My hair is long now and out of style

[SandyStar]

My Mom told me my hair is too long and out of style. She told me to cut it and put layers into it!

I am happy that she thinks it has gotten past usual long into unusually long but I wish she could just respect my decision to grow my hair really long.

I don't care if I am in fashion or not. I like my long hair.

I told her that I like my long hair and I hope I can grow it to knee and my Mom looked horrified and said, "no, no no".

Do any of you have annoying family members who insist you cut your hair? How do you deal with it?

[ArienEllariel]

My mom isn't badgering me about cutting it but she does think it's odd that I want to grow it "really long" i.e. TBL or CL. She also gave me an odd look when I told her I rarely use shampoo. I CO almost all the time. I don't think I've used shampoo in over a month. I guess new ideas are hard for people to accept sometimes.

[Catladyintown]

Sandystar don't worry a lot of moms are like that. My mom is 71 years old and today she said I look like I am 70 because I have long hair. She says I look like the old lady not her. So just take it like a grain of salt.

[ZenGwen]

My family is pretty good about it - probably because they're on the other side of an ocean! They see me every year or so and only have time to say "Oh, look how long your hair is now."

My DBF's parents are quite irritating though. Fine with me having ridiculously long hair, but him? He's a boy! He's their boy! And he has a proper job now, where he has to wear a collared shirt and everything! He shouldn't have more than two inches of hair! Terrible. :rolleyes:

[Alcenaia]

I think long hair is always in style and my mother agrees...I wonder where your mother got the impression that it's unfashionable. Hm. :shrug:

My father likes my hair long, although he sometimes worries that it gets in my way. So I have shown him that I can put it up fast in many different ways, so it will never slow me down, no matter what adventure he and I have planned next (we like to travel).

I wish you luck dealing with such negative words. I may be a little biased, but I think your hair is beautiful and you should grow it as long as you please. :flowers:

[2peasinapod]

My hair's not really long enough for length comments yet, but one family member of mine insists that my natural texture (which is ironically almost exactly liker her natural texture) is "messy" "piecy", "always looked uncombed", and would look so much better "brushed out" so that it's "smoother", "neater" and "finer".

I know it's hard not to have support, but I wouldn't worry about your mom so much. Fashions are always changing, and in a few years, everyone will be getting extensions that don't look half as good as what you have naturally.

You are not here to decorate anyone's world! Your hair looks beautiful as it is, and it's too bad that some people just can't appreciate it.

[CiannaitTrozel]

My famliy is supportive. My father cried when I cut my hair a few years ago. I do have family and close friends though that do find it odd. It's hard for people to get used to I think. The in thing right now is short choppy hair and the long locks throw them for a loop.

[Oskimosa]

Hahaha... tell her she reads too much Cosmo!

But seriously, you can just as easily come back on something she does that's out. Tell her you don't want to have the old mommy bob like she does.

I used to get that alot from co-workers. Family generally doesn't care about my length goal, although my Gramma used to bug me about going back to my natural blonde color. So I guess I'm lucky :p Generally people who didn't like my hair had trashed heat-styled bleached out hair of their own.

[Katze]

It's funny, I don't know about where you live but here long hair 'thrown up' into some kind of bun seems to be very fashionable. Most hair is not longer than BSL, to be sure, and bleached is also very popular, but I feel like I can wear my almost-waist length hair in many different styles and still look 'in style'.

If you WANT to look in style you can do a lot of things to make this happen, most of which have nothing to do with hair. If you don't care, it is also your prerogative to dress exactly the way you want!

[Loreley]

My mum is always angry because of the washes (I live with my parents). She says I should wash it less frequently, only once a week instead of 2-3 times. My hair is greasy and looks like a greasball on the third day after washing. We always argue about that. She mentioned yesterday I shouldn't wash it for a month and it'd clean itself. I can't do that. I tried WO but my scalp was so itchy I washed it the next day with conditioner.
When I told her I'd try CO-ing she said it's insane because conditioner can't make hair cleaner.
And, according to her I spend too much on hair care products. I did when I was a CO washer but I found a cheap SLS and cone-free baby shampoo which works very well. I use far less conditioner than before.
She can't complain about that nowadays. My sister use a shampoo which costs 4 times as much as mine. And her condish is more expensive, too.
My father don't care what I am doing with my hair.
One of my grandma says I'd look much prettier with SL hair. :rolleyes:
Other grandma says never to cut it. :D

[marzipanthecat]

I have an aunt who just says "Get it cut!" because she simply cannot stand long hair (she has her own hair cropped really short, like about 1cm all over). But because she says this to everyone, everyone just ignores her. It is rather tiring to keep hearing it, though.

Most people don't say anything to me about getting it cut, phew!

[naereid]

My mom isn't badgering me about cutting it but she does think it's odd that I want to grow it "really long" i.e. TBL or CL. She also gave me an odd look when I told her I rarely use shampoo. I CO almost all the time. I don't think I've used shampoo in over a month. I guess new ideas are hard for people to accept sometimes.
Ugh, the other day I went shopping with my mom and bought a conditioner and a deep treatment. She wondered why I need two conditioners and why my last shampoo purchase was two months ago, because I should have already spent it by now. I dread telling her about CWC and how I use much less shampoo and much more conditioner nowadays. :grnbiggri She shook her head in a "oh that silly girl" kind of way.

