PDA

View Full Version : two questions: debating about growing long.



kitmarlow
May 12th, 2010, 01:33 AM
I'm beginning to have first doubts about growing my hair to waist length.

first, the sores I used to have as a child on my scalp have reappeared with a vengeance and they're also attacking the sides of my face and forehead. I have bangs and they appeared around my hairline and under my bangs first, so I assume it's a hair thing. right now I'm shampooing very infrequently with nature's gate henna and conditioning with mane&tail, nature's gate, or a random aussie conditioner. I switch between them a lot because of the textures they bring out in my hair. aussie is coney, so it makes my waves into more of a body wave with a lot of straightness. nature's gate and m&t both make my hair pretty curly. it just depends on which I'd rather smell all day. I'd say I wash twice a week and try to wash my bangs every other day.

secondly, I have a new boyfriend and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know I know, I should be 100% certain before agreeing to any kind of relationship, but he really wasn't as wiggy as he has been since we've been officially dating. anyway, the other day he asked me if I'd ever had long hair because that's something he likes on women and I explained that I'm growing my hair out from the super short hair I used to have when I met him and that it has been nearly at my waist in the past. he got really excited about the idea of my hair hitting my waist, which is how I feel, but I want to make it clear that my hair is for me, not for anyone else, and to me, that makes me feel like cutting it all off just to show how independent I am from this new person. I guess I have some serious issues to get over there, but the scalp thing doesn't help. :/

Iylivarae
May 12th, 2010, 01:40 AM
Have you ever seen a dermatologist for your sores?

As for the boyfriend stuff: With cutting you would just show that you let yourself influence by his opinion, even if it's not the way he wants it to influence you. If you like it long, then leave it long, no matter what others think (even if they want it, too).

kitmarlow
May 12th, 2010, 01:42 AM
I saw a dermatologist when I had trichotillomania (another good reason to grow hair long now is that I no longer have trich!) as a child. I had these sores then, too, and used to pick at them. she prescribed a coal shampoo which did absolutely nothing. they went away when I was in middle school and cut it really short. it's been short since then except for my junior and senior years in high school when I grew out to shoulder length for a while. I can't remember if I had them, then, or not, but I was using NG products, too.

Flynn
May 12th, 2010, 01:50 AM
I'd see another dermatologist about the sores. It could be anything, from an allergy to an infection.

I agree with Iylivarae about your boyfriend's influence on your hair.

Nini
May 12th, 2010, 03:33 AM
Have you ever looked into the possibility of you having eczema? Stress might bring it out, and it sounds like you've been experiencing some now.

I doubt it's the length causing your sores.

Nini

LILBERT
May 12th, 2010, 04:04 AM
I dont think that hair length will be causing your sores. I agree with what the others have said about the boyfriend. I just wanted to add that your hair will not grow to waist overnight. Its a very gradual process, why not see how it goes and how you feel about your growing hair rather than making a done decision right now? :o

GRU
May 12th, 2010, 04:37 AM
I'm going to agree with the others who have suggested checking with a doctor about the sores. I go through bouts of seborrheic dermatitis from time to time, and I can end up with some bleeding from picking at the scabs/scales.

Have you ever been checked for thyroid issues? Thyroid deficiencies can manifest in skin problems (among others - thyroid hormone can affect virtually every system of the body).

As for the boyfriend, don't worry about it. This is YOUR hair and anything you do (or don't do) is for YOU.

Toadstool
May 12th, 2010, 04:40 AM
Sounds just like seborrheic dermatitis. Infrequent shampooing will make it worse. I have gone back to using head and shoulders sensitive shampoo because CO brought mine back with a vengeance. Length of hair shouldn't affect it.

curlywurlygurly
May 12th, 2010, 04:41 AM
I agree with everyone, I would suggest you go and see a dermatologist about the sores - they could be a number things.

In regards to your new boyfriend, I completely understand what you're saying about wanting to be independent, however I agree with others... why let his opinion change what you want to do. You are not defined by your hair.

embee
May 12th, 2010, 05:31 AM
I'm not sure what you mean by "sores", but when I was younger (maybe your age) I got pimples and nasty zits under my bangs and around my hair line, no matter how often I shampooed (which was proabably every other day). The doctor recommended that I wash my bangs whenever I washed my face, and there was special soap (don't recall, it was prescription) which was to clean my skin properly without leaving residue. You might try washing and rinsing your face and hairline *well* - with some simple soap - morning and evening, to see if there's any improvement. That's a cheap thing you can do at home without additional expense. My skin condition was very dependent on time of the month and my boyfriend situation too. Bummer, that. Neat boyfriend, bad skin. sigh.

As for letting BF dictate your hairstyle or length, you're in a pickle. If you cut you're defying him just to show your independence. If you grow you appear to be growing to please him... That's a lose/lose however you look at it. If you'd like your hair longer, grow it for *yourself*, not for someone else. It's *your* hair. :)

Sarahmoon
May 12th, 2010, 05:39 AM
You wanted to grow your hair long before boyfriend expressed he likes the idea, right? That means you were already doing it for yourself. That your boyfriend likes it too is a plus and a compliment in my opinion. (Imagine you bought an outfit you like and he says he likes it too, no reason to destroy the outfit, right?)