Pushy hairdressers

[Long_hair_guy]

For the last month I have needed to get a trim (I trim my hair around 7 to 8 months). Having been told my old hairdressers has moved any from my area I had to find a new hairdressers to cut my hair. So I booked a appointment for a haircut/trim just after I finish work today.

When I arrive there were only two people in the store. The owner/hairdresser and a trainee person (I believe), I made myself noticed and I was taken to the seat in front of the mirror to talk about what I wanted. I basically said 'I wanted a trim about a inch of the ends' and you could see his confused look on his face. Within a second he gave his idea for my hair which was some type of layered shoulder length thing and I responded with 'nah I just want a trim' (just making it out to as a joke) but then he got his trainee to bring me some magazines to show me that it was in fashion. He then said 'think about after we wash your hair' which took me back because I basically said no him. So I allowed the trainee to wash my hair (badly I may add) which in after he comes up to me and basically says so what about my idea. At this point I knew I wasn't going to get what I wanted so I basically said I don't like your idea and that I only wanted a trim not to be some celebrity wannabe. After that he agreed to just trim my hair but since I didn't trust him and I didn't want him touching my hair. So basically paid for the hair wash and left with my hair still being damp.

Has this happened to anyone else? Were the hairdresser was way too pushy

[jane53]

Yes. Years and years ago I developed a practice of telling the hairdresser in no uncertain terms exactly what I wanted. And then I said, "If I see more hair on the floor than I asked you to trim, I'll pro-rate your fee accordingly."

Happily, I have now found a hairdresser with LONG hair herself--tailbone length. She always does whatever I want, although she sometimes tells me I DON'T need to trim as much as I suggest because my ends are healthy. Love her! And it's so much nicer not having to be a biatch with hairdressers!

[Angeletti]

I'm glad you walked out! when I was younger once and had maybe BSL hair the hairdresser kept telling me how damaged my ends were (from sun in) and how it needed to be cut out of my hair, yadda yadda, well she ended up cutting it up to my shoulders even though I told her I didn't want it all cut out! that's probably why I haven't been able to go back to a hairdresser in over three years now that my hair is long : )

[LadyLongLocks]

No, it has not happened to me, but I want to say that I think it's great that you walked out!
They should respect your wishes. I think you taught him a good lesson!
Find someone better, ask friends who they use.

[Pandora.]

This is why I am much too frightened to go and get my hair cut by a hairdresser.

[ericthegreat]

For the last month I have needed to get a trim (I trim my hair around 7 to 8 months). Having been told my old hairdressers has moved any from my area I had to find a new hairdressers to cut my hair. So I booked a appointment for a haircut/trim just after I finish work today.

When I arrive there were only two people in the store. The owner/hairdresser and a trainee person (I believe), I made myself noticed and I was taken to the seat in front of the mirror to talk about what I wanted. I basically said 'I wanted a trim about a inch of the ends' and you could see his confused look on his face. Within a second he gave his idea for my hair which was some type of layered shoulder length thing and I responded with 'nah I just want a trim' (just making it out to as a joke) but then he got his trainee to bring me some magazines to show me that it was in fashion. He then said 'think about after we wash your hair' which took me back because I basically said no him. So I allowed the trainee to wash my hair (badly I may add) which in after he comes up to me and basically says so what about my idea. At this point I knew I wasn't going to get what I wanted so I basically said I don't like your idea and that I only wanted a trim not to be some celebrity wannabe. After that he agreed to just trim my hair but since I didn't trust him and I didn't want him touching my hair. So basically paid for the hair wash and left with my hair still being damp.

Has this happened to anyone else? Were the hairdresser was way too pushy

You did the right thing. The fact that this hairstylist in question was so adamant about cutting your hair in that layered style despite you telling him repeatedly that you only wanted to trim your ends is a huge warning sign to me. He probably would have given you that haircut he was talking about still, trust me I'm a hairstylist myself and I have met with and gotten to know many other hairstylists.
The hairstylists who have his kind of attitude always assume that "they know better" than their client, and these kind of hairstylists will always do what THEY WANT to do to your hair rather than what YOU WANT to have done to your hair.

[freckles]

I think it's great that you left. I don't think I would have been assertive enough to do that :)

[laurathexplora]

Ugh! That's almost creepy. I can't wrap my head around the idea of everyone wanting to look the same and getting the "in-fashion" hair cut. It makes me sick. Around here(in the US) if you want your hair the way YOU want it to look, according to your personal aesthetic, people think you're a freak and should be locked-up. Plus, you were a paying customer. What the heck was that stylist thinking? I'm proud of you for walking out. :)

[Tiina]

Something similar happened to me too in February. I had about shoulderlenght hair (which I had been carefully growing out from a bob) with a blunt hemline, no layers. It was dyed red but the roots were showing so I went to a salon.

At first, it went well. I told the stylist the color and he agreed to only do the roots and leave everything else alone. So he applied the dye, I sat back and read my book.

After rinsing my hair, he started to dry and style it. With heat of course. But no matter, I thought, it can't harm much since I only go to a salon every 3-4 months anyway. I turned my attention back to reading until suddenly I felt as if something fell off my head. WTH?

Sure enough, it was my hair. Apparently the stylist had gotten the idea that I wanted a cut! I stared at the mirror with a stony gaze but said nothing for I cannot argue any man who holds sharp metal objects near my throat.

I left the salon with layers to my jaw and the lenght hanging awkwardly on my shoulders. Needless to say, I was not thrilled. In fact, I was just stunned. Stunned and afraid. I paid and I left, carefully containing my emotions, lest the stylist become a threat to my health.

It's been 4 months since then and fortunately my hair has grown back. It is still layered but the shortest are stroking my shoulders now. I have been too afraid to have it trimmed blunt again, as it would set my growth back a lot. It doesn't look right and it won't for a long time but if I can avoid it I will not go to a stylist again. I will even let my natural colour grow out just to avoid it.

