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LaineRB
March 4th, 2010, 05:50 PM
Hi everyone,

First time poster and it's an emergency. My friend is losing her hair because of a thyroid condition. She is obviously upset by this and she balding at the ripe age of 26. I feel awful for her, but her request of cutting my hair for her is asking a lot. She doesn't want to get a fake wig and a real one or a hair weave would be too expensive for her. So she wants to cut my hair and make a weave or wig herself to save costs.

I guess I have a few concerns. One, my hair is waist length and it took me a long time to achieve this result. She counters that the bottom half of my hair is damaged and not in the greatest shape anyway so it wouldn't be such a major loss for me and in the long run my hair would be in better shape without the damaged parts. I asked her: if my hair is so damaged why would she want it anyway? She responded that any hair is better than no hair. I guess we could sort through the cut hair and trim any splits back so it doesn't look like her hair is like straw.

The second is that neither of us have ever made a wig or a weave before. I only have a vague idea of where to start and I don't want to lose all this hair only to end up with a hair piece that looks trashy. Has anyone ever gone through the process of making a wig or a weave from scratch?

I guess, I am asking for any input and suggestions. If I agree to this I would go from waist length hair to having my hair fall down to about the bottom of my shoulder blades. I feel conflicted since she is my best friend and I want to help (it's also flattering that she wants my hair), but I am not sure how to answer her request

clichepithet
March 4th, 2010, 05:58 PM
It's your hair. The end.

If you don't want to cut it to give it away, you don't have to. Furthermore, you should not be made to feel "bad" for refusing. If you feel that much for her, perhaps offer to help her shoulder the cost of a good wig.

AstrayStar
March 4th, 2010, 05:59 PM
What about taking a collection of donations from friends/family to help buy a nice quality one. While the thought of donating your hair is very admirable, trying to make a homemade one look realistic seems like it would be insanely difficult. I know there are charities that people do donate their hair to, is it maybe possible that they may provide cheaper wigs than say wig retailers etc. Best of luck and I hope things work out for your friend!

christi.adell
March 4th, 2010, 06:00 PM
Oh goodness. Well she's understandably upset but if you don't want to lose your hair...don't. Plus if you or her have NEVER made a wig or weave then you would honestly probably have cut your hair for nothing.

If you do go through with it then take it to someone who knows what they are doing. That would of course cost money which would make the whole thing pointless. I hate to sound doom and gloom but just don't try to make one yourself without knowing what you're doing. I used to work with fake hair (making dreads and fake hair pieces) and it's a lot of work to make look good.

She's better off just buying a good quality wig which can be expensive but if you shop around I'm sure she can find something within budget. Or just a bunch of cheaper wigs that she could throw out once they become dirty. Idk it's a thought. Will she be permanently bald or just temporarily?

It just sounds like she's going through a hard time and is probably jealous that YOU don't have to lose your hair and if you did than this is something you could kinda go through together.
Maybe I'm off base with that but it might be it. Just talk with her about it more.

Just don't do something that you will regret. And it seems like you might.

BonnyJ
March 4th, 2010, 06:05 PM
I agree with clichepithet. Does she have health insurance? They sometimes pay for a wig also known as a prosthesis.

christine1989
March 4th, 2010, 06:11 PM
That is not too considerate of her to put that kind of pressure on you. Although you are a good friend you are by no means responsible for donating your hair. The wigs made today are very much like real hair and no one can tell the difference. A girl in one of my classes has the most fantastic blonde hair I have ever seen and just recently she told everyone it was a synthetic wig! Everyone in my class was shocked because it looked so realistic. Her real hair was nice too but she wanted blonde hair without the dye. You and your friend should go wig shopping and she can see how good modern wigs look :) Whatever you do, don't cut your hair unless it is what YOU want.

Nae
March 4th, 2010, 06:12 PM
:bigeyes:I personally don't think it sounds like a good idea. I was looking at some site online about wig making and it said that it takes 40-60 hours to tie a wig. That is a professional doing it!! It said you would have to make upwards of 40,000 knots!!! That is insane, especially if you don't know what you are doing and it is a one shot deal.

I wouldn't want your hair to be wasted on something that ends up not looking very good. I would imagine that wigmaking is like any other skill. You don't make a perfectly decorated wedding cake your first try, you end up with something lopsided with lumpy frosting. You don't decide to make a tailored suit for your first sewing project you start with a simple drawstring skirt. This is like jumping into the ocean without learning how to swim first..............I just, well, I would run. Unless she can get a professional to do it for her it could end up a disaster.

Would you be able to forgive her if you cut your hair and she got nothing out of it? Only you can answer that, only you can know if this is something you are comfortable with. I wonder about your motives though in posting on the LHC, since we are long hairs and long hair wannabes I would imagine that you weren't looking for someone to say, "Yeah sure, good idea, chop it!!" In posting the question here it makes me wonder if this is something you really, truly, honestly want to do.

Best of luck, this must be a very hard situation for her and an uncomfortable one for you.

SimplyViki
March 4th, 2010, 06:21 PM
Um... I'm not sure your hair would even be enough to make a wig. I've heard that they use something like 6-8 cut ponytails to make a wig. Maybe you could buy some fake hair/extension pieces, like at Sally Beauty Supply, and "practice" making a wig before you actually make any kind of cut? I'm betting if you two sit down with some fake hair to try and make a wig, you'll soon see that it's not exactly a home project.

Lamb
March 4th, 2010, 06:24 PM
I would say no.
The whole request sounds bizarre. She is losing her hair, which is unfortunate. But to ask you to cut yours is a very unreasonable request to make. I would not want my friend's hair on my head. It wouldn't make me feel better about going bald to see my friend cut off her hair for me to wear. :nono:

Wigs made of natural hair are much harder to take care of, more complicated and expensive to fabricate,
and much more inconvenient to wear, than synthetic wigs. She should know that, and so should you. I'll bet you'd hate to see your hair end up in the trash if the wig-making experiment doesn't work out.

sarah061
March 4th, 2010, 06:33 PM
I agree with what everyone else has been saying, I think it would be insanely difficult for you to make a wig and you'd probably end up losing all that hair for nothing :( Even though this time must be very difficult for your friend, it's not right of her to put pressure on you by asking you to make such a sacrifice and if you do tell her no, you shouldn't feel at all guilty for doing that - it's your hair and you are not being selfish by wanting to keep it. I know wigs can be very expensive, but there has GOT to be a better solution - even if she just asked friends and family to donate money or set up a donation website, or if you all got together and had a big yard/bake sale for her -- there are plenty of ways to show you care and want to help without sacrificing body parts. Good lucky! :)

angelthadiva
March 4th, 2010, 06:38 PM
Wow, I can't believe she'd ask such a thing! I think this would be a huge under taking to try to attempt as a novice...I mean the pressure alone would be hard to deal with.

