View Full Version : Help! I need some hair encouragement!

May 4th, 2008, 07:49 PM
Hey there! I am still quite new to this board, but I just want to personally thank all of you for how kind you have been and helpful too.
I really could use some encouragement right now as I am the "growing out shoulder length stage".. where I read can be one of the more difficult stages to go through.
My hair isn't what I would call terrible, but it can be quite unruly and dry at times.. I have put my flat iron away, (except to straighten my bangs only) and don't use and blowdryer. I have been washing my hair less and deep conditioning and doing hot olive oil treatments. All which seem to be helping.

I guess my thing is all my layers in the back of my head!!! :eek:
I have so many. It is from a previously short haircut I got a few months back, and it's still in the process of growing out.
Anyone else on here experience this? Any ideas and suggestions on what to do?

Thanks so much!!:)

May 4th, 2008, 07:52 PM
Welcome! We're happy to have you here!

I recently went through the agony of growing out my bangs, so I can totally sympathize. Once I got them past chin length, I actually cut ALL of my length so that I could get all one length. But, luckily it is coming right back in, and looks great!

The thing to remember is that it WILL grow...just give it time and be super gentle with it. Avoid that flat iron completely if you can! :-) Everything else you are doing sounds perfect!

May 4th, 2008, 09:17 PM
Welcome! :flower:

My suggestion is to wear it up and out of your way as much as possible...Practice some updos, there are many threads with various styles...Your possibilities are truly endless...By the time you know it you will have outgrown this stage! :D

Many happy hair day wishes from me to you.

May 4th, 2008, 09:21 PM
Welcome! :waving: I can sympathize somewhat since I'm growing out fringe which is now chin length and just short enough to fall out of buns. If I French braid the fringe hair or gently clip my hair back it doesn't annoy me nearly as much and I can forget about it. So, I second what angelthadiva said, wear it up and away as much as possible and soon you'll be pleasantly surprised :)

May 4th, 2008, 09:24 PM
Patience. As layers grow out, they tend to blend in over time, as the shed/regrow cycle causes us all to have hairs at every length anyway. If you feel they need to be trimmed, you can bend forward and make a ponytail on the very top of your head, then slide the pony-holder toward the floor. It will make the ends of your layers splay out, and you can very gently dust the driest-looking tip-ends away.

Again, patience. I have in the past cut my hair in a fit of frustration after 2 years of growth from a short haircut, saying "it just won't get any longer!" It has taken me 2-1/2 years to get from arm-pit length to hip length. It takes about 1 year to get from shoulder length to armpit length. So you're well on your way!

~Lady Stardust~
May 4th, 2008, 09:31 PM
Hi! I know exactly what you are going through. I'm growing out my hair from a very short layered cut and at the stage where my hair is at now (a bit shorter than apl) my layers are very apparent and pretty annoying. What I'm going to do is just continue to grow my hair out till it get about halfway to bsl, then I'll start trimming it bit by bit to gradually grow them out. Hang in there! I know it's frustrating! :)

May 4th, 2008, 09:33 PM
I have been in need of some hair encouragement myself. I have been looking at old pictures and I am at the same place I was 2 years ago - however it has only been since December that I truly began to grow out again. Just hit a little depression - I was looking for confirmation that I had past "the point" where my hair does NOT seem to get any longer - it hasn't :( Still stuck right above my bra strap - but I am gonna hang in there. And keep hoping.........

May 4th, 2008, 09:43 PM
I grew out my hair from a choppy short 'do only trimming a couple times a year and then as little as possible. As my hair grew the layers blended more and more on their own. I remember at first I was tempted to chop them but now I am glad I didnt. :)

Now I'm going to pollute your thread with my pics. :lol: This is a couple years old but you still get the idea.


May 4th, 2008, 10:10 PM
This is where patience come into play. I know it seems like it will take forever to grow, but if you treat your hair good & stay away from the scissors it will reward you.;)

May 4th, 2008, 10:24 PM
I am growing out my layers too & it's sometimes so frustrating. Butters, your hair looks so beautiful. Did you trim at all thro' the years or did the layers sort of just even out? Right now I have so may layers that it is very unruly for any sort of style. I just apply some aloe gel & tie it into a ponytail.

May 4th, 2008, 10:41 PM
I'm going through a blah stretch for these last two weeks, and I think I need to follow the same advice everybody has been giving you-- simpler care and wearing it out. and I agree with the advice to saty away from the flat iron.