[Wavelength]

Good for you! You did the right thing and I hope this will inspire other longhairs with the courage to just get up and leave if they find themselves arguing with a pushy hairstylist.

It's YOUR hair, so YOU should have the final say -- not the stylist!

[CaliforniaAnne]

Due to hair stylist trauma as a small child, my mother stopped taking me to a shop, and I've never been to one on my own since, still remembering the terrible "one-inch" trims (which were actually at least five), and the bangs that rather than be left at a reasonable length, were trimmed up to the tippy top of my forehead. I will never go to one of these places again. Ever. I trim my own bangs and don't go near anything else.
I did have a similar situation to this one though, but not in a hair salon--instead, something much more permanent. I went to a very well known (in my area) piercing parlor to get my last piercing. I wanted something very simple, and knew exactly what that was. However, the lady at the counter, when I was filling out the shop's paperwork kept telling me that I shouldn't get just this last little one in my earlobe, but why not try something new? I politely told her that I wanted my simple one, that I already had as many as I wanted, and didn't want anything else. She continued to persist, pointing out weirder and weirder ones that I really didn't want, and getting quite stroppy when I finally got really annoyed and told her that I would not be using her store. She couldn't understand why on Earth I'd be so close-minded. I mean really? We are poking holes in my head, and I'm being close-minded? I will never go back to this place, nor will I recommend going there. I left without getting the piercing. I mean, for all I know, they could have just decided to do my anti-tragus instead of my earlobe. People sure are weird...and presumptuous. :/

[spidermom]

I'm so glad to read that you left. There have been so many stories where the red flags were going up immediately, yet people sat in the chair and got a haircut they didn't want from somebody they didn't trust from the start. I really don't understand that degree of submission.

I've had a few bad haircuts, but one of them was because the 9-months-pregnant stylist shouldn't have been on her feet and the others I write off to not communicating what I wanted very well. The only stylist I could describe as pushy basically refused to give me something new and merely trimmed 1/2 inch or so off the bottom, which was not at all what I wanted at the time, but he thought my APL hair was so gorgeous that he didn't want to cut it.

[emma907]

The last time I went to the salon I asked her to cut only 2 inches off (my ends were fairly damaged)... after she finished she showed me the result in the mirror, and she had cut off at least 4 inches! I was a little shocked and she told me "it's still long" I explained that yes, in the grand scale this length (she cut it to APL) is long, but not to me! .... She just didn't understand.

I have vowed never to go back to a salon again!

[UltraBella]

I am thankful that all the stylists I currently have are very good at listening, repeating back what the client is desiring, and respectful of their hair requests.

[Amraann]

It is great that you walked out!

So many do not. Better to have an uncomfortable moment getting up and leaving rather then regretting the hair cut and being stuck unhappy while you grow it out.

I think it is fine for a hairdresser to suggest what they think what would look nice on you but once you make it clear that your not interested they should drop it.

[Fireweed]

I love it when people stand strong.

[Yozhik]

Gah! This is why I'm terrified to go into hair salons!
And why I've bought hair shears so I can do it myself, when the time comes. Now I'm on a no-trim year, but in time I'm going to cut my own hair. That way, even if it's not perfect, it's something I did to myself.

[eschmi1]

Good for you for walking out. When I was younger, hairstylists would persuade me into cutting about four inches off (!!!) my hair because it was dead, yada yada yada. It was awful.

[HintOfMint]

I have never had this happen to me. Keep in mind, I have had some BAD haircuts. But I have never had a hairdresser say, "no, we are going to do THIS!" I can't imagine how they stay in business.
The only time a hairdresser has countered what I asked for is when she was essentially correcting me. The picture of the hairstyle I brought in was of a very fine textured girl and would probably not work for my hair. I really appreciated her honesty

[GoddesJourney]

I haven't let it happen to me, but I'm glad you walked out. Some hairdressers just want to make you happy with your hair. Others are more interested in "pursuing their own artistic ideas" which they think are better than yours because they're "experts" in style. Who's style? Theirs, of course. They're usually pretty easy to spot because they're not interested in finding out what you want, but more interested in telling you what you *should* want. Wierd. I cut my own hair now because what I usually want is easy to do. I feel it's a waste of money to pay someone to just trim in a straight line. Anyone who charges a reasonable price for that, in my experience, is not capable of doing that.

[BunnyBee]

If your hair is long enough, you'd do well to learn to trim your own hair http://community.livejournal.com/feyeselftrim

:)

[Pimpernel]

This is a prime example of why I'm so jaded against hair stylists. This kind of thing has happened to me way too often. The worst was when I had been growing my hair out from a pixie and black dye. I had finally gotten most of the color out and it was below my shoulders. I went in and explained to her that I was growing it out and wanted only a trim. She happily said O.K. and cut my hair into a VERY SHORT style that was popular with black girls in my area.

I asked her what happened and she said, "I didn't like what you wanted to do and I only cut hair the way I want. I don't want someone with bad hair advertising for me." When I protested she rolled her eyes and said, "I know much more about hair than you do."

I've never been so mad at anyone in my life, either before that or since. I still want to scream thinking about it.

[lastnite]

good for you for walking out. it takes alot of guts to do that. I guess people are willing to take a bad hair cut in order not to hurt the hairdressers feelings or risk feeling embrassed just walking out with wet hair.

I never walked out myself, but hairdressers sometimes have felt like sales people by pushing a cut. They seem to know what to say to talk me into a cut that I didn't plan.

I avoid salons now more because of the way they wash hair. the tangling and rough combing they do is enough to keep me away. Imagine telling the stylist to only shampoo your scalp area, not pile the hair on your head and to take their time gently combing it out?

