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View Full Version : F/i lament-rant: this is gonna sounds nasty...



dropinthebucket
July 20th, 2010, 11:37 AM
....but long hair is suddenly gestalt on my campus - it's like everywhere - which is great, but i see so many longhairs out there (not here!!! here is like safe haven! :)) who bleach and dye within an inch of their lives, heat dry, straighten, product like nuts, and scary hair accessories - and always wear it down - AND their hair still looks long and luscious!! even worse, i just saw one girl *rake* a nasty-looking brush through her waist-length hair quickly before class.

meanwhile, me with my slow-growing, fragile-as-glass hair has to fight for every inch, and even when it's as healthy as possible with no heat, no straightening, no bleach, no dye, no combing, no brushing, wearing it up, gentle washing, careful hair toys, oiling - i still get half the results they do. :( i'm bummed - why even bother to grow it? sorry, just feeling a bit frustrated right now. thanks for all the kind words and to all the wonderful people here!! it helps. :)

kimki
July 20th, 2010, 11:45 AM
Unfortunately, the grass is always going to look greener....or whatever it is they say. There are always going to be people with longer, thicker, shinier hair it's frustrating but I guess that's how life is. :shrug:

I have fine, fragile hair too so I can identify with what your saying. All I can say is your hair is beautiful, it doesn't look fine and with time and patience it will be long and you will really appreciate it. Hugs :flower:

ukuleleclaire
July 20th, 2010, 11:46 AM
Just be patient! Their hair might look really great from a distance, but it could feel (and look like) straw up close. I used to work with a girl that dyed her bsl hair every two weeks and straightened it every day. It looked great from about five feet away, and utterly trashed once you got close to her.

Or who knows, maybe they have some kind of genetically superior hair?

I'm sure your hair is beautiful too, and you probably appreciate it far more than they do!

Capybara
July 20th, 2010, 11:51 AM
Why bother to grow it? Because you want to :) If you want long hair, there is no reason not to have it - even if there is someone else out there who has shinier/prettier/something-er hair.

You have beautiful hair! Beautiful shine, colour, and wavies :crush: And, while fine hair may be more fragile than coarser hair (my underlayer is fine, and a good inch and a half shorter than the canopy because of it), it is soo much softer and less prone to frizz (on me anyways :) )

triumphator!
July 20th, 2010, 11:53 AM
Their hair may look great today, tomorrow, maybe next week, but it won't last for two reasons. 1) Your hair will last longer because you are babying it and keeping it away from the bleach/chemical hair dye/heat styling tools. They will eventually get frustrated that their hair keeps breaking off and cut it. 2) They will probably be more susceptible to fashion and cut it off according to whatever trend rears its ugly head next.


Oh... and maybe it's just expensive extensions?

HintOfMint
July 20th, 2010, 01:11 PM
Also, on light blond hair (you mentioned bleach) damage is less visible because while split ends and white dots are obviously lighter, on light hair they can blend.

And I second the possibility of extensions. If you have been on campus before, and it is only now "suddenly" everywhere, that could be an indicator.

As for the "why bother," bother because you want to! Because there is a certain amount of pride in having naturally gorgeous virgin hair that is well kept. While the good condition of your hair may not be obvious to everyone who is looking, I guarantee it makes a difference in how it feels.

Chin up, and happy growing!

Centaur
July 20th, 2010, 01:15 PM
Oh... and maybe it's just expensive extensions?

There you go. A lot of people do have extensions these days, making our virgin hair look thinner than it is.

Believe me, Dropinthebucket, I understand your frustration. If you have read any of my many posts about PCOS/Insulin Resistance/Hair Loss/Hair Shedding/Androgenic Alopecia/Alopecia, you will know I feel your pain!

The things I have going for me is my hair has a nice dark natural color to it, and it has a natural wave, improving the appearance of my hair. And yours does too!:thumbsup:

Mugili
July 20th, 2010, 01:19 PM
I totally feel with every word you have written.
I have no advice, only in the same position and really frustrated!

Juneii
July 20th, 2010, 01:19 PM
There are many reasons why you should grow your hair. This shouldn't be a competition to see who has the nicest hair. You like long hair which is why you are growing yours, and in the end you care more about your hair than they do about theirs. Leave them with their happy over processed hair, healthy hair is better :)

dropinthebucket
July 20th, 2010, 01:27 PM
aaawwww, thanks guys! you all totally rock!

i never thought of extensions - it's like suddenly, everyone has LONG hair for summer term! how???!!! we were only off a few weeks! d'ya think that's why they mistreat it so, 'cause it's not theirs and hasn't been hard won?? not saying everyone has 'em, just .... yeah, i never thought of it!

centaur, i'm sendin' good healing vibes your way! you're an inspiration. :D

littlenvy
July 20th, 2010, 01:45 PM
....but long hair is suddenly gestalt on my campus - it's like everywhere - which is great, but i see so many longhairs out there (not here!!! here is like safe haven! :)) who bleach and dye within an inch of their lives, heat dry, straighten, product like nuts, and scary hair accessories - and always wear it down - AND their hair still looks long and luscious!! even worse, i just saw one girl *rake* a nasty-looking brush through her waist-length hair quickly before class.

meanwhile, me with my slow-growing, fragile-as-glass hair has to fight for every inch, and even when it's as healthy as possible with no heat, no straightening, no bleach, no dye, no combing, no brushing, wearing it up, gentle washing, careful hair toys, oiling - i still get half the results they do. :( i'm bummed - why even bother to grow it? sorry, just feeling a bit frustrated right now. thanks for all the kind words and to all the wonderful people here!! it helps. :)
(((( Dropinthebucket ))))
I sooo feel you!! It seems very unfair that our genetics have cheated as so greatly.
But I will tell you what my DH always tells me (and he is a former hairstylist).
ďThin, fine hair is great!. Its easy to manage, quick to dry and heavenly to cut. Ē
I havenít bought into that yet Ö lol Ö but Iím trying!!