There are many other ways to be supportive toward your friend, but this I don't think is one of them. I just seeing this ending badly with lots of hurt feelings going around.

Ma'am
March 4th, 2010, 06:39 PM
Even if you did cut your hair, there wouldn't be enough to make a wig.

There is no way in the WORLD she'd be able to make one herself - you'd just as soon cut your hair off & flush it down the toilet, b/c it's going to end up a horrible mess if she were to try.

I'd try to help her pay for, or raise funds, to purchase a decent wig, as was mentioned earlier.

farewell_nancy
March 4th, 2010, 06:40 PM
There's no way someone who has never made a wig before could even make a half decent one fresh out the gate. Any hair you cut off wouldn't end up on her head, just in the trash.

Madame J
March 4th, 2010, 06:48 PM
Yeah, you can't make a DIY wig and expect it to look any good at all. The fact that she's even asking for such a thing suggests she's either not really a friend, or else is experiencing severe emotional instability, possibly due to the trauma of losing her hair. I suggest you direct her to a good counselor for people with serious illness and keep your hair.

IF you want to help her feel better about her appearance as she goes through this, I'm going to echo the sentiment to help her raise money to buy a professional wig.

adiapalic
March 4th, 2010, 06:49 PM
It's your hair, don't cut it for someone else.

Odds are, a wig made from synthetic hair at a factory would most likely look a thousand times better than a homemade wig made from the hair of one person's head.

Weaves or extensions would only damage what hair she has left because of her fragile condition, and the condition of her hair follicles. She's better off either using a synthetic wig or collecting up donations to get a nice professional wig made from human hair.

:flower:You keep your hair if that's what you really want. It's YOUR choice, and no one else's. :)

LaineRB
March 4th, 2010, 06:50 PM
Thanks for the input everyone, really those were some quick replies everyone had lined up there. I guess my main concern was with the task of actually making the wig. If I felt that it would result in a hair piece that was realistic I wouldn't be so opposed to it, but since some of you know what the under taking is in such a task I am glad I know now that it is infeasible.

Just to clarify, I wasn't really offended that she asked by any means. She's going through a rough time with her health so I am trying my best to understand her situation. Thanks everyone.

LaineRB
March 4th, 2010, 06:52 PM
The fact that she's even asking for such a thing suggests she's either not really a friend, or else is experiencing severe emotional instability, possibly due to the trauma of losing her hair..


There's no need to comment on the quality of our friendship. We've known eachother along time and she has always helped me through ordeals in my life. I think she's more likely experiencing trauma in general. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Sweetness
March 4th, 2010, 06:52 PM
I agree with everyone
I hope your friend understands that this is not reasonable, nor logical, to ask of you

Addy
March 4th, 2010, 06:53 PM
Sorry but I would not even entertain this idea for reasons others stated.

If anything, I would look into helping her purchase a real wig and that is about as far as I would go with it. I'm just being honest.

Roseate
March 4th, 2010, 06:54 PM
As other posters have said

1) Wig-making is a craft which takes time to master. Your first try will look awful.

2) More than one ponytail-worth of hair is used to make a full wig, so you wouldn't have enough anyway.

3) I second previous posters who suggested taking up a collection among friends and family to allow her to buy a high-quality wig that will look good and last for years, not the raggy toupee you would be able to make yourself.

MissMandyElizab
March 4th, 2010, 07:01 PM
UM ok ....lets start with i am so sorry your friend is having this issue!!!!!
Now lets go on,You will be sorry for alot of reasons
1. You have never made a wig and its very very hard you have to make first netting then you have to lay the hair out in a grow patten around the netting pin and hand sew it (look at about 40 hours)
2. you have to have a lot of hair 6 or more peoples hair in to making a wig they have to be all the same and best if no dye then once your done you have to cut it and wash it.
3. the up keep on a real hair wig is hard add that you have never made one it wont last more than a few years at best with 7 day a week use,
4. your friend my just want some company in her sorrow i know that sounds cold but some times we want some one to feel our pain and asking what she has is she will understand your loss but can you you might not resent her now but how will you feel when she is brushing your hair on her head,
5,there are many many charity's that can help her suport her by listening
6, may be you guys could have a charity drive to help off set the cost of a wig or to pay for a wig maker
i hope this helps and i hope you follow your heart pm me if you need anything

kwaniesiam
March 4th, 2010, 07:07 PM
Chiming in from another girl who is losing her hair from a thyroid condition:

Do NOT cut your hair just because your friend is pressuring you to. I understand that she's feeling ashamed, like this isn't fair, etc. but that is no reason to take it away from you just because it's been taken away from her. Have a firm talk with her that you'll be supportive but just because she's having trouble coping with what is happening is no reason to want you to give up something you love as well.

Her hair will come back in time with the proper dosage of medication and the help of a good doctor. I've struggled with this for years and while my hair is extremely thin compared to what it was, I still have enough to get by and I'm not giving up hope that it will thicken up much more. I hope you manage to find a solution and best of luck to her :flower:

How severe is her hair loss? There are different types depending on how long her condition has gone untreated. I've experienced a general thinning all over but mostly evident in the top, sides, and crown area. The back is still quite thick and not nearly as see through. Lightening her hair will also help camouflage the thinning if she is fair skinned, or even just adding highlights to help blend a bit better. A stark contrast of hair and scalp color will make it look much thinner.

Edit: Making a wig or a weave with no experience is just not going to happen unfortunately. There are many modestly priced wigs and extension kits out there that are best left to the professionals. Doing a weave with limited experience can actually accelerate hair loss in the end.

Last edit: Feel free to PM me if you/she would like any advice from someone who has gone through this as well. It really is a traumatic thing for a young girl to lose her hair but it does get better with time :)

Prism
March 4th, 2010, 07:08 PM
I think that's askin a whole lot of somebody to ask them to give up their hair, something they've grown for years.

And she's not dealing with reality here. Professionals sometimes make hideous wigs, and this is after they have lots of experience. No, she is not skilled to make a wig. No, she won't be anytime soon. So you'll have cut your hair off to give to her, and she won't be happy with the results.

Yeah, maybe you/she could take the hair someplace and get them to make it into a wig, but seriously, I would doubt that would save much money. It could even cost more.

I feel for her. I know what it's like to be bald in public (chemo), but frankly, I'd much rather shave my head and be bald and wear cute scarves and save my money for a wig if I really wanted one (they are hot and itchy and a PITA, from what my friends tell me) rather than know I took something my friend valued greatly.

Feel free to print this post and give it to her. As somebody who's been bald, what she's asking and wanting to do isn't realistic and isn't going to make her--or you--happy.

shadowclaw
March 4th, 2010, 07:09 PM
I agree with everyone else here.