[Kome]

THANK YOU for walking out! You are a good example of what someone should do. I hate reading these horror stories about people who went ahead with the trim or PAID after they cut all of their hair off.

Last year I made the mistake of going in to get LAYERS ONLY. I asked her not to cut the bottom because I had JUST trimmed it myself. She cut off 6 inches... 6 INCHES. That's a YEAR of hair growth. What a -----. I will never go to a hair dresser again. My hair looks FABULOUS. People ask me where I get it done so I obviously don't need a hairdresser to mess it up when I do a fine job myself. HMPH! :P

[Loreley]

You did the right thing when you walked out! I don't trust hairdressers so I cut my own hair. I've had bad experience with them.

[maybe sparrow]

Man, this forum is good for developing stylist paranoia.

Luckily, my current one LOVES my hair. I think her inner hippie (she was trained in the late 60's in San Francisco) is jealous.

[maybe sparrow]

This is a prime example of why I'm so jaded against hair stylists. This kind of thing has happened to me way too often. The worst was when I had been growing my hair out from a pixie and black dye. I had finally gotten most of the color out and it was below my shoulders. I went in and explained to her that I was growing it out and wanted only a trim. She happily said O.K. and cut my hair into a VERY SHORT style that was popular with black girls in my area.

I asked her what happened and she said, "I didn't like what you wanted to do and I only cut hair the way I want. I don't want someone with bad hair advertising for me." When I protested she rolled her eyes and said, "I know much more about hair than you do."

I've never been so mad at anyone in my life, either before that or since. I still want to scream thinking about it.

Please tell me you didn't pay that woman.

[LittleOrca]

It's stories like this that keep me from going to salons. I have heard too many of them, and sometimes I have even gotten crap from my hair stylists in the past. I can only think of one time when I said I wanted "it all one length" and the woman didn't do it (instead she trimmed my fairytale ends shape) because she told me "I know you wanted to keep your hair long and if I had trimmed it all one length you would have gone from waist to your arm pits." If I could see her each time, I might go for a trim once every year or so, but I don't know her name and I think she has moved on to another shop.

[Amraann]

Please tell me you didn't pay that woman.

I was going to say the same thing!

In the US you can refuse to pay if they mess up your hair.

[Francoise1606]

Wow Pimpernel that story was horrifying! One thing would be to misunderstand what you wanted, but to deliberately cut you hair that short and not tell you is purely evil!

[Long_hair_guy]

Pimpernel hopefully you didn't pay her. She didn't do the job you told her to do.

I do feel a bit guilty about walking out 5 mins afterwards but I'm still happy on what I did. I have found another hairdressers so lets hope they understand what I want I feel sorry for that trainee who has to put up with that guy.

[Alun]

That was a wise decision.

I'm not sure that I've ever been given a style I didn't want, but the number of times I've lost twice the amount of hair I wanted cut is too many to count, to the extent that I've learnt never to ask for more than half of what I want cut off. If I want an inch taken off, I ask for half an inch, etc.

Mostly, though, I don't get my hair cut atall! It saves the drama, if nothing else.

[GRU]

Pimpernel hopefully you didn't pay her. She didn't do the job you told her to do.

I do feel a bit guilty about walking out 5 mins afterwards but I'm still happy on what I did. I have found another hairdressers so lets hope they understand what I want I feel sorry for that trainee who has to put up with that guy.


You have NOTHING to feel guilty about! Esp. since you paid for the shampoo (even though it was poorly executed)!

If you went to a car dealership and said you only wanted a white Corvette and they tried to tell you that you HAD to buy a yellow Cobalt but still pay the Corvette price, would you have felt guilty for walking out?

Whether it's a $20 haircut or a $50,000+ vehicle makes no difference in my opinion. You have the right to spend your money on what YOU want, not on what they want to sell to you!

[tanya222]

Good for you for walking out! I hope I would have the guts to do the same thing but probably not! Years ago a hairdresser took off 6 inches of my hair after I had asked for only 1 inch off. If it weren't for the fact that she said it was crooked and I had to have it fixed even I was tempted to walk out and not pay :mad: If they don't know how to cut hair evenly (or at least fix it so they don't have to take off 6 inches to even it :mad:) then they shouldn't be cutting people's hair!! I don't know if I was madder at the loss of 6 inches or madder at myself for paying for what I didn't ask for...

[christine1989]

That is so strange! Why on earth would he care what you do with YOUR hair?! Afterall, he gets paid regardless of what haircut you get. I have had the same hairdresser since I was 4 years old. Once he retires I will never get my hair cut again.

[julliams]

Well done to you for getting up the guts to leave. I have sat in chairs that many times thinking that I should go but I never do telling myself "it will grow".

[lastnite]

I was going to say the same thing!

In the US you can refuse to pay if they mess up your hair.

I didn't know this. Do you need to have it in writing telling them what you want and them signing it or something, because it could be their word against yours?

and it's true they get paid the same whether they cut 1/2 inch or 6 inches... so I don't really understand why they feel the need to cut more.

[sarah061]

Gah! This is why I'm terrified to go into hair salons!
And why I've bought hair shears so I can do it myself, when the time comes. Now I'm on a no-trim year, but in time I'm going to cut my own hair. That way, even if it's not perfect, it's something I did to myself.

Same here!
And that's awesome that you walked out, I need to work on being that assertive.

[countryhopper]

I agree with bunnybee; Feye's self trim method is WONDERFUL! I will NEVER pay for a simple trim again! There is really no way to mess it up.

[Theobroma]

Stories like the ones in this thread are the reason I've been to a salon all of twice in my entire life (at age 12 and 13). I got what I wanted both times, but what I wanted on both occasions was anything but a small trim, and the probability of a random hairdresser thinking that a small trim is at least eight inches seems too high to take the risk.

