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LucyHope
March 9th, 2010, 01:49 AM
N.B. I just did a quick search and didn't find anything specifically on this topic so far, but! apologies if I'm repeating anything significant.

I just spent a very interested couple of hours reading through this thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=33529&highlight=1920s) on prejudice against long hair, and the fabulous Sometimes It's Not Jealousy (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=22917).

This made me think of my own prejudices and preconceptions on long hair - and then wonder about everyone else's! :)

So:

What prejudices and preconceptions, for OR against any aspect of long hair, did you have when you first joined TLHC? Have they changed, and how?

(E.G. Were/are you creeped out by hair beyond a certain length? Totally against fairytale ends? Critical of heat styling/chemical dyeing/washing too much or too little? Convinced that people who stop at BSL aren't really "committed" to long hair? Still not fond of long hair on men/older women/shorties/tall folk/big or round people?)

Enquiring minds want to know!

Or... at least, I do. :D

bte
March 9th, 2010, 02:32 AM
I started off with the assumption that more was better, but I have learned that that isn't always so.

Hypnotica
March 9th, 2010, 02:38 AM
I vowed to myself to never let my hair fairy tail as I my hair isn't that thick to begin with.
Then when my ends were to begin to show these signs, I found out that it is so much easier to get those ends to stay inside the updo.

Svenja
March 9th, 2010, 02:48 AM
I learned that less is sometimes more: in lengths as well as in pampering.

Thinthondiel
March 9th, 2010, 04:04 AM
When I first came here, I thought some of the hair lengths on here were excessive, and I thought fairytale ends (the see-through kind, not the wurly kind) looked scraggly.

FrannyG
March 9th, 2010, 04:30 AM
When I first came here, I was all about growing my hair with no regard for trims or past damage. I learned how to take care of my hair properly, and eventually I realized that it was okay to cut out the old damaged hair.

I've learned that I would rather have quality over quantity. If I can make it to my goal with quality hair, then fine. If it won't get past waist length without looking ratty, then I'll stick at waist when the time comes. Or even shorter if necessary.

KnightsLady
March 9th, 2010, 05:02 AM
Were/are you creeped out by hair beyond a certain length?
Yes. About 10-12 years ago when I started looking on the internet at long hair anything past about waist length started to give me the heebie jeebies, but was also strangely facinating. However, the longer I looked at it the more normal it became, so much so that at some point short hair started to look odd when I watched people in the street.

Totally against fairytale ends?
Used to be. Rather like hair length, now blunt cuts don't look quite right, rather sort of unfinished. I'm also curious to know (and experience) if it really is easier to tie off updos with fairytales.

Critical of heat styling/chemical dyeing/washing too much or too little?
I notice chemically treated, heat treated and shampooed hair far more now. Healthy well looked after hair is not as common as I would have expected. This morning on the bus I caught myself checking out/analysing the difference between well shampooed hair (sort of fluffy looking), coloured and more natural looking (airdried) hair.

Convinced that people who stop at BSL aren't really "committed" to long hair?
Yep, when the person constantly cutting at BSL is me!

Still not fond of long hair on men/older women/shorties/tall folk/big or round people?
I've heard it said, but not had the bias myself, that only tall people can have long hair. Sounded like a strange idea to me, because it's all relative.. :shrug:

Bonkers57
March 9th, 2010, 07:06 AM
Were/are you creeped out by hair beyond a certain length?

Never. I saw it as a curiosity, but wasn't creeped out by it. I always thought it was kinda cool :D


Totally against fairytale ends?

I wouldn't have them myself because IMO they look straggly and that's not the look I'm going for. But if someone else wants them, that's fine.


Critical of heat styling/chemical dyeing/washing too much or too little?

I've stopped a lot of that since coming to LHC. Mine's still too short to do nothing with it, so when I want to look presentable I direct the ends with a curling iron, especially the bangs. What others do with theirs is their business.


Convinced that people who stop at BSL aren't really "committed" to long hair?

Absolutely not because BSL is my goal! :D I'm not doing this for attention or to make a statement. I simply want healthy hair that I can style easily, as in ponies, updos and buns and still look well-groomed, professional or whatever.


Still not fond of long hair on men/older women/shorties/tall folk/big or round people?)


