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GlennaGirl
May 5th, 2008, 08:03 PM
Folks, I've been around here forever but I just don't know if really long hair is for me.

I don't like short hair on me at all. Right now I'm a couple inches above BSL and I think I may just keep it here.

My hair just gets stringier and stringier as it gets longer. I cut a couple inches off a month or so ago and it does look better.

I think I just had all these fantasies about long hair that didn't come true. They will sound silly but I'll list them anyway.

I thought if I had long hair, I'd feel like a princess. But even with longer hair, I'm still just a stay-at-home freelance writer who is undermotivated and takes care of special needs children, living in a place I don't like.

I thought if I had long hair I'd be beautiful, the most beautiful thing ever. But I'm still the same funny-looking person. My features are still too big for my face. My long hair didn't magically make me pretty. I'm still just me.

I thought with very long hair, my husband would be stunned and amazed and would be totally in love with me. But that hasn't really happened either. He's never been stunned by my hair. He hasn't even really noticed.

I thought my hair would seem like "more hair" as it got longer. But it just feels like thin strings. It doesn't grow "out and down," it grows "down and thinner".

No matter how long my hair gets...I'll never be a beautiful fabulous person. I'll still just be me. With stringy hair.

I just wanted to get all this out. I feel like I'm betraying LHC but I may just keep my hair here and keep trimming it and keeping it ultra-healthy.

nastasska
May 5th, 2008, 08:13 PM
You're hair looks beautiful at that length if that's the way you like it best keep it there.

You are a beautiful fabulous person with or without hair:flowers:

It's hard for us to be objective about ourselves I know having had skin problems for 26 years I have no objectivity about myself

Do what makes you happy with your hair that's what it's really all about:grouphug:

Blueglass
May 5th, 2008, 08:14 PM
Nothing wrong with that. Though you do seem depressed. Personally I'd love to be at waist but at least for now, I'm staying at mid back, because I don't have any of my own money and live at home. My mom say mid back enough. Your hair doesn't appear stingy at all.

Neoma
May 5th, 2008, 08:27 PM
GlennaGirl, first of all, you are a fabulous person. Being fabulous doesn't come from external circumstances, such as what we do or where we live or what other people think of us. And it certainly doesn't come from what we look like or how long our hair is.

I'll bet that you could write a list of a dozen things that make you fabulous off the top of your head. Things like kindness, generosity, compassion, creativity... That's the start of my list, but you can borrow it to get you started, if you'd like. :flower:

Your hair looks fabulous, too: healthy and shiny. It may not be long by LHC standards, but it is longer than the American norm.

My goal length is waist, but I play with the idea of keeping it at BSL. I wonder if I "need" my hair to be waist length. I can already do most of the hairstyles that I love, my hair is healthy, and most of my hairtoys work with my current length. Then again, I play with the idea of reaching terminal. Not for anyone else, but because I'd kind of like to see how long it can grow.

No matter which option I choose, I won't get kicked out of LHC. And I'll still be the same person.

Cinnamon Hair
May 5th, 2008, 09:14 PM
GlennaGirl, hate to say it, but it sounds like you were expecting too much from your hair. It's like one of those fashion magazines that are eternally asking "what is your hair doing for you?" Hair is just hair. If you want to keep it at bra-strap until it becomes thick and voluminous go for it. I don't think you are going against LHC wisdom at all.

Silver & Gold
May 5th, 2008, 10:00 PM
I hardly know what to say. Your post just grabbed me. I'm sorry you feel so down right now. But you realize this isn't really about your hair at all. There are some very big issues you need to address that your hair has just been a symbol for.

You take care of special needs children? I love you already. I've taken care of my own special needs daughter for over 22 years now. I love her to death but it's such a job and it can rob your life from you. I say a big fat GOD BLESS YOU to anyone who joins the forces of workers who care for children with special needs. These are underpaid and overworked people in a very unglamorous job. THANK YOU!!! Really and truly from the very bottom of my heart.

I can't address all your other concerns but please don't feel small over what you do.

lirael
May 5th, 2008, 10:03 PM
Your hair looks lovely and thick and shiny at that length. There is no reason to change it if you're happy with it.