I do my own trims. By Feye's method, though I came up with it on my own before I'd ever heard of Feye. It works just fine for me.

[sweet*things]

The last time I was in a salon (about 5 years ago) I left unhappy. Unfortunately I couldn't not pay because the whole thing was a gift from my MIL. We'd just moved back to my DH's hometown and she gave me and my daughter a gift certificate to the salon that's been cutting her hair forever. And she came along with us, so I didn't feel comfortable making a scene.

The stylist did okay on my daughter, but my hair turned out crooked. It was about 1.5" shorter on one side, and all I'd asked for was about 2 inches off with a blunt hemline. I thought it must be my imagination, or that I was twisted in the chair when she showed me the results, but it was way, way off. The stylist didn't seem to know what to do with long hair, and the salon definitely specializes in short "old lady" cuts, so it wasn't a good fit for us anyway. I had to make my DH recut it later that day, which was exactly what I'd been trying to avoid.:rolleyes: But, that's a subject for a whole 'nother post. :lol:

I just can't believe that long hair is that hard to cut. :confused: What is so hard about cutting straight across the bottom?

[Jezzie]

This is a prime example of why I'm so jaded against hair stylists. This kind of thing has happened to me way too often. The worst was when I had been growing my hair out from a pixie and black dye. I had finally gotten most of the color out and it was below my shoulders. I went in and explained to her that I was growing it out and wanted only a trim. She happily said O.K. and cut my hair into a VERY SHORT style that was popular with black girls in my area.

I asked her what happened and she said, "I didn't like what you wanted to do and I only cut hair the way I want. I don't want someone with bad hair advertising for me." When I protested she rolled her eyes and said, "I know much more about hair than you do."

I've never been so mad at anyone in my life, either before that or since. I still want to scream thinking about it.

I don't think I could have contained myself if this happened!! I mean how dare she just go ahead and cut it how she wants.

It's when I read threads like this that I'm thankful to have had the same wonderful hairdresser since I was a child who always listens.

[hm85]

iv been going to the same hairdresser now 4 5 years and shes just learnt how i like it recently but shes such a good hairdresser, suppose its lucky when you find 1 xxx

[Sunsailing]

iv been going to the same hairdresser now 4 5 years and shes just learnt how i like it recently but shes such a good hairdresser, suppose its lucky when you find 1 xxx

That is the key......when you find a stylist you like, keep going back to that exact same stylist. If you walk in cold to a salon that you've never been to before, then you're just asking for bad results.

I went to one stylist for 14 years. I followed her to 3 different salons. She eventually moved far away, but she recommended one of the other stylists in that salon (which I had observed many times).
I've been going to my current stylist for 10 years. She helped me grow my hair. She would literally just trim 1/8" during my growing process. When I ask for 1/2", that's exactly what gets cut.

Also... if they do a good job, I highly suggest to tip her/him very well!

[Tap Dancer]

I've never met a pushy hairdresser, thank goodness, and I've been to my share of salons over the years. I've been going to the same salon for almost 10 years now and I've had the same hairdresser for about 4 years.

OP, you were right to walk out. I wouldn't trust someone that pushy, either.

[Sunsailing]

iv been going to the same hairdresser now 4 5 years and shes just learnt how i like it recently but shes such a good hairdresser, suppose its lucky when you find 1 xxx

That is the key......when you find a stylist you like, keep going back to that exact same stylist. If you walk in cold to a salon that you've never been to before, then you're just asking for bad results.

I went to one stylist for 14 years. I followed her to 3 different salons. She eventually moved far away, but she recommended one of the other stylists in that salon (which I had observed many times).
I've been going to my current stylist for 10 years. She helped me grow my hair. She would literally just trim 1/8" during my growing process. When I ask for 1/2", that's exactly what gets cut.

Also... if they do a good job, I highly suggest to tip her/him very well!

[Pumpkin]

Thank heavens you walked out. I am very proud of you. I too have had bad experiences with stylists, when I knew deep in my heart I just needed to get up and leave. Since I am growing out a pixie, I will trim my own hair, thank you very much. No more salons for me!!

[QueenTifa]

Haha, now we know why there was only the Hair dresser and his trainee in the shop.
But it's great that you have the guts to say no, I'm inspired :)

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

GAH! :( That reminds me of how my mother used to keep my hair at a short pixie when I was a kid. I always told her that I was trying to grow it out! Atleast I don't have to worry about hair stylists(my mom's an ex stylist and she cuts my hair).

[Mexibeach]

This is EXACTLY what I plan to do the next time I ever go see someone about cutting my hair. I've not been tactfully forceful enough and with this cut I regret not being more (tactfully) direct - they just seem to do whatever they want. Good for you! I really will do the same thing if I notice the hairdresser isn't going to do or isn't doing what I ask...

[GRU]

Reading this thread has made me appreciate my stylist all the more!

Even though I haven't been to see her in a couple of years now (grew out my layers and bangs, no need for a haircut, and I cut DS's hair with clippers), I've been *completely* faithful to her since I discovered her in 1991-92. NOBODY but me or she has touched my hair with scissors since I met her.

Even after over 15 years together, she would STILL hold up a tress between her fingers and show me how much she was planning to cut off before the first snip and ask if that was okay with me. She would do this at EVERY appointment, even though she knew *exactly* what I wanted done.

Not surprisingly, she's extremely popular and fully booked. Back when I had bangs, I'd get them done every 8 weeks, and I'd schedule for my next appt at the end of each appt (two months in advance), for fear of not being able to get in if I wasn't already in her book.

