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redneckprincess
May 6th, 2010, 01:27 PM
I know what I said...and I dont WANT to, but I think I HAVE to. :(:confused::( Everytime I look at my hair I am just so unhappy with the thin ends, choppy layers, and unevenness.

What do I do? HERE (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=4808&pictureid=69930) is a recent picture of my hair straightened (flat-ironed) where you can REALLY see what I'm dealing with. HERE (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=4808&pictureid=68134) is one from last month, natural texture. You can see it, but not so much. (but please remember its MY hair and I CAN)

I HATE how my hair is so much shorter in the front then in the back. It just looks like its missing a HUGE chunk of hair. if you look at some of the other pictures in that same album, you can see what Im talking about...(sorry my computer had to be re-booted, and I lost all my pics and photobucket password- so I cant show you what I mean with pics and arrows and lines...but its SO OBVIOUS you can see by just looking)

I measured and think I would "only" have to take off 3" (6 months) in order to even it up with the SHORTEST layers

I LOVE finally feeling like its getting long, but HATE the way it looks...I dont like un-even hair...

*PLEASE ADVISE...though dont worry Im not ready to run off and do it this afternoon, but in about a month or so...and no, this isnt a spur of the moment thing, I have been silently contemplating this for months....

frizzalot
May 6th, 2010, 01:35 PM
Can you you just trim half and inch every two months until it evens out?

Because hair grows out at different speeds, if you do a 3inch chop in one go, after 6 months you might still have an uneven hemline!

the half inch off ever two months will at least let the faster growing hairs 'wait' for the slower ones, which will give you a more evened hem.

even with your rounded hemline, i think your hair is really pretty :)

ETA: in the natural texture pic you posted, it doesn't look uneven. So its not very noticeble unless you wear your hair straightened...

redneckprincess
May 6th, 2010, 01:39 PM
thank you, and yes one of the options IS 1" every 2 months...(which is my growth rate)
a half an inch at a time wouldnt be enough to sooth me...really

spidermom
May 6th, 2010, 01:41 PM
I agree with frizzalot that small trims on a regular basis is the way to go. You might consider getting a U-shaped style, which will blend the shorter front with the longer back without having to lose a lot of length. Of course, as you can tell by my sig pic, I'm a fan of the U-shape.

SimplyViki
May 6th, 2010, 01:42 PM
Come back to the trimming pact! ;) If you think of those three inches as three trims, maybe it will be more doable, more tolerable to you to wait out the time and cut the layers out gradually. I'm actually about 3 inches away from getting rid of my layers, myself. We can do it together, if you want. :) I just trimmed an inch towards the end of April, so I'll be due for another trim in June. Just three or four trims and you'll be rid of those layers!

Heidi_234
May 6th, 2010, 01:54 PM
RNP, I think your hair looks fine! It's layered, that all. Not to mention that even when it's much longer, and without any layer, it would still appear shorter on the front. I understand the frustration though, been trying to get rid of the layer for a long time now.

If you do decide to go for it, I second what Viki says. :)

Amraann
May 6th, 2010, 01:56 PM
I think it is a good choice to wait a bit before you do this.

Is there some way that you can keep it up and baby it for awhile and do small trims like mentioned above?

If it really bothers you then you will have to do what you think will make you happy.
Please keep us posted!

manderly
May 6th, 2010, 02:05 PM
Your hair looks pretty normal for most of us starting out :)

It took me around 2.5 years to grow from around nape to BSL because I had to constantly trim. Your hair doesn't look unredeemable, and I think that putting it up (love those peacock twists) and ignoring it while you trim regularly will get you what you want with less trauma than a huge cut.

VanillaTresses
May 6th, 2010, 02:28 PM
If it was me I think I would switch to wearing updos (even a ponytail) for a while. This will hide the ends that you are worried about and let your hair gain some length. After a couple of months, if you are still as dissatisfied with the ends, then start getting them trimmed regularly until you are happy with them again. Just my 2 cents! :)

Whatever you decide, good luck and I hope you are happy with it!

melrose1985
May 6th, 2010, 02:28 PM
I agree with the rest on small trims. I know though when you feel down about it it makes you want to chop it all off.. That's how i always was feeling.

chaoticwaves
May 6th, 2010, 02:37 PM
I dealt with the much of the same uneveness and dislike of my ends. I went ahead and cut off several inches. It is amazing how much thicker my hair feels and looks, and I like the blunt hemline. Granted though, my hair is a lot shorter now than yours would be if you cut off 3 inches (mine is close to reaching shoulder). I did have to deal with triangle head for a while there though LOL, but it has grown out nicely.