Riot Crrl
May 5th, 2008, 10:09 PM
I think if you're a beautiful fabulous person at tailbone, you're a beautiful fabulous person at pixie. Needless to say, I think you're probably a beautiful fabulous person at BSL, but I can't convince you of it if you don't believe it already.

It's just hair. We can take joy in it, and learning about it, and taking care of it, but it won't solve all our problems.

CurlyNinja
May 5th, 2008, 10:16 PM
I agree with what everyone else has said--your hair looks lovely, and the most important thing is that you be happy with it. If being just above BSL makes you happy, well, then, be happy! Hair may be just hair, but I fully sympathize with the desires you projected onto it. I feel that way a lot, myself. I know we sometimes idealize things, and it's not right, but reality checks don't have to be depressing. BSL is a great length, and it looks great on you!! No matter what your length I know you'll always be welcome at the LHC.

Tangles
May 5th, 2008, 10:32 PM
I think all of us would agree that we value health (of the hair and of the person!) and happiness above length. If you maintain your hair at this length for a while, you might find that it begins to grow in thicker, which would only be a bonus; if that doesn't happen, you still have hair longer than the vast majority of women, and incredibly shiny hair at that. Please don't be sad. Plus, realistically, "fairy princess hair" spends most of the day in updos, not flowing around for people to admire.

CrowningGlory
May 5th, 2008, 10:32 PM
I think I just had all these fantasies about long hair that didn't come true. They will sound silly but I'll list them anyway.



No they don't sound silly. I've felt that way too (especially the ones about looking beautiful and feeling like a princess). I've had to realise that my hair can't make me feel good about myself if I don't feel good about myself.

You sound as if life's getting to you at the moment. You have stress in your life and it's not helped by living somewhere you don't like. I don't know if you mean the area or your house but both can be quite depressing. And if you have several children to care for then getting out and making friends and making the most of life can be difficult at times.

It sounds too as if you've come to a decision about your hair and are perhaps mourning the loss of your super long hair dreams. That's okay. Work through it and accept what you can have and feel proud because you do indeed have beautiful hair at BSL.

SHELIAANN1969
May 5th, 2008, 11:02 PM
Glenna, I hope youre feeling a bit better ? Your post was so sad and heartbreaking.

I understand how depressing it is when you hate where you live, is it that you hate the State, the City, the apartment?

Maybe you can make a list of things that you can do to get out of the situation youre in?

Glenna, you seem like a great person from the posts I have read, dont let things get you down, I am thinking of you and sending you happy thoughts.

Katze
May 5th, 2008, 11:15 PM
Glennagirl, some great advice here already. :blossom:

You sound like you're stressed and not getting the praise, attention, appreciation you need. It's natural for us to feel like if we change something in our appearance, our situation will change, even if we know better. I did this with losing weight; at 150 lbs, I was a lean, mean, fightin' machine...and totally unhappy pushing myself to train that hard. I ended up in the hospital with a broken jaw.

It sounds like you need to focus on the things that bring you joy here and now. Maybe getting away for a weekend or even a day, going to a spa, going into nature, getting together with friends who trust and support you, just getting OUT of the rut it sounds like you're in would give you new perspective? Your health and well being is your most precious possession, and no one can ever give that back to you.

As for the hair thing, I hear you. My hair is longer than it's ever been (barely BSL) and the ends are so thin and wispy. I am hoping to keep them, as, with 'cones, they look OK, and get the "thickness" (my hair is not thick) I have at shoulder to move down to BSL. But I long for thick hair that has weight and heft to it. When I look at your pic, I see enviable thickness, NOT stringy hair - I bet you see yourself more harshly than others do.

Your kindness and thoughtfulness come through on this forum and you know you have friends here, if only online, who are fine with your decision to keep your hair where it's at. Seriously.

Go get outside if you can, go for a walk, drink more water, and try to be kind to yourself - treat yourself as if you were a dear friend. :)

peace

Katze

LifeisAdventure
May 6th, 2008, 12:04 AM
You don't sound silly, GlennaGirl, and like Silver and Gold said, just taking care of special needs children makes you a fabulous and amazing person! Not everyone can do that - very few, in fact.

