I'm not scared of them. But I've learned that you have to bring a ruler for them to measure with, because it seems that hair dressers have a different scale system than the rest of the world...regardless I haven't had a hairstylist trim for two years, but it's for the money. $10 for a one inch trim isn't worth it, and my mother is happy to help me with my hair!

[Alvrodul]

I have not had any disastrous cuts for some years now. I know what I want, and I tell the hairdresser clearly and precisely what that is. Basically, the format is, "I would like an 1.5 centimetre trim".
Any suggestions for "improvements" (like bangs, layers or whatnot) is met with a firm, but polite No.:whip:

[Unofficial_Rose]

Absolutely. And the reason for this is that I've told them I'm growing it and I just want a trim, whereupon I've had chunks cut out of the sides and 'The weight taken out at the back'. So another haircut has been needed 2 months down the line to rectify the last one. :(

And you know, I have proof of the thinking behind this. There's a reality TV show called 'Mary Queen of Shops' in the UK. Well, they had an episode where Mary was trying to revive the fortunes of a famous-in-the-80's hairdresser. She assessed the conversation between him and his victim, I mean client. The client had long hair, but wanted it shorter, with layers. By shorter, she meant APL (her starting length was waist). He gave her the most hideous pixie because he admitted he just took a look at his clients and decided what they should have, based on what he thought would suit them.

Some stylists do what you ask, others are just 'I know what I'll do with this one'. And if you are lucky enough to find the former, chances are when you need a trim, they'll have moved to a new salon, and have been contractually forbidden to tell their regulars, as that's classed as poaching. I've lost perfect hairdressers several times this way. My current one is a) a neighbour and b) the salon owner, so she won't be leaving anytime soon. But while she's excellent for one-length cuts, I think to ask for layers would be, uh, risky. :hmm:

[pepperminttea]

I call them the "hair messers."

That's brilliant, I may have to borrow that term! :laugh:

I'm not a big fan of hair stylists either. If you find a good one, they're worth their weight in gold, but I haven't been lucky yet. I self-trim now, with Feye's method for a blunt cut. It takes me 5-10 minutes, just to make sure it's even, and that's me done for another 9-12 months. Just make sure you aim to cut off half the amount you actually want off. You can always take a little more off if you need to, but better safe than sorry. :)

[LouLaLa]

I used to fear it as I had a stylist who did as she pleased rather than what I requested!

Now I have found a great stylist who listens and understands my needs and helps me realize my expectations. She is very honest about damage/overprocessing but never cuts more than is necessary. It was her who told me to quit dying my hair so all in all she is a gem :)

I wish I listened to my first hairdresser though who told me never to cut my waist length hair, she was a real keeper, but she quit to raise her family and was an amazing hairdresser!

[jera]

I share your fear of hairdressers. :( So I trim my hair myself and it looks fine. I'm sure there are some good hair dressers out there, but I've never met one.

[prosperina]

Well, I'm sure that most hair dressers are good and decent people, but I just don't entirely trust anyone holding scissors near my hair. :lol:


The hair stylists at the cheaper places tend to follow instructions, but their scissors don't seem sharp enough for me, and at the more expensive places, they always seem really disappointed that they don't get to do more to my hair...

[TinaDenali]

I fear them. My hair is finally just barely long and it really needs a trim... but I'm too afraid. I am going to just keep on treking with my snaggly hair and see where it goes... I've self trimmed four times in the past year, but those were just micro-dustings to even out my grown out angled bob.

[cindy58]

I tried a new one a couple of weeks ago. It turned out fine. She trimmed, had me look at it, and I actually asked her to take off a little bit more. I decided I'm more or less comfortable lengthwise, so a little more off just means it will last longer.

[Islandgrrl]

I don't really fear them, I just view them as a waste of my time/money at this point.

When my hair was still 2" long and I was getting regular cuts, I tried a few hair stylists until I found one who listened to me and did what I asked. And then I stuck with her. When I decided to start growing my hair again, she did maintenance trims until I was confident enough to start doing them myself. And given the fact that a tiny trim around here is just as expensive as a big haircut, I was more than ready to take on the challenge of doing it myself.

Why would I pay someone $60 for something I can do in, literally, 2 minutes myself?

[BranwenWolf]

I had one nice lady that I saw once who admired my natural hair for what it was.
I met several others that harassed me endlessly and joked about cutting my hair and said I needed a haircut.
I said "I hate hairstylists" to the face of one of them, and I'm not sorry at all.

[jeanniet]

I've actually never had a problem with a stylist in terms of cutting--if anything, they've cut too little off--but I still avoid going in for a cut because they are just too rough with my hair. It's thick and has both fine and coarse hairs, so it tangles easily and it takes patience and a gentle hand, along with a good detangling comb, to go through it. I just can't stand feeling the hairs twang and snap anymore, so I'm dusting myself monthly and when it's time for more of a trim I'll probably just do that myself as well.

[Tennessee Rose]

I'm not only frightened about hairdressers, but everybody who can cut my hair...even me!!! I'm a lot into perfectionism and I don't mind to get a trim when necessary but I want it perfect. My, supposedly, hair dresser is good, she respects what I choose to do and does it well and if she wants to cut more she asks me first, but sometimes is the helper the one who trims my hair and I though she's a nice girl I fear her a lot.

My aunt is a hairdresser too...I'm thinking to talk to her about the next trim, but I'm sure she is Edward Scissor hands alter ego by experience. So I'll end up trimming my hair myself.