Nope. I think anyone that wants long hair should go for it :cheese:

JenniferNoel
March 9th, 2010, 07:07 AM
Call me a weirdo if you'd like, but I've never really had any. I grew up with TBL hair, and no matter what I did, how short I cut, or how damaged my hair was, I've always loved long hair. :)

ilovelonghair
March 9th, 2010, 07:42 AM
I thought fairy tale ends were ugly and looked unhealthy, now I have them, still growing them out, but will keep them at terminal length.

I thought that dying wasn't that damaging, now I henna I see the difference.

I thought that blow drying couldn't really harm.

And very very long ago I believed the tv commercials with beautiful hair, until later I found out that hair in commercials are just wigs, and doesn't even look natural.

I thought that split ends couldn't travel up and I just kept them

Hiriel
March 9th, 2010, 12:23 PM
Hm, I'm not really sure what I thought about these things before I came here, because if there's one thing I know about me before LHC: I did not think about hair as much I do now! :D

My idea of how long your hair can be has certainly changed, but I've always liked long hair, and can't remember ever seeing hair and thinking "hey, that's too long for you". But my idea of how long hair can be before I think "holy cow, that hair is crazy long!" (crazy long is not too long ;)) has probably changed dramatically.

ETA: Before I came here, I seriously didn't know people actually used flat irons or curling irons. I mean, I thought you might use them once in a while, for things like a ball or very fancy party. I honestly had no idea there were people who used them daily. And I thought only people with short hair used hair driers. Yes, really. *laughs at self*

LucyHope
March 9th, 2010, 01:44 PM
Having let the conversation start, I should add my 10c (we don't have 1, 2, or 5c coins here!)

First up: two blunt admissions -

1) I did, and do, have a bit of a visceral "urk" reaction to hair below tailbone length. It's not that I don't think it's beautiful or healthy, there's just some instinctual reaction in me that hits the "freeze" part of "fight, flight or freeze", and I don't know why. Maybe it's that hair of that length seems so "big" that some subconscious part of me thinks it's going to take over somehow. :eyebrows: Each time, it gets more beautiful the more I look at it, but there's always this "urk" before I get to that point.

2) I still have an issue with fairytale ends. I think this is for two reasons - first, that since my teens I've battled fluffy, fuzzy, bouffy hair, and from 15-18 years my (blunt-cut) ends were broken and thinner than the bouff above, and it looked awful. So I associate whispy ends with unhealthy hair (not logically, just instinctively). Second, I grew up with lots of people who had fairytale ends, and very few of them took good care of their hair. So the connection was unfortunately glued for me at a very early age.

My other, less instinctive, p&ps are:

- I rarely find long hair on men personally attractive. This isn't to say that there aren't guys who look good with long hair, or that long hair on men is morally or socially "wrong", just that if I find long hair looking good on a man, it is usually aesthetically, and not personally, pleasing. I grew up around long-haired men, so it's not a cultural thing. Um? Did that make sense? :ponder:

- I have a horror of common cosmetic chemicals (cones, sulphates, parabens, ammonia, etc.) and can't understand why anyone would want to douse themselves in them regularly - in haircare or anywhere else! This is completely because I can't tolerate them myself, and there are a lot of stories out there about the possible adverse health effects. It's not a case of "U R DOING IT WRONG", but "Wow, I SO can't do that, how on earth can you do it without any adverse effects?" type confusion. :)

So. Hope I made some sense and didn't waffle too much.

farewell_nancy
March 9th, 2010, 01:54 PM
I thought that a decent percentage of longhairs loved the Ren Fair, or at least a greater percentage than that of the general public. That particular preconception has not been rocked (though there's nothing wrong with liking the Ren Fair).

Rhiannon7
March 9th, 2010, 02:26 PM
Were/are you creeped out by hair beyond a certain length?

I grew up with very long hair women and men around me, so i never was creeped out. My grandmother and mom had classic length hair. I have 2 braids from my great-grandfather who cut them when he was 18 years old and when i used to tie them to my braids at ear level they reach knee length. Plus i've always loved to see long hair in men. (maybe i've got a little of the fascination for native american men who have long hair? when i was a teen i lived at a native american community for 6 months and everyone except babies had waist or longer hair. )


Totally against fairytale ends?

