newbie...in need of some serious hair help! :(

[dainaleeo2]

Hey there...just before i even start, i'm sorry if this is a redundant topic/thread/post. I just joined, but I've lurked around for some time. I've seen topics that pertained to me but at the same time I have a number of issues that I kind of...need some expert help with :(

Anyway...onto the issues.
I think my hair is a bit of a mix of 1c ish? When i was little it was bone straight, 1a for sure, but now it's so over processed/bleached/colored/straightened/etc, that when it air dries, it is a poofy, frizzy, just all around mess. There are small waves [ish] in some areas, but in others it's straight but just poofy, if that makes sense. My hair is pretty fine as it is, so how it gets so poofy when I have so little hair haha.
Natrually I'm a dirty blonde, but over the years...phew. My hair has been everything from black to platinum, but during last summer was the bleach job from hell that killed it all. I chopped off half my hair, & now it's a light brown in hopes that I can grow out the natural color.

I use olive oil & coconut oil as a pre-treat for my hair, & have discovered, thanks to this board, about CO washing, so i do that. I also deep condition once a week. I also just used the Nexxus Emergencee treatment [which i'm still not sure if it's protein or not...], but it just seems as if NOTHING is working! :(
I know growing it out & cutting off the dead ends is what will help. I do that, but since my hair is so short/layered, the flyaways that look just a mess make me want to cry every day.

Are there any tips you can suggest for me? I need help, seriously. It's weird that my hair is shiny, & looks healthy, but the little white flyaway things & the ends & the overall feel betrays that.
I know straightening isn't good either...& I'd be willing to give that up but my natural texture = terrible! If i could have some suggestions on 'strunching' or some sort of waving [since my hair has a bit of natural wave to it] to help tide me over, that would be amazing.
& any products you suggest that have worked for you. I've shelled out god knows how much already, but I'm willing.

Thanks so much!

[Yozhik]

Hello! Welcome to LHC :)

Hopefully, other knowledgeable LHCers will pop by to help. I would definitely suggest you ditch the straightening, as that will continue the cycle of damage to your hair, although in the short term it might make your hair look "better."

How long is your hair? That might help in tailoring advice to you.

It's great that you're COing and using coconut oil! :flower:
With regards to how to refrain from straightening, I'd suggest either a small amount of oil or leave-in conditioner, then try plopping (basically, tilt your head to the side, grab your hair and scrunch it toward your scalp) My hair has more wave than yours, but this should encourage your waves :) If that small amount doesn't work, try increasing amounts until you have good curl definition.

I hope that helps!

[spidermom]

Maybe it's worth it to you to use heat styling for now, with the plan to quit or cut down when your hair is a little longer and more of the worst damage is cut away. My hair used to dry like this when I didn't heat-style:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
My blow-dryer and my curling iron were my friends. After I got enough length to pull out the fluff, I got rid of the curling iron, though I still use the blow-dryer on the cool setting. I had to trim off a lot of damage, though, from just above waist length to APL (armpit length).

You could try raking some gel or mousse through your hair, scrunch it periodically as it dries, and seeing how it looks then.

[dainaleeo2]

Hello! Welcome to LHC :)

Hopefully, other knowledgeable LHCers will pop by to help. I would definitely suggest you ditch the straightening, as that will continue the cycle of damage to your hair, although in the short term it might make your hair look "better."

How long is your hair? That might help in tailoring advice to you.

It's great that you're COing and using coconut oil! :flower:
With regards to how to refrain from straightening, I'd suggest either a small amount of oil or leave-in conditioner, then try plopping (basically, tilt your head to the side, grab your hair and scrunch it toward your scalp) My hair has more wave than yours, but this should encourage your waves :) If that small amount doesn't work, try increasing amounts until you have good curl definition.

I hope that helps!

Ah i figured. I'm willing to do that of course, since the health of my hair is most important...i just haven't found anything I can do with that type i have. :(

the Length: right below [in the back] my collar, if I was wearing a tshirt. so basically the ends rub against the collar, & flick out as it is so straightening is pretty much useless anyway :p
Plopping...never heard of it. Sounds a lot like scrunching or whatnot. I'll definitely try it! :)

For leave ins, i normally use either It's A 10 miracle leave in, or some coconut oil, or a tiny bit of argan oil from Sally's.

