View Full Version : What would you do?

March 15th, 2010, 12:05 AM
My husband and I were out at a bar last night and I decided to wear my hair down. The place we went to was quite crowded and we were walking through the crowd, trying to make it up to the bar. All of a sudden I felt my hair being lightly tugged. I turned around and a woman was looking at her boyfriend and laughing right behind me. I wasn't sure, but I got the feeling that he had tugged my hair.

I didn't know what to do at the time, so I didn't say anything and we left right after that because the place was too crowded. But now I feel like I should have spoken up and said something.

What would you have down in this situation? Have any of you experienced this? :confused: I feel stupid for not saying anything. :(

March 15th, 2010, 12:07 AM
I would have turned around and told them off good and proper but with decorum !!!!

March 15th, 2010, 12:19 AM
I would have given them the evil eye and said, "Really? Didn't your mother ever tell you to keep your hands to yourself?" And then promptly turn away and ignore them.

March 15th, 2010, 12:23 AM
You glare at them and get your man to defend your honor!
Haha, kidding.
I had the same thing happen to me all the time in middle school crowds, so I guess when people drink they get back to a 12-year-old level of maturity. They just want to get a rise out of you so the best you can do is be mature and give them the "what are you doing" look, and not the "I hate your guts" look.
Maybe then they'll get a sense that they've done something stupid, because they have.

March 15th, 2010, 12:26 AM
I am so sorry friend...I think initially we all have the "Turn around and pour your drink down their back reaction"....BUT often times we have to be better than that.. So It was probably to loud for them even to have heard you and your words of wisdom for one, another they may have been too drunk to have gotten anything as well... So before the boxing gloves :boxer:go on next time you are walking into an establishment just take your hair and pull it around in front of you like a scarf. Or even a sweet up-do before hand. That way you can protect it, and no one can do anything to you.. I have unfortunely learned this the hard way, beer spilled on my hair, cigarettes flicked in my hair(not mine) I dont smoke..Just incoherent, drunken bafoons that dont realise they are concious. I do understand!!!!XOXO

March 15th, 2010, 12:28 AM
Most likely I would have said 'excuse me' all long and drawn out. If it was me a year ago I probably would have grabbed the hair she had and yanked it backwards until she was as far back as she could go and then I would have yelled. But as I said, that would have been my reaction a year ago.

March 15th, 2010, 12:30 AM
Thank you, everyone, for the words of encouragement and the suggestions for what to do next time (hopefully there will never be a next time)! I was so stunned that I just didn't know what to do and I couldn't even believe that had just happened. It didn't hurt at all, it was just a light tug. Maybe he (or she) was just curious about what my hair felt like, but that is no excuse for touching a stranger's hair!

Thanks again for your support and kind words! :flower:

March 15th, 2010, 12:33 AM
...I have unfortunely learned this the hard way, beer spilled on my hair, cigarettes flicked in my hair(not mine) I dont smoke..Just incoherent, drunken bafoons that dont realise they are concious. I do understand!!!!XOXO

Oh my gosh! Cigarettes flicked on your hair!? How horrible!

I'm really sorry that happened to you Aicha :( Do you think maybe it was a coincidence that the woman was laughing and maybe your hair just got caught on something?

It's easy for me to think up a bunch of snappy come-backs now, but in all honesty if this would have happened to me I know I would have ignored it and pretended like I didn't notice. I wish I were more assertive in situations like that but I always find myself ignoring little problems like that. I haven't yet decided if that's a "flaw" I should work on or an acceptable way of dealing with things...

March 15th, 2010, 12:37 AM
Hopefully they were just drunk and stupid; and not acting like their normal sober selves. I'm not sure what I would have done in that situation; I probably would have been too stunned myself to say something--Unless it was a pretty serious tug...That's why I don't wear my hair down...At least not in public.

March 15th, 2010, 12:50 AM
I'd have gone up right to his face and said "You got a problem, friend?"
People don't know how to react when you show a little teeth.