[drquartz1970]

I have been growing out my hair from super short over the ear short for the past almost 8 years. I started at age 47 and made a pact with a friend to grow my hair until I was 55. I turn 55 in October. It is now past my waist. I have not had a trim now for going on 3 years. I started to dread hairdressers- even for a trim they wanted to CUT. I fear them like I fear doctors now. How can I trim my ends myself and do a good job?
Why use a hairdresser to cut your hair. If you and your friend both have long hair why not use one another to trim each others hair. That way it's not only safer but each understands the others hair goal. Or use Freya's self triming method which is listed somewhere in the articles section of LHC.

[Flossy]

I really like my hair dresser. I must be in the minority! She listens to me. I was afraid that when I last went for my colour, but didn't want a trim, she would get all antsy, but she said that 2-3 visits (translated, 6 months) between trims would be fine. She has long hair (just past waist) so I feel like she 'gets' me.

[HikerTrash]

I fear them too but not just because of what they might do to my hair. I hate the small-talk and pretending to like fashion. I don't like that stuff.

What I do for my hair is I split it in two as if to make two ponytails. I smooth the two chunks in front. Then I cut a little bit of length from each side as straight as I can. Then I bend over and let my hair fall forward upside down. I check that it's even in the very middle and even it up if it isn't.

If I don't do that, I go visit my mom and ask her to cut a little off. If my mom ever dies, I'll get my sister to do it. I just don't think I need to pay anybody anything to cut a couple inches off my hair. Even doing an amateur job isn't going to ruin long hair. It's not rocket science.

[UltraBella]

I completely adore my hairstylist. She does such an amazing job and I have so much hair and so many layers, there is no way I could trim my hair myself and I wouldn't want to even if I could. I enjoy sitting for my root retouch and my highlights and then my trim. I love the scalp massage she gives me :)
I think the first time she did my hair was a little nerve-racking for her and I both because I own the salon she works in. But it turned out fantastic and has been each time.
We get plenty of really long hair in the salon, it's quite common here, and none of my stylists would try to talk someone into cutting if they don't want to. I think most long haired women who are nervous tend to relax when they walk in and the salon owner has hip length hair :)

[christine1989]

First of all, way to grow your hair! Waist is a huge accomplishment (one I hope to reach)! Second, you can trim your own hair by putting it in a nice tight low pony and sliding the pony holder to the end then snipping it off (as much or as little as you want). There are many youtube videos on self trimming to show you visually.

[auburn]

I simply don't go to hairdressers. They're only good to ruin your hair. They're rude, clumsy, careless,even MEAN and will do everything they can to destroy your hair in the shortest time possible, cause they have other clients waiting on. Hairdressers are eviiiillll !

[tanya222]

I fear them like fire. Especially that moment when they rest their hand, still holding the scissors, on my shoulder, near my throat, and ask "So how d'ya like it?" :shudder:

I'm too much of a wuss to trim myself though and I haven't let any scissors touch my hair in half a year so I guess it's time to step up to the cutting block soon. I think I'll take someone with me as bodyguard/witness/moral support...

This made me laugh!

And yes, I do fear them! Ever since the time I asked for 1 inch off and she did it crooked and by the time she got it straight I had lost 6 inches, so yeah....

[longblondetan]

We aren't all evil I promise!!

[SarahBeth]

Put your foot down. Tell them exactly what you want. If they try to convince you otherwise, don't feel the least bit bad about getting up and walking away. You have to live with your hair decisions, not the hair dresser.

[UltraBella]

I simply don't go to hairdressers. They're only good to ruin your hair. They're rude, clumsy, careless,even MEAN and will do everything they can to destroy your hair in the shortest time possible, cause they have other clients waiting on. Hairdressers are eviiiillll !

I am afraid to ask if you are joking because I am afraid the answer will be no. But I hope you are joking because such a general statement about all hairdressers is pretty unkind. Especially since we have plenty of them on this forum and they do not seem rude, mean or claim to have an evil desire to ruin all hair they touch.
I 100% understand people being nervous or fearful of having a bad haircut experience, I think we have all had a terrible experience at some point, but that is very different than claiming they are all careless destroyers of hair.

[Neddy]

I am constantly surprised that people have had such horror stories at the hair dressers. I've been going to the same woman for years, and she's never had me do anything that I didn't want to do. If I want an inch, she cuts off and inch (this is after she cut one lock to show me exactly how much she was taking off). I don't know what places y'all are going to if the stylists try to bully you into a particular cut.

I actually just went to get my hair cut for the first time in over a year. She took four inches off (at my request!) and it looks soooo much better now. Ends are nice and neat.

[auburn]

Might be exceptions, but I never met one. And I've been to all kinds of saloons, from normal to very fancy. They're all the same.

and I've been thru a lot with my hair.

Hairdressers just want to "make art" on your head (despite of your clear demandsmany times), giving it "textures" and all kind of stuff that thin out your hair... not to mention the shampooing part, it's a torture. Oh, and the "thinning" and "texturizing" istruments... give me a spanish torture boot, same thing!
And all the chemical stuff they "arrange" your hair with after, I have to go home and wash it again, cursing and applying tons of conditioner.

I'm sory- my opinion about hairdressers will never change.

