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View Full Version : Is it just me? I feel weird..



geosangel
April 24th, 2010, 12:06 PM
I am a mom, a cna, and a college student by night. I always make it a habit to sit in the back row at school. I have been a member here for a few months, (long enough to be very careful and have strict guidelines about my own hair care). I have read through enough threads to have a good idea of how "not" to take care of your hair. --Anyway, so I have been sitting in class, looking at the backs of about 30 different heads of hair for each class, and I notice the younger ladies trying to grow long hair, that have a habit of hair flicking at the people behind them, the constant raking through their hair with a comb pulling out lots of hair and gnarls (ugg)..and when they've finally settled down in class to listen and stop "playing with their hair" I can see very evident breakage at different levels, (its not only ladies, in 2 classes there are 2 different gentlemen with what could be beautiful hair if not for combing it wet with sea water straight from the beach and letting it dry..) and I feel bad, because if they knew the damage or could see it, I know they would stop. Then it dawned on me 1 night last week, that I'm sitting in class evaluating all the hair...now not only do I have a conscious about this but I feel kinda weird, like I should keep my eyes to my own hair in a funny sorta sense.:o Granted I would never say anything to anybody as it is their choice and I am far too shy, but I wondered if I am the only one to do this? (they say misery loves company, lol):p

Purdy Bear
April 24th, 2010, 01:42 PM
Iv started to do this in the last few weeks, Iv only been a member of LHC for a short while. I think because Im an Alopecian and now know the importance of hair, I sometimes dont understand how people treat their hair so badly and get away with it.

I can also now appreciate really well kept hair.

spidermom
April 24th, 2010, 01:44 PM
In my first couple of years at LHC, I looked at all the hair around me everywhere I went and even hair typed people. Now I'm mostly oblivious again.

Unofficial_Rose
April 24th, 2010, 01:47 PM
It wasn't until I came here that I noticed how damaged people's hair was IRL (and on TV).

Before I hennaed, I didn't realise quite how rough my highlighted hair was, either.

phistash
April 24th, 2010, 01:54 PM
I notice people's damaged hair, also, but I can't say that I care very much. But then, I live in a large city and if I were to make it my mission to inform everyone of the dreadful state of their locks, I would quickly go mad.

Although, for me, what is most noticeable is how a glut of hair products in one's hair makes it look worse than it might really be. I cannot believe how crispy, dry, dirty, and nasty hair looks when it is full of gel, hairspray, etc. But that is personal taste, so I keep my opinion to myself (and besides, many of the people sporting this look think my hair looks damaged because it is natural, and the ends aren't all even).

Also, I hate when girls flip their hair onto the people behind them. That is very rude and disrespectful.

Siava
April 24th, 2010, 01:56 PM
You are not weird at all. During A&P there was a man that sat in front of me that would've had absolutely gorgeous hair had it not been sun-bleached (he's an avid surfer). Naturally blonde, curly, and APL, but frizzy, brittle, and dry as all get out.

There's also a woman I work with that has waist-length hair. She blowdries it every morning and has highlights. The length is wonderful, of course, but it's so dry looking and lacks shine/luster. I never say anything though. It's not my place.

So yea, you're not the only one checking out people's hair. ;)

chopandchange
April 24th, 2010, 02:01 PM
I think most of us do this after joining LHC.

The hard part is reminding ourselves not to be hypocrites, because most of us probably had hair that used to look like that before we came here! At least, I know I did, so whenever I find myself mentally criticising someone for having dry, split, parched, bleached and damaged hair, I stop and think: wait a minute. Mine used to be like that, too.:o

It's not their fault they haven't discovered LHC yet!

Amraann
April 24th, 2010, 02:14 PM
I have always noticed hair because I come from a long line of cosmetologists.

Unless it was a close friend or the topic just came up I do not think I would mention it.
Probably if you just complimented their hair the topic would maybe flow naturally?
Then you could tell them about LHC!

I do that whenever I get into a hair conversation with someone.

Tornerose
April 24th, 2010, 03:38 PM
It wasn't until I came here that I noticed how damaged people's hair was IRL (and on TV).
I have the exact same experience. I used to envy people their hair (the colour, the texture, the lenght, the thickness, the whatever), but now mine is WAY better :wannabe:

geosangel
April 24th, 2010, 03:38 PM
well, good. At least its not me:p. My hair is still very short and my ends are damaged from color still, so I would never say anything to anyone else. On a funny note..my psych professor asked me what he could recommend to a friend for hair growth. I mentioned the monistat thing, and he did not know what it was originally for..during class he kept mentioning monistat and everyone was giggling at him, lol..the girl that sits next to me did ask me what I was doing different to my hair because it is growing fast and has doubled in thickness, so I told her to come here and read for awhile...;)

EtherealOde
April 24th, 2010, 04:15 PM
I think most of us do this after joining LHC.