If you love your hair the way it is, then wonderful! No matter the length, color, or style, we will pretty much all still love you here on LHC. But to offer just a little encouragement, or if you think just maybe you'll want to try growing it out again sometime in the future, remember that a LOT of LHCers have admitted getting to and past BSL was a very awkward and frustrating stage. Even my hair which was super fine and seemed to thin as it grew eventually made it to tailbone length and thickened up. There were many many times I just hated the way it looked, thought it was thin and dingy, and it made me so unhappy! Those were the days I threw it up into a ponytail or kerchief and moved on to something else. You can't change your hair in a day, am I right? ;) The point is, you've got to do what makes YOU happy. Whether that is short hair or long hair or NO hair at all, you're doing it for you.

*hugs* I hope you feel better darlin'. Try to remember that no one who helps the needy is lacking in grace or soul! :blossom:

Deborah
May 6th, 2008, 12:23 AM
GlennaGirl,

There is nothing at all wrong with keeping your hair at its' present length. On this list many want super long hair, so that might make you feel like a failure because you cant/don't want to go longer. Your hair IS long, right now. You also have a lovely rich color, and hair that is shiny and appears very soft and silky. Those are all wonderful hair traits!

I'm sorry you are feeling a little down right now. I'll be praying that God brings real peace and joy into your life, and, maybe more importantly, into your heart. :pray: :flower:

Rini
May 6th, 2008, 01:30 AM
Glenna....just want to send you a big hug :grouphug:

YOU are awesome, don't forget it!

Elenna
May 6th, 2008, 01:36 AM
GlennaGirl

BSL is a nice hair length. It is still long. From your pictures, I've always thought that your hair was lovely a rich brown in great condition.

DavidN
May 6th, 2008, 02:53 AM
GlennaGirl, as one of the first people who really made me feel welcome at the LHC shortly after I joined, I cannot thank you enough, and you are a wonderful person with a huge heart.:flowers: In my eyes, your hair looks beautiful, and has lots of shine, and your current length is still fairly long. The important thing is that YOU be most happy with what ever length you choose, and there is NO way that you are betraying the LHC.:grouphug:

n3m3sis42
May 6th, 2008, 03:02 AM
I promise that this is not me trying to talk you into anything, because I think you should keep your hair however you want. :)

...But in your siggy, your hair looks beautiful, and I wish MY braid could be that thick! And also, I think you WILL be a beautiful and fabulous person, with or without long hair! If your husband doesn't notice your hair, that's okay I guess, because some men don't. But I sure hope he notices other awesome things about you!

Dianyla
May 6th, 2008, 03:17 AM
No matter where you go, there you are. :shrug:

Guenever
May 6th, 2008, 03:37 AM
I remember some of your earlier threads - and I'm really sorry that you're having a hard time! :sad
I'm with you on the "longer and stringier" - I'd hoped for more volume down the length as well.. but maintaining sounds like a good idea. I think that I've (finally) made up my mind to do the same..
Please accept a ((hug)) and a wish that you'll feel better :flowers:

Lamb
May 6th, 2008, 04:18 AM
GlennaGirl - you are an intelligent, caring, wise and beautiful woman living a useful, meaningful life, and if you shaved your head or grew your hair to your ankles, this would never change. Just so you know.

AquaViolet1973
May 6th, 2008, 04:47 AM
You are still very much welcome here at LHC, no matter what you do with your hair. I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I think your hair is beautiful, and it is still long. You are a wonderful person. I hope you feel better about your hair, and everything else too. :grouphug:

Unzadi
May 6th, 2008, 04:49 AM
I echo what others have said -- your hair is gorgeous as is. Great shine, beautiful color, and thickness that is sure to be the envy of many. I know I'd love to have such a thick braid.

Princesses often do protect and care for those who look up to them, and as an at home woman, and especially working with special needs children, I'd say that fits the bill. In fact, promote yourself straight to queen. It's hard to see ourselves objectively, but it still holds true; ain't nobody got beautiful like *you* got beautiful. Sometimes it's hard to feel that way when we don't feel appreciated, or are depressed. From your post, it seems like that might be something to look into. Whether it's depression or just the normal blues we all get from time to time.

Either way, know you are appreciated here, and we think you're beautiful and wise and valuable. Beyond legnth or thickness, I think the best goal to reach with hair is the state where it feels right for the person, and if that's the state you've reached, we are very happy for you. What's hair for but to express and please the wearer?