If I could, I'd clone her and send a copy of her to every single one of my fellow LHCers! She really is a dream!!! (and if anyone in SW Michigan wants a referral, just shoot me a PM)

[Pimpernel]

I honestly don't remember if I paid her or not. I can't imagine that I did. That was the worst cut to grow out too because it was cut at an angle *shudders*. Sadly, I don't think I've had any really good salon experiences and I've been to some of the most expensive salons too. I'm at the point where the only thing I will let a stylist do is give me a trim with a straight hemline. I usually go to Fantastic Sam's (which is the most low end in my area). I find the stylists there don't have such an ego to contend with and since I'm only getting a trim, they are perfectly capable.

[Pimpernel]

By the way, I cut both my husband's and son's hair and would like to be brave enough to try trimming my own. I think when it grows out some more I will finally give it a go. I am just so jaded against stylists (no offense to those here).

[orbiting]

To be honest, I only had an issue when I lived in VA - and I think I can chalk that up to cultural differences (I have fine, thin hair... the hairstylists I saw were more used to dealing with the hair of African American women and they would use thinning shears and way too much product on my hair. One left me with bald spots in my pixie cut).

I think the reason I don't have an issue is, up until the last two or three years, I would sit in the chair go "I hate my hair - Please do magic!" and the stylist would. I would tell them basics: No buzz cuts, nothing overly tricky that I can't recreate at home, minimal gunk in my hair. And every time I walked out with an *awesome* hair cut.

Now? My best friend is a hair stylist, I let her do it for me.. :)

[HotRag]

When I was younger, hair dresser always took more off than asked.

And always said:
1. It IS two centimeters! (Showing three inches = 7,5 cm between fingers, even though I before she cut, showed what I meant with 2 cm between my fingers...)

OR

2. "But it was needed." Why not tell the customer that before choping extra?

The worst was when I went (with almost classic as a 11 year old child) for a trim and I and my mom asked for 2 cm. They cut 20 cm. I started crying, and they said "but it was needed, we coudn't do anything else". Yeah, right...

They finished off the visit by saying that I must trim 4 cm every 6 week if I wanted it to grow :D

I have a dresser now that I can trust, but I don't feel the need to visit when it's easier to trim myself.

[30isthenewblack]

Good on you for walking out. I think it's better to seem rude than sit there and potentially get months/years of growth cut off.

[Amelia]

If your hair is long enough, you'd do well to learn to trim your own hair http://community.livejournal.com/feyeselftrim

:)

Thank you so much for sharing the information. Next time i want to trim my ends, i'll use these intrutions.

@ OP: So glad you stood up and left. i would have done the same. It's been years since i last went to my hairdresser. She is a nice lady and cuts what I ask. i haven't been back since starting to be a long hair wannabe. I have no idea how she would react to it. Meanwhile I've been cutting my own hair. Big chops and small trims. I guess I can't go wrong because my hair is 2c/3a and if I make a mistake it 'hides' in the curls ;)

[Long_hair_guy]

I just got back from a GOOD hairdressers. She pretty much cut off a inch plus she commented on how healthy my hair was (which is always nice to hear). During getting my hair trimmed I was thinking of picking up one of the inches of hair and showing it to that idiot hairdresser to show him what a inch is but I didn't. I tipped her since she did what I asked.


You have NOTHING to feel guilty about! Esp. since you paid for the shampoo (even though it was poorly executed)!

If you went to a car dealership and said you only wanted a white Corvette and they tried to tell you that you HAD to buy a yellow Cobalt but still pay the Corvette price, would you have felt guilty for walking out?


I know but I feel guilty about random things like walking about homeless people and not giving them money or walking passed people with questionnaires and not talking to them. I hate hurting people's feelings so I guess that is why I felt guilty.

[GRU]

I'm so glad you found a good hairdresser!


I know but I feel guilty about random things like walking about homeless people and not giving them money

[:soapbox:]

When my DS was about 7-8yo, he asked me why the guy standing at the end of the highway ramp with a cardboard sign saying he was "homeless and hungry" could afford cigarettes but he couldn't afford food? (A pack-a-day habit around here will cost you over $2,000/year.) I'm able to not feel guilty about driving on past because I contribute to the local shelters (we have several) -- if they choose to not take the help where it's offered, that means it's their choice to go without food and shelter.

[There was actually a "letter to the editor" in our local newspaper written by a homeless guy who was bitching about one of the shelters. It's run by a Christian organization, and they require everyone to sit through morning prayers (a couple minutes before breakfast) and evening service (less than an hour) in exchange for dinner, a shower, a bed, and breakfast. This guy was complaining that it "wasn't fair" to make someone listen to religious crap. He didn't seem to understand the fact that it isn't fair to the people footing the bill if he uses their services but doesn't offer something (an hour of his time that he wasn't doing anything with anyway because he has no place to go and no job or anything else to do) to them in return. :rolleyes: I am getting SO sick and tired of this "entitlement complex" that society has developed!]

[/:soapbox:]

[Unofficial_Rose]

This is a prime example of why I'm so jaded against hair stylists. This kind of thing has happened to me way too often. The worst was when I had been growing my hair out from a pixie and black dye. I had finally gotten most of the color out and it was below my shoulders. I went in and explained to her that I was growing it out and wanted only a trim. She happily said O.K. and cut my hair into a VERY SHORT style that was popular with black girls in my area.

I asked her what happened and she said, "I didn't like what you wanted to do and I only cut hair the way I want. I don't want someone with bad hair advertising for me." When I protested she rolled her eyes and said, "I know much more about hair than you do."

I've never been so mad at anyone in my life, either before that or since. I still want to scream thinking about it.

That's just awful. But I have to say, judging by my own experiences and those of others on here (and IRL) that is the stylists internal dialogue quite often, even if they are not as outspoken as that. That they know what's best and what you think is at best a guidline and at worst an irrelevance.