The worst stupidity proof I had from a hairdresser- I had an eyebrow piercing and the idiot chopped my fringe in such way that the piercing will show. Without telling me. And this was at one of those very expensive and fancy saloons.
This was the most stupid, but they all do stuff you don't require and than try to convince you it's good. And act offended if you revolt.
I'm just never going to a hairdresser in my life.

[auburn]

I am constantly surprised that people have had such horror stories at the hair dressers. I've been going to the same woman for years, and she's never had me do anything that I didn't want to do. If I want an inch, she cuts off and inch (this is after she cut one lock to show me exactly how much she was taking off). I don't know what places y'all are going to if the stylists try to bully you into a particular cut.

I actually just went to get my hair cut for the first time in over a year. She took four inches off (at my request!) and it looks soooo much better now. Ends are nice and neat.

a)she's a relative of yours or a neighbour or something
b)she's doped
c)the saloon has some rules that she must pay you back moral compensations from her sallary if she messes up.

Anyway, you're lucky.

[UltraBella]

Might be exceptions, but I never met one. And I've been to all kinds of saloons, from normal to very fancy. They're all the same.

and I've been thru a lot with my hair.

Hairdressers just want to "make art" on your head (despite of your clear demandsmany times), giving it "textures" and all kind of stuff that thin out your hair... not to mention the shampooing part, it's a torture. Oh, and the "thinning" and "texturizing" istruments... give me a spanish torture boot, same thing!
And all the chemical stuff they "arrange" your hair with after, I have to go home and wash it again, cursing and applying tons of conditioner.

I'm sory- my opinion about hairdressers will never change.

They are most definitely not all the same, I am sorry you have had so many bad experiences, but it's just strange to me to make such an aggressive statement about such a large group of people when logically you must know it does not possibly apply to all of them.
I am used to the members here being much more diplomatic and kind in their responses. And we have some wonderful hairdressers here on the forum who are incredibly helpful and I think most of us really appreciate them. I fully believe in expressing yourself, your post just seemed purposely harsh and over the top, so I really did hope you were kidding to some extent.
I think it's a wonderful idea for you to never go to a salon again, I certainly wouldn't want any of my stylists to have to deal with such a negative attitude.
What you posted in response to Neddy's post is offensive. Why would you take it upon yourself to put a negative spin on her nice experience ? I always hate to see good threads go bad because of posts like this, it's a shame for everyone.

[auburn]

I think the first time she did my hair was a little nerve-racking for her and I both because I own the salon she works in. But it turned out fantastic and has been each time.


This is the explenation. That's why she treats you carefully. It doesn;t come natural you know!

[JulietCapulet]

My hairdresser is so amazing...he can fix anything. However, I have been really traumatized by others. One guy totally butchered the small amount of hair I had worked so hard to grow out...it was terrible. Then one lady totally roasted my hair the first time I ever died it. Finally I found my most recent who is wonderful! The best I have ever had.

[LaurelSpring]

I dont plan on going back again. As long as I was going to the salon they just kept cutting and cutting and I got nowhere fast. I got frustrated. Plus, there was no support for my growth goals. I havent been in a good long while now. I use Feye's method when I trim. The first couple of times were a disaster but then I modified it by putting pony bands all the way down my hair to make it more stable. This helped alot. I am still not that great at it but dont plan on cutting again any time soon.

*I actually use to be a hairdresser. I did always try to do what the customer wanted. I know that the good ones are out there. If you find one treat them like gold. They are hard to find. Many hairdressers are not as well informed on long hair maintenance. I have learned a ton here that I never knew. I also find it very empowering to have control over my own hair and not have to pay someone else to do it.

[LadyLately]

I've known my hairdresser since I was small and had super long hair. She still likes to joke about the Big Chop I got at 13 and how she wants to bob it again. But! She listens very well, and if I request a trim, she trims teeny-tiny amounts until I get the look I want. She also tends to lightly oil my hair when I chem color (henna in the mail!), which I didn't even know she was doing until I asked why my hair was in such great condition for a week after a dye job.

So she sounds evil, but is actually quite good.

[veggielocks]

I think they really want to chop it all off and get a thrill. But the think I don't like most is if you get your long hair washed there, it is just laying in the washbowl or perhaps even going down the drain.
I've only been to a salon to get it cut 3 times in the last 6 years...otherwise i have my 92 year old grandma do it. :)

[EdG]

I would expect that women's hairdressers would not be nearly as evil as men's barbers. :evil:

Barbers are truly evil. They know only one hair style - short. :shudder:

Longhaired men avoid barbers entirely.
Ed

[UltraBella]

I think they really want to chop it all off and get a thrill. But the think I don't like most is if you get your long hair washed there, it is just laying in the washbowl or perhaps even going down the drain.
I've only been to a salon to get it cut 3 times in the last 6 years...otherwise i have my 92 year old grandma do it. :)

Oh Veggielocks, I hate the hair washing sinks too ! BUT .......... my salon supplier sent me an email with a new LONG HAIR SINK and it is so neat !!! It is a sink that has a large elongated tube instead of the drain and your hair slides down into it while being rinsed so there are no tangles :) I am switching out one of our normal sinks for this one and I am going to be the first head of hair washed in it. Can't wait !!!!!

[Lexy]

Mod hat on:

Clearly this is a potentially contentious issue. If you disagree and can phrase your disagreement in a respectful and kind way (remember to KNIT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=26590)), then that's great. If not, please just refrain from posting in this thread. And as always, if you see someone else say something offensive, remember to report instead of responding.

