I can never get past shoulder-length - help!

[Lilli]

I haven't had long hair in 7 years. The longest I got was 2 years ago, I got it to APL, and I still didn't like it and got it cut back to a bob. Dh requested that I grow it out again last summer, and I have been. It was a layered round bob, and now it is just above my shoulders (I had a 1/2 inch trimmed to get rid of the rough, razored ends.) The problem is, I hate this length, and I apparently didn't like APL, and that will be a year from now, so I am sort of wondering why I am growing it at all and suffering these awkward lengths when I won't even like it in a year?

[Dreams_in_Pink]

looks like you need some hardcore inspiration :) i recommend www.rapunzelsdelight.com :)

patience, patience, patience.

[Celtic_Willow]

I completely understand, I'm the same way with my hair! It can be so frustrating when growing it out and it's in an akward stage.. you usually end up in a vicious cycle of either wanting to grow it out or just chop it all off! All I could suggest is try to find a specific style you'd really like rather than a length! Hope that helps :)

[vidgrl007]

I was like you and had my hair cut in a short bob with the razored ends. All you can do is let it it grow with micro trims to cut off the razored part. I'm finally at bsl but I didn't think it would ever get past my shoulders.It will happen just try to get past the hard stages with some fun updos:cheese:.

[Arctic]

I feel you should only grow your hair for yourself, not for someone else.

[Lilli]

I think that's the problem... right now it is just a blunt bob, completely straight all the way around, with two short mouth-length tendrils that used to be bangs. I feel so nerdy and preppy. I have considered getting the angle cut back in (shorter in the back) so I don't feel so nerdy, but then I get paralyzed with "but then it will be an inch shorter in back and my hair grows so slowly."

What updos can I do? Even a ponytail is hard b/c the hair right above my ears doesn't always stay in the band.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

I have considered getting the angle cut back in (shorter in the back) so I don't feel so nerdy, but then I get paralyzed with "but then it will be an inch shorter in back and my hair grows so slowly."

I don't recommend that haircut. honestly :(

[Kimberlee]

Lilli, I feel your pain. I swear my stylist has been "tricking" me into these overly layered blunt cuts for the last year (that only looked good straightened - YUCK - I LOVE my waves). My hair hasn't grown at all and to top it off i'm growing my bangs out too.

BTW, I threw my straightener out and am now in the market for a new stylist! :D

Good luck!

[amaiaisabella]

The length just touching the shoulders was the hardest for me. Now that my hair is past my collarbone, I feel over the "hurdle" and closer to APL. So stick it out if you can, and I recommend half-ups for days when you feel your hair is blah. :)

[FrannyG]

First I want to ask, do you really want to grow your hair? Is this something you want or something you're doing for someone else?

I found that with every length of hair there was something cute I could do with it. Even when I had a lip length bob! Look around for some styling ideas. It's never too soon to try them. This will help the growing pains a lot, if and only if, it's you who wants to grow your hair.

[Babyfine]

I agree shoulder length can be annoying when you want long hair.
But each length has it's own advantages and disadvantages.
There were styles that I could do at SL that I can't do anymore.
One is a Tails'up, or a" peacock twist", where you twist the hair up and leave the ends sticking out. My hair is too long for that now.( and too fine)
And when my hair was shoulder length I could get better waves with diffusing than I can now, too. So it's a trade-off. Enjoy your hair at each length!

[frodolaughs]

What Franny said is very true. If you really want to grow your hair you'll have to find ways to get through awkward lengths. Unless you cut, no length other than terminal lasts forever, and you're years and years away from that. If you aren't really interested in longer hair you can always cut your hair into a style you like when you run into a length you find awkward, but then you will never get past that stage.

[spidermom]

There are a variety of things you can do with it: Pull sides or one side up and back with pretty barrettes or clips or crossed/decorated hair pins. Do little accent braids. Try various head-bands to hold hair back. Try pin curls.

But really - you're better off wearing your hair how you like it rather than how your husband likes it. If he likes long hair, he can grow his own.

[redneckprincess]

I would suggest microtrimming the ends to shape them some more to your liking...or leaving it alone, but too, if you like your hair short, then keep it short, its your hair after all, keep it how YOU like it!! ☺

[Lilli]

I just want to add, my dh is really nice, and he used to ask for the short bob. And today I whined all this to him (whining comes easy since I am 8 weeks pg and so nauseous and tired), and he told me to do whatever makes me happy. And now I feel better about not cutting it. My goal in deciding to grow it out was not all about dh - it was getting it long enough to make it look good without lots of heat styling. Though my bob is really cute, it does require that I fight against the natural wave in the back of my head, and the longer it gets, the straighter it will be. Thank you for all the suggestions. I am trying to concentrate on how getting that trim removed so much damage, and how I don't need to heat style it as much, and how I can (mostly) do a ponytail. It just takes so long, and I think my hair grows really slowly.