~Lady Stardust~
May 4th, 2008, 10:45 PM
Butters, thank you so much for polluting the thread with your photos! :) My hair looks exactly like yours did and now I'm really encouraged just to hang in there and not chop.

May 4th, 2008, 10:51 PM
I'm at the same onerous stage. :mad:
Does it really take a full year to get from shoulder length to APL? I guess it depends on whether you define APL as the upper or lower boundary of the arm pit... and whether shoulder is just touching shoulders or more like collar bone length. My arm pit starts about 4 inches below my shoulder so... that would mean about 8 months maximum to grow to that point.

May 5th, 2008, 12:27 AM
If I had to grow my hair again from a short cut, I would wear it up everyday. I wouldn't have taken my own advice back then, but minor damage adds up over the years and really shows when it is long.

They really mean it around here when they say to treat it like old lace. Gentle treatment now means gorgeous long hair in the future. Mainly, stop minor breakage due to tangles, wind, combing, brushing, thoughtless cleaning methods and rubbing against clothing, furniture and bed linens (friction).

Another thing I wish I had done back then, which I do now, is to untangle with my fingers, and using mostly fingercombing while limiting the use of a comb or brush.

May 5th, 2008, 01:08 AM
Just hang in there - I too have some short layers that I wish would grow out (fast!) but I still have to deal with. It's funny that every stylist always, ALWAYS thinks that layers look good and often go overboard with the shorter top sections, even when you tell them not to. I have some layers that aren't even to my shoulder when the longest layer is APL. Sigh. Layers just make hair look fuzzy, in my opinion.

Good luck; they'll grow out eventually! Just treat your hair with some TLC and you'll be fine :)

May 5th, 2008, 03:01 AM
I'm in the same situation as you. I'm 14 months into growing out from a pixie cut. The photo was taken 2 months ago. I can't wait for my layers to grow out too, but what can you do:shrug: the only thing that will sort this out is time. I am not trimming my hair at all, and like Frizzinator suggests, putting it up most of the time. This is such a treat for me because just a few months ago the front bits were too still too short to go into an updo.

I wear it in a scrunchie bun which give it more volume and as far as other people are concerned I have long hair!!:) In fact recently when someone who had only seen my hair up, saw it loose, they asked me if I'd had it cut! (as if!!)

I think the thing is, when you are growing out your hair, to try to appreciate the journey, and each stage that you go through. Each length has its own good points and problems and challenges - one has to live through them so one might as well try to enjoy them!:) (So I keep telling myself!)

May 5th, 2008, 07:08 AM
I also have a shoulder-length cut with lots of layers! I love my layers and plan to keep them. They prevent me from looking like a triangle. :)

May 5th, 2008, 07:20 AM
Butters: What progress your pics show! If that's not encouragment, I don't know what is! :)

Silver Strands
May 5th, 2008, 07:55 AM
I had mine cut like Butters only the top was shorter as I
had henna cut off, so it was 3 1/2" all over.

I have micro-trimmed a few times these past 11 months
to get rid of a few layers and the longest is now at my collarbone.

I twist each side up and clip it and then twist the back
up and clip it.
This is how I wore my hair long also so i'm happy to have
the appearance of longer hair, even if it's not.

If I were to cut back to my shortest layer, i'd be back at
jaw length and wouldn't be able to pull it up for the summer.
Last summer was a bear!

I will slowly trim the layers out but I have to be able to pull it

May 5th, 2008, 08:50 AM
Thanks guys :flowers:

And I only trimmed yearly it looks like from my old hair journal, and then only the tiniest amount. I know this is going to sound silly, but I kept telling myself, "Cutting your hair is NOT going to make it longer." Because I would get these idea that it would look longer if I just trimmed it to x layer.

Here is a link to my old journal, the first post shows growth and trims. I dont know how informative the rest is though. :lol:


May 5th, 2008, 09:00 AM
First of all, although I am late, I would like to welcome you to our community, Backtolonghair, and you will find a warm and caring group of people here.

I am glad that you put your straightening iron away, since I caused considerable damage to my own hair when I used one, and it is slowly "recovering" now from the earlier damage. You have already received some excellent suggestions from my fellow members, so I don't have a lot more to add, but with time, your shortest hairs will grow long enough to be a lot less frustrating to deal with. Of course I wish you the best of luck, and all of us are here to give you all the encouragement you need.:flower:

May 5th, 2008, 10:28 AM
your hair sounds like mine when mine was short, i had loads of layers(pic one in siggi) i did nothing, no cutting until my hair recently. My layers have nearly caught up with my length and i have just one major layer now and my hair is just 1.5" off BSL.