Thank you! :flowers:

[lastnite]

I don't go to salons anymore, the last time I did was to get a few inches cut off that would of been too hard for me to do on my own. I was firm with the stylist (thankful for tips learned on the long hair forums) about how much I wanted cut and she was nice and understanding about not cutting off too much. That said, she still shampooed my hair piling it on top of my head, scrubbing and had to rake the comb through the tangles.

Being on these forums I've learned it's ok to get up out of the chair and leave the salon if the stylist is being pushy. Be firm and have them show you where they are going to cut, because you don't want them taking a chunk and cutting it leaving you forced to cut the rest to match that length.

So, I'm not really afraid once I learned how to handle things at a salon. The only thing is not being able to use my own products (like herbs, sulfate and cone free products), being careful how I wash, condition and comb. Although now I'm a hennahead it would be fun to see stylists reactions to hearing I use henna.

[Neddy]

a)she's a relative of yours or a neighbour or something
b)she's doped
c)the saloon has some rules that she must pay you back moral compensations from her sallary if she messes up.

Anyway, you're lucky.

Well, firstly you're false on all counts. It's terrible that you've had such awful experiences at salons, and I fully agree with UltraBella that it would be wise for you to not go there anymore, but it just seems wrong to me to assume that your experience is typical for every person who goes to a salon. Just like in every professions, there are hair dressers who are absolute gems and others who are not as great. I do hope you were kidding to a degree, because it seems unnecessarily harsh to extend such a generalization over a broad class of people because of your own personal experiences.

And I must say I am a little offended at the way you responded to my post. Without considering the spirit of my post (my hairdresser is a lovely woman who does exactly what I ask and doesn't experiment on me), you automatically assume that she needs some other reason to be treating me nicely and with respect. I feel that you are suggesting that if my stylist didn't have one of those characteristics that you listed, she would be messing with my hair and teasing it and snipping wildly while cackling at the fact she is making art with a poor unsuspecting customer, because by virtue of being a hairdresser, she only wants to "make art" and disregard the customer's wishes. And it bothers me that you are willing to make that assumption about a person that you don't even know.

I guess I thought my post would be interpreted in a way that would reassure those who've had bad salon experiences that wonderful, considerate hair dressers do exist and are out there, not refute it out of hand because of a strong opinion and distort what, for me, is an annual experience that is quite pleasurable and enjoyable.

[akiss4lexie]

omg, one time I went in for a trim, and lost around 8 or 9 inches off my hair... it was shoulder length when they were done with it!! Ever since then, I have feared hairdressers. :(

I went to a different salon awhile after that experience, and they trimmed off the few inches I had managed to gain in length. So that's when I realized that I'd never be able to grow my hair long as long as I kept going to hairdressers. So I stopped going. It's been 3 years now since my last professional haircut, and I've been trimming my hair myself.

I don't have any tips on trimming, as I am growing out layers, and don't make any effort to keep a blunt hemline. I just snip at the areas that have a lot of splits and appear to need trimming. :shrug:

[virgo75]

I haven't been to a salon since I was 15 years old(almost 20 years ago!).

I've never had a good salon experience.
My hair was always cut shorter than I wanted, pulled out by being wrapped around a too small round brush while blowdrying, or styled into some hideous mushroom looking thing no matter how many pictures I went in there with or how long I spent trying to explain what I wanted.

After my last experience where the stylist ended up in tears because she got the round brush stuck in my hair and didn't know how to get it out, I figured I could screw up my own hair for free and have been doing it on my own ever since. :p

[zule]

I've had a few good experiences over the last 40 years, but many, many, bad ones: some horrible. Unless I go short at some point, I'll never go to a pro again. It must be boring to do a one-inch trim--I get that. But take up a hobby to excite yourself, don't take it out on my head. I won't even get a mani in a shop anymore. They always want to cut up my cuticles. No one in their right mind does that, and they even do it when I have perfect cuticles. I do my own.

Many of them are there to sell and move product. They make tons more money selling product than they do from doing hair. Many aren't good cutters, but are great at perms or color. If only shops had them assigned to their strengths, and made sure they know they are there for the customer instead of their own egos, the beauty world would be a better place.

Find a good cutter and they're worth their weight in gold. But I'm too old to spend time searching through the chaff to find a jot of wheat. The damage you can sustain during that search can be considerable, too.

My DH cuts mine, has for years, and with luck, will continue to do so for many years to come.

[joyellen]

I've had the same hairdresser for about 13 years. She listens to what I want and only does what I ask her to do. She used to be a longhair herself so she knows how upset I'd be if she just went to town on my hair. Because we know each other so well and she knows what my goals are, I don't fear her at all. That being said, I would have some serious reservations about going to a hairdresser I'm not familiar with. If you find a stylist who will listen to you and respect your wishes, you'll have nothing to fear.

As for self trimming, many members get good results using Feye's method, although I've never tried it myself.

[freckles]

I actually have not had many bad professional haircuts. I think the worst I'ver had is losing 3 or 4 inches in a 'trim' a few times. But I hate going to the hairdresser's because, like someone mentioned already, I don't like the small talk :( I'm very socially anxious, and the whole experience makes me feel like a big loser!
"you going anywhere nice tonight?"
"no ... just gonna ... stay in."
"doing anything fun this weekend?"
"um ... might ... go to the cinema."
"you got a holiday booked for this year?"
"no."
I mean, I guess uncomfortable silence would be worse, but I just wish the social convention for hairdressing wasn't to have uncomfortable chit-chat.:shrug: Not really the stylist's fault, I'm sure that's what they're taught to do, but I CANNOT relax and enjoy it. I'm glad now that I can self-trim! :D

[Merlin]

One thing I do suspect is that you may get what you pay for.

