She chews on her hair!

[BrightEyes]

Ok, fellow LHCers, I need your help.......

My daughter will be 4 in a couple months. Her hair is currently between her chin and shoulders (about like mine). She often tells me that she wants to have long hair, so we start to grow it. But when it gets long enough that she can put the sides in her mouth, she sucks and chews on it constantly. I find myself continually asking her to get her hair out of her mouth, but moments later she's sucking away again. At the end of the day when I comb her hair, the side locks have dried stuck together from her sucking on them. And it hurts her when I try to comb it out. I also start to notice that those locks of hair will begin to look dry, frazzled, and well....chewed on.:rolleyes: At this point, I usually get frustrated and cut her hair into a cute bob (which does look good on her).

I've noticed that her hair is once again getting long enough for her to put in her mouth. I'm tempted to cut it, but I know that she does want long hair. So I'm not sure cutting would be the best thing for her.

I've tried putting her hair in pig tails, using clips to hold the sides back, and I've even attempted a french braid (which with my braiding skills, it was pretty impressive that I actually tried LOL). But nothing stays in her hair very long. She pulls everything out, and then starts chewing away....AACCKK!

So, I'm in need of some advice. Is this just a phase that she's going through, and that as she gets used to longer hair she will eventually stop? Or is there something I can do to help her stop? I've thought of some kind of reward system ("if you don't chew on your hair for this long, then you can get/do this"), but I haven't had consistent luck with that yet in other areas. Or should I cut her hair short until she is old enough to help care for it?

I really want to respect her choice to have long hair. Her hair is blonde with loose curls, and I think it would be beautiful long. But her chewing and sucking on it is driving me crazy.

I'm at a loss for what to do. Any help/ideas would be greatly appreciated.:)

[luxepiggy]

you know, I think I used to do this when I was a kid . . . I'd totally forgotten about it until I read your post. Honestly, I would just tell her she can start growing her hair when she's able to keep from chewing on it! I had long hair as a kid, but it does take a certain kind of kid who's a little more conscientious (I think that word appeared on every single one of my report cards from kindergarten onwards :p)

after all, why have long hair that looks all scraggly, right? (^(oo)^)

[Tabihito]

You could try what we did with my little brother, though he liked to chew on the collar of his shirts, not his hair. At most pet supply stores and probably a lot of grocery stores with pet sections, they sell a "bitter apple" spray to discourage puppies from chewing on things they aren't supposed to. It tastes horrendous, so if you sprayed a little bit on the ends of her hair, she probably wouldn't be too inclined to put it in or anywhere near her mouth.

The downside is that if she touches it and then puts her fingers in her mouth, she could quite easily end up with the taste from that as well. Granted, you could possibly consider that a bonus, given how germs spread. It could also transfer to food from her fingers, depending on what she's eating, so it would be best to make sure she always washes her hands before eating.

Most brands of it are entirely natural, no nasty chemicals since it's intended that the dog will at least ingest some of it until he or she learns, and I suppose the same can go for children.

[TinaDenali]

I also used to do this as a kid, but not as often as your girl does. I'd do it when I was bored in school or in the car or something, not all the time.

If it were me, I'd just keep her hair short for the next several years and chances are she's bound to just forget about it. And maybe when she's a bit older she can grow her hair out and will be past the sucking on stuff age. I wouldn't remind her that she used to do this, though, if you have her grow it out in the future.

Just my 2 cents! :D

[Sheltie_Momma]

When my son was four he chewed on his shirts and jackets. On t-shirts he would suck and chew the collar, not to mention stretching the neck out. He had holes in all his shirts. One day he chewed part of the zipper off of a brand new hoodie, his lips were bloody from it! I was so mad. Mad at him and at daycare for letting him chew that much. What I did was get a spray bottle of vinegar and sprayed his collars every single day for about a month, long enough to break the habit. It doesn't hurt anything and it tastes bad enough to be a deterrent. Good luck, it will pass!

[HairFaerie]

I used to chew on my hair as a kid. I had tailbone length hair most of my childhood. I can honestly say I liked the texture and taste of it as a child, that's why I chewed it. (Ewww!) I think young kids explore the world in that way.

My mom would scorn me for chewing it, but she never threatened to cut it off or anything like that. I eventually grew out of the hair chewing stage, thankfully, when I started school at 6 years old.

