PDA

View Full Version : Went home & now a little discouraged about my hair



TXbarbie
March 23rd, 2010, 01:32 AM
I have been lurking etc for maybe 2 months now... and have been trying the CO routine for about a month. When I went home this weekend I told my mom about my new "hair experiment." My mother is always honest with me, and she stood back and took a look at my hair. She then said "Your hair looks very damaged from the ears down, and your hair is so fine now that I can SEE through it." And that the next time I get my hair highlighted, that my stylist should cut off the majority of my length.

http://i779.photobucket.com/albums/yy72/txbarbie/hair/DSCF0189-1.jpg

Here's a picture. My avatar picture is from October, back when I was straightening, etc. and using every hair product under the sun.

A little history: I have been highlighting my hair since I was 12, had blow dried my hair til it was bone dry every time I showered for years, straightened teased etc. for many formals. I have given up all of my bad habits, but I cannot give up my highlights :)

Any advice? Or am I doomed to shorter hair due to the coloring?

TXbarbie
March 23rd, 2010, 01:33 AM
eep - sorry about the large size XD

HintOfMint
March 23rd, 2010, 01:51 AM
I don't see any damage, but the picture doesn't give a good view of what would constitute damage in your hair. It doesn't help that it is blindingly blond (I mean that in a good way):flower:

The damage could just be what is left over from years of abuse. Stopping the behaviors that damage hair doesn't undo damage and even if you had a trim after you stopped, it may not have gotten rid of all of it. It is hard to say whether or not the damage that your mother talked about could be attributed solely to highlighting, when it could easily be from a combination of blowdrying and teasing and the other damaging habits. Teasing especially would cause damage going pretty far up the hair shaft, and that can't be gotten rid of in a small trim.

It is possible that if highlighting is your ONLY vice, and you keep up with S&D and are really gentle with your hair otherwise, it may be okay to keep it. Keep in mind though, that going lighter, chemically, inherently is going to be a bit rough on your hair. After all, it involves lifting the cuticle to remove color. I am not terribly experienced in having highlights though, so I'm sure someone else will step in with some advice on that.

Depending on how YOU feel about your hair, cut if you want to get rid of any damage, but I don't think you're "doomed" to keep it shorter.

TXbarbie
March 23rd, 2010, 02:00 AM
I don't see any damage, but the picture doesn't give a good view of what would constitute damage in your hair. It doesn't help that it is blindingly blond (I mean that in a good way):flower:


Haha it definitely isn't the best angle - I don't have a large mirror in my dorm just a tiny mirror to do makeup with, or I'd be able to get a shot of my head from the back.

I've definitely been contemplating a big chop for awhile now. It's just so frustrating because two years ago my stylist told me that she "had" to chop off a foot of length due to too much styling damage. I've nearly got it all grown out again, and now I have to start all over.

I guess that's part of the fun of hair care!

Dars
March 23rd, 2010, 02:02 AM
The damage from the habits you described will stay in the affected parts of your hair, nothing can repair it. Starting healthier hair habits will affect the new growth. That being said, once all the damaged hair is gone (I don't believe in babying damaged hair) and your only bad habit left is the highlights. You may find it's much more manageable. Quite a few members here chemically colour, so no you're not doomed!

countryhopper
March 23rd, 2010, 02:07 AM
At the top of the page, there's a reallly good article about growing out damaged hair without doing a huge chop. You might want to check it out!

Dreams_in_Pink
March 23rd, 2010, 02:07 AM
Your hair looks beautiful on that photo; how about taking a close-up pic and show that so we can see the ends?

by the way, blonde hair really suits you :)

jera
March 23rd, 2010, 02:14 AM
Your good looks could light up a runway. :) Either your mom is nuts or there's damage I can't see from the angle of the shot. Maybe if you could post a closeup of just the damaged ends.

TXbarbie
March 23rd, 2010, 02:22 AM
Your good looks could light up a runway. :) Either your mom is nuts or there's damage I can't see from the angle of the shot. Maybe if you could post a closeup of just the damaged ends.

You're right I need a better shot... I just took a picture of the ends. It took me forever to figure out how to upload the first picture so hopefully this won't take too long XP

TXbarbie
March 23rd, 2010, 02:30 AM
Here are the ends:

http://i779.photobucket.com/albums/yy72/txbarbie/hair/DSCF0195.jpg

DragonLady
March 23rd, 2010, 02:33 AM
Hmmm....I think I would have about 3" taken off the hemline, then follow Nightshade's advice for growing out damaged hair.

