Wanna give up!

[kristymarie87]

I had one of those a-line bobs cut in last June. Was all graduated in the back and lond at the front (to my chin).

So after getting it to my shoulders i am seriously thinking of giving up and cutting it.

I have regular trims, but just made the mistake of bleaching it and dying it red! Im now only using manic panic to minimise damage, but obv my roots will be coming though and i dont think the mp will cover them.

The damage is noticable. Like if i blow dry its frizzy and has little bits flicking all over the place. If i straighten it its better, but wont stay straight and has really thinned at the front side burn bits.

I'm using 3mm alot and have keratease necar cream to protect from heat. I stopped straightening everyday and put it up for work. I let it air dry sometimes. When i do straighten i do it on 180 degrees only.

I only comb it now also.

Its not breaking off loads, i get the normal amount of hairs falling out when i wash and i get a trim every 6-8 weeks. I'm taking vitamin b comlpex to help.

I cant not use any heat on it, if i dont it looks messy and trampy and i work for a private medical company in west london so appearance is everything.

Its too short to braid or put in a bun etc.

I know i will regret cutting it but what else can i do?! I just want it took look nice but its so flippy and eeewww!

[Purdy Bear]

I highly recocommend scarves, hats and wigs, if you hair is really bad. That way you can grow any damage out without too much embarrassment.

I'll leave the rest to the other members.

[kristymarie87]

i can deal with a band maybe but im really not a hat person....dont suit me!! And summer is coming so will get all sweaty!!

I think it would be easier if my hair had a style but the layers are short and i can really get anything until they grow out a bit!

GROOOOOOW!

[Kalyca]

i think you should just try to stick it out.. if you cut it you're going to regret it, and go through the awkward stages all over again. you've already made it this far, what good is cutting really gonna do? i'm growing out a bob too and it's getting longer but not quite hitting shoulder. i wanted to cut it for a while because the damaged parts of my hair is just so bad.. but i'm sticking it out. i do anything I can to disguise it until I can cut the damage off. i use rag curlers a lot and like the wave it gives my hair. i also go for halfups and ponytails when i can. i would also maybe try scarves, hats, etc like the above poster mentioned if your work will allow it. maybe invest in a good quality wig if you'd feel more comfortable with that. also little claw clips are good to use when your hair is short like that, you could maybe try to experiment with using those and creating cute styles.

have you tried coconut oil on the damaged bits? or maybe some other oil of your choice. that can help A LOT.

[kristymarie87]

I think i need to stick it out, i just hate this stage and i usually cave in and get it cut! If i had just waited the 4 other times i got it cut imagine how long it would be!!

How do you use rag curlers? I try to curl my hair but its too short and the hair curls all funny!

I use aussies 3 min miracle which is good.

I'm just worried about my brown roots coming through in my red hair! I wonder if the semi red will blend them in more or i will have to go brown which is more damage! ARGH!

Another thing is i dont have it pinned back much because my ears stick out and im very funny about it...oh and i have the worst hair line! Looks as if its receeding!!

[Svenja]

Have you thought about getting some very tiny hair clips and create some wild/funny updos?

[kristymarie87]

i have, i look really young, im 22 and look around 16 so i find when i do that i look like im in school!! I will have to experiment with some new stuff i think!! I do love my claw clip which i lost and now need a new one! And bobby pins are my friend :D

[Svenja]

Embrace the fact that you look younger. I'm almost 31 and get I.D. every time I buy alcohol :lol: - so why not play with looking so much younger and make people look silly when they ask for I.D :D

[kristymarie87]

Ugh i got refused alcohol the other day, even with ID!! Was so annoying! Cant wait till im 40 and look 30 :D But going to a club at 22 trying to look 'sexy' and looking like a 16 yr old is kinda embarrasing! Even my 19 year old cousin (who is about 5 foot tall) looks older than me!! People only realise how old i am when i talk b/c obviously im mature etc.

I definately need to use some hair 'toys'. I may search google for some styles even, but nowhere seems to have nice styles for us inbetween lon and short people!!