You've already stated that you two are very good friends and weren't offended by her request, but IMHO, her request is not something a friend should be making.

As for the hair, synthetic wigs are just as nice as real hair wigs, and trying to undertake making your own will almost certainly be a disaster. There are also lots of ways to raise money to help purchase a nice wig for your friend. You can take up a collection among people you know, or you can even set up a benefit event if you want or do some sort of fundraiser. If you happen to know any musicians, most of them would be happy to do a benefit concert to raise the money. You just have to ask around.

Lady Mary
March 4th, 2010, 07:22 PM
Your hair alone would not be enough for a wig. Also, it's a difficult thing, making a wig from scratch. It's not a craft learned over night. Explain to her that you're flattered she likes your hair that much but her request cannot be fulfilled.

Synthetic wigs look just as nice (if not nicer and easier to care for) anyway.

StephanieB
March 4th, 2010, 07:24 PM
I guess, I am asking for any input and suggestions. If I agree to this I would go from waist length hair to having my hair fall down to about the bottom of my shoulder blades. I feel conflicted since she is my best friend and I want to help (it's also flattering that she wants my hair), but I am not sure how to answer her request
I haven't bothered to read a single post in this thread... because I already know ---

--- it takes about 50 hours and up (more) to hand-tie even a short-haired human hair wig (ALL human hair wigs must be hand-tied)

--- it takes at least 6 to 8 (or more) hanks of hair (ponytails... heads of hair) to make even a short-haired wig... more if longer haired

--- human hair wigs cost so much money because it takes that long and that much hair, and that much skill to make human hair wigs

NO amateur (no offense to you or your friend) is going to be able to make a wig that anybody will wear, without a lot of training and experience!

If you cut your hair and give it to her directly (ie - not to a professional) - you will be wasting your hair.

And if you DO cut it to give to a professional, the professional will still need several other heads' worth of hair to make one wig, besides your hair.

I know. I've been bald due to a chemical burn accident. I won a LOT of money in the ensuing lawsuit. I still had trouble affording human hair wigs that were chin-length only! The salon that injured me went out of business paying me what the Court ordered... and the owners disappeared before paying up OR paying for my Court-ordered wigs. (Ultimately, I got what was due me.)
But, in 1995, I paid something like US$1200+ per wig... and like I said, these wigs were chin-length hairdo styles. It must cost more now...


Let us be charitable and believe that your friend is temporarily out-of-touch with reality when she demands such a thing of you... it's kinder to assume that than the worst.
She does not know what she is asking.
And if she truly does understand - and still asks it, then she is no friend of yours.

If you wish to be kind, and you are able - take up a collection for her to buy wigs.

And since mine was a malpractice suit instead of a nautral illness, so I had no option to go through my health insurance... but since hers is a natural illness, she ought to be able to get some funding for a wig, even if it's not full funding for one. Help her to check this out thoroughly, if you would like to help her.

And above all - DO NOT feel guilty for keeping your own hair on your own head, where it belongs!

rusika1
March 4th, 2010, 07:31 PM
A home made wig is pretty obviously impossible. And a home made weave would probably cause her to lose even more hair.

Why don't you offer to help her find out more about thyroid conditions and hair loss? I'm sure there must be websites where she can talk to others with thyroid issues; that might make her feel a little less panicky.

And the chances are that her hair will grow back once her problems are treated. And if it doesn't, encourage her to talk to her doctor about possible therapies, like minoxidil.

Help her embrace her options--cut what's left off into an ultra-short pixie; make wearing scarves or hats her 'thing'. Find online examples of chemotherapy patients who don't let hair loss keep them from enjoying life. Eventually, sanity and perspective will return.

Here's a website that might be helpful:
http://www.thyroid-info.com/articles/hairloss.htm

AmericanWoman
March 4th, 2010, 07:36 PM
From what I understand it takes 6-10 "ponytail" of hair tom make one short wig. (check LOL) Cutting off your hair wouldn't help much and honestly, it takes chutpuh to ask someone to cut their hair off. Won't be enough to make a wig asnyway. Say NO. Hairloss from thyriod is temporary anyway.

StephanieB
March 4th, 2010, 07:47 PM
Help her embrace her options--cut what's left off into an ultra-short pixie; make wearing scarves or hats her 'thing'.
Oh, I'd forgotten, till I read this!

Before I was able to even put a wig on my burned scalp... I had to wear silk scarves for... think it was 8 or 10 months, IIRC, first!

The doctors all said that I had to let my scalp breathe if I had any hopes of growing hair ever again... and they said I must not wear wigs yet. They suggested silk since it's softest (I had very serious chemical burns) on new skin, and it breathes well (as any natural fabric does). Very lightweight linen (that was pre-washed and dried many times for softness) was their second choice, after silk.

I have a huge collection of silk scarves, as well as the wigs, still... to this day.

I'd be willing to give your friend a silk scarf, as a gift, if you would like to provide your or her mailing address... I'll give her one, her choice of any of the colors I have... I'd go that far for someone I don't know but feel sympathy for.
I can check what colors I've got - although I know that I have more red than any other color, since I LOVE REDS! :D

Let me now if you'd like a silk scarf for your friend.

I don't know if you can use the PM system yet... but you can reach me at seblaine(at)yahoo(dot)com

Use the @ for the (at) and the . for the (dot); I just don't want spybots to grab my email addy.

marla
March 4th, 2010, 07:51 PM
I have thyroid issues. On proper medication it grows back. I don't see the reason for you to chop off your hair, which took years to grow, to give her a wig, which she could easily purchase, for what amounts to a temporary condition.

ericthegreat
March 4th, 2010, 08:04 PM
Forgive me for being frank, but your friend isn't being a very good friend at all in my opinion. Yes, it is terrible that she is suffering from a thyroid condition which is responsible for her hair falling out, but the fact that she expects you to donate your own hair for her especially since you don't even have the slightest clue how to make a wig is very selfish of her.

And as SimplyViki mentioned, one ponytail is no where near enough hair to make a full hair wig. Locks of Love typically uses between 6 to 10 donated ponytails to make a full wig. See, a natural head of hair actually is made up of many shorter individual strands that don't reach all the way down to the bottom length of your hair. These shorter strands are considered useless and are thrown out, they only want to use the long strands to make the wig. So, just one wig is made up the long strands of 6 to 10 different people. So even if you were to cut your hair for your friend, it would all be for nothing.