[redneckprincess]

I just want to add, my dh is really nice, and he used to ask for the short bob. And today I whined all this to him (whining comes easy since I am 8 weeks pg and so nauseous and tired), and he told me to do whatever makes me happy. And now I feel better about not cutting it. My goal in deciding to grow it out was not all about dh - it was getting it long enough to make it look good without lots of heat styling. Though my bob is really cute, it does require that I fight against the natural wave in the back of my head, and the longer it gets, the straighter it will be. Thank you for all the suggestions. I am trying to concentrate on how getting that trim removed so much damage, and how I don't need to heat style it as much, and how I can (mostly) do a ponytail. It just takes so long, and I think my hair grows really slowly.

just think 6 more months and not only will you have a great pony tail, you can begin your trials on buns and such

[prosperina]

You said your hair right makes you feel nerdy and preppy. I suggest finding something to wear--clothes, jewelry, makeup, hair accessories or other accessories that make you feel good: not preppy not nerdy. :D At this point it's just easier to forget about your hair if you can and concentrate on other things you like about your appearance. :flower:

[ArienEllariel]

I've been struggling with this my whole life. My hair used to break off at shoulder length because I didn't know how to care for it properly. It's getting much better now that I've joined LHC and starting CO among other things. I'm growing out old damage and semipermanent hair color at the moment. I know it will be years before all the faded color is gone and the damage is cut off but it will be worth it in the long run. :) Keep your eye on that horizon. You'll get where you want to be in time. I'm one of those LHCers that can't stand the idea of starting off from a bob again (since I've had short hair all my life) so I've elected to grow it in stages and do microtrims to cut off damage when my hair starts to bug me a lot.

[LaurelSpring]

If you want long hair you have to really really want it more than any style or cut. It took me years to get to that wanting. The only way to get it is to let it grow and that takes time and patience and many awkward phases. Do what you can with it to get through the awkward phases. Put it up when you can. Come to the site for inspiration. Honestly it just takes a really long time and staying away from the scissors for the most part. If you keep cutting it will always be short. But if that is what you want, then thats ok too! Maybe playing around with a wig or some extensions can help you get a feel of how long hair would be and if you would really love it or not. Or maybe getting a wig would make dh happy. :eyebrows:

[Ursula]

If you don't want the long hair, for yourself, then don't grow it, even if your husband likes it. You can get a wig or clip-on extensions to use occasionally, if you want to now and then have long hair for his amusement.

If you do want to grow, for yourself, at this stage headbands and barrettes are good tools, for holding your hair out of your face. The wide headbands at www.tznius.com are particularly good for holding back a lot of awkwardness, and can be adjusted to completely hide your hair if you want.

[MsBubbles]

Honestly, the only reason I got through and past the chin-shoulder-APL stage was sheer neglect because my highlighting, Mom-haircutting hairdresser (dear lady) got deathly ill and I didn't trust any of her co-workers with my hair! Plus I couldn't really afford to even go back to the salon at that stage. 8 months or so later my hair was below my shoulders on its way to APL. I found long-hair forums, looked at many ladies' lovely long hair and decided I'd give it one last shot before menopause.

I notice you have straight, fine hair too! It IS awkward at those lengths. i.e. long enough to hang even straighter, too short to have much 'heft' from being long. There are some beautiful heads of hair here in the 1/f/i/ii range.

But it's up to you in the end.

[georgia_peach]

I just want to add, my dh is really nice, and he used to ask for the short bob. And today I whined all this to him (whining comes easy since I am 8 weeks pg and so nauseous and tired), and he told me to do whatever makes me happy. And now I feel better about not cutting it.


This speaks volumes. You are 8 weeks pregnant, feeling crummy and DH telling you to do what will make you happy now makes you feel better about NOT cutting your hair.... Been there and I know the up and down emotions. If you THINK you might regret cutting your hair, decide that these feelings will pass and that you will give it a little longer before cutting. Pregnancy may really boost your hair growth. You will certainly start to feel better once the exhaustion and nausea subside. And you might just find that you get to a nice long length that you really enjoy. But if you are absolutely miserable and know that YOU don't want long hair, then certainly cut it to a style that makes you feel good. Good luck with everything!:)

[Demetrue]

Wow - if you make sure you take your prenatal vitamins, you could experience a whole lot of growth during pregnancy - I say keep growing now while it should be growing faster than your usual average growth. Use clips to hold back the long side bangs, or you could just cut the bangs shorter if you like.