KnightsLady
May 6th, 2008, 06:35 AM
No matter how long my hair gets...I'll never be a beautiful fabulous person. I'll still just be me. With stringy hair.

GlennaGirl,
You're already a beautiful fabulous person, so it's no wonder nothing has changed in the mirror. :D Pity you can't see it. Have you had your eyes checked lately?:p

Amalthea
May 6th, 2008, 06:46 AM
Hugs to you Glenna. We've been around the boards for about the same amount of time, and I've seen enough of your posts to see that you are a thoughtful, articulate person- you are certainly more unique and intriguing than you are giving yourself credit for.

I also don't think any of the meanings you attached to growing your hair are silly at all.

Not to complicate things for you, but I'm not sure that you should stop growing your hair right now. I'm just drawing on my own experiences here, so I don't know if it will apply to you. I've cut my hair (substantially) a couple of times since I started growing it because I was dissatisfied with it or felt like abandoning my old ideals in favor of something new. However, I always go back to growing it out. It is like I only recognize how important it is to me when I don't have it. Not a very admirable quality on my part, but there you have it.

((((hugs))))

jesamyn
May 6th, 2008, 06:58 AM
I can't add a lot to what others have said. What they have said speaks volumes about you as a person. It sounds like you definitely don't need the hair to be fabulous, because you already are! Keep it at whatever length you think suits you best. :grouphug:

Masara
May 6th, 2008, 07:20 AM
You know Glennagirl, you're one of the people whose posts I look for and whose hair development I have always followed closely. (and envied)

I don't think your hopes were silly, I think many of us have a secret "if" vision in our heads, not necessarily to do with hair, it could be weight or skin problems :waving: or more money or a different job, house, other half...... Ideas that start with "if I.....then I would be....." We want (need) to believe that there is more. It's what makes us human.

spidermom
May 6th, 2008, 08:28 AM
Those long hair dreams aren't true? I refuse to believe it! I'm well on my way to being a fairy princess, just like I always wanted.

You have personality plus and are well loved around here. Do what you like with your hair but don't leave us.

Loviatar
May 6th, 2008, 08:37 AM
Come for the hair, but stay for the community. There are plenty of folks here who have chosen to maintain at BSL, or even shorter. It doesnt mean they are not welcome.

Personally I have also decided if my hair looks thin past BSL I will probably maintain, so you're not the only one. However, I dont think your hair looks thin or stringy, so there you go :)

You are a lovely person whatever your hair looks like - but I understand that certain hair dreams are different for everyone. They're certainly not silly and you shouldnt be ashamed of them.

HUgs to you my friend. :flower:

lora410
May 6th, 2008, 08:38 AM
it sounds like you have low self esteem and need to see a counselor or someone to talk to. While our hair can't make us prettier, richer etc it can bring us joy. Maybe you just haven found ways to take care of it as it gets longer? I wouldn't give up on your dream of long hair and BTW your hair is very beautiful on your pict. My hair gets to be a pain in my rump as it gets longer and maybe not as shiny, glossy, or thick as some people here at lhc but that doesn't mean it isn't beautiful in its own right just the way it is.I say embrace your hair the way it is an accepts its flaws as well as it's beauty.I thought my fiancée didn't notice either an d then out of the blue he said I had beautiful hair; so it's not that they don't notice, but they just don't don't express it as much as we look :grouphug: :flower:

KajiKodomo
May 6th, 2008, 08:44 AM
Your hair is beautiful!

My ultimate goal is terminal length, but at any point during I may change my mind, and that's okay. You still have long hair (well, not compared to some around here, of course, but certainly compared to the general public!).

It looks good in your siggy pic, not stringy at all and nice and thick! Maybe there's something in your routine that you could tweak to make your hair appear less stringy to you?

Enjoy your hair, enjoy the length, and feel free to keep experimenting! It's easier to do when you know that if the ends get damaged from an experiment, they will be cut off soon anyhow.

Again, your hair is beautiful!

