Negative comment on my cut hair...

[ilovelonghair]

I have been keeping this for myself for quite a while because it's quite shocking: I have cut my hair. I had to because I had problems with crunchy bits and my hair was weak due to years of dying and recent hair loss. It was becoming so thin is didn't look nice so I decided to go for thickness instead of lenght. I have cut it off at the small of my back and I keep cutting it every fortnight till it gets thicker again.

But this is the thing: it took me quite a while to dare to show my hair to anyone, it's quite a shock for people to see mega long hair (that used to look nice before it started to fall out) transformed into hip lenght. So today I showed it to my family and one of my family members said: "that is horrible what you did. your hair was so nice". Not really good for my self esteem LOL. But it was far worse to have those straw dry strangely bits.

[Isilme]

:( don't feel bad about cutting or the comments! You know you had to get rid of those parts of your hair, and hip is still long! I bet your hair is probably some inches longer than mine is now (and this is the longest it has ever been) Maybe explain why the comments hurt you and why you cut it, they probably won't understand, but you tried. In the end you have to be happy with your hair.

[Fee]

Hi, may I ask you how long your hair was before the cut? I'm sure your hair will get much thicker now, and hip length is an amazing length many here dream of ;) :flowers:

[embee]

Too bad. Family is awfully quick to say stuff that hurts. Your hair is still long, you've removed a problem, and have a plan. You'll end up with healthy hair. :)

Please remember that we cannot please everyone. Please remember that you didn't cut on a whim, you thought it out.

Your hair will grow and be better than before. And you'll be rid of the crunchy tangly ends.

The person who made the negative comment probably didn't intend to hurt your feelings, just blurted out what actually was a positive thought: he liked (and was going to miss) your super long hair!

[Guenever]

I'm sorry to hear that! :sad Negative comments are definitely not what you want to hear in that situation! You made a big decision cutting back from -- knee, right? It's not written anywhere now but I believe to have seen it in your profile once..

I would love to see a shot of your hair now in your gallery.. You say that it's too shocking for you to post pictures of, and I respect that of course.. must be hard! :grouphug: but just to note: I'm sure that your gorgeous red curls look great at any length!! :flowers:

[DecafJane]

Here is a tale about families and haircuts: Ten years ago, I got my first boy-length cut, and my grandmother looked at me in horror and said, "What have you done?? You look like a boy!" Last year I did the same thing, and she said, "Wow, I love your hair!" :shrug:

I can understand how you were nervous about showing them something like that, and it would have been nice of them to be supportive and positive (after all, you still have very long hair!), but families often don't do what we would like them to do, do they? ;)
As long as you feel good about your hair, that is all that matters. I'm sure it looks and feels much healthier, and it is good that you know you can do what you want to do. :)

[SHELIAANN1969]

Nobody knows what you were enduring except for you, and even if you wanted to cut your hair, for any reason, it isnt anyones place to say, oh that is wrong or whatever.

You did what you felt best, and people would give thousands of dollars to be at the length you are now!

I hope you are enjoying your thicker ends.

My aunt had a similar situation, all her life she had long hair, right around classic length, she decided the ends were thin, she entered menopause and I dont think that helped any at all, and according to her, her hair was thin and unbearable.

She had her daughter cut it to around bsl, and then one day, for no reason , she just started hacking it off and her daughter had to fix it, she is now at less than collarbone but her hair IS thick and curly, and she says she loves it.

I personally found it astonishing when she cut it all off, she had a mid life event and went a bit haywire in many areas of her life, but, that is her choice and I dont bring it to her attention. I just visit and we dont discuss her hair at all.

One day my hair was down at my grandmas (it was still drying) and she told her daughter, 'come here, look at Shelias' hair, it so long, wow" and my hair is only waist length!

But the point is, it isnt MY place to tell her how to wear HER hair, even though I liked her length.

As long as you are happy, that is what counts!

[Carolyn]

I would imagine the person who said that loved seeing your really long hair and was sorry it's gone now and he/she won't be able to see it the way it was. If that makes sense. I'm sure it was a shock to that person and the comment was just blurted out. I've done the same thing myself several times. I do not comment on new cuts that are much shorter for that reason. I just tell myself to shut up and I don't say anything. Don't be too harsh with that person. I agree it was a compliment in a backwards way. It was said in all honesty. You have every right to do as you wish with your hair of course but you have to realize not everyone is going to think it's wonderful, just as not everyone thinks growing out long is a good thing. It's too bad that those who don't think it's wonderful, can't shut up and say nothing but that's not always going to happen.

[levelek]

That may have been a really backhanded and unfortunate way of saying, "I thought your hair looked amazing at the previous length". People also sometimes simply need time to adjust to change. It came out incredibly insensitive but they probably didn't mean that your hair looks horrible now!

I'm sorry you've been having problems with your hair and that's why you felt the need to cut it. Remember though that hip length is still mega long in most people's eyes! And what you lost will grow back even more beautiful :flowers:

ETA: posted at the same time as Carolyn, didn't mean to repeat the same thing! :)

[k_hepburn]

Well, since you are planning to grow your hair back out (now all nice and healthy) look at the positive side: at least now you know for sure that they absolutely adore your extra-long hair, to the point of being rude to you when you dare to cut back to "just" hip-long :D .

But what makes me a little worried is the fact that you felt the need to hide your appearance. From your friends, your family, but, if I understand you correctly, even from this board. When really, it is absolutely up to you whatever you decide to do with your hair, if you decide to grow it to floor length or take it back to a pixie for a change. You do not owe us (or your family and friends) any explanation, let alone apology for deciding to do something different with your hair, it's your hair, your decision. People being people they may voice an opinion on what they think suits you best (preferably out of a sense of caring and with tact, rather than just because they like to impose on other people and are obnoxious). But they have no right to expect you to do with your appearance what they tell you to. That is and remains entirely up to you.