I also look back and think it was a nervous habit. (I know you must be thinking "How could a 3 or 4 year have a nervous habit?" but it happens.) In later years I traded in the hair chewing habit for nail biting. I gave the nail biting up in high school and traded it for smoking! AGH! Deep psychological analysis points to an oral fixation!

I know "she'll grow out of it" doesn't sound like much advice, but that's all I got!

Just cross your fingers it doesn't turn in to nail biting and then smoking! :mad:

[BrightEyes]

The downside is that if she touches it and then puts her fingers in her mouth, she could quite easily end up with the taste from that as well. Granted, you could possibly consider that a bonus, given how germs spread. It could also transfer to food from her fingers, depending on what she's eating, so it would be best to make sure she always washes her hands before eating.

The spray is a good idea, but I am worried about her touching things and then putting her fingers in her mouth. It's funny, ever since her little brother was born and began putting things in his mouth, she'll sometimes revert to putting things in her mouth too. Not as constantly as him, but often enough that I would worry about her tasting the spray. Good idea though, thanks!

[BrightEyes]

When my son was four he chewed on his shirts and jackets. On t-shirts he would suck and chew the collar, not to mention stretching the neck out. He had holes in all his shirts. One day he chewed part of the zipper off of a brand new hoodie, his lips were bloody from it! I was so mad. Mad at him and at daycare for letting him chew that much. What I did was get a spray bottle of vinegar and sprayed his collars every single day for about a month, long enough to break the habit. It doesn't hurt anything and it tastes bad enough to be a deterrent. Good luck, it will pass!

Oh that would make me mad at the day care too! My daughter will also chew on her shirts and collars occasionally (not as often as her hair though). The vinegar spray is a good idea. Thanks!

[BrightEyes]

If it were me, I'd just keep her hair short for the next several years and chances are she's bound to just forget about it. And maybe when she's a bit older she can grow her hair out and will be past the sucking on stuff age. I wouldn't remind her that she used to do this, though, if you have her grow it out in the future.

Just my 2 cents! :D

Yes, keeping her hair short for now might be the best thing. If she just chewed on her hair every now and then it wouldn't be that much of a problem. But when it is long enough to reach into her mouth, she does it all the time. When she is older she will be able to care for it better herself as well.

[Tabihito]

The spray is a good idea, but I am worried about her touching things and then putting her fingers in her mouth. It's funny, ever since her little brother was born and began putting things in his mouth, she'll sometimes revert to putting things in her mouth too. Not as constantly as him, but often enough that I would worry about her tasting the spray. Good idea though, thanks!It's not bad for her, it's just... it tastes horrid. Extremely bitter. My entire family tasted it at one point or another, usually if we were careless after we put our shoes on, since our dog seemed to love shoes and we didn't want him eating them. It depends on whether or not you want to take the opportunity to teach her not to put things in her mouth, I guess.

It's got a slightly oily consistency, which is probably why it can be transferred so easily to the fingers or whatever else. If that's a concern for you, I'd say probably try the vinegar mentioned earlier.

[adiapalic]

For me it was a phase. I actually did this up til I was about 7 years old. Last memory I have of doing it was in 2nd grade class. I guess I just grew out of it. I never remember anyone telling me not to either. I think it was a habit akin to thumb-sucking... sort of an oral fixation.

Come to think of it, I believe I quit when my hair grew long enough to where the ends were not hanging right at my mouth... and had got to my neck and shoulders. I had bangs cut for a while when I was little and when they grew out to my mouth is when I started, and when they grew past, I quit.

[BrightEyes]

It's not bad for her, it's just... it tastes horrid. Extremely bitter. My entire family tasted it at one point or another, usually if we were careless after we put our shoes on, since our dog seemed to love shoes and we didn't want him eating them. It depends on whether or not you want to take the opportunity to teach her not to put things in her mouth, I guess.

It's got a slightly oily consistency, which is probably why it can be transferred so easily to the fingers or whatever else. If that's a concern for you, I'd say probably try the vinegar mentioned earlier.

Thank you, Tabihito. I will definitely keep the pet spray as an option. I really don't want to have to keep cutting it when she wants to grow it. Hearing everyone's ideas is really helpful.