On me, yes. since i have baby fine hair the fairytale ends look transparent and ratty. but love to see them on others, i am fascinated also by the medieval hair in women.


Critical of heat styling/chemical dyeing/washing too much or too little?

Heat styling: yes for those who do it every day or twice a day and use the hotter setting to dry or straighten.
Chemical dyeing: it's up to the person, as long as they take care of their hair.
Washing too much/too little: it depends on the smell mostly. if someone who works hard and does not even rinse their hair and body and work hard again every day without at least rinsing their hair might bother me. specially if they stand over me on the bus.

Convinced that people who stop at BSL aren't really "committed" to long hair?

It depends on the person, you do with your hair what you feel good about. if you want long hair that's great, if you want or need shorter hair then that is ok. as long as you're happy.


Still not fond of long hair on men/older women/shorties/tall folk/big or round people?

I love long hair as long as it is cared for no matter how you look /who you are. i cringe when i see people with dyed, blow fried and messy hair that totally looks horrible. I saw this woman today at the supermarket whose hair was a rats nest. honestly it was damaged, looked like she stuck her finger in a wall socket repeatedly and was complaining alot about not finding the right products to make her hair look smooth. she explained to the model who was showing off the products that she blow dried twice a day, washed twice a day and straightened three times a day because her curly hair did not smooth down. plus she also dyed twice a month! I wanted to go and (Remember that fitness/diet guru who screamed **stop the insanity!** ) that's what i wanted to do. just go to her and tell her to stop trying to smooth her curly locks and love her curls! but i bit my tongue and walked away.

MandyBeth
March 9th, 2010, 02:31 PM
I never saw the long hair in terms of past BSL as healthy, simply because I'm in an area were we believe in the higher the hair, the closer to God theory - so hair is frequently/often teased, backcombed, sprayed, curled and otherwise tormented to stand to great heights.

Alas, I still see those people. Now I want to slather their poor hair in conditioner, but I'm not mentally cutting as many people's hair.

However, the one look that I see almost exclusively on APL-BSL hair here - the reverse skunk stripe. Yes, very nice if you don't want to bleach your hair to fried anymore - but I'm in land of "We are frugal. I only bleach every 8 weeks, 12 if the budget is tight." look, so there are very clear levels of damage where the natural color is at top, then progressively turns to monkey butt orange at which point it splits, thus lighter, and then it falls off.

But for any and all nasty comments - I know, my hair isn't any better.

Bonkers57
March 9th, 2010, 03:00 PM
**Raises hand** I love Renfaires! :joy:


I thought that a decent percentage of longhairs loved the Ren Fair, or at least a greater percentage than that of the general public. That particular preconception has not been rocked (though there's nothing wrong with liking the Ren Fair).

paperwhite
March 9th, 2010, 03:19 PM
Honestly, I didn't have any prejudices or preconceptions about people with long hair before I joined this site. It's really rare to see someone with exceptionally long hair in my area and those that I have seen...well, let's just say that I haven't seen (IRL) any really long hair that I've ever wanted on my own head. That didn't make me think that all people with long hair mistreat it, though.

I know a lot of people, mostly women, who have beautiful, beautiful hair, but none of them have grown it to longer lengths. I'd love to see them do it, though! To each their own, I suppose.

Even after joining, I can't think of any prejudices or pre/misconceptions regarding hair. I definitely think about it more consciously than I did before and I take better care of mine (eliminating certain ingredients, using oils and other products for deep treatments), but I pretty much keep my judgments to my own hair (I tend to be a little critical about it, but that's just me).

sibiryachka
March 9th, 2010, 03:36 PM
Actually, one of my worst prejudices goes the exact opposite direction: I have a visceral gack reaction to men with shaved heads. Natural balding, no worries, but the shaved/shiny thing... I'll be very grateful when that fashion dies out!

Mamakash
March 9th, 2010, 06:54 PM
What prejudices and preconceptions, for OR against any aspect of long hair, did you have when you first joined TLHC? Have they changed, and how?