It doesn't look bad enough to me to warrant a big chop, and if you start taking better care of it you'll slowly replace the damaged hair with new, healthier strands.

jera
March 23rd, 2010, 02:34 AM
Here are the ends:

http://i779.photobucket.com/albums/yy72/txbarbie/hair/DSCF0195.jpg


I see. Rather than chop, I'd oil the ends and proceed with a gradual trimming from your V until all the damage has been cleared away and things are even again.

TXbarbie
March 23rd, 2010, 02:39 AM
Thanks so much I'll look into maybe a trim instead of a chop and into oiling! :) That gives me some hope

ChloeDharma
March 23rd, 2010, 03:03 AM
I've grown out damage and to be honest i don't think it all has to go in one big chop. Nightshades idea of tracking your growth then trimming half of that away regularly i think is a good way to do it as a big chop can be quite depressing.
Unfortunately it can be very difficult to get away with colouring fine hair as it's so much more delicate than other hair types, but if you HAVE to colour there is a thread started i think by Ktani on how applying coconut oil before a colour treatment can reduce the damage peroxide does. Also i would say make sure to do an acid rinse as soon as the chemical process is completed to bring the ph back down.

Marjolein
March 23rd, 2010, 03:09 AM
Hmm, I still don't really see that much damage. Only that your hairs are at all different lengths. I think that with a trim now to thicken up your hemline, a tiny trim every month or so, and religious S&D sessions your hair would look so much better in just a few months time.

Athena's Owl
March 23rd, 2010, 04:09 AM
I looked. I did not see a split end anywhere.

You have an uneven hemline, so you have some tapering of volume in the last five inches of your hair. That's all. It's not *damage.*

A trim will thicken your hemline, but it's for aesthetic purposes only, so far as i can see.

lilravendark
March 23rd, 2010, 04:46 AM
I really like the blond Your hair just needs a dust or S&D it really doesnt look damaged to me because I'm guessing your hair was light already so highlights wouldnt have damaged it that much than if say your hair was a dark shade. Don't get discouraged your first photo looks amazing very glossy sunny blond colour it looks beautiful on you :)

joiekimochi
March 23rd, 2010, 04:52 AM
Your hair looks very pretty! I'd say just neaten the hemline with S&D and maybe microtrims...you don't have to lose the length. I was absolutely convinced that my TBL hair was irrepairably damaged (which on retrospect, I doubt it was so much damaged than full of coney build up since I would lop conditioner on my ends thinking it would solve the velcro effect) and had a BSL chop...it was shocking and traumatic although I could finally run my hands through my hair from root to tips. If only I had read the article about maintaining damaged length and heard about oiling before the chop!

Dreams_in_Pink
March 23rd, 2010, 04:57 AM
Hmm, I still don't really see that much damage. Only that your hairs are at all different lengths. I think that with a trim now to thicken up your hemline, a tiny trim every month or so, and religious S&D sessions your hair would look so much better in just a few months time.

I second that. Your ends look good, you only might need a little trim to even the hemline.

Dani
March 23rd, 2010, 06:18 AM
Your hair is beyond awesome and just fantastically beautiful (so are you, obviously!), and I think just microtrimming every so often along the way to wherever you are going with your hair would work just fine for you. I wouldn't cut any length if I were you because from the pics it looks great as is.

I don't know what your mom is like, but what she said is just her opinion, and no one's opinion about your hair or body EVER matters, except how you feel about it. But it's great to ask for people's advice on things in real life and take their ideas and filter it through your own mind and see if any of it can help you. It's also a great idea to get objective advice from folks online, so you don't make any big decisions about your appearance based on others' perceptions of you irl (which can lead to doubtfulness very easily, I know!). :D Hope this helps a bit. Your hair is gorgeous!

Isilme
March 23rd, 2010, 06:31 AM
A thought, are your stylist highlighting the same hair over and over again? You need to make sure that only your roots gets highlighted. Bleaching (and ever sort of lightening) is damaging, and even more damaging if you are going over the same hair twice or more.

Start with a three inch trim and then do monthly small trims until your hair feels better. Read everything Nightshade has to say about growing out damaged hair. She has written that article and she has a blog (not sure if it's public though)
If you start trimming your hair yourself make sure you're scissors are very sharp, intended for hair and only use them for your hair.