[BrightEyes]

Come to think of it, I believe I quit when my hair grew long enough to where the ends were not hanging right at my mouth... and had got to my neck and shoulders. I had bangs cut for a while when I was little and when they grew out to my mouth is when I started, and when they grew past, I quit.

I hadn't thought of that! Maybe I need to let it grow long enough so isn't hanging right at her mouth. I've always cut it out of frustration before it had a chance to grow very long.

Maybe I do need to quit nagging her to stop chewing on it. I probably nag her enough as it is LOL!

[Gypsy]

Does she like sparkly pretties? Decorate her hair in really pretty things that she won't want to disturb and see how that helps.
My twin grand daughters (they just turned 4 last month) used to pull the hair styles out my daughter would do on them but once she started putting sparkly clippies and headbands or head bands with the big flowers, they left their 'dos alone.
They didn't chew on their hair, but pulling out their styles left bald spots on their little scalps! Now we all make sure to bring them "pretties" for their hair to encourage them to leave. their. hair. alone.
At least until they are big enough to take care of it on their own and to fully understand what their actions are doing to the hair.

[BrightEyes]

Does she like sparkly pretties? Decorate her hair in really pretty things that she won't want to disturb and see how that helps.
My twin grand daughters (they just turned 4 last month) used to pull the hair styles out my daughter would do on them but once she started putting sparkly clippies and headbands or head bands with the big flowers, they left their 'dos alone.
They didn't chew on their hair, but pulling out their styles left bald spots on their little scalps! Now we all make sure to bring them "pretties" for their hair to encourage them to leave. their. hair. alone.
At least until they are big enough to take care of it on their own and to fully understand what their actions are doing to the hair.


Sparkly "pretties" is a good idea! Her everyday clips are cute, but they tend to be small. On Sundays when I do her hair "extra" cute for church it does seem like she's better at leaving it alone. And I haven't tried putting head bands on her. So maybe I need to focus on making her hair extra "cute" every day, that way she won't want to mess it up. Good idea!

I better make a run to the store to get some sparkly pretties (hee-hee).

[slythwolf]

It could be just a phase she's going through, or it could be a nervous habit that will persist for years. When I was a kid my parents thought I would grow out of biting my fingernails, but I didn't stop until I was a senior in high school (when I got my first boyfriend--possibly this made me more confident about myself?). And I still pick at and chew on my cuticles when I don't have something else to do with my hands, but I think that's more related to my ADHD than anything.

But, if you are willing to try to wait out the hair chewing until it's long enough to put up all the time, then she wouldn't be able to do it and that would break the habit. Or even just some cute little barettes to keep it away from her face.

[pepperminttea]

Could you try a headscarf or a headband to keep it out of her face?

[BrightEyes7]

I agree with keeping her hair short until she can handle the responsibility of long hair. My mom kept my hair short until I was about 10 and able to care for it myself. I was a hair chewer too... I dunno why I did it. I love long hair on little girls but if it is looking not so great from being gnawed on all the time I'm sure she would look a lot cuter with a chic bob!

[Igor]

I think maybe this bothers you more than anyone else?

Sounds like one of those silly phases children go through. I would just keep it short for now. She will probably grow out of it soon anyways

Not really liking the idea of using bitter sprays to keep her from chewing! If it really is just a silly little habit, the pressure to make her stop, can turn the energy into something else. If she just needs something to fiddle with and her hair is too bitter to chew, she might pick up some other equally annoying habit instead. Biting nails or fiddling with anything she can get her hands on

I think we all had those annoying little habits when we were children. They come and go and change over time (Personally I bit my nails for years. Bitter nail polishes didn’t help! Some day I just stopped for no apparent reason. Even today I can’t tell you why I suddenly stopped!)

[Quezie]

I used to chew on everything when I was little, my hair, my collar, my sleeves . . . I actually had little holes in my clothing from it.

Whenever my mom caught me doing it she told me to stop, but I kept doing it, so she would have to cut my hair.

That bitter tasting spray sounds like a good idea, if she REALLY wants to grow it.

[AgnesONutter]

Is your daughter prone to daydreaming? I know when I was her age, and still to this day, I tend to chew things when I think. Usually pencils, but also shirt buttons and hair. I have tried to break the habit but really, gross sprays or whatever have just caused me to chew on something else instead such as my headphone cord (which is really bad).

