newbie here hair bored of waiting for it to grow.

[crystal_k]

hello everyone im new here
so a bit about me im 28 yr old female from uk.
my current hair is a mix of bleach and highlift tint blonde. its fine but lots of it , its currently near armpit length but i dream pf waist will ever doubt thats possible because im addicted to blonde . although i wont ever bleach my hair again.

my problem is a never ending circle of dyeing hair lighter wanting it to grow but then not thinking its light enough so breaks .then wanting it longer but needing to trim . constantly need to condition hair .

i never get past apl been like this for years because of colouring and trimming habit.
really need to learn patience how does everyone deal with waiting for their hair to grow and not get depressed when its not the length or condition you want . all advice welcome.

[renarok]

All your answers are right in your post. Repeated chemical lightening weakens hair. You know that.

You have two choices. Your light blonde hair, or healthier hair that can grow.

There are no tricks for fast hair growth.

Getting rid of bleach is a good start, but high lift hair dye is also very damaging.

Good luck.

[crystal_k]

oh i know its depressing i love long hair but then see someone with light blonde hair and then think oooooh wish i was that blonde

i have definatley gone down quite a few shades used to be platinum blonde but now a light natural blonde will try try try not to colour .

[suicides_eve]

I know how you feel about the hair dye cycle.. unfortunately, i didn't learn until my bleached hair melted from the roots off into my hand.. That did it for me. I have been growing for i think 3 years now? i can't remember.. but i have highlighted my hair gradually and found that it's ok in small doses.

I have pictures from the event that i look back on and it helps me stay focused on my goals. Hair journals also helped me get through rough times, I kinda felt like a stalker looking at everyones hair growing pictures but it gave me hope watching them grow only to find my hiar was gaining length as well.


Good luck to you.

[Bethany44]

When you get your hair super healthy (which it will be if you follow a lot of the tips on here), it is amazing how beautiful your hair will become. So even though it might not be that platinum blond shade you love, I think having shiny, healthy, natural hair can look even better. :)

[crystal_k]

yes i wish my hair was really healthy but its fine and damaged and i know will be continued damage till i lay off the colouring which is difficult for me to do . as id have to shave my head and start fresh which theres no chance of me doing. funny thing is with the right products my hair looks really healthy such as when i wash and leave in pantene conditoner it feels great .

i know im doing it all wrong lol.

[naereid]

really need to learn patience how does everyone deal with waiting for their hair to grow and not get depressed when its not the length or condition you want . all advice welcome.
I'm also only at the beginning of my journey, but I'm learning all sorts of interesting hairstyles and hair care routines here on LHC. So that can make the waiting period a little easier.

[Anje]

We do have some members here who have managed to grow their hair long while lightening it to blond. Hair that has been lightened will probably never be as healthy as it could have been if left virgin, but for some people it can still be silky and long.

Hopefully some of them will show up soon. Otherwise, search for threads with "blond" in the title. There's a "bottle blond" thread out there somewhere.
ETA: Here are two of the threads, though they haven't been touched for a while.
blonde tips and tricks (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=6310)
Bottle blonde grows long (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=21256)

[Joette]

I'm also only at the beginning of my journey, but I'm learning all sorts of interesting hairstyles and hair care routines here on LHC. So that can make the waiting period a little easier.

That's a really good point. I was seriously considering the big chop and then I found LHC and learned how to use a hairstick. It worked and I got excited. Then I found other ways to use my hairstick and now I'm combing (if you'll pardon the pun) through the forums looking for other fun things to do with my hair. I've some that I know my hair is still too short to do so now I'm excited to pamper it and grow to the point I can try them. One suggestion I'd make, though, is that if you have the ho-hums about your hair and don't feel like it's growing fast enough is to try to practice benign neglect. Oil it, put it up, and try to ignore it. It'll be getting longer before you know it!

[chopandchange]

It sounds like you already know the answer to your problem, but are hoping there's another one. Unfortunately, there isn't. Bleach is really awful for your hair. Tint isn't as bad but will not leave your hair as healthy as it would be if you just left it alone to be its natural colour.

I can totally relate to your problem because I used to be the same. I hated having brown hair (I am assuming your hair is brown, too) and thought that my hair would only look nice if it was blonde. I had tinted highlights and the tinting led to bleach and this went on for many, many years. But eventually, I decided it was better to accept my natural colour.

