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View Full Version : Blonde envy, I need someone to talk me down!!!



trillcat
April 2nd, 2010, 08:09 AM
I am feeling the itch to bleach again! The weather is getting nice, spring fever is in full swing, and I miss my blonde hair!
I am a natural blonde who turned dark, and then bleached for years and years, pretty much destroying my hair in the process.
My final chemical adventure was to put it back to my natural color, or as close as I could. Took a bit of doing that further hurt my poor hair. Brown dye doesn't like to stick to bleached blonde hair without going all orange as it fades. I did find a demi color that did stick, though it's not supposed to, go figure, eh?
My color is pretty, in the sun it's pure gold (the fake light brown color, not the inch and a half of virgin hair) but indoor light, it looks drab and dull, the roots dont help at all. I had all virgin hair a few years back before I bleached again, the same itch I feel now to go lighter, and I regret it all the time, I would have such long pretty hair now if I did not do that, but here I am again wanting to go light!
Help!
Anyone else get this urge to color, bleach, even though you know it will soooooo hurt your hair?

Aevra
April 2nd, 2010, 08:17 AM
I am feeling the itch to bleach again! The weather is getting nice, spring fever is in full swing, and I miss my blonde hair!
I am a natural blonde who turned dark, and then bleached for years and years, pretty much destroying my hair in the process.
My final chemical adventure was to put it back to my natural color, or as close as I could. Took a bit of doing that further hurt my poor hair. Brown dye doesn't like to skick to bleached blonde hair without going all orange as it fades. I did find a demi color that did stick, though it's not supposed to, go figure, eh?
My color is pretty, in the sun it's pure gold (the fake light brown color, not the inch and a half of virgin hair) but indoor light, it looks drab and dull, the roots dont help at all. I had all virgin hair a few years back before I bleached again, the same itch I feel now to go lighter, and I regret it all the time, I would have such long pretty hair now if I did not do that, but here I am again wanting to go light!
Help!
Anyone else get this urge to color, bleach, even though you know it will soooooo hurt your hair?

There. I've made the most important part of that statement stand out for you.
Don't do it! I never get that itch since I"m red and have never thought about going blonde...but don't destroy your hair with chemicals!

tinkerbellisme
April 2nd, 2010, 08:19 AM
I get the urge to highlight all the time....but just remember...DON'T DO IT, WOMAN! shudder:

atlantaz3
April 2nd, 2010, 08:35 AM
I hit the bottle after growing out - just didn't like my natural hair color. What about going the natural route and getting out in the sunshine? Or if you feel the need to really highlight just do a few face framing strands?

seraphine
April 2nd, 2010, 08:37 AM
I'll tell you... don't do it! I signed up last night in tears because I have WRECKED my once beautiful hair. By applying too much heat ánd dying my hair over and over. These things do not go unpunished.

seraphine
April 2nd, 2010, 08:37 AM
(ps. I meant I signed up to the long hair community forums last night)

Aevra
April 2nd, 2010, 08:44 AM
Welcome Seraphine.
And you're right, heat and dye will kill your hair.

trillcat
April 2nd, 2010, 08:52 AM
I'll tell you... don't do it! I signed up last night in tears because I have WRECKED my once beautiful hair. By applying too much heat ánd dying my hair over and over. These things do not go unpunished.
I read your story, and I was in tears for you. You will have your hair back. Like me.
I am one week into the two week rule, still I go to the hair color section of the store, browsing, looking for sales, It's like hair crack!

Nightshade
April 2nd, 2010, 09:20 AM
Here you go:
Here (http://www.pgbeautygroomingscience.com/assets/images/twoh/Chapter%202/Damage%2021.jpg) you can see the hair is so damaged that the cuticle scales are almost entirely missing, the cortex has been disrupted, and the keratin fibers are clearly visible.


Still interested? :twisted:

Tonks
April 2nd, 2010, 09:29 AM
Nightshade, I remember seeing those pictures when I signed up. They scared me away from heat styling pretty much altogether! I've only taken a flat iron to my hair once since then, and I turned the heat waay down.

