Convince me not to cut!!!

[Paniscus]

OK, I've seen these threads so often, NEVER thought I'd be posting one myself!

I'm not sure if it's due to the stress in my life, or the massive amount of tangles I get even when I try to treat my hair nice. The texture is all wrong these days. And I am finding myself wearing my hair in a very limited amount of styles:

Chinese bun (because very few other buns work with me)
ponytail
one long braid

Dont' get me wrong, I love long hair and most of the people I know are telling me NOT to cut. HOwever, the infamous BOB hairstyle is calling to me! It was a BOB haircut that went so very wrong that led me to this site in the first place, so the idea that I am now thinking about this again just blows my mind. What have I been smoking, or who spiked my soda?

My hair is at waist and has taken me what, 4 years to get here... Sigh. But I think how easy short hairstyles are, and for me, they always were. I know some of you disagree with this, and that is cool, but for me, the shorter styles are easier to care for. No tangles. Less time drying, no need for blowdryer if I keep running my fingers through it to help fluff it out. Less product (poo and dish). Yes, there is more money spent in keeping it short, but in the long run, the pros outweigh that. ANd yeah, I'd be called a helmet head.. http://i605.photobucket.com/albums/tt133/Madkitty_2009/helmet_head.jpg

I miss jumping in teh shower, taking two seconds to wash and condish my hair and then not have several pounds of heavy hair to dry and detangle thereafter.

Why can't I have two heads? One for a short BOB, one for long hair.

Thoughts? Ideas? Encouragement not to cut, to cut? What say you fellow hair pirates? :pirate:

[jane53]

DON'T CUT!!!!


(unless you really want to.)

[pinkbunny]

Maybe you should cruise the internet for hairstyle tutorials. You may find more styles you love that are easy to do, and the bob-allure will fade. Or not. It wouldn't hurt to try, and it will give you more time to think about it. Once all your options are played out, if you still feel as strongly, then cut it. It's your hair and it should make YOU happy. Just don't do anything drastic til you explore all possibilities, because once it's cut you'd have to start all over again if you realize you really wanted long hair...

[x0h_bother]

It's the summer and it sounds like you are dissatisfied with your texture and styling at this length. I would suggest chopping off a little, maybe 1-2 inches and seeing if the texture gets better or if you dont feel as distressed about it. After all, it has taken you a long time to get here, so during that time after the bob before you reached waist you had to have some sense of satisfaction with the length. It's easier to take away more than to add, so be patient and don't take drastic measures. It has been a long time since you have had a bob, so you probably forget the woes that can come with it. <3

[jane53]

I was going to cut my hip-length hair when I came to LHC. I found several other styles I could use and am off the cutting bandwagon.

[Tiina]

Maybe you should cut to midway first, before trying the bob? Afterall, you can cut off more in seconds than you can grow in years.

[SurprisingWoman]

looking at your photo album I see more styles than you listed.

You need to do what will make you happy though.

[jane53]

Having seen your album, I'd say DON'T CUT!!! Unless you really have a taste for short hair.

[Lunami]

I think your hair is beautiful and it looks great on you but i can understand your thoughts. I'd probably try cutting a few inches at first to see how that feels. Maybe to BSL? :)

[restourceful]

Okay, I hope this is not going to come across wrong and please forgive me if it does. I looked at your photos of both long and short hair. To me, and this is just my opinion, you look much younger with longer hair. If you love short hair then you should go for it. But if you are wavering, I second the idea of a compromise by maybe only doing a trim of a couple of inches or even half your length before you do a big chop. Maybe you just really need a good trim to take care of the tangling. Just my :twocents:

[alwayssmiling]

From someone who is trying to grow from a bob, please don't cut! I would love to have really long hair. I don't think my short bob was easier at all, it took more styling because it would kink out or look out of shape easily (which meant I was heat styling more).

Maybe you are ready for a new style though, but that doesn't mean you have to have a short bob. Why not have long layers or bangs to refresh your style.

[Loreley]

Don't cut it! Maybe you should try more buns and styles to make your hair more interesting.

[SpinDance]

I want to say "Don't Cut!", but that's my personal preference, and it's your hair! :) Do what will make you happy.

