Interesting comebacks to repetitive questions

[Lunnafindel]

Do you ever get the urge, after hearing a question a hundred times, to respond with something cutting - just to give variety to your answers?
For example, someone asks you "Is that your real hair?" you just want to say, "No, it's a wig. I'm wearing it for a day just to see how many people will comment on it. Gotcha!"
Hair questions are the ultimate breeding ground for comebacks, because you can walk away, think of the perfect comeback, and then instead of kicking yourself for not having thought of it earlier, you just store it away for use next time. It's an endless series of second chances.
But some of the comebacks I think of aren't the nicest, and the unfortunate questioner has no idea that I'm sick of the "wow! your hair is long!" when s/he gets the, "Really? I totally didn't know! No one's ever told me before!"
So mostly I stick to "Thanks", but sometimes, just sometimes, I want to spice things up and say something a little more...interesting. Anyone else fee the same?

[sally_neuf]

This is interesting!
There is a common comeback here, when someone points out "Oh, you cut your hair?" people 90% of time answers: "no, my head grew..."

[camara]

Hmm, yes, sometimes. But I tend to assume that people just want to be friendly and try to strike up a conversation. When I´m really cranky (it happens, unfortunately) I still try to not say something outright mean. After all, it is new to them that

a)my hair is long
b)DS is so tall
c)I´m doing my own hair...yes, even that braided bun

:lol: I can see where you are coming from, though. Sometimes, just sometimes a cutting remark comes to mind.

[trolleypup]

Absolutely...it took me a long time to really, really understand that all those "stupid" questions weren't 1) stupid to the questioner (well mostly); and 2) both the question and the answer were NEW TO THEM!

Being not such a nice person, I then and now endeavor to at least save the vitriol for those who deserve it, or on my better days, just not bring it out at all. For the vast majority of hair questions (not so much with the disapproval in tolerant San Francisco!), a pleasant thank you or brief explanation is just easiest. After all, it has been years, I think, since I actually had someone who was strongly negative speak to me.

[spidermom]

I'd only use a cutting remark if the same person kept asking the same question in a rude tone of voice like "when are you going to cut all that hair?" (nobody does) Then I'd have to come up with something scathing, like "when are you going to lose that fat belly?"

Otherwise I assume that people mean well or are curious, so I respond politely.

[GoddesJourney]

All the time, but only when it's the same person asking the same question. I start coming up with sarcastic remarks without even thinking about it. Never about hair though.

[princessp]

You should make up some silly cards (like business card/postcard sized) to hand out to those people on such occasions. The content doesn't have to be mean at all, I think this could be really funny (you might even make up some far-fetched story of why/how your hair got so long). Personally, I love satire.

[elina333]

You should make up some silly cards (like business card/postcard sized) to hand out to those people on such occasions. The content doesn't have to be mean at all, I think this could be really funny (you might even make up some far-fetched story of why/how your hair got so long). Personally, I love satire.

Haha what a great idea! :D

[Bast]

Yes, and I have, but that's because I'm an evil wench well trained in the art of sarcasm and bad jokes.

[Nilithyana]

The one I hear the most is, "Locks of Love would love your hair" or something similar. I usually just say, "Yeah they would, too bad it's mine." I smile and say it jokingly, most of the people saying it are familly! Ugh.

Anyone one else have a good come back to that one?

[BelleBot]

Depending on my mood I have answered such questions and observations with rather silly remarks.

Such as
"You've got really long hair."
"Have I? When did that happen?" Then proceed to turn around in circles to try look at my hair from the back.

"Your hair's grown."
"It has a nasty habit of doing that, I keep trying to shrink it in the wash, but it just isn't working." or "Nah, I've just shrunk."

"Your hair's really red."
"Gosh, how odd, it was green this morning."

"Is that all your own hair?"
"No, some of it's actually yours, I steal it from you whilst you sleep."

"Who does you hair for you?"
"The fairies that live in my fingers." or "It sorts itself, no human intervention needed."

"Is your hair real?"
"No, it's a figment of your imagination."

"How do you get it that colour/shiny/straight?"
"Positive thought." "Pixie dust." "Voodoo."

[Blandine]

The one I hear the most is, "Locks of Love would love your hair" or something similar. I usually just say, "Yeah they would, too bad it's mine." I smile and say it jokingly, most of the people saying it are familly! Ugh.

Anyone one else have a good come back to that one?

"Guess where I got that wig from..."

[Kristin]

Depending on my mood I have answered such questions and observations with rather silly remarks.

Such as
"You've got really long hair."
"Have I? When did that happen?" Then proceed to turn around in circles to try look at my hair from the back.