Aevra
April 2nd, 2010, 09:43 AM
Oh my gosh, that is a terrifying picture. :shocked:

trillcat
April 2nd, 2010, 09:46 AM
Here you go:
Here (http://www.pgbeautygroomingscience.com/assets/images/twoh/Chapter%202/Damage%2021.jpg) you can see the hair is so damaged that the cuticle scales are almost entirely missing, the cortex has been disrupted, and the keratin fibers are clearly visible.


Still interested? :twisted:
Egads!!!
I get lots of squiggly splits, is that pic the reason?
I almost never get a real split end, the forked type, just squiggles.

Liss
April 2nd, 2010, 09:52 AM
To the OP... I think if you just read through your own post you will see all the reasons why you think it's not such a great idea to hit the bleach again.

tokidokichi
April 2nd, 2010, 09:59 AM
I know exactly how you feel! I have recently sworn off bleach for the same reasons. I always end up with crazy damaged ends and have to cut inches off my hair! Don't do it!

patience
April 2nd, 2010, 10:02 AM
As someone that gets that same itch, I would just ignore the urge. I was born blonde and as I got older it got darker. I hated the natural dark, ashy color that it is now. As it's grown out I'm learning to like it because it's different. It's not a color you get out of a bottle. Most virgin is. Virgin hair has so many varying shades all within one head of hair.

Summer will be here soon and it will lighten naturally if you go outdoors. Well, unless you live near me, where that bright ball of fire is hardly ever seen. :) (even though you should protect it from the harsh rays, but we won't go into that) You could put it up and forget about for awhile. Your hair will appreciate some time away from the dye/bleach.

anrems
April 2nd, 2010, 10:56 AM
I'm going through the exact same thing, trillcat! Growing up I had naturally light blond hair, and I loved it. But once I hit high school it started turning darker and I started bleaching and highlighting it to keep it light blonde! I did that for about 6 years, and now I'm growing that old damaged hair out to get to my natural light brown color. It's hard! I want to have summery blonde hair again! And I've just signed up for this community to help me keep my hair healthy! Maybe we can help each other resist the bleach? Good luck!

GlassEyes
April 2nd, 2010, 11:04 AM
There are people here who have bleached blonde hair and have managed to keep it fairly healthy.

If you love it, I say go for it. It's harder to care for, but manageable.

Mutinous
April 2nd, 2010, 11:11 AM
There are ways and means to get your hair lighter without all the damage. Have you looked into honey lightening? It would be gradual, and obviously not a bright blonde, but it may be a happy medium!

If you are truly unhappy with it, I say dye it, just be aware of the damage it will cause, and you may have to sacrifice some of your length for it.

gnegirl
April 2nd, 2010, 11:17 AM
I did one bright blonde skunk-stripe highlight near my face to brighten my hair for the spring :).

justgreen
April 2nd, 2010, 11:21 AM
Carolyn and I get regular root lightening done and we have healthy hair. Highlights are not as bad as bleaching all over. My hair is 40+", grown out from 27+" when I first found LHC 5 years ago. Carolyn has been here longer and still highlights.

Nightshade
April 2nd, 2010, 11:59 AM
Egads!!!
I get lots of squiggly splits, is that pic the reason?
I almost never get a real split end, the forked type, just squiggles.

It may be that (likely) or splits where half the fork has broken off.



Nightshade, I remember seeing those pictures when I signed up. They scared me away from heat styling pretty much altogether! I've only taken a flat iron to my hair once since then, and I turned the heat waay down.


Oh my gosh, that is a terrifying picture. :shocked:

MUAHHAHAHAHAH!!!

What's that, more evil pictures?

Here (http://splitender.biz/images/split_end1.gif)

Here (http://1websurfer.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/split-end-of-human-hair.jpg)

And here! (http://www.surviving-hairloss.com/images/split_ends.jpg)

Juliannaissance
April 2nd, 2010, 12:04 PM
You shouldn't do it!!! Be strong. The feeling will pass!

sophistiCat *
April 2nd, 2010, 12:17 PM
What about henna/cassia? :)

sweetestday
April 2nd, 2010, 12:23 PM
I've got blonde hair that's darkened a bit through the years. The most I've done to it is to give it a acv rinse or chammomile tea rinse, then spend an afternoon in the garden to let the sun do it's work.