If the detangling is a chore, maybe there are other techniques that you can use to help with that? I don't find detangling to be any sort of issue, even though I've got hair that wants to fizz. Using the right mix of washing/conditioning and leave-ins for me means my hair really doesn't tangle much at all. I use my fingers or a 3 prong fork to 'comb' it as needed. Finger comb carefully with conditioner on it in the shower to make sure there aren't any tangles when I wash it, briefly use the fork after I get out of the shower to help distribute the 2 drops of oil I put on and to help it go the right way (not fall straight into my face, or be slicked back from the shower).

The only 'right' way is the one that works for you!

[Chamomile betty]

I always think of how easy it is to have long hair. On a bad day I can just bun it. With shorter hair I felt I always had to 'fix' it.
I do like bobs though, I just couldn't wear one myself.

[Pixna]

If the texture is bothering you, try different shampoos and conditioners. My texture can change dramatically depending on what I use. When I use products that make my hair tangly, I blame it on my hair, but it's really the products.

Your hair is truly lovely, and your updos are stunning. Having had a pixie in 2007 and all the awkward stages in between (including the bob stage), I can tell you that it is PAINFUL growing out. And, the older you are, the harder it is and the longer it seems to take. If you cut your hair now and want it long again, how old will you be by the time it gets there? And do you really want to be a middle-aged woman (when you get to that age) with the traditional bob? Or do you want to have long, flowing hair and buck convention?

It's your choice, of course. But having been there not all that long ago, and the misery being still fresh in my memory, I say DON'T DO IT!!!

[GRU]

I'm going to chime in with those who suggested a partial-chop.

Why don't you try BSL or halfway between BSL and WL first? If you decide you're happy with that, it's all good. If you wear it for a month or so and decide you still want to go shorter, that's good too.

Or maybe add in some layers to give it more movement and a different feel?

You can always take more off quickly -- it's the putting it back on that takes so much time!!! :o)

(and you're not a freak... I've been considering a cut (not as drastic as a bob, though) for some time now, too!)

[dropinthebucket]

The two heads AND the siggy pic totally put me in mind of Zaphod Beeblebrox!! (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) - too funny! you should send it to Bad Cat, the book of funny cat photos! they would love it!

[ButterCream]

I really don`t know what to say, other than I really hope you don`t cut...:tmi:

I am just thinking, think about everything you went through in order to grow it as long an beautifull as it really is now, how much pride you have taken in your hair and the caring of your hair and all the beutifull hairstyles you have made (checked out your album, soooo beautifull hair!)
Do you want to go back to you starting point?

If you want to start at scratch again, and is 100 % sure without a doubt or regrets, then do what you feel....

But do you know what I am thinking?
I don`t think you reeeeeeally want to cut it....

Because you want us to convince you not to cut...

It sounds like you are just a littlebit tired with hair and hairstyles etc right now, and need a reboost of ideas and inspiration to make your hair fun again.

And if you maybe need a trim, why not a coupple of inches so your ends feel fresh and tangle free?

Why not start there, and see if you can`t get inspired to have fun with your hair again?:)

I really hope you don`t cut, you have such beautifull hair that has shine and body.

Sometimes in life when we encounter somethings that makes us almost want to give up, it is those things that we don`t give up on, that ends up being the most important things for us, wether it is hair or other things...

At the very least give yourself time to think this through...

Good luck!:)

[ktani]

Your hair is gorgeous!
I just cut about 2 inches off my hair a few minutes ago. I did not measure. I just self trim when the mood strikes me and it has been over 4 months since the last trim. My ends are fine and there was no breakage taper. My hair was just getting annoying. If feels lighter and is easier to handle.

I think that cutting it back a bit - you decide how much - and not all the way back to possible regret - may be a good idea.

A style like a Bob requires its own upkeep to look good. Long hair is more versatile and a few inches can make all of the up-do difference.

I wear my hair down 99.9&#37; of the time. It hovers, pulled down in back, near to waist and was this time pulled down, below my waist. I am not concerned with milestones. I am concerned with how good it looks and how comfortable I am with it. I do not get tangles. I just get - "It looks like it could do with a "shape up".