Arniky
May 6th, 2008, 08:47 AM
keep it long beautiful and healthy

dvas
May 6th, 2008, 09:05 AM
((GlennaGirl)) I'm sorry you are feeling down, but you are probably seeing your hair through the lenses of those feelings. I have always admired your hair! Never has the word "stringy" entered my mind seeing it, either. Beautiful, healthy, shiny, amazing growth....those are the words that come to mind :)

More importantly than the hair, I've always admired the words you share with the community. You are valued here! Please value yourself, too.

saman
May 6th, 2008, 09:52 AM
First of all you have long and beautiful hair.If you keep it in this length it's also long and having healthy long hair in good condition is better than ultra long hair,but it's my idea.You can have this length for a while and you can keep growing it later.It's your hair and you should decide for it but at this length it's also amazing.I really mean it.Don't let negative thoughts bother you.Life is always beautiful and you should look for beautiful things around yourself.You will find them.

GlennaGirl
May 6th, 2008, 10:01 AM
I'm all weepy over these posts...my wise LHCers. I have a full plate today--my little one's class (developmental school) and then a meeting for my middle guy to see what class he can go into next year (communicatively handicapped or mixed special ed) but I will get on the minute I can and answer each post. My heart is full right now. Thank you. :blossom:

Islandgrrl
May 6th, 2008, 10:03 AM
GlennaGirl....I think that your hair is really beautiful just the way it is. So shiny and healthy looking! If you want to keep it where it is, then keep it where it is. As others have mentioned, it's just hair. And you have to be happy with it. Long hair isn't magically going to transform your life. You have to be the one to get joy from it and not worry about what anyone else thinks!

I don't know you, but I know that if you take care of special needs kids you are someone special. Really special. I've been caring for my special needs daughter for 21 years now - she's profoundly disabled both physically and cognitively - I know EXACTLY what it takes.

Make the choice every day to be happy. Find something about your hair to love and love it every day, no matter what anyone else thinks or notices.

embee
May 6th, 2008, 10:54 AM
GlennaGirl, please remember:

Beauty is as beauty does.

What you do is beautiful.

When you are an old lady you'll be able to look back and know you gave it your best. *That* is beautiful. :)

Hugs.

Áine
May 6th, 2008, 11:14 AM
GlennaGirl,

Just do you. You have not betrayed LHC, this place is all about learning how to take care of your hair in the best way possible. Growing it extra long is simply a choice that many people here have chosen to do.

As somebody said previously, hair is just hair. It will do what it does and grow the way it does. Hair is not supposed to be super long, it's not supposed to be cropped short, it's not supposed to be dyed, it's not supposed to be natural. Hair is there and is used, by our own designs, to be a reflection of ourselves and our personalities. Do with it what you will, and do it happily. :flowers:

SarieQ
May 6th, 2008, 11:31 AM
:grouphug: Everyone has already said all the things that I'd wanted to say. I've always admired your hair, and I'm not just saying that! I totally understand what it's like to live in a place I don't like at all and to deal with family issues like you've mentioned in the past. My heart just goes out to you. If you love your hair at this length then that's the length you should have it. I'm so glad that you have something in your life right now the way it makes you the happiest. You are such a wonderful sweet and caring person and I've always admired you. As for feeling ugly and unattractive, we all feel like that about ourselves. We're our own worst critic. As a mom, I know you think your boys are just the most beautiful children in the world--they look just like you! You are beautiful, inside and out!

jojo
May 6th, 2008, 12:05 PM
oh glenna, you sound so down {{hugs}}} to you. You are a beautiful person and a valued member of TLHC, just tie your hair up for now and ignore it. Your main priority is to try and understand and then think of strategies to help you overcome this low self esteem you appear to be having, dont do anything drastic until these issues are put to rest.

Your hair is beautiful and you are a beautiful person, keep reminding yourself of that.

much love sweetheart and i wish you positive thoughts from now on xxx

harpgal
May 6th, 2008, 12:11 PM
When you are an old lady you'll be able to look back and know you gave it your best. *That* is beautiful.
This is very true!

Glenna, there is nothing wrong with maintaining your hair at a certain length. I am about to do the very same thing. Sometimes, a person just needs a breather and staying at one length is wise.

Remember, what you do day to day is very beautiful. I understand all about living in a place that does not bring you happiness. What I do is to look around me at all the small things that are pretty cool.

