Problems with people grabbing my braids? Advice?

[RileyKae]

I used to braid my hair all the time and I loved my hair that way. Two braids especially. Only problem was that all of my friends as well as some other people at school thought it was funny to grab my braids and call them reins and pretend they were riding me places. I stopped wearing braids because no one listened to me when I got upset. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced problems like this with long hair or if it was more just my friends/age group that are the problem. And if you've had problems like this or similar, how did you deal with them? Now that my hair is getting longer again I'd like to start braiding it again, but I'm not sure how to keep people from touching my hair...:confused:

[angelthadiva]

"If you touch my hair again; you will be left with a bloody stump". You have to say it convincingly though and perhaps a bit of a crazed look in your eye so you will be taken seriously...I'm not one for violence, but tugging and pulling on your hair is an assault...You'd just be defending yourself. :flower:

[paperwhite]

"If you touch my hair again; you will be left with a bloody stump". You have to say it convincingly though and perhaps a bit of a crazed look in your eye so you will be taken seriously...I'm not one for violence, but tugging and pulling on your hair is an assault...You'd just be defending yourself. :flower:

:rollin: That's awesome! I agree, if you're going to go the 'mutilation and violence' route, you have to say it with some conviction and maybe a few eye twitches ;)

[angelthadiva]

:rollin: That's awesome! I agree, if you're going to go the 'mutilation and violence' route, you have to say it with some conviction and maybe a few eye twitches ;)

:bow: thank you! I agree, something is lost in the threat if they sense you may be joking...I'd also hope for a large gathering when this occurs; that way everyone will be on notice!

[paperwhite]

A crowd would be ideal, but I think it would also be fun to watch the word spread through the school from person to person after making the threat in front of only a few witnesses. That would be an impressive performance!

[angelthadiva]

I'd pay to see it :D

ETA: My dad has this friend who was never married and never had his own children, so he looked to my sister and I as the kids he never had. He was a bit socially awkward and would never fail to give our hair a swirl right after it was perfectly coiffed--Finally after several occasions, being rather :steam I told him off a bit, and he NEVER did that again...So my advice to threated was given in all seriousness.

[Beets]

Carry a mini water bottle and squirt people who pull them.

[angelthadiva]

Carry a mini water bottle and squirt people who pull them.

:thumbsup: I like it, I like it!

[paperwhite]

Carry a mini water bottle and squirt people who pull them.

Haha! Another very good suggestion--it worked for my mom's cats :) I'd love an excuse to spray irritating people :D

[piratejenny23]

okay this is just a story, not wise advice probably:

i once knocked out a guy's tooth when he pulled my hair!

it was an accident...i was standing on some steps and he came up behind me and yanked my hair; i whirled around to yell at him and my elbow hit him in the mouth really hard. it was 5th grade and it was a loose baby tooth...i don't think anyone bothered me after that.

it's too bad your friends aren't more respectful. are they the kind of people who would take a threat as a challenge? for instance, if you were to grab the next hair-puller by the shirt and growl, "pull my hair again and i will punch you in the face!" would they back off or would they just do it more to see what kind of reaction they could get out of you?

my first thought when i saw the title of this thread was "wrap your braids up and coat the material in broken glass and/or poison ivy oil"...but how to keep it from hurting you? sigh...

on a more practical note: do you think they would still do this if you wore your braids draped in front rather than hanging down your back? of course whenever i did this i got called "Pocahontas" 70 times a day :(

[Eboshi]

Braid yanking. What interesting people you associate with ........

[Peter]

...

on a more practical note: do you think they would still do this if you wore your braids draped in front rather than hanging down your back? of course whenever i did this i got called "Pocahontas" 70 times a day :(
I got called Pocahontas too!

To the OP: Some of my friends used to yank my ponytail. I gave a few stern warnings, and those who didn't stop didn't receive any attention from me anymore. Some of them realized that I actually helped them a fair bit with their studies and decided to quit the hair-yanking, but others didn't, and I just stopped talking to them. I don't want to be around people like that.