Seeing so many people on board striving for long hair made me realize you're never to old to have long hair. And you're never too old to start growing longer/better hair. It's made me appreciate my hair and start experimenting with new products. I respect my hair now.
And I try to tell and long haired woman I like their hair whenever I can. :D

Roseate
March 9th, 2010, 07:16 PM
Hm, I'm not really sure what I thought about these things before I came here, because if there's one thing I know about me before LHC: I did not think about hair as much I do now! :D

I second this! I thought about my own hair a little, and other people's not at all. I had no clue what fairy-tale ends were, and I thought hair longer than tailbone might get... inconvenient, but it didn't really enter my mind that often.

Now I'm peering at strangers' buns in the street, thinking "is that a Nautilus?". In a hot-spring full of naked people recently, I was checking out the caramel lotus Ficcare on someone's head! I have gone hair-brained.:p

Aer
March 9th, 2010, 07:26 PM
Long hair at any length never bothered me. Fairy tale ends never did either.
But I did have prejudice feelings about chemical hair care, especially dyes/bleach and assumed that those that used heated hair tools couldn't possibly really have nice hair, but since coming here, I've realized that some people can have perfectly beautiful hair and use these things. I don't still, but I've learned that just because something doesn't work for me, doesn't mean that it doesn't work for another.

Aer
March 9th, 2010, 07:27 PM
Oops! Double post!

ilovelonghair
March 9th, 2010, 09:26 PM
Were/are you creeped out by hair beyond a certain length?

I grew up with very long hair women and men around me, so i never was creeped out. My grandmother and mom had classic length hair. I have 2 braids from my great-grandfather who cut them when he was 18 years old and when i used to tie them to my braids at ear level they reach knee length. Plus i've always loved to see long hair in men. (maybe i've got a little of the fascination for native american men who have long hair? when i was a teen i lived at a native american community for 6 months and everyone except babies had waist or longer hair. )

When I was little, men had long hair, so I found that normal. Only my mother would always say how awful it was (even my dad had it long at one stage)
But I still have got a prejudice on long hair when someone has a receding hair line, that should be covered with something (the receding hairline that is) and it would be fine.

I do have opposite prejudices :(: I find people with shaven of buzzed heads scary (buzzed is less scary than shaven). I know it's not nice of me :(

Marz Hase
March 9th, 2010, 09:57 PM
*raises hand* I still have problems with fairy tale ends... then again, I'm new, so I don't really know any better. They just seem scraggly... if that's even a word. Something to be chopped off, you know? I am getting better, though!

Quixii
March 9th, 2010, 11:44 PM
I think I'm guilty of a lot of the things you mention in your first post. I'm going to go ahead and make this post, and beg people not be offended as I mean no offence; I'm just answering the question as asked. :o

When I first joined, I was totally against fairy tail ends. In fact, I still remember one of my very first posts here was talking about some girl I saw walking down the street with knee length hair, "but the ends were all wispy and gross" and so on. :( Now I have a certain appreciation/acceptance of fairytale ends, and regret ever saying that. I am still undecided how fond I am of them on my own hair, though.
Also not washing very often. Typing online to various people, I don't care much about whether they've washed their hair in the last week, and thought I had come to accept it. But then I heard someone in real life talking about stretching washes to once a week or so, and it totally grossed me out. She also mentioned WO method, and I just feel like their hair must be so unclean. I guess it's one of those "I'm okay with it in theory" things.
I also feel like people only growing to BSL or shorter are.. let's see, how to put this nicely.. a little silly for being on a long hair forum? That still sounds mean. There's nothing wrong with it, and I understand that they're just trying to grow their hair as healthily as possible and whatnot. But I almost feel like their cheating a bit. Aiming to be a C average student instead of that A... not that longer hair is better. Arg, I don't know what I'm getting at. >.<
And heat styling long hair. I feel like that should be against the law or something. I don't know, heat styling in general irks me, but it seems especially "wrong" on longer hair.

This post sounded mean. :(

JamieLeigh
March 10th, 2010, 10:19 AM
I had the misconception that I had to shampoo every other day in order to have clean, manageable and nice hair! ;)

As for appearance-based prejudices? The same still apply, and none have to do with body type, or age, or gender, or race. They have to do with the level of caring about one's appearance.