Take a deep breath, my dear, and carry on. What you do matters!

truepeacenik
May 6th, 2008, 04:30 PM
Glenna, my image of you is one tough cookie making the best of a situation.
That makes you fabulous. I also think your hair is shiny and healthy.
I'll bet you are far more attractive to others than you are to yourself.
Look in the mirror and praise something: does your nose have a cool, quirky not-every-third-face-has-it curve? celebrate that! Have good teeth? Yay!
whatever it is, being different (like having hair beyong your collarbone) is a statement of individual beauty.

Neoma
May 6th, 2008, 06:55 PM
GlennaGirl, please remember:

Beauty is as beauty does.

What you do is beautiful.

When you are an old lady you'll be able to look back and know you gave it your best. *That* is beautiful. :)

Hugs.Heck, now I'm all weepy. embee, you summed it all beautifully in four short, sweet sentences. :flower:

GlennaGirl, I do hope that you're feeling better today. :blossom:

tomm
May 6th, 2008, 09:23 PM
No matter how long my hair gets...I'll never be a beautiful fabulous person. I'll still just be me.
No! No matter how long your hair is, you always will be you - the beautiful, fabulous we have come to know.


I feel like I'm betraying LHC but I may just keep my hair here and keep trimming it and keeping it ultra-healthy.
You could not possibly betray LHC. I know that you care for and respective the members here; how could anyone think of that as a betrayal.

And how could we want anything more than to hear that your hair is healthy.

Be well, GlennaGirl!

ChloeDharma
May 7th, 2008, 05:38 AM
I've not read all the replies but i had to rush to post....

Glenna, i so often wish that others could see themselves through someone elses eyes. You know i think you are a truely beautiful amazing person......from when you first joined this forum you are a star here. You are one of the very significant people that makes this place so lovely to be a member of.

I know from past threads of yours that there are issues with your husband......please stop looking to him to validate you or make you feel good.....it sounds like he never will no matter how you look but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you AT ALL! It shows a defect in him that he can't see whats right in front of his face....a BEAUTIFUL wonderful woman who he should thank his stars every day for being blessed to have met.

In terms of hair.....you are not betraying LHC in the slightest! Would you accuse another member who decided to maintain your length of that? Of course not, you are just being unfairly harsh on yourself. You have beautiful hair, whatever the length.....but i do think you are right to try to sort out your other stuff hun.

:grouphug::smooch:

Sana
May 7th, 2008, 08:06 AM
Aww glennagirl, we all go through phases. I know what you are going through. I guess the toughest part of any journey is to accept ourselves for who we are & be proud of it. I am sure you are very pretty with or without long hair. And if you like having long hair, it will only make you happier to grow it. Just enjoy the process & it's ok if you want to keep your hair at its current length. Just care for it & you will love healthy shiny hair anyday.

Pegasus Marsters
May 7th, 2008, 08:43 AM
Aw Honey, you're really going through a rough time.

Don't expect so much of your hair... it won't make you feel more beautiful until you realise you're already beautiful. It's ok to stay at a certain length but honestly I think your hair looks great. It's so shiny and beautiful in your sig pic ^.^

Babyfine
May 7th, 2008, 09:28 AM
Glennagirl, I think your hair is gorgeous!! I love your color, shine, everything- and to me- your hair does not look thin or stringy at all!!! Believe me.
In fact you make me want to do henna, which I'm scared of.

But I hear ya.
I've been sort of re-evaluation my hair growing goals, too.
I had fantasies, too, of a long braid whipping around, long waist length waves,
Instead I have a skimpy braid and ponytail which I won't wear out., and I don't dare cut a fringe or face framing layers because they take away from the body of my "i" hair making it look even stringier, when it's anything below shoulder length.

I don't like the look no bangs/fringe look on me but I'm trying, I'm trying. Experimenting with different parts,poofs, ect. I'm about ready to give in and get a fringe anyway- but I know I might regret it.
I'm thinking BSL might be the max for me, too, but ya know, that is still long- by most peoples standards.

I'm not saying YOU should stay at BSL- I think your hair is gorgeous- I'm just saying I can really relate to what you are feeling now.

GlennaGirl
May 7th, 2008, 11:06 AM
I just wanted to address some comments here...I have gotten so much out of this thread...you have no idea.