The worst thing about plopping/scrunching is that...even a small amount of foam makes it have that hard, crunching feeling, you know? My hair is very fine/thin, so I have to find the right amount that'll not leave me with that :\
I use Herbal Essences tousle me softly, so I don't know if that's why or not. Eh.
Thanks for the advice & warm welcome :) I was a bit worried, being a newbie :laugh:

[dainaleeo2]

Maybe it's worth it to you to use heat styling for now, with the plan to quit or cut down when your hair is a little longer and more of the worst damage is cut away. My hair used to dry like this when I didn't heat-style:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
My blow-dryer and my curling iron were my friends. After I got enough length to pull out the fluff, I got rid of the curling iron, though I still use the blow-dryer on the cool setting. I had to trim off a lot of damage, though, from just above waist length to APL (armpit length).

You could try raking some gel or mousse through your hair, scrunch it periodically as it dries, and seeing how it looks then.


XD That is EXACTLY what my hair looks like when i allow it to air dry!
I suppose I'll have to wait it out until I can have the length to pull down the poof. Sigh. The wait kills!
I generally don't use my blow drier...since I'm not very savy in styling other than a straightener.

I think i'll try to just scrunch & allow it to heal, since right now, even straight it doesn't look good :(

[jane53]

Welcome, dainalee! I haven't any advice (different hair type, different length), but I'd like to welcome you as your neighbor 140 miles to the east-south-east!

[dainaleeo2]

Hi Jane! :waving:

Thanks for the welcome. I'm glad I finally posted. I was a bit terrified, but everyone is so nice! :)

xD you're not missing anything where I live. terrible terrible terrible is all I can say about Georgia... :boohoo:

[jane53]

Hi Jane! :waving:

Thanks for the welcome. I'm glad I finally posted. I was a bit terrified, but everyone is so nice! :)

xD you're not missing anything where I live. terrible terrible terrible is all I can say about Georgia... :boohoo:

And we envy Georgia here in Alabama!!! (We say "Thank God for Mississippi!" because it makes us only 49th most screwed up state!)

dainalee, I am very new here, but I have 15 years of experience on internet communities, and I find this one to be unusually friendly and civil. I'm grateful!

[dainaleeo2]

And we envy Georgia here in Alabama!!! (We say "Thank God for Mississippi!" because it makes us only 49th most screwed up state!)

dainalee, I am very new here, but I have 15 years of experience on internet communities, and I find this one to be unusually friendly and civil. I'm grateful!

Hah oh geeze, Mississippi. I don't even know where to begin on that :roll:
I'm from the north really, Chicago, so this is all new to me [being in the south that is].

Ah, well, I'm glad it is then! I'm normally just a lurker...but I felt as though I should actually start saying things :D

[dainaleeo2]

Also...I had to add something.

Has anyone had any experience using honey? I believe i tried it once, a few months ago, but it didn't seem to do anything for me. I was wondering if I was doing it wrong by chance. It's supposed to be a humectant, so really...wouldn't that what my hair would need?

[x0h_bother]

I also just used the Nexxus Emergencee treatment [which i'm still not sure if it's protein or not...], but it just seems as if NOTHING is working! :(
Yes the Emergencee is a protein treatment. It won't "work" to make your hair shinier but it will over time make your hair stronger if your hair likes protein. If not, your hair will break and feel brittle so be careful. DO NOT use this product more than once a week, your hair will break and it is not meant for that.
You seem to have a flyaway problem, that comes with fine hair? I don't have fine-fine hair so I can't be of too much help in terms of products. But I have had lots of success oiling, you will probably want to use a lighter oil like jojoba or something with fine hair. GL!

[x0h_bother]

Also...I had to add something.

Has anyone had any experience using honey? I believe i tried it once, a few months ago, but it didn't seem to do anything for me. I was wondering if I was doing it wrong by chance. It's supposed to be a humectant, so really...wouldn't that what my hair would need?
In my experience honey did not work for me. It is a humectant. I think humectants + humidity=frizz. I'm trying to take humectants out of my conditioning for the summer because of this.

[jane53]

Hah oh geeze, Mississippi. I don't even know where to begin on that :roll:
I'm from the north really, Chicago, so this is all new to me [being in the south that is].

Ah, well, I'm glad it is then! I'm normally just a lurker...but I felt as though I should actually start saying things :D

(and I'm really from Wisconsin and have spent lots of time in Chicago--but that doesn't really help your hair, does it?)