When I had it in a sock bun the other day, she told me it makes no sense to have long hair if you just put it up and stuff it with socks. I told her it was a hurtful comment because I'm happy to be finding out different hairstyles aside from down+ponytail. She agreed and told me she was happy for me too. :o

All in all, she's fine with me growing it out.

[3azza]

Some family members always comment that i should cut it "because short hair suits my face better and is easier to handle". I personally can't see how ShL or BSL is easier to handle than WL or TBL, it's the same for me. My mum like long hair and she supports me in this issue. Where i live long hair is not uncommon, and celebrities always wear extensions to have their hair long and big. The funny thing is that some of those who criticise my hair length end up putting extentsions when they have big occasions so their hair looks good and taht does not make sense to me.

[xoxophelia]

I also think long hair is always in style. Just look at how many people get extensions now. If you look at those "classic hairstyle" things they run on aol or msn for example, you will often see just longish hair with a blunt hemline. I actually don't even understand why somebody would dislike long hair. :)

[Aditi]

My family is very supportive about my growing long hair, my mom just loves my hair and looks for all kinds of oils which helps to make them grow much longer. She keeps harassing me about growing it till Classic or Knee-length but i am the one who freaks out thinking of all that length :D

If your family member keeps on pestering you about your hair and you have answered them million times that you like your hair the way it is then the final solution is to not give their advice any attention afterall its your hair :)

[Purdy Bear]

Id say to your mother, long hair is very much in fashion at the moment! Simple!

When I had hair, I never had a problem with my family, as all are long hair lovers. My aunt however badgered me to have it chopped but I only saw her about once every few years.

I used to get comments from strangers telling me to get my hair cut, and one kid said I had African/American hair because it had a curl in it, ofcourse the hairdresser just loved to want to chop it.

(NB I also got comments that dressing that way wouldnt attract the men cause I wasnt fashionable etc. Iv never been a sheeple, and I dont want to be one either).

[Flynn]

Hahaha, my family is the opposite! I get a trim because the ends are starting to feel awful, mum says "why did you do that? You didn't need a trim!" When I had it short, my grandmothers spent the whole time saying "you looked so much prettier with it long..." Yeah, right. In a hormone-mucked-up, multi-textured frizzball. Ick.

I do just with people would butt out...

[Sunny_side_up]

Mum has always been supportive of whatever look i wanted, she's happy to trim whenever i want and whatever amount- its typically been pretty small:D, but its never been a trouble for her to do mini trims on me. I'd get the 'hrm... that looks nice' when back from the rare salon session and she'd always immediately say she would tidy it up if i wanted a trim to save me going back. She avoids salons.

When living at home dad was the one who always tutted at the hairballs, he's still got great hair for a man nearing mid 50s and its thick and hardly notice any shedding! It was always me, sis & mum who left hair all over the house:rolleyes:. But even though he doesn't generally comment about hair positively or acts like he doesn't give a:monkey: he did say how his big sister had lovely chestnut tumbling waves before bleaching it, making it all frazzled and eventually cutting the lot off to below ear. So in his own way i think he appreciates healthy hair but doesn't admit to it. My sis seems to have gone the way of his sis with a constant need to chop and dye it. He used to endearingly call my hair seaweed! Joker! His was called clown wig:p

[Capybara]

My family members are either supportive, or don't care either way for this. My dad loves long hair, while my mom says it's beautiful but she wouldn't mind if I cut it shorter, while my sisters like it (but again, wouldn't mind if I chopped), and I'm sure my brother hasn't given a second of thought to the matter...:o Men!

The long and short (no pun intended...) of it is, it's your hair. If you like it long, go for it! :blossom:

[FrannyG]

I am 48 and I still deal with family members who think I'd be better with shorter hair. I've come to accept that it's not going to change.

In my opinion, long hair is something that is never in or out of style.

Just be true to yourself and do your best not to let other people's comments get to you. Easier said than done I know, but believe me, with practise, you can do it. :blossom:

And by the way, you have beautiful hair. :)

[Robbi Dehlinger]

My mom tells me I need to also, but she just does not like long hair??

wait until it goes past my thighs:)

[Siava]

Ugh. My mother is always "hinting" at how cute my hair was when it was super short even though I've told her numerous times I'm letting it grow until the cows come home. She's the only one that gives me grief.

[doro357]

I get comments all the time.Just ignore them.
I told my mom I'm going to try to grow my hair to the floor like my grandma. She said "That's good"

[BattahZ]

Just ignore! Be confident in the fact that your hair is lovely, and growing it out is what you want to do. Period!

I'm fortunate to have a mom who loves my hair (our hair, since we have the same color, texture, and thickness) at any length. I chopped it off above shoulder length last summer and she told me it looked great, and now I'm growing it back and she tells me it looks great.

[Sara_1987]

I'm sorry your mother isn't more supportive.

My mom is very nice and loves my hair (it's only BSL though). She always tells me how pretty it is and likes to touch it and she support that I'm growing it long. She tells me not to cut it! I'm only growing it to waist though. She wouldn't like it any more if it was longer than waist, and I honestly don't care for longer than waist-length hair either so luckily my mom and I are on the same wavelength.

[SunDreamer76]

I'm an adult living on my own, so family doesn't have a lot of say so in anything in my life. I respect their opinions, but since I pay my own way... I only have to answer to myself.

I think in spurts - so forgive me if my posts are more bullet point kinda comments.

