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View Full Version : The "Talk Me Off The Ledge" Thread



Medievalmaniac
July 17th, 2010, 08:01 AM
Here's the thing - there are very few of us who do not, either at some point or on a semi-regular basis, feel as though our hair is falling out, thinning, hitting terminal, or the host of other concerns we talk ourselves into. And while rationally, we know perfectly well everything is probably fine...let's be honest, sometimes it is hard to be rational about our hair!!

So, the idea of this thread is, whenever we start getting those fears and we feel like we are getting to the irrational, obsessive, crazy-making stage of thinking about it, we post the current fear/concern/obsession here, and then others can chime in to talk us off the ledge. :D

I'll start: I'm a once-a-week washer, and July is a natural shedding month for those of us in warmer climes. Plus, my hair is now hip length. So the Big Shed I experienced after washing my hair this morning - that's totally normal under such conditions, right? And, it wasn't as much as it looked like it was, right? LOGICALLY, I know this...somebody tell me that I'm right, because it still freaked me out a bit to see that hairball!! shudder:shudder:

missfortune9335
July 17th, 2010, 09:42 AM
i get the same thing, I'm pretty careful with how I handle my hair while combing and braiding etc so when I wash that's when all those hairs that are ready to shed come out. gah! I know it's normal but I still can't help but feel like "stop that! I was using that hair!" :p

chopandchange
July 17th, 2010, 09:47 AM
Not sure if this is the kind of thing we're meant to post here, but SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF AND HAVE DONE WITH IT!!!!

I mean, I don't really. I love having long pretty hair. Plus, out of obedience to my faith, I have to grow it long, so cutting it short is not an option. But it's just SOOOOOOOO tangly!

I am envious of people with shiny, smooth, straight hair that they can wear loose, and that never seems to tangle. But apparently a lot of people are envious of people with thick hair like mine, so I just try and be happy with what I've got.

If I'm ever up on the ledge wanting to cut back up to BSL, talk me down, OK? :o

teela1978
July 17th, 2010, 09:56 AM
When's the last time you measured your thickness? I always think that's the best way to go about it. The "I shed half of my hair in the last week!" threads always make me want to go "proove it!" (I don't though, that'd probably be rude :)). Which I think is best done by having a before and after circumference measurement. If you drop from a ponytail circumference of 4 to one of 3.... you have something to worry about. If you can't measure the change, you're over-reacting.

DARKMARTIAN
July 17th, 2010, 09:59 AM
I am really beginning to think that I may have reached my terminal length. And Ive expressed that concern to a few people here who have told me that I probably havent and they mentioned something about False terminals....or something like that. I really hope they are right....

Its an odd feeling to be in denial...or at least WANT to be in denial about something regarding my own hair. And quite honestly......It kinda gets me down.....:(

This is something that I had never really considered before...And because ive just recently begun to think about this........its a sort of new feeling for me. And not a very pleasant one at that....:o

MsBubbles
July 17th, 2010, 10:43 AM
How long is your hair, DarkMartian? It looks so wonderfully thick at least to waist, as far as I can tell in your pics. I haven't seen any pics of yours that show your ends. I know some people can stall for what seems like a year or two and then they see more length gain, but that's hearsay I guess!

Medievalmaniac, I got so worried about a seemingly huge shed a year ago that I thought to myself 'well if you're gonna stress out about it, at least count the hairs and see whether it's an amount worth worrying about'. I would have worried probably at about 200/day. But from what I counted, it was actually only between 50 - 100 a day. Averaged out over 2 weeks to something like 80/day. I believe that is well within normal range for fine hair, at least.

I felt a little insane counting those hairs but it put my mind at rest.

HintOfMint
July 17th, 2010, 01:09 PM
I am really beginning to think that I may have reached my terminal length. And Ive expressed that concern to a few people here who have told me that I probably havent and they mentioned something about False terminals....or something like that. I really hope they are right....

