Got a trim and my stylist wants to color my hair.

[yellowchariot]

So I went to see my hairstylist to get a 1" trim off of my ends. The last time I saw her was in November to get a trim. I told her that I try to get a trim every 6 months. She told me that I am suppose to get a trim once every 3 months to optimally reduce damaged ends. I noticed that she had cut her hair very short (to the base of her neck). I had to comment on it. We were making fun of each other as we always do and laughing.

So after she gave me her advice, she made a comment about her "awesome hair" and I said "yeah right, you can see the bleach damage on top, it looks like straw." She laughes and said "Yeah I know!" Then I told her to "wait right here while I go get the cutter, I'm going to bail your hair into a roll of hay" LOL. We both started laughing. I asked her why she cut it from mid-back length. She said to get rid of all of the damage that had been done to it.

I got her to take an inch off of the ends and let my neck hairs grow so I can pull them back as well. One good that that she noticed was my hair is getting fuller/thicker. I told her that I still use Suave LOL. She said "Um. . . Yeah I can tell LOL!"

She wants to color my hair with semi-permanent dye to match the top part of my hair and beard. I asked her "Wouldn't that strip my hair and damage it? Like yours?! lol (I took another shot at her) She said that it would not, because it is a totally different kind of dye that she would use. So I'm not totally sure if I should or not?

Also I asked her some basic questions that I would like your all's opinions on:

1. I told her that I sleep in a braid every night to "protect" my hair. Her response was, "that doesn't protect your hair, because of the constant pulling on it during the night."

2. I mostly keep my hair back in a ponytail. She said "wherever you wear you ponytail most often, that's where you breakage will be." Which does make sense. However my ponytails aren't pulled tight.

3. I told her that I noticed that I had flakes, and she said that I've got dry scalp. So I asked her what kind of shampoo could I used for dry scalp, but I have oily hair?! She recommend a $20 bottle of something, so I didn't even bother to ask the name of it, though she told me what it was. I just forgot haha!


What are some thoughts, ideas, and opinions? Thanks!

[pinchbeck]

Has your hair been coloured thus resulting in different coloured hair? Semi-permanent hair colour doesn't damage hair the way permanent hair colour does.

I agree that sleeping in a braid can be damaging. But, that may not apply to all hair since each head of hair is different.

I agree that pony tails can add stress the the hair line and cause breakage. It is a good idea to switch it up sometimes to give the hair a break.

If you have flakes going on you could try using all natural remedies such as adding neem seed oil, tea tree oil, or rosemary oil to your shampoo. I use unscented shampoo so adding these oils doesn't make my hair smell like swamp water.

I cannot believe you trimmed your hair again! I hope you didn't cut those neck hairs once again. If it were me I would just leave your hair alone and not colour it. Why should your hair match your beard? Having a contrast of different colours adds character to a persons appearance. But...that's my opinion!

[spidermom]

I do agree that a ponytail can be very damaging, especially if you grab the ends and splay them out to make the pony-holder move against the cuticle toward the scalp, commonly called "tightening the ponytail".

As for the braid, I think it would depend on how you do it. I lean forward and braid from the top of my head and then leave my braid arranged above my pillow. I don't pull tightly as I braid, so I really don't see that this is going to "constantly pull during the night".

The usual wisdom is to shampoo for your scalp type, then condition for your hair type. So you might want to use a medicated shampoo or add tea tree oil to your usual shampoo for your scalp, then use a moisturizing conditioner for your ends. As for all the buzz you see around here about CO and WO and SO - I don't buy it. Maybe I should, but I don't.

[Capybara]

1) I guess this could depend on how tightly you braid, and how much you toss and turn (: If it works for you, though, why not braid? It might be damaging to some people, but not to others.

2) I agree that wearing a tight ponytail/braid/bun the exact same way every day can cause damage at the spot that is continually being put under stress, but if you use a metal-free elastic, don't pull too much, etc., I'm sure you'll be fine.

3) Maybe try a shampoo like Tgel or something similar once every week or two, only on the flakey area? That way, the rest of your hair isn't affected, and you don't have to change your routine. BBB always has helped me, too.

About the dye...If our hair is two-toned or something (I've never noticed) and you absolutely hate it, go for it. But, if it doesn't bother you, don't :) My ends and bangs/front of my hair is lighter in the back, more noticeable in real life, yet I don't mind.

Hope this helps :)

[restourceful]

I noticed that when I stopped using SLS shampoo my flakes stopped. Just stopped completely. I scalp wash only now (with a shampoo bar), condition from the ears down with a coney conditioner. My scalp is happy, my length is happy.