Another story from when I still had short hair: My hair's always been longer than the norm, so my "short" hair was ~6" long. Anyway, once I was sitting in class and the guy behind my tugged on my hair. I turned around, smiled, and asked him to stop. He did it again. I said okay, really, stop. He yanked my hair a third time. I turned around again and said seriously... I mean it, stop. Then he decided to pull my hair again. I turned around and straight up clocked him in the face. I don't really recommend this, but he never did it again. :p

[little_cherry]

Nice work, Peter!! :D


When I was in Primary school (grade 5), my P.E teacher actually pulled my braid and laughed. I yelled "Hey, stop that or I'll tell the Principal that you like pulling little girls hair"..

Apparently I was a little firecracker back then, too! ;)

[Kat]

Scream whenever they do it? With your reasoning being, "It scares me because all I know is that someone is suddenly grabbing me from behind, plus I hate having my hair pulled and scream reflexively." (I actually do that last--not from having a large non-painful amount like a braid pulled, but if a little bit of my hair gets pulled and it hurts, I shriek--I can't help it!)

After enough times where you're screaming like you're being assaulted and drawing a lot of attention to them, maybe they'll stop? Or, you could start grabbing and jerking on their arm every time you see them, or something, and if they complain, say "I don't like it either."

[MandyBeth]

At work, people leave my hair alone other than weird looks/comments. Mainly because they know I'm not above violence or if I am that day, I'll go to HR about them because I do NOT like to be touched.

Around strangers, my hair isn't long enough to be of much interest unless it's the hair color thing, when the henna hasn't oxidized yet.

However, workout partners - they really should know enough to not mess around with me. One halfwit tried to mess with my pigtails after repeated warnings to not mess with my hair by me, not mess with my hair by others, to leave me the blankity-blank-blank alone by me and again by others and he chose to not listen. I slammed my elbow straight back into his sternum, which caused him to instantly drop my hair, spun around and held him in a triangle choke until he tapped. He's left me alone since that time. Really, don't bother someone in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class who is 3 belts above you, and just got out of a Muay Thai class and is known for being a bit nasty if need be.

Alas, can't really go around beating people up. The threat of "One more time, there will be bloodshed" has often been effective in my world of annoying people. But it only works if they suspect you are infact nasty/evil enough, and able to back up that threat.

[Kristin]

I don't have a problem with people touching my hair when it is up because now-a-days I use mostly Grah-toe hair toys and they are SHARP. People are generally afraid of me when I wear them.:) Some people do touch my hair when it is down, but they are usually the 13-year-olds I teach and they are just curious. A stern look works with them. If an adult touched my hair without permission, I would probably calmly raise an eyebrow and say, "You know some people might consider that harassment." Pretty sure that would be an effective threat. Especially if they know you would follow through (and they know I would;)).

[mwedzi]

Say "don't do that" with some sternness in your voice. I guess you are very nice in general so no one pays attention to you when you object? Just say, with total sincerity and no beating around the bush "I don't like it when people pull my hair, so don't do it."

Or you could yank their hair. That's how puppies learn not to bite each other and mommy, right? Give a little nip back.

[lilravendark]

scream like it really hurts and tell them you have an extremely sensitive scalp or slap them hard enough on the hand they'll think twice before doing it again :D

[RileyKae]

Beets, I like you're idea. :D That would be pretty funny. And after I spray them I could add in the threats and a few eye twitches (Which I'm pretty good at...is that a bad thing?)

Angelthadiva, your idea reminds me of a story my mom told me of a lady who took her husband's fishing boat out to read for the afternoon. A game warden came up to her and told her he was going to have to arrest her because she was in a non-fishing zone with all the right equipment for fishing. She told that if he did that she'd have to sue him for sexual harassment because he has all of the right equipment for it even if he wasn't actually harassing her. :)

Thanks for the advice, everybody. I'll have to quit being my shy, small self for a few moments and see if it helps.