It has taken me altogether 29 months, the hardest bit of growing i found was from shoulder length (on shoulder collar bone length i would call flick length, as it flicks out at this length) to APL took me about a year too, it takes longer to get to Apl in my opinion is because we have more body curves, so although it does not look much distance, its deceptive. From APL to BSL I have grown quicker, so hang in there. Once you get to APL its all downhill!

May 5th, 2008, 10:38 AM
I have layers to and the only thing you can do is just hang in there and deal with them. So far it sounds like you have a great routine going though.

May 5th, 2008, 10:51 AM
Oh dear...im in the same stage and with the same layers (stupid ones and with big diference in lenght between them) So i just say...hang in there and never cut (trim) before asking for advice ;P

May 5th, 2008, 12:18 PM
Hi Backtolonghair! Welcome - it's good to have you here.

I'm growing out from a basic 2" all over pixie cut (no idea what I was thinking with that particular haircut...). There are awkward stages all along the way and the one you're at is one of the more challenging, IMO.

All I can say is: PATIENCE! And wear your hair up as much as you can. I think I pretty much ignored my way through the shoulder-ish length crazy layer stage, trying to keep my end goal in sight. Which is still my plan for the time being.

All in all, I think it's really remarkable how little effort it takes to grow your hair long if you pretty much ignore it! :)

May 5th, 2008, 01:28 PM
Hi! :)

I know what its like to grow out layered hair. What makes it hard is that the layers will start to taper after a while without trims and then ..well "blend in" but it will also make the bottom look thinner until you actually get to trim that off.
I first grew to a length I liked and then took a break to trim for about a half year. It really worked wonders and I would recommend it to anyone that deals with layers and/or taper.

May 5th, 2008, 08:07 PM
Now I'm going to pollute your thread with my pics. :lol: This is a couple years old but you still get the idea. Fantastic progress Butters! Hair really is a great way to record the passage of time. :)

(Glances at hair) "It's half past 2008!"


May 5th, 2008, 10:19 PM
I see that you are a 2c, like me, which makes growing out layers an even bigger pain IMO. I felt like bush-woman for a long time (until APL I believe), since the layers went all pyramid shaped on me as they were growing out :( I started with layers starting at ear length and now, 9 months later, they are at shoulder length and not too terrible to deal with. Just hang in there for a while - it will get better!!

May 5th, 2008, 10:50 PM
I grew my hair out from 3 inch bangs, 1/2 inch to 1 inch sides and back to elbow/waist which is where I am now. I also have layer-y things in the back from the way my hair was cut. Growing to shoulder length and a bit past it SUCKED for me. Shoulder length just looks horrible on me and I cut my hair back to the old cut for about a year because of that stage. However, if you wear it back as much as possible and ignore it otherwise except to wash/comb it, this stage will be gone relatively quickly.

May 6th, 2008, 12:47 AM
I'm in the same place - shoulder-length with layers all through it as I'm growing out a pixie cut (Judy Dench length).

If we can hang in there and play with it at home a little bit while wearing it up all the time, this phase should pass quickly! Do you have any toys that you can practice with in the meantime? I find that I can hold mine up with a couple of sticks for a few hours at home. It is very encouraging!

I know other people here with lovely long hair don't like bobby pins but they don't seem to snag my hair and they are my best friends at the moment, as they allow me to pull it all up into a ponytail or with a clip. I don't think I will be able to wear it out until the longest layers get to APL as otherwise it would turn into a big, thick triangle. :(

I'm going to see how long I can leave it without getting a trim - I'm thinking at least until BSL or longer, so mid next year. :)

At the moment it is fun to take photos of my ponytail every month or so, as it shows the growth really well. I want long hair, but right now I am just so grateful to have a ponytail. :cheese:

Good luck with your growing! It is a horrid stage, but we'll make it. :D

May 6th, 2008, 04:30 AM
I just want to say hang in there!

I have been growing since my hair was between ear-lengh and chin-length (it's at Can-I-Call-This-Waist? length right now). It was a huge pain growing from that shrot, especially since I was also growing out bangs and really bad bleach damage. I feel your pain, but it's SO worth it. :)

Silver Strands
May 6th, 2008, 07:03 AM
I want long hair, but right now I am just so grateful to have a ponytail.

Amen to that sister! I like this attitude.
It's good to focus on the positives that you do have.
It's very hard coming here and wanting TB length hair
yesterday and knowing that it's years down the road.

Be thankful for what you have now and if you only micro-
trim occasionally along the way, you Will get where you
want to be.