March 15th, 2010, 01:09 AM
I'd have gone up right to his face and said "You got a problem, friend?"
People don't know how to react when you show a little teeth.

Hehehe, I like that saying, "show a little teeth" :p True, true!

March 15th, 2010, 01:19 AM
Sorry to hear this happened to you. it used to happen to me alot before TLHC when i had TBL hair. i wore it down all the time and it always got caught on something or someone ;). i normally would see what it was caught on, and if it was a person i looked real closely at their clothing and faces before saying anything. but i used to be quite a naughty girl and scream at anyone who touched my hair or other body parts *by accident* I even went so far as to actually grab a guy *there* when he would not stop brushing my tush with his fingers and appologising later. told him * you are sick and perverted* got him thrown out for ever from that club.

I mean it's ok if someone asks you if they can touch your hair but for someone to simply grab it as you walk by....not good. i did that once when i was on a rollercoaster, the girl in front of me had very long hair and it wiped at my face whenever she lifted her arms so i grabbed it and kept it under control until the rollercoaster stopped. I mean if i had not it could have gotten caught on something and caused a bad accident.

Next time (cross fingers and it does not ever happen again, ) just look at them and if they did grab your hair glare, then ignore them. some people just don't know what manners are.

March 15th, 2010, 01:20 AM
A similar thing happened to me. About 3 years ago I was at a festival with my family and friends. It was outside and the streets were crowded. We were standing and watching the show when a homeless-looking man (probably drunk, too) touched the end of my hair. shudder::steam:tmi::justy:
I didn't say anything, just walked away with my friends. I should've kick him or something... :angry:

March 15th, 2010, 01:43 AM
I know what I would have done.....it would have been a full on bar fight if he did that to me! I think I could win too ;)

March 15th, 2010, 01:58 AM
Well, you ask how I would react, which is: I would be uncertain if it was on purpose (could it have gotten caught on someone's purse/ring/whatever?), and just hurry away quickly after glancing behind me to see if there was someone there that could have tugged it. Then I would wonder the rest of the evening whether they meant to do that or not, and then forgotten about it.

March 15th, 2010, 03:09 AM
Not a thing. I'd assume it was accidental, and it's just one of the risks of wearing my hair down.


March 15th, 2010, 08:17 AM
I probably would not say/do anything, either. As an earlier poster mentioned, if they pulled your hair intentionally, they were behaving like middle-schoolers. (I should know- I teach 8th grade.) Students will touch/pet my hair while walking down the hall and I do turn and raise an eyebrow and sometimes say, "You're not touching me, are you?" Usually these kids are just curious and are embarrassed when I confront them, though (but I want to make sure they learn that you can't just walk around touching every one). If they were doing it maliciously, then I would not react because that would only encourage further inappropriate behavior. Treat people like that the way you would treat a middle school bully and you'll be fine. :) Oh, and I would wear my hair up or pull it in front of my shoulder in crowded situations to protect it from all types of "accidents."

March 15th, 2010, 08:24 AM
Personally, I'd probably raise an eyebrow and go about my business. :hmm: or go all kung fuey on them, depending on my mood :p

March 15th, 2010, 09:27 AM
I would have touched him - with my fist! Nah, not really. I probably would have scowled and continued onwards. Some people's kids...

March 15th, 2010, 10:07 AM
lolol about . . .Don't make me go all Kung Fuey!

I wouldn't have worn my hair down. . .BUT if I had. . .I would have just stomped right back there and said, Excuse me! That's attached you know? *insert glare* Depending on their response. . .who knows. Might go all Kung Fuey; might laugh.

But really, I am all about avoiding bad situations. . .so I would have worn my hair up.

March 15th, 2010, 10:36 AM
I would ignore it.
But there is always the option of screaming "ARE YOU WIPING YOUR DIRTY HANDS IN MY HAIR??!!?" :D

March 15th, 2010, 10:39 AM
I would have pulled my hair in front of one shoulder so I could keep an eye on it.

