View Full Version : "you should start caring for your hair"

June 17th, 2010, 09:03 AM
I cant believe she told me that! That was my stylist today when i decided to straigten my hair for the first time in 4 month.
I am totaly broken right now.My hair is in horible condition,no obvious growth at all,HORRIBLE ENDS, and hell so thin...
For 2 hours all she told me was:
"your hair is shedding like mad! You should see a doctor"
"your hair looks so weak"
"you know you should starting caring for your hair,its such a shame to waste it like that"
"you should even those ends"
and thats it..
I think i wil trim it when i get home..I feel so sad right now that all my work was in vain..When she was done the amount of har in her comb was crazy..I dont know wat to do..

June 17th, 2010, 09:14 AM
If your ends are in bad condition (from previous damages, could be months to years ago!) you won't see as much/any growth, as the ends will break off. You can keep patiently treating your hair well until those ends are gone, or trim them off yourself. :) Or you could go through and snip individually damaged hairs, which is what I usually do.

As to the thinness, has your hair always been thin? If so, it might just be what your hair is like. If not, has your diet changed? Lots of stress? If neither of those apply you might in fact have a medical issue, either of the scalp or internal (hypothyroid is a common one).

What do you do to your hair to better it?

June 17th, 2010, 09:22 AM
I'm sorry to hear you are so discouraged. It's hard to start the day planning a little treat for yourself only to see it go awry.

Have you looked at the articles section recently?

I have several links for you.


Make yourself something nice to drink, read them, do some tests on your hair and then decide what to do.

Don't let that hairdresser get you down.

June 17th, 2010, 09:31 AM
Stylists are an odd creature.. They're some of the only people whose hair advice almost everyone takes to heart. Yet, most of them (present company excluded) don't know much more about hair care than the average person. They're experts on cut and color, but for hair care they pretty much just tell you to use a salon brand regimen. I wouldn't worry about her.

June 17th, 2010, 09:38 AM
I would find a new stylist! it's one thing to recommend something in a nice way but it sounds like she went overboard on her opinions

June 17th, 2010, 09:49 AM
Thing is i feel like she is right :( i always S&d And make sure to remove splits and such. And no my hair was thick in march my pony was 4.5 inches widout my thick bangs.I dont even wana measure now.I wil try to take pics wen i get home..

Purdy Bear
June 17th, 2010, 09:52 AM
I wouldnt take what others say to heart. Some people just have to have their opinion aired, no matter how good or bad, or accurate it is.

Many years ago when I had a full head of hair, I was using essential and carrier oils once a week, had a regular trim; one complete stranger took it on herself to daily give me instructions what I should do with my hair. This peson didnt believe I had naturally curly/spirally hair, and that I should get my perm redone. Eventually my Alopecia got worse and my hair began to fall out, this was the only thing that shut her up.

Now Im pretty laid back, if you know your doing your best by your hair then that should be good enough.

June 17th, 2010, 10:14 AM
By straighten do you mean with a flat iron, or getting a chemical relaxer? If it was chemical, that could be your problem right there, those things are AWFUL for your hair, not that flat irons are much better. I hope you can figure out what is causing damage to your hair, I know it sucks trying to grow out damage.

June 17th, 2010, 10:57 AM
I apologize that I'm not going to answer your question but you know what, I really think your stylist is not good for you. The things your stylist told you may be true, but if you are accurately portraying the way s/he said it to you, I really feel like it was not constructive at all. I have a very good friend who started getting bald spots from stress. The bald spots were 100% caused by stress (no biological reason for it). She cured her condition by simply de-stressing.

If you are having physical issues as described (not accidental injuries) chances are there are some emotional aspects to what is happening (as there always is with sickness and even injury). I am not saying there are no physical reasons for what is happening to you, but my point is, healing is better manifested from encouragement not negative talk. I'd stay away from him/her.

June 17th, 2010, 11:01 AM
If it looks like that you probably need more protein. If your hair feels "thin", and is breaking off, feels very weak and looks uneven that is most likely the issue. That is what is happening to mine right now, I bought Aphogee 2-step and am hoping that fixes the issue.

June 17th, 2010, 11:04 AM
I would like to point out that one knows your hair better than you. She should not have said those things in such a rude way.