Take your time to think about everything, and do what makes YOU happy girly. Your hair is looking great!!

Cass

Carolyn
May 6th, 2010, 02:43 PM
RNP, I've seen you work so hard on your hair since you got to LHC and you've made marvelous strides forward. Yes, now and then a lot of us need to think about losing some length to gain some health. I'd say wait 2 weeks and then if you feel the same way go get an inch trimmed off and get a U shape. That will give you more of a style as you grow. Two months later plan to reassess your progress and how you feel about your hair. You may or may not be ready for a second 1" trim. You've gained enough length to do a nice ponytail, a peacock twist and the like. You don't want to deny yourself those styles with summer coming.

Lassie
May 6th, 2010, 02:53 PM
i woudnt do a big chop...
mini trims or just leave it till you get longer..

i have been there done that (cut bad ends) 4 times......each time i regretted it sorely...least with length you can do updo's better..
if you cuto too much off you may be tempted to flat iron to get it to look right and look nice at a short length..

your hair seems very nice and has a lovely texture.....

if you havnt already then try SMT and coconut oil...have worked wonders for me

Tresses
May 6th, 2010, 02:53 PM
RNP, I've seen you work so hard on your hair since you got to LHC and you've made marvelous strides forward. Yes, now and then a lot of us need to think about losing some length to gain some health. I'd say wait 2 weeks and then if you feel the same way go get an inch trimmed off and get a U shape. That will give you more of a style as you grow. Two months later plan to reassess your progress and how you feel about your hair. You may or may not be ready for a second 1" trim. You've gained enough length to do a nice ponytail, a peacock twist and the like. You don't want to deny yourself those styles with summer coming.

This. :agree:

RNP, when you straightened your hair, those layers looked obvious. They blend much better with your natural texture. If you can, buy a new hair toy or two and start putting up your hair so you don't have to think about it. :thumbsup:

TiaKitty
May 6th, 2010, 03:18 PM
I agree with all of the above posters... wait, wear it up, trim a little at a time and see if you have to have more. If you have to have more, then do it.

I agree especially with the don't deny yourself summer updo's because of trimming. Those extra layers aren't noticeable in your naturally textured hair, just flattened. Plus, summer gets you more body, usually, and faster growth.

I hope you can ease your mind and not focus on it for the time being. Don't angst yourself all up!

akurah
May 6th, 2010, 04:13 PM
I haven't trimmed or cut my hair in quite some time, though admittedly it needs it badly.

If you're going for some epic length as your long-term goal? Put it up and don't trim. Just don't. If you're NOT going for major length, just longer hair (anywhere past shoulder to as long as waist), then in that case, I don't think a trim would have adverse effects on your goal.

Keep in mind a "blunt" hemline on wavy and curly hair will look different than a blunt hemline on stick straight hair, and if your hair is cut blunt whilst stick straight, it will look different when curled. Likewise, if your hem is cut blunt whilst curly, when straightened, it probably will not look blunt.

frodolaughs
May 6th, 2010, 04:22 PM
I'm another vote for smaller trims rather than a big chop. In my experience a big chop will give you an even length immediately, but it won't last. If you want to get and maintain a thick hemline smaller regular trims really are the way to go, because as someone else mentioned hairs have individual growth rates so if you do a big chop you lose a lot of length and then as it grows out again you get uneven. If you cut a little at a time you'll keep the speedier hair from running away and give the slowpokes a chance to catch up. You'll also preserve the ability to put your hair up, which will keep it more protected and let it grow out with less damage. It will also let you get it off your neck as we go into summer. This is one of the things I really like about having long hair--that it can be really, really out of the way when you don't want to deal with it. The only hair length which is as little in the way for me is a pixie, and that doesn't give you a lot of options.

halo_tightens
May 6th, 2010, 04:40 PM
I like it as it is, myself... My own ends are kind of that way too, so I might be biased. :)

If you're going to wear your hair flatironed, try flipping all the ends outward! It would look awesome with all those little flippy layers in the back, trust me.