Which would you rather have?

A. Smooth silky glossy shiny brown, or
B. Brittle dry parched crumbling blonde.

It's a lightbulb moment that you have to experience for yourself. No one can make that decision for you. :)

[crystal_k]

actually my natural hair colour is dirty blonde probably a dark blonde
so its not hard for me to lighten up.
i should probably just leavi but i feel i dont look as eye catching with a dark shade.
hopefully i can be soo inspired by peoples natural beautiful hair i will not think that dyed blonde hair ios so great.


also im 28 and sometimes think maybe im too old for long hair as it ages you .

please tall me this isnt true thanks.

[mellie89]

Of course you aren't too old for long hair!

I also have naturally dark blond hair. I'm growing out my natural color and it's so exciting for me.

Personally, I would rather have virgin hair any day. It's lower maintenance, shinier, and the individual strands are thicker and stronger.

It comes down to a personal choice. I think dark blond shades are beautiful, however, and you should consider giving your natural color a chance.

[Capybara]

What is your natural color? I'm sure it looks great with your complexion (: Maybe you could try (using photoshop, or an online hairdo trial) to see what you'd look like with your natural color. Sometimes, it's more difficult to see the good things about your own hair than other people's hair. I'm sure yours rocks! Then, if you decide to grow out your hair so it's virgin, you could color it the shade you want. The single application would be much less harsh than many applications.

Have you ever heard of cassia? You can also lighten your hair with more natural methods, if your hair isn't too dark already, you can lighten it more with cassia or cinnamon. Here is a thread about the cinnamon: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2125

Also, it helps if you forget your hair. For me, practicing "benign neglect" was my best friend during the growing out period :D Just have fun, live your life, and before you know it you will have gorgeous hair!

HTH, good luck on your hair journey!!

[liseling]

Well the subject of whether long hair ages you comes up all the time on LHC and I've never seen anyone here agree with that. Hair is a social symbol. Personally, I think that when a woman gets older and she chooses to chop her hair off into a socially age-acceptable short style all it does is cement her in the social category of 'older woman'. I think that the pressure to conform to these categories mainly exists so that people can comfortably identify people as belonging to one or the other - I dont think it really has anything to do with whether long hair is ageing. In fact, I think long hair makes most women look younger.
And 28 is way too young to be worried about that anyways. I hate how in our society we're so youth-obsessed that even though we're living for longer and longer, we still think we're getting 'old' as soon as we turn 25 or so. There are professional athletes in their 40's nowadays! That means that they can hold their own over the thousands of younger contenders for their position on the team. And that's just professionals. Regular people are living active lives through their 80's and beyond and lifespans are only getting longer. Does it make any sense that up till the age of 25 you're 'young' and can have long hair but then before you turn 30 you have to start fitting into the 'older' category and cut it off? If we go by this standard we're living about 80% of our lives as 'old'! It really makes no sense to me and I think our concept of age needs to change now.

[chopandchange]

In my experience people with longer hair always look younger and it makes you look more girlish. I'm sure it wouldn't make you look older. I am also in my late twenties. When I went to join a spinning class, the first thing they said was "the class is not open to minors" and they almost IDd me because they thought I was under 18! I was wearing my hair in two plaits. I'm sure that had something to do with it. :)

When you say you want to be eye-catching, do you mean eye-catching to men? I used to think blondes were more attractive to men and that my natural hair colour wouldn't get me as much male attention. I was right, it doesn't - but to be honest, I don't really care what people think of me any more. If people don't find authenticity attractive, maybe they are the kind of shallow men who are not worth bothering about anyway. :)

[starlights]

Hi!

well im the same age as you & like you i have no patience for my hair ! LOL

the best thing you can do is see the end goal in your sight: imagine how wonderful you would feel after caring for your hair and eventually it reaching waist! and people complimenting you!

i was like you too, i felt like my hair never grew, it was damaged... but stick at it!

with the right hair care you will get there in the end with waist hair!

i know because i did!

another thing have supportive friends who encourage your hair growth... that way you wont steer off track !