A few people have commented on depression. You are all so RIGHT ON. Good deduction! I do go through depressive cycles. I have been on and off antidepressants throughout my adult years. It's just chemical. Something that runs in my family. I am on ADs right now...started them up again a couple months ago. They help tremendously but events do tend to tip me off anyway. Right now I'm sort of going in circles trying to feel "worthwhile". I know my children need me and I love them so much, they're my very heart, but it's hard sometimes to be on an endless round of therapies (for them)...schools, special classes...negative meetings with the teacher...we just had one...I'll bet that was the tipoff this time around.

You are right about not looking to my husband to validate me. And about insides being more important than outsides. I have been looking to something physical and external and an extension of me to be some sort of great "fixer of all problems" or something. Just like weight loss, as has been pointed out here, it happens and you get there and then it's like, "What? Everything didn't change now?" Deep down I think we sometimes expect it to...

I won't be cutting back or anything right now. I mean I wouldn't go shorter than this, I don't think. I do like long or longer hair. I just do, always have. Maybe I'll just try out some new styles and see if that's a distraction. And I'll try to keep it in a less "responsible" context. My hair of all things is no more responsible for my happiness than my husband is. :heart:

You know, guys, it's funny. I've been on dozens of forums over the years, but this is the one I keep coming back to because it has the best mix of people. The best ideas, the warmest hearts. Just such a beautiful group. (sniff)

Gotta go cry a happy cry, shake myself off and get to work today!!! I love you peeps.

Silver & Gold
May 7th, 2008, 11:35 AM
Right now I'm sort of going in circles trying to feel "worthwhile". I know my children need me and I love them so much, they're my very heart, but it's hard sometimes to be on an endless round of therapies (for them)...schools, special classes...negative meetings with the teacher...we just had one...I'll bet that was the tipoff this time around.

You are preaching to the choir here. I can't tell you how many times negative comments from the professionals had a profound effect on me. I have had to deal with some incredibly insensitive people in my daughter's life and more than a few who I had to learn to stand up to for my daughter's sake. Not an easy thing for me as I'm not big on confrontation . . . I prefer more diplomatic methods but not everyone will be diplomatic.

I do want you to know that it gets better. The worse time for me was when my daughter was school aged . . . my daughter and I were often treated like obstacles to their objectives. Now that she is an adult and goes to an adult day care program the people there are absolutely divine. They love my daughter and they make no bones that they are there to serve her.

The pressure applied during the school years can be very great and they seem to intensify as your child grows older in the school system. But once your children are out of that system your life belongs to you more again. My daughter and our family are so much happier and freer now to do what we choose without having to fulfill an artificial agenda.

So I guess what I'm saying is, hang in there. You're in some of the toughest part right now. If you can just get through this until the children are grown I believe your emotional burden will lesson eventually.

Pegasus Marsters
May 7th, 2008, 11:37 AM
Glennagirl, big hugs to you sweetie. I really hope we've all been of help, I'm here for you if you need to talk.

GlennaGirl
May 7th, 2008, 11:43 AM
You are preaching to the choir here. I can't tell you how many times negative comments from the professionals had a profound effect on me. I have had to deal with some incredibly insensitive people in my daughter's life and more than a few who I had to learn to stand up to for my daughter's sake. Not an easy thing for me as I'm not big on confrontation . . . I prefer more diplomatic methods but not everyone will be diplomatic.

I do want you to know that it gets better. The worse time for me was when my daughter was school aged . . . my daughter and I were often treated like obstacles to their objectives. Now that she is an adult and goes to an adult day care program the people there are absolutely divine. They love my daughter and they make no bones that they are there to serve her.

The pressure applied during the school years can be very great and they seem to intensify as your child grows older in the school system. But once your children are out of that system your life belongs to you more again. My daughter and our family are so much happier and freer now to do what we choose without having to fulfill an artificial agenda.

So I guess what I'm saying is, hang in there. You're in some of the toughest part right now. If you can just get through this until the children are grown I believe your emotional burden will lesson eventually.

Oh, thank God. Thank you, (((silverandgold))). You sound like an absolutely wonderful mommy. Your daughter is very lucky to have you.

GlennaGirl
May 7th, 2008, 11:43 AM
Glennagirl, big hugs to you sweetie. I really hope we've all been of help, I'm here for you if you need to talk.

