Help! I don't know what to do with my hair anymore

[iceyblue]

I've been reading quite a bit on LHC and tried a few methods but nothing seems to be working on my hair?

I have permed and chemically colored hair from a few months ago but i did not take good care of it so now... my hair is very dry..
I don't brush my hair or blow dry so i'm not sure why is it still so dry.

I tried CO with HE conditioners which made my hair really moisturized.But i also had a lot of hair breakage. I read about SMT but since i didn't have a cone and protein free conditioner i tried using EVOO to replace the conditioner,
which my hair really hated. It got so hard to rinse out with CO or even SLS shampoo i had to wash so many times , then my hair got even dryer before i started CO.

I also prepoo sometimes with camellia oil and also use it as a leave in. I've been trying CWC now with a cone free conditioner as the first C, and a cone conditioner as the second C.

However, the ends of my hair is still dry ): It feels wiry, brittle and poofs up. Has a lot of white spots . I did trim off my split ends myself but i realized i did not have that much of split ends, but plenty of white spots.

any advice please ? thanks ! :(

[Medievalmaniac]

As a former chemical head (if you look up my one-year anniversary thread, you will find a picture of my hair in all its fried glory) I understand what you are dealing with. When I started growing it out, honestly, I was so disgusted that I chopped my hair back to my ears. But I don't think necessarily you have to go that drastic. I would encourage you to take off the bottom inch to inch and a half or so, to even up your hemline and make you feel like you are doing something proactive. How you feel about it is going to make a big difference.

Secondly, slow down in terms of what you are trying. If you have tried CO, but had a lot of breakage, then you will have to be patient - the damaged parts will probably break no matter what you try, and meanwhile, you are just frustrating yourself and fretting over something you can't really change. If the hair that is left feels healthier and is manageable, then CO is working for you.

I would advise you not to use EVOO or any other super-heavy oil on your hair for the time being until it gets stronger and the damage has grown out more, it will weigh it down and the damaged bits are more likely to break with extra weight/pressure. Stick to coconut oil, or flaxseed oil, or one of the lighter oils, and don't use a huge amount. SMT is a wonderful thing, but definitely you need the conditioner in there for it to work.

I would also encourage you to go to an every few days regimen in terms of washing and/or conditioning and to coat the ends in oil and wear them bound up, rather than down, as much as possible, to baby them.

Read Nightshade's article on caring for damaged hair - it was the most helpful thing I read when I was starting out.

Good luck!! Hang in there and don't get discouraged - it will take time and patience, but you will get there!!! :flower:

[julliams]

Go ahead and do the SMT weekly (even twice weekly if you can). Oil the ends and generally baby your hair. It will honestly take many months before you start to reap the benefits. I got frustrated at first because I would do a treatment and expect it to be fixed. I've only now (9 months later) got to a stage where I think my hair looks moisturised, healthy and not "in need" of something. I think also in that time, I've come to accept my hair for what it is and learn to actually like it airdried without any further manipulation. That's a big thing for me!

[iceyblue]

Thank you so much for the comments!
i think i've been too impatient for results... The problem with CO is that i lose more hair compared to s & c, but i think it might be of stress so i'll probably go with CO again !
Probably get coconut oil too (:

Do you guys think i should go cone-free or just stick with it? I tried going cone free but my hair became a total mess ..

thank you so much (:

[pepperminttea]

Ouch. When I had my hair dyed and permed it was a nightmare, so I can imagine. I'm with Medievalmaniac - be kind to your hair, light oilings, updos, and patience. Here's a link to Nightshade's article (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79). It's very much worth the read. Good luck.

ETA: It's a bit of a double-edged sword with cones, I'd experiment and see what you prefer. They'll weigh your hair down, but on most people, especially on processed hair, they'll make it easier to detangle, which means less damage. But, they also might dry your ends out, and make oilings a bit redundant.