I love all types of long hair, and after being here a year and a half, I can tell the difference between hair that is taken care of and hair that is not. While it might not seem like an obvious difference to the untrained eye (yes, I consider myself to be "trained" now that I've been staring at the backs of people's heads for so long! :p), I can tell when it is being groomed and when it's just being left to its own. And I will always delight more in the hair that has been obviously (to me) taken care of. :flower:

MandyBeth
March 10th, 2010, 10:22 AM
I will say LHC has taught me what fairy tale ends are. Also, I use the term for people who are growing out layers or just have their natural hem lines. But the ones who have massacred blow fryed, straightened and bleached hair that is clearly breaking at the ends - that's just a rats nest, not fairy tale ends.

shadowclaw
March 10th, 2010, 12:29 PM
I didn't have too many misconceptions about long hair when I came here. I already knew that it was ok and not gross to go for days without washing your hair, and no length of hair was ever too extreme for me or for anyone else, regardless of gender or age. However, I did have a few, and they are thus:

While I had never seen fairy tale ends before, if someone had told me about seeing someone with wispy, thin ends, I would have automatically thought their hair needed a trim.

Also, I believed the only acceptable hemlines for long hair were straight or U-shape.

I also thought layers were only for short hair and would ruin long hair if put in (but only because my hair got ruined on the ends after layering).

I believed that more expensive shampoos and conditioners were better.

Leena7
March 10th, 2010, 12:40 PM
This is my worst prejudice. I thought that people with long hair used it as something to hide behind. This is probably because I was in middle school and high school when I thought this and all of the shallow girls had long, heat straightened to a crisp hair. I thought of their hair as a mask. I didn't want to be like them, in fact I thought they were cheating by hiding their ugly personalities behind bleached and straightened hair.

I have always been interested in fashion, so I frequently cut my hair short. I never knew what it was really like to have long hair.

I thought short hair was easier to manage (it is not! It requires frequent trims, heat styling, product, etc)

I was (and sometimes still am) disgusted by the site of very damaged looking hair of any length. The longer the damaged hair, the more hair for me to be freaked out by.

spidermom
March 10th, 2010, 12:48 PM
1) I thought I would learn the secret to growing hair out all one length instead of having hairs at every length. How silly of me! Now I realize that every single day, I shed out old hairs and start growing new hairs. I will always have hair of every length unless I keep them all very short.

2) I hated fairy tale ends. Period. End of story. Now I appreciate the beauty of naturally tapering, well-cared-for hair. In the end, I may grow out to terminal and have fairy tale ends myself. (haven't decided)

3) I was only interested in a blunt, cut straight across hem. Then I got to waist length and thought my hair looked cape-like. I didn't like it. Now I prefer the U-shape hem. I may try a V-shape before I'm done with long hair.

4) I washed my hair every other day because I thought it looked and felt gross with any sebum in it at all. Now I use coconut oil and like the look of my hair when it's a little piecey from oil. The shine and feel of it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice. It lies smoothly instead of fluffing and frizzing and floating all over the place. So now I wash about once every 5 days with diluted shampoo, and the last thing I want is squeaky-clean hair.

5) Oh yes, and I thought I had to have face-framing fringe because I was too ugly with my hair all pulled back. Now I love being able to pull all my hair back out of the way. I asked my hair stylist if she thought I needed fringe to look more attractive, and she looked at my face from many angles and said "no - not at all - you're fine." Wow, so I'm not too ugly without fringe.

Anlbe
March 10th, 2010, 01:19 PM
Were/are you creeped out by hair beyond a certain length?
Nope, always thought long hair was beautiful. Never got over the princess thing when I was little. Also whilst my family have such high aesthetic standards that I completely dismiss my appearance as worth bothering with, the one thing they all admired was the texture and thickness of my hair and encouraged me to grow it.

Totally against fairytale ends?
Nope, I thought it was just layering on long hair. As long as it looked healthy it looked good to me.

Critical of heat styling/chemical dyeing/washing too much or too little?
Was and still am against velcro hair that has to be laquered with products to have any softness and shine. So when too much heat styling/chemical dyeing/washing too much cause this yes VERY anti.