[Dreams_in_Pink]

hmmm,

1) ever thought of extensions?
2) maybe a darker shade of blonde?
3) try putting blonde highlights. Then at least some of your hair will reach goal length.
4) get a blond wig?

sorry if these were mentioned earlier :o

[LaurelSpring]

It is hard to wait for your hair to grow!!!!! I have been here for two years now and sometimes I get so frustrated wanting it to be longer NOW! I just took and posted my two year anniversary picture and I was so happy and surprised to see that it had definately grown and looked much healthier. So, it will happen. You just have to hang in there.

I have seen several members that do color blonde and grow. I think I remember that frannyg colors and has her own website. There is also a thread that has been going around for awhile about using coconut oil before coloring to minimize the damage. I think it is definately possible to color and find ways to keep your hair as healthy as possible while you do it so that you avoid damage. Keep poking around here on the site and Im sure you will find some good tips that will help you achieve your goals.

[Yarn Muse]

Hi and welcome! Gee, if you're too old for long hair then a LOT of us here on LHC should just throw in the towel and chop! Where did that idea come from anyway? Trends come and go. I'm 20 years older than you and just last fall decided to grow mine longer.

I kept mine shoulder length for years, and colored it a shade or two blonder. Then I went red, which was fun, but it all damaged my hair. (I used the boxed chemical colors.) Now I haven't colored in 15 months, and my new growth is SO much softer and silkier! I forgot it could be that way. I have some grays at the hairline and on top, so I do use henna glosses about once a month, which makes my grays golden. Henna, cassia, etc., are plant dyes which will not harm your hair, if you use the pure stuff. (Check out the Henna section of the forum for more info.) However, they only coat your hair with color; they do not lighten like bleach.

Put down the bleach and walk away! LOL You'll never know how shiny and beautiful your natural color could be unless you try. You can ALWAYS do something later if you truly hate it--highlights, henna, whatever--but why not give your natural color a try?

[Bellalalala]

OMG,

I went through the *EXACT* same process as you.

I LOVE blond hair. LOVE IT.
I have loved blond hair since I was a little kid and have never quite gotten over the fact that I have brown hair.

I started dying my hair right when I turned 14 and did so all through my life until 2 years ago (I'm 28 as well). I did every colour under the sun, but always went back to blond. I would get sick of the damage, go darker, end up almost black trying to deal with multi-coloured roots, grow out some natural hair, then chop and go right back to blond.

I've had a blond addiction for years. It's a problem.

What FINALLY got me was seeing a picture of myself the summer before I first dyed my hair. It was about waist length and absolutely stunning. I couldn't believe my eyes that the "mousy brown, boring hair" was actually sunny, deep golden/amber, shiny, depth of colour, perfect wave, brown.

The photo was taken from afar and in natural light, so it really shows what my actual colour is, and it's beautiful.
Much, MUCH more beautiful than even the freshest, glossiest, translucent blond I've ever obtained from dye.

It's taken a huge amount of discipline, and I still have to slap my own wrist when I look at my long virgin hair and think "hmm...I could easily lighten it *just a little* without hurting it too much."
However, after 2 years of growing it through the awkward stage, I've learned to say no to the dye-monster and accept my hair as it is. Learning to not rely on heat styling, and embrace my natural curl has also been enormous in helping me accept my natural colour.

Now I work towards encouraging my hair's natural beauty instead of beating my hair into submission into an artificial beauty.

[crystal_k]

belalaa sorry spelt wrong lol. your hair does look very pretty v nice condition. im gonna try and leave it for as long as poss and if anything only tint the top section and grow out the underneath parts which ive been doing for a while anyway the top parts are a bit broken though grrrrrrr.i think the problem is when we do try and force our hair into something its not.

i am definately going to be kinder to my hair from right now i owe it to myself
thankyou everyone for your imput
xx

[Fractalsofhair]

Definitely only dye your roots from now on.That should help reduce your damage, as will be the case if you're gentle with it and don't flat iron it and such.

[MonikaHa]

I soooo understand what you mean.
I have been blonde for about 10 years now, length between BSL and waist, and the key to a good blonde is to only color when you absolutely have to, only do it on the roots, and don't do anything else to it. No blowfrying, no flat irons, etc.