Anlbe
March 23rd, 2010, 06:34 AM
To my eyes your ends don't look that damaged at all. Some people find that when they give up products their fine ends can look quite wispy. My mother was like that. She has no damage at all (her hair's short) but when she stopped styling her hair every day she had to shift to a precision blunt hemline otherwise her hair looked transparent and straggly. Maybe it's the same case with you?

justgreen
March 23rd, 2010, 07:13 AM
Ok, for one thing, if you are CO'ing all the time, your hair won't show any splits. The conditioner is helping to keep them coated and nice looking. Take it from someone who knows. I was an Infusium 23 user for years. Once I clarified all the product off my hair and took stock, I ended up trimming about 1.5" off and that's where my journey here on LHC began. I'm a regular white blonde highlighter also. Can't do without it. But I did learn the CWC way of washing and also using regular SMTs worked wonders on my hair, especially right after a highlight job.

I now have butt crack length hair. It was almost to classic, but I hadn't had a trim in two years, so I had some trimmed off and shaped up. I have some damage from going with too dark highlights once and then getting back to blonde, but no one seems to know the damage is there but me and my colorist, so bah. I think I will keep my length at hip and just keep getting tiny trims while the thickness works it's way down again.

Carolyn
March 23rd, 2010, 07:28 AM
A lot of people (non LHC people) will see tapering length and an uneven hemline as damage and think a lot of length needs to be cut off. Well yah, that will solve the problem but it leaves you with short hair once again. Since you're here, I don't think that's what you want. My hair has looked exactly like yours. When my hemline thins out, I get maybe a 2" trim and then assess after that. More may be needed later but no need to trim more right away. S & D is a great tool in minimizing split ends. And I don't think you have many. Oiling your hair can also help. If you braid your hair, lightly oil the tassel each time you braid. Try some heavy overnight oilings. Add moisture as often as you can. Mist your hair before bunning. My hair loves heavy moisturizing conditioners like Biolage Conditioning Balm. It will take time but the thickness should start moving down the length as you grow.

aef231
March 23rd, 2010, 07:33 AM
Your hair doesn't look to be in need of a chop. I've worked in hair salons and day spas since I was 15, and truthfully, your hair looks to be in pretty good condition, especially for someone who gets blonde highlights put in. Everyone else here has put up pretty good suggestions, my only additions would be to say that you may want to be extra-protective of your hair since you are bleaching it. Adding some oil or leave-in conditioner after you wash, wearing gentle, protective styles whenever possible, using a satin pillowcase, and even covering your hair with a silky scarf when it's especially windy or sunny out are all things you may want to consider. Let us know what you end up trying :)

walterSCAN
March 23rd, 2010, 08:52 AM
I saw 1 split in that picture... You do have taper, but like I said, I don't see a lot of damage in that picture. Considering the damaging things you used to do to it, taper isn't unusual. If the taper bothers you, I'd do the largest trim that you are comfortable with without going over 3" (if it were me, I'd do 1.5" tops) and S&D any splits you find after that. I think your hair ends should stay pretty thick in the long run if you keep up with it and keep the damaging hairstyles out!

Also, definitely listen to Isilme on not highlighting the length over and over! You can minimize whatever damage highlighting is doing your hair by only bleaching the newer, more resilient growth. Also, pre-soaking with coconut oil is mentioned a LOT here for minimizing bleach damage, so you may want to consider it.

Beansidhe
March 23rd, 2010, 09:23 AM
I agree with what everyone else is saying, you're on the right track and there is no need for a big chop, maybe smaller trims. You are not doomed, there are plenty of people on here that do chemical color, you just have to do everything else you can to take good care of it.

Honestly, it looks really good to me, especially considering what you've put it through in the past! The color is really beautiful and looks great on you! Don't listen to your mom, you don't have to sacrifice your length, you can always do smaller trims and someday when it's much longer you can always decide to do a bigger trim to get rid of the older damage.

curlylocks85
March 23rd, 2010, 09:54 AM
From your picture you hair does not look damaged to the point of cutting it all off. Have you tried oiling your hair or doing a deep conditioning?

It is great that you have changed your hair habits, some are very hard to give up. Just be aware that highlighing will cause split ends and breakage. There is no way around that.

I am sure there are alternative ways to keep your light blonde color without the harsh chemical coloring. For instence, using lemons in your shampoo and conditioner.

Here are a couple of links that may be of interest to you:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=21256

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=6310

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=41703&highlight=blondes%3F

Deborah
March 23rd, 2010, 09:54 AM
Hmmm....I think I would have about 3" taken off the hemline, then follow Nightshade's advice for growing out damaged hair.

It doesn't look bad enough to me to warrant a big chop, and if you start taking better care of it you'll slowly replace the damaged hair with new, healthier strands.