When you remember that hairdressers are highly trained professionals then it's clear that you're going to pay in line with the other professionals you employ. OK, so a 'normal' haircut (i.e. you don't want anything special done) is going to take around half an hour - well you're going to pay £40 or £50 an hour for somebody like a plumber or a sparkie, and you're actually going to pay about £20 or £25 for a haircut.

So, like any other professional, if somebody is a lot cheaper or a lot more expensive than the average, you need to ask why. Is it just that they have much lower overheads (which is possible). or they want to keep their earnings down for some reason, or....something else?

[Catarina]

I just found a great hairdresser and he was actually willing to take alot less off to shape my hair, but since I want some damage to cut out, and get to back to my dark color at the end of the month, I requested he cut more when he said he could do it without taking much off. He even suggested I wait three months before trimming to get longer, unless I liked the length it was now. It's just a matter of finding the right person who's willing to listen. Maybe you could request someone who is long hair friendly? I just happened to get lucky with this guy and I'm so glad he was the one that did my hair that day instead of the others there.

[Sunsailing]

The key is to find a stylist you trust and ONLY go to her/he. Don't go to a different stylist each trim. I've been going to the same one since I've began growing mine 10 years ago. When I want 1/8" off, that's what she takes off.

To find a trusted stylist, ask other long haired people if they mind sharing the name of the person they go to. Usually they will take your question as a compliment :)

[little_acorn]

I :love: my stylist - I've gone to her for over 5 years now and she has the most gorgeous waist length wavy, thick hair :). We had a lot of fun together over the years dyeing my hair bright red and dark purple and now I'm growing long and going dye free we have just as much fun. She also only cuts what we agree on, which since I've been an LHCer she suggests a lot less than previously - must be all that LHC :magic:

[chopandchange]

.
I said "I hate hairstylists" to the face of one of them, and I'm not sorry at all.

I personally don't agree with saying it like that.

I do not hate hairstylists. For all I know they might be very nice people.

I hate what they do to my hair.

I think one must be careful with using the word "hate" because it's such a strong word. It's much better to phrase a sentiment of that kind by saying "I hate it when people do XYZ" rather than saying "I hate people who do XYZ."


I really like my hair dresser. I must be in the minority! She listens to me.

I think it's your hairdresser herself who is in the minority, not you! :)

As I just pointed out above, those of us who complain about hairdressers don't dislike them as people, but rather, we dislike the fact that they often ignore our instructions / handle our hair roughly.


I think most long haired women who are nervous tend to relax when they walk in and the salon owner has hip length hair :)

That's not necessarily true (at least in my case). The main things I used to observe about the stylist's hair, apart from the length, are: does it look healthy? Is it virgin? Has it changed colour (again) since the last time I visited the salon? Are they sporting yet another new "look" or colour? Is it full of product and scrunched and messed and "styled" and damaged looking? If it's long, is it heavily layered? Does their haircut follow the current "fashion?"

These, to me, are all bad signs, because generally speaking a hairstylist who loves messing around with their own hair, rather than wearing it clean and natural, will also enjoy messing around with their clients' hair. Rather than agreeing to do a small trim, they love persuading them that their long blunt natural hair is "boring" and that they ought to do something new to it, or that it's dragging their face down or making them look too young or too old or some such nonsense, or perhaps it's time for a change just for the sake of it.

This may not always be the case with all stylists, but in my experience it has always been so. :(

I do not understand why so many hairstylists fail to grasp a basic fact: they are paid money to carry out a service specified by the client. Many, many hairdressers fail to grasp this. They think "they know best." Even if you've told them you only want an inch off, they'll take three because "I know we said just one, but the ends really needed three taking off." This is unprofessional. It's fine for them to give feedback and advice, and say "in my opinion, I should cut more off" but if the client acknowledges said advice but still insists on the one inch only, they should do as they're told. If you hired a painter to come and paint your house white, and he nodded and listened and then went ahead and painted it blue but then still demanded his money, he would soon be out of business. So why do we put up with it from hairdressers?

I think there have been too many makeover shows where people are given free reign to give someone a makeover and transform their image in any way they want, and it's having an effect on the way hairdressing is perceived. I recently saw a programme (Mary Queen of Shops, for anyone who's in the UK and may have seen it) when a guy's failing hairdresser business was failing entirely due to the fact that, as soon as a client walked through the door, he was eying them up and deciding exactly what cut he thought would look good with their face shape, and already planning what he was going to do to their hair, before he'd even asked them what they wanted! Most times he didn't even seem to really ask them what they wanted at all but just went ahead and did whatever he wanted himself.

Now, there may be a place for this, because some people are happy to have an image change and just put themselves in the hands of a stranger and say "surprise me!" but there are those of us who don't want this, and who just want to be able to walk in, give our instructions, and pay money to see said instructions carried out.

If there were some kind of hairdressing salon that specialised in carrying out exactly what the customer asked for, where they had a promise that they would only do what you asked and nothing more, I would be a regular customer. But, at the moment, there isn't.