Is there a thread with photos of styles or anything like that?? Ive seen articles and photos of updos but my hair is to short atm.

[Svenja]

Have you had a look here? click (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=8235)

Youtube also offers a wide range of videos on short hairstyles. You might want to have a look there, too :)

[Kalyca]

using rag curlers is really easy. you just wrap your hair around the curler and roll up towards the scalp, or as far as you want to go. depends on if you like tight curls or looser curls. there are plenty of tutorials on youtube if you have any trouble with it. i think you should be able to do it with your length. i'm at neck length and dont really have a problem with it.

oh and i second the looking young thing. i'm 20 and i've had a couple people comment saying i look 13.. =/

[kristymarie87]

Wow thats lots! I will have to look when i get home...work blocks videos :d im sure there has to be something on there!

[kristymarie87]

kalyca...yeah sucks when people say that but imagine being mistaken for 25 at 35!! Thanks will check that out on youtube...i need visual help!

[Kalyca]

lol yeah i know what's i always say. it'll be awesome when we're older, like in our 40s and look 10 years younger.

oh and what about mini braids? can you do those yet? if you could do enough and leave them in over night maybe that would give you some nice waves? i haven't tried it yet but it might work.

[kristymarie87]

braids just look like i've crimped my hair, they dont flatter me at all, i think more subtle waves would look nice but my hair just seems to be a load of frizz...so i put 'defrizzing' stuff like serum etc and because i have naturally greasy hair, i look like i havent washed in months!

[Dreams_in_Pink]

if everything else fails, how about a wig similar to your hair color & texture?

I've done that and it saved me lots of heat styling during my awkward short stage. (i also got many compliments too! )

[kristymarie87]

I have a scar across my head...around 13 inches from star to finish...it makes my head quite itchy. So hats and wigs are deff a no no! I do like an alice band, but my head is very sensitive and pushes on my scar so i end up taking it out.

I would love a wig though, could be any length and coulr i want!!

I have extensions for about 2 days!! They pulled on the scar too much :(

[Dreams_in_Pink]

I have a scar across my head...around 13 inches from star to finish...it makes my head quite itchy. So hats and wigs are deff a no no! I do like an alice band, but my head is very sensitive and pushes on my scar so i end up taking it out.

I would love a wig though, could be any length and coulr i want!!

I have extensions for about 2 days!! They pulled on the scar too much :(

is it normal for a scar to itch that much? Have you had it checked by a doctor?

[kristymarie87]

yes, its not new, i've had it for almost 3 years and have had it checked. I suffer from a sensitive scalp anyway so its just a bit worse there. Its not red or inflamed, its just quite big and i have a very greasy scalp!

[Flynn]

If it isn't making you happy, why not just give up and do it "right" next time? What's the point if you're not enjoying it?

That said, though, if you really do want to push on, I'm a fan of overnight oilings before wash-day, and of Joico K-Pak Reconstructor.

[Tovah]

Stick it out!
I had almost the same problem and my hair is still layered.
What saved me was Ojon deep conditioner and stopped using any kind of dryer.
Many of those frizz controllers have cones in them which in the long run can make your hair seem more damaged. Coconut oil works great too as a defrizzer if you only use a microscopic amount.

Yes a claw clip will be your best friend as well as scrunchies. I use a thicker scrunchie and weave my hair through it- it looks very interesting. You can wear a pony tail and bring some wispy hair forward around your face. I seem to always have some finer wispy hairs on the perimeter. If I can wear a pony tail to work (over 60 yrs old) then you can too. It looks neater. I too had the problem of always looking younger-but now I appreciate it as most people think I'm around 40- that's 20 years! My daughter is 29 and people think she is 14, she's not upset by that. Sometimes she works as a bartender for extra cash and it is a good gimick to get more tips as her babyish appearance is a good conversation starter.

On edit: What I ended up doing with the color is to dye it with a demi permanent color close to my natural color. It is not damaging and since it fades, there is no line of demarcation.