"Your hair's grown."
"It has a nasty habit of doing that, I keep trying to shrink it in the wash, but it just isn't working." or "Nah, I've just shrunk."

"Your hair's really red."
"Gosh, how odd, it was green this morning."

"Is that all your own hair?"
"No, some of it's actually yours, I steal it from you whilst you sleep."

"Who does you hair for you?"
"The fairies that live in my fingers." or "It sorts itself, no human intervention needed."

"Is your hair real?"
"No, it's a figment of your imagination."

"How do you get it that colour/shiny/straight?"
"Positive thought." "Pixie dust." "Voodoo."

I do not have any good comebacks, but I have to say I was literally laughing out loud when I read Bellebot's post. Hilarious! NOW I know what to say when people ask stupid questions.:D

[Speckla]

My latest if it's negative? "Cool" or "Isn't it great?" and I walk away. If it's positive or neutral? "Thanks."

[princessp]

Depending on my mood I have answered such questions and observations with rather silly remarks.

Such as
"You've got really long hair."
"Have I? When did that happen?" Then proceed to turn around in circles to try look at my hair from the back.

"Your hair's grown."
"It has a nasty habit of doing that, I keep trying to shrink it in the wash, but it just isn't working." or "Nah, I've just shrunk."

"Your hair's really red."
"Gosh, how odd, it was green this morning."

"Is that all your own hair?"
"No, some of it's actually yours, I steal it from you whilst you sleep."

"Who does you hair for you?"
"The fairies that live in my fingers." or "It sorts itself, no human intervention needed."

"Is your hair real?"
"No, it's a figment of your imagination."

"How do you get it that colour/shiny/straight?"
"Positive thought." "Pixie dust." "Voodoo."

These are great!:D

[Fireweed]

I love it when someone takes note of my hair. I always say thanks.

[sally_neuf]

Depending on my mood I have answered such questions and observations with rather silly remarks.

Such as
"You've got really long hair."
"Have I? When did that happen?" Then proceed to turn around in circles to try look at my hair from the back.

"Your hair's grown."
"It has a nasty habit of doing that, I keep trying to shrink it in the wash, but it just isn't working." or "Nah, I've just shrunk."

"Your hair's really red."
"Gosh, how odd, it was green this morning."

"Is that all your own hair?"
"No, some of it's actually yours, I steal it from you whilst you sleep."

"Who does you hair for you?"
"The fairies that live in my fingers." or "It sorts itself, no human intervention needed."

"Is your hair real?"
"No, it's a figment of your imagination."

"How do you get it that colour/shiny/straight?"
"Positive thought." "Pixie dust." "Voodoo."
:spitting:
hahaha!! This is way funny!! And there are not that mean.. just funny !

[chopandchange]

I am the sort of person who only thinks of funny things to say after it's too late.

[BelleBot]

Hehe, I'm glad I've provided a few laughs. Feel free to use any of them if you want. The world needs more silliness. Hence why it's always good to think of possible answers to things prior to any comments so you're always prepared. :D

[gmdiaz]

I am going to have to wear my hair down more. . .I don't get these kinds of repetitive questions!

Everybody is so nice to me. Dang, I'll never get to use these great sillies!

[sneakybea]

I don't get many comments (probably because I keep my hair up a lot), but when I do, I never think of anything clever to say. Plus I like to assume the best of people, so unless people say something that is obviously mean, I try not to let the "Captain Obvious" remarks get me down.
To "Your hair is long!!!!" I just say "thank you."
To "Why is your hair so long?" I just say "I like it that way." Usually kids are the ones who ask me that question, and they're satisfied with my answer. For some reason, they seem to understand the concept of personal taste better than adults (or they see me as an authority figure).
To my mom saying "Your hair is long. I could fix that for you," I grab my hair and yell "No, no, no, no, no!!!!" Because she wants a reaction, and might as well get her money's worth. :)

[SophieSpector]

I have a variation of one of yours

"Is that your real hair?" your reply "No, it's a merkin".

[Peter]

If it's not an obviously negative comment then I assume the person means well, e.g. "wow, your hair is really long". I reply with "yeah it is" or "thanks", or to some people "it's getting there :p".

It's been quite a while since I've gotten negative comments but I used to get them very frequently, presumably for being male. The usual stuff, "cut your hair", "hippie", "your hair is gay", etc. Most of the time I just replied with "yeah it is" or "yeah I will" (depending on what they said). I started doing that when I realized that it left them with nothing to say.

