Another friend hair story!

[AnitaThorn]

Okay, so here's the lowdown. I went to high school with this girl, and we both used to be goth and dress in black, so we became friends. I used to chemically dye my hair black, and I had it like that for about 3 years, so she was used to it. I used to get it razor cut as well (I know, bad me! XD) So I never had it longer than...APL maybe? Maybe a tiny bit longer than that.

I am a TOTAL hippie now. My hair is long, I don't really wear makeup (or very little), I listen to hippie music (Janis Joplin, The Doors, Spirit, Jimi Hendrix, Grateful Dead, etc.), and I dress in bohemian style most of the time. She now highlights her hair, wears pink, and is pretty much the farthest from goth that you can get (Which is okay with me! I'm not trying to knock her style or say that mine's better, just trying to give you guys perspective.)

So she came over to do something with me for the fourth, since I hadn't seen her in a while. I was very happy to see her, since she's been having a rough time lately, and I thought it would cheer her up. So I got dressed in my usual garb, and when I answered the door for her, she said, "Wow!"

Me: Haha, what?
Her: Nothing, I'm just not used to seeing you like this!
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Well, with no makeup and with your hair like, long and...boring. There's nothing in it! There's so much I could do with you!
Me: Hahaha, what do you mean by that?
Her: Well, we could go shopping for new clothes for you and stuff. You're still GOOD at makeup, right?
Me: Uhm...yes?
Her: I just want to give you a makeover so bad! I think you'd look cute with a bob haircut and some highlights...oh, not that you look bad or anything...
Me: Well, to me honest, I'm planning on growing my hair to my knees.
Her: WHAT?

I was so surprised! She didn't used to be like that. It kind of blindsided me! We had a great time other than that, but I was just so...I don't know, shocked! XD I think I look pretty good. I don't think I need that much makeup anymore, personally. Like I said, I'm not trying to knock her style. She looks cute, I wouldn't ask her to change her style just because I didn't like it. And I don't dislike it!

I don't know dudes! What do you think? XD

[AnitaThorn]

Maybe I should have titled this: Another friend DISLIKING my hair...story? Haha, I don't know. XD

[Fethenwen]

I just find this so amusing, the way young people (including me) change so much, from one subculture to the other. From goth to pink fashionista! That is quite hilarious :D

Being a hippie has a lot of advantages, you save both money and the environment ^^ Good for you *thumbs up*
I can imagine she would like you to be like her, and that is why she would love to give you a makeover. Glad to hear you did not get offended :)

[AnitaThorn]

I just find this so amusing, the way young people (including me) change so much, from one subculture to the other. From goth to pink fashionista! That is quite hilarious :D

Being a hippie has a lot of advantages, you save both money and the environment ^^ Good for you *thumbs up*
I can imagine she would like you to be like her, and that is why she would love to give you a makeover. Glad to hear you did not get offended :)

Haha yes! It is quite interesting how people can change, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm a vegetarian who practically lives in thrift stores and the recycling center. XD

I didn't get offended because I knew she wasn't trying to offend me, plus, what's the point? We had a great night! Thanks for your post. ^^

[AnitaThorn]

Meep? So this board doesn't go down too quickly. XD

[Linainverse]

HAHAHA WOW!

Can honestly say that sort of thing has never really happened to me - Now that my hair is longer (only APL but for someone who used to have a 3inch haircut most of the time it's a big deal), everyone who hasn't seen me in a while comments on how much they love it. We'll see how the general consensus is when it's waist length I guess.

I agree with Fethenwen, good for you that you're saving money and indeed the environment from not wearing makeup or spending tons of money on your hair. I am the same - went from wearing makeup everyday to not even wearing it to work.

I would only encourage someone else to alter their 'style' if say they looked far more beautiful without the caked on makeup and chemically straightened hair, fake nails, fake tan etc, because, in the long run, they won't look so crash hot as a result. (not to mention the money they could save too!)

[AnitaThorn]

HAHAHA WOW!

Can honestly say that sort of thing has never really happened to me - Now that my hair is longer (only APL but for someone who used to have a 3inch haircut most of the time it's a big deal), everyone who hasn't seen me in a while comments on how much they love it. We'll see how the general consensus is when it's waist length I guess.

I agree with Fethenwen, good for you that you're saving money and indeed the environment from not wearing makeup or spending tons of money on your hair. I am the same - went from wearing makeup everyday to not even wearing it to work.

I would only encourage someone else to alter their 'style' if say they looked far more beautiful without the caked on makeup and chemically straightened hair, fake nails, fake tan etc, because, in the long run, they won't look so crash hot as a result. (not to mention the money they could save too!)

I totally agree with everything you said! Haha, seriously! Let's be friends. O.O Okay, that sounded slightly creepy...XD

Forgive me, I have been up all night. :D

[Linainverse]

Haha sure! I don't have any LHC friends as of yet. Hope that didn't sound creepy too?