[spidermom]

I'd get a trim and learn a new style. Your hair is very pretty.

If you cut it, one of these days you'll want a change, which will require growing your hair out, and although I agree that short hair is a lot easier to manage than long, the in-between lengths are not, so don't do it.

[Sarahmoon]

Shorter hair won't change the texture!

[jane53]

Trim an inch or two if you must cut. Learn a new updo here at LHC or on youtube tutorials.

Really!

Don't live with regret!

[Kathie]

I'm with the others who recommend a partial cut- mid back or so. If that doesn’t make you happy take a little more- but wait a while in between cuts :flower:

[akurah]

You may be washing your hair too frequently. I wash about once a week, and if my scalp needs more frequency, I do a scalp-wash only (by either protecting the length with a plastic bag from getting wet, OR from doing a loose braid and using diluted shampoo, and if any shampoo gets on the braid, just rinse the braid a bit). If you do the whole shebang of washing/conditioning/detangling wet hair with much more frequency than that, I can't blame you for wanting a chop.

My hair, for reference, is waist length.

[SheaLynne]

I'm going to strongly give my 2 cents that you *not* cut your hair! (In fact, looking at your album quieted the tiny voice of my own that wonders if I am going *too* long and shouldn't cut back!) Your recent pictures of your hair are just lovely and unique and special. Your bob pictures are...just another bob.

No offense intended...I just think you may not see your hair as the beauty it is and how worth the troubles it is!

Also, I found LHC at waist length because I couldn't get any updos to work at that length...and I've learned that most updos for thicker hair require longer than waist. You're just now getting to the lengths where updos would work for you...make a goal to get to hip or tailbone and in the meantime learn a ton of updos! Do an updo challenge and work on learning a new 'do every day. Even if they don't stay all day, you'll find *some* new ones that work for you.

And don't be so hard on yourself. I see alot of comments in your album about needing to 'chop' or it being frizzy. You've obviously found some techniques to make it look very beautiful, and a bob would be such a loss.

I'm done! :blossom:

[sugarpixie10988]

I find the opposite for short hair, I think it's so much harder to do styles with it than with long! It's also harder to take care of, but this is just me talking. How about trying this article? You can fake a bob and see if you really want it that short again :).

http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=41837

[SlightlySoprano]

After just cutting off probably 8 or 9 inches last month because of almost the same problem (plus major thinning and health issues) I say START SMALL

What I would do if I were you, cut 2-4 inches off first, see if you feel like it's easier to manage, if not, take off another 2-4 and continue until you feel its right. Don't just chop it all off. I wish I had done that instead of the big chop!

[Speckla]

Go for a small cut. Maybe get some bangs, or a v hemline. Take it up a few inches and try some new toys/styles. Treated yourself to a shampoo and massage! Little things might make a big difference and no regret for cutting off too much.

[Tovah]

I will tell you what my friend at work tells me "think of the summer". I have curly hair that tends to get a bit out of control in humid weather. I used to have a bob-maybe it's in my profile? It looked great during the winter, but all the blow drying and product during the summer didn't help.

When someone gave me a photo that showed the back of my head (with the bob during the summer) and I almost puked. That was last July 1st. I have not cut it since and I have not used a blow dryer since the fall. And yes, even though my hair isn't quite long yet, I am tempted to cut it occasionally and a tiny voice in my head says "think of the summer".

Today is outrageously muggy and I sit here comfortable with my hair up and looking good.
So, maybe you need to find your own code word, but you are more than welcome to borrow mine. Another strategy is to find a photo of yourself with short hair that is not very flattering and tape it up to your bathroom mirror.

BTW, I think you look better with long hair.

[IndigoAsh]

I think the long hair is way prettier IMHO. I also think that if you are so unsure that you need to ask us then you should stay away from cutting. Just my two cents.

[going gray]

Hi, Just looked at your hair photos, you have gorgeous thick lush hair. Do you really want to cut it? I especially like those updos, wow, so lovely! Maybe just taking a few inches off the length (as suggested above) will make you feel better.

Good luck with your decision....

[hoolahooper]

I think you can learn lots from the red carpet. They mostly have long voluminous hair or it in an up-do. That's when women look their absolute best. Just my thoughts.

