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Atlantic
June 23rd, 2010, 08:11 AM
I don't normally read articles like this, but I was waiting for DH at the optician's today, so I made it two-thirds of the way down and discovered...

What EVERY woman needs to know about why men cheat... (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1288748/What-EVERY-woman-needs-know-men-cheat--man-spent-years-talking-hundreds-unfaithful-husbands.html#ixzz0rgYQkJFI)


First, be wary of women with long hair. One of the most unexpected things I discovered was that men nearly always cheat with women who have longer hair than their wives.

:)

twilight
June 23rd, 2010, 08:31 AM
?!

the 'fantasy' of it all, i guess... so weird. :rolleyes:

if my husband was lame enough to be fooled into fidelity by something as trivial as hair length, i wouldn't want to be with him anyway! :eek:

spidermom
June 23rd, 2010, 09:10 AM
The things that go through other people minds!

I don't think I have much to worry about on that account.

slythwolf
June 23rd, 2010, 09:34 AM
Oh, what a silly article. Men cheat because they make a decision not to honor their promises and not to be honest about it. Sheesh.

Svenja
June 23rd, 2010, 09:43 AM
if my husband was lame enough to be fooled into fidelity by something as trivial as hair length, i wouldn't want to be with him anyway! :eek:
Thank you! Exactly what I thought when reading the article :)

RoseRedDead
June 23rd, 2010, 09:46 AM
Am I the only one who thinks that's hilarious?

Next they're going to be saying it's always with younger women. What about the men who cheat with older women, or, GASP, other men?

young&reckless
June 23rd, 2010, 09:49 AM
Priceless, sad thing is some people will believe this stuff.

Pear Martini
June 23rd, 2010, 09:51 AM
After reading that article, it has made me lose more faith in men. 50% of marriages end up in divorce, and many women are happy dating men who have another woman.

Its just pitiful.

I am young, and relativley inexpierienced but most of the marriages I have witnessed, have ended in divorce or the husband cheated but the wife forgave him.

I would never be able to forgive a man for cheating on me, I would want to hit him on the head with a frying pan, and kick him out of the house for good.

Belisarius
June 23rd, 2010, 09:54 AM
I would never be able to forgive a man for cheating on me, I would want to hit him on the head with a fring pan, and kick him out of the house for good.
As the article makes clear, if more women had such a zero tolerance policy less men would cheat.

slythwolf
June 23rd, 2010, 09:57 AM
You don't have to have faith in men to get married. You just have to have faith in your partner specifically. I would not forgive my husband if he cheated, but I know he never would. As I would not cheat on him.

Not only because we made a promise to each other and choose every moment of our lives to keep that promise, but because I don't want to be with anyone else, and neither does he. If we had not been sure that we would keep this promise no matter what, we would not have made it.

If you don't find that with someone, do not get married.

slythwolf
June 23rd, 2010, 09:58 AM
As the article makes clear, if more women had such a zero tolerance policy less men would cheat.

I have to disagree, for the simple reason that women do not control men's behavior. They would still cheat. They just wouldn't cheat on the same woman more than once.

Capybara
June 23rd, 2010, 10:06 AM
How interesting. Thanks for sharing!

I do agree with slythwolf; they would just continue cheating, albeit on different partners.

Sunsailing
June 23rd, 2010, 10:10 AM
You don't have to have faith in men to get married. You just have to have faith in your partner specifically. I would not forgive my husband if he cheated, but I know he never would. As I would not cheat on him.

Not only because we made a promise to each other and choose every moment of our lives to keep that promise, but because I don't want to be with anyone else, and neither does he. If we had not been sure that we would keep this promise no matter what, we would not have made it.

If you don't find that with someone, do not get married.


You are a very wise person :)

Marriage is not easy. It takes a lot of effort, but true committment is essential.

Angela_Rose
June 23rd, 2010, 11:01 AM
I just find that article amusing, and I have to giggle over their presumption that some men are hardwired to be less than faithful. Personally, I can't really see the appeal of being with only one person for the rest of forever, but you've all seen my posts on being polyamorous so perhaps I'm not the best person to ask about this! In any case, most men aren't going to see a woman with long hair and automatically become ful beasts who immediately have to cheat on their wives.

princessp
June 23rd, 2010, 11:15 AM
Drat our secret is out! I shall now tell you the lesser known acronym for we LHCers: "League of Home wrecking Connivers" :D

kabelaced
June 23rd, 2010, 11:24 AM
Oh, what a silly article. Men cheat because they make a decision not to honor their promises and not to be honest about it. Sheesh.