For those out there whose mothers are giving them flack about long hair. I'm sorry for this, but be grateful you have a mother. Mine died 5 years ago and I'd give anything to have her back telling me to get my hair out of my face! (Oh, I can just HEAR her saying that! :))

My ex-husband didn't like my long hair for whatever reason... but to be honest, he's the only man that I've ever really known that didn't like long hair. I think he just always wanted me to be something I wasn't.

I think most negitive comments come from women and I really do believe it's just jealousy. Occasionally I get compliments from women on my hair (I always make sure to compliment lovely long hair when I see it)... but usually it's a man that will say something.

Most of my friends don't understand why I want to have such long hair. Actually, just this morning I sent an email to my 3 best girls (we email daily) and said "I have an announcement - I've decided to grow my hair to classic length" -- and let's just say they were none too understanding or thrilled with the idea. They all think I'm gonna end up the crazy cat lady with 800 cats, wearing a poncho, and living in a homemade tree house on my property. Maybe I will!!!

All I know is... TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. Every lady who has posted on this string has beautiful hair and should be proud of the effort and care they've taken to maintain sure a precious and rare feature. Best of luck.

[Rapunzal2Be]

Id say to your mother, long hair is very much in fashion at the moment! Simple!

When I had hair, I never had a problem with my family, as all are long hair lovers. My aunt however badgered me to have it chopped but I only saw her about once every few years.

I used to get comments from strangers telling me to get my hair cut, and one kid said I had African/American hair because it had a curl in it, ofcourse the hairdresser just loved to want to chop it.

(NB I also got comments that dressing that way wouldnt attract the men cause I wasnt fashionable etc. Iv never been a sheeple, and I dont want to be one either).

Funny about the long hair = no men comment, because if you watch that show on Bravo called The Millionaire Matchmaker, she tells every girl she sees with short hair that she'll never attract a man. She actually makes girls get extensions in order to go to meet her single men.

Now, I don't believe either extreme - that you'll *never* attract a man for any reason, long hair or short hair included.......BUT, I do actually think there's something to having long hair. All the men that I know, or have talked to on the subject, are attracted to long hair.

Of course, they're not necessarily referring to extreme length, but still, I think to say that long hair is "out of fashion" right now is ridiculous. Even with pop culture, look at MTV's shows - the girls on the Hills all have waist length hair, and almost every female celeb sports extensions more often than not!!

[cocolady]

Long hair is always in style. I agree with Repunzal, if long hair were out of style, hair extensions wouldn't be that popular. Everyone loves long hair.
My mom always loved my hair and was devastated when I chopped it all off years ago.
Now she's really excited that I'm growing it long.

[spidermom]

I guess she thinks you accidentally missed the trend train, and she wants to help you get on board. My DD used to act horrified about my length goal; now she's horrified if I mention cutting it. Sometimes people change their minds. Oh - and my dad went from saying "it looks like a big old mess" to "all that hair is kind of pretty."

Hang in there. Maybe she'll come around.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

ahhh, that's a very annoying situation :(

my mom also disagrees with LHC style haircare routines (WO and CO washing, daily oiling etc) but thankfully, she doesn't force me to cut it. (she hates short hair on me though! she went nuts upon seeing my chopped hair!) She says, "as long as YOU take care of it, i'm fine" :D

[grmn-rpnzl]

I got the same reaction when I was 6 and told my mom I wanted knee length hair, so I did what she told me and tried different hair styles and cuts as well. Some I liked others I hated. I never did make it to my goal sadly. I wished someone would of supported me and taught me to take better care of my hair and not to cut it. My dad says I look better with long hair, I agree.
With LHC I will achieve long hair for life! !

[rags]

Well, I'm in my forties and my parents still make comments occasionally about my hair. They loved it when I chopped it from tailbone to shoulder a few years ago.

My mother thinks it has to be short because it's baby fine. I got it from her, she was always told hers had to be short and has always had it short. So she thinks mine looks so much better short - just like hers!

My father likes long hair; however, he has an almost violent antipathy to wearing it up. He will tell me that I am aging myself 20 years by wearing it in a bun. He says I look matronly and frump, and whatever else he can think of!

I listen for about one comment, and then inform them it is MY hair and I like it. They then hush until the next time. :shrug: I don't let it bother me anymore.

[Bonkers57]

I'm amused by my 13 y/o son who wants me to cut it into a pixie again. Most of the time I put it up in a ponytail on top of my head, which drives him up the wall; says he hates the "pineapple" look! :laugh:

My husband, on the other hand, would be upset if I cut it all off. No one else (family or friends) seem to care either way.

[eiwonob]

A good friend of mine tells me that I look better with shoulder lenght hair - his opinion is biased, he is always likes short haired girls.
Another friend called me "Medusa", in a friendly jking way. I didn't got offended by it, as we were playing basketball and I was running with my then hip hair down!

Anyway, I think what one likes is more important. Nothing like feeling well in your own skin! Like many say, "you are not here to decorate their world".

Sandystar, your hair is gorgeous! :flower:

[Joette]

My mom wasn't terribly thrilled when I told her that I planned to grow my hair long, but when I saw her last summer (she lives in another state) she was complimentary. Now, when I told her that I'd decided to stop coloring she said "Oh, PLEASE don't be one of those women with a long gray ponytail. Yuck!" I laughed and told her no promises and she replied -- I kid you not -- "Well, I'll just have to die then so I won't have to see it!" :shocked: I acted like it was a joke -- I hope it was a joke -- but deep down it hurt. :(

[Igor]

My Mom told me my hair is too long and out of style. She told me to cut it and put layers into it!