On a bad day though, I used to get really annoyed with those remarks. A couple of years ago, there was another long-haired guy that me and a friend used to see a lot. One day, we saw that he had cut his hair, and I mentioned that to my friend. He said "yeah, maybe you should follow suit". I was already having a bad day so I said "hey maybe you should shut the f*** up". He hasn't said a thing since. :D

[Beatnik Guy]

Absolutely...it took me a long time to really, really understand that all those "stupid" questions weren't 1) stupid to the questioner (well mostly); and 2) both the question and the answer were NEW TO THEM!

Exactly! :cool:
"Stupid" words often fall out of people's mouths when they are dumbfounded. :cheese:

[Lunnafindel]

To "Why is your hair so long?" I just say "I like it that way."

Someday I want to come up with a really long elaborate story about why my hair is long..."well, you see, just after I was born, my mother went to a fortune teller to find out my future (she's big on things like that) and she said I would live a life as long and beautiful as my hair. That sounded strange to her at first, but for the next year I had no hair at all and was very sickly and cried all the time. As soon as my hair started growing out, I calmed down and got healthier, so my mother swore she would never cut my hair. Since then, my life has been filled with luck and opportunity and I attribute it all to my golden hair" or something like that... :P

[Tonks]

Someday I want to come up with a really long elaborate story about why my hair is long..."well, you see, just after I was born, my mother went to a fortune teller to find out my future (she's big on things like that) and she said I would live a life as long and beautiful as my hair. That sounded strange to her at first, but for the next year I had no hair at all and was very sickly and cried all the time. As soon as my hair started growing out, I calmed down and got healthier, so my mother swore she would never cut my hair. Since then, my life has been filled with luck and opportunity and I attribute it all to my golden hair" or something like that... :P

That's an amazing story! :P I'd love to see people's reactions if you told them that.

[rosek]

Lunnafindel, thats an excellent story!

My favourite, when I curl my hair in rags, and people ask why my hair is curly (because I curled it, perhaps?) is to say 'I started eating the crusts on my bread.'

Did anyone elses parents tell them if you dont eat your crusts you won't get curly hair? Didn't work on me, I wanted straight hair : ) Unfortunately, most people don't get the joke. They just get really confused.

[Katurday]

Why is your hair so long?
"I AM A PRETTY PRINCESS"

[tralalalara]

My favourite, when I curl my hair in rags, and people ask why my hair is curly (because I curled it, perhaps?) is to say 'I started eating the crusts on my bread.'

Did anyone elses parents tell them if you dont eat your crusts you won't get curly hair? Didn't work on me, I wanted straight hair : ) Unfortunately, most people don't get the joke. They just get really confused.

YES! All the adults in my life told me that as I was growing up!

And it kind of worked? I have a bit of body wave now compared to the pin-straight hair of my childhood. :p

[Fairlight63]

Yes, my mother used to tell me also "eat your crust so that you will have curly hair" LOL It must have worked on me because I eat the crust on my bread, LOL

Today was not a good day for me:( My DH & me was sitting in church before it started & a lady came in & said "Your hair sure is getting long, & went on about how she can't grow out her hair, it gets a little long & she winds up cutting it"
Well, if you know my story my DH isn't too keen on long hair & that set him off on cutting my hair. That I look better with short hair & all. It went on then I told him "Don't worry about my hair".
The last time he told me that he wanted me to cut it before today was last Oct. when we went to visit my sister that I hadn't seen in a long time. She asked me how long my hair was (I had it up in a bun) & I said BSL, well, my DH said I keep trying to get her to cut it. Grrrr I wish that he was more supportive!
I envy you guys that your DH are supportive of your long hair. Mine never says anything about it unless he is telling me to get it cut. :mad:

[SheaLynne]

I haven't had many negative remarks, although the one that made me determined to grow even longer is the one that led me to LHC (thank you, thank you, THANK YOU haircutter person!!!!). She assumed since my hair just "kept getting longer" that I hadn't found a hairdresser yet and I might want to know that she is a hairdresser and would cut it for me (though she assured me that she liked what I do with my hair, etc.). Grrrrrr!

Right now I wear my hair up so much that no one really comments on the length. Most people do not comment at all. But I'm trying to prepare myself for the first Locks of Love suggestion. I think I'm going to just say "Hmmm...you might need to do a little research on them..." and just leave it at that. I really want to educate people about them since I've learned myself that they are not fully what they are portrayed to be, but I think turning it into an argument just makes me a longhair who doesn't want to donate and is bashing a "good" organization because of it. My other response to that would be that I would be glad to donate money or time to good causes, and that I have and do support alot of children's organizations, but that I like my hair how it is. :p (Also, I do have gray sparklies growing in, so they wouldn't take mine anyway!)

[Themyst]

If anyone ever got on me to cut my hair shorter or something, I think I'd just say inquisitively, "Why, would that please you?" (and I'd furrow my brows and **** my head a bit as I said it).