Amen to saying it how it is! :p

Hana
June 23rd, 2010, 11:38 AM
Hahaha! :D I'm gonna take it with a pinch of salt and a side order of coindidence, though.

trolleypup
June 23rd, 2010, 11:45 AM
Drat our secret is out! I shall now tell you the lesser known acronym for we LHCers: "League of Home wrecking Connivers" :D
Well, Dang! Now it makes sense why I have [edited due to AutoBrainInGutter Syndrome] all those married women following me!

Arriens
June 23rd, 2010, 11:55 AM
I have to giggle over their presumption that some men are hardwired to be less than faithful. Its not only man, both sexes are hardwired to cheat. From a genetic point of view, it gives advantiges to cheat. For man, more children then just the one you are raising, thats obvious. For woman however, having kids from different partners has the advantige of having more diversity. IE, if your husband has some 'inferiour' dna, his children will be 'inferiour' as well. If the lady cheats, not all her kids end up 'inferiour'.




Spoken from a guy who found out his ex gf got hiv positif by jumping in the rose bushes and not knowing which horn pinched her...




But thats a bit off topic. I do agree with the article that usually males go after younger/better looking/bigger breasted/long haired females.

maybe sparrow
June 23rd, 2010, 12:06 PM
These sorts of bits of wisdom are almost always, mysteriously, in the Dailymail. Heh.

Angela_Rose
June 23rd, 2010, 12:57 PM
Hey, Arriens. I wholeheartedly agree with you...

I make it a point to be faithful to my partners. I'm (fairly obviously, I think) a female and I seem to be happier when I have more than one romantic partner in my life. If I were stuffed into a monogamous mold (again) I would probably go a little crazy and end up cheating. I prefer to steer clear of the dishonest route.

HintOfMint
June 23rd, 2010, 12:57 PM
I have to disagree, for the simple reason that women do not control men's behavior. They would still cheat. They just wouldn't cheat on the same woman more than once.

"Because the next time that he cheats/ Oh it won't be on me." Had to belt that out :p


Drat our secret is out! I shall now tell you the lesser known acronym for we LHCers: "League of Home wrecking Connivers" :D

Hysterical! Maybe I should change my hair growing goal from "hip" to "Long Haired Hussy.":p

ETA: For the record, I absolutely deplore cheating and I have never, nor will I ever cheat or knowingly be party to cheating.

Angela_Rose
June 23rd, 2010, 12:59 PM
PrincessP, I thought LHC stood for Longhaired Heart Crushers! Have I been wrong all these salacious years?

slythwolf
June 23rd, 2010, 01:09 PM
Its not only man, both sexes are hardwired to cheat. From a genetic point of view, it gives advantiges to cheat. For man, more children then just the one you are raising, thats obvious. For woman however, having kids from different partners has the advantige of having more diversity. IE, if your husband has some 'inferiour' dna, his children will be 'inferiour' as well. If the lady cheats, not all her kids end up 'inferiour'.

Having multiple partners does not equal cheating. It's entirely possible to be faithful to multiple partners within an open and/or polyamorous relationship if you are honest and stick to the boundaries agreed upon, and serial monogamy also exists.

But apart from that, I get annoyed when people start talking about relationships as if the universal and only purpose of them is having children. Considering I don't want any.;)

Arctic_Mama
June 23rd, 2010, 01:19 PM
That is a vile article for a vile behavior. I can't even imagine, my husband hadn't even KISSED another woman before he met me, he was so committed to finding 'the right one' (and he was 28, successful, and handsome, so he'd had a lot of opportunities!). I am convinced that cheating is a weakness of character far more than a biological imperative, and I am grateful my husband finds me beautiful AND worthy of faithfulness!

And yeah, he prefers my hair long, but he sure as heck didn't cheat when it was short!

princessp
June 23rd, 2010, 01:22 PM
PrincessP, I thought LHC stood for Longhaired Heart Crushers! Have I been wrong all these salacious years?

Lol! Okay I vote to change LHC's alternate acronym from League of Home wrecking Connivers to Longhaired Heart Crushers. Then we can do more home wrecking without having to really think about it! :p

By the way my DH said "Well then you have nothing to worry about. The again, you better keep those LHCers away!" (He was kidding) :p

Angela_Rose
June 23rd, 2010, 02:36 PM
:highfive: to PrincessP. Motion seconded!

eschmi1
June 23rd, 2010, 02:47 PM
I think the article is incredibly biased. Cheating cannot be gender specific. Women can cheat just as much as men do. :hmm:

zenobia
June 23rd, 2010, 04:12 PM
If my husband ever cheated on me, he'd be out on the street before he could blink. (But I don't worry about it. He's not the type. At all.)