I would also look for a stylist who would rather help you along in your journey than treat you like that. :blossom:

June 17th, 2010, 11:07 AM
If your hair is thinning, definitely see a doctor, because it can be a sign of medical problems. Measure first though, with freshly washed, dry, hair. However, it's possible her comb just took out a lot of hair, because that can happen!

June 17th, 2010, 11:16 AM
Were the hairs in her comb "shed" or "broken"?

Was she treating your hair gently?

I know that until I started CO-washing and stopped brushing the tangles out of my hair (which I used to do before every shower, to make it easier to wash/condition, never realizing that every time I "busted through" a tangle, I was actually ripping off the end of the hairs!), I never got any length. I actually thought I was at my terminal limit around BSL! My hair is now at waist length and then some.

I'm also curious about what you mean by straightening your hair: chemical, iron, blow-fry???

June 17th, 2010, 11:23 AM
It might also be worth asking yourself whether you like the condition of your stylist's hair. Some do have gorgeous hair, but I'd hesitate to listen to hair advice (or criticism) from someone whose own hair has been bleached, razored, and dyed within an inch of its life.

June 17th, 2010, 11:23 AM
Okay, calm down.


We all get this feeling sometimes when we grow out damage. Believe me, more than a year later, I'm still growing out my damage and it's much shorter than what I started with AND it seems like it's not growing. I tell myself, "It's only been one year, which translates into 6 to 7 inches." If you measure the length of your skull, it could be a year before all of your new hair even makes it to your ponytail, let alone your braid and far from your ends. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just focus on what you CAN do and have patience about the rest. You say you've only been taking care of your hair for four months. It will probably be at least another couple of months before you really start to see a difference just around your face because the new growth will be long enough to really notice. Expect at least a year and a half to two years before it starts to noticeably thicken your braid or at least improve the condition of it. Even if your hair grows really fast and you never cut it, it will be at least three years for a person of average height to grow waist length hair out so you can be at your current length with no damage. Until then, your hair will break off at the ends giving you the feeling that it's not growing if their is a lot of damage (like mine). Now is a good time to start measuring growth from your roots instead of from the ends so that you can see that it is really growing. Some LHCers do that.

As for shedding, there can be a lot of reasons why it's happening. I was on a quest to thicken up my circumference a good half inch. I achieved this by finding the things that make me shed and stopping them. Everyone responds to different things, but I found that shampoo, especially SLS shampoo, makes me shed, as do silicone products. Hot water makes me shed. Excessive handling makes me shed. I CO now most of the time and scalp only shampoo when it needs it with a gentle shampoo. No more silicone products for me, period. I use an oily conditioner because it is the only thing that works for both my "good" hair and my old damaged hair. I also use a horn comb and a wooden paddle brush because my damaged hair could not handle any extra friction without leaving little pieces of itself all over my floor and bathroom sink. You should look into the usual culprits for shedding and see if you can't find a big one and eliminate it from your life. It sounds like you're doing a lot of S&D and that's great.

As for your stylist, she should know better than to drill into you that much about how horrible your hair is. It's unprofessional. I'm not a stylist but I've done that kind of thing before in my profession and as I acquired more experience, I realized how bad it is too be that way. She may not even realize how awful it sounds. Actually, a lot of that shed hair in her comb could be a direct result of her combing it. I shed more when someone else combs my hair because they can't feel when it pulls. Anyway, don't take it to heart. You're doing your best and it just hasn't been long enough yet for you to have reached your goal yet. You're not allowed to judge your work until you've finished your task. I just passed my year mark on LHC last month and it flew by. Let's be optomistic and call that 7 inches :D Anyway, happy growing! Just do what you CAN do and then enjoy the ride...

June 17th, 2010, 11:28 AM
Your stylist has no tact. There are times I have to discussed issues with client's hair, but I am kind and compassionate about it and always point out the positive as well. It didn't help for her to hound you about it over and over, I would have told her to shove it, even if what she was saying was true.

June 17th, 2010, 11:42 AM
Hi Cleopatra,
I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm in the same boat. I have severly damaged hair and am very depressed about it. Thanks for posting as it makes me feel I am not alone. It's hard to think that it will take so long to grow out the damage, but I guess we need to be encouraged by the great advice and care we are receiving from LHC. Please write to me, I would love to hear from you and hear about how you are moving forward with this. I'll post on your page also. Take care my friend. x

June 17th, 2010, 11:52 AM
If she had any good advice for you - like seeing a doctor about the shedding - take it. As many hair issues as you describe, you should not be getting it straightened.