So please enjoy and start celebrating the newly increased healthiness of your hair! And yes, for stating the obvious: HIP IS STILL LOOOOOOOONG !

Greetings

katharine

[Peggy E.]

There's no more powerful people on earth than your family. And their approval is begged for, bartered after, catered to; their disapproval cuts you off at the knees. No matter how strong and confident you grow in your life, one silly remark from a grandmother, sister, father, and you're the shattered seven-year-old kid again.

We can't control the opinions of others, least of all our family members. But you apparently had not shown them your hair when it was damaged and thin, so they can't appreciate what you are doing now.

Still, it comes down to the fact that what they think really doesn't matter in the grand scale of things. I'm glad you took your action first, rather than seeking their opinions, for it indicates you do have your best interests at heart and are willing to take the difficult steps necessary to work towards your final goal.

It's your hair; it's your life - enjoy it all! And your hair, though "shorter" than it had been, is FAR from being SHORT! Put your signature back where it belongs!

[paper]

It sounds to me that you did the right thing. It's more important to have healthy hair. And, your hair still is long, and I bet it looks so much better :)

It's a shame people think they can say negative comments on hair, I know it's very hurtful.

[Dvips]

Too bad. Family is awfully quick to say stuff that hurts. Your hair is still long, you've removed a problem, and have a plan. You'll end up with healthy hair. :)

Please remember that we cannot please everyone. Please remember that you didn't cut on a whim, you thought it out.

Your hair will grow and be better than before. And you'll be rid of the crunchy tangly ends.

The person who made the negative comment probably didn't intend to hurt your feelings, just blurted out what actually was a positive thought: he liked (and was going to miss) your super long hair! What she (and others) said - so true! {{hugs}} to you and your hair. :flowers:


There's no more powerful people on earth than your family. And their approval is begged for, bartered after, catered to; their disapproval cuts you off at the knees. No matter how strong and confident you grow in your life, one silly remark from a grandmother, sister, father, and you're the shattered seven-year-old kid again. Fortunately, some of us are able to overcome this. :)

[rubyann]

Darlin', you did what you felt you needed to do. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for that! As long as you're happy with the results, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Family!?!

[Blueneko]

It is your hair, your decision, your time with your hair and your decision, and you feel good about both!

It will grow back! Hooray for healthy ends!!!

[kate46]

Well, since you are planning to grow your hair back out (now all nice and healthy) look at the positive side: at least now you know for sure that they absolutely adore your extra-long hair, to the point of being rude to you when you dare to cut back to "just" hip-long :D .

But what makes me a little worried is the fact that you felt the need to hide your appearance. From your friends, your family, but, if I understand you correctly, even from this board. When really, it is absolutely up to you whatever you decide to do with your hair, if you decide to grow it to floor length or take it back to a pixie for a change. You do not owe us (or your family and friends) any explanation, let alone apology for deciding to do something different with your hair, it's your hair, your decision. People being people they may voice an opinion on what they think suits you best (preferably out of a sense of caring and with tact, rather than just because they like to impose on other people and are obnoxious). But they have no right to expect you to do with your appearance what they tell you to. That is and remains entirely up to you.

So please enjoy and start celebrating the newly increased healthiness of your hair! And yes, for stating the obvious: HIP IS STILL LOOOOOOOONG !

Greetings

katharine

I have to agree with everything K hepburn says here, an insensative remark from a thoughtless family member is one thing but feeling you need to hide your hair is another! You did what you felt was right for you and thats always the right decision, as has been said before - you are not here to decorate anothers world! Show your beautiful hair proudly ;)

[brok3nwings]

I have seen your pictures and i understand the shock, but your hair is still very long and you are investing in healthy hair and i think that is the right decision! It will grow and now in better condition... I know its hard to adapt, its always a hard time but i think you should enjoy it, have fun with it! The bad comments you can get is from people that dont deal with your hair everyday and also because is shoking for them as also. But im sure thats all. Shock. I love your hair! Please be pround of it

[ilovelonghair]

Thanks for all the positive feedback :)

I think it was shocking to this person because it is such a change. I have been wearing my hair up for 5 months because it was getting thin and unhealthy (due to being ill and a difficult time I was going trough). So she had only seen nice long thicker hair. In those months I have been thinking of what to do with it and decided to cut off the bad bits (from kneelenght to hip) and still there are thin ends but they will grow in. I have been keeping my hair up for a while after cutting it and yesterday I decided to reveil it since it already looks better then it did some months ago. I also got another weird comment, a positive one, but still weird. Someone else said: it looks much thicker and nicer now, and this lenght looks better because it doesn't drag you down.
Drag me down??? I didn't know hair was that heavy LOL.

I will take pictures soon, it's just that my hair is much thinner then on the previous pictures and that is a bit shocking. But the thickness is already coming back so I think I soon can take pictures.

[DecafJane]

Drag me down??? I didn't know hair was that heavy LOL.

That is a great mental picture! I had an image of somebody on the ground, weighed down by her voluminous mass of hair! ROFL!!!!

[flapjack]

Yeah, it definitely sounds like the comments you got weren't done with bad intent, but maybe a case of foot in mouth syndrome. People in my family have that issue, too, I think everyone deals with it at one point or another so you're not alone. It will be alright and I'm sure when your hair grows back, she'll be back to gushing without even realizing what she said before. :D