Lack of Style - Short to Long

[smilinjenn71]

So, I had a pixie cut that I absolutely LOVED for 12 yrs. It was so spunky and easy....I never had a bad hair day and always felt sassy wearing it.

Roughly 2 yrs ago I decided to grow my hair long again, mainly because I wanted/needed a change. Currently I'm at shoulder length and quite frankly, I'm not really diggin' it!:( Don't misunderstand, I *do* want to keep growing my hair out. I've come tooooo far now to cut it all off again. Ultimate goal is BSL with long layers. (jury is still out on bangs)

However, am I alone in feeling that longer hair feels less spunky? Less put together and sassy? I dislike not having style. Not so much for other people but for myself!! I like feeling confident and sassy about my hair. I like looking professional. I like feeling put together. I like looking in the mirror and thinking to myself....heck yea, that hair is HOTT!hehe IMHO, the best thing a woman can do for herself is to be confident in how she presents herself to the world. I'm not saying be cookie cutter - but to find what feels good and right to her.

Maybe I'm just in an awkward stage and in another 6mos I will LOVE LOVE LOVE my long hair.(???) OK, pity party over...... well, not quite but you know what I'm sayin'!

**EDIT** After several weeks of debating side swept bangs, I've decided to do it. I think that will be just enough change to keep me growing. Actually going this morning!!! (5-1-10) I will be updating length pic today, so I'll take a pic to post here too.

[noelgirl]

I think that a big part of it is what constitutes sassy for you personally. And that's a big YMMV. I feel like it shows my personality to wear my hair long and naturally wurly, because that's a powerful aesthetic for me, I feel leonine with my mane blowing around in the breeze. But it's about the way you see yourself in your mind's eye, so that image is going to be different for everyone, and that's a beautiful thing.

[MerryKat]

I found that the shoulders to armpit lengths are the most difficult - your hair is neither one thing nor another.

From around armpit, I found I could start doing some lovely updo's and that helped matters. By BSL my hair was comfortable in updo's and always looked chic and put together.

Now (just past waist) I find I feel very put together with my hair up in an updo - far more than I ever did with a pixie.

I would hang in there and try and find some half up's that give you more of a feeling of neatness.

Hugs

[ButterCream]

Hi!
Actually I know how you feel! I have had short hair for so many many, years of my life and I was always getting compliments that I looked so sporty and fresh etc. After going into this experiment as I choose call it (then my family aren`t all the time asking me when I am going to cut it, how I am going to cut it etc..:rolleyes:).

What I found out (for my part any way) is that yes it was easy to have short hair, it took a short time to style it and it looked good and spunky as you said. But what I am thinking about is that:
If you look around you, in the mall, on the street etc, what is the most usual hairstyle these days? Here in Norway we are seing a lot (A LOT) of those bob cuts and short hair on many women (around where I am living anyway). And those cuts are great! They are fashionable, stylish and supercute. And I see a lot of hair that is inbetween those lengths, like just past shoulder. What I don`t see that much of is long and shiny hair. So to me long hair actually stands out more these days since so many are aiming to the shorter styles.
And I have actually NEVER seen anyone in my area that has really long hair (I am serious) so depending on where you live maybe your hair will stand out and be considered cool BECAUSE you don`t look mainstream:flower::thumbsup:

That was just some of my thoughts anyway.
Wishing you speedy hairgrowing!:cheer:

[Carolyn]

I've never had a pixie so I can't compare the difference in how a pixie cut feels as opposed to long hair. But I can tell you that for me there was this awkward length from shoulders to about armpit length. I had more bad hair days than good hair days. It never looked like I thought it should look. I've done the shoulders to long thing several times. When I would finally get past armpit and on to mid back length, I'd start liking my hair again. I would feel good with it and comfortable with it. I'd start liking the way I looked again. So hang in there and try to stick it out. I think it's worth it and I hope you will too.

[jivete]

I agree with everyone, shoulder to armpit is a weird length. It isn't really long, but it isn't short either. I had my hair this length for years because I couldn't get it to grow any longer. I'm glad I'm past that stage and you will be soon too.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

I can feel for you. My hair's about that length too, and i never feel awesome in my hair unless i wear some kind of extensions. BUT (a big "but" here) long hair is very, very sassy and enables you to wear most of the styles and updos. There are tons of alternatives; you can wear them curly, wavy, straight, dreadlocked, highlighted, braided...when you have pixie hair you can only color and gel it to create funky styles :/

besides, long hair is a "luxury". not everyone out there can grow hair past BSL but we, LHCers, can :D Especially when hair reaches beyond a certain length (let's say, waist) it's guaranteed that you'll attract all the attention :D (which i LOOOVE!)