Not all stylists, by any means- I've just been really lucky and had someone do exactly as I ask (trim it so it is all one length, no layers, back same length as sides). Perfect. :)

But the time before that I had someone who decided to 'take the weight out of the back' and also cut the sides really short, when she knew I was growing it. So the latest cut was to correct that cut, because it went mullety after 2 months. :mad:

So admiring the OP for walking out. I'm still dreadfully unassertive when I'm in the hairdressers chair (although not anywhere else, thank god). Glad you got a good cut elsewhere.

[kmoc123]

That is why I dust and S&D myself...

[Stormphoenix]

Long Hair Guy, good for you for walking out. I know there was a time when I should have done what you did. You are an inspiration to me if it ever happens again.

[iShampoo]

GAH! :( That reminds me of how my mother used to keep my hair at a short pixie when I was a kid. I always told her that I was trying to grow it out! Atleast I don't have to worry about hair stylists(my mom's an ex stylist and she cuts my hair).

My parents weren't stylists at all but for some reason my dad insisted on cutting my bangs. I told him several times I didn't want bangs but he kept doing it until I moved in with my mom when I was 14 or 15.

[iShampoo]

When I was little I grabbed a pair of scissors and chopped off a few clumps of my own hair (I don't remember but I was 3 or 4 at the time.) I do remember my first visit to a salon, I was scared to death, mostly because it was so dark for some reason, and I was afraid it was going to hurt. As a child I had some terrible things done to my hair. When I got older I told my stylist not to use any hair spray or mousse in my hair and she agreed.

The last time I went to a stylist I walked in wearing kind of an angsty looking t-shirt, so the stylist (different from when I was little) assumed I wanted something kinda punk looking. She did do a very good job, but it wasn't quite what I wanted. Then she forced me to buy some Rusk serum. Now my BF helps me trim my ends once in awhile.

[2peasinapod]

Ugh, I hate it when they make assumptions based on how you're dressed! I had that happen to me all the time - to the point where I even used to dress up for a haircut (ridiculous, I know)! Why can't anyone just listen to what I say, not look at what I'm wearing?:mad::mad::mad:

[ArcticNights]

I dont trust hairdressers with short hair anymore. It takes much more skill to mantain beautiful long hair. But hairdressers always think about how they can get you back as soon as possible into the salon, so dont trust anything they say.

You did right to walk out of there :D

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

My parents weren't stylists at all but for some reason my dad insisted on cutting my bangs. I told him several times I didn't want bangs but he kept doing it until I moved in with my mom when I was 14 or 15.

Yeah, my mom insisted on cutting bangs into my hair. I LOATHED them. :mad: She always said that If i didn't cut them, they would be in my eyes. I told her that if she gave them a chance to grow out, then I could clip them back, or better yet, have them long enough to put up into a bun or a braid like I can now.:rolleyes:

[share801]

Good for you! If I had been that smart in the past I'd have probably avoided some disasters.

[RachelRain]

I used to sit there while bangs were cut into my hair because 'my hair belonged to my mother, not me' (yes, she used to say this, because I was a kid so decisions about it were hers to make)...

after about ten years of my postponing appointments due to nonexistant 'homework' and letting said bangs grow as long as I could before she finally dragged me, she managed to get the picture. :) only took forever and a day.

yay for you for walking out.

[James M]

Long_Hair_Guy,

You are my hero, this is great!

I've had pushy hairdressers, but never the balls to just be like "no thanks, here's some cash for the wash, but I don't trust you."

Instead I've had pushy, usually attractive :(, hairdressers convince me otherwise, and then they ruin my hair/and or mt pathetically grown beard. But you know what! It's my pathetically grown beard, and my shaggy hair, WHY YOU GOT TO HATE ON ME!?

So cheers to you :) I'll be taking this approach next hair styling I go for (months away)

-James

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

I used to sit there while bangs were cut into my hair because 'my hair belonged to my mother, not me' (yes, she used to say this, because I was a kid so decisions about it were hers to make)...

after about ten years of my postponing appointments due to nonexistant 'homework' and letting said bangs grow as long as I could before she finally dragged me, she managed to get the picture. :) only took forever and a day.

yay for you for walking out.

Heh, I always told my mom that it was my hair, so I would do what I wanted to do with it. She would then reply, "I don't care, I have to be seen with you". :laugh:

[zule]

My nightmare story. I was about 26 or so, and healing from surgery. I had difficulty doing my own hair, and when a friend of mine suggested I treat myself by going with her to her very fashionable, upscale designer stylist, I agreed--very excited, too.

My hair was nearly waist length.

While I was getting shampooed, the stylist came over, quickly whipped out his scissors, and lopped off a piece to neck length! It happened so fast, and I didn't see the scissors because he was behind me. I went numb, in a kind of shock. I was so weak at that age, and had to get some sort of style, that I allowed him to finish. I cried for days.

My husband is the only one allowed to touch my hair now, and has been for years.

[countryhopper]

While I was getting shampooed, the stylist came over, quickly whipped out his scissors, and lopped off a piece to neck length! It happened so fast, and I didn't see the scissors because he was behind me.

What exactly was the point of taking off a peice of hair that short??!! Did he even explain himself? I hope you complained and got him fired. I see absolutely NO EXCUSE for doing that!

[Dragon]

I dont find hair dressers pushey. They just seem to do what they want. I ask for a trim and they take off heaps and add layers I dont even ask for. The last time I went to the hair dressers when I was 18, They swept the floor befor I had a chance to see how much they took off. I could feel the difference in weight thow. when I was 19, my hair was starting to get kinda long again. I let my Mum trim it as she likes to when I'm at there place and she took several inches off. Was saved by the rain last time as she was not going to take no for an answer. Havent been back since and I have been triming my own hair for the last two yrs now. Never again will I trust any one with my hair. Yay, Its finely down to my waist for my first time. Dont you hate hair dressers?