Since I had to cut my long blond locks not so long ago, I am considering growing it out in my natural color *scary*. My natural color is this mousy gray blonde with lots of silver in it. Waaay too dark for me.
Anyway, I thought I'd share. :)

[Bellona]

Here's what I am doing/have done in the past:

I don't know how dark your hair is naturally, but mine is sort of a medium blonde. I prefer the light blonde color on me, but I know it's damaging. I allow myself to get highlights every 6 months or so when I reach my goal at waist and maintain there. I DO NOT color it as it is growing, and yes that means putting up with some two tone issues from past dye. If I keep good care of it, the highlights don't do too much damage, but then again, I don't have fine hair, so it might be different in that regard. I just put up with the darker shade until I get to where I want to be. I usually end up cutting because I'm bored, but this time I'm not going to cut when I get to waist :)

[princessp]

Well the subject of whether long hair ages you comes up all the time on LHC and I've never seen anyone here agree with that.

I absolutely love gorgeous long grey/white hair and I am so disheartened if I hear people say things such as "s/he's too old for it" or "older people should only do/wear x,y or z". As far as I'm concerned these kinds of comments are ridiculous. You should do what you feel good about. Cultural/social conventions are very fluid and truly they don't really mean anything. I actually have no idea if having long hair is in style right now, but I think everyone here probably agrees there is nothing more lovely on any age/gender.

[Bellalalala]

I absolutely love gorgeous long grey/white hair and I am so disheartened if I hear people say things such as "s/he's too old for it" or "older people should only do/wear x,y or z". As far as I'm concerned these kinds of comments are ridiculous. You should do what you feel good about. Cultural/social conventions are very fluid and truly they don't really mean anything. I actually have no idea if having long hair is in style right now, but I think everyone here probably agrees there is nothing more lovely on any age/gender.

I agree.

However, I must admit that I personally do find too light hair very aging on women at a certain age. It differs for each woman at what age I find it less flattering, but certainly, I've seen a lot of blond women go darker and look much, much younger as a result.

I'm in my late 20s, and with my extremely fair skin tone, I think I'm already past the age that light blond hair will be most flattering. I think it would age me compared to my natural tone now.

I also find roots aging, at least on me.
I personally think it's a lot harder to pull off the dual tone of having roots when facial skin is less even and fresh looking as time goes on. Dark roots weren't a problem at 19 at all. However, even at 25 they started making me look washed out.

[Yarn Muse]

Crystal,

Here are a couple photos of my hair growing out. (Hope this works!) I haven't colored chemically in 15 months. The bottom brassy part is old red dye...not any red left really, just the underneath bleached part after the red washed out. I really like my own color that is growing out. Good luck to you.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4032/4441943151_d8c4b39606.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2782/4442719898_724f30c0a4.jpg

[crystal_k]

good work and progress im definately not going to colour for 2 months now and see how i feel .

[Fethenwen]

I would suggest toning down your blond to a color that is more close to your own. That way you could even stop dying it all together if you want to, without getting too much roots showing up when your hair grows.

Personally I find dark blonde hair to be really beautiful, because of it's different shades and character. I find platinum to be a bit too flat of a color.

Taking care of your hair really makes it grow nicely :)

Things to avoid:

1. Flat-iron
2. Blowdryer
3. Hair styling products like hairspray (use with care and never brush it out!)
4. Washing your hair too often

Things to make it even better:

1. Deep condition, you may use ready made deep conditioning products, or maybe try some natural hair care like deep oiling

2. Leave in conditioners are great for damaged hair, I suggest using coconut oil too from time to time.

3. Another tip is to cover your ends in conditioner before you shampoo, don't shampoo your ends, only your scalp.

Happy growing :flower:

[crystal_k]

great tips i wore my hair up oiled today which is a first for me went out and bought some coconut oil and catnip stuff
and im sd as i read the forums for tips
hair journey has begun xx

[Fethenwen]

Hey that's great! Welcome on the journey :cheer:

[chopandchange]

Yay! I'm "rooting" for you, Crystal (pardon the pun). :o

[crystal_k]

yep never managed to get past apl only time my hair was long waist in fact was when i was about 5 yrs old
would love to there again but i will aim for bra strap hopefully try and do it in 6 mnths hope this is reasonable just started biotin msm and cod liver oil and silica
but must repeat must stay off hair dye lol