Maybe we should open a salon teaching people how to trim their own hair! That would be a hit! I can see it now: rows of people sitting on chairs leaning forwards, scissors in hands, being given instructions by LHC staff on how to proceed with a self-trim...:D

[longblondetan]

The fact that some people say all hair dressers are "evil" and "stupid" is just rude. I am a hair dresser, this personally offends me.

[Camee]

I haven't visited a salon in nearly four years. Not since three occasions when I went in for trims, mentioned I was in the process of growing it out and asked for an inch to be taken off; they took off between 4 and 5 inches. After being asked (each separate cutter) told me "Oh, I was just taking off the damage! Isn't that what you wanted?". No, dammit! If I wanted you to take off the damage, I'd have asked for it!

Now I self trim, and I'll only have myself to blame if I don't like how much length I've lost.

[Toadstool]

Only recently I had a bad cut. It was with a student and where she cut the sides it looked sort of holey.
Normally I find hairdressers helpful and skilled professionals. They will do what I ask and advise or suggest other things eg cutting into the length to thin it. If I say no, they respect that.
So no I'm not scared of hairdressers from that point of view, but I am scared they'll think I'm not glamorous enough to use their services! But I know that's me, not them.

[Toadstool]

I think it's a wonderful idea for you to never go to a salon again, I certainly wouldn't want any of my stylists to have to deal with such a negative attitude.


Beautifully put!!

Hairdressers are not evil. They are human beings. Some are highly skilled, highly trained professionals. If a hairdresser doesn't listen to you then complain and go to a different salon. If enough people did that and they were aware of why, they might change and start listening.
Personally I have had hairdressers be rude to me about my hair colour and so I've never gone back to those. The ones I will keep going to are those who are polite and make an effort to understand what I want and explain if it won't work why, and what alternatives they are. If I say don't touch the fringe, then they don't. There are lots of hairdressers like this in my town. Rudeness is the one thing I find unforgivable so I only go to the polite, respectful ones.

[Merlin]

I'd also suggest that there is a subtle difference between telling somebody what you want to achieve, and how you want them to achieve it. I spend a lot of time turning other people's ideas into reality and it works like this: they tell me what the goal is, what they want to have at the end and then they leave the mechanics to me because that's what I do. When you hire a plumber you don't tell them how to achieve the end result (at least I hope you don't), you tell them you want a cold water outlet in such and such a place and then they work out how they're going to get it there and if there are downsides to the various alternatives they'll point them out.

Our (because Mrs M and I go to the same place) hairdressers deliver the effect we want. In my case it's easy because I just need the last one replicated, but when Mrs M wants something different she does it in terms of 'about this length' and 'somehow softer around the front' or 'something I can curl' and makes sure that they're both singing from the same message regarding the effect - then sits back and lets her stylist deliver it because she trusts her to do that. Where I think it gets difficult is if you want to both dictate the effect and the means to get there because you're needing to find somebody who will do it your way rather than theirs. I know it tends to be harder when the people I help want to tell me how to do the job as well as what it needs to be like in the end....

[Lamb]

The worst stupidity proof I had from a hairdresser- I had an eyebrow piercing and the idiot chopped my fringe in such way that the piercing will show. Without telling me. And this was at one of those very expensive and fancy saloons.
This was the most stupid, but they all do stuff you don't require and than try to convince you it's good. And act offended if you revolt.
I'm just never going to a hairdresser in my life.

Colour me confused. How on earth is a hairstylist to know that you don't want a piercing (which, supposedly, you had put in by your own free will, on your face) to be seen by others? :confused: Most people with a nose/lip/eyebrow piercing don't have it so they can hide it.

Auburn, I must say your posts sound like you are on a one-person vendetta against a whole profession. I am surprised, I've read plenty of hairdresser-threads here but I've rarely seen such aggressive, venomous posts. :no:

I usually go to a very cheap salon for trims, and I always get exactly what I want. No more, no less. AND the stylists are pleasant to deal with. I always try to give a large tip, I don't think they get to take much home at a $15/cut place.

Only last month, I got a small trim at a place which specializes in quick touch-ups and trims. They don't do dye-jobs or perms, only haircuts. For real cheap. Best trim I ever got in my life, too, and I think the stylist who did it was a student.

So yes, there are some excellent people working in salons.

As for the unwanted chemicals, or unwanted styling - well, hairdressers are not mind readers. :rolleyes: If you don't tell them, directly and clearly, what you want, they will do what they think would look good. But the fault is yours if you don't give them clear instructions.

[Lamb]

The main things I used to observe about the stylist's hair, apart from the length, are: does it look healthy? Is it virgin? Has it changed colour (again) since the last time I visited the salon? Are they sporting yet another new "look" or colour? Is it full of product and scrunched and messed and "styled" and damaged looking? If it's long, is it heavily layered? Does their haircut follow the current "fashion?"

These, to me, are all bad signs, because generally speaking a hairstylist who loves messing around with their own hair, rather than wearing it clean and natural, will also enjoy messing around with their clients' hair.

