Things For Your F.A.H.K.

[yellowchariot]

This is a spin off thread from my "Hair Disaster . . . Almost" thread found here: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=49732

This is somewhat of a parody/serious and informative list of items to use in a First Aid Hair Kit! I've listed items below that I mentioned in the previous thread. What else would you add to the list of things you would put in your very own F.A.H.K.?

Peanut Butter (for bubble gum)
ICE (also for bubble gum)
Goo Gone (as trolleypup pointed out, for tree sap)
Band-Aids (there may be blood!)
Wire Cutters/Pliers (cut that comb out!)
Screw Driver (phillips and flat head)
Rat Tail Comb
2 Nerve Pills
1 Anti-Depressant
3+ Hours of Time
Patience
Hope & Faith (shake and bake mix)
Hacksaw (for roll brushes)
Gorilla Glue (to glue chunks of hair back in, when finished)
Tri-fold Mirror
Inflatable Hairstylist

OMG, I'm onto something here, I could make money off of this kit! I could sell it in 3 stages.

Stage 1 F.A.H.K - includes the first 5 on the list
Stage 2 F.A.H.K - includes the first 10 on the list
Stage 3 F.A.H.K - includes all 16! LOL

[Silver & Gold]

I'll take one stage 3 kit.

Does it come with instructions? I'm almost afraid to ask what the screw drivers are for.

[halo_tightens]

Sounds great, but... um... I'm going to need more than TWO lousy nerve pills! Make it two bottles and we have a deal. :D

[emmabovary]

Love the inflatable hair stylist! :lol:

[JenniferNoel]

Does it come with instructions? I'm almost afraid to ask what the screw drivers are for.

Um, yeah. :cheese:
I'll take two stage 3 kits, one for me, and one for my cat.

This thread makes me smile.

[DragonLady]

I need two three-stage kits, extra pills, and extra shake-n-bake mix. Priority please Oh, and better gift wrap 'em.... :)

Great thread. :)

[halo_tightens]

By the way, I know what the screwdrivers are for!! :D

No, seriously, I do. But I'll let you go search it out in the other thread. :cheese:

[Silver & Gold]

By the way, I know what the screwdrivers are for!! :D

No, seriously, I do. But I'll let you go search it out in the other thread. :cheese:

You could tell me but you'll let me search? That's cold, halo, really and truly cold.

*privately grins at halo's mad taunting skills before running off to search for the thread*

[halo_tightens]

Muah hah hah.... :evil:

Let me just say that one day, some years ago, I found a screwdriver to be quite handy in rescuing my own hair from disaster. :D

[rach]

how about submersion in water :razz: loosen up the disaster if in super tangles.

[Silver & Gold]

Muah hah hah.... :evil:

Let me just say that one day, some years ago, I found a screwdriver to be quite handy in rescuing my own hair from disaster. :D

AHA! But the last laugh is mine, thanks to my mad research skills (read search function) I was able to locate and have the pure joy of reading that hilarious thread.

Thanks for mentioning it.

[sibiryachka]

Apparently we also need pliers to crack the glue when we want to remove extensions. In a kit like that, you want your tools to be multi-purpose!

And what is up with the household tools theme today?! :P

[Lamb]

You forgot the large glass of brandy. ;)

[*Aoife*]

What? No coney conditioner?

And I second the brandy!

[serious]

Great!
I'll take one stage 3 kit, but could you provide detailed instructions for Patience? :o

[yellowchariot]

I'll take one stage 3 kit.

Does it come with instructions? I'm almost afraid to ask what the screw drivers are for.

^ That'll be $300, if you need instructions then you don't need long hair! LOL j/k The instructions will vary based upon your disaster!


Sounds great, but... um... I'm going to need more than TWO lousy nerve pills! Make it two bottles and we have a deal. :D

Done! I'll even up the mg's! haha


Love the inflatable hair stylist! :lol:

Yeah a real live human wouldn't survive being crammed in that box, or else that would work!


Um, yeah. :cheese:
I'll take two stage 3 kits, one for me, and one for my cat.

This thread makes me smile.

^ That will be $600


I need two three-stage kits, extra pills, and extra shake-n-bake mix. Priority please Oh, and better gift wrap 'em.... :)

Great thread. :)

That will be $900 for the 3 kits, an extra $100 per gift wrap, and another $900 for priority shipping!

Grand total of $2,100 (and that's a good deal too!!!)