Anyway, there is lots of good information and advice here!

[dainaleeo2]

Yes the Emergencee is a protein treatment. It won't "work" to make your hair shinier but it will over time make your hair stronger if your hair likes protein. If not, your hair will break and feel brittle so be careful. DO NOT use this product more than once a week, your hair will break and it is not meant for that.
You seem to have a flyaway problem, that comes with fine hair? I don't have fine-fine hair so I can't be of too much help in terms of products. But I have had lots of success oiling, you will probably want to use a lighter oil like jojoba or something with fine hair. GL!


That's what I thought. Yea I just used it today, so I'll try using it again in a month, roughly. I conditioned really well afterward since I know it isn't really meant to do that as it is, but I think i'll need to use it again to see good results.
The flyaways...might just be since I'm straightening, a lot, & since I have very short layers on top they just seem to 'fly away' because they are so short, & technically that is my new growth as well. I use jojoba as well, which i forgot to include, so I'll just continue on with that.

& I thought as much for the honey. I guess I won't be using that during the humid Georgia summer weather, not unless i use something to seal over my hair [regardless, it frizzes during the summer, serum or no serum :roll: ]

[zenobia]

Hi and welcome! I'm new here too. My hair is very similar to yours, damaged, bleached, and a little wavy (although it doesn't get poofy.)

Have you heard of SMT? It stands for Snowymoon's moisture treatment (I think) -- you can search for it. It's a mixture of 4 parts conditioner, 1 part honey, and 1 part aloe vera gel. I tried it today for the first time and it worked great to make my hair feel almost normal again.

[dainaleeo2]

Hi and welcome! I'm new here too. My hair is very similar to yours, damaged, bleached, and a little wavy (although it doesn't get poofy.)

Have you heard of SMT? It stands for Snowymoon's moisture treatment (I think) -- you can search for it. It's a mixture of 4 parts conditioner, 1 part honey, and 1 part aloe vera gel. I tried it today for the first time and it worked great to make my hair feel almost normal again.

Hello! Nice to meet you ! :)

No i sadly haven't. I might have read the abbreviation, but a lot of them I still don't get :p
Oh that sounds good though! I like! I'm definitely going to search it now :) If it worked for you then I think it'll work for me! I'm trying to work with the 'poof' i have until it grows, so anything that moisturizes is good with me!

[UltraBella]

Plopping is quite different from just scrunching. I do it while I am applying makeup and getting ready. I would google it or watch a youtube video because that is easier than typing out an explanation :)
If your hair is that damaged, the flat iron has to go, you will just make it worse.
Good luck to you, there is an abundance of helpful info on this forum !!!!

[dainaleeo2]

Bella:

Yea, I'm starting to realize that, even for as much as I want to justify them since I use a heat protectant :\
Ah well. If it'll help, I'll do it.

I actually watched the JessiCurl [hope that's right] lady do it. I believe my hair might be too short for that method though. Bummer :( I'm still going to attempt it, but I might need to grow it a bit first. So srcunching will have to do until then.

[x0h_bother]

That's what I thought. Yea I just used it today, so I'll try using it again in a month, roughly. I conditioned really well afterward since I know it isn't really meant to do that as it is, but I think i'll need to use it again to see good results.
The flyaways...might just be since I'm straightening, a lot, & since I have very short layers on top they just seem to 'fly away' because they are so short, & technically that is my new growth as well. I use jojoba as well, which i forgot to include, so I'll just continue on with that.

& I thought as much for the honey. I guess I won't be using that during the humid Georgia summer weather, not unless i use something to seal over my hair [regardless, it frizzes during the summer, serum or no serum :roll: ]

I used the emergencee today and thought of your post :) I also condition after it.
I frizz a lot less since coming to LHC and I think that's because of oiling.
GL!

[Holly9192]

in middle school i used to straighten my hair ALOT...but after a while it seemed to stop making it smooth like it had been and making it frizzy. it might go a long way to just not straighten it and put in some kind of smoothing product. i usually just use a teenie bit of coconut oil if my hair is frizzy and it smooths it out.

[dainaleeo2]

I used the emergencee today and thought of your post :) I also condition after it.
I frizz a lot less since coming to LHC and I think that's because of oiling.
GL!

