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MissCharizard
July 27th, 2010, 04:00 PM
I have stopped cutting my hair since I want it to grow. I have stopped dying it but it is still pretty damaged from the years of abuse. My ends split easily so I've been trimming.. but my boyfriend has now said that I need a haircut and that my hair is growing wildly! He says it has no shape or style anymore. This is giving me pressure to go get a "trim" but I feel my hair will never grow if I do.
Has anyone ever given you pressure to get a haircut? What do you think I should do?

Tonks
July 27th, 2010, 04:01 PM
No one that I can remember has ever pressured me into getting a cut (it's always been me doing the self-pressuring! ;)), but if someone did, I'd politely tell them to stuff it. It's your hair, it's your decision what you do with it.

Sammich
July 27th, 2010, 04:08 PM
No one that I can remember has ever pressured me into getting a cut (it's always been me doing the self-pressuring! ;)), but if someone did, I'd politely tell them to stuff it. It's your hair, it's your decision what you do with it.

Agreed with this.
Nobody should pressure you to get a haircut, even your parents. (Which my mother has done to my brother more than once even though he wanted it long.)
Whatever you want. Not what your boyfriend wants.
My boyfriend would never pressure me into doing something I obviously don't want... ehh.
Have you talked to him that you want to grow your hair?

spidermom
July 27th, 2010, 04:09 PM
I agree - it's your hair, so do what you want. Nobody else gets a vote.

I didn't like the shagginess of growing out a pixie without trimming, so I had my hair trimmed every 6 to 8 weeks for the first 5 years of growing it out, and it still grew 2 feet longer in that time. Nope - that's not super-fast, impressive growth, but my hair always looked nice, never shaggy, never mullety. My stylist was great, she never trimmed away more than about 1/4 inch at a time, maybe 1/2 inch off the longest, fastest growing bits.

Feng-Shui
July 27th, 2010, 04:16 PM
Your boyfriend should be your support and not press downward you.

Say to it a completely clear No!

Suppression is not true love. :(

pepperminttea
July 27th, 2010, 04:36 PM
Your hair, your decision. End of story.

How long is yours at the moment? Could you learn an updo or two? Being able to make it look 'styled' when it's in the middle of an awkward phase could give you that boost of self-confidence to keep going until it's the length you're aiming for. :) Even wearing a pretty accessory or a headscarf can give you a spring in your step.

Juneii
July 27th, 2010, 04:44 PM
Ultimately it's your hair. I kind of understand the feeling though, my boyfriend still haven't warmed up to the idea of my hair growing longer than it is right now. He always comments on how cute short hair is but never told me I needed to cut it (it wouldn't work)
Constant trimming will give you better length later, just keep that up. If you don't want to cut your hair then please don't do it for someone else :)

irishlady
July 27th, 2010, 04:46 PM
Oh I know this kind of pressure only too well, most often from hair stylists to me.
They always want to cut my hair back to shoulder length and with layers. I HATE layers, and am having a bit of a nightmare at the moment trying to grow them out. No hair stylist is going near my hair again, next time I go for a trim I'll go to a barber lol, at least they listen and they're much cheaper!

Don't listen to the boyfriend, do what suits you, it's your hair after all. He has no right to tell you to cut it and if all he's worried about is what you look like, well that says a lot doesn't it?

I'm not being mean, just saying...

By the way, I'm new too, and I was wondering how to post a question? I'm not good with computers lol

confucious
July 27th, 2010, 05:13 PM
Devil's advocate time...

I'm not saying to give in to your boyfriend... but...

If you have damaged hair from previous bleaches or extreme wear... Cut it. It's not doing your hair any good. But don't do more than needs to be done.

MissCharizard
July 27th, 2010, 05:14 PM
To post in a forum, look for a grey button on the top left corner of the page that says "new post."

For the record I don't think he was being mean, he's just "opinionated."

missfortune9335
July 27th, 2010, 05:27 PM
What does he mean by "growing wildly"? I'm inclined to agree that you shouldn't cut if you feel you don't need to, but since there are no photos of your hair on your page and no description of your length or hair type it's hard to give objective advice because I don't know what you're dealing with....

Is it just very damaged and that's the part he thinks is "wild"? If that were the case I would suggest a healthy trim so the damage does't just keep ruining the rest of your hair as it grows in. If it's just at an akward stage and you're trying to grow out very short hair (I've been there!) all you can do is wait it out, but if it's at an akward stage, you're trying to learn and figure out your hair type and it's long enough to put up then I would suggest learning some up-dos you think look nice and jus wearing it up for a while. Maybe you could give us some more info? :flower:

tanya222
July 27th, 2010, 07:13 PM
Yes, if you can, post us a picture so we can see?

What's "wild" to him might be gorgeous hair to us :)

Kome
July 27th, 2010, 07:46 PM
Devil's advocate time...

I'm not saying to give in to your boyfriend... but...

If you have damaged hair from previous bleaches or extreme wear... Cut it. It's not doing your hair any good. But don't do more than needs to be done.

Woah! I disagree!!!

I have VERY damaged hair from a total of 8 bleaching within' less than a year. Yes, 8 bleaching on the SAME HAIR. My hair has broken off and crumbled up. However, after being VERY nice to it and already cutting off a foot, I still have 20 inches of this hair. If I cut it now my hair would only be 5 inches long! There is no reason to cut it off unless it's matted together. I bet my hair looks better than some peoples virgin hair because I know how to take care of it even after the prior damage.

That being said... my boyfriend is very picky about how I look. He complained constantly about my hair while it was in its "healing" process. However, I finally found a GREAT conditioner and my multiple henna applications have helped my hair a lot. Other than the split ends, you wouldn't know I'd damaged my hair so much. That being said, perhaps you should just add some layers into your hair to give it some bounce. Maybe something to frame your face. Bangs? Highlights? Give it a couple of weeks and look for some ideas. I have blonde bangs with red hair. I do this because I LOVE to dye my hair, but I don't want to anymore. I really love this style because it's very different and it looks nice. It keeps things interesting for me.

Anyways, enough from me. I hope you think of something you'll like! :)

katha
July 27th, 2010, 11:54 PM
Do you think your BF has a point? If so, go get a cut. If not, tell him you disagree and do whatever you want. It's your hair, on your head, after all.

jackiesjottings
July 28th, 2010, 02:43 AM
I agree too. I had my hair cut from about waist to shoulder when I was 18, because my then boyfriend didn't like it long. It made no difference whatsoever to the relationship which was a disaster and once it had ended I wanted my long hair back!

willowcandra
July 28th, 2010, 02:53 AM
I once had layers cut because dh thought my hair was shapeless. I hated it and spent a couple of years growing it out to get back to where it was.

If you can see damage that you can't mask then a trim may help. But I wouldn't do it to please bf. Just be prepared for gentle taunting if you do your own thing.

Fufu
July 28th, 2010, 04:48 AM
What's your opinion on your own hair? Do you like your hair now or you are starting to feel you need a new change?