Do take pride in the fact that your hair is as healthy as YOU can make it. :)
And never mind everyone else. Iím sure you have something that THEY want and donít have.

Anje
July 20th, 2010, 01:46 PM
Extensions would definitely explain the sudden long hair (everyone wants to feel it on their backs while wearing strappy tops, I guess).

Remember too, that hair often looks way better at 5-10 feet away, while you see yours from inches away. A lot of those folks probably have it completely coated with silicone serum, too, in an attempt to keep the length glued together.

Your hair may not look as luscious as some (and I feel for you -- I'm in the same camp with my 2.5 inch circumference), but I'll bet it feels amazingly better than a lot of what you're seeing.

GlennaGirl
July 20th, 2010, 02:44 PM
There's a lot of long hair around here, and I've been told (by those in the culture itself) that it's definitely cultural; there is a large Spanish population and there's just a ton of long hair. And ALL of it is longer, thicker, darker and shiner than mine. :p Or that's what it feels like, anyway.

If I were to only grow my hair if it would look better than, or at least as good as (in my view...particularly with thickness) the long hair of those around me, I'd just be shaving myself with a Wahl #2 once a month. :p

One doesn't have to have a certain thickness, etc. in order to be "allowed" to have long hair.

jivete
July 20th, 2010, 02:55 PM
I used to feel this way too (like Anje I'm a 2.5" ii), and it is frustrating, but unfortunately, we get what we get when it comes to hair. I hated my hair until I was in my early 30's and still have my moments, but since I learned that I can't do anything to my hair and have it look nice, it's gotten better. I'm sure it will for you too.

Since we can't change the way our hair grows out of our head, I feel like it's definitely one of those things that is wasted energy to fight.

It is annoying that others can abuse their hair and it looks better than mine, but I can only work with what I've got. :shrug:

Sammich
July 20th, 2010, 03:07 PM
I wish I was F (Fully)! I want the soft gentle, swaying locks. I have a few F hairs, and they're so soft compared to the rest of my hair!
To be honest, I wouldn't mind the fragility much. I long for super soft hair, and I still can't find the correct formula for it! :p

See, there's a positive outlook to it, someone wants the Fness! ;)
PS. I think your hair looks absolutely gorgeous, from what I see of it!
Also, extensions are getting popular lately. ;)

PrincessBob
July 20th, 2010, 03:15 PM
My step-sister has amazing classic hair, and has since she was 15. She thinks it is at its terminal length, but I disagree. The thing is, when you get close and see it you notice it gets thin and really ragged at the bottom foot, and sheds broken hair like crazy. This doesn't stop her from being a beautiful and wonderful person, with pretty hair. Neither does it make my own hair any less precious or pretty.
Love your hair, and be confident, and other people will love it to.
Princess Bob

Feng-Shui
July 20th, 2010, 03:31 PM
All the same which I do, it will give ever someone in the world to that better, more intelligent or more beautiful is than I.

Make you no competition out your hair travel.

To enjoy otherwise you only frustrated and forgotten their own way.

Concentrate you only on which you do that is only which you even in the hand have and influence take can.:)

If you with you are on the inside content you will also outward radiate.

Like inside so outside.:flower:

harpgal
July 20th, 2010, 05:31 PM
If you with you are on the inside content you will also outward radiate.

Like inside so outside.:flower:So true, so true...

dropinthebucket
July 21st, 2010, 08:57 AM
So much wisdom!!! This is why I hang here. :D Thnx for words of sympathy and encouragement!

Centaur
July 21st, 2010, 09:58 AM
centaur, i'm sendin' good healing vibes your way! you're an inspiration. :D

That is so nice of you to write. Healing vibes to you too and all the other ladies and gentlemen in the same hair loss boat.:grouphug:

I'll tell you this, Dropinthebucket, I would pour cat pee on my scalp if I thought it would help with regrowth. I am determined!:laugh:

I will some time late this week add a couple photos to my album of my temples and hairline and crown showing the thinned hair. You can't tell my thin crown in my avatar because I have my long bangs slicked back over it. It isn't horrible yet, but I can tell it is thin.

ravenreed
July 21st, 2010, 03:28 PM
One of my dear friends is growing out her extremely fine hair. I was touching it and AMAZED at how soft her hair is. I have to really work to get my hair to feel that soft. So I may have thickness on her, but she wins the touchable contest hands down. I bet your hair is much the same!

squiggyflop
July 21st, 2010, 06:49 PM
hmm what is long to you? because long hair on campus is usually much shorter than mine.. and mine is super fragile and it too had to fight for every inch (and always needs damage trimmed off).. i have no idea how you dont comb or brush.. if i did that it wouldnt have grown past bsl because there would have been so much breakage from tangles and matts..

ack extentions.. i hate seeing girls with extentions.. they are just disgusting to me (the human hair ones.. im ok with a couple of brightly colored fake ones thrown in to give a splash of style in the persons hair) hmmm i wonder if anyone thinks my hair is extentions..