June 17th, 2010, 12:36 PM
I agree with others who have said that you need to find a new stylist. Going to see a stylist is meant to be nice - meant to make you feel more confident and happy, not to batter every last scrap of confidence out of you. If she felt that you had damage she could tactfully have told you what she thought might be causing it and then moved on. Comments like 'you should start caring for your hair' are just kind of rude and disrespectful. I really feel that you deserve better for your money.

June 17th, 2010, 01:29 PM
Also remember "you should start caring for your hair" = you should come into the salon more often and you should buy products from me $$

June 17th, 2010, 01:49 PM
I'm not sure if it even means that your hair is in a bad condition. Maybe some of the products she used on you were not right for your hair or she was treating you too roughly. Before I located a salon where they actually have good stylists I found that I didn't break or shed any strands for days (or even weeks) after visiting a salon because the stylists had already carelessly ripped out every single hair that wasn't in excellent condition. Also, if your hair is long and you rip it out it seems like a lot more than than the one strand it really is. So she may have been wrong about that too.

If you however notice an abnormal lot of shed hair without her you might have to go to a dermatologist.

June 17th, 2010, 02:03 PM
thank you so much everyone!! you are so so supportive,i really think she was rude to be honest :( and after she said all that i asked her several times if she has any suggestions to help,she was like "ummm nope".
I will admit i wasnt the best in taking care of my hair in the past 2 weeks because i had college exams which were extremly stressful,but my shedding has been going on for a good month i think =/ but i dont do any thing bad to my hair,i usually cowash twice aweek with occasional use of shampoo,i deep condition,i seal damp hair with hemp oil and do my best to moisturise everyday and give my hair occasional protein.I have been taking biotin and b complex and fish oil consistent again for a little over 2 weeks.
she was very very rough with my hair :( and yeah her comb..she detangled my hair with a rat tail comb (is this how its called?) she blowdried my hair first using the round brush then flat iron with like 5 passes on each section...
it was my first time with her and probably the last.when i went home i showed my hair to my mom and she said it got longer but the ends were very thin,but generaly she said it didnt look that horrible.
I also remembered someone said hair loss can be caused from eating alot of red meat? is this true? and ehm does chicken count? (sorry stupid question)
i had severe shedding back in december and i went to a doctor which gave me some stuff,but then i got into hair care and my hair improved in a tremendous way,and i could feel my hair getting thicker and thicker i even got to a point when all i saw was 5 shed hairs per day.
so this is all devastating to me because i was hoping i would see some progress in the summer

June 17th, 2010, 02:07 PM
oh btw i havent trimmed anything yet,should i?to be honest im just scared to trim now and end up with the same problem again.the longest layer of my hair is now touching very tip of ehm my back part (sorry i dont know what word i should use).but i have layers,lots of them.

June 17th, 2010, 02:20 PM
Holy cow, it sounds like she did a number to your hair and then told you that it was your fault. Stupid woman.

Keep taking care of yourself and your hair the way you do. It sounds like you're doing good things already :) Wait a couple of weeks and see how you feel about your ends then. If you still want to trim, then go for it. Don't let this stylist dictate your feelings about yourself.


June 17th, 2010, 02:30 PM
dont be discouraged.. when i joined my hair was breaking off right at the shoulders from me bleaching my hair all the time.. it just takes time to grow out the damged bits.. once the damge has been chopped off (little by little through tiny trims) your hair will be great

June 17th, 2010, 03:36 PM
It might also be worth asking yourself whether you like the condition of your stylist's hair. Some do have gorgeous hair, but I'd hesitate to listen to hair advice (or criticism) from someone whose own hair has been bleached, razored, and dyed within an inch of its life.

I totally agree! The last time a stylist told me how thin, drab and damaged my hair was, many years ago, she talked me into chopping, bleaching and highlighting it, which really destroyed it. Some stylists prefer everyone to have short, bleached and dyed hair, because it brings back the customers every three weeks for an expensive coloring. Just because your hair doesn't look like this, doesn't mean there is something wrong with it. I wouldn't attribute any validity to the stylists advice. Sorry you had this experience!