:D Yay! Did it work well for you? I think it worked pretty well for me. My hair is actually 10 times better this morning than it was last night. For some reason when I sleep on it [on my satin pillowcase...heard that's better for non-snagging?], it just looks smoother. Most likely since I'm flattening it when it sleep :p

I think I'm going to do that treatment again in a week or so. They said you can space it out 2 weeks. I don't leave it on that long though. Protein overloading scares me :\

I actually oiled last night, after trimming off some little white spots & white ends, so I applied some jojoba [maybe a wee bit too much], & this morning I applied a little coconut to the ends since I had to quickly run the iron over them to flatten [they flare out...drives me bonkers.]
After I wash I think I'll just start scrunching/plopping. I'm thinking of doing an overnight coconut/olive oil treatment...I don't know if i should mix or just do one. Hm.

[Calaelen]

My hair used to dry like this when I didn't heat-style:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg

This pic is awesome, looks like it should be a cd cover for the type of music I listen to (metal).

[Squeak toy]

I have fine hair and I feel it get frizzy at times but coconut oil helps to keep it smooth. Because my hair I'd fine I find that shorter ends just fly away and go in all sorts if directions and even gel will not control them all. Searching for some updos can help get your mind off it and hopefully help stop the urge to flat iron. I do not know any short styles off hand but heard lace and French braids are good for short hair.

[violeteyes]

I know how you feel with the heat styling- but the truth is, it could be one of the causes of the "poof" you describe. When I stopped heat styling, my hair kind of "rebelled" by looking frizzy and fluffy. Now, its so much softer and I don't feel like I have to style it for it to be bearable.

[spidermom]

This pic is awesome, looks like it should be a cd cover for the type of music I listen to (metal).

It would, wouldn't it? I like metal, too. My goth-loving niece did my makeup for me the day that picture was taken.

When you use gel or mousse, and your hair feels crunchy, remember - other people don't know that. In the past when I had the short, fluffy hair pictured above, I would often run gelled or moussed fingers through it, then let it dry, and sometimes I'd get pretty defined waves that looked great. My hair would definitely feel crunchy, but I judged it by how it looked from arm's length away. I'd leave it alone until I had time to rinse the product out.

[dainaleeo2]

Holly & Violet:

Yea, i think i'm basically going to end up not straightening it for some time. Not until it gets healthier & stronger. Then i might do it once a week or once every 2 weeks. I don't know if i could eliminate it completely...but then again my hair, before i started coloring like mad & straightening, was fine & pin straight on it's own. Maybe if i started leaving it alone...it would end up like that again. Hm. I'm sure it would since the top/new growth is smooth. just the middle/ends are processed & dry.

I have a question though. I'm most likely giving up coloring or highlighting for the future, since after my last accident [at the hair salon no less!] with highlighting she just destroyed it. Though, to match my natrual color...i need to add a slight bit of golden tone. Do you guys think if I did a demi-permanent would it be alright? nothing permanent, just to add a splash of that tone that I need to allow it to grow out & not look...nasty [as in blonde roots with a more ash brown legnth :( ].
other wise i'd have to cut a LOT off & i'm just not brave enough. in the least.

[dainaleeo2]

It would, wouldn't it? I like metal, too. My goth-loving niece did my makeup for me the day that picture was taken.

When you use gel or mousse, and your hair feels crunchy, remember - other people don't know that. In the past when I had the short, fluffy hair pictured above, I would often run gelled or moussed fingers through it, then let it dry, and sometimes I'd get pretty defined waves that looked great. My hair would definitely feel crunchy, but I judged it by how it looked from arm's length away. I'd leave it alone until I had time to rinse the product out.

Ha metal is amazing. & it does look like that...or something from the 80's hair metal bands most likely.

See, mine actually looks...like pine straw. it's so insanely fine that i think i end up putting too much & it even looks very very crunchy, not soft. i'm just not going to put much in now since I have a spray I can use after if it's not smooth/less poofy enough. hopefully that'll work. it's just trial & error with how much stuff to use. thin hair...-sigh-. :p

[sibiryachka]

For a leave-in that doesn't leave your hair feeling too crunchy, lots of folks here swear by Kimberlily's Defrizz Spray:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=277

As for your color issues, many here have much more expertise than I, but my gut reaction is that more dye might not be your best friend. Maybe rinsing with cassia or catnip would tone your roots enough to live with?

