Understanding/Not Understanding

[PineappleJello]

<rant>
I told my mum about my experiments with my hair. With no longer using shampoo, my coconut cream experiment and everything else. My mum has fairly long hair, maybe 27' and very curly. So she understands what I want. (there isn't many people I tell because I find several of today's youth would find that repulsive).

My sister in law, on the other hand. She has chin length and shorter dyed redder hair. She also use to work at a hair college recruiting students, not cutting or dying, so she doesn't know too much about hair. Every time something about my hair is mentioned she goes on a little rant asking me what I'm trying to get out of this. I always tell her I want to start taking care of my hair, and I want to grow it out. Then she starts telling me about how I should get *insert any name such as Paul Mitchell shampoo and condish*

It absolutely drives me up the wall that she would suggest that what I'm doing is unhealthy and everything.

</rant>

[beez1717]

aaaaahhhh that reminds me of mom, who things that I have to wash TWICE with a HARSH shampoo :( she just doesn't get that my hair is different from hers. Heck she once washed my hair and when you ran your finger along it it SQUEEKED, and then later in the day my hair was extremely oily and it was awful! and the worst thing was that mom thought it looked better being partially oily during the day.. I don 't get it!

PS. should your hair squeek when you run your finger down it, right after you shampoo it? I don't think it should...

[ArienEllariel]

I've found that there will be some people who understand and some people who won't. Thankfully my family is starting to get used to what I do to my hair.

[TheEndlessOcean]

PS. should your hair squeek when you run your finger down it, right after you shampoo it? I don't think it should...The only time my hair squeaked was the first time I used undiluted clarifying shampoo. Mine never does it when it's well moisturized, so I'd guess it's not ideal :confused:

[Cirafly24]

I live by myself, so no one knows what I do for my hair. And I like it just fine that way!

When my fiance and I get married and move in together, I fully expect to get lots of baffled looks and unhelpful advice. I'm just enjoying the silence for now :)

[ArienEllariel]

There are so many other things I'm dying to try that I know my parents would think I'd gone bonkers for doing (but they aren't hair related in general). I plan on trying them all out once I'm out of the house. I just feel I'm meant to live a different sort of life from the rest of my family. I've been feeling that quite a bit lately so don't feel so bad that your family sometimes doesn't understand the things you do.

[IcarusBride]

My mom won't come within like 5 feet of me since she found out I haven't used shampoo in 6 months, as if she thinks that means I haven't SHOWERED in 6 months.

And my best friend who is a beauty-school drop out is always giving me unsolicited 'advice' about my hair which usually isn't very sound. I've known her for 6 years and she's always had boy-length hair, so I just don't feel very inclined to believe her . . .

[windinherhair]

I rarely share my hair routine with anyone, unless they are interested to ask. I know there are many that won't understand. I won't forget my husband's reaction when he found out I was washing it less, and that is only about once a week. He has gotten used to it now, as well as the rest of my hair routine.

[Bethie]

Any time I change something in my routine, I get looks and unwanted advice from people. So I just accept that they are wanting to help me and take the advice that I want to and ignore the rest. That being said, the only person who knows what I do to my hair is my hubby and he thinks I'm normal :)

[pelicano]

My mum doesn't remotely understand either. And yet it's her that I inherited my dry curly hair from!! :rolleyes: Hers is short and coarse though, whereas mine is much more fine/fragile. She only washes it weekly, but subjects it to heat daily. I'm quite sure she thinks I should just cut it short, as she has always had hers short.

I don't go into too much detail with anyone on what I use anymore, or why - they'd all just think I was mad.