Maybe you should point her to the fact that braids at waist length is the absolutely single hottest thing in fashion right now

[MoonDaughter]

My grandma is like that.. she was a hairdresser like forty years ago and she is always buggin' me about my hair. She says my hair should look less damaged and more healthier and shiny if I cut it. I should mention that she is half blind and the week before I met her the last time, a hairdresser complimented the condition, length and health of my hair. I will NOT cut my hair that has recently reached my minigoal; tb.
Fortunally, mum, dad, brother and BF is all nice and supportive. When I was little my dad used to braid my hair every night before going to bed :)
I wish BF would do that for me..

[Arctic_Mama]

I'm pretty sure my family has a laundry list of ways I am 'weird', according to them, and hair length is currently a fairly minor concern. My mom isn't unsupportive, per se, she just thinks long beyond waist or so is getting a bit 'crazy cat lady' for her tastes.

Fortunately I see her rarely, and if she comments she usually keeps it positive. I told her I love my hair really long and so does my husband, and that's that :)

[KBG]

My mom did say that it was "corny" that I'm growing it out but on the whole she's fine with my changes. She's also sure that once I get to waist, I'll buzz it off. Not. This growing is far too excruciating this time. I'm paying maybe too much attention to the process.

My husband is psyched about it and really supportive.

I think my dad (R.I.P.) would cheer me on since he always liked our hair longer and would tease me about my haircuts and experiments.

Fashion cycles around so much that it's better to stick with what you love and what suits you.

[Siava]

By the way, if long hair is so unfashionable then why are so many women getting hair extensions? Ask your mom that. Hmph!

[ASillyKitty]

My parents both hate my hair! They both say it makes me look older. I'm 23! I don't care about looking older, and when I am old, I still don't think I'll care. They always say they want me to have a Dorothy Hamill haircut like they gave me from age 9-12 and it looked awful! No offense Dorothy, but I hate that haircut and I will never ever let my hair get that short again. I've just learned to keep my hair how I like it and not worry about what other people think. I can't imagine what my mother would say if she found out i was washing my hair with bar soap and cider vinegar!

[anemix1005]

My mom was yelling at me yesterday because she says I'm wrong with my decision of growing my hair long, using cone-free products and says that I NEED to cut my hair in order to remove volume, she took a towel then and started rubbing my hair with it in a way that almost hurts :( then I said "Don't do that!" and she looked at my in a horrible way and said: "Anyone who could hear you saying that would think you have really beatiful hair, but you don't, do you think all the famous artists don't use chemicals? your hair looks horrible, now go and style your hair ( I can't tradice exactly what she said but she was saying something like make an updo)"

She was so mean that I almost cried :S why can't she respect my decision and just let me do this? Also it hurts that she wants me to look like "an artist" instead of liking me the way I am. :(

[KBG]

My parents both hate my hair! They both say it makes me look older. I'm 23! I don't care about looking older, and when I am old, I still don't think I'll care. They always say they want me to have a Dorothy Hamill haircut like they gave me from age 9-12 and it looked awful! No offense Dorothy, but I hate that haircut and I will never ever let my hair get that short again. I've just learned to keep my hair how I like it and not worry about what other people think. I can't imagine what my mother would say if she found out i was washing my hair with bar soap and cider vinegar!

:rollin: That was huge back in the day. I remember being bummed that I didn't have the texture for it.

eta: links for those who missed the trend.

http://www.super-hair.net/style-0501.html

http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1669437,00.html

What was it like having the most famous haircut in the world?

Actually, I think Princess Diana probably had the most famous haircut, or Farah Fawcett or Jennifer Aniston. It was very strange because I always had short hair and I always hated my short hair. So I was always trying to find a new style. I would look at magazines and try to find something that I thought was somewhat attractive that I could skate with. It took me two years to get an appointment with Mr. Suga who cut my hair for the Olympics. Who knew? I had no idea that it would be popular.


Read more: http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1669437,00.html#ixzz0lIUXp4jJ

[Sarahmoon]

SandyStar, you have beautiful shiny straight hair and I think the ends might look very thin if you cut layers in it. Additionally it will be harder to make neat looking braids or buns.
The latter I used as argument when my mom told me that my sister told her (:roll:) that I should cut it in layers.

[jera]

How old are you that what your mom's opinion is should make a difference to your hair decisions? :confused: It's your hair and your scalp right? Shouldn't you be able to wear your hair in any style you want?

Am I just too liberal about this? :p

[Euphony]

Just let her know that you are confident enough in yourself that you don't need to go by 'what's in style'; you'll make your own style.

[Blandine]

I confirm what Katze said further up - over here in germany, long hair and updo's are fashionable and stylish. You see many girls and young women with long hair in all varieties, though few who have it longer than BSL. However, few know any sophisticated updo styles beyond ponytail, big hair crab, and wrap and tie with elastic. French braid, maybe.
No one here will tell you you look old with long hair. Long hair is a young ladies thing. You will rather hear you are too old for those girly styles...

[halo_tightens]

They all think I'm gonna end up the crazy cat lady with 800 cats, wearing a poncho, and living in a homemade tree house on my property. Maybe I will!!!

Doesn't this sound like an awesome life?? It does to me... :)

[Frying Pan Paul]

My family members always tell me to cut my hair short. I am comfortable having longer hair and plan to keep it that way. It is annoying to hear people's disapproval.