I think it's more likely that stylists change their hair often because most of their clients (not the ones who favour terminal length, unlayered, virgin hair) expect a stylist to look fashionable, trendy, creative. Stylists are the mannequins of their own business, they know their looks sends out a marketing message to clients. And most of these clients are not trying to grow out their hair down to their hips, and going grey naturally. :twocents:

[LisaButz2001]

I agree with longblondetan. I admit that I'm always very nervous, when I go to a salon, because finding a stylist who a) does not act as though maintaining my one length blunt cut is a waste of time and b) can french braid (that one where the sides are totally smooth and it looks as if the braid is lying on top of your hair and not part of it, if that makes sense.) is hard.

But I would never call him/her "EVIL" I mean, I've been in a salon where the salon owner actually said, "Oh you can cut her hair shorter than that, she'll never miss it." Luckily the stylist didn't listen. However, "EVIL" seems like completely unnecessary character assassination.

[rusika1]

Wow. Some of you are being absolutely nasty. You can't take YOUR bad experiences and jump to the conclusion that ALL HAIRDRESSERS ARE EVIL.

Do your homework.
Before you go to someone new, ask them questions. Do they have other long-haired clients? Do they use scissors or razors? How do they feel about layers? How do they feel about tapered ends? Do they have a portfolio they can show you?

Pay attention to what he or she does while you're there. If you're having a shampoo before the cut, how is your hair being treated? Is the length being treated gently, or wadded up and scrubbed? During the comb out, is the stylist gentle, or is the comb being ripped through your hair? You can always pay for what's been done and leave if you aren't happy with the way your hair is being handled.

Finally, while anyone can have one or two bad experiences (with anything, not just hair salons), if bad things happen EVERY SINGLE TIME, maybe it's you. Just like some women keep going out with the same type of man--the verbally abusive guy, or the charmer who keeps cheating on her--some people keep picking the same type of hair stylist.

(Me? These days I just go to the local beauty college the once a year or so I feel the need to have someone else trim my hair. And then, I'm perfectly willing to tell them, politely, if they're doing something 'wrong', and explain why long hair needs to be handled differently. Last time, about 1 year ago, the guy I got already knew the proper way to shampoo, comb and trim long hair! Both he and his wife had long hair in the past. I didn't have to give any pointers, just compliments! Positive reinforcement is always nice.)

ETA: telling them they're doing something wrong translates to things like "please try not to scrub the ends when you shampoo, you'll never get the tangles out" or "You'll probably need detangling spray" or "It's usually easier if you start from the bottom and work up" or "I find that it's easier to comb through if you divide it into small sections."

[nellreno]

I have finally found a hair stylist that's good about doing what I ask without taking too much off or just messing up my hair completely. Unfortunately it's pretty expensive to go to him for just a trim, so I just do them myself nowadays.

I only have two bad hair stylist experiences. One was kind of recent,back when I was coloring my hair. I went to have my hair colored and when the one guy went to wash my hair, he piled it on my head to scrub it, and of course it got really tangled so he tried to get the tangles out with a bristle brush. O.o I had to ask him to use a comb.

The other was a few years ago. I went to a friend of the family to get my hair cut. At that point my hair was at shoulder length, and I wanted it a little shorter, like mid-neck, and some bangs. She started cutting in the back, and after a while said "Well it's going to be shorter than you wanted". She honestly thought it was acceptable to do that. Since she had already cut off my hair I had to let her finish, and I ended up with a pixie that was really poofy on top.

Honestly the one thing I really dislike about going to a hair salon is having to try to make small talk with everyone.

[slythwolf]

Well, I don't fear them, no. I have some anxiety about it, but that's because I am totally clueless about tipping.

But then, I also:

- don't intend to do any trimming other than S&D until I reach my goal length, after which I will self-trim like I have for the past 6 or 8 years
- now feel I know how to do enough of a variety of styles and pretty enough updos that I will never have to get my hair done for a special occasion again
- can't afford it anyway

[Nevada Rose]

I swore I would never go back into a salon after my hair was ripped out at the roots from a reverse frosting where the hair is brought out in sections threw holes in a cap. Of course this happened many years ago, I doubt that this is used today. The owner of the shop said the hair stylist had a chemical imbalance after losing 200 pounds. The owner took care of my hair personally after that episode, at no cost. Well, 25+ years later I still have not been in a salon.

[UltraBella]

Chopandchange, I was speaking about my salons in particular when I mentioned the owner having hip length hair. I do think most women growing their hair out feel more comfortable of their long hair being excepted if they see my hair upon entering the salon for the first time. Yes, my hair is colored and layered, but there is no denying that it is thick, healthy and beautiful. If everyone in the salon had short styles I think it would be much more difficult to relax if you were a first time long haired client. However, the best stylist for long hair that I employ has hair that is only 4 inches long, so you have to be open minded :)

[Speck]

(someone take my hand)

kumbaya my lord, kumbaya...










Lighten up people! :p

[Demetrue]

Yes, I have tremendous anxiety about going to the hair dresser because I have never ever fit in with societal norms as I was growing up (and still don't). I was old-fashioned, sensitive, intellectual, romantic, loved classical music and poetry, did not watch the latest TV shows or dress in the latest styles. I also didn't gossip, follow the latest celebrity news, didn't understand how to flirt or attract a guy, wasn't trying to look sexy, follow fads or trends, etc. I was always that wierd, nerdie girl with the glasses and long blonde hair.

