having a setback,what's next?

[Cleopatra18]

My hair has been my worst enemy recently,all that stress made me shed like crazy,i didnt see any major growth in the past 3 month and my ends are horrible,even my splitends are not having any mercy despite having my hair in an updo ALL THE TIME.so basically,now i'm left with an ugly,thin pile of hipish hair that doesnt look half as beautiful as other people who abuse their hair to no end.i'm still working on stopping this horrible shedding but im wondering what im supposed to do after that? am i supposed to cut it to make it look better? my length check mark was yesterday i was supposed to straighten it at the salon etc,but i didnt because i was too disgusted to see it(literally).
on the other hand,my sister's hair is highlighted,heat damaged and she got from bsl in around january to almost wl now,and it doesnt look that bad really.
i'm so close to giving up on my hair,my goal this year was healthy tailbone hair but i should just kiss that goodbye.

[May]

Your post made me really sad :( I feel your pain. maybe there's something that can be changed in your hair care routine that might make a difference until your hair can regain it's health. What's your haircare like now? (Products etc.) In the meantime just take a breath and remember you're more than your hair length;)

[lilith]

Your post made me really sad :( I feel your pain. maybe there's something that can be changed in your hair care routine that might make a difference until your hair can regain it's health. What's your haircare like now? (Products etc.) In the meantime just take a breath and remember you're more than your hair length;)

I second what May said!

I've had sort of an ongoing fantasy for a few years now about growing long, thick, healthy hair that falls somewhere between BSL and tailbone length. But I've come to realize over the years that with my genetics, diet, and stress levels, it just aint happenin'. I'm starting to accept that having healthy (if thinner), medium length hair is ok too.

You mentioned updos, but I've never really been able to wear many of those. Partly because I'm too clumsy to actually do them correctly :), but also because even a loose, gently placed ponytail often ends up pulling somewhere on my sensitive scalp unless I fidget endlessly, and my thin hair can't support many other types of updos.

Could your scalp just be sensitive right now and need a break? Maybe updos aren't the best thing for you at the moment. I think that maybe for some people, as their hair grows longer, the extra weight might place more stress on the scalp than they're used to and it just needs some time to adjust, especially when you're wearing your hair up the majority of the time. Updos may protect the ends, but perhaps stresses the scalp to some degree?

Do you think you could use something like scarves, that would pull your hair out of your face and protect your hair but without any pulling or tugging?

I love using Buffs, too... I don't know what you like wearing on your head or what your personal style is, but if you like this sort of thing, these will protect your hair and scalp from the sun and keep your head cool, while giving your hair a break. They might help you rehab your hair a little?

http://www.buyabuff.com/

http://www.planetbuff.com

http://www.buffwear.com/

[spidermom]

I'm sorry to hear how disappointed and discouraged you feel. You can cut back from time to time and still end up with long, nice-looking hair. I know I've cut at least 18 inches off my hair over the past 10 years. It's a long-term project; no rush.

[Brenda714]

Hi,
I know what you mean, mine has been shedding like crazy and I am so depressed about it I'm ready to start using rogaine, are you on any medications? I am and I think it's contributing to the loss, but the ends are thinning out and I hate it, yet I have no control over it. What to do? At least yours is down to your hip, maybe you can can do some french braids and deep conditioners, maybe try rogaine too. Good luck to you, wish me the same. :)

[MsBubbles]

I'm sorry you're hair growing didn't go to plan! I totally understand that feeling, and shedding basically does move the goalposts. Stressing about shedding is one of those vicious cycles. Any idea what caused it?

My advice would be to ease up on your own expectations, and definitely stop comparing your hair with other people's.

Whenever I do that I make myself utterly miserable.

Lilith I see we are almost hair twins. I agree 100% with you on updos :rolleyes: :(.

[x0h_bother]

I totally understand, I'm the same way, I've been really stressed and haven't had any major growth since I joined and have had a ton of shedding. I'm a bit depressed about it too, cause I stopped heat styling my hair. *Sigh* Aren't we supposed to experience better growth and less shedding?