June 17th, 2010, 04:03 PM
yeah you're right,so far i never seen any stylist with "healthy" hair,the girl today had a naturaly wavy BSL hair that is dyed and highlighted.actually i remember when i first saw her 2 months ago she was at waist,so no wonder...
and the manager had this cut thats shorter than a pixie (i dont know its name sorry..)

June 17th, 2010, 05:01 PM
All the things she did to your hair were very damaging, jeeze. The thing to remember with supplements is that only the new growth sees the benefit from this. So you won't see results for a long time, be patient. :) As for other gentle care methods, all they do is preserve the hair you already have grown, hopefully keeping further damage to a minimum. No matter how gently you care for your hair, it will accumulate some damage over time. The trick is to keep that damage as minimal as possible so that as it grows, the ends still look and feel healthy.

I wouldn't go back to that particular hairdresser, as she had nothing to offer you aside from cutting your hair. Try to find someone with longer hair that looks healthy, and see if you get better treatment. In the meantime, just continue to care for your hair in a gentle fashion and let nature do its thing. In time, over the next year and beyond, you will gradually be able to see the difference your changes have made in the condition of your hair.

I started a year ago with hair that was damaged from bleaching and highlighting on top of the bleaching! Also I straightened my hair a lot with a flat iron, or used hot rollers/curling irons which further damaged my hair. Its condition has improved quite a bit from that time but the ends are still damaged with a lot of taper particularly in the last 9 inches of length. I cut my hair regularly, trimming off half of my growth rate, and this lets me slowly grow out more length while gradually removing the old damage. In another year all that damage will be gone with any luck, or close to it.

Hair growth sure isn't something that can be hurried. It happens slowly in its own time, but if you are patient and keep up with all the good things while stopping the bad, your hair will show the results eventually. And you will be really glad for it. :)

June 17th, 2010, 05:12 PM
One more thing, red meat shouldn't cause shedding. After all it is full of iron and protein which is helpful for your hair. What CAN cause shedding is stress and it sounds like you were under some stress from your studies recently. You might want to try some MSM, as it can help prevent shedding from what I understand.

June 17th, 2010, 07:38 PM
She used a rat tail comb ?!?!?!?!?!?! *CRINGE*
I would have stopped her, that is rediculous ! Every stylist in my salon has plenty of big wide toothed detangling combs for long hair. You have to take control of your hair appointment, it's your hair. You can say no.

June 17th, 2010, 08:23 PM
Eating meat, red included isn't going to harm your hair. If anything it will help. So I wouldn't listen to the person who told you that. Getting plenty of protein (either from legumes or meat) is important for your hair and bodies health. Remember that hair is made of keratin (protein).

I am sorry your stylist was being so dumb, of course she had tons of hair in her comb after yanking it through your hair. She should have used a wide toothed comb.

Also measure your circumference, stop worrying about how much hair you've lost and actually measure. I think you will be surprised that your hair is probably still close to it's original circumference. Usually shedding for one month will not make you lose a ton of your thickness unless it's alopecia or another health problem.

June 19th, 2010, 03:23 PM
I agree with the previous posters that most of the damage to your hair was caused by her. People normally go through shedding cycles and it is caused by hormones. One month of shed is really not that big of a deal. It seems to me that you were already self conscious about your hair prior to her comments. It is a regular tactic of low end stylists to target people with issues about their hair because it equals $$$$$. (That and because bullying others makes them feel better about themselves.). Obviously, she has no clue what she's talking about because she wasn't even knowledgeable enough to provide you with some helpful guidance.

June 19th, 2010, 03:52 PM
Yep, it sounds like the massive shed at the salon was her fault, and you may have gotten a bad haircut that makes it look thinner.

Measure your circumference, and if it's more than an inch less, see a doctor. Otherwise, start trimming your own hair! There's the Feye's self trim method, and if you're gentle with your hair while it's short, there should be no problem.

Eating meat didn't affect my hair much when I used to eat it, but I feel healthier not eating it. Chicken isn't red meat, and is one of the "heathiest" meats if you believe saturated fat and cholesterol are bad.(I would say the biggest danger are the preservatives in processed meat, and cholesterol, but some studies are starting to say otherwise with saturated fat.) Meat has protein and fat, both of which are important for hair growth. However, if you don't want to eat much meat, it's easy to have healthy hair still!