And when you wear your natural texture, you're right-- it's not really an issue then.

If you have to change it, I'd also say to just go with a nice U-shape. You won't have to lose a lot of length, and everything will blend together.

:grouphug:

ETA: Or do what I do, lol-- I LIVE in half-ups these days! Put those slightly shorter upper layers into a pretty bun, and let the rest flow! :thumbsup:

ButterCream
May 6th, 2010, 04:43 PM
I just wanted to pop in and say I really didn`t notice much of the layers when you didn`t straighten it. But when you straightened it, they became more noticable.

Several suggested wear it up and I think that is a good idea, how do you feel about that?
Makes you forget a littlebit about your hair and suddenly it has grown more than you knew. I know that happened to me a few times, lol:D

And summer is a great growthperiod, and to have hair you can put up and out of the way will maybe leave you with a veeery nice surprize after a little while:D

Good luck whatever you decide, you are on the road to longer hair now:)

MonikaHa
May 6th, 2010, 05:15 PM
I had a similar situation, and I did chop off a bit of length. I must say, I could not be happier. Hair feels healthy, thick and I don't have to put up with bad hair and small trims every month. At first, I did trim a little bit, but really that still changed nothing for me, hair was still damaged, and layers were still there, but shorter.
I am all for quality over length.

I would suggest maybe trimming enough so you can still put your hair up.

julliams
May 6th, 2010, 05:38 PM
RNP, I have the same dilemma as you. I posted something similar here a while ago and everyone advised the same thing. I ended up going and getting 1" off and my layers trimmed so that they are more even. I felt happier with my hair and but I did notice a difference with my updos. I guess those little uneven ends provided extra length at the ends to get my hair into certain buns.

I do like my blunt ends much better though and I think now that my layers are even it just looks better if I want to wear it straight. With your natural waves, it really isn't noticable and probably contributes to the wave pattern, but if you do want to wear it straight from time to time you might like to get them evened out.

I also dislike how my hair looks shoulder length at the front but BSL at the back but I have noticed MANY people on TV have this style (thinking of Gabby on Desperate Housewives, the main character on Glee just to name a couple). It seems to be a style that is popular so perhaps this is how many hairdressers are being asked to cut hair. I personally think that BSL hair that is BSL all over looks alot longer than layered BSL hair but that's just my opinion.

Instead of doing one big chop which would have you back at shoulder length, consider doing 1" every 6 weeks until you are at the same length. This way you get to re-evaluate how you like your hair and can stop if you wish , or keep going if you want the one length.

Let us know what you decide to do and best of luck with your decision.

HeatherMae
May 6th, 2010, 05:57 PM
I personally, don't see anything wrong with your hair at all. I like it and have very much enjoyed following along with you on your growing journey.

HOWEVER, I too, know what it's like to decide that you are unhappy with your hair. It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. It's something that we see, think and feel and it won't change until we do something about it.

I like the idea mentioned above about the smaller trims every couple of months. You will still have the length, and will fix the problem without a drastic-ish cut. :)

Lady Mary
May 6th, 2010, 06:39 PM
I would just trim it a bit over time, good luck in whatever you choose.

GoddesJourney
May 6th, 2010, 06:55 PM
I thought choppy and layered was in. Your straightened picture would fit right in around here. You can even it up if you want. I got rid of my layers and a whole lot of damage. I'm a lot happier with it now, but I was pretty unhappy with it for a few months after I did it because it was *too* blunt and simply boring looking at that length. Blunt seems to look better on longer hair, but mine was barely APL and blunt. I couldn't wait for it to get uneven, honestly. Anyway, that's just how I felt about it. Maybe it won't be the same for yours.

PurpleAshes
May 6th, 2010, 08:55 PM
I think your hair is absolutely gorgeous :(

LawyerGirl
May 6th, 2010, 08:57 PM
Noooooooooo you can't! You're one of my hair inspirations!