[luluj]

:waving:Hi smilinjen! Hmmmm.....You are right about feeling a little less put together now that you have some length......it happens to me too......only difference is that I didn't like my pixie from the very beginning, so it must be tough for you I'm sure. You definitely suited your pixie, it was very flattering on you! Now that said, your longer hair is just so pretty and feminine.......a completely different look for sure. In my humble opinion I think you are just at the awkward stage, maybe give it a couple of more months, your hair seems to grow quickly, and by then you will be able to "play" with it more. Just think, you will be able to wear your hair in a pony tail this summer, I know that is my plan, it's been quite some time since I could do that! I plan to have some serious "pony-tude" going on !LOL!! By the way, it's not a pity party at all. We all have "those" days and how wonderful to have TLHC to come to for support and encouragement! Ok....all that said.......I vote for keeping your length!;)

[Pixna]

For me, shoulder to APL was torture. I grit my teeth every time I passed a mirror and just kept telling myself to hang in there, that eventually things would get better. And they have. Luckily, I'm able to put my hair up and forget about it now, which I love being able to do (and I do it daily). I also can indulge myself (almost too much!) with pretty, fun, or funky hair toys, which make my updos spunky with virtually no effort.

Are you able to put your hair up yet? If so, that might help. If you don't like or can't yet do updos, maybe a few braids or a half-up or a peacock twist with a cool hair toy or some funky hair bands would do the trick. Long hair isn't spunky per se, but it IS feminine and versatile, once you get over the major hurdle of gaining length.

Hang in there!! It will be worth it -- take it from one who was where you are not all that long ago!! :grouphug:

[Joette]

I have gone from assorted mid-back lengths to pixie/short and back several times. I agree wholeheartedly that the shoulder to APL region is the hardest to get past. During that part of the growing out process, the headband is my best friend. I have several different styles that I use (trying to stay away from the hard plastic ones with the teeth :ouch:. My favorites this time around were a soft flexible plastic with an elastic that went under my hair at the nape of the neck, followed by the plain cloth circle style headbands. I still didn't feel "put together", exactly, but at least I felt acceptably groomed and it allowed me to basically practice benign neglect, which got me to BSL before I knew it.

It's an awkward length, but hang in there. The payoff (being able to do updos and awesome braids) is so worth it!

[AimeeP]

Hi smilinjen,
I'm new here and am also growing out from pixie and can sympathize. I have consistently received compliments on my haircut and appearance while I've had short hair these last few years so it took me a while to finally commit to growing out again (if it ain't broke don't fix it kind of thing...). Sometimes I am still on the fence about it, but what keeps me going is imagining the end result of beautiful long hair that makes me look and feel very feminine.

The last couple times I grew out from pixie I would wear it up a lot during those awkward phases--maybe you could try a couple different twists or peacock twist with different hairtoys? Even doing that for a few weeks can help since you will see a difference when you let it down again...

Not much help, I know--but I do know how you feel!

[Rusalka]

I dislike not having a style at this length too. I know many hairstyles at longer lengths give me a very well put together look. I've been at loss what to do between "ear" to "past shoulder" stages. I am toughing it out, though, and finding that every month there is something else I can pull off as it gets longer. Short Ketylo hairsticks proved to be amazing at this awkward stage and hold a french twist well (they are twisted hair "sticks"). I am also starting to bun it a bit higher than I would think is chic but for now it has to do. To get the spunk, I will strategically leave pieces out (that would fall out anyway), so it looks more modern.

I also searched for styles at this length, I found several discussions on what works. I have yet to try all the styles mentioned. I can make a messy sock bun, french twist, and Gibson tuck so far.

Happy growing! The longer it gets, the more fun it will be and the more styles you can do :)

[TrudieCat]

I am struggling with the shoulder to APL transition as well. And I have layers I can't quite figure out what to do with. Arrrrgggghhhhh!! But I think this look is in these days - just think about Heidi Klum's long bob (although I don't remember if she still has this look or not). I'm really liking the mini braids around the face that I see in magazines and on some of the stars lately, as a solution for keeping my hair back and still feeling a little fresh. I have been doing a side part with a french braid along my forehead that I either pin back or let fall. I can also ponytail the rest of my hair, or put it in a messy bun with those ouchless elastics if I want the whole thing up. Keeps the hair out of my face and I think it's kind of fun. It also makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere with my hair. If I can't braid the whole thing, at least I can braid some of it! :)

[BrightEyes]

I'm going through the exact same thing right now. My hair is a couple inches past my shoulders and it's starting to drive me crazy. When it was short it always looked "done". It stayed put! Now it gets tangly and stringy minutes after combing. And as it gets longer it stays flatter to my head. On me, that doesn't look very good. I feel like I need some volume. When it was short it was so cute and fun. I actually felt better about everything....silly, I know. It was actually more "me". So I am starting to wonder if I'm just a short hair gal after all.