Just off the top of my head... :henny:

Welcome to the LHC - you've come the right place!

[dainaleeo2]

For a leave-in that doesn't leave your hair feeling too crunchy, lots of folks here swear by Kimberlily's Defrizz Spray:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=277

As for your color issues, many here have much more expertise than I, but my gut reaction is that more dye might not be your best friend. Maybe rinsing with cassia or catnip would tone your roots enough to live with?

Just off the top of my head... :henny:

Welcome to the LHC - you've come the right place!

Awesome! Thanks for the link. I'll check it out :)
I usually use It's A 10 Miracle Leave In Spray, which makes my hair feel like silk, but I'm out as it is so maybe it's time to try that!

Yea I've been reading around & lurking, & many seem to say that dye would still be much, much better than flat ironing. Plus it's ammonia free..which I'm guessing i'll be alright. Just this once & then I'm done, quitting cold turkey :p
Thanks for the warm welcome as well! It feels good to be a member now!

Oh, & i just woke up, but slept with extra virgin coconut oil on my hair all night. Time to CO-wash & then try plopping/scrunching :D

[tanya222]

I used to swear by Aussie 3-Minute Miracle! Still do actually, just that money's tight right now so I haven't been able to afford it. Does a great job of making my hair feel soft & smooth!

[UltraBella]

A Demi color that has no ammonia and no peroxide should not leave you with any additional damage. I like the Matrix Colorsync line personally.

[dainaleeo2]

tanya: oh i used to love Aussie 3 minute DEEEEP :) I think I might use it again if i can find it in my huge stash of hair products :roll:

Bella: Ah alright that's what i was thinking. I don't have Matrix, i mostly use Revlon Colorsilk, or Ion from Sally Beauty. but as long as its ammonia free & demi i think i'll be alright :)

[Anje]

Have you tried wet-testing your hair to see if it needs more protein or moisture? We've got an article (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=44) on how to test dry hair, this site (http://users.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~prb/chaos/tools/indirectotron.php?u=aHR0cDovL2JsYWNrYmVhdXR5YmxhY2 toYWlyODY5MTEueXVrdS5jb20vdG9waWMvNTExL3QvSGFpci1C cmVha2FnZS1hbmQtU2hlZGRpbmctMTAxLmh0bWw%3D&hs=0&hv=0&hx=0&hp=0&ho=1&w=The+host+is+blocked+on+LHC+and+I+honestly+don%27 t+know+why.++There+are+sites+that+have+asked+us+no t+to+discuss+them%2C+but+to+my+knowledge+this+isn% 27t+one+of+them.++All+the+same%2C+browse+at+your+o wn+risk.) explains some details of how to test wet.

With all the bleach damage, I imagine your hair may need some protein, but for some folks there's a fine line between enough and too much. My hair starts to feel super-tangly and weird if it gets too much, and I'm sure it's poofier. For me, SMT treatments seem to work wonders.

[dainaleeo2]

Have you tried wet-testing your hair to see if it needs more protein or moisture? We've got an article (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=44) on how to test dry hair, this site (http://users.ecs.soton.ac.uk/%7Eprb/chaos/tools/indirectotron.php?u=aHR0cDovL2JsYWNrYmVhdXR5YmxhY2 toYWlyODY5MTEueXVrdS5jb20vdG9waWMvNTExL3QvSGFpci1C cmVha2FnZS1hbmQtU2hlZGRpbmctMTAxLmh0bWw%3D&hs=0&hv=0&hx=0&hp=0&ho=1&w=The+host+is+blocked+on+LHC+and+I+honestly+don%27 t+know+why.++There+are+sites+that+have+asked+us+no t+to+discuss+them%2C+but+to+my+knowledge+this+isn% 27t+one+of+them.++All+the+same%2C+browse+at+your+o wn+risk.) explains some details of how to test wet.

With all the bleach damage, I imagine your hair may need some protein, but for some folks there's a fine line between enough and too much. My hair starts to feel super-tangly and weird if it gets too much, and I'm sure it's poofier. For me, SMT treatments seem to work wonders.

Yea i've tried that, & I'm pretty sure it's more on the dry side. I'm still thinking of doing a protein treatment but just leaving it on for a very short amount of time since i wouldn't want protein overload :(