[Sunny_side_up]

Mum and dad didn't bat an eyelid when i'd go round collecting nettles for rinses on our trips to the countryside. Mum would even help get them with me.
Always remember when dad was regularly doing vinegar rinses on his thick wavy hair, the kitchen would smell very strong, so i guess i've been raised seeing good hair care. Both have had very luscious locks, mum was tailbone back in day and dad has been beard growing and chopping over the years and had lovely french plaits i'd watch mum do on his armpit length mane he had years ago. 3b hair if im thinking of the right classification. They still do i say:love:

[Carolyn]

One thing a lot of newbies here have to learn is NOT to talk about hair with the people in your lives. Learning about long hair care and styling is a lot of fun for those of us who are in to it. We can really get in to it, can't we? :) You will find that most people have their ideas about washing, products, styling methods and etc. They aren't going to change. So the thing to do is, keep it to yourself. Koots, you found an ally in your mom. You have no idea how lucky you are to have found one person who will listen to your hair stories. DO NOT talk about what you are doing with your hair to your SIL. You've found out she isn't going to be helpful or sympathetic. You don't have to change what you do with your hair, you just shouldn't talk about it. I know it's all new and exciting and you want to share, but 99% of the time it's best to keep it to yourself.

[curlylocks85]

I would not worry too much about it. whenever she gives her :twocents: just smile and nod and say thanks for your input and then go onto something else. Not everyone will understand the measures you take for your hair, but as long as you know that what you are doing is helping you, others opinions are just that, opinions.

[adiapalic]

If anyone wants to avoid such conversations in the presence of certain people, then anything hair-related is best left unmentioned.

I, on the other hand, would be adamant that my choice to try out an unconventional routine is just that--*mine*. If they had any negative things to say about the routine, then I would insist that conventional methods haven't worked, therefore... I'm trying something different, and it really doesn't affect them at all. If the conversation escalates a bit, then I would ask them, why are they so preoccupied with what I do with my own hair?

It seems like some people become so secure with doing what they think "everyone" is doing, because it's expected of them, that they feel the need to go just a step further and justify it by disparaging anything that's not what they do, or "different".

*sigh* :o

[emmabovary]

I don't bother telling anyone about my hair care routine if I even vaguely suspect they would screw up their face and go "no shampoo!??! But that's DIRTY!" If someone challenged me I'd be fine with defending myself and my choices, but I don't go looking for a debate.. I'm just not that kind of person.

[ericthegreat]

In this type of situation, telling a white lie really isn't all that bad. You really need to be able to sense if the person speaking with you will be accepting of what you actually do in reality or not.

As a male with very long hair, I can't help but get stared at by pretty much anyone on the street or even a casual friend or acquaintance. Whenever I get questions about my haircare routine and the usual "Is it hard to manage hair that long?" "Don't you get tons of knots and tangles?" and whatnot, I give them the kind of answer that I can intuit they want to hear.

I tell them "Yes, it is a hassle to comb out all my tangles and its a pain in the a$$ to wash." The very fact that they are asking if its hard to manage such long hair means that they already believe it is hard to do so. So I just give them the answer they already expect. When they ask me what products I use, I'll tell them I use Pantene/Loreal Paris/Garnier Fructis/whatever mainstream brand of shampoo and conditioner I see at the drugstore. There's no need to tell them about Aubrey Organics when its most likely they've never heard of it.

I certainly wouldn't tell them that I use conditioner only to rinse my hair, and certainly not that I purposely apply an oil like coconut oil or Ojon oil into my hair. I'd only be causing myself more grief because I know I would get "Eww why would you put oil in your hair that will just make it all greasy and dirty ewww!" comments.

I agree with the previous posters here. Its really best to not share your true haircare routine with people who clearly do not share the same views and opinions about haircare that you do. Avoid bringing up the subject of hair at all if you have to, and again if someone asks its okay to tell a white lie in this case.

[FrannyG]

When I was new to LHC, I wanted so much to talk about it to someone in real life.

I quickly learned to keep all things hair-related to myself and to the other members of LHC. Hope that helps. :blossom:

[wtchmel]

Heck she once washed my hair and when you ran your finger along it it SQUEEKED

PS. should your hair squeek when you run your finger down it, right after you shampoo it? I don't think it should...

I do this, I abohr(sp) oily hair(unless you're doing an oiling up with oil, or if you're sick and can't wash your hair). If I go to many days without washing (3) and the hair gets oily, i will wash it twice with my Aubrey Organics till it squeaks. Oily hair just grosses me out, and i'm very aware of it on me or anyone else.:)

I also learned my lesson years ago about telling or talking to people about the long hair or boards thing. They just don't get it, and they will get annoyed or irritated. it's best to just not say anything to anyone.