[Carolyn]

Angelthadiva, your idea reminds me of a story my mom told me of a lady who took her husband's fishing boat out to read for the afternoon. A game warden came up to her and told her he was going to have to arrest her because she was in a non-fishing zone with all the right equipment for fishing. She told that if he did that she'd have to sue him for sexual harassment because he has all of the right equipment for it even if he wasn't actually harassing her. :)

That's an old joke that's been going around for years.

[Eboshi]

... your idea reminds me of a story my mom told me....She told that if he did that she'd have to sue him for sexual harassment because he has all of the right equipment for it even if he wasn't actually harassing her. :)

So sexual harassment is not harassment?

Wow. Just wow. Stay classy RileyKae.

[JBickers]

When anyone makes any joke about my hair, or even comes close to touching it I do the tough guy routine that was first suggested but a bit more sane. I lock eyes with them and sternly say how many years of dedication have gone into my hair's current length and that I don't find them in the least bit amusing. If they don't get the message they get moved out of my life.

[SophieSpector]

use your braids as nunchucks :D

seriously though that sounds really annoying, sympathy @ you.

[BranwenWolf]

I had some 8th grader yanking my hair when I was in kindergarten. It stopped when on the very same day, my (6'2", junior in high school) brother showed up and my teacher caught him doing it.

I must give off enough of a vibe nowadays where people don't touch me, and that is exactly what I hope for. Oddly enough I do have Native blood (and a Metis card) but thankfully no one sprung for calling me Pochahontas.

[naereid]

That's teenagers for you. :rolleyes: God, I'm glad I'm out of high school. The frequency of those annoying "funny" people diminished once I got out.
You might want to try acting tough and yelling at them, but if you're usually as shy as I was in high school, they might just laugh at you. :(

Uh, maybe I'm projecting a little too much. In any case, good luck!

[Purdy Bear]

I would calmly remind who every touches your braid, that is a part of you and as such you can take them to court for a nice big sum for compensation.

When I had braids at school, very few touched my braids and lived to tell the tale. Due to bullying I took up martial arts, and once that got around I was left alone.

[Lemur_Catta]

There is a female friend of mine from uni who really likes my hair. And I am very glad about that. The only problem is that, when we are sitting in class and she is behind me, if my hair is in a braid she starts playing with it. All the time. If I have to redo the braid, or to redo a bun, she will grab my hair and try to do that for me, with all the good intentions of this world, not to hurt me! But I really, really dislike that. I have tried to tell her, but since she's my friend I don't want to hurt her. The only solution I found is to put my hair up in a bun, and not mess with it when she is behind me.

Sometimes people grab my braid and lightly pull it to get my attention. I hate it, and always tell them to stop. They do not always listen.

[BunnyBee]

So sexual harassment is not harassment?

Wow. Just wow. Stay classy RileyKae.

Uhh, maybe you'd like to re-read the statement a little more thoroughly. She meant even though he wasn't actively sexually harassing the woman, he still had the right equipment for it...

It's a joke, you know, funny ha-ha? No? Never mind then.

----------------

ANYWAY. Yes people like to yank your hair if you have it in any sort of style which draws their attention. Mainly men. I think maybe they can't think of another way to communicate with a female :rolleyes: Unfortunately they don't grow out of it, so threatened (or actual) violence may be the only way to solve it! :D
When I first started wearing hair sticks, They never managed to stay put for very long :mad:

[Henrietta]

You know what? Do the same. Once will be enough probably. Maybe I am mean, but they should know how annoying it is. When they'll know- they stop doing that.

I have that kind of problem too. I am afraid that someone will cut my braid. It sounds funny or even ridiculous but I have weird people at school. Once they cut my friend's hair.

[sherigayle]

My BIL pulled my braid once. Only once.:evil: I was sitting next to his grandmother and said, very loudly, "Stop fondling me!" The look his grandmother gave him was enough to keep him from ever doing it again.