I don't agree that you need to trim every three months. If you are trimming to maintain length, ok. But the need to trim for damage is when you have damage. I can go for as much as a year with no trimming and no splits.

Ponytails always banded in the same place can cause breakage. Just vary the spot you pony, and vary the style so you aren't causing stress in the same place all the time.


I have recently started sleeping with my hair loose above my head and over the top of my pillow. This is working really well for me. You could also use a sleep cap or buff or satin/silk pillowcase. I never had sleep damage when my hair was your length.

As far as color? If you don't have to or reeeeeeally want to I wouldn't. Trying to grow that stuff off is a real frustration, at least for me it was. I happen to like your color, and I agree with Pinchbeck that your hair and beard don't have to match.

And then there is :cheese:

[orbiting]

My Fiance used to have horrible flakes...

He uses the Neutrogena T/Gel Daily Control 2 in 1 Dandruff on his hair and beard... his hair is getting thicker (I know, I'm the one who maintains his nearly waist-length hair), the flakes are gone *and* his beard is softer (and redder! He has the whole blond hair/reddish copper beard thing going on) than ever.

As for dying - I've had my hair dyed with ever known box dye I can find and they all made my hair horrible. However, I had it dyed professionally about 3 months ago and it didn't damage my hair (the highlights did a bit, but that was because my hair was bleached out and then dyed hot pink), not as badly or in the way it was when I did it at home...

Yes ponytails can cause breakage for some people. I'm not sure about braiding.

[melikai]

1) Unless you're braiding very tightly, braids don't really pull. The only issue I have with sleeping in a braid is the repeated rubbing along the length of the braid, which is why I stopped sleeping in one. I don't think this would be an issue at your length though?

2) Depends what you're fastening the ponytail with, and whether you always put that elastic at the same spot.

3) Scalp flakes don't necessarily mean dryness. They could indicate a scalp skin condition, like eczema or psoriasis, or an allergy, or a skin reaction like contact dermatitis. There are many things that could cause these things - fragrances, sulphates, other random ingredients both natural and synthetic.

As for dyeing - don't! I think semi-permanent dye still has peroxides in it, just lower levels than permanent dyes. If you have to colour (which I don't see that there is anything at all wrong in how your hair looks now!), go for a deposit-only dye, which doesn't have any of those damaging ingredients.

[kabelaced]

I'm sure the hairstylist meant well, but in the end, you make the decision. The way I see it, if you constantly do damaging things to your hair, you'll definitely need to get more trims if you don't want the damage to accumulate, but if you don't use a hairdryer (which I'm assuming you don't), use minimal (or no) styling products and wear your hair in protective hairstyles, going six months between trims will work fine. If you want to know how long you can go between trims truly, then just wait six months and be vigilant in checking for splits. This hairstylist won't know how you handle your hair and the advice she will give is usually suitable "for everybody," not tailored to your lifestyle.

(Not to sound super serious there! LOL)

I wear my hair in a braid a lot lately, and I haven't noticed more damage when I've slept in it - just that my braid loosens up during the night, but that's all. I recently bought a satin sleep cap that I'm about to try! I'll unbraid my hair and just put it in there. Doesn't seem like there's any harm in that.

My brother's beard doesn't match his hair color (dark blonde hair and reddish beard), but I think it's also kind of a personality quirk. My grandpa has gray-white hair and a very red beard, which also sets him apart. If you're really keen on changing the color, I'd try herbal rinses or maybe even a henna gloss (for a reddish tint - but you should definitely read up on henna before doing this!)

Cheers! :cheese:

[Peter]

...

She wants to color my hair with semi-permanent dye to match the top part of my hair and beard. I asked her "Wouldn't that strip my hair and damage it? Like yours?! lol (I took another shot at her) She said that it would not, because it is a totally different kind of dye that she would use. So I'm not totally sure if I should or not?

Also I asked her some basic questions that I would like your all's opinions on:

1. I told her that I sleep in a braid every night to "protect" my hair. Her response was, "that doesn't protect your hair, because of the constant pulling on it during the night."

2. I mostly keep my hair back in a ponytail. She said "wherever you wear you ponytail most often, that's where you breakage will be." Which does make sense. However my ponytails aren't pulled tight.

3. I told her that I noticed that I had flakes, and she said that I've got dry scalp. So I asked her what kind of shampoo could I used for dry scalp, but I have oily hair?! She recommend a $20 bottle of something, so I didn't even bother to ask the name of it, though she told me what it was. I just forgot haha!


What are some thoughts, ideas, and opinions? Thanks!
Hey man, this is what I think:

I don't think you've ever posted about coloring your hair, so I doubt you're interested in actually doing it. Unless you don't like your hair's natural color, there's no reason to do it IMO.