[little_acorn]

You have stunning hair at the moment. if you feel it needs it have a trim - cut back to BSL but please don't cut it all off :flower:

[Yozhik]

Your hair is so pretty and so thick! I prefer it to your short hair, but that's just me.

I'd definitely advise the couple of inches trim instead of the chop to bob. You can always go up! I spent the course of 3 or so years getting progressively shorter hair (APL to chin-length bob), until fairly recently when I decided to grow it long instead. :)

[BlueMuse]

Well, I was thinking the same thing recently. My hair used to be nearly pixie short, and I was thinking "hey, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go back" and then I got ahold of my middle school pictures. Those banished any desire I had to have hair that short again.

You seem to indicate that you don't really like the way your hair looks in a bob (other than ease of maintenance) so I would get out all the old pictures you have of yourself with short hair and really look them over. If you can look at them and like what you see, then go ahead and cut. But if you're like me, then those pictures will be enough to convince you to buy a couple new pairs of hair sticks and go with the long hair.

[KahlanAmnell]

You could do what others have suggested and try new updos, or possibly the ones that mimic short hair. See if you like how it looks with the updos that make it look short first before you cut, since it's a big difference. Whatever you choose, I'm sure it will look nice.

[hemolymph]

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!
I got a bob and it was fun for 2 seconds but NOW I WANT LONG HAIR BACK!!!

DON'T DOOOOO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why not just get a big trim?? go to APL or BSL?? But DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR TO A BOB!!

[LaurelSpring]

For me honestly and personally bob=boring. I find them dull and uninspiring to look at and wear. I would be absolutely miserable with one and bobs actually look pretty good on me.

I think you absolutely look better with longer hair in your photos. I think the shoulder length shot looks better than the bob shot. Maybe just a trim would help.

I agree with the others in that shorter hair took alot more work for me. My hair and routine is a breeze now, especially after starting scalp washes. Short hair never lays right and takes alot of fussing with and then you cant do anything with it if it doesnt cooperate.

Give it a good amount of thought before you do it and maybe take it in stages. Trim some and if you still want more then trim some more. You cant put it back!! It would be a shame to see another.... I cut my hair short and now I am so mad at myself thread.

Was that convincing enough?? :poot:

[Beesweet]

Okay,

You have thick hair like me. You live in the South, like me. It is seriously humid where I am, and my hair has turned on me. My nicer winter texture is long gone, and my hair is literally a bush on top of my head. I am hating my hair right now. I am wondering if you are having a reaction to humidity.

Switch your hair routine. Cut off 1/2 an inch to help with tangling. Try a heavier conditioner -- I use Aubry Organics to help when it gets totally huge.

Remember how a bob will get in your mouth every time you bend forward to wash a dish, you will have to use headbands scarves and pins to keep it off your face. It itches your neck and gets all over your face when you sleep. A real pain.

I am growing out from a bob and I pretty much live in a bandanna. No fun at all.

Your hair is really really pretty. Don't cut it for a few weeks at least. Sleep on it.

Hang in there.

[goodenough]

Wow-I was in the same boat this time last year. My texture had gotten really tangly, and I cut from waist to bsl. I was still displeased with the texture, so I went to a chin length bob. My hair was still wiry, and it was still hard to manage. As I had gotten older, my texture had just changed.

I LOVE my hair shoulder-length, though. I'd like to grow to APL and stay there for a while. When I am doing something or irritated, I can at least pull it back, and it looks really nice in half ups (my favorite style anyway). I know it's not for everybody, but I love how I can go swimming and not have heavy hair. I think I'll grow it to waist again in a few years, but as an active person who swims, exercises, and is lazy when it comes to hair, APL seems about right.

I would advise not going any shorter than shoulder length at first. Chopping to a bob was WAY to much change at once for me.

[BrightEyes]

I cut my hair into an inverted bob about a month ago because I thought I needed a change. It was definitely a change, and I will admit that it does have its fun moments.... but I am very disappointed in myself for cutting. I've dreamed of long hair for so long. And although I was only just past shoulder length, I was actually almost to a length I hadn't been in over 10 years. But in a matter of minutes I cut off over a year's worth of growth....... and the next day I had a good long cry and promised myself that I am growing it long!:rolleyes: But now I've set myself back at least a year, probably more than that with all my new layers I have to grow out now.

