View Full Version : Desperately seeking help and advice

April 2nd, 2010, 06:23 AM
Hello dear reader, thank you for opening this desperate titled thread... I appreciate it ;)

I joined this lovely forum yesterday, and wrote my intro in the therefor destined forum, where I mentioned what my hair went through, so I won't go over the whole story again, but let's just say that I went from thick lush wavy strands to a dyed and fried choppy MESS.
I didn't know where else to go with this, I am still so sad to realise everything that happened to my once gorgeous full thick manes, but I have to see the good in this, and see it as a way to start over fresh, in many ways.

Threads like this are not very uplifting, I realise this, but I am so devestated and feel very lost, now that my extensions have come out and I decided to go natural and start working on growing my beautiful hair back, I have no idea what to do with myself in the inbetween period so to speak, I have no idea what to do with my hair, I used to curl it with a curling iron every day! Just the idea alone of not doing anything with me hair is... inconceivable to me.. and the state my hair is in is so bad, all I did last night was cry and curse myself.

If you have been in my shoes... could you please tell me how you dealt with growing your hair out? How about the color... is it possible to put henna over chemical treated blonde hair? I am already taking some supplements that are supposed to help with growing strong hair (MSM, Paba, multi B-vitamin, vitamin c and I eat lots of raw fresh veggies and olive oil) but I still have so many questions and am reading a lot around the forums, and I am very glad to have found this place, but could someone please give me some advice on how to get through this? It is true, so much worth is attached to one's tresses... I feel so naked and ugly right now. :(

April 2nd, 2010, 06:50 AM
If you hair is long enough you can always do braid waves or rag curls. Curling is not out of the question when you are getting rid of heated hair appliances. I would pamper it with oil for sure. I personally like coconut oil a lot but others around here have great luck with Olive Oil, jojoba oil ect. There are ways to grow out without cutting the damaged hair. If you click on the articles section there is a great article in there on how to do it.

I don't know how long your hair is so I can't give you any style hints but there are ways to cope at almost any length. You can do it!! Whenever you grow out your hair there is going to be awkward lengths and whatnot that you have to get through. Just be patient and pamper your hair in the mean time. It can happen. I hope this helps.

April 2nd, 2010, 07:08 AM
Many years ago my hairdresser at the time used foils all through my hair and I hated the result so I went back and she took it all out with more chemicals. My hair was left completely damaged and I was devastated as my hair was quite long. I remember using a Kerastase product designed for weakened hair and it made a big difference for me at that time. I didn't think anything could fix that kind of damage but my hair was rescued to some degree.

April 2nd, 2010, 07:18 AM
Dear Nae and julliams, thank you both SO much for the speedy replies, I appreciate it a lot :)

At the moment my hair is so broken off and damaged (wearing the hair extensions probably didn't help either, but for me it was a "quick fix" to have my beautiful long hair again, you know?) that I pretty much cannot do anything with it, it is sooo porous and choppy, because of all the stuff I put it through. I also have been very careless with my body (I've had an eating disorder for over 10 years now) and the past couple of years... well let's say that I have barely been able to absorb any vitamins, so this also weakened my hair. So a lot of things are going on right now, I am going through recovery for my eating disorder, which is very hard, and now since my extensions came out, I feel like my last piece of 'beauty' has been stripped. Wow how overly dramatic this must sound, but I am very depressed over this, but I need to let this be a lesson, to now take better care of my body, my hair and my soul.

Nae, I did put in coconut oil all evening and night last night and washed it out today, I will keep doing the coconut oil once a week I think :)

julliams, I am familiar with Kerastase, I have some in my bathroom right now actually! It is a family favorite so I grew up with it, thanks for the tip!!

Thanks again for reading and replying, I would love to hear from everybody who has advice for me.

April 2nd, 2010, 07:30 AM
Oh boy :(

Well, at least there is a lot you can do to grow back your beautiful tresses, you have come to the right place :flower:

I link some articles you might find useful:

A very comprehensive article about hair rehabilitation:

Oiling tutorial:

And also check out vinegar rinses:

My advice is that you should give your hair a nice looong break :)

Protect your hair as much as possible, wear bandanas and hats and protective hair styles.
I recommend deep treatments as often as possible, and also pre-oiling your hair before every wash. And remember to also clarify once a month!

And also take a before pic of your hair, that way you have something to compare with.

The important thing is to find methods that are optimal for you and your hairtype, so it might take some experimenting before you find something that works. Don't try too many things at once! That is what I did at first when I joined this forum and my hair was a mess :p
Take good care of your scalp also, that way you have better hair growth.

Edit: How long is your hair? I wonder if you will have to cut off some damage to get a good start? It is not absolutely necessary, but if your hair is really damaged chopping it off gives you a fresh start.

April 2nd, 2010, 07:39 AM
...since my extensions came out, I feel like my last piece of 'beauty' has been stripped. Wow how overly dramatic this must sound...

Seraphine, it doesn't sound overly dramatic at ALL, especially on this forum. You are going through a lot right now, especially with your recovery. There is a lot to let go of in any recovery effort, and to let go of your last piece of beauty, however artificial, must be very traumatic indeed.