[Lacus Autumni]

My folks have given up suggesting I change my hair now. They call me an eccentric, tell their friends 'She's just weird - if you look in the shower, it's like a potions lab! Super weird, that's for sure.'

Besides, isn't fashion cyclical? By the time long hair 'comes back in style', you'll be so fashionable everyone will want your hair. And anyway, long hair is classic; like a fine suit, it never really goes out of style.

[Twil]

My family would kill me if I would cut my hair. They are still mourning my sisters bob.

[vindo]

Sandystar don't worry a lot of moms are like that. My mom is 71 years old and today she said I look like I am 70 because I have long hair. She says I look like the old lady not her. So just take it like a grain of salt.

:bigeyes::bigeyes:
Don't old ladies usually have short permed hair?

My family is "accepting" they think its a bit longer than their taste but they don't find it horrible and now I'm to strongheaded to be talked out of it.

Wonder what they will think of my post shed hair :lol:

[Pear Martini]

Funny about the long hair = no men comment, because if you watch that show on Bravo called The Millionaire Matchmaker, she tells every girl she sees with short hair that she'll never attract a man. She actually makes girls get extensions in order to go to meet her single men.

Now, I don't believe either extreme - that you'll *never* attract a man for any reason, long hair or short hair included.......BUT, I do actually think there's something to having long hair. All the men that I know, or have talked to on the subject, are attracted to long hair.

Of course, they're not necessarily referring to extreme length, but still, I think to say that long hair is "out of fashion" right now is ridiculous. Even with pop culture, look at MTV's shows - the girls on the Hills all have waist length hair, and almost every female celeb sports extensions more often than not!!

She also tells every curly haired (and wavy?) girl to straighten her hair because most men prefer straight hair.

[walterSCAN]

My mom was yelling at me yesterday because she says I'm wrong with my decision of growing my hair long, using cone-free products and says that I NEED to cut my hair in order to remove volume, she took a towel then and started rubbing my hair with it in a way that almost hurts :( then I said "Don't do that!" and she looked at my in a horrible way and said: "Anyone who could hear you saying that would think you have really beatiful hair, but you don't, do you think all the famous artists don't use chemicals? your hair looks horrible, now go and style your hair ( I can't tradice exactly what she said but she was saying something like make an updo)"

She was so mean that I almost cried :S why can't she respect my decision and just let me do this? Also it hurts that she wants me to look like "an artist" instead of liking me the way I am. :(

:/ I'm really sorry your mom was acting that way... Mine was like that periodically in the past, so I feel your pain... It really does hurt when someone who should be the one person who loves you no matter what can't seem to accept the person you are. ::hugs::

To the OP: love your hair for what it is and don't listen!! She doesn't have to wear it-- you do-- so you should be happy with it. Now that I'm an adult living on my own, with my mother, I've found the smile and nod method effective, and if that doesn't work, a blank stare or quick change of subject takes care of it.

[anemix1005]

:/ I'm really sorry your mom was acting that way... Mine was like that periodically in the past, so I feel your pain... It really does hurt when someone who should be the one person who loves you no matter what can't seem to accept the person you are. ::hugs::

To the OP: love your hair for what it is and don't listen!! She doesn't have to wear it-- you do-- so you should be happy with it. Now that I'm an adult living on my own, with my mother, I've found the smile and nod method effective, and if that doesn't work, a blank stare or quick change of subject takes care of it.


:o thank you :flower:

[Robbi Dehlinger]

YIKES!

Much as we love our moms, that is not a licensce to let them abuse you??

[Liss]

My mother thinks it has to be short because it's baby fine. I got it from her, she was always told hers had to be short and has always had it short. So she thinks mine looks so much better short - just like hers!

My father likes long hair; however, he has an almost violent antipathy to wearing it up. He will tell me that I am aging myself 20 years by wearing it in a bun. He says I look matronly and frump, and whatever else he can think of!

I think we have the same parents!

This has been on my mind a fair bit lately because I'm moving back to my parents house in a few months and I just don't want to deal with their opinions on my hair.

My mother always wants me to cut it to APL and all the photos I have from when I was younger, it's at APL. Yes, it looks healthy and pretty, etc, but I want it much longer. My mother claims that my hair is too thin and fine to be long. I'm just trying to keep it healthy to hopefully prove to her that waist length and tailbone can look healthy and lovely on my hair.

My plan was to wear it up a lot while living with them so they couldn't see it very often, but then I'm stuck with my father making snide remarks about looking like a frumpy librarian.

I found a solution - my mother also insists on a blunt hemline, so I've been keeping it in a curved hemline. That way when she starts talking about cutting to APL, we can negotiate and get the hemline slowly straightened instead. As for my father, I just remind him that he hasn't changed his style since the 70s so its obvious he knows nothing about fashion.

[Rapunzal2Be]

She also tells every curly haired (and wavy?) girl to straighten her hair because most men prefer straight hair.

Yes, she does. But like I said, I don't buy into the "you must or must not do XY or Z in order to...." argument, I was just saying that it doesn't seem quite accurate to say that long hair isn't in fashion at the moment.

[lynlora]

Long hair is never out of style !!!!!!

[Tovah]

She also tells every curly haired (and wavy?) girl to straighten her hair because most men prefer straight hair.

Someone is out of touch!
My DH absolutely loves it when I let my hair go curly and wild.

[Nae]

Aww man, some moms give all us other moms a bad name.

Wear your hair as you like it and try to ignore her. ((hugs))

[LadyJennifer]

Long hair is timeless in my opinion.