Oh, my wife checked in. Thank you so much, Pegs.

Pegasus Marsters
May 7th, 2008, 11:50 AM
Oh, my wife checked in. Thank you so much, Pegs.

Of course I did! I take care of all my lovely wives ;)

spidermom
May 7th, 2008, 11:54 AM
Heck - you know, if your goal becomes different from long, longer, longest, perhaps you can free yourself up to do a little blonding at some point; I know you missed that.

GlennaGirl
May 7th, 2008, 12:07 PM
Heck - you know, if your goal becomes different from long, longer, longest, perhaps you can free yourself up to do a little blonding at some point; I know you missed that.

Oh, how funny...I had thought of that.

...

I'm going to try to answer people bit by bit...b/c cramming a whole bunch of "notes" into one long e-mail is really impersonal...and I'm very grateful for everything that has been said here.

Sian100
May 7th, 2008, 12:14 PM
Glenna, I made the same decision as you over a year ago. I now maintain my length at just-below-BSL length. It is in good condition, as I can cut it regularly. I don't regret it at all.

saman
May 8th, 2008, 01:32 PM
I am so happy that you are in a better mood Glenna.My best wishes for you.

Delenn
May 8th, 2008, 01:39 PM
I just wanted to offer some hugs.

GlennaGirl
May 8th, 2008, 02:03 PM
Thanks, everyone. :grouphug:

GlennaGirl
May 8th, 2008, 02:07 PM
I should add that I'm feeling tons better today, and it's due to all the great words, advice and sharing on this thread. I've come back to it and every word has been golden. A real mood-lifter, reality check and virtual hug all in one. And...I actually liked my hair today! Just tried to appreciate it as a small part of my morning routine. That felt good. You know...to have the one little ritual that's more about just "you" and not "the whole rest of the world"--does that make sense?

Thank you so very much.

Neoma
May 8th, 2008, 08:03 PM
I should add that I'm feeling tons better today, and it's due to all the great words, advice and sharing on this thread. I've come back to it and every word has been golden. A real mood-lifter, reality check and virtual hug all in one. And...I actually liked my hair today! Just tried to appreciate it as a small part of my morning routine. That felt good. You know...to have the one little ritual that's more about just "you" and not "the whole rest of the world"--does that make sense?

Thank you so very much.I'm so glad that you're feeling better today, GlennaGirl. :flower:

It makes perfect sense to me. Making an updo is very calming ritual, and it is 100% about me.

Nynaeve
May 10th, 2008, 10:43 AM
Your hair looks beautiful as it is!
If you decide to stay that length, it will look awesome as it is.
Maybe you are just using the wrong routine for your hair as it grows longer, and the stringiness is because of that.
Either way, you had better not be leaving us just because you want to stall hair growth!!!
Grrrrrr.

GlennaGirl
May 10th, 2008, 11:42 AM
Thanks, girls. I'm just going to leave it alone for the time being (well, except for henna touch-ups, anyway). Who knows, after all this griping I may be the one who winds up with floor-length hair. :o I'm glad for all this wonderful input...it's better than the two-week rule for me.

Thank you so very much.

darkwaves
May 10th, 2008, 12:36 PM
Hugs, GlennaGirl - I'm glad you're feeling better... and just wanted to say that your hair always has an amazing shine!

jessie58
May 10th, 2008, 12:51 PM
Hey GlennaGirl, I am just finding this thread. I have always admired you for being such a strong and wonderful mother. I have 4 children without any of the problems that you deal with and I know what a difficult task it must be to have much more on your plate than just regular issues.

Your braid in your siggy is simply gorgeous. It's incredibly thick and shiny. It may not be princess hair but you certainly conduct yourself with as much grace as a princess. :grouphug:

KittyCat
May 10th, 2008, 01:10 PM
I love your honesty. I know what your talking about. When my hair was pixie long I thought I'd be more beautiful and turn heads when my hair was shoulder long. Today my hair is a little past shoulders and I don't feel more beautiful than before. Don't feel forced to grow your hair out ,because your in a long hair community. Maybe when my hair is longer I will cut it back to APL or shoulderlength.Who knows? It's just hair :)

Take care Glenna

GlennaGirl
May 10th, 2008, 05:28 PM
Oh, thank you so much...such wonderful things to say.