I just can't imagine what they'd say to that, I figure they'd probably just stammer and turn red.

ETA: Well, the dirty word censor starred out my word above, even though it wasn't used as a dirty word. :( Think of a male rooster. :)

ETA2: Hahaha - as opposed to a female rooster! What was I thinking.

[Bronwyn]

Fairlight, every time he comments on it, just tell him that you think he should grow his hair. Or work on some washboard abs or something, or earn more money - see how he feels with that niggling worry in the back of his mind that he's not meeting your expectations!

My unintentional method of dealing with hair comments is to turn into a horrible know-it-all and blather on to them about hair care and why my ends are thin and all my though processes that went into growing out the grey. They do learn not to comment pretty quickly for fear of setting me off again.

I know I'm annoying when I go off on some kind of "No, it's actually like this..." rants. But I often don't notice I'm doing it till it's way too late and their eyes are glazing over!

[-simply Venus-]

I don't have long hair yet, so I don't have people commenting on it, but I know where you're coming from! I'm really short, so when people tell me I'm short sometimes I like to say "Oh my gosh, I never realized, that's crazy!"

[trolleypup]

"Is that your real hair?" your reply "No, it's a merkin".
That's just mean...since so few would have any idea what you are saying to them.

:misskim:

And if someone says:

"So...why are you wearing it there??"

[sibiryachka]

That's just mean...since so few would have any idea what you are saying to them.

:misskim:

And if someone says:

"So...why are you wearing it there??"

I would give them a

[Oskimosa]

Some guy was hitting on me at a bar and said "your hair is preeeeetty."

I said, "OMG, thanks, I grew it all by myself!!"

That's as clever as I've ever been. :o

[Loviatar]

It's not big and it's not clever, but if I get negative comments, the commenter usually gets a sweet smile and a "[male rooster] off". :D

I love the merkin comment. Practically nobody knows what they are these days.

[BelleBot]

I have a variation of one of yours

"Is that your real hair?" your reply "No, it's a merkin".
Haha, genius! :rollin:

[EtherealOde]

Most of the time when people make comments about my hair getting long, or being long, it is an awkward attempt at a comment. So I always try to smile and say thank you, or that it is slowly but surely getting longer.

The asshats who say something completely inappropriate get the snarky comments in return though. People who say such things as "you know, older women really look better in short hair" or 'if you cut your hair you probably would look much younger' get the response "whatever made you think I cared in the slightest for you minding my buisiness?' or 'gee, your opinion on my looks is completely unwelcome, are you always this rude?'

Anyone standing nearby usually gets a chuckle out of the asshat's discomfort, and I just stand there staring at them in a disapproving manner until they walk away, or apoligize. So far, I haven't ever had the need to be vulgar in my replies, as my statements generally make them perfectly aware that I was aware of their rudeness and meanness. Anyone stupid enough to follow that up with an 'I was only trying to help' or other such idiocy gets a repeat of the first comment to help the concept break its way through their obviously thick skull.

There will always be stupid and rude people in the world, but I really believe most comments fall into the awkward attempt to make a compliment category.

[Anje]

The one I hear the most is, "Locks of Love would love your hair" or something similar. I usually just say, "Yeah they would, too bad it's mine." I smile and say it jokingly, most of the people saying it are familly! Ugh.

Anyone one else have a good come back to that one?
I think I'd probably answer something like, "No, they'd probably just throw it away or sell it. That's what they do with most of the hair they get." That tends to be a conversation-starter in its own right, but people need to know that lopping off beautiful hair and sending it to LoL isn't going to help kids with cancer.

[Masara]

I've never had negative comments and I wear my hair up all the time, so nobody is going to comment on the length. When I wear a braid down, someone may say "your hair's getting long" which isn't as stupid a comment as that, because it's usually in a bun, so they really don't know. I just say "yes, it is" and leave it at that.

The comment I do get a lot is "who does your hair?" I do a lot of braided buns and so on and most of my teenage pupils don't know how to do more than a ponytail. If they want a French braid, they go to the hairdresser's. I usually asnwer with either "who do you think?" leaving them to work it out or I tell them that I get up at 5 each morning so I can drop in at the hairdresser's on my way to work. (school starts at 8) Then I raise an eyebrow. That's usually enough.

[PhillyGirl26]

I just say say thank you and let it go

[JenniferNoel]

Heh. I do this all the time - it depends on who the questioner is though. Usually for complete strangers, it's just the classic "thanks", but if it's acquaintances or people who haven't seen my hair down, or friends who I haven't been around in a long time, I think of funky comebacks.