But.....I've envied long hair my whole life. I've dreamed of long locks, but always told myself I couldn't have long hair because it is so fine. Now I know that fine hair can be long and very beautiful. But it's very hard because now I'm starting to look at pictures of myself with short hair and I'm starting to really miss it. And right now it happens to be at the length that I have always cut in the past.

I keep telling myself to be patient and let it grow, but I'm feeling a terrible itch to cut.......AAHHH!!!!!

[Sammich]

Ughh, those stages between shoulder to apl drove me crazy. I was stuck at that forever from 2005 to 2007/8. Uughhh. :p It was horrible, I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere and it looked so average to me since everyone else seemed stuck at that point!(Eventhough they obviously wanted it at that as a style) :p

[Oskimosa]

ACCESSORIZE!!

If you really want long hair, (which, in all honesty, is NOT for everyone, maybe deep down you don't really want it and that's ok!) then you're going to HAVE to get through this time. You don't need to feel frumpy every day because of it. Seriously get some trendy or colorful headbands; they don't have to be kiddie. Get some nice barrettes.

Look at celebrity styles or google fashion/hair trends for 2010. Long scarves are SO in, tie them around your hair like a headband. You will match your clothes in a funky way and feel put together despite your awkward feeling length.

If life is giving you lemons right now, make lemonade! Make the best of it! Have fun! Or else every single day of your growth journey up until the day you hit your goal will be miserable. Enjoy the journey!!

[breezefaerie]

I'm at the same length you are and feel your pain! One thing I will say is that your avatar pic shows wonderful, wavy beautiful hair. I actually would love to have your hair!
I got through this stage once before and can do it again - we all can!

[smilinjenn71]

WHOA!! Thanks for all the encouraging words, thoughts, opinions and advice!!

I actually *do* wonder if I'm a shortie at heart. I've come to realize that my face shape is round, which is one reason I am hating my hair so much right now. When I wear it up, it's NOT a good look! For a round face, height in the crown is important and bangs that are past chin are imperative! My bangs are at chin, so another few months before I can assess whether I truly like *not* having bangs.

Maybe I will like having my hair long, with the right style...I'm just not there yet. The pic below is a style I am considering to work towards. Since my hair is fine (and I have a lot of it) I'm not really interested in it being all one length. Basically that would look terrible on me and I wouldn't be happy. I'm considering bangs because that would soften my face when I have to wear it up for work.

file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/KENNY&%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot.pnghttp://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii164/smilinjenn71/Ashley_Olsen.jpg


UGH, patience! UGH, decisions! :bigtongue:

[Oskimosa]

Right now I'm on the chunky side of my usual weight fluctuation and I hate updos as well. Try half ups instead, and remember you don't have to wear your hair up if you're not growing to your knees and/or don't have delicate hair.

On a side note, the long lean hair next to your round face can be extremely flattering. Have you tried a wig or using photoshop to see if you even like the look of long hair on yourself?

[smilinjenn71]

Right now I'm on the chunky side of my usual weight fluctuation and I hate updos as well. Try half ups instead, and remember you don't have to wear your hair up if you're not growing to your knees and/or don't have delicate hair.

On a side note, the long lean hair next to your round face can be extremely flattering. Have you tried a wig or using photoshop to see if you even like the look of long hair on yourself?

The only time I wear my hair up is at work and I have to wear it in a half-up, at the very least, so it doesn't bother patients. I used to have BSL hair in High School but that was in the 80's with Big Hair...oh yea! Needless to say styles have changed quite a bit over the years, so I"m not sure how I will like it once it gets longer. I haven't photoshopped but I used taaz.com to try some different styles. Those programs are OK but I really won't know until I take some pics of myself once it's long.

[share801]

Hmm, I know that is a bad length but I wonder if you *are* a shortie at heart. I find short hair miserable - not in the least "fun" on me.

[exchequette]

I have had a pixie a couple of times and I love the ease and simplicity - and I did get called "sassy" a lot!

But yes, that shoulders-to-armpit length is one I know I'm going to have a tough time getting through. Erg.

[Capybara]

If you really love having short hair, I say go for it. It'd be better to have hair that you like :) I know many women who look absolutely stunning with short hair!