I agree with the raising money for donations for a wig. See if you can get some of your other friends or someone from your family or her family to help pay for a wig.

lunagoose
March 4th, 2010, 08:18 PM
Making a wig without any experience and tools might be a disaster and your precious locks lost forever-be careful, also she shouldn't be putting pressure on you to cut your hair, that's not very considerate even if your friend is desperate and stressed. Hope it all works out OK for you and her. She can also try researching charities that provide wigs for women in need.

spidermom
March 4th, 2010, 08:54 PM
My SIL had the same thing happen to her. She said "It took a long time to grow this hair. I'm going to keep it." And that was that.

Carolyn
March 4th, 2010, 10:04 PM
I wouldn't do it. And I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to do it for me.

bte
March 4th, 2010, 11:13 PM
I can't see how it would be cheaper to have your hair made into a wig for her than to buy a real hair wig for her. I would say no, but offer to help to raise the money she needs for a good quality real hair wig. There are sometimes bargains on ebay, and even though a second hand wig will need to be washed to make sure it's clean etc, it could be a good option.

Although she's obviouslu distressed, asking you to make a sacrifice of this sort isn't fair.

MotherConfessor
March 4th, 2010, 11:35 PM
Synthetics can be quite inexpensive and look very nice. Consider telling her that you made an honest effort and looked it up. Since its not remotely feasible, she should consider that synthetic wigs are no longer the fake looking "Halloween" style wigs and look very realistic these days.

Here's a link
http://www.bestwigoutlet.com/Wigs-Asa.html

beez1717
March 4th, 2010, 11:46 PM
I have to say that the best thing to do like others have said would be to raise enough money for her to buy her own wig. If that works out then she can get any color or style she wants, and you keep your hair :) I think that is best.

Syaoransbear
March 5th, 2010, 12:01 AM
Real hair is extremely cheap to buy, don't cut your hair.

When I buy REAL HAIR clip in extensions off of ebay it only costs me $20. I get a lot of hair too, definitely iii+. I'd rather spend $20 on hair than put my friend in that kind of position. Yeah, hair grows back, but it takes forever and you can buy hair that's already been cut for really cheap.

Plus that would be really creepy seeing her wear your hair, and if you didn't really want to cut your hair, you might end up resenting her over the loss of your hair every time you saw her. I don't think you should cut your hair when there is real human hair for sale at very cheap prices, and your friend will likely waste your hair by making an unfit wig anyway.

IcarusBride
March 5th, 2010, 01:16 AM
Wow I'm sorry for your friend for going bald, but that is really not acceptable for her to ask you to cut your hair for her. That just really seems selfish of her in my opinion. Especially seeing how neither of you knows how to make a wig... This whole situation would make me extremely uncomfortable.

Calista
March 5th, 2010, 02:44 AM
Does she get treatment for her thyroid condition? It seems to me the most important thing right now would be to get proper treatment. Then as a "side effect" her hair would grow back.

Best wishes for your friend, I´m sure we would all be desperate if we lost our hair! :grouphug:

Rentlle
March 5th, 2010, 08:48 AM
mmm:s
if you never made a wig before, then i shouldn't do it..
You can make an effort in the way to help her finance a real one..
Selling cookies, i dunno, there are a lot of possible ways to do it...
It's especially important that you do what YOU want.. If you give your hair, but you know that you'r going to end up totally sad, then please don't do it...

Babyfine
March 5th, 2010, 09:05 AM
I agree with what everyone else said. Take up a collection to help her pay for a wig or even a couple of nice wigs, or hairpieces.
You don't need to cut your own hair.

Kitara
March 5th, 2010, 09:12 AM
Its already been covered, but this is a really bad idea.
As someone who has actually tied wigs I can assure you that is WILL look bad. Not might. you have to have special tools to tie the hairs (if anyone ever did latch hook rugs, imagine that but on a much smaller level) and it is pretty difficult even once you get the hang of it. You need alot of hair because some break, some you mess up the knots, and some aren't long enough. Cutting off 12-15 inches would result in hairs that were only 5-6 inches once tied, and the longer the hair, the harder to tie.
Perhaps you should calmly and kindly explain to her why it's not possible, your sympathy for her situation, and talk about other options she has.

nowxisxforever
March 5th, 2010, 09:16 AM
Um... I'm not sure your hair would even be enough to make a wig. I've heard that they use something like 6-8 cut ponytails to make a wig. Maybe you could buy some fake hair/extension pieces, like at Sally Beauty Supply, and "practice" making a wig before you actually make any kind of cut? I'm betting if you two sit down with some fake hair to try and make a wig, you'll soon see that it's not exactly a home project.

Yes, this-- I don't think the OP would have enough hair.

Also, it's selfish of someone to ask that someone else 'donate' a part of themselves just because they are lacking... I wouldn't ask someone for the coat off their back if I was cold and they weren't. Regardless of whether it was my fault or not.

JamieLeigh
March 5th, 2010, 09:22 AM
It's your hair. The end.

If you don't want to cut it to give it away, you don't have to. Furthermore, you should not be made to feel "bad" for refusing. If you feel that much for her, perhaps offer to help her shoulder the cost of a good wig.

Exactly this. It's childish to ask you this, and to expect you to actually do it. You should point out to her that being a good friend doesn't necessarily mean you have to sacrifice what you love. In this case, I'm agreeing that if you want to help her, then it would be better to just help her find a good wig and stick by her side while she's going through this difficult time.

Also direct her towards this site and thread, and let her see how difficult it would be to make a wig, and how horrible it might end up looking on a first homemade attempt.

Messyhair
March 5th, 2010, 09:33 AM
Wow... that is asking a lot. Um... does she realize that once her thyroid condition is controlled, her hair loss will cease? It's relatively easy to treat thyroid problems as long as you get your hormone levels tested regularly.

<end pharmacists' rant>

aef231
March 5th, 2010, 09:38 AM
I agree with what everyone's been saying... There's really no way two people who have no experience in wig/weave making are going to be able to do this. The idea of collecting donations from family and friends for a good wig sounds nice... Keep your hair, it would be a shame to waste it, especially since you don't want to cut it to begin with! I hope your friend gets well, but this really sounds like a bad idea IMHO... Good luck!

kdaniels8811
March 5th, 2010, 09:55 AM
I recently lost all my waist length hair to chemo so bought a wig that matched my hair color and style. It cost about $150 which I did not think was bad at all! It came from a wig shop and is past BSL so is plenty long. We matched my haircolor before my hair fell out and people that do not know I have lost my hair cannot tell the difference.

And I did have several friends offer thier hair to make me a wig. A custom wig costs between $2000 - $3000 and takes 3-4 months to complete. This is by professionals. I would never try this at home! You see the reason I went for the synthetic wig. My hair will grow back, fortunately.

I feel badly for your friend and understand her wanting hair now! But asking you to donate is way beyond reasonable expectations. I had friends offer to donate and I was very surprised. Research taught me it would take 4-5 people donating hair to get a wig. Good luck to you and your friend! Let us know what she decides to do.