What works for me is to keep my hair out of my face in a bun so there is no hair that can dangle and tempt me and to keep something that is harmless to chew close by. In my case, a rubber chewing doll for puppies. Hey, it works. It saves pencils, headphone cords, cell phones, bus cards, hair, hair toys and other things I have found myself putting in my mouth from getting totally destroyed. I am just wired that way, that I need something to chew when thinking or alternatively something to drink and hold with my hands.

[amoredidanza]

I definitely did that as a child too. I remember people trying to get me to stop, telling me that a little girl chewed on her hair so much that she chocked on a hairball and died. I doubt that story is true, but that's what my grandmother told me. It didn't make me stop. They also told me my hair was alive and I was hurting it, that didn't make me stop either, because I thought it would actually hurt if it were alive.. I stopped on my own eventually. I think maybe you should just give her time. She'll grow out of it.

[PiroskaCicu]

I used to do this as a kid, but putting it up into some sort of updo such as braids, can really help to prevent it. I think it's just a phase though, because I only did it for a short time. I can't remember how long, but it eventually passed. Once she's older it will seem "gross" to herself or to others. I remember being a kid and when I chewed my hair, other children would laugh at me. So I think that somewhat helped me stop, even though it was mean of them. Kids will be kids, and they are honest.

Good luck!

[LadyLately]

Have you tried crown braids? With extra pins and clips, so they're hard(er) to undo? It's take a bit of practice, but it might be good if she's really dead-set on long hair and you're okay with it.

[BrightEyes]

Thank you every one for your replies. You all gave good suggestions.

I think I will wait awhile before cutting her hair short and try to ignore her chewing on it. As many of you said, it's probably something that she will grow out of. I will try a crown braid or some sparkly "pretties" like was suggested. Not quite sure about the sprays, but I will keep them in mind.

Like Igor said, this probably does bother me more than anyone else because I am usually with my daughter all day. So maybe I just need to relax and stop being such an uptight mommy.:o

[Medievalmaniac]

I would recommend braiding and bunning her hair at the nape of her neck. My daughter is also a hair-sucker/chewer, and mainly she wears her hair well away from her face. If she does get hold of the ends and chew on them, I just rinse them in water and spray with leave-in conditioner before I comb it out at night. It takes a couple of extra minutes, but it's worth it. :)

[BrightEyes]

If she does get hold of the ends and chew on them, I just rinse them in water and spray with leave-in conditioner before I comb it out at night. It takes a couple of extra minutes, but it's worth it. :)

I will try this. It's so simple, I wish I would have thought of it before I tried combing them out dry. I would have saved a lot of tears, poor girl.

[goldenoak]

I've thought of some kind of reward system ("if you don't chew on your hair for this long, then you can get/do this")

I like the trying-different-updos idea first to see if it helps her not want to chew, but if she continues to pull them out... I think there's a very direct "how much do you want this?" appeal to her, which is "You can continue to keep growing your hair if you don't chew on it."

Four is pretty young for a kid to be able to grasp long-term consequences, so I think that a wholesale "that's it, you blew it, it's all getting cut off" would be upsetting and hard to understand. My thought is that instead you could try to train her with a series of little consequences. After explaining that she's damaging her ends by chewing, could you do a micro-trim to the ends as a consequence at the end of each week that she chews her hair, and assure her that if she learns not to chew it, the weekly "haircuts" will stop and her hair will be able to grow long? Since habits are really hard to break, especially for little ones, maybe you could even start with "if you can not chew your hair for one whole day, we won't trim your hair this week." When she manages that, celebrate with her, then move the next goal out to two days, etc.

(By micro-trim I mean really very little taken off at all - I think seeing the scissors, hearing a few snip-snips, seeing little teensy bits of hair coming off and knowing that it's keeping her from her long-hair goal will probably be eye-opening for her without your needing to remove any length of consequence.)

Good luck - I hope it works out for you and for her! :)

[eicamawa]

When I was little I was told that I could have long hair as long as I took good care of it. If I didn't, I had to cut myself. This is something I've heard all my life, and I've always had long hair. Why don't try to explain it to her that if she chews on her hair, it won't look nice, and she can't have long hair? Then she have to stop it to get the hair she wants.