Ice~Cold~Wind
June 23rd, 2010, 04:22 PM
Wow, if that were the case then women would be growing there hair out just to keep there husbands/boyfriends. Haha, this kind of made me laugh.

buzzlegum
June 23rd, 2010, 04:47 PM
Haha...If your wife has short hair, you might be tempted by a longhaired beauty, you always want what you can't have...Or it's just the fact that women with long hair are (usually) younger and/or seen as more feminine...But you never know, you might have long hair, and then your hubby cheats on you with a 'sexy, bold, confident' (just using stereotypes here) pixie-cut person because, again, it's just the opposite of you :P But yeah, if your partner doesn't value your relationship and doesn't respect you, your long long braid won't keep him...And vice versa.

Mexibeach
June 23rd, 2010, 04:55 PM
It's horrible the way things seem to roll. Everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side - but guess what; people is people - if he cheats on his wife, he'll cheat on his mistress etc etc The grass isn't any greener on the other side!

Merewen
June 23rd, 2010, 05:09 PM
Well gosh, now my motivation to grow my hair is out.

My favorite part is that we have to be wary of the possible other woman. If I had to worry about every woman my husband came across, I'd be a miserable woman. This is why I married a man I can trust to be faithful. Faithfulness is the responsibility of the people in the relationship, not the other random people they come in contact with.

xoxophelia
June 23rd, 2010, 05:24 PM
My ex cheated on me with a 44 year old woman who looked like Pugsely Adams, was very overweight, AND had shorter hair than me.

We are both 22 by the way.. .. ;_;

No telling who it could be. There definitely aren't any rules.

jane53
June 23rd, 2010, 05:41 PM
Hmmmm. This would seem like a reason to NOT have long hair, if there is any reliability to this silly article.

Why would you WANT something that would lead to the betrayal of other women?

I know my logic is skewed. Of course the cheating hubby is at fault, but so is the woman screwing around with a married man. Of course, he could lie and say he's not married, or he could claim that he and the wife have an open relationship. But I wouldn't trust such claims from a guy.

My long hair isn't for men, married or un. It's for me.

And I don't mess with married men because, even if they claim to have an open relationship, I wouldn't trust them unless I got the same story from the wife. And I won't knowingly inflict damage on another woman.

Oskimosa
June 23rd, 2010, 05:56 PM
Drat our secret is out! I shall now tell you the lesser known acronym for we LHCers: "League of Home wrecking Connivers" :D

:rollin: Good one.

And yea, my dad cheated with consistently less attractive women with shortish hair (until now, since I love who he's with now regardless of appearance and hope to one day call her my stepmom); my mom is stunningly beautiful with long naturally blonde hair. She was a tad heavy but dropped all the weight and he still cheated. :shrug: It's not always about physical attraction. It can start with an emotional affair. Cheating is simply an action, many factors can lead up to it. I hate, hate, hate articles that arbitrarily group people together. Just because someone belongs to a gender doesn't mean they will behave in a certain way :rolleyes:

diginado
June 23rd, 2010, 07:01 PM
Ok - will be married 30 years this September - happily, I think I can say for both of us (and he's in the room with me and I just asked him! "Have I been happily married for thirty years?" "Why yes, you have!" And you?, even happier!)
Have long hair now but have been short haired a couple of times- the length of my hair is up to me and it is what makes me happy. And when Mamas happy, everybody is happy.
Also have mentioned to him a couple of times that I watch Law and order, NCIS, et al as research - I will not get divorced but will try murder ;-)

May
June 23rd, 2010, 07:48 PM
If you check that article it's interesting that Chris Huhne's wife Vicky has longer hair than Carina Trimingham, the mistress...she actually has shorter hair...

And...John Terry's wife Toni has very long hair... I think this article is contradicts itself, not once, but twice. lol :P

slythwolf
June 23rd, 2010, 08:02 PM
One thing that my mother told me from her reading when she and my dad were going through their divorce was that usually when someone cheats it's with someone as different from their partner as possible. So for instance my mom is very tall and thin, the Other Woman in my dad's life was short and stocky.

Obviously the solution to this is not to cloister your partner away from everyone different from you. XD

Arriens
June 24th, 2010, 12:28 AM
Having multiple partners does not equal cheating. It's entirely possible to be faithful to multiple partners within an open and/or polyamorous relationship if you are honest and stick to the boundaries agreed upon, and serial monogamy also exists.
True, but I believed we are talking about the monogamous relationships.You won't hear me saying a bad word over polyamorous relationships (as they can be very fun for all involved:eyebrows:)

LittleOrca
June 24th, 2010, 02:13 AM
...My favorite part is that we have to be wary of the possible other woman...