GoddesJourney
March 5th, 2010, 11:36 AM
Don't make a wig yourself with a friend's hair unless you have experience already. She should know that. If you're really close, you can help her buy a good one, or at least help her raise funding. Otherwise, it's your hair. It should only be as far from your scalp as it grows until *you actually want* to cut it. Period.

Madame J
March 5th, 2010, 11:39 AM
There's no need to comment on the quality of our friendship. We've known eachother along time and she has always helped me through ordeals in my life. I think she's more likely experiencing trauma in general. Thanks for the suggestion though.

That's why I made the other option -- that she's going through severe emotional trauma and needs professional help dealing with this. One of my best friends went through clinical depression and ADD and was a real jerk during this time, but I kept supporting her knowing that this wasn't how she really was. I'm sorry I didn't make it more clear that I didn't actually think she was a bad friend -- the fact that you would even consider this told me that.

BrightEyes7
March 5th, 2010, 11:59 AM
I don't think that you should.

First of all that isn't a very nice thing to put you in that sort of position. Secondly it isn't like you can cut your hair and put it one a wig cap and it would be a wig. The people how make wigs from real hair a trained in this sort of thing. I don't think you would be able to make a quality wig on your own. It would simply be a waste of hair.

Try explaining this situation to her and let her know you worked too hard for your hair for it to be lost in vain.

If she can't understand that then she is being a rather selfish friend.

halo_tightens
March 5th, 2010, 12:08 PM
I agree with the general sentiment expressed by most in this thread.

If it WERE possible to simply cut off some of your hair and magically transform it into a lovely wig, then it might be something to consider, depending on how you both felt about it.

Unfortunately, that's not the case. If neither of you has any experience with making wigs or weaves, the end result is not going to be something that she can actually use. It would be a pointless waste of hair, and both of you would be needlessly upset. Your hair would be gone for no reason, and her hopes of having a nice wig would be dashed to bits.

I agree that you guys should look into raising the money to get her a nice wig to wear, and make sure that she's doing all the right things to restore her - and her hair - to good health. :)

Prism
March 5th, 2010, 01:15 PM
p.s. Give your friend this link: http://www.4women.com/

I lived in these when I wasn't going bald. They are very cute. They have 100% silk ones, ones with really cool patterns. I bought mine and some fun earrings and made myself WAIT til I was bald to wear them. That way it was a treat.

And from somebody who "did" temporary hair loss well, some advice for your friend (again, feel free to print this out and give to her):

-- Keep in mind this is temporary. Determine you'll experience it rather than fight it. Move through the stages.

-- Do transition cuts before you lose your hair completely. Cut it short. Then cut it shorter. Then shave it close. Then closer. I have seen so many women go through the angst of keeping long pieces of hair and having bald patches, finding hair on their pillow, in the shower, etc. Who needs that drama? If your thyroid did this, well, take control of the situation and determine that if you lose your hair it'll be because YOU cut it off, not because of some condition. That will help you view this differently.

-- Get the scarves mentioned above. Make sure you love the ones you get. Look up other long silk scarves that you can tie into beautiful, colorful fringes that cascade down your back. You can find ways to tie them online (check out some Orthodox Jewish web sites). Get earrings and other trinkets that match the gorgeous scarves you just bought, and then DO NOT let yourself wear any of that until you've shaved your head. They are special things, things to look forward to wearing.

-- Rent some videos of women who voluntarily cut their hair for movie roles. Check out how much it brings out a woman's fine bone structure, her eyes. Look at Natalie Portman, Sinead O'Connor, Demi Moore, and others. You don't have to have movie-star looks to actually look stunning and exotic bald. Many women do this as a fashion statement even.

It's going to come down to the way you frame it for yourself. If you are going to go into this with the attitude that you are losing something, that it's going to be painful and gut-wrenching, then that will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Condition yourself to go about it proactively and view it as an opportunity to become more confident in both your inner and outer beauty. If I did this, you can, too. It's all mind and thoughts. The hair will regrow. You have the power to make this a positive or negative experience. Why make things harder on yourself than they already are?

freznow
March 5th, 2010, 01:24 PM
I just have to say - if anyone asked me this, I would have assumed they were joking throughout the whole thing. I don't get how anyone might ask such seriously!

LaineRB
March 5th, 2010, 01:40 PM
Seriously, thanks everyone for the input. I am going to break the news to her tonight about how unrealistic it would be to make a wig from scratch and that I don't have enough hair on my own anyway. I am sure once she realizes what an endeveor it would be to make her own wig, that she is going to understand how unrealistic it is. I think she is in a bad mental state because of the hair loss and I will write it off as nothing more than that. I think getting a fake wig, raising money from family/friends for a real one, or the scarves are great ideas and I will pass them by her.

Anje
March 5th, 2010, 02:00 PM
Give your friend a hug. What she's going through has to be hard, and I don't think she realizes the magnitude of what she asked for. She's upset, and therefore making demands for others to sacrifice to look the same as her, help her to look better, etc.

You've got a good case to explain that making her a wig from your hair isn't feasible, and that you actually considered doing it is strong evidence to how good a friend you are.

With treatment, her hair should grow back from the thyroid problems. (You might even want to point her in this direction -- we've got members here with hypothyroidism and members who have had their thyroids killed off and totally replace the hormones with meds.) In the meantime, you can help her look for a wig. There are some decent fake wig makers on eBay (I think several LHCers have used this seller (http://shop.ebay.com/professionalonly/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=&_trksid=p4340) when they want a different look and have been quite pleased), which are fairly inexpensive.

Take heart. You're a good friend.

angelthadiva
March 5th, 2010, 02:01 PM
:grouphug: Good luck!

misstwist
March 5th, 2010, 02:21 PM
Hi everyone,

First time poster and it's an emergency. My friend is losing her hair because of a thyroid condition. She is obviously upset by this and she balding at the ripe age of 26. I feel awful for her, but her request of cutting my hair for her is asking a lot. She doesn't want to get a fake wig and a real one or a hair weave would be too expensive for her. So she wants to cut my hair and make a weave or wig herself to save costs.

I guess I have a few concerns. One, my hair is waist length and it took me a long time to achieve this result. She counters that the bottom half of my hair is damaged and not in the greatest shape anyway so it wouldn't be such a major loss for me and in the long run my hair would be in better shape without the damaged parts. I asked her: if my hair is so damaged why would she want it anyway? She responded that any hair is better than no hair. I guess we could sort through the cut hair and trim any splits back so it doesn't look like her hair is like straw.

The second is that neither of us have ever made a wig or a weave before. I only have a vague idea of where to start and I don't want to lose all this hair only to end up with a hair piece that looks trashy. Has anyone ever gone through the process of making a wig or a weave from scratch?