March 15th, 2010, 10:42 AM
Honestly, I probably would not have done anything other than give them a look. I wouldn't want to escalate the situation. I am shy though.

March 15th, 2010, 11:03 AM
In my opinion, there's little to be gained from getting all hissy cat at a drunk. They're inhibitions are lowered -- which is why the hair touching happened in the first place, I'm sure -- which makes it much easier for what would normally be a civil discussion (though at volume!) escalate into something truly ugly. I tended bar for years and had nearly every body part you can imagine grabbed at one point or another. I generally handled it the way a PP said, as though the offender is a middle schooler, for the first offense. If that didn't stop the behavior, second warning would be "Do you want me to speak to the manager?" Third strike, you're out; the manager is notified and my request is that the offender be escorted off property. I know when I was working the scene, if a customer complained to me about someone getting grabby and said they wanted them to leave, I'd have made it happen.

March 15th, 2010, 11:09 AM
Personally I would have said
"gross, I don't even know where your hands have been. Please do not touch my hair..see that bouncer over there, he's my man" :D

March 15th, 2010, 11:20 AM
What one should do is ignore it. Sadly I have a hideous temper - only a few days ago I ended up shouting at a teenaged boy because he took my hat off. It wasn't right of him, but I was worse. Sometimes I despair that I'll ever manage to grow up.

March 15th, 2010, 11:40 AM
It's quite possible that it was an accident. Maybe he got it caught on something as he was sitting down or moving or stretching and didn't notice. She could've been laughing at a joke or something and it was purely coincidental. I just wanted to offer another alternative to simple meanspiritedness. You do have lovely long hair. I'm sure it could get caught on all kinds of things and people in a crowded room.

March 15th, 2010, 03:35 PM
it depends was he cute?? :p

March 15th, 2010, 04:20 PM
I would have thrown a fit big enought to attract a bouncer and make sure the guy and gal were thrown out, or they would just think I was crazy. Either way, the hair doesn't get touched anymore ;)

March 15th, 2010, 04:38 PM
I wouldn't have done anything; I would just assume it was an accident and a pure coincidence that she was laughing. However, I rarely wear my hair down, and when I do it's usually in front of my shoulder in crowded spaces.

March 16th, 2010, 12:10 AM
Thanks for all the helpful replies, everyone. I appreciate it! I'm glad I reacted the way I did, that is, I did nothing other than turn around and look at them (with a slight glare). I wasn't 100% sure the hair tug was intentional, so there was no point getting angry over what might have just been an innocent accident. But in the future, if I do wear my hair down, I'll be sure to at least pull my hair over my shoulder when walking through a crowded area.

Thanks again for your replies and commiseration! :)

March 16th, 2010, 12:30 AM
I would have turned around and told them off good and proper but with decorum !!!!

I wouldnt have had to worry about what to do or have much time to think about it or even say it had I tried - you see my hubby would have made a couple effortless moves (without so much as his heartbeat raising) and the guy would have been unconscious for a few minutes! ;-)

I myself would have ran or hid under a table! ;-) I think its because of my nature that he is so protective...

(I do the over the shoulder trick in crowds myself)

March 16th, 2010, 05:18 AM
If I knew it was intentional, I'd probably ask for name and address, and when they asked why, 'so my solicitor knows where to contact you regarding the assault case I'll be filing'.

Mind you, I'd probably have to be in a really p**d off mode to do that, and I'd probably have my hair in front so that I didn't get it caught on anything unintentionally anyway, I already manage to catch sleeves/ties on door handles and so on, wouldn't want to catch hair on stuff as well!

March 16th, 2010, 05:47 AM
I can't stand clubs I'd have said what the f are you cackling at, people usually don't expect it but if they come back with some stupid remark I'd have said you touch me again that'll be the last thing you do lol but sometimes it's better to just not let it get to you I mean hair tugging thats fine but if its hard like yanking the hair I'd have turned around fast and try to elbow or punch its self defense in the end when people are pulling your hair it can be taken as a threat