By the way, I know what the screwdrivers are for!! :D

No, seriously, I do. But I'll let you go search it out in the other thread. :cheese:

What are the screwdrivers for? Now I'm gonna have to go do some searching!

I would use them to pry/unscrew the hair off of whatever it is stuck to, and besides you will ALWAYS need one!




how about submersion in water :razz: loosen up the disaster if in super tangles.

rach, I'll have to add in a mini pool kit as well.


Apparently we also need pliers to crack the glue when we want to remove extensions. In a kit like that, you want your tools to be multi-purpose!

And what is up with the household tools theme today?! :P

sibiryachka, pliers are awesome everybody needs a good pair! Are you kidding? WE men, yup you heard me, developed tools to work on ANYTHING! Even hair.


You forgot the large glass of brandy. ;)

I don't drink, but that can be an extra option, Lamb. Better through in Brandy, 1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, and 1 Beer. (hehe I'm reminded of that George Thorogood song)


What? No coney conditioner?

And I second the brandy!

Alright Aoife, 2 Brandy's then! Nope, no conditioner, at this point you'll need Castrol GTX 20w-50 motor oil.

[BunnyBee]

Eh, this list needs a pair of sharp scissors for Damage Limitation and also a paper bag to hyperventilate into... -_-

I just today realised my Matrix Biolage whatever it's called conditioner might be my Holy Grail :pray: So i'd chuck that in too.

[Quixii]

Hmm, I think a couple bottles of conditioner need to be added to that list.

[deviantkitten]

And some oil!

And glitter and a granola bar. No kit emergency should be without glitter because....well....just because!
And if you have a hair emergency that takes 3 hours, you are gonna need some snacks!!! Especially if you partake in the alcoholic version of this kit LOL

[GRU]

Just noticed that you're missing WD-40 from the list... maybe add that as an option?

[sibiryachka]

If we're including WD40, we need duct tape too. For... umm... well, you just never know.

[Olde Soul]

I SO could have used all those things when I spent an hour and a half getting a roll brush out of my mom's hair. Excellent thread!

[Yozhik]

If we're including WD40, we need duct tape too. For... umm... well, you just never know.

AWESOME! :) I second this recommendation -- duct tape is good for anything.

Maybe to stop yourself from screaming out your frustration? Or for tying up the people who are coming at you with scissors? ;)

[GRU]

If we're including WD40, we need duct tape too. For... umm... well, you just never know.

Good point.... no toolbox is complete without The Handyman's Secret Weapon!

[IcarusBride]

Don't forget the 16 bottles of non-cone shampoo!

[little_acorn]

Missing a hat - for when NOTHING works :scared:


oh and chocolate :chocolate: - it makes everything better!

[HintOfMint]

Is the acronym supposed to sound like a certain expletive I am fond of saying when I need said first aid hair kit?

[Newniepg]

Fantastic thread! I quite like the idea of a first aid kit for hair. Thanks for making me smirk. I do however NEED to know what the screw drivers are for!

[sibiryachka]

Is the acronym supposed to sound like a certain expletive I am fond of saying when I need said first aid hair kit?

:rollin:

HFAK (hair first aid kit) is not so easy to pronounce!

[yellowchariot]

YES, how could I forget to add in duck tape, and WD-40, those parts are crucial!

You pronounce it like this: "FAK".
The "H" is silent, unless you have a Southern accent, such as myself. Then you can really add emphasis on the "H", like this: "Where's mah FAH'K at?! Ah've got mah harr wrapped around the crankshaft of this here V8 motor."

[fair isle]

I think I will need smelling salts in my kit (for after looking in the tri-fold) :grin:

[bugeyedmonster2]

AWESOME! :) I second this recommendation -- duct tape is good for anything.

Maybe to stop yourself from screaming out your frustration? Or for tying up the people who are coming at you with scissors? ;)

Or for slapping on the mouths of those folks who say "when are you going to cut it?" Or "Long hair is gross."

[bugeyedmonster2]

Good point.... no toolbox is complete without The Handyman's Secret Weapon!

Red Green swears by duct tape.

[bugeyedmonster2]

Is the acronym supposed to sound like a certain expletive I am fond of saying when I need said first aid hair kit?

:spitting: :rollin:

[Islandgrrl]

What about the FAHK Hotline number? 1-800-HAIR-AID!

[serious]

oh and chocolate :chocolate: - it makes everything better!