Debra83
April 2nd, 2010, 12:31 PM
nightshade, I believe it was, lightened her dark henna red to a way lighter shade with sun in and I think she applied coconut oil on it first before doing it to help prevent too much damage.....anyone else remember that thread? It's been in the back of my mind ever since she did it, and I might actually try it this summer....not sure yet!!!

Nightshade
April 2nd, 2010, 12:35 PM
nightshade, I believe it was, lightened her dark henna red to a way lighter shade with sun in and I think she applied coconut oil on it first before doing it to help prevent too much damage.....anyone else remember that thread? It's been in the back of my mind ever since she did it, and I might actually try it this summer....not sure yet!!!

Here's the thread you're looking for (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=19317):)

I didn't pre-treat with oil, but I don't see why you couldn't :) It's been more than a year since I did that, and no damage!

Keep in mind, I was VERY careful with my methodology, as the first post illustrates. You can't go too light with this, or it will obliterate your hair.

crystal_k
April 2nd, 2010, 12:42 PM
i feel your pain i love blonde hair i was bleaching for years im now toning it down letting the underneath of my hair grow out naturally and just using highlift tint for the top i will eventually switch to just highlights.

highlify tint is surely less damaging then bleach cant you just do a few highlift tint higlights and condition like craazy.
my hair is fine but damaged so im constantly applying coconut oil. ive also ditched hair dryer heat appliances and its growing and dont need to trim yet fingers crossed.

Capybara
April 2nd, 2010, 01:05 PM
Is there any way you could use another method to have blonde hair? There are some great threads/articles here on lightening hair color with cinnamon and honey.

trillcat
April 2nd, 2010, 01:34 PM
Such good advice, and scary pics, thanks all!
To those who said lighten just a little, or highlight a bit of hair, well, that can't happen. It's like eating one potato chip or one pistachio nut, it just leads to more!
Henna, no way, I look like grim death with red hair. So very bad with my skin tone. I know this from a color whoops that turned my hair copper. It was a beautiful color, I hated to make it go away, so pretty, but made my skin look just awful
I have nothing against bottle blondes, I was one for years, it's just that my hair is a crispy critter from it now. If I had found this site way back when it may be different, but, alas, I did not. I am soooo jealous of the ladies (and men) here whos hair can take the bleach and be nice. Mine, not so much.
I am waiting out this last week of the two week rule, may have to amend that to a month or so rule.
I was always the chick with the long blonde hair, it really does change how you see yourself.

chopandchange
April 2nd, 2010, 01:35 PM
I am a natural blonde who turned dark

If your hair turned dark, you are no longer a natural blonde. It's untrue to describe yourself as one, so why are you making this intriguing claim? (Please understand me - I am not trying to be nasty, just doing a bit of psycho-analysis). Your obvious anxiety to inform us that you are blonde makes this sentence jump out at me because I've been through a very similar thing in the past. You used to be blonde. Now you're not, and it's upsetting you. It sounds like being blonde is very important to you for some reason and you are unwilling to accept and enjoy your new natural colour. Could it be you are perhaps a bit in denial about it?

I mean this kindly - I used to be the same myself because I used to have platinum ringlets, and hated how my hair darkened with age. I still thought of myself as blonde so it frustrated me that my hair was growing out of my head in, as I saw it, the wrong colour. I used to bleach my hair, until I finally stopped doing it and accepted that my exterior had changed, even though I was still the same person (though older and wiser) inside.

What I'm trying to say is that maybe there's something you're unwilling to let go of or struggling to come to terms with. What is it that scares you about having dark hair? Losing your youth? Not attracting men? Not standing out from the crowd? Being plain?