I totally understand the need for change. But please don't cut unless you are absolutely sure this is what you want. Because in a matter of minutes years of hard-worked-for inches of beautiful hair can be gone.....just like that! I look at pictures of my hair before my cut and want to cry every time.

Perhaps you can learn some fun new updos? Or try some new oils or DT's? Your hair is absolutely beautiful and unique. Please, please, please enforce the two month rule (that's what we call it around here, right?:D) before cutting.

[hemolymph]

Brighteyes~ Your post could of been mine, but my inverted bob was even shorter! I, too, look at pics I took at Christmas just before the big chop and it makes me teary! It's been 6 months and I think that's a whole 3+ inches I could of added to my hair had I not chopped it!!

Weep Weep... I like the 2 month rule!

[frodolaughs]

Paniscus, I looked at your album and in my opinion there is no comparison between your hair in a bob and your hair long. I don't think everyone looks better with long hair, and I do believe that you should choose whatever you want with regards to your hair, but your hair long--in whatever style, even in the photos where you lament that it's frizzy and messy--is gorgeous. Cut in a bob it's just a bob, and doesn't seem so special. I also think the long hair is more flattering to your face.

I wouldn't ordinarily be so blunt, but you did ask to be convinced not to cut, and that's my honest opinion. With your thick hair I think you'll find updos easier at longer lengths, so that's another point in it's favor. Remember that even though you say you have only 3 styles with your hair long, when it's in a bob you've only really got one.

[Paniscus]

OK guys... thank you so much for all of this input!!! I stayed away from this thread to give myself a few days to mull it over before reading all the comments. I know how it usually runs here :-)

So it seems some of you pointed out the oh-so-obvious (that I wasn't thinking about): cutting shorter will not change my texture per se. So I *might* end up with a short bob and bad texture! And yes, for those living in the South, the humidity is NOT helping one bit!

I need a trim. I'm gathering that the scrappy ends of my hair may be the culprit for these tangles?

I have been at LHC for some time and tried many routines here. I think it's time I try a few more. I also agree that learning new styles is paramount. The only trouble is, I really am updo inept. I have been trying a french twist and can not get the bugger to stay put!

So, looks like I will wait for two months. In the interim, will get a few inches whacked off and try to learn some new styles.. and most importantly, buy some new hair accessories, and learn how to use them! I have mastered (sort of) the hair sticks, and I have a few little hairforks, but I think it's time to invest in some nice, large wooden hairforks.

Ficcare is OK, but not doing the jobs these days and sometimes gets all tangled up in my hair.

Thanks again for all the advice. I knew you guys would pull through for me!! Yay!! It's amazing how words of advice from a slew of strangers can really help you see things from a different angle. Now I'm off to pull out all those old photos of the BAD bob I had :-)

[Oskimosa]

Glad you're going to take some time to think about it. I didn't see anyone suggest a wig, so I wanted to throw that in there. That way you really could have your two heads of hair :)

I'd say if you want to cut, do it; not all of us are madly in love with long hair for life. However, it sounds like it's more of a fleeting impulse and that you'd regret it. So, wig. :) HTH

[Hockeymomof3]

Speaking from experience and my hair wasn't as long as yours (I wish!!), I really regret cutting my hair. My hair was about bsl and I have it sort of like a pixie right now. All I can think about is how I want to grow it back out! I kept thinking it would be easier short too, but really what was easier was throwing it into a bun or something like that -- now I have to style it every day, I have pieces here and there, ugh, what a mess! I wouldn't do it or at least do it in phases. :)

[Capybara]

I think you look lovely with longer hair, and, looking at our albums, long hair is very flattering on you!

I'm glad you made the decision to wait before cutting off a huge amount :)

[DarkChocolate]

Your hair is so beautiful and thick:) Please don't cut it. I think long hair suits you too:)

[kmoc123]

I would say no no no...but if you feel you must, do just a little at a time. I am afraid that if you chop it all off, you will be so sad and disappointed. This is probably just a phase you are going through...