The hard part is reminding ourselves not to be hypocrites, because most of us probably had hair that used to look like that before we came here! At least, I know I did, so whenever I find myself mentally criticising someone for having dry, split, parched, bleached and damaged hair, I stop and think: wait a minute. Mine used to be like that, too.:o

It's not their fault they haven't discovered LHC yet!

So very true, that is me all over! And I am still growing out damage that I was responsible for, probably will be for the next year and a half. So who am I to judge? But if they ask, well then, I am free to dispense all the great advice I have learned here. :D And I usually tell them about this website. Though I don't know if anyone I mentioned it to actually visited, or joined, I always hope they will. The more people that know about how to take care of their hair properly the better.

I just wish I could get my youngest daughter here. She does terrible things to her hair and needs to cut it to shoulder length regularly because it looks too damaged past that length. And she won't use the right things on my granddaughter's hair (like no-metal elastics, good brushes and combs, safe hair clips) either, so in spite of having wonderful hair naturally she is always having to get her hair cut to her shoulders too and she isn't even 5 yet!!!:( Her hair gets brushed to remove snarls every morning so she has a lot of breakage, it almost makes me cry sometimes. I tried to tell her to use gentle methods, more conditioner, and perhaps try braiding at night, and she says that just takes too much time. My daughter loves long hair, but because of the way she treats her hair and her daughter's, they won't ever have it.

I do what I can when I have my grandbaby over though, I do gentle detangling, use conditioner on her hair and have even used Fox's conditioning butter recipe on her hair. She likes getting her hair done in braids and pretty clips, so I think there is hope for her someday.

BlueMuse
April 24th, 2010, 04:50 PM
I usually don't notice hair damage. I've actively looked, and even at one woman who was talking about how damaged her hair was, and I just couldn't really see it. Unless someone has had a bleach job or a perm go dramatically wrong, hair condition just doesn't stick out to me. I guess I'm lucky?

Also, I know I probably have some breakage because I like gaudy hair clips and sticks and some of them tangle. Also, I brush my hair when wet (because it's impossible dry) and combs and tangle far worse for me than a brush does. But eh, it's ok, it's my hair and if it really gets to bothering me I'll do something.

(I have gone to shampooing every other day and conditioning every day though, which has made my hair tons softer)

Siava
April 24th, 2010, 04:53 PM
well, good. At least its not me:p. My hair is still very short and my ends are damaged from color still, so I would never say anything to anyone else. On a funny note..my psych professor asked me what he could recommend to a friend for hair growth. I mentioned the monistat thing, and he did not know what it was originally for..during class he kept mentioning monistat and everyone was giggling at him, lol..the girl that sits next to me did ask me what I was doing different to my hair because it is growing fast and has doubled in thickness, so I told her to come here and read for awhile...;)

Excellent! The more the merrier. :)

dropinthebucket
April 24th, 2010, 05:40 PM
I shouldn't say this - ok, i'm not gonna - but i wanna - aaagh, what to do? - ok, there's just no way to put this delicately - sometimes i sit in the back of the class when we have a film (i teach), and i swear, if i have to spend even one more term with my female students' butt cracks (from their low riders that ride *all the way down* when they sit) so very, very visible, or my male students' soiled-looking underwear ('cause "they keep their pants so low it's like they're going' for a swim" -Train) - i'm gonna hurl. I never even notice their hair!

You are to be commended for noticing the hair, instead of the butts! (yeah, claps for you!) :D - seriously, i wouldn't feel guilty about it. :)

p.s., i do have students who don't dress this way - i just wonder if the ones who do know what it looks like from behind??

MOOBUG
April 24th, 2010, 06:38 PM
I know just how you feel! I was at a wedding yesterday and was examining the haor of the two women in front of me at the church. It was really interesting because the one was a very fashionable looking girl who had her hair straightened (and quite obviously does so very regularly) and had dreadful damage to the ends of her layers! I sat there with this weird urge to find a pair of scissors and trim the damage off! I almost told her about the damage and wanted to advise her to go have a cut, but i figured that might be rude.

The other girl had hair just past her shoulders, natural colour im pretty sure, and was so healthy, shiny and gorgeous with the beautiful natural curls.

I thought it was pretty ironic because she obviously had done absolutely nothing to 'do' her hair for the occasion but looked great, whereas the other one had this awful fried mess on the back of her head.

