Honest opinions wanted- how much to cut??(Long and rambly you have been warned!)

[Kris Dove]

I'm feeling a bit crap about my hair atm, especially after hearing my mother going on about how I'd look so much better with a bob ("or even shoulder length, so it will still be long and then you could still wear it up!") because my fine hair looked a bit thin this long.

The ends are so straggly because they've been abused and neglected after my big chop when I cut my dyed ends off and got a pixie cut- I thought of my hair as being short until it got to nearly BSL and (cringe!) brushed out tangles, washed and blowdried it every day, before that sometimes just washing it with shower gel and not conditioning when it was really short, frequently straightened it and used tons of styling gel till it was long enough to pony, got highlights done 3 years ago... I also reckon I had a big shed after coming off the pill. No wonder the ends which were once short hair are so straggly now!

I've ordered some cassia and I'm hoping that will help add volume. I've just trimmed about an inch and a half of straggly ends off as it needed it, but I really don't want it any shorter- the original plan is, I wanted to grow it to waist then maintain it there for a while till it thickens up a bit at the hemline, then grow it to classic.

I'm beginning to think I should just maintain it at BSL for now, or even chop it to APL where it does look a bit thicker(I'm definitely not going any shorter than APL ever again though!) but I won't be doing that until nearer my wedding(hopefully late summer/early autumn this year).

Here's a recent pic-
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=3904&pictureid=63182 So, honest opinions, if you saw my hair would you think the ends looked awful or should I keep them for now? Sorry for the rambliness and thanks if you read this far!:o

[Nightshade]

Well, to my eyes anyway, your hair does NOT look think or straggly.

What do your hands tell you? Are the ends rough? Are they split?

Here's what I did and I think it'd work for you:

- determine how much your hair grows per month
- trim half that per month

The frequent trimmings will keep the ends feeling fresh and nice, and also you'll get to gain a (tiny) bit of length a month, but your hair will also be steadily improving as you go. I was able to grow out VERY damaged BSL hair to tailbone this way, and it steadily improved :)

If the long and patient route isn't for you, perhaps just let it grow and inch and cut back to BSL until the worst of the ends you don't like are gone?

[chaoticwaves]

I looked at your picture and do not think your hair or ends look scraggly at all. Quite the opposite actually. :blossom: But, if you are feeling bad about your hair's condition maybe some DT's or other pampering will help.

[little_cherry]

Honestly, you have really beautiful hair. If you really want to chop some of it off, I wouldn't do any more than say 5 inches or so..I guess that's below BSL?

The question is, what would make you happy? Follow your heart and go with that... <3

The cassia sounds like a good plan. After the trim, I'd do a catnip rinses since they're fantastic at sealing those ends and preventing the splitting.

I wish you all the best! Take care!

Honestly, I stopped listening to people telling me what to do when it's obvious I won't listen to them if I have my heart set on something :D

[xoxophelia]

Umm..your hair looks great don't trim it. I think your plan of growing and then maintaining is perfect. Your mom is probably just jealous... XD

[Kris Dove]

Well, to my eyes anyway, your hair does NOT look think or straggly.

What do your hands tell you? Are the ends rough? Are they split?

Here's what I did and I think it'd work for you:

- determine how much your hair grows per month
- trim half that per month

The frequent trimmings will keep the ends feeling fresh and nice, and also you'll get to gain a (tiny) bit of length a month, but your hair will also be steadily improving as you go. I was able to grow out VERY damaged BSL hair to tailbone this way, and it steadily improved :)

If the long and patient route isn't for you, perhaps just let it grow and inch and cut back to BSL until the worst of the ends you don't like are gone?That sounds like a good plan... I'd been leaving it longer between trims (2 months) so maybe half it's growth every month instead of every other month would be good. There are a few splits- being so fine it splits easily- but the ends feel quite soft.


I looked at your picture and do not think your hair or ends look scraggly at all. Quite the opposite actually. :blossom: But, if you are feeling bad about your hair's condition maybe some DT's or other pampering will help.Thanks :) I do DTs and oiling frequently, and I'm waiting for some cassia to arrive in the post.


Honestly, you have really beautiful hair. If you really want to chop some of it off, I wouldn't do any more than say 5 inches or so..I guess that's below BSL? 5 inches would be APL... I think you're looking at my signature photo from 1992, lol... I wish I still had that hair! It's currently about an inch longer than BSL, like my avatar.

The question is, what would make you happy? Follow your heart and go with that... <3 Growing it to waist then maintaining... for some reason I'd feel better about it oce it hits waist and I can just maintain knowing the volume will get there eventually. I'm just concerned it looks bad right now.

The cassia sounds like a good plan. After the trim, I'd do a catnip rinses since they're fantastic at sealing those ends and preventing the splitting. I do have some catnip in the house...for my cat! What worries me is he goes crazy for the stuff and I'll wake up to find him looking stoned and chewing on my braid, lol- can any cat owners reassure me?:p

I wish you all the best! Take care!