None of those things are necessarily true. :)

P.S. Apologies if I am reading too much into this - maybe you just like the colour of blonde hair!

patience
April 2nd, 2010, 01:56 PM
If your hair turned dark, you are no longer a natural blonde. It's untrue to describe yourself as one, so why are you making this intriguing claim? (Please understand me - I am not trying to be nasty, just doing a bit of psycho-analysis). Your obvious anxiety to inform us that you are blonde makes this sentence jump out at me because I've been through a very similar thing in the past. You used to be blonde. Now you're not, and it's upsetting you. It sounds like being blonde is very important to you for some reason and you are unwilling to accept and enjoy your new natural colour. Could it be you are perhaps a bit in denial about it?

I mean this kindly - I used to be the same myself because I used to have platinum ringlets, and hated how my hair darkened with age. I still thought of myself as blonde so it frustrated me that my hair was growing out of my head in, as I saw it, the wrong colour. I used to bleach my hair, until I finally stopped doing it and accepted that my exterior had changed, even though I was still the same person (though older and wiser) inside.

What I'm trying to say is that maybe there's something you're unwilling to let go of or struggling to come to terms with. What is it that scares you about having dark hair? Losing your youth? Not attracting men? Not standing out from the crowd? Being plain?

None of those things are necessarily true. :)

P.S. Apologies if I am reading too much into this - maybe you just like the colour of blonde hair!

I know you're not trying to be nasty, but there is such a thing as dark blonde. Not really brunette and not really "blonde blonde". I'm thinking that is what she is talking about.
I still describe myself as blonde. I don't care if the world agrees or not. :D

marikamt
April 2nd, 2010, 02:00 PM
I know you're not trying to be nasty, but there is such a thing as dark blonde. Not really brunette and not really "blonde blonde". I'm thinking that is what she is talking about.
I still describe myself as blonde. I don't care if the world agrees or not. :D

Looking at your siggy pic, I would call you dark blonde too.......

Bianca
April 2nd, 2010, 02:14 PM
If your hair turned dark, you are no longer a natural blonde. It's untrue to describe yourself as one, so why are you making this intriguing claim? (Please understand me - I am not trying to be nasty, just doing a bit of psycho-analysis). Your obvious anxiety to inform us that you are blonde makes this sentence jump out at me because I've been through a very similar thing in the past. You used to be blonde. Now you're not, and it's upsetting you. It sounds like being blonde is very important to you for some reason and you are unwilling to accept and enjoy your new natural colour. Could it be you are perhaps a bit in denial about it?

I mean this kindly - I used to be the same myself because I used to have platinum ringlets, and hated how my hair darkened with age. I still thought of myself as blonde so it frustrated me that my hair was growing out of my head in, as I saw it, the wrong colour. I used to bleach my hair, until I finally stopped doing it and accepted that my exterior had changed, even though I was still the same person (though older and wiser) inside.

What I'm trying to say is that maybe there's something you're unwilling to let go of or struggling to come to terms with. What is it that scares you about having dark hair? Losing your youth? Not attracting men? Not standing out from the crowd? Being plain?

None of those things are necessarily true. :)

P.S. Apologies if I am reading too much into this - maybe you just like the colour of blonde hair!

Ehhm, I was blonde as a child too, and I would still call my hair blonde, it's just not platinum blonde, but dark blonde. It's definitely not brown :p

YesitsReal
April 2nd, 2010, 02:16 PM
Chopandchange--

You just made me realize why it is that I keep trying to honey-lighten my hair!

I'm a blonde whose hair has darkened over the years (esp since I've stayed out of the sun the last few). I'm still blonde, but I keep getting the itch to lighten. My problem is, I don't really want to dye my hair. I still want to be able to say, "Yes, this is my natural color," but I want my natural color to be the same as it was when I was younger. It's a pride thing--a stand-out-from-the-crowd thing. Thanks for that wake-up call!

chopandchange
April 2nd, 2010, 03:28 PM
Ehhm, I was blonde as a child too, and I would still call my hair blonde, it's just not platinum blonde, but dark blonde. It's definitely not brown :p

I wasn't talking about your hair, Bianca, so I'm a bit confused as to why or how I appear to have offended you. I was talking about the OP's hair, which she referred to as dark in the post I quoted. :)

Spike
April 2nd, 2010, 03:50 PM
I know they're warm, but how about a blonde wig? Or some blonde clip-ins?