But seriously, I look back on the person I used to be, the amount of money I used to spend. AH! Constantly ruining my hair with bleach and straighteners.. Never again!

[AnitaThorn]

Haha sure! I don't have any LHC friends as of yet. Hope that didn't sound creepy too?

But seriously, I look back on the person I used to be, the amount of money I used to spend. AH! Constantly ruining my hair with bleach and straighteners.. Never again!

I concur. :cheese:

[AnitaThorn]

Meep! Bumping this board. XD

[kabelaced]

People change. It's always interesting to remember how things used to be and exactly how much they change. I get a kick out of reminiscing on the directions my old friends have gone since we all first met. :D

Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, too, I think. (Forgive me for using so many clichés in one post! :o)

Keep on going in the direction that you want, though, because it's what makes YOU happy! :eek:

[AnitaThorn]

People change. It's always interesting to remember how things used to be and exactly how much they change. I get a kick out of reminiscing on the directions my old friends have gone since we all first met. :D

Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, too, I think. (Forgive me for using so many clichés in one post! :o)

Keep on going in the direction that you want, though, because it's what makes YOU happy! :eek:

I agree! Thank you very much! :D

[Kome]

I think other people are worried what other people will think of them with someone who is not "hip" like them. It's not that they think you don't look pretty. It's that they are blind sided by fashion and the way our society THINKS everyone should look, but really it's just all about money! Well maybe not all of it but UGH. I get so annoyed by this. I would have told her she should stop trying to look like everyone else. -__-

[AnitaThorn]

I think other people are worried what other people will think of them with someone who is not "hip" like them. It's not that they think you don't look pretty. It's that they are blind sided by fashion and the way our society THINKS everyone should look, but really it's just all about money! Well maybe not all of it but UGH. I get so annoyed by this. I would have told her she should stop trying to look like everyone else. -__-

Yeah, I agree. I think she has unfortunately succumb to that. I never thought she would!

[jane01]

Be yourself

[AnitaThorn]

Be yourself

I am everyday. :) Same to you!

[Crackaleen]

Oh my, I had a similar experience with a not-quite-good-friend/but more-than-an-acquaintance. This woman is quite the fashionista - lives in NYC (actually she just moved to Paris), wears designer clothes, hair is always cut and styled according to the latest trends. I, on the other hand, am somewhat like you in that I haven't worn make-up in several years for various reasons and lets just say that dressing fashionably is rather low on my list of priorities. ^.^
Her boyfriend and my husband used to work for the same company and we went camping with them once. We all got quite drunk and she confessed to me that I would be beautiful if only I made the effort to wear makeup and cut my hair. Luckily I have a weird sense of humor and found it quite funny, especially the drunken way in which she said it.

[ibleedlipstick]

You know, I think sometimes it is a bit of envy. I mean, sometimes I will see someone who is very much into the "hippie" style or doesn't seem super obsessed with their looks, and I envy them. I am still fairly obsessed with fashion and I don't leave the house without makeup. I love it, and I am okay with my style, but I sometimes get a tiny twinge of envy when I see someone so comfortable with themselves that they don't wear makeup.

However, I would never say anything rude to any of my friends who dress like that. It is their choice, and not mine. I love them too much to get too nitpicky with their style.

[Carolyn]

You two knew each other in high school when you shared a common style and interest. Then you both moved on in different directions. I'd be surprised if you were both still doing the same things as high school. It sounds as if the rest of your day together went well, after the hair comments. I doubt she had any idea she was saying something that upset you. She's in a very different place than you are at the moment. I wouldn't take her comments to heart.

[AZDesertRose]

I'm not the person I was in high school either, and I'm sure a lot of my high school friends have changed too. I wouldn't take any of it to heart.

P.S. I'm a hippie too. I'm going to go vegetarian when I have my own place again, and I try to buy organic, natural food and personal care products as much as possible.

[spidermom]

I've never had an experience like that because I don't have any friends, so it could be worse.

[Quezie]

Oh how people change. XD

I think my friends have learned to accept that I do things differently.

I had pink and purple hair for my last few years of high school, so I suppose they may be surprised when they see me with "normal" hair though. . .

[HintOfMint]

It's funny how you two both changed so much but in such different ways.
She changed in terms of subcultures, but not in maintenance levels. From what I can tell, Goth can be quite high maintenance.
You have changed both subcultures and maintenance levels, so I guess, technically, you have changed far more than she has. Changing the mindset that you need a lot of product, manipulation and various sundry "add-ons" to look the way you want to look is far more radical than simply changing styles or aesthetics. Whether you're goth, punk, or legally blonde pink, many subcultures and styles have the need for maintenance in common.
It sucks that she's pretty lackluster about your current aesthetic, but you should consider the source. She probably never thought that giving up the primping was a viable option for her. I don't think she was being malicious. I think she just doesn't get it.
Enjoy her company (as long as she does not harp on you about your look) while standing your ground.