Yay for chocolate!

[BunnyBee]

Is the acronym supposed to sound like a certain expletive I am fond of saying when I need said first aid hair kit?

Where is ma fahkin' F.A.H.K??!! :justy:

[Calaelen]

He's certainly taking his genius and using it..lol.

Anyone else think this may just be a money making scheme??

I'll take a kit if you'll come along with it to cut out the offending object of disaster...;) I just don't think I could stomach taking wire cutters to anything that close to my hair.

P.S. You have no clue just how much I needed to laugh today. Thanks for the post. This was hilarious.

[MissCoco]

............

[GRU]

Red Green swears by duct tape.

Exactly what I was getting at! LOL My 10yo DS is on quite the Red Green kick lately... I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess! :p

[EtherealOde]

Hilarious, lol.

I'll take one stage 3 kit with the optional duct tape. Is there an emergency martini supply in there as well?

[yellowchariot]

Is the acronym supposed to sound like a certain expletive I am fond of saying when I need said first aid hair kit?


:rollin:

HFAK (hair first aid kit) is not so easy to pronounce!



Where is ma fahkin' F.A.H.K??!! :justy:

^ I swear you women are such perv's! I had never thought of that particular word, until I re-read HintOfMint's post! Shame on you all :o LOL.

We could also call it K.A.H.F. : Kit Aid Hair First (Hey that actually sounds very important and priority #1, too!) :D

"Where's m'ah FAHK'n KAHF?!"
LOL sorry I just had to say that!


What about the FAHK Hotline number? 1-800-HAIR-AID!

^ Yeah probably need to at in a GSM 4G wireless mobile phone! :p

[TrudieCat]

What about the FAHK Hotline number? 1-800-HAIR-AID!

Yes!!

But please let there be a real live person on the other end of that line....

[Yozhik]

Yes!!

But please let there be a real live person on the other end of that line....

I second this! Not like one of those menus:

Press 1: if your hair is on fire
Press 2: if you have it caught in a blowdryer
Press 3: if you let it near young children
Press 4: for more options
Press 5: to hear this menu again

:justy:

[yellowchariot]

Yes!!

But please let there be a real live person on the other end of that line....


I second this! Not like one of those menus:

Press 1: if your hair is on fire
Press 2: if you have it caught in a blowdryer
Press 3: if you let it near young children
Press 4: for more options
Press 5: to hear this menu again

:justy:

It will most likely be an automated recording that says: "What did you say? I did not understand your answer. . . Please say YES or NO." ;)

[SHELIAANN1969]

:rollin: YC, you are hilarious and creative, you are a genius! Can we have a Stage 3 *Super-Size* with extra nerve pills and anti depressants for major disasters? lol

[HintOfMint]

And right before they put you on hold they say, "and remember, it's just hair, it grows." Just to get you extra cantankerous as soon as you reach their busy representative.

[Pixna]

I'm in!! Two kits please -- with WD-40 and duct tape, extra nerve pills, and access to the FAHK hotline number with a real live person (with no heavy accent) at the other end who has actual helpful advice and will send an additional kit at no additional charge, just because he/she likes me.

Oh, and YC, you are FAN-FAHKn-tastic!!! :laugh:

[ravensinger13]

YES, how could I forget to add in duck tape, and WD-40, those parts are crucial!

You pronounce it like this: "FAK".
The "H" is silent, unless you have a Southern accent, such as myself. Then you can really add emphasis on the "H", like this: "Where's mah FAH'K at?! Ah've got mah harr wrapped around the crankshaft of this here V8 motor."

ROTFL, that's great! Well, not the whole hair around the crankshaft part, but it would be funny later. I don't think I'll be participating in any auto repairs any time soon thanks to that visual.
Also added should be a day at the spa for recovery from said hair disaster.

[Pallas]

If there's be such a thing as a FAHK hotline (if you do pronounce the acromyn as, well, FAHK, that's goingt to sound SO wrong :lol: ) I'd so try to get a job there 8D I'm good with tangly jobs like that XD

[GRU]

If there's be such a thing as a FAHK hotline (if you do pronounce the acromyn as, well, FAHK, that's goingt to sound SO wrong :lol: ) I'd so try to get a job there 8D I'm good with tangly jobs like that XD

This could be like the Butterball Hotline they have available to help you with your turkey-cooking emergencies on Thanksgiving and Christmas! :D