Syaoransbear
April 2nd, 2010, 03:53 PM
You can dye your hair blonde and still have healthy hair. It won't be pristine like virgin hair, but it can still be healthy.

xoxophelia
April 2nd, 2010, 04:00 PM
Maybe just dedicate yourself to wait until some later point in the summer and see if the sun lightens your hair enough to your liking?

Clarisse
April 2nd, 2010, 04:05 PM
Well, this probably won't help you that much, but I prefer brown over blond. I'm blond at the moment, but my roots are growing out darker and darker, and I'm really happy about it. I want my hair to look like Hermiones! (In the books...) My grandma had light hair as a kid that darkened into a nice warm brown color too, and I really hope the same thing happens for my hair. The darker my hair gets, the thicker and curlier it gets too - a nice bonus :)

Have you considered trying honey lightenings, rhubarb ligntenings and the like? It works gradually and is more gentle to your hair - or at least that's what I've read... For obvious reasons I haven't tried it myself :P

Lisa Tregner
April 2nd, 2010, 05:45 PM
Your hair should make you feel good. If blonde hair will do that than go for it.

Bianca
April 3rd, 2010, 04:10 PM
I wasn't talking about your hair, Bianca, so I'm a bit confused as to why or how I appear to have offended you. I was talking about the OP's hair, which she referred to as dark in the post I quoted. :)

I was not offended :)
Just letting you know that there is a thing called dark blonde. Maybe that's what she has. In that case she can still call her self a blonde. But I dont know just HOW dark her hair is, of course.
But usually, when you start out as a blonde, you go dark blonde. And the way she describes it, sounds dark blonde/ash blonde to me :)

trillcat
April 3rd, 2010, 04:56 PM
Here is a pic of my hair, so let the debate begin as to what color it is!
http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q19/Silversouldream/hair-3.jpg
I tried to take a pic of my roots, the true color, but you couldnt really see them, they blend into the rest of my hair, in a pic anyway. Need more grow out to show that. The natural color is about 1 or 2 shades darker than the rest, and not as gold, more ashy, but does have a fair amount of gold to it, from what I can remember having an entire head of it 2 years or so ago. The dark on the top is the lighting, not my roots, wish I had that much grown out!
I was a little offended by the comment I could no longer call myself a natural blonde, but I got over that in about a minute, heck, it is what I hear all the time. It could go to chocolate brown and I would still probably call myself a natural blonde, lol.
Note the nice fried ends, and this pic was taken after a trim of 3 inches.

chopandchange
April 3rd, 2010, 05:01 PM
I'm very sorry that I offended you. It wasn't my intention. I thought I was being helpful. I'm so sorry.

trillcat
April 3rd, 2010, 05:09 PM
I'm very sorry that I offended you. It wasn't my intention. I thought I was being helpful. I'm so sorry.
No worries! I was only mildly offended, it's all good! :)

sunshine-locks
April 3rd, 2010, 05:31 PM
Here is a pic of my hair, so let the debate begin as to what color it is!
http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q19/Silversouldream/hair-3.jpg
I tried to take a pic of my roots, the true color, but you couldnt really see them, they blend into the rest of my hair, in a pic anyway. Need more grow out to show that. The natural color is about 1 or 2 shades darker than the rest, and not as gold, more ashy, but does have a fair amount of gold to it, from what I can remember having an entire head of it 2 years or so ago. The dark on the top is the lighting, not my roots, wish I had that much grown out!
I was a little offended by the comment I could no longer call myself a natural blonde, but I got over that in about a minute, heck, it is what I hear all the time. It could go to chocolate brown and I would still probably call myself a natural blonde, lol.
Note the nice fried ends, and this pic was taken after a trim of 3 inches.
the ends dont look fried, and the colour looks more light brown with a reddish tinge :)

MsBubbles
April 3rd, 2010, 09:23 PM
I am growing out my natural dark ashy blonde. it is hard but I love my roots in natural daylight. The bleached parts only have one color. I also want to be able to say my hair color is my own.