1. If you do a tight braid, then yes, I agree with her. Constant pulling is a bad thing. Personally, I do a loose braid at night. I don't pull the sections snug, I just weave them around each other. Maybe you could try that?

2. If you wear a ponytail in the same place every day, you might get some breakage from that. Even if you don't pull the hair back tightly, just tying it in the same place daily can cause damage. Also, as someone mentioned above, do not pull the ends outward to slide the hair tie closer to your scalp. Over time it's going to badly damage the cuticle of the hair. I used to do this and it caused a lot of problems.

3. For dry scalp and oily hair, you might want to try CO washing, or even WO. You could also try oiling your scalp but I'm not sure how effective that would be since I've never done it.

[myrrhmaiden]

Roots are the bane of my existence. I say don't bother.

[GoddesJourney]

1. Braiding is not meant to stop your hair from rubbing, it's supposed to stop it from tangling. If it tangles at night, braid it. No big deal. If it doesn't like it, stop.

2. Ponytails are often damaging because of the friction from the hair bands people use. I made little mini scrunchies out of silk for this reason. I honestly hate wearing ponytails because they're uncomfortable and I hate the way they look on me. However, when I did wear them I had damage from my "no damage" elastics. It's the friction when you put them on.

3. It is my opinion that scalps need to be scrubbed with your fingers quite thoroughly to deal with scalp issues. Also, if you're going to shampoo your scalp, you should condition it as well. You can't dry out your scalp like that and not replenish it with anything. Like spidermom says, shampoo may be necessary. I find that I can get away with CO now that I know how to do it properly. You really have to scrub, because the conditioner doesn't get the flakes off as easily as shampoo does. Selenium sulfide products seem to be good for really trouble dandruff/flaky scalp. Head and Shoulders has a dark blue bottle with this ingredient that worked for my husband and I. Use it until the flakes go away and then maybe once every week or two to maintain if it threatens to come back.

ETA: Coloring? Nah, not necessary. Also, it's a trap. After that you have to either color again or grow it out. Lame. And who says hair has to match anyway. People spend hundreds of dollars to give their hair that "lived in" look (which reminds me of pre-worn out jeans, don't get me started :rant:) and here this chick wants to make all your hair the same color? Mother Nature has dyed it for you!

[shadowclaw]

Hey, I just got a 1" trim, too! Well, actually I think it was 1.5", and I did it myself. My hair is so happy that I trimmed. I was getting "velcro ends" which was starting to make all of my hair tangle. Now I am tangle-free!

Everyone's given you lots of great wisdom so far, and mine isn't much different, but here's my two cents:

1. I really do think braids protect hair at night. It keeps mine from turning into a tangled mess, and tangles can lead to damage! So while there may be some tugging in my sleep, I'm still protecting my hair from tangles.

2. She does speak the truth that ponytails can cause damage. Especially if you're using those cheap bands with metal on them. Even so-called ouchless bands can cause breakage if they are wrapped tightly. I prefer scrunchies and other cloth-type hair ties. Unforuntely, the ponytail does have a habit of sliding down, but it's much gentler on the hair.

Furthermore, any hair style can potentially cause damage if you wear it over and over again, because it puts stress on your hair. That's why it's good to switch up your hair styles, so there's less stress.

3. As for a miracle product from your scalp, you'll really just have to experiment until you find the right one. You can try reading reviews online and trying ones that have positive reviews. We have our own little reviews section, too. Or just ask around. There are lots of people here on LHC. I'm sure there are a variety of people who have encountered this issues before and can recommend a product or treatment for you (Sorry, not me, though!)

4. And as for the dye, semi-permanent really isn't too harmful (but it can be to some hair types, I imagine). However, dying your roots to match your length is a very bad habit to get into! Especially if you ever take the plunge into permanent dye. If your roots don't bother you, I'd skip the dye. Besides, semi-permanent can turn into permanent sometimes, but with the color of your hair, I doubt that would be a problem.

[Yozhik]

Everyone else has pretty much said all there is to say to counteract your stylist's advice :)

I would like to add, though, that I, personally, would vote for you to keep your hair color the way it is. I haven't noticed from any of your photos that your hair is different colors -- even if it is, I think that's cool -- it means you have natural highlights!
I would advise against dyeing unless you want to start a higher-maintenance hair-care routine.

[Heidi_234]

Somebody there wanted to make some $$, and it wasn't you. Coloring your hair to match the beard? Oh please! I mean, come on - seriously? 20$ shampoo to get rid of the flakes? As if it would contain some super exclusive kind of SLS which would magically make them stop showing? :?