[ButterCream]

What exactly was the point of taking off a peice of hair that short??!! Did he even explain himself? I hope you complained and got him fired. I see absolutely NO EXCUSE for doing that!

GASP! :agape: How terrible!
I agree, NO excuse! It was YOUR hair, how dare he:confused:

[shyone]

About a year ago I was nagged into going to the hairdressers to get those ragged ends off.I requested a maximum of 2 inches off but the hairdresser thought she knew best and hacked off 6 inches.I was furious and regretted paying her for months afterwards.The last 3 months my hair needs a trim but there's no way that I will go to a headdressers again!

Headressers seem to think that they are entitled to do what they want with the payer's hair but really if this happened in any other job occupation we would not tolerate it, so why do we tolerate it with hairdressers?Imagine if you went to a cafe and requested one meal and received a totally different meal all because the waitress felt that meal "was better".You would complain!Yet this is what hairdressers do daily!

[Capybara]

I've made it a habit to bring a small ruler to hair appointments (haven't gone in over a year, but still) to show the stylist exactly what I mean when I say how much I want cut off. Despite this, I remember one haircut where I asked the stylist to give me long layers (in my then waist length hair), with th shortest layer a maximum of 3 inches above the hemline of my hair. Long story short, she began by cutting a thick shoulder length layer more quickly than I could react. Fortunately, it grew out to a more manageable style, but I was traumatized.

[DiablitaNoir]

I've never had a hairdresser who was pushy or anything like that but the last time I had my hair cut was two years ago and it was a little below jaw length back then. I went in for trims to keep the ends healthy since I color my hair. I only wanted the tiniest amount you could take off but the stylists always hacked off a lot more than I wanted. Well, May '08 was the date of my last cut and I don't care that I have split ends...not going to a hairdresser ever again! They always seem to take off more than you ask for! I can trim my own hair if the split ends come to bother me that much since I trim my bangs anyway.

[LouLaLa]

Ive found a really good hairdresser now, but in the past Ive had hairdressers who think one inch is five and that layers look good on my extremely fine hair. My mum says I come across with a bit of an attitude sometimes but as I tell her and I have told hairdressers in the past, im paying for something, thats a service, I have not asked for a consultation, I have given a clear instruction and if they wont do it for cash there is another who will take it gladly.

If I go t a shop and ask for a mars bar I dont expect to get given a kit kat do I? And a taxi driver has to take you to your destination, not 50 miles in the opposite direction becuase they think youll like it more.

So yes maybe im a bit terse but I always try to be as nice as possible unless the hairdresser thinks they are hair gods in which bcase I usually have a good stare at their overprocessed hair.

[LouLaLa]

What exactly was the point of taking off a peice of hair that short??!! Did he even explain himself? I hope you complained and got him fired. I see absolutely NO EXCUSE for doing that!

Thats horrifying. Im a lawyer and in the UK that is actually classifed as a battery/assault you know. You could have sued in civil law, there was actually a case where a husband lopped his wifes hair off without consent and she sued him for alot of money.

[Igor]

I will never ever understand why customers let their hairdressers get away with these things!

No, I’m serious

Imagine having a building project where the contractor builds a bridge instead: “But the bridge looks better on the lot than the building you wanted!”
Or a cleaning lady where you want the floors cleaned and waxed: “Yea but your windows were dirty and the floors are clean enough!”

Hairdressers are the only profession in the world where people let them get away with doing what they want to do for you
And people don’t even storm out! Or refuse to pay for the butchering! And even in the cases where people do storm out or refuse to pay, it seems they don’t even tell the hairdresser why they did it

I don’t get it :shrug:

Edit: LOL LouLaLa said the excact same as me

[akrasia]

It's funny, I got a trim this week and I was thinking how much I like the little salon in my town. If I tell her I want an inch off, the stylist takes hold of about an inch, holds it up so I can see, and says, "So--this much?" And makes it nice and straight. So there are good stylists out there! I think it helps to be a bit bolshy and go in there with very specific instructions.

Good for you for walking out!

The WORST salon experience I ever had was when I went to this really chi-chi salon my sister-in-law recommended to me, to get ready for a wedding. I told the guy I wanted an elegant up-do, and he said, "Oh, I know just the thing!" I'd never had my hair professionally done before, so I was a little excited to see the magic he'd work.

My hair's straight, okay? So this guy spritzes my hair and then blow-dries it--you know, to make it straight. I was thinking, hey, won't hurt to have a blow-dry for once, but after a while I could SMELL MY HAIR BURNING yet he was still blow-drying it! Finally I had to pull away and ask him to stop.

Then for the big special hairstyle, he twisted my hair into a low chignon, then fixed it in place with some hairpins. I was just sitting there in shock while he held up a mirror and said, "Now you look just like Gwyneth Paltrow!"

(I should mention I was dancing full-time then so I had my hair in a low chignon ALL DAY EVERY DAY. And I did not resemble Gwyneth Paltrow. I still don't.)

You don't even want to know how much I paid for that whole--experience. I went home and slathered olive oil on my hair to repair the damage!

[akrasia]

... and zule, what a terrible story!

[kjirstiben]

My own worst hairstylist story came when I was still highlighting my hair. I'd gone into a new salon and mentioned to the colorist that my hair was extremely porous and dry, and it would absorb any color/bleach extremely quickly. She nodded and slapped bleach on my foils, then sat me under a dryer with the bleach on for over half an hour, as I recall...

When I got home, I found a section of hair near the crown that was frazzled and BURNT OFF to a length of an inch.

I never went back (also made a point, after that, of asking people if they'd ever dealt with curly hair before--and I wouldn't book an appointment with people who hadn't).

[HikerTrash]

Good for you long hair guy.

Back when my hair was short my pushy hairstylist was always trying to get me to color my hair. I've never had my hair colored. Thankfully she never did color my hair. At least she listened, but eventually she started treating me badly. I think she wanted me to go away. Now I have my mom trim my hair once a year.