I guess, I am asking for any input and suggestions. If I agree to this I would go from waist length hair to having my hair fall down to about the bottom of my shoulder blades. I feel conflicted since she is my best friend and I want to help (it's also flattering that she wants my hair), but I am not sure how to answer her request


Wow. Not only should your answer be no, but you might want to re-evaluate this friendship. She sounds like a manipulator to me.

BrightEyes
March 5th, 2010, 02:30 PM
(You might even want to point her in this direction -- we've got members here with hypothyroidism and members who have had their thyroids killed off and totally replace the hormones with meds.)

Take heart. You're a good friend.

I was going to suggest that you point her in this direction also. With so many members there are bound to be a few who have hypothyroidism and can share their experiences with her.

I don't think she is trying to manipulate you. I just think she is going through a very difficult time right now. But I agree with everyone else: DON'T give her your hair.

jera
March 5th, 2010, 02:37 PM
She sounds really desperate. Hugs. I hope when you tell you've decided not to donate it goes well. :)

curlylocks85
March 5th, 2010, 02:49 PM
It sounds as though your friend is looking for support, which is understandable. You are a good friend wanting to help her.

I think it would be best if you answered her by raising the money for a wig. It takes a lot of work to make a wig. I think if you are there for her and surprise her with this gift, it will make you both feel better.

I hope your friend gets well, the best of luck to the both of you.

Laylah
March 5th, 2010, 04:12 PM
Sorry to say, but the problem would be that the hairs are too varied in length, plus it takes about 5 ponytails to make on wig. And generally, since hair that is detached from the head no longer has sebum, its state will deteriorate quickly so it must be the best quality hair. It's a nice thought...unfortunately it's effectively impossible.

julliams
March 5th, 2010, 08:35 PM
I haven't read all the responses so I don't know if this has been said but you would need more than one head of hair to make one wig. I think it is like 5 or 6 from memory. If you take a look at the wigs for kids and lovelocks charities they explain how many heads of hair it takes to make one wig. Also the wigging process is very time consuming and costly. I think they said it still costs around $1000 to make a wig so by that standard I would think that it is a diffcult thing to do.

Tell her friend that you would love to donate if you were certain that all she would need was one head of hair, but since you have found that it will take more than 5, it's just not going to work out.

Why don't you suggest ways of fundraising so that she can get a wig or real hair. Maybe friends can get together and have a social night where everyone pays donation entry fee and you have a wine and nibblies evening - something like that.

Plus tell her that damaged hair would not be used in a wig because it would just break when being combed.

It's an awful position for you to be in a nd unfortunately even if you did donate your hair it wouldn't result in a nice wig for her without alot more hair and money. Hope I've helped.

Juliette

Barbie Diamond
March 6th, 2010, 01:44 AM
I had a relative that was going to go through chemo, so we went and had her hair cut and saved (thick brown hair at least a foot long on the saving) to try and make a wig if she lost her hair. She lost it. Then we found out, it is impossible to make a wig without years of experience and learning. So we bought one. It is an unrealistic plan.

BeatlesFanGirl
March 6th, 2010, 07:58 AM
I would say no.
The whole request sounds bizarre. She is losing her hair, which is unfortunate. But to ask you to cut yours is a very unreasonable request to make. I would not want my friend's hair on my head. It wouldn't make me feel better about going bald to see my friend cut off her hair for me to wear. :nono:

Exactly. If I lost my hair (which hopefully won't happen), I'd never ever want any of my friends or anyone else to cut their hair for ME. I also don't understand the "let's all shave heads to show support" actions, I would never want that from anyone either.

I don't think you need to feel guilty or apologize for not wanting to cut yours. Simply kindly tell her "I don't want to cut my hair". Of course saving money and buying her a good wig would be a good thing to do.

May I ask what problems does she have with her thyroid? I'm asking because I've had hyperthyroid problems, I hope that it won't affect my hair. :S

Carolyn
March 6th, 2010, 08:14 AM
Exactly. If I lost my hair (which hopefully won't happen), I'd never ever want any of my friends or anyone else to cut their hair for ME. I also don't understand the "let's all shave heads to show support" actions, I would never want that from anyone either.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying that. Finally someone else has said it too :flowers: If I lost my hair, I wouldn't want someone being bald for me. That would upset me terribly.

wahmof9
March 6th, 2010, 09:08 AM
Wow! all that came to mind is selfish...what a friend!

AgnesONutter
March 6th, 2010, 10:16 AM
Sometimes, people do project their fears onto other people and sometimes they are afraid of going through things "alone". It is a very human thing. Thus, she probably does not really want you to cut your hair, it is just a thing she is saying right now because she is afraid and because she wants to feel as if you are two going through it. In one way, I would guess it is flattering that she feels she needs your support in this way.

With that said, don't cut your hair. You will regret it, and she will not feel any better for it especially not after coming to realise what a sacrifice it was for you once she can think straight again.

What she mostly needs is to find a way to feel good about herself during this time, I think. I know a lot of women, me included, put a lot of our "feeling beautiful" feelings into our hair. Not having hair is thus the same as being robbed of our beauty. A hard thing for anyone, ageing, but even harder when caused by an illness.

The donating for a wig thing sounds like a good idea. Though, if you don't manage to pull in enough money for that, how about putting together a scrap book of beautiful, bald women and then start fashioning a new "I would like that look" from there? Look at earrings, scarves, henna and rhinestones. Can you imagine, a henna pattern on a head, with rhinestones to set the design off? Beautiful and really personal. In short, make it not so much about the loss (even though is should not be neglected) as about an opportunity to try new things!

Toadstool
March 6th, 2010, 11:17 AM
Oh for Goodness sake I wish people would stop judging this poor friend. Who knows how desperate we would be if we were losing our hair? Also, a lot of people don't mind cutting off their long hair. My best friend has about 12inches cut off every couple of years with no qualms.
OP, I hope you and your friend are able to resolve this and find another way of getting a nice wig for her and some support.

mili
March 9th, 2010, 05:57 AM
Oh for Goodness sake I wish people would stop judging this poor friend. Who knows how desperate we would be if we were losing our hair? Also, a lot of people don't mind cutting off their long hair. My best friend has about 12inches cut off every couple of years with no qualms.

Toadstool, maybe all of us here would be desperate in losing our long hair, but that's because it is a big deal to us, more than just having hair. It's not that way for most people; most are fine just having hair (hence why so many can have completely fried hair and still be happy with it because the color, cut, and styling match their sense of style. sure, they see healthy well-cared for hair and go, oh, I'd love to have hair like that, but they don't change their perming/straightening/dying routine, because the bottom line is that to them, the right style is more important than the health of the hair. It's a valid choice, even if it isn't ours). Odds are the friend is the same, unlike the OP. And while your friend may not mind cutting off that much that often, that's just your friend; the OP is different, and we - and her own friend! - must respect that as an equally valid choice she makes about her appearance.

