balancing hair needs?

[nytquill]

I've been mostly "off" shampoo since last November and it's going well. I've settled into mainly CO with the occasional diluted shampoo to clarify/deal with the extra-greasies (when I've been sweating a lot for example). And I have a leave-in/oiling routine after washing. Even still a lot of my length and especially the ends is pretty frazzled. I think a lot of it is still the stripped damaged hair from when I was using Pantene and coney products.

But lately I've started using just a teeny bit of coney serum on the ends and I have to admit they do feel nicer and look a bit less drab. When I was a cone user I used to get a lot of compliments on my shiny hair - I know that's what cones are made to do though.

I'm torn, I guess, between thinking that maybe cones are good for my hair in terms of keeping in moisture and shine, and thinking that they're bad because they also lock OUT moisture which is why I have these dried-out ends in the first place (cones made them look healthy; take the cones away and the hair underneath is fried?) I'm afraid to get back into cones and think it's doing good things for me when it's just an illusion. And I'm afraid of what it would take to deal with the buildup. Even a CO wash will leave me with a lot of flyways and dullness after it dries, so I don't want to have to use shampoo all the time - but I still do need to be able to go out in public!

What to do when you suspect your hair might like cones but you know it doesn't like sulfates? How should I deal with keeping my hair moisturized and as shiny as possible (I know shampoo commercial shine is inachievable in real life and involves a lot of product...but I have had much shinier, healthier-looking hair than I do now and I've never been a "product" user) without also having to constantly overstrip it to get rid of buildup and look presentably clean? Is this maybe some kind of temporary growing-out-the-damage thing where I should just accept that my ends need the cones they have been accustomed to, but try not to create that same dependency in the rest of my hair as it grows out?

[countryhopper]

Well, the issue of "to cone or not to cone" is different for everyone. You need to do what's best for you and your hair.

I DO know that if you want to go off daiily shampoo, there will be a bit of a transition period while your scalp adjust to not having to produce so much oil. That will leave your roots greasy and waxy feeling, but it usually only lasts a few weeks.

Another option it to use sulfate-free shampoos or shampoo bars. I have no experience with them, so I will let someone with more experience comment on that.

As for moisture, honey is good for that. You may want to lurk around the Herbal Haircare board to get some more ideas.

[nytquill]

Thanks for the response! :)

I didn't have much of a transition period, since even when I was regularly doing SC washes it was only every 3-4 days or so. Since last fall I've tried sulfate free SC, then CO, then WO and finally back to CO.

I guess a better way to phrase my question is: what should I do since my hair seems to like cones, but doesn't like the clarifying required to deal with regular cone use? How do I strike a balance between those two?

I also wonder if my hair really likes cones or if it's just cones doing what cones would do to anybody's hair by their chemical nature - making it softer and shinier. I mean they make most people's hair LOOK better but that doesn't mean it's actually good for your hair...right? So how do I tell the difference between my hair looking/acting better and actually BEING better? Because when there aren't any cones my hair is definitely different.

[squiggyflop]

well.. i found out the hard way that my hair needs cones.. LOTS of cones.. tons.. it wouldnt get longer than bsl without them

how to get moisture? well if you oil heavily before washing and let the hair soak it in even the coney-est hair will thank you because yes it can still penetrate cone covered hair..

trying to go off shampoo doesn't work for everyone.. but for some it works great.. some find their best thing is shampoo bars..

i personally use a VERY very diluted clarifying shampoo.. and suave professionals conditioner.. (the damage control one).. and then i use a children's detangler leave in cream.. (which works awesomely).. and then a detangling spray that vo5 makes..

now how to deal with clarifying.. well i would use it as an opportunity to do a deep moisture treatment.. nothing soaks up moisture like freshly clarified hair.. so after clarifying i would do a nice soak in your favorite hair deep treatment (oil,SMT,avocado mask, etc..) then CO after.. see balance.. moisture and cones in harmony

[naereid]

I'll be watching this thread since I'm in a similar conundrum. Squiggyflop's advice seems good...

After 4 months of trying to get conefree to work for me, my hair is finally soft and nice. But it also tangles more easily. When I used cones it didn't tangle nearly as much. Tangles are bad for growing out hair, obviously.

I like COing now, but I couldn't CO with cones.
And if I decide against cones after all, maybe I'd have to pass through another 4 months of transition again. No way. :(

No idea what to do.

[Dani]

now how to deal with clarifying.. well i would use it as an opportunity to do a deep moisture treatment.. nothing soaks up moisture like freshly clarified hair.. so after clarifying i would do a nice soak in your favorite hair deep treatment (oil,SMT,avocado mask, etc..) then CO after.. see balance.. moisture and cones in harmony

That's a fantastic idea. nytquill, thank you so much for posting about this. I've been trying to figure this out forever, too! My problem is that I can't use cones on my head (like in a shampoo) because it makes my scalp break out, and my back too, since it all runs down that way. Washing upside down just makes lots of tangles and it's too much hassle after the shower. I love CO, except for the fact that it is nearly impossible to not get conditioner on my skin. I could wash it off each time as best as I can, sure (and I always do!), but that doesn't even work, and my skin hates lots of soaps of any sort and scrubbing every shower, etc...

I was thinking I'd use whatever shampoo I feel like on my scalp (SLS-free or SLS clarifying), then using a coney condish on my length, distributing it on each side of my hair (like left and right sides), whilst leaning forward, and rinsing that way... which is what I always do with conditioner anyway, so it doesn't get on my skin. I think if I just stick to this every few days (alternating with cone-free condish too, if I feel like it), and clarify and deep condition whenever I feel like, as squiggy said, then it seems like that would be a good routine... I usually just put some coconut oil or jojoba oil on the ends and a bit on the length for my leave in after each shower, and don't comb until it's dry.

I've been trying to use WO and bs/acv, etc. rinses most of the time for quite a while now, because I just really don't want to have to use commercial products of any sort, but I'm feeling like it's a bit too much work for me, and doesn't work the way I'd like! I really just want this all to be easy, and no work, and as simple as possible, while still making my hair look and feel good. :p So for me, I think doing what I mentioned earlier should work well for me. I've been doing it on occasion, but without any coney conditioners. Methinks I shall try one out on the length today. :D Like I said, though, my biggest problem is getting that stuff on my skin! So I will do my best to keep it -away- from my skin. :p Good luck with this! There's got to be a simple, easy way to get nice hair, and we will figure it out. :cheese:

ETA: Just wanted to mention that I'm on my second bottle of Garnier Triple Nutrition conditioner, after reading about ppl loving it on here, and it really does work very well. I only use it on my length, and I did yesterday, and this is the only cone-free conditioner I've ever used that makes my hair feel and look like I used a coney conditioner! It's very soft and shiny, but not as flat and lank feeling as coney conditioners make my hair. I was just feeling my hair, and I saw my shiny pigtails in the mirror earlier, so I thought I should mention this, since I'm on the topic. :p :)

[HikerTrash]

I also wonder if my hair really likes cones or if it's just cones doing what cones would do to anybody's hair by their chemical nature - making it softer and shinier. I mean they make most people's hair LOOK better but that doesn't mean it's actually good for your hair...right? So how do I tell the difference between my hair looking/acting better and actually BEING better? Because when there aren't any cones my hair is definitely different.
I would think you could tell the difference between your hair looking/acting better and being better by how it acts without a lot of artificial stuff coating your hair. I mean, some of these treatments I've read about here sound like they soak in and help your hair but my understanding of cones is they just coat the surface. I want to try the Snowymoon Moisture Treatment (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128).