BTW, I've been tempted to make the 'cut' several times, but a friend has taught me to say to myself "think about the summer" each time. It works. Nothing is worse than fizzy hair in the summer that is too short to put up.

[kristymarie87]

If it isn't making you happy, why not just give up and do it "right" next time? What's the point if you're not enjoying it?

That said, though, if you really do want to push on, I'm a fan of overnight oilings before wash-day, and of Joico K-Pak Reconstructor.


Its not that it isnt making me 'happy'. It just looks a mess and i need to find out how to getting looking tidy in this inbetween period. Its got allot of layers - i though it would get rid of damage but looks worse! And lacks a style!

[kristymarie87]

Stick it out!
I had almost the same problem and my hair is still layered.
What saved me was Ojon deep conditioner and stopped using any kind of dryer.
Many of those frizz controllers have cones in them which in the long run can make your hair seem more damaged. Coconut oil works great too as a defrizzer if you only use a microscopic amount.

Yes a claw clip will be your best friend as well as scrunchies. I use a thicker scrunchie and weave my hair through it- it looks very interesting. You can wear a pony tail and bring some wispy hair forward around your face. I seem to always have some finer wispy hairs on the perimeter. If I can wear a pony tail to work (over 60 yrs old) then you can too. It looks neater. I too had the problem of always looking younger-but now I appreciate it as most people think I'm around 40- that's 20 years! My daughter is 29 and people think she is 14, she's not upset by that. Sometimes she works as a bartender for extra cash and it is a good gimick to get more tips as her babyish appearance is a good conversation starter.

On edit: What I ended up doing with the color is to dye it with a demi permanent color close to my natural color. It is not damaging and since it fades, there is no line of demarcation.

BTW, I've been tempted to make the 'cut' several times, but a friend has taught me to say to myself "think about the summer" each time. It works. Nothing is worse than fizzy hair in the summer that is too short to put up.

Yeah i do love the claw, and since my hair is heavily layered the front hangs down to hide my ears!

I'm sure i will talk myself out of it, its just sooo hard. I get i should at least stick it out until after the summer as it grows faster!

[Dreams_in_Pink]

yes, its not new, i've had it for almost 3 years and have had it checked. I suffer from a sensitive scalp anyway so its just a bit worse there. Its not red or inflamed, its just quite big and i have a very greasy scalp!

i also have a terribly sensitive scalp. Grease and itching went away after i stopped using sulfate shampoos (those that have sodium laureth sulfate or ammonium laureth sulfate in it) i suggest consulting another doctor because itching scalp is just not normal; it's the sign of an irritated scalp. Or you can try using organic shampoos, they're WAY easier on scalp.

[Flynn]

Its not that it isnt making me 'happy'. It just looks a mess and i need to find out how to getting looking tidy in this inbetween period. Its got allot of layers - i though it would get rid of damage but looks worse! And lacks a style!

In that case, the oiling and the reconstructor really do help smooth my hair down.

To stop further damage, but to let you keep straightening, have you ever tried anything like Rach's version of the guilt-free hair straightening method? (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=37395)

[Demetrue]

Wearing a head band helps hide the demarcation between incoming roots and dyed hair. Keep trying different headband styles till you find one that is comfortable - the ones for young girls are usually too tight on my head, but I found some comfortable thin ones at the drug store.

[FrannyG]

I feel your pain. I've been there. When I did a scandalous bleach job, I was itching to cut every bit of it out, and I did. I had to then live with very short hair for a very long time.

I suggest that you give your hair a lot of moisture treatments, like SMTs, and because of the bleach damage, occasional protein reconstructor treatments, like K-Pak, or something similar. Keep the damaged hair lightly oiled, and keep on using those hairpins or other accessories until you get past this very annoying stage.

Experiment perhaps with pin curls or some other natural way of getting your hair in line.

I might also suggest that eventually you do need to get rid of the damaged hair. So instead of a big chop, consider cutting out 1/2 to 1/3 of your growth every 3 months or so. That way you'll still have growth progress, but you'll be slowly getting rid of your damage.