I think people are judging the friend negatively because they are guessing/assuming that the friend knows how much the OP's hair means to her, and is aware that it would be a sacrifice for the OP to cut it off, and in spite of knowing that, still tries to pressure the OP to do it for her own (the friend's) benefit. Which is not an unreasonable assumption to make, really - all my friends definitely know how much my hair means to me, and I haven't had to tell them, they can tell from how I often mention it or set it loose and stroke it, or heck, from the sheer number of hair care stuff they see in my bathroom! :p

So I think it's not unreasonable to say that the friend isn't exhibiting very friendly behavior in insisting the OP cut her hair for her benefit. The OP is her friend, not her keeper; she's not personally responsible for fixing her troubles, certainly not at a personal sacrifice. So I think it's more like the friend has extenuating circumstances, but what she does is still a crime of friendship ;)

I think the OP's friend has put her into an untenable position. If the OP does what's best for her, and refuses, the friend might use that as an excuse to break the friendship. If the OP gives in, she will have the burden of having done something bad for her, and the degree to which the friend will be grateful is frankly doubtful (especially since from what others said, it sounds unlikely the sacrifice will amount to a wig for the friend). I personally think the friend shouldn't even have asked, let alone insisted.

Ursula
March 9th, 2010, 06:32 AM
Well, some depends on how she is loosing her hair.

If she is loosing her hair so that she will be bald (such as chemo) then I agree with the others that you won't get good results from a DIY wig made from just one person's hair.

On the other hand, a friend of mine has a cousin with a form of alopicia where she has some hair, but it is thin and never grows long. My friend has grown out and cut her hair for her cousin, having clip-in extensions made (professionally) from the cut hair. This seems to work well to help the cousin have the effect of longer/thicker hair, and both are happy with the results.

At my suggestion, the friend did cut back somewhat less length than the cousin asked for, because I pointed out she'd be happier if she could still manage a ponytail, rather than cutting to short and layered and having to deal with growing out layers again. So she waited a few more months until she had the extra length to give the cousin the length she wanted and still keep the practicality of ponytail length.

So clip-in extensions are a form of one-person hair donation that can work, but unfortunately they won't work for all types of hair loss. Also, some of the thickness is lost when making clip-in extensions, so that while the one set helps, my friend is planning on growing out again to make a second set, so that her cousin winds up with more thickness.

Overall, though, collecting money from a group of friends to buy a good-quality synthetic wig, or a collection of good-quality synthetic clip-in extensions, should be more effective for your friend, in terms of fully addressing the issue with good quality and enough hair to make a difference now.

ilovelonghair
March 9th, 2010, 07:48 AM
Has anyone ever gone through the process of making a wig or a weave from scratch?

Yes I have made weaves, it is very very difficult and you need special equipment for it and you need to be handy. It will also take days to make it and lots of the hair used will get lost. For a proper weave you sometimes need 3 pony tails and for a wig even more as said above and you loose a lot of length in the process of making it because the top bits are tied to 3 strings and some length of the ends need to stick out in order for the thing not to fall apart. Also there is hair lost because you got to get all the shorter hairs out first (that is called 'single drawn' and 'double drawn' is when only the longest hairs are kept) so you only keep the long hair, that is why more pony tails are needed, because the pony tails end up quite thin after that process
(that was hard to explain:p)

I would really recommend you not to do it. EBay has nice real hair wigs that are not that expensive.

florenonite
March 9th, 2010, 08:36 AM
You seem to be going in the right direction in suggesting scarves and synthetic wigs. Both options would be easier to care for than a human hair wig, too, which are apparently a lot of work (most people only want them either under the mistaken assumption that they're better or because you can heat-style them). Depending on the hair loss pattern and how much she loses, an artfully tied scarf might even disguise the fact that any hair has been lost at all.

I would also stress the strain it would put on your friendship if you did do this for her. Explain that it would never work, and you would resent that you'd cut your hair for nothing, which would make you less capable of supporting her through her problems.

Hair loss from hypothyroidism is also usually temporary, AFAIK. Once she gets on meds it should grow back. Remind her of this so she knows that the hair loss is just a phase, and not permanent. I like the suggestions above of seeing it as a temporary phase when she can try new things rather than seeing it as a loss.

Prism
March 9th, 2010, 11:03 AM
I hope the OP will come back and let us know how the conversation went down. There's really nothing new to say here. She's been given a ton of suggestions and opinions about wigs, scarves, extensions, etc. Speculating on the friend's motives and whether she's a real friend or not for asking the OP to cut her hair is going beyond what we know (and if you look in the thread, the OP sounds like she's had enough of those comments). Let's not make the situation worse.

Just my 2 pennies...

dearladydisdain
March 9th, 2010, 11:51 AM
Oh for Goodness sake I wish people would stop judging this poor friend. Who knows how desperate we would be if we were losing our hair? Also, a lot of people don't mind cutting off their long hair. My best friend has about 12inches cut off every couple of years with no qualms.
OP, I hope you and your friend are able to resolve this and find another way of getting a nice wig for her and some support.
My main issue with this is that there is no way one could make a nice-looking wig from one person's hair, ESPECIALLY if they had no experience doing so. Asking for help getting a synthetic wig would be a much more feasible option, and there are some really nice synthetic wigs/pieces out there these days.

If cutting off your hair could truly help someone I think more people would be open to it. Reality is, it takes more than one ponytail and a wig cap to give someone a head of hair.

NickalNack
March 10th, 2010, 08:58 PM
If you don't want to cut it then perhaps you should help her save money for high quality, human hair for her. That's essentially the same thing isn't it?

vindo
March 10th, 2010, 09:34 PM
Hi everyone,

First time poster and it's an emergency. My friend is losing her hair because of a thyroid condition. She is obviously upset by this and she balding at the ripe age of 26. I feel awful for her, but her request of cutting my hair for her is asking a lot. She doesn't want to get a fake wig and a real one or a hair weave would be too expensive for her. So she wants to cut my hair and make a weave or wig herself to save costs.

I guess I have a few concerns. One, my hair is waist length and it took me a long time to achieve this result. She counters that the bottom half of my hair is damaged and not in the greatest shape anyway so it wouldn't be such a major loss for me and in the long run my hair would be in better shape without the damaged parts. I asked her: if my hair is so damaged why would she want it anyway? She responded that any hair is better than no hair. I guess we could sort through the cut hair and trim any splits back so it doesn't look like her hair is like straw.