[Merewen]

Yeah, it's probably best to not share if it's going to cause a problem. I do share what I'm doing with my DF and my one closest (and open-minded and supportive) friend, but I do not share with my mom. She already knows a few parts of what I do, and she thinks that my S&D sessions are the weirdest things ever. No way I'm gonna tell her I haven't used shampoo yet this year.

[gmdiaz]

I know this is hard to believe. . .but you will soon come to learn: Hair care is not actually that exciting a topic to most everyone. ROFLOLOLOL

I am really lucky that my friends and I can laugh about it. They enjoy my obsessive compulsive interests in various things, including hair care.

[Hypnotica]

Haha! Most of my coworkers know that I'm only washing my hair 2-3 times/week. No-one has batted an eye at me. Some of them also know that I seldom uses soap for my body. I have gotten a few question as to why, but after explaining, all of them has nodded their heads in agreement.

Most of my family also knows rather in depth of my haircare routine.

[CrisDee]

I don't seek out opportunities to tell people about my haircare routine (CO, henna/cassia, etc.), but if it comes up in conversation and I start to get a negative response, I simply tell them that on the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" principle, that when I stop getting constant compliments on my hair everywhere I go, then I'll think about doing something different - but until then, I'm going to keep doing what is obviously working for me :)

[loralie]

I live with my boyfriend and his sister who moved in with us after Christmas.

It's funny, at first DB was more confused than anything- ie "what are you looking at on the internet all the time? who are you talking to?" So I had to explain that there's a whole world of people who are trying to grow their hair long, they like to talk about growing their hair long, etc. etc. He only teased for a couple of days until he realized that it's something I actually care about. Now, he takes my progress photos for me (horribly, I might add. I swear I have to get him to re take it 20 times before I'm centered, the right angle, top of my head not cut off.. haha!) Now when I bring home crazy oils and treatments or he comes home from work and my head is a greasy mess with a shower cap on it he really only asks what it is and what it does for my hair.

DSIL is another thing, haha. She's got short, fried, bright red hair that's been bleached for the last 6 years straight, never gets below her shoulders. She teases me a little more than he does... but she's starting to open up a bit. The other night she asked me what she should do about her fried ends- So I told her to help herself, there's a whole freakin' countertop of oils and hair treatments in the bathroom. She's still hard to convert though- blowdries the crap out of it. Thankfully for her hair though, she doesn't wash it more than a couple of times a week.

I've moved away from my hometown and don't have really any friends here so it's not hard to hide my obsessive hair habits- I've been known to go to superstore with a head full of shiny castor oil. Life's too short to please strangers!! Haha.

[hufsa]

I have the same opinion about my (new) hair habits as most of the others here! I just don't tell people... Most people are not interested in how others treat their hair..

When thinking about it: I didn't talk to people about it before, why start now when my routine is so "controversial" to most people...

[Capybara]

When it comes down to it, I think that everyone has a certain apprehension against things that are new. I certainly was a bit wary of putting oil in my hair, until I realized the benefits :)

If someone condemns what you're doing to your hair without trying it themselves, they have no experience in the matter, and would probably change their mind if they knew of the results you can get from "unconventional" hair-care methods. I wouldn't worry about it. Diversity is the spice of life :D

[jexichan]

My spouse gets the brunt of my healthy hair obsession, but since I've used what I've learned here to vastly improve the condition of her wurly curls, she doesn't mind. Previously her hair was so tangled that it began to dread itself.

I have several close friends that I don't mention my new hair care routine to...though I have turned basically all of them onto henna, and one to honey lightening. I wait until they ask me.

[Sarahmoon]

My hair squeaks a bit in the shower after I've cleaned it. It even squeaks a tiny little bit when it's still oily. I wouldn't worry too much about the sound, just go with what your hair feels/looks like once it's dry again.

I find it a good joke that some people think what we do to our hair is unhealthy! :laugh:
But I also laugh at myself sometimes for putting everything in my hair that makes a good salad. Oil, vinegar, eggs ;)

[*Aoife*]

Most of my friends don't know what I do. A lot of people know what I don't do, because I got into a heated "debate" about hair care in school. This was pre-LHC but I knew straightening your hair daily was bad for it.