Yep. I agree with her. Three inches off would be a great idea. I think even your mom would probably like it then.

Tangles
March 23rd, 2010, 10:04 AM
I'm very picky and from your picture I see nothing to worry about in the slightest. It might not be able to grow to hip length, but if you want to maintain at this length it's just fine to keep coloring it and occasionally heat styling it

Chamomile betty
March 23rd, 2010, 01:12 PM
You have very pretty hair and I don't really see any damage.
However, as a former very blond myself I had to give up a lot of color. I just highlight a few pieces around my face now.
Maybe look into oils, deep conditioning, and updos to protect your length while you grow. Don't feel discouraged.

hth

GoddesJourney
March 23rd, 2010, 01:30 PM
You know, it seems that you just have old damage. Keep growing and you'll be fine. If you've given up blowdrying and straightening and *shiver* teasing your hair, I think you can get away with some highlights, even though I think your blonde hair should get that by itself in the sun. :D

That said, keep up with your CO routine and perhaps find out if your hair could use a little protein. Some people do well with protein when they have bleached or dyed. Also, once your hair is highlighted, it's highlighted. Make sure your stylist only does the roots, and leaves the rest alone. She shouldn't be re-bleaching stuff that's already been bleached.

TXbarbie
March 23rd, 2010, 01:31 PM
Thanks everyone :) I'd definitely be okay with a 3 inch trim if it would help with the unevenness... and to answer a question - my stylist only colors the roots she doesn't re-color the ends. My hair grows extremely slowly so if she did, my hair probably wouldn't even be at the length it is right now!

Guess I'll look into oiling. CO was my first experiment after joining LHC so it's time to try a new one!

crystal_k
March 25th, 2010, 06:55 AM
your hair looks gorgeous to me just keep doing what your doing give it a little trim do nut have a major cut i dont think you need it and will probablly make you unhappy x

nycstar
March 25th, 2010, 07:21 AM
I read your post and some of your replies. Mom's usually have our best interest at heart (my own mom is always honest with me, in a helpful way, and I'm always looking out for my own teen as well). Your pic, especially the one of the ends, does exhibit some damage. It's not enough to make me want to tell you to cut it off. It's up to you to make that decision. A short little bob would look adorable on you if you want to cut off the "damaged" parts and start new. However, if you want to keep the length, stop using products hair appliances that will ruin your hair, i.e blow dryer, if you are serious about changing your (hair) ways. Invest in a strong leave-in conditioner to help smooth the hair and eliminate the dryness. This won't repair your hair (only new growth will provide that) but it will help you deal with any dryness while you grow out your hair. Maybe once your hair reaches a certain length, you'll feel more comfortable cutting it so that you're not cutting it at such a short length.

My best to you!

CrisDee
March 25th, 2010, 08:55 AM
Ugh, what is it about family that feels like they can just blurt out whatever they want with no regard to tact or hurt feelings?? My mother does this to me all the time, and I'm well over 50 and she's nearly 90!

Anyway, I also vote to keep the heat off your lovely hair, no good thing can come of flat irons :) Maybe regular trims to keep the damage in check, but certainly not a huge chop :)

Demetrue
March 25th, 2010, 09:45 AM
actually, I think your hair looks very pretty, not really damaged and just needs a minor trim to even out the ends. Keep oiling and treating your hair gently, don't overlap the highlights so the same hair doesn't get bleached twice, and ENJOY your beautiful hair!

aef231
March 25th, 2010, 11:47 AM
I meant to add, I really love pureology's split end protective treatment... Helps tame current splits and prevent new ones :)

melikai
March 25th, 2010, 12:03 PM
This is just adding to what many others have said, but coming from someone who for the last 2 years has been growing out highlight damage, your hair actually looks in decent shape! Does your conditioner(s) for CO have silicones?
You may find as you grow it longer that the ends will need particular care and attention, especially as you get to waist and beyond. You also will likely need to trim more frequently than others, at least until all the old damage is gone.

For now, I'd trim 2-3" in a U shape or straight across, and try to protect the length with updos and frequent moisture treatments. :) If you haven't yet, try out Coconut oil, as that is probably the most popular oil here.

pennyroyal
March 25th, 2010, 12:15 PM
personally i think your hair is beautiful & instead of chopping i would just trim like most others on here said. i love your color too, by the way! :)

Nightshade
March 25th, 2010, 04:45 PM
Read everything Nightshade has to say about growing out damaged hair. She has written that article and she has a blog (not sure if it's public though).

The article in question is linked in my siggy if you don't want to dig for it!