You will get past this. I promise. :blossom:

[halo_tightens]

It's just an awkward stage -- stick it out! :)

It always sucks to go through that length, I promise. We all went through it. In just a few more months, everything will become much, much easier!

I always made the mistake of cutting when things got too horrible, too. And so, I always had short hair! I finally just pushed through it, knowing that it would be the last time I'd ever have to put up with that. Just hang in there a little longer, and it's done forever! :thumbsup:

[Maddy25]

I grew out the same thing to my collar bone very bleached and damaged a few months ago and gave up and cut it, bad idea! I think you should stick it out and baby it, it will be a lot easier to manage soon and then you wont be starting all over like I am :/

[kristymarie87]

wow sooo many replys!

I'd love to be able to wear a headband because of the regrowth but i have a really horrible hairline....i look terrible!

I think i will stick it out, my next trim is due in may so hopefully it will be longer by the end may and i'll have less layers cut it....well i'll just trim the ones i have.

I heard about getting sulphate free shampoo, i might give that a go, my head only gets itchy if i wear hats and things.

And i'll check out the link too.

Thanks for all replies :D

[xoxophelia]

I grew out the same thing to my collar bone very bleached and damaged a few months ago and gave up and cut it, bad idea! I think you should stick it out and baby it, it will be a lot easier to manage soon and then you wont be starting all over like I am :/

Except you look stunning with your current hair :)

I think if it is seriously getting in the way of your life, cut it and grow out your virgin hair which might be easier with less damage. Or when it is to your shoulders or ponytail length maintain until most of the damage is gone.

[kristymarie87]

my roots are only 0.5 inches long lol, could go that short. I think i will stick it out, but i may have to go brown to do it.

[kristymarie87]

*couldnt go that short

[Toadstool]

CO stopped my frizz!
I use seaweed conditioner. i thought my scalp would be too greasy for CO but it hasn't been at all.

[loralie]

What about pinning it all up? Even if it's just for a couple of months, honestly, my hair wouldn't grow AT ALL when I was blowdrying/straightening it every day. It's just going to get worse. I worked in retail too and I managed to either put it up or dry it on cold with my blowdryer or in front of a fan.

Best of luck with the growing though, I started just below chin length in around October and now I'm around APL!! You can do it, don't give up :D

[Bonkers57]

Yes, it's so much fun :D I remember being carded well into my 30s and it was a trip!


Embrace the fact that yo u look younger. I'm almost 31 and get I.D. every time I buy alcohol :lol: - so why not play with looking so much younger and make people look silly when they ask for I.D :D

[kristymarie87]

What about pinning it all up? Even if it's just for a couple of months, honestly, my hair wouldn't grow AT ALL when I was blowdrying/straightening it every day. It's just going to get worse. I worked in retail too and I managed to either put it up or dry it on cold with my blowdryer or in front of a fan.

Best of luck with the growing though, I started just below chin length in around October and now I'm around APL!! You can do it, don't give up :D

Thats alot of growth.

I'm actually on day 2 of having it up! Im going to let it dry naturally instead and pin it up....i'm hoping it will grow...plus if its up you dont realise how much it grows until its down again!

So yes i am aiming for 2 weeks first and then will extend...mainly because i suffer from headaches so it can get painful.

[Demetrue]

I've been putting jojoba oil on my hair when it is still wet from washing. The oil is really helping to disguise my damaged frizz problem until my hair gets long enough to trim off some of the damage. I also refuse to cut it short again. I will just do mini trims until all the damage grows out.

[lora410]

Sweety if I can grow my hair out from a 2" salon butcher you can do this. Rag curls are a great idea!! until you can french twist or bun it.

[templeofvenus]

personally speaking from my experience recently.......short bob that was layered in at the back I just had the bottom trimmed nothing else for a few onths until its all one length takes a lot of the anguish away that comes from horrid layers growing out all different lengths. Now though I am growing out my fringe aaaagh:confused: hairbands all the time!