I remember learning about this in a class... how the media makes women want to hate other women, a sort of "divide and conquer" method. If we are fighting each other we have no time to devote to real causes and then we are the sheep they want us to be. That seems to be coming across in this article... that and some twinge of paranoia.

Das Siechtum
June 24th, 2010, 04:30 AM
I've read the article and I just wanna quote once:

"Iím not a trained psychologist.."

And now, my laymans view on the subject:

Of course, long hair is a factor. It stand for availability ("look at me!"). Age is a factor too. Its a bit like, you see to apples, one is a bit old with wrinkles and on is brandnew. Which you gonna take? And my take on the whole marriage subject: It goes against human nature. Males (and females) want to reproduce. Yes, you have the chemical bonding which is called love which holds several years, after that both partners got so used to each other, that they don't want to change something ("I cannot be alone") or several habits of the partners piss them off over time and they get divorced. This can be a cause for the man/woman to cheat.

Igraine
June 24th, 2010, 05:30 AM
I've read the article and I just wanna quote once:

"I’m not a trained psychologist.."

And now, my laymans view on the subject:

Of course, long hair is a factor. It stand for availability ("look at me!"). Age is a factor too. Its a bit like, you see to apples, one is a bit old with wrinkles and on is brandnew. Which you gonna take? [snip]

I quite disagree with this. My hair (and those of many other lovely LHCers) will stay long through our highest uhm...unavailability periods. Evolutionary psychology should be taken with a grain of salt...

Age does not necessarily determine attractivenes. I see "meh" 20yos all the time and stunning 40yos (men and women) . Also, some posters above said just that the other woman was "different", and in some cases quite unattractive by conventional standards.

goldielocs
June 24th, 2010, 07:18 PM
I love my husband unconditionally, but my marriage is conditional and he knows it. That was part of the pre-marriage conversation. I grew up in a household where cheating was allowed so I've already lived with the pain of it all. I'm at the point where there would be no crying or yelling.

I'd just leave him.

It is true that people cheat because they can get away with it. My mother's husband (not my father) cheated and fathered a child when they dated, she forgave him. He cheated and fathered another child when they married. And she told me last week he may have another on the way. I have no idea why she stayed, but what can I do? She's an adult.

bahoban
June 24th, 2010, 08:20 PM
Quote:
First, be wary of women with long hair. One of the most unexpected things I discovered was that men nearly always cheat with women who have longer hair than their wives.


ohhh I'm safe,, wait:confused::confused::confused: I don't have a man!!:cheese: :p

James M
June 24th, 2010, 08:39 PM
Maybe the guy in the article had a major hair f**ish?

RavennaNight
June 24th, 2010, 09:10 PM
Great. Be wary of women with long hair. They are apparently homewreckers. :rolleyes:

The laundry list of what a woman with long hair must be:

Let's start with my favorite:
Selfish!
Vain!
Unable to let go of youth!
Hippie!

And now: A Homewrecker!

:rolleyes:

HintOfMint
June 25th, 2010, 12:18 AM
I remember learning about this in a class... how the media makes women want to hate other women, a sort of "divide and conquer" method. If we are fighting each other we have no time to devote to real causes and then we are the sheep they want us to be. That seems to be coming across in this article... that and some twinge of paranoia.

There is truth to this, although I wouldn't tack it onto the vague, all-encompassing bogeyman that is the "media." After all, the media (cable television, network television, lady-centered magazines, what have you) is run by people. This is a people issue.

I will agree on the "divide and conquer" method. Instead of distrusting the dogs-with-tails-on-the-other-side who like to chase women who are not their wives or girlfriends, women are encouraged to target THEIR targets. We decide to HATE women we perceive as beautiful because they supposedly threaten our relationships, particularly when they work with our men. This only gives credence to the idea that, because of a woman's looks, she is a distraction to men in the workplace and therefore SHE has to do everything in HER power to not comprise a threat. It doesn't matter if she is married, a lesbian, asexual, JUST PLAIN UNINTERESTED, or a professional woman who knows her boundaries, a beautiful woman is nothing more than competition for other women and a distraction for men. Basically, not only are the boys clubs upset that women are getting jobs, but their wives are ticked as well. This attitude is misogyny at its finest, and moreover, is perpetuated by both sexes.

RavennaNight
June 25th, 2010, 06:08 AM
I think the media is also destroying the positive image marriage should have in the eyes of men. How many movies and TV shows depict the wife as:

1.A fun killer
2.Doesn't let hubby have/hang out with friends.
3.once she is a mom she is not sexy anymore
4. Or the flipside she is a desperate housewife
5. Who does nothing but spend hubby's money on drapes and knicknacks.
6. And drag him to the opera,
7. Nag him about everything,
8. Completely distrusts him and searches for phone numbers in his belongings.
9. And tries to change everythig about him once they are married!