[sneakybea]

My mom also gives me a hard time about my hair, though she doesn't use the "out of style" argument. The way I see it, if you open somebody's yearbook from the '80s, and you look at all the goofy big hairstyles in there and laugh, well, that goofy hair was in style back then. That's why I tend not to worry about styles and trends (except, occasionally, in clothing, which is easier to adjust for such things). Long hair, while less trendy, is more timeless, I feel.

[HintOfMint]

According to the Wall Street Journal, everything is in style.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052748704320104575015141536429662.html

[CaraLynn]

My mom likes it long, but she told me yesterday that I look like an ugly old lady with it up. Oh wells.

[mellie]

Long hair is VERY MUCH in style: look at Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, Pamela Anderson, Alyssa Milano, the list goes on and on....

So sorry to hear about the mean comments that folks are getting from their family! :hugs:

[Elbereth]

My mother does not insist I cut my hair. She just assumes that I will cut it short and start coloring it when I age. It is rather annoying because she does not seem to be able to give one compliment about my hair without ruining it with her vision of the future of my hair.

Nowadays, I just ignore her comments and wear my hair up when around her. There's less to discuss.:D

[oceanwoman111]

That's crazy! Don't listen to anyone who tells you that long hair isn't stunningly beautiful. I learned the hard way that usually the people who encourage you to cut it are the ones who are secretly envious (not your parents) but friends and other family members. When i was doing a lot of gigs, I had my hair to waist. When I cut it above the shoulder, my fans were devastated. :wail: One guy said, "That was your trademark" people would always say "You know the singer with the long hair."

Long hair is never out of style. :wink:

[Alia]

My mom was yelling at me yesterday because she says I'm wrong with my decision of growing my hair long, using cone-free products and says that I NEED to cut my hair in order to remove volume, she took a towel then and started rubbing my hair with it in a way that almost hurts :( then I said "Don't do that!" and she looked at my in a horrible way and said: "Anyone who could hear you saying that would think you have really beatiful hair, but you don't, do you think all the famous artists don't use chemicals? your hair looks horrible, now go and style your hair ( I can't tradice exactly what she said but she was saying something like make an updo)"

She was so mean that I almost cried :S why can't she respect my decision and just let me do this? Also it hurts that she wants me to look like "an artist" instead of liking me the way I am. :(

Wow. That was uncalled for. And cruel. Why in the world does she want you to look like a typical--to her--artist? She should treasure the lovely daughter she has! :grouphug:

[Rhiannon7]

Congrats on your growth, lovely hair. live there! I've been out of fashion for 10 years myself! always get the same words, 'your hair is too fine to grow long,' i simply smile and nod, continue with my life. (my sister in law keeps telling me to get layers! i shudder.) i simply ask her to cut her hiplength hair, and she leaves me alone. it's a mom thing, i think. mom's, sisters in law who were responsible for you when mom died young, etc. they are doing the best they can and simply follow the usual fashion advice.

Just strange since long hair is in fashion. check the magazines and see, most of the adds have models with long hair, not the kind of long we have here at TLHC but at least BSL or waist. I want the same, knee length if posible but will cheer for joy if it gets below Classic.

Just be patient, smile and encourage your mom to take a flip at the magazines. she'll understand in time your dreams and may even help you grow your hair as long as it will grow.

[spidermom]

My mom was yelling at me yesterday because she says I'm wrong with my decision of growing my hair long, using cone-free products and says that I NEED to cut my hair in order to remove volume, she took a towel then and started rubbing my hair with it in a way that almost hurts :( then I said "Don't do that!" and she looked at my in a horrible way and said: "Anyone who could hear you saying that would think you have really beatiful hair, but you don't, do you think all the famous artists don't use chemicals? your hair looks horrible, now go and style your hair ( I can't tradice exactly what she said but she was saying something like make an updo)"

She was so mean that I almost cried :S why can't she respect my decision and just let me do this? Also it hurts that she wants me to look like "an artist" instead of liking me the way I am. :(

This kind of abuse makes me really-really sad. I'm so sorry, anemix. If you're old enough to take care of it by yourself - and you are - then you're old enough to decide how to style it yourself. Unfortunately, parents have a lot of power when they're providing for you, and it might make your life a lot more pleasant if you can find a way to compromise with her such as have your hair in an up-do when you're around her. Some day you'll be out on your own, and your mom will no longer get a vote.

[GlassEyes]

Though my mother and my mom's side of the family either like/don't care about my hair, both my fathers' sides are...iffy about it. My grandmother told me at christmas to not let it get any longer and that it was at 'a perfect length', and my aunt on my other father's side asked me if I wanted to get my hair cut to be more 'clean cut'.

I'm rather happy to ignore them.

[Gingevere]

1) Long hair actually is in fashion. Seriously, my trend-loving cousin and all her rich friends all have BSL+ hair.

2) Healthy, beautiful hair is always in fashion anyway, no matter the length.

3) Who cares?

Just ignore you mother! I know some people have a hard time with this, but if my mom ever said that to me (which she wouldn't), I would tell her to find some other way to occupy her time that doesn't involve criticizing me. Lucky for me, I don't have any family or friends that harrass me about my hair. Probably only a handful of them think long hair is weird, too. But that could be because I hang out with hippie types. Well, they're not hippies, but they're very accepting, non-judgmental people. And if my mom ever did say something about the length of my hair, I would just show her a picture of herself 40 years ago. Now there's some long hair! :D

[Jeni]

I'm pretty lucky I guess when it comes to family opinions on my hair.