[Aevra]

@Jenny: I love the quote, Book should have enough hair to join.

@OP: When I was in school the only way to keep people from tugging on my braids and from calling me pippi longstocking was to yell at them and threaten. -shrug- It might just be your age group since I don't get my braids messed with anymore.

[Atalanta]

I don't have so much a yanking prolem as a oh-let-me-fuss-up-your-hair-cause you-loathe-tangles-so-much problem.:rolleyes:

I'm sure once my hair gets to a more out of the ordinary length, i'll have stupid people tugging it.

High School- Sucks majorly.
High School in "you sure gotta purty mouth" Iowa?- sucks ona scale of EPIC proportions.

On a seperate note, this entire thread is both hilarious and anger inspiring. A rare combination.

[Patty lou]

A few years ago I think it was 4th July holiday, we was at a lake for a picnic when a dumb bully from my daughters school pulled her braids, she swung around
hit him in the mouth and loosened his front tooth, her stupid mother blamed us for having both of our girls waist length hair in 2 braids, hubby spoke up and told her and her husband where to go.
DD also told him he was lucky it was only a tooth.
She did not take to lightly to him puling her hair, he pulled so hard the red,white &
blue ribbon bow came off 1 braid.



Patty lou

[Beldaran]

I had that happen to me once. I guy I barely knew grabbed my braids in the same motion you describe and even made the "whipishhhh" noise as he tugged them. I stopped dead in my tracks and whirled around. My arm came up to my head to ensure he'd actually let go and I stood completely still while giving him a shocked/evil eye combo.

This kid was a punk really, he never paid attention in class and usually made jokes about smoking pot. When I stood there and looked him dead in the eyes he actually seemed embarassed and muttered "Sorry, I couldn't help myself.." and walked off.

Honestly though if your friends are pulling your hair and not listening when you tell them to stop, I get the feeling that you need different friends.

[katha]

Honestly though if your friends are pulling your hair and not listening when you tell them to stop, I get the feeling that you need different friends.

This.


I'd tug back. Heavily. Be mean. They deserve it.

[Juliannaissance]

That used to happen to me, and I was also teased in Jr. High. I don't know what I would do if someone tugged at my braids again. I would probably push them out of the way. I'm very protective of my hair now. :D

[girloctopus]

Ugh, braid pulling. How juvenile!

I don't have really any good advice besides just telling them to stop and following up on any threats that you make like reporting harassment. I'm sorry that people feel entitled to do that to you :(

[doro357]

Oh I hate it when they do the horse thing.One time someone grabbed my braid and whipped me in the face.

My mom told me when she was little ,a boy dunked her braids into an ink well.

[Renbirde]

Another option-- you know those dog-collar style necklaces and bracelets? Find a few with nice sharp spikes and narrow bases and braid them in. :) You could hook a few together if they need to be longer.

[Loreley]

I don't know why some people like touching others hair... There was a boy at high school who wanted to comb my hair and braid it. He was kind of a friend of mine so I let him comb it once...
Two weeks ago I was sitting at a lecture when the girl sitting behind me started to pull the hairstick out of my bun. I told her to stop it immediately and she left my hair alone. I like her but it was on my washing day and my hair was a bit greasy so I didn't let her do it. :tmi:

[TheStorm]

Before I start I'll say don't try this because I got into a heck of a lot of trouble for it. In my case it wasn't friends having a playful tug, a lad of similar age to me was really asking for a fight I did this as a final extreme measure.
Once someone thought they could bully me by yanking my braids quite hard, I pushed them off and told them to go away a few times, then once they went too far and tried to yank me to the floor with my braid. I knocked him off of me hit him for it, he threatened me that it would be worse next time.. So while I was out I bought half a dozen fishing hooks and braided them in with my hair, right down the length of the braid. Lets just say thats the last time he will ever grab anyones braid.