Guess what? I would cheat on me too if I were like that!

Angela_Rose
June 25th, 2010, 06:44 AM
RavenaaNight, I'd cheat on me, too. That broad sounds awful.

berr
June 25th, 2010, 07:51 AM
I think the media is also destroying the positive image marriage should have in the eyes of men. How many movies and TV shows depict the wife as:

1.A fun killer
2.Doesn't let hubby have/hang out with friends.
3.once she is a mom she is not sexy anymore
4. Or the flipside she is a desperate housewife
5. Who does nothing but spend hubby's money on drapes and knicknacks.
6. And drag him to the opera,
7. Nag him about everything,
8. Completely distrusts him and searches for phone numbers in his belongings.
9. And tries to change everythig about him once they are married!


Guess what? I would cheat on me too if I were like that!

Actually, I know women like that (except the opera part). I know women that could nag about the sun coming up in the morning. I try to keep those kind of people out of my personal life. It drives me insane. I don't know any men that do that but have had a couple of really rude snotty male customers so I'm sure it exists.

I work with a passive-aggressive woman that SEARCHES high and low for anything to complain about on her coworkers. Possibly it's because she makes more mistakes than anyone else so she has to point out each and every minor mistake?? and yes... I can't shut up. I've told her off a couple of times but it doesn't seem to sink in.

Sissy
June 25th, 2010, 08:09 AM
Great. Be wary of women with long hair. They are apparently homewreckers. :rolleyes:

The laundry list of what a woman with long hair must be:

Let's start with my favorite:
Selfish!
Vain!
Unable to let go of youth!
Hippie!

And now: A Homewrecker!

:rolleyes:

yeah, too bad on the negative stereotypes. The only one that REALLY bothers me is, "homewrecker" because I would never, ever be that although I do have long hair. I think someone who could be a homewrecker is terrible (or at least certainly nobody I'd want to be around or hang around with my husband), even though I know it takes two to tango and the man who did it would be terrible in my eyes too.

xoxophelia
June 25th, 2010, 10:37 AM
Long hair stereotypes for women:

-youthful
-beautiful
-fantasy/princess
-nature lover
-ultimate metal queen
-feminine

There will always be haters but they can't take away what we are ;)

nowxisxforever
June 25th, 2010, 10:41 AM
After reading that article, it has made me lose more faith in men. 50% of marriages end up in divorce, and many women are happy dating men who have another woman.

There's nothing wrong with someone dating two people, or being married to one and dating the other. What's wrong with cheating is the dishonesty and lack of consent from all parties involved.

I have a girlfriend, and a boyfriend - and they're married. We're perfectly happy and there is not - nor was there ever - any cheating.

Just adding my perspective...

practikalmagik
June 25th, 2010, 10:56 AM
I couldn't even get down to the bit about hair, the victim blaming in that article is atrocious.

Cheating is down entirely to the man or woman doing the cheating. They make a choice.

freckles
June 25th, 2010, 11:10 AM
I couldn't even get down to the bit about hair, the victim blaming in that article is atrocious.

Cheating is down entirely to the man or woman doing the cheating. They make a choice.

:agree: totally agree, thanks.

MeganE
July 31st, 2013, 09:41 AM
I know this thread is beyond dead, but I just saw this article for the first time and I have to tell you:

I find it so freaking funny that I all I can say is I love it.

ETA: I mean, here's this apparently serious, well-considered essay talking about a truly heart-wrenching topic. And then randomly... be wary of women with long hair. Men nearly always cheat with women with hair longer than their wives!! And then goes on to tell other serious heart-wrenching stories. The contrast of the incongruity is richly beautiful.

Juniper.
July 31st, 2013, 11:16 AM
Of course women are to blame for men cheating, it's the Daily Mail! :p

(I guess some of you aren't familiar with this woman-shaming, piece of crap newspaper. Don't pay attention to anything in it. Honestly, it's not good enough to wipe your you-know-what on).

massivecnqstdr
July 31st, 2013, 11:21 AM
Of course women are to blame for men cheating, it's the Daily Mail! :p

(I guess some of you aren't familiar with this woman-shaming, piece of crap newspaper. Don't pay attention to anything in it. Honestly, it's not good enough to wipe your you-know-what on).

I second that! It's bologna - all of it!

jacqueline101
July 31st, 2013, 11:34 AM
It's entertaining.

Leeloo
July 31st, 2013, 11:38 AM
I second that also