Mom- doesn't care as long as I'm happy, She trims it for me but besides that she doesn't really say much about it except "its shiny" which I will happily take!
Step dad- LOVES long hair
Dad- haven't seen him in awhile but he's not one to care

Dad's family- they are the most vocal about my hair. I get comments from one of my aunts and my grandmother usually to the affect of "Wow, your hair is long..." or "So....how long are you going to grow your hair???" This translates into: "Your hair is too long and you really need to cut it now!"

Luckily for me my family has long ago figured out that unless their opinion jives with mine I don't want to hear it and unless they want to start a fight (which they don't because I will verbally b***h slap them happily) they will keep their mouths shut.

[Milou]

Hey girls... do what you want with your hair... and sometimes you can play with them... I use ponytails, combs... alice bands... love this brand, have a look
<Moderation delete>

[little_acorn]

[quote=Milou;1059692]Hey girls... do what you want with your hair... and sometimes you can play with them... I use ponytails, combs... alice bands... love this brand, have a look
<moderation delete>

Looks like

:spam: :spam: :spam:

[Flynn]

So do their other three posts.

[Yozhik]

^ Wow, first spammer I've encountered!

Back to the thread -- OP, your hair is so pretty! Please don't be too upset by your mother's comments, and keep growing, since you're growing your hair for yourself.

My mother is pretty supportive of my long hair goal, but she got really annoyed when I visited her recently and S&D'ed in front of her . . . I think she thought I was showing some obsessive-compulsive tendencies, because immediately she started telling me how she had liked it when I was 6 and had a boy haircut! Jeez . . . I guess the key is not to share too many of your personal hair care routines with others, because they'll think it's weird or unhealthy :(

Anyway, we love your long hair, so keep growing it! :flower:

[Rivanariko]

hm, back on topic then...

My family doesn't seem to really care either way about my hair. My mom is amused at my trying to grow my hair long because she "couldn't" grow hers and we have the same kind of hair. Her sister used to have classic length hair, but stole all of the thick hair genes. My dad loves my hair and is so glad that I like it long. My brother had long hair until about a year ago when he decided that he needed some major change in his life. My dad hasn't cut his hair since he retired in July

[RecklessCharlie]

My mum has always loved my hair long and is in fact growing her own out after years of keeping it chin length! My dad thinks my long hair is "awesome." :)
Also, I believe long hair transcends what is 'in style'.
If you love it and its healthy, it is the perfect style for you!

[Alun]

My mum doesn't like long hair atall. I used to think it was because I'm a guy, but eventually I realised that she doesn't like long hair on anyone, male or female, young or old. Oh, well.

Age and fashion don't come into it for her, except as excuses. If it's not in fashion I should get up to date, but if it is in fashion I shouldn't follow the crowd. When I was young I should get it cut to look more mature, and now I should cut it because I should grow up. None of this can be taken seriously, when the reasons are matched to the desired result.

[anemix1005]

Wow. That was uncalled for. And cruel. Why in the world does she want you to look like a typical--to her--artist? She should treasure the lovely daughter she has! :grouphug:


Thank you :o that was really sweet to hear:)

[anemix1005]

This kind of abuse makes me really-really sad. I'm so sorry, anemix. If you're old enough to take care of it by yourself - and you are - then you're old enough to decide how to style it yourself. Unfortunately, parents have a lot of power when they're providing for you, and it might make your life a lot more pleasant if you can find a way to compromise with her such as have your hair in an up-do when you're around her. Some day you'll be out on your own, and your mom will no longer get a vote.

Heh :p actually I'm looking forward to the day when I can live on my own, but here where live, women don't leave their parents house until they get married ... I hate this, but I think I must be the one who breaks this rule, because I'm not sure I want to get married. And the updo idea sounds good! :D I prefer to wear my hair down, but maybe if she sees what I can do with my hair, she'll think in a different way (: btw, she has short hair * kind of .. pixie?* and has been coloring since she was 20 or something like that ... so you can have an idea of how different we are ... heh :rolleyes:

[Henrietta]

I see I am not alone with the problem with family.

My mom never had long hair so she doesn't understand me at all. And she wants me to cut it because taking care of it is too expensive in her opinion. Every expensive things, like BBB or coconut oil I buy for my own money. But saying this doesn't help.

My dad wants me to cut my hair because I loose strands, and there's a lot of my hair on the floor. Great reason for cutting hair. If it was short, I would loose it too.

Any my cousin wants me to cut my hair really, really bad, as she wants to have the longest hair in our family. Haha. She wishes to.

And I heard sth interesting few weeks ago- if someone has long hair, it's only because their don't know what else to do with the hair. And there's so much different haircuts, like bob... etc., etc.
Some people won't understand the idea of having long hair.

[elliebean184]

I have the same problem! My mom thinks long hair is juvenile and that I can't be "grown up" until I cut my hair like hers! (Hillary Clinton hair....)
Funny thing is, that's exactly how she cut my hair when I was little- it wasn't until I was grown up that I grew it out.
I love her (and her silliness) dearly, but I'm glad DH loves my hair long and curly.

[VanillaTresses]

Long hair is never out of style! :D (In my opinion!)

Yep, I have had family members tell me all sorts of things about my hair: Too long, too short, too red (when I had it dyed). In retrospect, all they were doing was letting me know that I was not within the socially acceptable limits within their eyes.