[Yozhik]

As far as I understand from my friends and acquaintances who've had children, you'll probably be very exhausted and stressed out in the first few months and won't have a lot of time to think about or care about how your hair looks. In that case, you'd probably want an extremely low-maintenance haircut that you could just pull back and not worry about -- so maybe benign neglect is the way for you to go? Before you know it, it'll be longer! :)

On the other hand, if you feel like you'd have less to worry about with it cut, then think it over and go with what you decide is the right choice :flower:

[Leena7]

I also have had short hair for most of my life (APL or shorter), in fact, my hair has never been longer than APL. I had a pixie back in August of 2007, started growing that out at the end of 2007, got a new pixie in March of 2009 and started all over again. Currently, I am just below SL, finally. During all of the months of growing, I felt like I was making no progress, but I took pictures and now I can see that my hair has grown a lot in the last 10 or 11ish months. Be patient and try to ignore your hair. It will grow. If you don't like your current style, get bangs or something, but I do not recommend getting an angled bob. They look weird as they grow out. Resist the urge to do anything drastic to your hair. I try to stop myself from being impulsive by promising myself to wait at least so many months between haircuts and waiting several weeks before deciding to make a drastic change. Usually the feeling passes. If you want long hair, you can get it. All you need to do it wait it out. Also, if your hair is short and you are getting really frustrated and want to cut it all off one day, break down and use a blow dryer or a straightener. I know lots of people think they are evil because they can cause so much damage, but I think heat styling can help people wait through the awkward not-quite-shoulder-length stage. I also recommend stocking up on bobby pins, barrettes, headbands, etc. Good luck!

[countryhopper]

Have fun practicing new updos. treat yourself to cute hair toys that you can use now, or start a little fund to use to reward yourself when you get to a certain stage (shoulder length: new fork,etc)

It's very true that you have to enjoy each stage you are at in growing out your hair. I'm very much a creature of habit; I couuld easily stick my hair in a claw clip EVERY DAY and not think twice about it. But I'm trying to step outside my comfort zone and try new things. As a result, I'm developing a new hobby of growing and caring for my hair!

A great head of hair says a lot about a person!

[Ursula]

If you are interested in growing long, but don't like your hair the way it is now, you might want to cut to a blunt-cut, no layers.

There is a pattern some people get into, with trying to grow their hair long, not liking how it looks as it starts to grow out, then cutting back to a short, layered style. Then after a while start growing again, but not like how it looks growing out, etc. Sometimes what they don't like about growing-out is the way that layers look when they are growing out, which can be somewhat "shaggy" at a certain length. In that situation, trimming to a blunt cut, getting rid of the layers, can set them up to grow out their hair with less stress.

With a baby on the way, you may want to plan any cut so that you can at least get your hair into a short ponytail. Babies have a tendency to grab and chew on hair, and being able to put it up and back can save you some discomfort.

[chloeishere]

I really enjoyed pigtail stubs when I was at shorter lengths. They are actually the main style I miss from that hair length-- they were so cute and stubby!

That said, I look back and I can't believe how much my hair has grown, while it felt like it was doing nothing at all.

I'm taking from your last post that you are growing because YOU want to, not because your husband wants to. Put it up when you get tired of how it looks down-- it'll be long before you know it! A year will pass either way, it'll only get shorter if you give in and get it cut.

[Babyfine]

I think what Ursula suggested is a good suggestion-cutting to a one length blunt cut.
From personal experience-(as a finey) I have the hardest time growing layers out with my fine hair. My hair looks good with layers just cut in but once they've grown out even a little- it looks terrible. It just doesn't "hang" right. Keeping my hair mostly all one length helps.

[cardamom]

i too had shoulder length hair,dry and frizzy,refusing to grow.i got it relaxed last week when i realised it was double as long as it appeared to be.:D

it was only after seeing aroud 25 in of hair that i felt like growing them longer.personally,i wont recommend any chemical treatment,but am loving my hair now!!:)

[Robbi Dehlinger]

looks like you need some hardcore inspiration :) i recommend www.rapunzelsdelight.com :)

patience, patience, patience.

OMG! Samantha's hair is LOVELY!!:D