Flynn
April 24th, 2010, 07:51 PM
I noticed for a while how much better everyone else's hair was than mine (which looked dull, lacklustre, and downright boring to me... turns out 'cones and sulfates aren't friends with my hair, and it can take hair a couple of months to settle into a conefree routine!) I'm more than a bit over it now.

What does get me, though, and always has, is careless hair combing in public. No-one wants to be flicked by your hair! No-one wants all your stupid breakage and shed all over their stuff! I have my own shed, and DBF's to worry about, I don't want yours too! Graaaaaah!

Flynn
April 24th, 2010, 07:58 PM
I shouldn't say this - ok, i'm not gonna - but i wanna - aaagh, what to do? - ok, there's just no way to put this delicately - sometimes i sit in the back of the class when we have a film (i teach), and i swear, if i have to spend even one more term with my female students' butt cracks (from their low riders that ride *all the way down* when they sit) so very, very visible, or my male students' soiled-looking underwear ('cause "they keep their pants so low it's like they're going' for a swim" -Train) - i'm gonna hurl. I never even notice their hair!

You are to be commended for noticing the hair, instead of the butts! (yeah, claps for you!) :D - seriously, i wouldn't feel guilty about it. :)

p.s., i do have students who don't dress this way - i just wonder if the ones who do know what it looks like from behind??


It drives me insane, 'cause I'm sure I'm one of the perpetrators! It's next to impossible to get jeans that actually fit which are also high enough in the waist that I don't show my knickers or my crack when I sit down! It's them, or those horrible, hot, uncomfortable 1980's armpit-high things, that I can't sit down in at all because they cut in to sensitive bits, rather than being held out by my hip-bones. The only jeans I've ever had that didn't were a pair of Levi's I bought in the US a few years ago... and they have completely worn out. They were cut much higher at the back than the front. Why doesn't everyone do that?

I can't replace them, either; we get different Levi's in Australia to what you get in the US. Here, they are overpriced, low-quality sh it. I can get jeans that are better-constructed from better fabrics for $30-$50 in Jay Jays.

So, I've been sitting in lectures for the past four years with a jumper carefully spread across the hole in the back of the seat, so I won't give the people behind an eyeful.

adiapalic
April 24th, 2010, 10:40 PM
I did this today when I was at work actually. There was a woman and her daughter, and both had tailbone length hair. I was admiring the silvers in the mother's hair, and the natural blonde streaks in the daughters... but I also realized that both had dry hair that appeared to have huge amounts of breakage and damage--but otherwise kept very natural. I almost wanted to tell then about using wooden combs and oils. :o

Their hair reminded me of mine in highschool/Pre-LHC.

Yozhik
April 24th, 2010, 11:14 PM
I do this too! Mostly on the metro, because that's the most public place I'm in regularly.
But I always look around at the other people and try to imagine what their haircare routine might be and how it could be fixed if they were gentler . . . Not that I would ever say anything; it's just interesting to observe.

Also, this gives me a chance to ogle really nice, well-kept hair, which I occasionally spot ;)

ravenreed
April 25th, 2010, 12:04 AM
The only time I really notice someone's hair is when it has lots of split ends that stick out and are really obvious. Other than that, I don't pay much attention.

KittyLost
April 25th, 2010, 03:34 AM
I haven't started to do this.....yet. I'm still too new to everything and I am learning my own hair before looking at others.
HOWEVER...
I do look at people who dye their hair, I do this quite a lot I'm ashamed to say. I work in a store and whenever someone buys a hair dye from me I will look at the dye, then their hair and figure out in my head if the colour will take and if it will suit them. Sometimes I just want to tell them "No, don't do it!" but alas I keep my mouth shut.
I also think about people's hair dye history! For example on my walk to work there was a girl in front of me with tailbone length dark hair that was tinted purple. The hair was straight and the ends were thin which made me think she used hair straighteners quite a lot and also that she had been dying her hair black for a long time before she recently started to put purple in to change the color. Though this was just my opinion, I could be wrong :)

VitaR86
April 25th, 2010, 04:03 AM
I've been here about a week, and I've noticed myself doing this too.

Rhiannon7
April 25th, 2010, 05:30 AM
I've done that! it is funny because i keep doing this same thing, (evaluating other people's hair.) i do it without even thinking. at the market, school, work and even on the bus. and i have even done it while watching movies. it is weird when you realize that you are doing it. (last time i did it was while watching The new Alice in wonderland movie. BTW Alice's hair is so beautiful!