Heavenly Locks
May 6th, 2010, 10:59 PM
Being happy with your hair is the MOST important part of having it :) If you want to get rid of damage and uneven layers, you need to trim it. 1/2 inch every other month would still let you gain length and still be letting you feel like you are taking off the worst.

It doesn't look as bad to other people as it does to you, remember that! ;)

JamieLeigh
May 7th, 2010, 12:10 AM
I think that your hair is gorgeous! Especially the photo of your natural wave, so many people would love to have your hair!! :flower:

I also think that if you are not happy, you should do what will allow you to BECOME happy with your hair. If you don't enjoy your hair journey, what is the point in even having one? :( Ya know?

BUT I think that if you must cut, just do a half-inch at the most and then just wait on the rest until after summer is over. There is a high temp summer coming up for most of the US, and if it were me, I would not want my hair to be sticking to my neck. If you don't either, then make sure you leave it long enough to put up, if you decide to trim. Then you can assess your length after summer is over, and think about if you really do still want to chop more.

And I am here to tell you - even here at midthigh, a trim of half an inch can make your ends feel completely new and different! In a good way! :D

Good luck!! :)

Masara
May 7th, 2010, 12:23 AM
My hair looked a lot like that at about the same length. I never wore it down, so I wasn't distracted by the unevenness of the ends, although it would have been nice to have wearing it down as an option.

I agree with others; if it's really annoying you, your best bet is to cut the unevenness off gradually. That way, you won't be losing length, just not gaining

natorade
May 7th, 2010, 01:20 AM
I totally feel what you are saying. For the last 2 weeks I have been torn whether to cut my hair or not. I am very unhappy with the left over damaged orange ends from August when i had my bad salon experience and I hate that the front of my hair is so much shortet than the back. And i really do kind of miss my Aline. I did receive alot of compliments from people when I had my last Aline. I figured the if i cut my back short again then by time the back catches up with the front I will be at a length where I can keep trimming up the back to keep my hair all one length. I am giving myself another 2 weeks to think about it. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

EtherealOde
May 7th, 2010, 01:22 AM
I say quit flat-ironing your hair and you won't notice the layers so much. :) And it really is at a length where you can finally do things with it that you couldn't do before. Wear it up more and get pretty toys to distract you, then re-evaluate at the end of summer. In the meantime, do small trims of 1/2 of your growth rate to get rid of damage and layers. That's how I do it so I don't have to chop it all off. My hair still grows, just half as slow as if I didn't trim!

hanne jensen
May 7th, 2010, 02:57 AM
My hemline looks EXACTLY like yours every 8 weeks. I have DH micro-trim (dust) about 1/4-1/2 CENTIMETER and it works miracles! I'm also trying to grow out layers. My longest layer is only 2 cm. from my hemline now.

When you don't flat iron your hair the layers blend in beautifully. Please don't torture your hair anymore. I may be forced to report you to the Prevention Against Cruelty To Hair Society! ;)

fashionaddict
May 7th, 2010, 04:14 AM
Do not trim. I feel your pain. I hate my layers. In the front it looks like my hair is twice as short than it actually is. If you trim you will be back to a much shorter lenght and waiting for it all to grow back will discourage you (it has discouraged me in the past).
My advice is the same as some of those who have spoken before me - put it up and baby, baby, baby it. If I spend time on my hair then I feel a lot better about it. :). When all your layers (or most of them) start fitting in your updos you won't notice them all that much. And if they don't, just use pins, so every time you look in the mirror you won't see a bunch of layers sticking out of your do;)
I am rooting for you!:cheer:

Multiruus
May 7th, 2010, 04:26 AM
for me, that was the very akward state. From neck to bsl my hair looked really bad from time to time but I just did not want to cut it. I just always kept my hair in some kind of half up do. It was worth not cuting because after reaching bsl, my hair has suddenly started to look better and better all the time! :D

FrannyG
May 7th, 2010, 05:05 AM
I am with the many who say that if after your waiting period, you still want a trim, just go with an inch at a time. Your hair is long enough now to put up, and if you cut 3 inches off at this time, you'll really feel that you've lost a lot of length.