One of my friends knows about DCing but she thinks it's weird. She also knows that I fingercomb then comb my hair because I've slept over in her house a few times. I've let slip that I don't brush my hair to another friend, but I doubt she does either because I'd say she's a 3c.

My parents think I'm insane for the amount of stuff I put in my hair. I live at home so they're there whenever I do anything to my hair. They can't understand putting food (oil, vinegar, etc) on my hair. They don't know that I CO though. I'd say they'd freak out if they knew. I even brought shampoo away with my when we went away last weekend, just so they'd think I used it.

I've learned not to say anything to anyone anymore. I just get funny looks and people thinking I'm even weirder than they already think I am! Which is highly likely, but they don't need to know that! :D

[Felix_D]

I live by myself, so no one knows what I do for my hair. And I like it just fine that way!

When my fiance and I get married and move in together, I fully expect to get lots of baffled looks and unhelpful advice. I'm just enjoying the silence for now :)
I think it'll be fine. Guys aren't really sure what our beauty routines consist of, so I'm sure he'll take it in stride.

[Sarahmoon]

And if he loves your hair, then I'm sure he'll encourage everything you do to it to make it look so lovely :)

My boyfriend washes his hair with shampoo every day and he never gave me any weird looks once he knew I don't wash my hair every day and put "unusual" stuff in it sometimes. He does comment frequently on how he likes my hair though.

[Ivy~Rose]

When I started looking into new ideas to grow my hair long, beyond shampoo and conditioner, I quickly realized my husband wouldn't be interested in most of it. He's cool with me washing my hair every other day, but he thought I was completely insane for doing my hair up in rag curls one day! I just put oil in my hair, put it up, and don't mention it.

I did tell him when I got new hair sticks, though. I was excited, I couldn't help it :)

[Joette]

The subject has come up at work a few times because one of my co-workers dyes her hair blond and had a disaster and another has decided to grow out with me. We were discussing various healthy things to do and I mentioned that I wash only once a week. Two co-workers (the one with disastrous blond and another) looked at me in absolute horror. The other commented positively on how my hair looks and marveled that it doesn't look oily even 4-5 days post-wash, which I took as a compliment. But I rather backed out of the conversation at that point, since I didn't see any reason to gross out my co-workers any more than I already had. :)

[Cirafly24]

I think it'll be fine. Guys aren't really sure what our beauty routines consist of, so I'm sure he'll take it in stride.

Hehe, he already tells me I spend too much time on my beauty routine, and he doesn't know the half of it! He thinks any time spent trying to make myself look better is wasted, because I look good no matter what.

Sweet as that is, I don't see myself through the rose colored glasses he seems to ;)

[joiekimochi]

My boyfriend doesn't really care about my routine, as long as my hair isn't dirty and oily. In fact he has a higher threshold for my hair being oily and dirty than I do! Once he came over when I was on my 4th day of not even touching water (I usually CO every other day) due to trying to finish my thesis and he didn't even care about how my hair looked and wanted to jump straight into lovey-time but I insisted I had to take a shower and wash my hair before any action began!

I don't tell other people about my routine though, except mentioning to my mom about my hair experiments in hope that she'd get the hint. She spends a small fortune every now and then on her 1a/f/i hair that is seriously thinning plus she is balding on her crown and has bad dandruff. She is utterly convinced that her hair cannot be saved so the condition must be hidden with lots of perms, dyes, highlights, severe layering, $100 shampoo, $150 condish and $300 serums. She thinks that my experiments are hogwash and my organic condish "won't work" and that I only have nice hair because I was lucky and have good genes.

But I inherited my hair from her, so that's my "good genes"! Plus I did have problems with shedding and dandruff which disappeared when I ditched the expensive salon products and started putting food on my hair, but somehow she (and most people suckered by marketing) believes that I am wrecking my hair and that "technology has invented modern haircare/skincare for a reason".

[Sarahmoon]

That reason being to make money :D