[Henrietta]

For white spots I'd recommend you S&D. I have them too and S&D helps, without cutting the ends totally;)
Coconut oil. It takes time but it's worth waiting and in a fact nothing gives a magic effect in one night. Personally, after 5 months, I see the HUGE difference. My ends are as smooth as the rest of my hair!
And BBB. Chemistry helps, but smoothing your ends physically makes a difference too:)

About cones... Maybe they make your hair dry? First days of being cone free could be terrible, but... you can at least try. I think that things like coconut oil cannot really get to your hair if you have a coat of cones on it.

[babybabycat]

Hello Iceyblue, just keep hanging in there! When I found this board, I was searching for something make my hair softer from a salon disaster. I found that Cinnamon Hair recommended Loreal Natures Therapy Mega Moisture Conditioner...this stuff works wonders on my hair! Also, light oiling with coconut works too. When my hair feel super dry I use some Ojon Hair Treatment or some shea butter.

[Nightshade]

Oh that sucks. Been there with a head full of chemically-trashed hair. :(

I see someone has already linked you to the Damaged Hair Article, but in case you missed it, it's linked again in my siggy :)

Take your time, it'll come around. Lots of love and lots of very, very small frequent trims!

I wouldn't try to use straight EVOO, but perhaps try Fox's Shea Conditioning Cream? My hair HATED oils (it still doesn't like them much, but it tolerates them now that it isn't so damaged), but the shea cream worked really well for me.

SMTs never did anything for me.

Cassia might also be another thing to look into :)

[Medievalmaniac]

ALSO, I would definitely suggest ditching the hairbrush, if you use one, and switching to a comb. The ones sold by hairsense and heavenly harvest are extremely good, but any smooth wooden or horn/resin comb will do. Take your time and detangle gently after washings, starting at the bottom and working up, and if you wear your hair up then you won't have to comb/detangle as often. I have definitely found that I am more aware and cognizant of what I'm doing when I comb than when I use my brush; now, I only use the BBB to do scalp massages and to distribute oil, and otherwise I comb daily once in he mornings, then again at night if it seems necessary. I don't yank through with the comb the way I tend to do with the brush - I "have" to slow down and pay attention. This has really helped me with breakage. I don't notice breakage when I'm brushing, but I can SEE it when I'm combing. :)

[iceyblue]

Thank you all very much for your help! all your comments are very very helpful and i really appreciate them!
Well i guess i should get coconut oil and once my cone conditioners finish i'll experiment with going no cone (:

Because of my permed hair i don't comb/brush my hair at all, i only fingercomb in the shower..
Maybe i should start now.

Thank you all for the great advice!!

[Alvrodul]

Thank you so much for the comments!
i think i've been too impatient for results... The problem with CO is that i lose more hair compared to s & c, but i think it might be of stress so i'll probably go with CO again !
Probably get coconut oil too (:

Do you guys think i should go cone-free or just stick with it? I tried going cone free but my hair became a total mess ..

thank you so much (:
I am currently trying out a cone-free regimen. I am not certain that my hair likes that quite yet, but I should at least try it a couple of months, I think.
I am also trying out CO, but I suspect I will end up with CWC a lot of the time. And I am also experimenting with oils - so far I have found out that my hair likes coconut oil and jojoba, but definitely not almond.
Just persevere! You have a lot of friends here who are ready give advice, commiserate with you on setbacks, and generally hold your hand when you need it.
And of course, help you celebrate your successes!:D

[LouLaLa]

I had very overprocessed hair and you just ahve to be patient with it, afte rall you have been trashing it for months so it isnt very happy!

My hair was VERY dry a few months ago so I quit using any hair dye, switched to CO only, NEVER comb when wet, massage my scalp to distribute the natural oil (I feel this has been vital) put it in a braid to sleep and use a tiny bit of leave in conditioner on the very bottom of my hair. I also use detangling spray throughout the day just to "mist" my hair with a bit of moisture which for some reaosn works quite nicely :)

My hair is back to feeling like real hair again now and when it grows a little longer I will trim it but all in all its recovered very well.

I think the main thing is to just leave the hair alone to recover and itll get a bit better (id try wear it up if I were you), you cant "fix" damage but it should be ok as long as you treat it nice.

Good luck!