Convinced that people who stop at BSL aren't really "committed" to long hair?
:misskim: this is the closest smilie I could find to laughing so much I cry and possibly need sedation. Hardly, twenty years of trying to grow my hair and I'm still only at a longish BSL


Still not fond of long hair on men/older women/shorties/tall folk/big or round people?
The only prejudice I had was that people with particularly thin hair shouldn't grow it long and wear it down. Also I had a really strong prejudice against fringes, now I think they are a perfectly valid choice. Now..... I think the only prejudice I have now is dreadlocks. LHC has consolidated my value for healthy, soft, strokeable hair (although that still hasn't stopped me highlighting) and dreadlocks are just the opposite of that.

goodenough
March 10th, 2010, 03:58 PM
I had grown my hair very long (for me--past waist, maybe?) once without TLCH, and I knew that if I didn't blowdry much or get trims, long hair could be mine within a few years.

So when I came on a few years back, I wondered--what's all the fuss about? Then the aging process caught up with me. My hair is different. I have fine, easily damaged hair along the nape and temples, the occasional grey, and course, wiry hair on top. And my whole texture has changed to wavy in parts.

So I guess my misconception was--what's the point of all the experimenting. Now I know:) And I like really long hair more on others, but prefer bsl on myself, and I love fairy tale ends more than I used to.

jasper
March 10th, 2010, 07:28 PM
I used to be bothered by a co-worker's very long (maybe knee length) hair that she wore loose. I hadn't seen her for a while, then saw her this fall after joining here in the summer. She had cut to classic and I was bothered by that instead. :rolleyes:

vindo
March 10th, 2010, 09:59 PM
Thats a good question, and I can say I was predjudiced...:o but about slightly other things than most.


Before LHC:

- I thought hair can be "too long", which for me was not defined but I once saw a girl with very thick classic length hair and found that too long.
- I thought long hair needs layers not to look boring.
- I thought thinned out ends are great!
- I thought my natural color was a bit boring.
- I liked fashionable styles a lot which kept me from long hair a bit.

Now:

- The definition of "too long" was very much stretched...I still have like a max. for me, and another max. for others..mostly it really depends on the person all together but I think everyone can at least have it very long.
- Layers are really not a necessity....I don't hate them but they are not ideal for every style.
- I still like tapered ends, but ends...not half of the hair like mine is right now after the hair loss. So try to keep the balance with trims.
- I think natural color are a most special thing that can not be replicated with dye. They are so very flattering.
I do like many dyed colors too though..it just depends on the look someone goes for (I was a henna head)
- I know I can be very fashionable with very long hair also.

Never had any hair prejudice against:

-Cleanliness
-Age (on the contrary)
-Culture, Beliefs..
-Others that did not want to be fashionable..thats their right, most of my friends were not fashionable and I did not try to change them.

I was a very nice short fashionable haired person you could say, with an understanding what its like to love long hair. :)


And for the specific questions (which I found late -_-)

Were/are you creeped out by hair beyond a certain length?
Not creeped out, just did not want it myself..

Totally against fairytale ends?
Pro fairytale ends :D I was fashion forward and japanese fashion magazines dictated hair to be tapered drastically with a razor...so I always tapered my hair. I still like FTE, just not if it keeps me from gaining length or tapers half of my hair to transparency...those are for when I'm at my goal. And I know that IF my ends would ever get too blunt for my liking I would taper them a bit for softness ..I don't think my ends will ever be too thick though ^^ not if this long.

Critical of heat styling/chemical dyeing/washing too much or too little?
I was always against styling, I knew it was damaging and I was concerned about the health of my short hair ^^'. But I thought you can wash too little, I washed daily (now weekly)

Convinced that people who stop at BSL aren't really "committed" to long hair?
No..why? Its their choice..

Still not fond of long hair on men/older women/shorties/tall folk/big or round people?
It can look great on anybody...

ilovelonghair
March 11th, 2010, 03:21 AM
When I first joined, I was totally against fairy tail ends. In fact, I still remember one of my very first posts here was talking about some girl I saw walking down the street with knee length hair, "but the ends were all wispy and gross" and so on. :( Now I have a certain appreciation/acceptance of fairytale ends, and regret ever saying that. I am still undecided how fond I am of them on my own hair, though.

They look great! I like fairytale ends in curly hair, much better than a blunt cut, because the fairytale ends shape the curls nicely at the end.