I have also gone up to a couple of women and asked them how they take care of their long hair ( one of them was pale blonde, about TBL and well wavy/frizzy.) she told me she washed with detergent soap, used bleach and chemical color and did not use any type of oil or condish. i told her it was pretty but wanted to tell her to stop the insanity and never again bleach, wash with poo and to please use oil and condish plus deep treatment. that she was abusing her poor hair! but i bit my tongue. :p

rosek
April 25th, 2010, 09:06 AM
I can't replace them, either; we get different Levi's in Australia to what you get in the US. Here, they are overpriced, low-quality sh it. I can get jeans that are better-constructed from better fabrics for $30-$50 in Jay Jays.


/Thread hijack/
Flynn, try Just Jeans. They have sales where its two pairs for $100. Get the mid-rise ones. I have the same problem as you - I have no waist, so high-waisted ones are very uncomfortable. But these are great.
/Un-hijack?/

On a more related note, I do this all the time as well! Except I catagorize what they should do to get better hair ie. stop bleaching, oil etc.

Jezerellica
April 25th, 2010, 09:20 AM
I see my Mom taking not so good care for her BSL hair. I can't say a word, though. I guess bleached white super damaged hair is sad to see. I feel bad for the person, thinking how long it would take to have quality looking hair! Oh yes, and coming here is hazardous for certain! It does encourage hair evaluations!!

dropinthebucket
April 25th, 2010, 09:32 AM
Flynn, you dear sweet thing! that's a great solution!

Out of delicacy, I didn't add that I've also heard the boys commenting on what they see on the girls at the back of the class, and it's not very pretty. I have to say, when I got to do a women's only cultural studies class, we did fashion, and most of the girls said how fed up they were with the Britney-Spears inspired fashion and wanted some good alternatives. Some of them make their own clothes, others buy at the thrift store, and many try to layer the clothes to cover the top of their jeans, like you've been doing. Some love the low riders. One thing we all agreed on, though, is that our supposed power as consumers over the fashion industry is almost nil, and that made us all unhappy!

Ksenia
April 25th, 2010, 11:27 AM
For ages, I had trouble finding trousers that fit. The only place I have a good change of finding ones that fit well is if I can find a Reitman's which carries size 2 petite. When I taught at an elementary school, I got most of my work clothes there. Ricki's also has some decent trousers too but they recently glamour sized everything and so even their 0 is sometimes big on me.

I took up sewing to get around the problem of having to buy trousers which fit over my hips then gaped open at the waist, because anything that fit my waist had to be super-stretchy and would be tight tight over the hips. Clothes these days are made for people with either tiny hips or big waists, and I have a 13" difference between waist and hip measurements. So now I make my own trousers (what was supposed to be the master bedroom in my condo became a study/sewing room instead - in fact my profile pic was taken in front of my sewing desk). They fit perfectly, cost less, are better made, come up high enough to avoid displays of butt-crack, and yet are low enough that I don't feel like an extra from the original Degrassi tv series. If you decide to learn to sew, I say start with simple things, and get yourself good equipment - both a sewing machine and serger.

But back to the original topic, yes, I analyse my students' hair all the time. I was really jealous of this one girl's thick thick SL braids once, until I saw how much damage there was, even at that short length. I'm getting pretty good at determining what haircare routine people follow, and I'm always glad that I don't even own a hair dryer! My hair may have its problems, but it's because it's superfine and not because of anything wrong I'm doing to it.

redneckprincess
April 25th, 2010, 01:07 PM
I didn't read all the replies because I'm on my blackberry phone while my PC is down...but yeah, I find myself evaluating everyones hair when I'm out and about...

Flynn
April 25th, 2010, 07:51 PM
/Thread hijack/
Flynn, try Just Jeans. They have sales where its two pairs for $100. Get the mid-rise ones. I have the same problem as you - I have no waist, so high-waisted ones are very uncomfortable. But these are great.
/Un-hijack?/


( //Hijack continued// Their cuts just aren't right for me. I have big hips, a large-ish backside, and a small waist (10" or 11" difference between hips and waist), and the waistbands on their low- and mid-rise always gape at the back -- like, more than I can compensate for with a belt, and way too much to take darts that are comfortable and not obvious. I often have to take darts in the back of the Jay Jays mid-rise ones, too, but they're not quite as bad.)

Sorry for hijacking!

atlantaz3
April 25th, 2010, 08:42 PM
You're definitely not alone. I work with a lot of women that are coloring to cover up gray and their hair condition could be a lot better. Then there is the lady who goes to the beauty school and bleached to white then light brown and now somewhere in between. She is always complaining about the condition of her hair. I even made an smt treatment for her, but I don't think she tried it. Unless asked I don't give hair advice. I have been bunning my hair for work and got asked twice on Friday how to do it. They were amazed that I could "fork" my hair in about 30 seconds.