Its an odd feeling to be in denial...or at least WANT to be in denial about something regarding my own hair. And quite honestly......It kinda gets me down.....:(

This is something that I had never really considered before...And because ive just recently begun to think about this........its a sort of new feeling for me. And not a very pleasant one at that....:o

I believe you responded to my thread when I confessed that I was nervous that I had approached terminal at waist. I understand how you feel. It's like being caught between facing facts and guarding our happiness from unpleasant facts. We want to be optimistic but not of the cockeyed sort. We both received a lot of encouragement and logical reasons as to why we probably have not reached terminal. But then we have our own observations that lead us the other way. I suppose I don't have any advice other than put it up and forget about it. In 6 months, hopefully you will have grown some, and if not, then (we'll both have to) find other ways to feel good about the hair you (we) have. I can see from your profile that your hair is gorgeous and thick at waist, so at least you can cherish that. :)

Medievalmaniac
July 17th, 2010, 01:54 PM
When's the last time you measured your thickness? I always think that's the best way to go about it. The "I shed half of my hair in the last week!" threads always make me want to go "proove it!" (I don't though, that'd probably be rude :)). Which I think is best done by having a before and after circumference measurement. If you drop from a ponytail circumference of 4 to one of 3.... you have something to worry about. If you can't measure the change, you're over-reacting.

See - Teela, that is exactly the kind of rational response we need around here! Thank you! i'm going to rush right off and measure my pony circumference!!

Medievalmaniac
July 17th, 2010, 01:55 PM
Not sure if this is the kind of thing we're meant to post here, but SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF AND HAVE DONE WITH IT!!!!

I mean, I don't really. I love having long pretty hair. Plus, out of obedience to my faith, I have to grow it long, so cutting it short is not an option. But it's just SOOOOOOOO tangly!

I am envious of people with shiny, smooth, straight hair that they can wear loose, and that never seems to tangle. But apparently a lot of people are envious of people with thick hair like mine, so I just try and be happy with what I've got.

If I'm ever up on the ledge wanting to cut back up to BSL, talk me down, OK? :o

If you post in this thread, we will try to talk you back down. :)

Medievalmaniac
July 17th, 2010, 01:56 PM
I am really beginning to think that I may have reached my terminal length. And Ive expressed that concern to a few people here who have told me that I probably havent and they mentioned something about False terminals....or something like that. I really hope they are right....

Its an odd feeling to be in denial...or at least WANT to be in denial about something regarding my own hair. And quite honestly......It kinda gets me down.....:(

This is something that I had never really considered before...And because ive just recently begun to think about this........its a sort of new feeling for me. And not a very pleasant one at that....:o

Exactly! We "know" it isn't rational thinking, but it's hard not to go there!! But - See...don't you feel better just having written that out? :)

Medievalmaniac
July 17th, 2010, 01:59 PM
Medievalmaniac, I got so worried about a seemingly huge shed a year ago that I thought to myself 'well if you're gonna stress out about it, at least count the hairs and see whether it's an amount worth worrying about'. I would have worried probably at about 200/day. But from what I counted, it was actually only between 50 - 100 a day. Averaged out over 2 weeks to something like 80/day. I believe that is well within normal range for fine hair, at least.

I felt a little insane counting those hairs but it put my mind at rest.

Don't think I didn't consider letting it dry, separating all those threads out, and counting them one by one!! I was nuts earlier. I'm still a bit concerned...but, I'm calmer after going to Lakefest and buying two supercute dresses from a Boho booth! :p

DARKMARTIAN
July 17th, 2010, 05:14 PM
How long is your hair, DarkMartian? It looks so wonderfully thick at least to waist, as far as I can tell in your pics. I haven't seen any pics of yours that show your ends. I know some people can stall for what seems like a year or two and then they see more length gain, but that's hearsay I guess.