You should search for flaky scalp in here, there are many reason and many ways to deal with it. Shampoo may effectively clean them out, but if it's your dry scalp to blame, then shampoos only going to make it worse. Just like oily skin requires moisturizer to remain less oily, contrary to common sense, your scalp might need more gentle approach.

About ponytail and braid damage, I think the posters above me covered it pretty nicely. You can vary the position of your pony tail to minimize damage, or even braid start it at time to be able to tie it lower.

[Pierre]

My sideburns are all gray under the henna, my scalp hair is brown with some red streaks, and my midbeard is somewhere in between. No need to make all your hair match.

Wearing ponytails all the time is indeed damaging. I suggest you try a variety of updos. I often have my hair with the ends loose, but above my shoulders so that they don't get caught in bag straps.

For sleeping, I wear a Buff, and usually keep the same updo I wore during the day.

[yellowchariot]

^ I really appreciate everyone's responses! Thank You All!!! :thumbsup:

The last trim I had, was back in November, it was also a 1" trim. At that time I forgot to tell her to leave my neck hairs alone lol. This time I'm growing them out. Now, they can ALMOST fit into a braid or low ponytail.

TBH, I don't think I'm willing to coloring my hair yet. If it was super short, yeah probably. But all of my hair is completely natural. My stylist has been "declaring" that I really should let her color it for 2 years now LOL. In fact, the very first day that I met her, she wanted to!

Last summer I was constantly out in the sun. So I would imagine, that is how I got my lighter tone at the bottom part of my hair.

My hair does tangle at night, however it isn't very tight, but well secured. A braid has always fixed this, and my hair isn't as oily feeling in the morning.

I do wear a ponytail in the same place just about everyday. I use non metal elastics though. Sometimes I do pull it tight or it tends to slide out.

Here is the kind of shampoo I am currently using, and I dig in my scalp with my fingers nails, but I may need something stronger: http://www.suave.com/Professionals-Shampoo-and-Conditioner/Humectant

Here is the type of conditioner I use, I thought I would try something different about 2 weeks ago: http://www.suave.com/professionals-shampoo-conditioner/sleek

I'll check out those products that were previously mentioned in the thread. Also, regarding a note on my scalp/flakes issue, could an outside source such a Ambien 10mg effect this? I started taking it about a month ago (when I really noticed those flakes :suspect: )

[Anje]

I have gotten significant breakage from wearing a daily ponytail with non-metal elastics. I probably did do the tightening thing on it, but I suspect that most of my breakage was simply from doing the same thing in the same place with rather fragile hair. YMMV.

Similarly, I might expect to get some breakage from a nighttime braid with the side hairs, because they're particularly fragile and tend to end up short or split as it is. Braids at night don't help me much, though, since I tend to end up sleeping on top of them; I go the dorky sleep bonnet route instead. Your hair might be more robust, or your sleeping habits different enough that you won't have this issue.

There's a big part of me that thinks "of course your stylist wants to color your hair and have you buy $20 shampoo." That's how they make money, after all.

I don't see dandruff listed as a reported side effect of Ambien, though itchiness (pruritus) and dermatitis are in there are infrequent and rare, respectively. So I'd be more inclined to suspect some other cause. Perhaps your shampoo is too drying, for example? (It has ALS and ALES, both of which are quite harsh.)

[BrightEyes7]

Well... Yes braiding can cause damage. But if you're not braiding it super tight it shouldn't be a problem.

As for the ponytails, I suggest moving it about an inch each day, alternating. One inch up one day, one inch down the next and so on.

I would say no to the dye. Even semi-perm. colors stay in and leave a trace of color forever... If you don't like it growing it out will be a pain. I wish I never dyed my hair, now I'm a slave to coloring!

[Ivy~Rose]

If you don't want to color your hair, don't sweat it. If you'd like it all to be one color, go for it. At any rate, your hair is a billion times healthier than hers.

As far as braiding, I'll just note that I braid mine loosely every night, since I toss, turn, and kick in the night (yay for DH! <3); if I leave it loose, it will strangle me, and be a mess in the morning, needing lotsa damaging combing time. So for my head of hair, braiding is better than leaving it loose.

[cindy58]

Here is the kind of shampoo I am currently using, and I dig in my scalp with my fingers nails, but I may need something stronger: [URL]http://www.suave.com/Professionals-Shampoo-and-Conditioner/Humectant[/URL

Try giving your scalp a good scrubbing with your fingerTIPS rather than the nails. No need to dig. I had a couple of flaky trouble spots just above/behind my ears, and once I began a thorough, gentle scrubbing with fingertips rather than nails when shampooing (any kind of shampoo I have in my cupboard) I noticed an immediate improvement.

I don't think you need to color either -- sounds like a pain to maintain too.