That being said, you could always evaluate why you wanted to grow your hair in the first place - did you want to be able to do more styles, or was it because of pressure from outside sources, or something else?

If you're conflicted, maybe you could try a wig to see how you feel with shorter hair, or one to see how you feel with longer hair.

[Lady Mary]

Just one random person's opinion, while I do dig your pixie, I think you look good with your hair pulled back on the photos in your album. You have a pretty face.

[GoddesJourney]

Sounds like you need some layers and maybe some bangs. You can grow them out later if you want, but it sounds like you want long layers in your BSL hair anyway. Shoulder length can be fun if you want it to. Honestly, if you don't care how long it takes you, I would suggest finding a cute style for every length along the way. You don't have to hate your hair until it's long. Live it up, it's your hair!

[Arctic_Mama]

Shoulder to armpit length was the WORST - the MOST damaging and the most awkward. I agree with some of the other posters that sassiness is 90% attitude, how you feel about yourself, and it is understandable that when you are fighting your hair you're not going to haver that particular flavor of self confidence that translates to what you're used to.

The trick is finding your personal groove with your hairstyle. Give it some time to grow, and most women find that longer is more unusual, more versatile, and that the world of hairtoys and accessories opens up whole new doors for fashionable looks. It is less work and more payoff for most of us.

But yes, you are in a very awkward stage, and that is why most women who try to grow their hair long invariably get frustrated and cut. It's easy to take length off, and very hard to get it back (quickly, anyway ;)).

Good luck, I hope you hit your hair stride sooner than later. These bad hairdays, too, shall pass!

[smilinjenn71]

Thank you all so much for your comments and feedback!

I've decided that what I dislike the most is the lack of style. So, I'm getting side swept bangs tomorrow morning. I think that will be *just* enough change and style to keep me growing. :D

I have actually been debating bangs, going on 6 weeks now. The time has come.....

[Amraann]

Thank you all so much for your comments and feedback!

I've decided that what I dislike the most is the lack of style. So, I'm getting side swept bangs tomorrow morning. I think that will be *just* enough change and style to keep me growing. :D

I have actually been debating bangs, going on 6 weeks now. The time has come.....


I think that you have pretty, healthy looking hair.
I do understand the awkward stage...
I like the feel of my long hair on my back so when I was at that stage that is what I focused on.

[Pear Martini]

Cheer up! According to some sources, shoulder length hair is the most flattering length on most women. Elle magazine claims that virtually all of their female staff keep their hair at this length. I guess its "insider knowledge".

Maybe you should try a new color or highlights? Maybe a side swept bang?

[smilinjenn71]

Side swept bangs added today!:cheese:
http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii164/smilinjenn71/DSC00448.jpg

[ItsMyHair]

smilinjenn71, your new bangs look lovely. And, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Every time I get to that point, I end up cutting/trimming and immediately regretting it. I've never had long hair before, so it's uncharted (scary) territory for me.

[smilinjenn71]

Thank you ItsMyHair!

Maybe you need bangs too!:p

I can understand how it would feel somewhat scary since it's never been long before. I hope you make it to all your goals!:flower:

[lemonmelon]

Your bangs look great!

Actually your hair looks very similar to mine, and I definitely feel your pain. I've always found this length to just be a little awkward and it's one of the reasons I've never gotten really long. I hit the shoulder length wall and just want to go back to my cute bob :)

But! I think your bangs really help give it something.

I have a round face too and I've found that the messier the updo the better it looks on me. If you're like me at all, try a messy braid or messy pony with lots of hair left out to frame your face. But it's fun to try up-dos just to change things up a bit, as long as it's not severely pulled back most things work on round faces.

[Merewen]

Those bangs are cute! I hope you find what works for you, short or long.

[breezefaerie]

The bangs are so cute! I hope they help your transition stage.

[smilinjenn71]

Thank you both! Yes, the bangs have helped me to chill a bit. I feel like I have more style now, so I'm very happy with my decision.

[Hana]

Side swept bangs added today!:cheese:
http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii164/smilinjenn71/DSC00448.jpg

looks absolutely lovely. :D

[Toadstool]

You look really pretty with bangs!

[turtlelover]

I wish my hair would do the cute sideswept bangs, but my hair is far too opinionated to cooperate, even when I straighten my hair! It looks so nice on everyone else though that I wish I could pull it off! :)

[BrightEyes]

I love your bangs! They look so good on you. Your hair is so pretty and healthy. Happy growing!:cheese:

[Oskimosa]

I love it! Manderly did them just like that too, it was cute as a button. I hope you are very happy with those bangs.