Hi MsBubbles...unfortunately im not real familiar with alot of the terminology use here. Before I came to LHC i really had no idea how much hair care could encompass. But yes it is about waist length. I can only hope that you are right about the possible stall..:o


I believe you responded to my thread when I confessed that I was nervous that I had approached terminal at waist. I understand how you feel. It's like being caught between facing facts and guarding our happiness from unpleasant facts. We want to be optimistic but not of the cockeyed sort. We both received a lot of encouragement and logical reasons as to why we probably have not reached terminal. But then we have our own observations that lead us the other way. I suppose I don't have any advice other than put it up and forget about it. In 6 months, hopefully you will have grown some, and if not, then (we'll both have to) find other ways to feel good about the hair you (we) have. I can see from your profile that your hair is gorgeous and thick at waist, so at least you can cherish that. :)

Very observant and super sweet HintOfMint...thank you. Even though you are right , I do have my own thoughts regarding my hair, however it's always nice to receive some positive feedback. I guess when a person thinks about something like that for too long it can really help to get other opinions. Ya know..kinda lets em know that not only are they not alone, but that there are other possibilities as well. As a guy that wasnt familiar with much of what is spoken about here....it really helps to pay attention to the information imparted here. And its made me feel better already actually. Thanks "MintHint"...:o


Exactly! We "know" it isn't rational thinking, but it's hard not to go there!! But - See...don't you feel better just having written that out? :)

I do actually.....but even more than that I feel much better after having read the responses. I do understand that im the ignorant one here when it comes to hair....so I listen well when I need some information. And there is so much of that to be had here. Seeing all the beautiful hair there is at LHC and then wondering if your own is even going to grow any more can be rather depressing.....but at the same time....the positive and undertsanding comments have uplifted me and put me now in a place above and beyond where I was before. Thank you....

Sissy
July 17th, 2010, 05:23 PM
I sometimes worry my hair is too thin and isn't growing fast enough. I feel like I've been stuck at tailbone and trying to hit classic FOREVER. To help myself realize I actually have been making progress I take a look at old photos. I think I used to over measure myself back then. I'd measure the LONGEST fairy tail ends of my hair and call that my overall length. I have to realize that in itself may be part of the reason I don't feel like I've gained many inches! I've become more concerned about having a more blunt, professional looking hemline and so my hairs all have to catch up. I felt better about it when I saw my sister last weekend and she told me that my hair looked a lot longer than when she'd last seen me (November 2009).

I do get concerned that my sides either don't grow nearly as fast as my center or else they suffer so much mechanical damage that they always end up damaged and broken, leaving me with fairy tail ends that I need to trim off and length will be lost due to it. However, with this what I need to realize is that although I don't have the inches I had prior to the cut, I haven't actually lost a lot... just a few straggly fairy tail ends. Actually, people don't even usually notice that I've cut my hair because I think when the ends are thicker that makes it look longer in a way.

Anyhow, those are my major worries about my hair and also the fact that I need S&D like crazy all the time and I'm self-conscious to wear my hair up in a bun as I feel my face is too round/fat.

Medievalmaniac
July 17th, 2010, 05:27 PM
Awww....you're welcome! :) I'm glad the positive energy is bringing you back up!! I'm a good witch, so I like to use my powers to bring people up, make them feel empowered and leave things better than they were when I arrived, whenever possible. :D

Medievalmaniac
July 17th, 2010, 05:31 PM
I sometimes worry my hair is too thin and isn't growing fast enough. I've become more concerned about having a more blunt, professional looking hemline and so my hairs all have to catch up.

I do get concerned that my sides either don't grow nearly as fast as my center or else they suffer so much mechanical damage that they always end up damaged and broken Actually, people don't even usually notice that I've cut my hair because I think when the ends are thicker that makes it look longer in a way.

Anyhow, those are my major worries about my hair and also the fact that I need S&D like crazy all the time and I'm self-conscious to wear my hair up in a bun as I feel my face is too round/fat.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, your hair doesn't look thin at all to me, and I definitely think it looks long and healthy!!

And ALSO....if your avatar is you, then your face is decidedly NOT fat!! In fact, it's quite a lovely face. :)

HikerTrash
July 17th, 2010, 06:09 PM
I look at everybody's pretty hair here, so thick, so shiny, gorgeous waves and curls and then look at mine and think maybe I should just cut it off. So dull, so tangly, so thin at the ends, so broken from wearing ponytails, so straight. A year ago was the last time I had my hair trimmed. My mom did it. I told her to chop 6 inches off or more. I'm visiting her in about a week... ...

jackiesjottings
July 18th, 2010, 02:24 PM
Oh thank you for this thread :) I sometimes feel silly and ungrateful about my worry which is my thin ends. I am only 3 inches away from my target 40" which will be classic on me and my ends have got very very thin. I could cut back to tailbone, and have blunt ends... but I am so close to my target. I keep telling myself it will grow back.. but then tell myself.. yes, but you only want to grow another 3", then you will keep trimming back to that length, and it will then get thicker at the ends. I keep convinving myself that faery tale ends are natural too..... and then I think maybe I should cut a couple of inches off.

Pull me back from the ledge.. my hair will most likely be at target by the end of the year...I won't trim...I won't....

Cleopatra18
July 18th, 2010, 02:30 PM
I dont know where to start,my hair simply looks gross,and it hasnt got any healthier.

misspriss
July 18th, 2010, 07:24 PM
I am considering cutting my hair. I am at my goal, that I have looked forward to for quite some time, but I'm not happy with it. I don't like the way it looks down, I can't afford a lot of hairtoys right now, I just don't appriciate it like I thought I would.

I am thinking of going to BSL or a little shorter, about where I was a year ago.

I used to be able to wash my hair, put some gel in it, and it looked great. Now I guess it gets weighed down, because it is just frizzy and not wavy anymore. I think the cut was good too.

I will think about this for a couple of weeks or so. Or longer. Maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow, I just don't know. I love the way my hair feels, but not how it looks. I will think about this.

ETA: look at my signature. See how shiney and how loose the waves are at APL? See how it is frazzled and undefined at waist? I love how it feels, it is soft and nice, but I never wear it down because I think it looks so bad.

teela1978
July 18th, 2010, 08:30 PM
I am considering cutting my hair. I am at my goal, that I have looked forward to for quite some time, but I'm not happy with it. I don't like the way it looks down, I can't afford a lot of hairtoys right now, I just don't appriciate it like I thought I would.

I am thinking of going to BSL or a little shorter, about where I was a year ago.

I used to be able to wash my hair, put some gel in it, and it looked great. Now I guess it gets weighed down, because it is just frizzy and not wavy anymore. I think the cut was good too.

I will think about this for a couple of weeks or so. Or longer. Maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow, I just don't know. I love the way my hair feels, but not how it looks. I will think about this.

ETA: look at my signature. See how shiney and how loose the waves are at APL? See how it is frazzled and undefined at waist? I love how it feels, it is soft and nice, but I never wear it down because I think it looks so bad.
Have you clarified lately?

ETA: and it really doesn't look bad at all down to me... but on my hair when it gets less shiny, tangles up a lot, and goes frizzy it usually needs a good sulfate wash.

misspriss
July 18th, 2010, 08:40 PM
Have you clarified lately?

ETA: and it really doesn't look bad at all down to me... but on my hair when it gets less shiny, tangles up a lot, and goes frizzy it usually needs a good sulfate wash.

Yes, I have washed with a "low sulfate" shampoo to clarify recently. It is soft and feels wonderful, and it smells wonderful, and I think "it's going to look wonderful!" and then I look in the mirror, and it doesn't.

It just doesn't make me happy like I think it should. I started feeling "unhappy" about a month ago, and so I have tried clarifying, I have dried deep conditioning treatments, which have made it soft and lovely feeling, but not looking.

I miss how it looked when it was shorter, how my wave pattern looked when it was shorter. But I don't know, I will have to think about this for a while.

MsBubbles
July 18th, 2010, 09:05 PM
I look at everybody's pretty hair here, so thick, so shiny, gorgeous waves and curls and then look at mine and think maybe I should just cut it off. So dull, so tangly, so thin at the ends, so broken from wearing ponytails, so straight. ...

Well there are some amazing heads of hair around here that are dead-straight, and super gorgeous! They are my hair idols.

I think if you want waves and your hair will hold a wave (looks like it! Lucky you), you will find some tricks here to help bring that out in your hair. That seems to happen a lot around here. People exclaiming things like "I have waves!". LHC is very good for people learning to appreciate and bring the best out in whatever hair genes they've been dealt.