[OtiggerificO]

Well done to everyone who had the confidence and attitude to walk out, I don't think I could have done that.

I never used to have a huge problem with stylists. My Mum used to bribe me with an annual trip to her expensive hairdresser, and yes, they'd serially take off more than I'd asked for but since I wasn't actively intent on growing it I was never that bothered.
However, after moving to uni, I've found a lovely lass who does a 'student trim', it costs £5 and she'll take off only what you ask for in a straight line. Basic, but perfect for me :D

[beez1717]

Omg I want that student trim!!!

My barber is an older man who does my hair as I ask. I now wonder if barbers don't mess with your hair as much as hair dressers... Any opinions?

[OtiggerificO]

I love my student trim it's true :)
I'm sure somewhere in most towns there will be somewhere that's cheap just does the basics.

Well, to be horribly sexist, I figure that barbers might not have had as much experience with long hair and would therefore be more inclined to just do as they're told, maybe?

[LouLaLa]

I will never ever understand why customers let their hairdressers get away with these things!

No, I’m serious

Imagine having a building project where the contractor builds a bridge instead: “But the bridge looks better on the lot than the building you wanted!”
Or a cleaning lady where you want the floors cleaned and waxed: “Yea but your windows were dirty and the floors are clean enough!”

Hairdressers are the only profession in the world where people let them get away with doing what they want to do for you
And people don’t even storm out! Or refuse to pay for the butchering! And even in the cases where people do storm out or refuse to pay, it seems they don’t even tell the hairdresser why they did it

I don’t get it :shrug:

Edit: LOL LouLaLa said the excact same as me

Im very happy to know at least one person gets me, we should for a club and perform salon interventions :p

[Mutinous]

I once went to get some colour put in my hair, I think I was about 18 or so, and basically didn't know what I wanted. I was in a new city and hadn't found a salon or anything so I booked in for the closest one near me and asked the opinion of the hairdresser. He told me blonde and red would look good in my hair (which is very dark), and whilst I did have both of those before, I'd never had them together.

My hair being so dark, it took ages for the bleach to lift up, and he obviously didn't anticipate the time it took, so he took the foils off early, slapped the 'red' dye on, all the while explaining to me that he was late for his next appointment (which really wasn't my fault).

He then washed the dye out before it was done, asking me as he washed it out if it was okay that it was pink instead because he didn't have the time for it to develop to a red! Luckily I didn't really mind too much, but I thought it was a bit cheeky.

And then, as I was leaving he asked me out on a date! I mean, yes it's nice to be complimented, but whatever happened to professionalism? Needless to say I didn't go there again, and I now have a hairdresser who is amazing.

[akrasia]

Wow, that takes the cake.

[30isthenewblack]

I am thankful that all the stylists I currently have are very good at listening, repeating back what the client is desiring, and respectful of their hair requests.

That's good to hear UltraBella! More hairdressers should be like you! I love watching Tabitha's Hair Salon. She teaches hairdressers to advice clients if a hairstyle is not suitable for their hair type but to also respect their client's wishes. Unfortunately, there are hairdressers out there who give good hairdressers a bad name!

[Sassenach]

After a string of hairdressers I didn't like, I did some research on Yelp [online rating site, with dozens of local sections] and found one I did. Reading the reviews can be quite illuminating.

[Tabihito]

For whatever reason, I've never had a problem at any of the Aveda-based salons I've gone to. They've always been very, very nice, and the hairdressers have always either given me what I asked for if I knew what I wanted, or given very good suggestions if I didn't. Back when I was going through the growing-out-the-buzz-cut stage, I had two stylists who gave me a few cute cuts without sacrificing too much length.

And since I only go once every six months or so, I don't feel guilty spending thirty to forty dollars on a haircut. They do a good job, and it always smells really good in there.

However, when I got my hair chopped off, oh god, that was a bad experience. It was a SuperCuts or something like that, as the town I was living in didn't have another salon and I didn't feel like hopping on the train to go to Tromsø to find one. Lesson learned: If you don't speak the language very well, don't try to ask for one centimeter off- you'll end up with centimeter-long hair before you know what's happened!

[Lunarennui]

Strangely, the people who have listened to me best have all been at Great Clips. Even when they warn me 'This is going to look awful' and I insist, they do *exactly* what I ask them to. If it *does* look awful, I accept the blame. Usually, they stare and say 'I never would have believed it, but this looks great on you!'

...I still keep a very sharp eye on them as they're doing it, though. Just in case.

[Igor]

I stick with drop-in places. They know you probably won’t return, so they just want to do what you ask for without any fancy stuff since they won’t get paid for the upkeep anyways

Especially if you just want a blunt trim they’re good. They wont have set too much time off for the scheduled trim that they then want to “fill” by giving you layers or highlights or whatever they can come up with

[Dreams_in_Pink]

Well, on the other side of coin they might "sometimes" be trying to drag you the right way. When i had waist length hair (pre LHC) whenever i went to a salon to get it cut to shoulders they always gave me short layers while maintaining the length. They always used to say my hair's not the kind to be cut too short.

They were right :D I chopped my hair myself and then regretted it badly (after the chop i went to a different salon and they also said "this hair shouldn't have been cut..." )

[RachelRain]

I stick with drop-in places. They know you probably won’t return, so they just want to do what you ask for without any fancy stuff since they won’t get paid for the upkeep anyways

Especially if you just want a blunt trim they’re good. They wont have set too much time off for the scheduled trim that they then want to “fill” by giving you layers or highlights or whatever they can come up with

Sounds like a barbershop :) if I ever let other people cut my hair again I'll be going to one of those... they don't seem to care how it looks on you as long as you pay 'em when they're done.