I think that a certain range is recognized as "socially acceptable" and if you are at the fringe of or outside of that range then you are going to hear some flack about it. I have learned to grow a harder skin and just do whatever I want... because after all, it is my hair, and my life! :)

[Hana]

what i find weird is how accepting my mum is, rather than scathing. its a BOOM moment that she does sometimes that always knocks me for six because i never ever expect it. shes rather firm, almost blunt with her comments in that way, she doesnt do the whole, cooing, "oh, its gooorrrrgeous" sort of compliments that most women do. just ask her if your boobs look good in that and she'll take a swift look and emphatically say "Yes/No." and you just cant question it. just like all mothers, shes always right, too.

every so often i tell her what im doing with my hair, and she says, "thank god for that." (referring to the old bad stuff i used to do). which makes me go all googly-eyed. Mum? what the hell? since when...? i remember a few months ago, we went to see my gran in hospital. 1st time my gran had seen my hair air dried, not straightened in years. my gran said, "oh, look at your hair, all curly." i said, "I know, I've stopped using the blowfrier and my GHD's" (i think i mentioned coconut oil as well). and my mum says "Good. I cant believe what you used to to do your hair. You dont need it. " Just, boom, y'know, i dunno how else to explain it.

She did it last week as well when i was talking about burts bees products. i said i was looking for natural products without chemicals in, wanted to try some burts bees stuff, and had she heard of them? and she said "oh, i bought some of that stuff for your grandma last christmas. good stuff, that". i was all, my brain hurts! Mind. Blown. i wouldnt have been surprised if a question mark had lit up above my head.

GAH. shes a fecking oracle, that woman.

even my dad does it too. he goes a little misty-eyed about when i was younger and had classic length hair, and he used to love to gently COOL, LOW SETTING blow dry it for me if my hair had been washed before bed time. its quite sweet really, he always talks about how thick my hair used to be. dad! it still is! hes chuffed im growing my hair again. :D

[Amraann]

I am sorry for those of you with difficult families.

Amenix what your mother did was totally not right! I have a 20 yo daughter and I would not do that to her.

I do not have a mother but my aunt (who is a hairdresser) loves my hair. Oddly enough she is always on my cousin (her daughter) about cutting her hair or coloring it.
My cousin is in her 40's and is never happy with her hair. Every time she gets a little length and it looks pretty she messes it up.

Most of my friends love my hair. Except one who always tells me that it needs a trim.
I had her trim it once and she was soooo very careful to not trim to much.

My other friend asked me once if I was going to ever cut it short and before I could even answer my husband said "NO!"
He loves my long hair and has no problem with weird items in the bathroom.
He will even ask before using honey or vinegar in the kitchen to make sure that I do not need it for my hair.

[Maverick494]

My mom was yelling at me yesterday because she says I'm wrong with my decision of growing my hair long, using cone-free products and says that I NEED to cut my hair in order to remove volume, she took a towel then and started rubbing my hair with it in a way that almost hurts :( then I said "Don't do that!" and she looked at my in a horrible way and said: "Anyone who could hear you saying that would think you have really beatiful hair, but you don't, do you think all the famous artists don't use chemicals? your hair looks horrible, now go and style your hair ( I can't tradice exactly what she said but she was saying something like make an updo)"

She was so mean that I almost cried :S why can't she respect my decision and just let me do this? Also it hurts that she wants me to look like "an artist" instead of liking me the way I am. :(

Let your mom yammer on. Sorry to hear that though. My mom used to nag me about cutting my hair all the time, because it was at a "meh" length. Now I've got it halfway down my back she seems to like it, but she thinks my goal (waistlong/tailbone) is just strange. She keeps referring to cute cuts she sees on TV or in magazines. Well, whatever, I don't care and neither should you. Your mom should be happy she has a daughter who takes good care of herself!

And next time, don't let her rub your hair dry. She doesn't know a thing ;)

[ButterCream]

I am so sorry about this. And you are clearly not alone about this!
There will alwaysalwaysalways(!!!) be people in this world who thinks *their* meaning of other peoples hair is the right one, the ultimate oppinion that we should listen to.

So the best thing we all can do is to decide within ourselves what we really feel about the matter and stand for it.
That way when someone tells you to "oh, you should TOTALLY do this and that, it would look sooooo much better than just plain long...soooo do ya wanna cut it...short? *rubbing hands*"

Decide what you feel about your hair, and when your mother, or anyone else for that matter let you know what *they* think you should do, you have a reply ready.

I don`t exactly know what is the right thing for you to say, but in my head I would maybe say:

Me: "Do you want me to be happy?"

Mother: "Yes of course, how can you even ask such a thing!"

Me: "Well I am doing this for my self and it makes me happy. When you don`t respect my decision and are constantly on my back pressuring me about this it makes me SAD and not happy. I am a big girl and this is something that is NOT up for discussion, it is my head, my hair and my choice. I shouldn`t even have to DEFEND growing HAIR! I still need your advice in many things in life, I DO, but regarding my own hair I want to decide myself and not do things because of pressure. I am surrounded by pressure everyday, I shouldn`t face it when I come home to my mom too..."

Mother: Well well, I have never...it was just a friendly SUGGESTION, but if this is how you feel about it then, by all means...*silence*.... (<---hopefully, lol)

Lol, ok ok I stretched it a bit,:o but hopefully you can figure all this out. There have been so many great advices from people here that I don`t even know why I am writing this but...
Good luck whatever you decide to do about..your hairDO!:waving: