advice for daughter's hair

[swellmel]

i am having a heck of a time figuring out how to properly care for my 6 year old daughter's hair. it is currently a couple inches past her shoulders. i know how to deal with my stick straight hair but don't know what to do for hers. hers used to be closer to my type but has changed over the past year or so. i would say she is a 1c. it's very frizzy which i guess is what i'm trying to eliminate. when i wash it and brush it afterwards it will be so smooth and straight but as it dries it shrinks, puffs up and gets so frizzy. i recently bought a straightening shampoo and conditioner from sally's after talking to a worker there who suggested it after i showed her my daughter's hair and asked what to use for the frizz. it sort of worked. i would say it made her waves more defined rather than her hair just looking frizzy and puffy. but the frizz just keeps coming back! i know with her hair i can't get it to look as straight and sleek like mine. i just want to know how to take care of her hair type and have it look good. she wants to keep growing it out which i am all for- i just want to learn how to care for it properly. what does her hair need? thanks!!

[jera]

i am having a heck of a time figuring out how to properly care for my 6 year old daughter's hair. it is currently a couple inches past her shoulders. i know how to deal with my stick straight hair but don't know what to do for hers. hers used to be closer to my type but has changed over the past year or so. i would say she is a 1c. it's very frizzy which i guess is what i'm trying to eliminate. when i wash it and brush it afterwards it will be so smooth and straight but as it dries it shrinks, puffs up and gets so frizzy. i recently bought a straightening shampoo and conditioner from sally's after talking to a worker there who suggested it after i showed her my daughter's hair and asked what to use for the frizz. it sort of worked. i would say it made her waves more defined rather than her hair just looking frizzy and puffy. but the frizz just keeps coming back! i know with her hair i can't get it to look as straight and sleek like mine. i just want to know how to take care of her hair type and have it look good. she wants to keep growing it out which i am all for- i just want to learn how to care for it properly. what does her hair need? thanks!!

In Junior high my best FF had hair like that and I'd try to help her to get is straight without a flatiron by gently combing it when it was still wet, but suddenly as it dried it would pouf up and the frizzies would emerge. She had naturally coarse dry hair. Maybe your duaghter is the same? Six is kind of young for dry hair but everybody is different.

You could try oiling and braiding her hair. If she wants to continue growing with coarse dry hair, finding alternative styles to long and loose is beneficial because that doesn't work very well for coarse hair. :)

[Laylah]

When I was that age my mother put oil on my hair- olive oil, I believe, because it was already thick and wavy and hard to control, lol. She also braided it into two braids so that it didn't get tangled because I wouldn't sit still long enough to comb it.

I doubt that a shampoo will help much...after all, it contributes to the dryness. As long as it isn't too harsh for her young skin and hair (and eyes, if she tends to get soap into them) the shampoo shouldn't matter too much as long as you replace the moisture with conditioner and oil.

Hope everything works out!

[*Aoife*]

Are you sure she's not a curly in disguise? Brushing curls (or waves) turns them into a big ball of frizz. Try letting her hair dry without being brushed or combed next time you wash it. Just wash, condition and let her run off and play.

If she is a curlyor a whurly, don't ever brush her hair. Combing or fingercombing is better and more managable. Try oiling the ends or using leave in conditioner on her hair. There are a lot of good threads on caring for curly hair on here

[Pierre]

I agree, she's probably a closet curly. Can you get an accurate hairtype of her? Detangle in the shower, then let her air dry without touching. To detangle, use a comb, but as soon as you meet resistance, take the comb out and separate the stuck hairs with fingers.

[virgo75]

I agree with all who say she's probably a curly.

My mom has straight hair and thought mine was just 'crazy' when in fact it was curly and needed to be cared for differently.

What works for most curlies is moisture, moisture, moisture - and less cones(for the most part). Many CO wash with cone free V05 and Suave and use something as a moisturizing leave-in. Sometimes the same conditioner. Olive Oil(just add a couple of drops to your hand, rub together and smooth through your daughter's hair) helps a bit too.

When all else fails, there's always ponytails and braids.

Another website that is for curly hair is http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/. They have a wealth of information, product recommendations, and even a sub-forum for 'parents of curlies.'

Hope that helps. :flower:

[Anje]

1c is naturally a bit of a frizzy hair texture for some folks (ask me how I know). Shorter hairs tend to curl out of the general pattern a bit, which can keep the whole look from being sleek. Also, I agree with some of the others that she might have curlier hair than that, and if you comb a dab of conditioner through it at the end of her bath and leave it in without touching it further while it dries, you might see some awesome curls.

Generally, frizz indicates a need for more moisture, not less. Definitely use conditioner on her, and look at some of the information on CO (conditioner only) washing and CWC (condition, wash, condition), and see how these work with her hair and scalp.

Braids will help contain some of the fluffiness and prevent tangles. I find a drop or two of oil worked through my own hair when damp after washing helps keep it a bit sleeker and makes detangling much easier. (Personally, I find olive oil a bit viscous, though it's good for curlier and coarser hair -- I like sesame oil on myself. Jojoba oil and coconut oil are also popular choices.)

[Kristin]

I think I'm a 1C (though I honestly have never hair-typed) and my hair gets frizzy/poufy in the summer. COing, oiling, and the occasional use of aloe gel to smooth the frizzies really help. I agree that you should type her as well, though.

[Anlbe]

The stuff you got from Sally's is probably moisturising, so that's good. I'd advise using quite a bit of the conditioner and then gently combing it (with conditioner still in) and then rinse squeeze the water out and let it airdry without touching it. I don't have curly hair at all but it will frizz if I annoy it while it's drying.

[spidermom]

I agree - she's probably more curly than you realize. Or maybe she has a lot of new growth, which can look frizzy because of so many shorter hairs sticking out all over the place. A dab of gel, pomade, or styling wax/putty rubbed between palms and smoothed over the surface can help tame this. Eventually the new hairs will be long enough to lay down better.

[GRU]

Another vote here for closet wurly/curly.

I recommend reading through this thread: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=369

I would give serious consideration to CO-washing. Also, try putting a skosh of conditioner on her hair after it's been washed (and don't rinse the conditioner out). I use Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut conditioner to CO-wash and also as a leave-in, and it *really* helps my frizz.

[PiroskaCicu]

It sounds like she has my hair type - straight if brushed when wet but gets poofy.....however if I don't brush it it becomes a lot wavier. What should work, since her hairtype is similar to mine, is using a moisturizing conditioner, preferably something natural. Also, use lots of conditioner, especially on the ends.


For me, when I use a really great moisturizing conditioner and I use lots of it, my hair isn't poofy anymore, and if I comb when in the shower, it is quite sleek.

[Medievalmaniac]

Could you post a picture of her hair from the back, air dried after a wash? Maybe we could try to type it for you to know more certainly if this is a frizz or a curls-gone-wild situation. :)

[LisaJaney]

I would try CO cleansing and see if the extra moisture that affords (not drying the hair with shampoos) helps with the frizziness. You could also follow-up with a moisturizing conditioner. If she's THAT much body, her hair may be able to handle a heavier conditioner than some hair (ahem, my flyaway, thin hair) could take.

Personally, I've never set much stock by the products they push at you on TV and in the market. It just seems that for a shampoo to actually STRAIGHTEN the hair, it'd have to dry it a little, wouldn't it? And that seems counter-intuitive. Hmmmm... I still say try CO cleansing and see if that helps. Cheap, light conditioner, and try several to see which one works. I love White Rain Extra Body, but it doesn't work as well in Spokane's softer water as it does here. So the hair-type and water-type all make a difference; you may have to try a couple before you know what works for her. And if CO washing isn't your cup of tea, there's always CWC, just shampooing the scalp, but using condish on the length to help minimize the contact of the detergent of the shampoo on the hair's length.

[swellmel]

first off thank you for all of the advice and suggestions! I was thinking last night in bed that maybe she has more curl than i think. dh has super thick super curly hair but he keeps it trimmed too short to see curls. as a kid he had white blonde ringlets. so i was thinking i bet she has a mix of both of ours because she doesn't have ringlets but she has a lot of body and wave which might be curls if i didn't brush it out. she's due for a bath today so i will let it air dry without doing anything to it and then get pictures to post. the shampoo and conditioner i bought at sally's is moisturizing. i don't have any cone free stuff btu will definitely pick some up. thank you for helping out!

[got2pals]

Hi Swellmel. I haven't got any more useful comments (other than don't dump out your "cones" yet because if you get any bad tangles, you may need them!), I just wanted to say how great I think it is that you are looking to this forum to figure out how to cope with your daughter's hair rather than getting annoyed with it, or with her. My mom had short, curly brown hair and didn't know how to handle her girls' wavy blonde hair. She usually cut it off, pixie short. Strangers always thought we were boys. When we were old enough braid each others, she would get after us if we didn't. It wasn't fun! Girls are so sensitive about such things. Your girl will have better self-esteem for your doing this for her. That makes you a... ***Cool Mom***

[LisaJaney]

Yes, I agree with Got2Pals -- don't toss that cone-laden stuff yet. Actually, her hair may need/like the cones. We all do it when we get here: we manage to locate one of those anti-cone articles, and we jump on the "cones are evil" bandwagon. :silly: But somewhere along the line, many of the people here have decided that cones aren't bad, and some of us actually love 'em. (my hair can take 'em or leave 'em, it's pretty happy hair and easy to please) I'm just saying that every head of hair and every place's water is different. Just try a few different things and see what works. And get ahold of a copy of Lorraine Massey's book, "Curly Girls" and read that puppy front-to-back. I never did like the lemon conditioner rinse, but the idea behind "embracing your curls" and doing things to keep from drying the crap out of the hair (minimizing exposure to shampoos) will help with frizz. It's a quick and easy and GOOD read!

[swellmel]

i'm actually pro-cones. my hair needs them! but i would like to try no-cones on my daughter to see if it improves her hair. :) i'm going to try CWC on her today with a drop of olive oil afterwards to see how that goes as well as not brushing it... i am such a brusher that's going to be tough! :o thank you got2pals. :) my mom made me get some pretty awful short haircuts when i was little- i had a chili bowl at one point! gah!

[Rivanariko]

My best friend has hair that sounds similar. A lot of body wave that gets HUGE and frizzy as it dries if she doesn't keep it contained. She always lets it dry in a braid, and it's easy to manage with that.

[Iron0Maiden]

After you wash it, dont brush it but maybe put in a little leave in conditioner. My sisters hair is liek that and if she dosent brush it, it actually curls. Brushing it could get it frizzy.

[spidermom]

My hair used to get huge and frizzy when it was shorter than shoulder length, but it took more length for the curls to form (but now it's too long to hold onto curls). Strange but true. So if her hair dries more horizontal than vertical, I'd still bet in favor of curls.

[Medievalmaniac]

ooooh, I'm actually excited to see the photo, and even more so when you say your husband has thick hair that tends to ringlets - you might be surprised, Mommy! You may see those ringlets on her, in the end!! (I had a friend in high school who wore her hair super-short from age 6 or so through our sophomore year, because it was bushy/frizzy. Then, the summer between sophomore & junior year, she tried growing it out. A little gel, air drying and scrunching - turned out, she had killer ringlets! Surprised all of us, and most of all herself and her mom, that under all that frizz was such gorgeous curly hair!! :D )

[swellmel]

grrr! our camera is missing! so no pictures. :( so when i washed her hair did CWC using the garnier fructis triple moisturizing shampoo and conditioner. i had a free sample! afterwards i ran 2 drops of olive oil through her hair and used my fingers to detangle and did *not* brush. so once it dried i was still confused. :p the back of her head is mostly what i think are s-waves. but the sides of her head have loose spirals. less frizz overall but still a little frizz. now it has been a couple days since it's been washed and i still haven't brushed it... and frizz is still way down! so apparently brushing= frizz for her. it is also more straight all over- not as many s waves in the back and the loose spirals in the front are pretty much gone but still hanging on to a little bit of wave all over. i will be taking lots of pictures of her hair our camera comes out of hiding.

[virgo75]

grrr! our camera is missing! so no pictures. :( so when i washed her hair did CWC using the garnier fructis triple moisturizing shampoo and conditioner. i had a free sample! afterwards i ran 2 drops of olive oil through her hair and used my fingers to detangle and did *not* brush. so once it dried i was still confused. :p the back of her head is mostly what i think are s-waves. but the sides of her head have loose spirals. less frizz overall but still a little frizz. now it has been a couple days since it's been washed and i still haven't brushed it... and frizz is still way down! so apparently brushing= frizz for her. it is also more straight all over- not as many s waves in the back and the loose spirals in the front are pretty much gone but still hanging on to a little bit of wave all over. i will be taking lots of pictures of her hair our camera comes out of hiding.


Yay! So happy it's coming together! :cheese:

Don't worry about there being spirals, straighter areas, and wavy areas - most curlies are a combination of curl types, not one uniform type all over.

As for the frizz - many(if not most) curlies will have at least some frizz unless they use a styling product(gel). Sometimes, even with gel, they'll have frizz. :shrug:

I'm sure her hair is lovely. :flower:
Can't wait to see the pics. :)

[julliams]

I think she is more wavy than you both think. Try washing her hair as normal, then when it is quite wet (but not dripping) run some gel through it and then use your towel (or an old t-shirt) and scrunch up her ends. Hold for a few seconds and then move to another part of her hair until all of it is "scrunched". Then just leave it and tell her (and yourself) not to put your hands through it until it is completely dry. This will define her waves. She may get a halo of frizz but this is totally normal and all us curlies and wurlies have it.

If she is too young for this, just try putting it in a single braid when it is about 50% dry and leave it to dry overnight. When you take it out in the morning she should have nice braidwaves and the frizz should be somewhat controlled.

If she has 2b or 2c hair, brushing and brushing will just leave her hair frizzy once dry. My hair is the same. I can brush it from wet and it looks as though it's going to be perfect and then "pouf" it ends up fluffing up and looking frizzed. I suspect she is a wurly and her natural hair will be gorgeous once you get a routine going.

You might think about getting a light leave in for her hair which you can apply after conditioning just to give her hair the moisture it needs.

Let us know what works for her. You are lucky discovering this for her now. I spent about 25 years working out that I had wavy hair - not straight hair that frizzed. My hair went this way after being perfectly straight as a little girl, then going "frizzy" in my tweens.