The second is that neither of us have ever made a wig or a weave before. I only have a vague idea of where to start and I don't want to lose all this hair only to end up with a hair piece that looks trashy. Has anyone ever gone through the process of making a wig or a weave from scratch?

I guess, I am asking for any input and suggestions. If I agree to this I would go from waist length hair to having my hair fall down to about the bottom of my shoulder blades. I feel conflicted since she is my best friend and I want to help (it's also flattering that she wants my hair), but I am not sure how to answer her request

I would second suggestions for a donation...

Not sure what to advice here but let me say this:

I'm about the age of your friend and have also lost hair due to my thyroid condition and a pituitary tumor that messes with my hormones.
I was not sure, and I still can not be sure how this will end for me...there is still a chance I will loose more hair, although the meds help.

BUT, most importantly...I would never, never ever even get the idea to ask a friend to cut off her hair for me!
I would not do that to anyone because I know how painful it is to loose hair....and I feel for anyone who is sad about lets even say "only" loosing 1/4 inch in thickness or a few inches in length by "force".

Just wanted to share my view as someone who is sick herself.

Plus: I think it would be a good idea to find out what she can do to actually conquer the hair loss. Thyroid usually comes with thinning, people rarely go bald. There is plenty of treatment options that may help.
Read my blog, I have figured out a few things that helped me. Hormones is not something that can not be helped.
Also make sure she goes to as many Doctors as possible. So often things are overlooked.

Good site: http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/

Toadstool
March 11th, 2010, 02:47 AM
Toadstool, maybe all of us here would be desperate in losing our long hair, but that's because it is a big deal to us, more than just having hair. It's not that way for most people; most are fine just having hair .
Exactly. And what I meant was that we like anyone would be desperate going BALD, as is the OP's friend. She isn't in a position of "just having hair".
In no way was I suggesting that the OP should cut off any hair. Rather that in their responses, people should refrain from perjorative comments about the friend's behaviour and motives, AS THE OP HAS ALSO REQUESTED.

BroknRechord
March 12th, 2010, 06:09 PM
Forgive me if it has already been said, but you may want to say no based solely on the logic - because your hair naturally thins out with length and because of the way that wigs are made, your donation alone will not be enough for her. Wigs are often made of upwards of 5 hair donations. You will essentially be throwing away that length and she will be wasting energy and placing a strain on your relationship. If you want to donate something to her, perhaps you could help her pay for a quality wig?

I suspect it is hard to see someone with beautiful hair when she is losing hers, so requesting that you lose something too may be a way for her to not feel so bad in comparison. Perhaps the most supportive thing you could do is allow her some time without letting your hair be too present in the conversation or super attention grabbing.

skysraine
March 12th, 2010, 06:26 PM
You are a beautiful and True friend..... I honestley believe though if you cut your hair to help her with her grief You will ultimatley end up grieved yourself... E-Bay has a veriety to choose from natural and synthetic as a surprise if it is a wanted one purchase one for her and you both will be free of grief:grouphug:

Arrow Juniper
March 12th, 2010, 06:45 PM
"Hell no", my best friend says, as I read her this post.

"Yeah, but if you want to help her, help her out with buying a wig. A nice, human hair laced front wig costs $200"

"Pretty audacious request. damaged. You know you're not going to be able to make a wig that would last for more than a couple months. You'll just have this waste of hair."

My BFF has also, for some reason, researched this: "they need more hair than is on your hair to make the wig. No matter what, that's not enough hair to make a wig, she's just going to be wasting her hair. It will look trashy and you'll throw it away. Damaged. Most audacious request I've ever heard. That's a terrible idea."

Ursula
March 12th, 2010, 07:01 PM
To put this to your friend in a supportive way, try this:

"I know you're really upset about loosing your hair. That would upset me too."

(Recognize her emotion, show how you agree.)

"I thought about your request for me to cut my hair for you, and it sounded as if it might be a way to help you, so I did some research."

(Recognize her request as a valid one from a friend who wants help.)

"Unfortunately, everything I've found says that you need many donations of hair to make a wig, and it is technically difficult, so that it would be nearly impossible to make you a homemade one that looks good, especially on the first try with just the one donation."

(Explain the problem with her request, from her point of view - she wants a nice wig.)

"While I was looking around, many people suggested that the synthetic wigs and clip-on extensions these days are very realistic, easy to care for, and affordable."

(Offer something that is about meeting her need.)

"Perhaps I could help you look for a good wig to buy, and help you pay for it? That seems to be a better way for me to help you get attractive hair."

(Offer to help with what she wants - attractive hair.)

Arrow Juniper
March 13th, 2010, 11:13 AM
Nice one, Ursula, that's definitely a constructive way of expressing these thoughts with heart-felt empathy :)

steff8ryan
March 13th, 2010, 12:03 PM
I wouldnt do it ! i think its very kind of you to consider it but she shouldnt have asked that, just because she's suffering why make someone else loose their hair and suffer too !! If you hair is so bad at the ends why would she want it on her head ?? Sound fishy! Also once she starts taking meds to help her condition wont the shedding stop or lessen ?? maybe she could use some of the methods here that people are using to increase their pony tail circumferances ??
you can buy those real hair clip-ins on ebay for not too much money i have some and they are cool and easy to put in.
xx

Aero
March 13th, 2010, 12:29 PM
I ordered a long wig online last month for $34 :(

Tap Dancer
March 13th, 2010, 12:37 PM
I know it's been said, but I think it's very rude for her to even ask you to cut your hair. I know she's upset, but that doesn't give her the right to ask you for such a thing. Wigs aren't very expensive these days; I bet she can find a really cute one.

gmdiaz
March 13th, 2010, 12:43 PM
Let me think. . .*one second passes*. . .Not just no, but Oh Hell No!

End of story. lolol

VenusHalley
March 13th, 2010, 01:40 PM
Don't do it. It would be a total waste... one pony would not be able to make a good wig or weave...and if it did, it would look worse than those wigs and weave all the trashy celebs wear.


Nowadays you can get nice synthetic wigs for quite reasonable price... and they do look real-hair-like. Maybe they don't feel so, but how often to strangers touch someone's hair?

PineappleJello
March 13th, 2010, 02:33 PM
It takes so much hair to make a wig. The hair has to be a certain length, even if a person donates a good 14 inch ponytail the wig may still end up really short. You simply don't have enough hair to cover her head.

It is a tough position she has put you in, but it's hair suicide to go through with it. There was an excellent suggestion made to get donations.

Ursula
March 13th, 2010, 02:35 PM
I ordered a long wig online last month for $34 :(

That seems like a good price. What was the quality of the wig? And where did you get it? If it was a good wig, it would be a big help for the OP, to know a good source for an affordable wig for her friend.