Now I'm that eccentric middle-aged woman with the gray witch hair that needs a style make-over. Problem is that I do not want or need a make-over - I want to be respected, accepted and listened to. Invariably I know that I will hear that I should cover my grays so I will look ten years younger, chop my hair short in an edgy new do so I will feel fresh and not drag down my long face, get contact lenses and stop "hiding" behind my glasses, my hair, my loose flowing clothing, whatever. I've never been the pretty girl or the beautiful girl or even the "normal" girl, so I dread going to hair salons or make-up counters where I usually get the attitude that under their expert tutelage, the ugly duckling will turn into a swan. Yes, I am defensive, but I got that way from years of experience.

[VanillaTresses]

Yes, even though I have had about 75% very talented, nice hairdressers; the 25% that were otherwise have truly ruined it for the rest. For I am now scared of going again! I am guessing that the next time I will go to a hairdresser is perhaps to get a wedding updo. Hopefully no cutting will be necessary!

[LisaButz2001]

Chopandchange, I was speaking about my salons in particular when I mentioned the owner having hip length hair. I do think most women growing their hair out feel more comfortable of their long hair being excepted if they see my hair upon entering the salon for the first time. Yes, my hair is colored and layered, but there is no denying that it is thick, healthy and beautiful. If everyone in the salon had short styles I think it would be much more difficult to relax if you were a first time long haired client. However, the best stylist for long hair that I employ has hair that is only 4 inches long, so you have to be open minded :)

Ultrabella, it's so funny that you say ths, because it's true. I'd relax if I saw you, and then totally freak if the stylst you put me with had 4 inch long hair. One does need to be open minded. I hope that by airing their feelings and grievances on this board more people will develop the open mindedness that prior bad experiences have robbed them of. Although, I'm amazed more members don't seek out the stylists on our boards in real life, if any are geographically accessible. I would in a heartbeat!

[Qwerty Uiop]

I haven't been to one in over 20 years. I fear going to the hairdresser the way some people fear going to the dentist and love going to the dentist the way some people love going to the hairdresser.

I have fairytale ends. I don't trim and I like it that way.

[Luna12345]

I am also unable to trust a hairdresser because I've had many bad experiences .....theres a way to trim ur hair urself...if u don't mind it being layered. You can look down and comb all your hair towards your face. while looking down you brush it so it's even and cut straight. When you flip your hair back it will be layerred and won't look much shorter.

[Zindell]

I fear them. :)

I haven't been to a hairdresser for years now. Me and my DD trim each others hair.

[Chestershire]

I'm so glad my mum has hair dressing skills

[Angeletti]

I haven't been to a hair dresser in over three years due to a bad layering job and cut. I'm at the point now where my hair needs to be trimmed because my hemline has turned into fairytale ends, so I will probably just do micro trims every month myself that way I don't have to worry about spending money and getting seven inches hacked off instead of 1/2" like the one member on here just had happen! My hair is long enough that it's pretty simple to cut it myself.

[Arielle8960]

I don't fear hairdressers as much as I fear a bad result. And in my experience, I've been partly responsible for the bad results by not being extremely firm, bringing in a ruler, asking to keep my glasses on so I can see, etc.

I had an amazing hairdresser in the last place I lived. I hear what UltraBella says about feeling comfortable when you see a fellow longhair -- my hairdresser had the hair of my dreams. She made suggestions but never pushed me if I declined. When I moved and later returned to visit friends, I made an appointment with her, but I haven't been back in 4 years. Since then I haven't found anyone great, so I self-trim and hope I don't want anything more complicated than that for awhile.

I feel bad for those with the "horror stories". But from what I've experienced and seen on these boards, there are hairdressers that really seem to love hair -- long hair included!

[thebirdofhermes]

I swore I would never go back into a salon after my hair was ripped out at the roots from a reverse frosting where the hair is brought out in sections threw holes in a cap. Of course this happened many years ago, I doubt that this is used today. The owner of the shop said the hair stylist had a chemical imbalance after losing 200 pounds. The owner took care of my hair personally after that episode, at no cost. Well, 25+ years later I still have not been in a salon.

Actually, they still do that. The one time I had my hair highlighted, that was the method used. And this was back in November, I believe. (It turned out quite nicely, for the record. I just don't feel like paying for highlights again.)

That said, I'm not afraid of going to the hairdresser. I only really have one hard and fast requirement: That they do NOT do my mother's hair. My mother and I look quite alike, which is all well and fine, but we have radically different hair (seriously, the only way my hair could be more different from hers is if it formed ringlet curls) and every last hairdresser who has done her hair ends up treating my hair like it's hers. Which just doesn't work!

Since I've stopped doing that (a feat made easier by being an adult), I've never had a truly awful experience.

It does help, though, that I leave no uncertain terms about what I want, and the stylist is not allowed to make the first snip until I see how much is coming off. That tends to drive the message of, "You are not doing what you want to my hair; you are doing what I want to my hair," home pretty well. I'm all about being co-operative and not telling a pro how to do their job... to a point. While I wouldn't tell a plumber how to install a faucet, I would specify where and what faucet he is to install. So while I wouldn't tell a hairdresser how to cut hair, I would specify how my hair is to be cut. (If that makes sense.)

[Qwerty Uiop]

I did, actually, have a VERY good experience taking my little boy to have cornrows put in. The stylist was respectful of my request not to use commercial products in his hair, didn't make any disparaging comments about his cradle cap, and made a point of telling me that she was using scissors to cut the COLOURED EXTENSIONS she put in his hair for a Reggae festival, but not his actual hair.

We will be going back to her for more braids and if he ever wants it trimmed or cut or dreaded.