I really know where you're coming from, but I think that a 3 inch chop right now is too much. With smaller but fairly regular trims, you can still gain length and the layers will be gone before you know it.

RavennaNight
May 7th, 2010, 06:00 AM
Yeah, I agree with all who say smaller trims. Your hair doesn't look bad by any stretch of the imagination. 3 inches seems like a lot to cut off and you have made so much progress! I don't see the chunk missing of which you speak :confused:

redneckprincess
May 7th, 2010, 07:12 AM
thank you so much for each and every post, (i never expected quite so many) some made me laugh and some made me say "thats true" I cant quote them all, that would take forever...but I see what you are all saying...

I cant do anything yet but by mid-June/july I think I will go back and get no more then 1" trimmed off and see how long I can wait to do it again...my last 1" trim was in Feb. so I have since then gained THAT back plus some.

I cant wear up-dos much because I get migraines.
I dont flat-iron much anymore, but "I" still see the choppy unevenness with my hair curly

I do feel better about it but think very soon I am ready to brave another (unnoticable) trim...thank you all so much, you very well may have just saved me from causing myself A LOT of greif...☺

Beesweet
May 7th, 2010, 07:33 AM
I get headaches from updos as well, but your hair seems long enough to do some nape-of-the-neck pullbacks that might not bother you. Pull back the front and let the back down. That works for me.

I have a lot of the same feelings you do, and I usually cave in and chop. Thew newness of the chop lasts me for a while, then I am back to disliking my hair -- this time because I cut it and it is stuck at the same in-between length it ALWAYS seems to be at.

So what I do now:

*Give it a few weeks up in a buff or bandanna or beret.

*Change up how I am conditioning it. Maybe you could clarify if you use a lot of oils, or maybe if you mess with your hair a lot, you could leave it alone for a while.

*Ignore it


One of my daughters flat irons her hair, and I believe it is the kiss of death for loss of shine, movement, and body.

Just breathe, love your hair in the state it is in. If you still want to cut in a few weeks, that's another story.

Arctic
May 7th, 2010, 08:00 AM
(I didn't read all answers yet.)
Well, first of all, I wouldn't say a 3 inch trim as "starting over". From your title I thought you are planning of shaving it all off :bigeyes: I also wouldn't advice thinking the inches = months. That would drive me crazy personally! I am usually a person who thinks it's more important to like my hair NOW than in some distant future. It's important to look in the mirror and like your image! Ofcourse other people might have different priorities.

I personally probably would trim those 3 inches. It's really not a lot of length outside long hair boards. Especially if you wear you hair straight. But if you practically never wear your hair straight, then slower approach of trimming your growth monthly until the layers are gone (maintaining) would be a good choise, waves hide a lot, and I think your wavy picture looks really good!
Or trim 1,5 or 2 inches first then the rest after summer, many people need a trim after hot, sunny summer anyway.

I personally also like U shaped hemlines a lot, and that would make your sides blend nicely to the back and gives style to the whole hair.

atlantaz3
May 7th, 2010, 11:19 AM
What is your final goal? All one length hair or to have longer layers at some point? I've grown out layers basically both ways a major chop. And went home and cried for about three hours! Slow and steady while it seems to take for ever worked so much better. Do the mini trims and enjoy the fullness you get from each trim.

chopandchange
May 7th, 2010, 11:42 AM
My advice is that you go for a compromise: cut off half the amount of hair you are contemplating. See how you feel with that, and if you still want to, cut off the remainder as well.

Demetrue
May 7th, 2010, 08:59 PM
The uneven part is barely noticeable if you stop flat ironing it. Just keep giving it lots of TLC and see how you feel later on in the summer - then you can trim off an inch and not feel like you are starting over. I know how long it has taken you to get to this point and I would hate to see you regret going too short.

angelthadiva
May 7th, 2010, 10:12 PM
Cover the mirrors, hide the scissors. Donate the flat iron, resist the hair dye and henna. Burn the strippy shirt and post back at the end of the summer with your long, flowing sun kissed locks! ;)