Biotin is another supplement that many on this forum have had a great deal of success with, it often helps hair grow faster and thicker. As far as henna over the chemical blonde goes, you'll probably want to check out the Recipes, Henna and Herbal Haircare discussion forums, there are many threads having to do with henna and several other herbal and natural hair treatments. I've been amazed at what henna has done for my hair :)

Be encouraged that hair DOES grow! In a fit of hair (and life) rage, I chopped off all my (chemically dyed red) BSL hair in March 2009. I started henna at that time as well, and kept it short for 6 months til all the chemically dyed hair had grown out. Tweaked my henna recipe along the way, adding 50% cassia to my mix. Here's what I looked like after my last major haircut this past August:


and here are pics I took this morning:


I've had several trims along the way to get rid of the razor cut wispies and to keep the Mullet of Doom in check - but it's getting there, and it's SOO much healthier than it was in March of last year! Hope that gives you a little encouragement...

Be good to yourself, invest in a few pretty shiny hair things along the way, and enjoy your recovery period, both for your body and for your hair. :flower:

April 2nd, 2010, 08:06 AM

I empathize with you !! Hugs.. I am going thru something similiar which I posted about on another thread so I won't bore anyone with that again but suffice to say I'm in the same boat having had health issues that stopped growth andd a nightmare haircut that is going to take a long time to grow out.

You said something that struck me. You said you feel naked without your hair.. wow that's exactly the word that best describes it. I hope anyone reading here that is thinking of getting a haircut or doing other things that could damage the hair reads this before they actually do it. I wish I had given more thought to popping into an unknown and getting my hair cut.. but I can't lay blame on her b/c noone forced me to walk in there and seek a haircut ya know ? lol

I guess I just have to vent about it now and then... I'm sure you've been reading the posts like I have that have anything at all to do with growing hair. I'm trying a few of them. I'm desperate LOL

But anyway we have to look at it this way... I have in the past gotten really bad cuts, hair too short, cut wrong, health issues that stopped growth but as long as I'm alive I know my hair will eventually grow. I'm just praying I don't die before it grows out. *grin* Yes I have actually seriously thought about that. How vain is that? LOL

I hope things turn around for you and your hair starts growing again ... I know it's hard to get up every morning and look at it and deal with it, but I try to focus on other things to when I'm not visiting here b/c I could easily become obsessed.. heck I am obsessed, what am I talking about ? ;-)

Best of luck and keep us posted :-) I'l be making a post if I figure out anything that has helped my hair grow back faster and healthy. Hopefully I'll see yours along with it :-)

Again.. big hugs.. hang in there

April 2nd, 2010, 08:07 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been going through and I'm so glad that you're getting help with your eating disorder. :grouphug:

Another dietary suppliment you might try is evening primrose oil. It helps to moisturize the body from the inside out...a healthy scalp leads to healthy hair.

Also, I don't remember seeing where you mentioned how long your hair is now. Perhaps a picture (backwards in the mirror) could help to get a visual idea of what you're dealing with. While you're growing, you can absolutely have curls. Solar Rollers, Wrap Snap & Go, or just plain ol' homemade rag curlers will do it!

Good luck and I hope you reach your goals!

April 2nd, 2010, 08:57 AM
I think the best advice could come after you post a picture of what you are working with. Too often we are our own worst critic; not to minimize your feelings or anything, but it may not be as bad as you think :flower: Welcome to the boards, BTW :waving:

April 4th, 2010, 01:33 PM
Fethenwen, my hair is currently a damaged, choppy mess at the length somewhere below my chin but above my shoulders... but yes, choppy. The hairdresser did trim the ends quite well after she took the extensions out, so now it is rid of the thin and most damaged ends :) so I can start over... somewhere it is actually a real positive thing. I can work on the recovery of my eating disorder and with that comes the whole building back up of my entire body, so I will look at it as a project, somewhat exciting isn't it ;) thank you for the articles and the advice Fethenwen!

CrisDee, thank you for the encouragement! Sadly I cannot see your pictures (yet), I think this has to do with my postcount... but I will come back to this thread to see it when I can!

Sweetbaby, hi!
*hugs back*
Just wanted to say, since you say you are going through something similar, if you want to talk about it, you can always message me... goodluck on your hair healing journey as well! I will be looking for you around the forums. :)

tinkerbellisme, thank you for the hairdo tips! I have been taking evening primrose oil, and I really believe in this supplement! Along with vitamin D, b12, MSM, Paba and other minerals/vitamins through healthy diet. Can't wait to see it's benefits show up in my hair growth and health :)

angelthadiva, you're right we ARE often our own worst critics, but from what my hair once was, it truly is a catastrophe, the state it is in right now... but it will grow. Thanks for the welcome! :D

April 4th, 2010, 01:35 PM
Oh and again, thanks everyone. I love this forum! haha
Everyone is so wonderful here, I am pleasantly surprised by the involvement and encouragement shown here *blows kisses*