Honestly, I stopped listening to people telling me what to do when it's obvious I won't listen to them if I have my heart set on something :DI think it's just that time of month when I feel insecure and crap about myself in general, which is why it's getting to me!:rolleyes:

[halo_tightens]

I don't see any reason to cut either, unless it's simply what you want to do. Your hair looks smooth and pretty, not straggly, in that picture! :)

[Kris Dove]

Umm..your hair looks great don't trim it. I think your plan of growing and then maintaining is perfect. Your mom is probably just jealous... XD
LOL thanks. My mum used to have waist length(at least... I think it's been TB-classic when she was in her teens) hair herself but she's had a bob for about 30 years now!

[Dreams_in_Pink]

oh please, whatever you do, don't listen to your mom and chop it shoulder length. I mean, just DON'T. I'm at that length right now and it sucks so much it almost hurts.

[xoxophelia]

LOL thanks. My mum used to have waist length(at least... I think it's been TB-classic when she was in her teens) hair herself but she's had a bob for about 30 years now!

Yup than I think that settles it ;)

I love your hair. Unless you have some serious crunchies and splits I don't see any reason to not grow it.

I think some people think in your 20's you must become more "mature" and cut your hair to look neat and tidy. Well, I would rather be luxurious and sensual any day :D

[Dani]

I was clicking on the link, thinking I was going to see some thin, straggly ends or some version of that, but your length and ends look awesome! They look totally fine to me, and your length looks thick all the way to your ends, with a beautiful blunt hemline. If your ends do feel bad and you don't like them, I would second the advice Nightshade has about trimming half the monthly growth. That's what I do and it works great for me. :) Your hair is really beautiful!

[xoxophelia]

oh please, whatever you do, don't listen to your mom and chop it shoulder length. I mean, just DON'T. I'm at that length right now and it sucks so much it almost hurts.

OT: Oh and dreams in pink, your hair actually looks pretty similar to how mine does at that length. I know how hard it is to deal with the thickness and the "triangle" but your hair is just lovely right *now*. Half up half down always helped me. Can't wait to see what you hair looks like longer.

Cheers to growing long hair :hooched:

[maskedrose]

I honestly don't see a thing wrong with it and I'm very picky about hemlines. What would your dream wedding hair look like? You have the potential to grow between 3.5 and 4 inches. even if you just gradually trimmed off half your growth, it looks like you'd still be at waist for your wedding.

[spidermom]

Honestly, it looks smooth and sleek and beautiful. If it were my hair, I'd continue to grow it with small trims every 3-4 months. And of course, if I noticed a lot of splits and white dots, I'd trim more.

Volume is overrated. My hair gets bushy; I hate it (the bushiness, I mean, not my hair).

[FrannyG]

I am very honest when it comes to these things, and I will tell you that I think your hair looks lovely right now as it is.

Having a somewhat similar hair type, I would suggest tiny trims every few months. Your hair will still grow, but you'll have nice fresh ends to deal with and less likelihood of eventually needing a big chop.

Your hair looks lovely. :blossom:

[Fairlight63]

Your hair is beautiful! I wouldn't cut it any shorter if I was you. Maybe just trim off a little bit each month - I think that they call it "dusting" You wouldn't lose much in length but it would even up the ends & still keep growing longer for your wedding. There are so many beautiful long hairdo's that you can do for weddings.

[contradiction]

If I were you I would chop to APL.

[cmnt831]

Don't touch it. It looks so pretty as it is. :)

[QueenMadge]

I second the small trims of half your growth rate. It has helped me grow out tangly, snarly crunchy ends and I have actually been happy with my hair for the last couple of months which I thought would not happen until all the damaged bits had been cut off.

[Peter]

I didn't read your whole post, but I looked at the picture and it looks nice to me. I don't see any problem with your hair.

[BrightEyes]

Please don't cut it!! I love your hair. We have very similar hair types, and looking at your pictures inspires me to keep growing. I'm at shoulder length right now, and I dream of the day when my hair is your length.

I would echo the suggestion to do tiny trims to thicken up your hemline. But please, please, please don't cut.:cheese:

[restourceful]

I think it looks fine just like it is. :flower: I second those who say only trim if it needs it and only half your growth each trim, but only if it needs it. Don't lose all your hard work to this point when you are so much closer to your eventual goal. Hang in there and visit us often here at LHC for encouragement!

[aahavaa]

Your hair looks lovely and in good condition.I wouldnt touch it.

[Autumnberry]

It doesn't look damaged or thin to me. I will say that it is beautiful long hair, and if you like it, please don't cut it! I have had people give me these type of comments before (the "wouldn't a bob look nice on you?" comments), and it really comes down to what YOU want. A tiny trim is never a bad thing if you feel you need one. There is so much pressure from others on how to wear one's hair--isn't that just plain crazy? So many people that I know find it impossible to go beyond the shoulders before they need a cut that's "professional" or "hip" or whatever. You've already got beautiful hair, in my opinion. Enjoy it :).

[camirra555]

I think your hair looks great. Doesn't look like it's in need of a trim. You could always just give it lots of babying or if it really bugs you do a micro trim of no more than an inch.

[frodolaughs]

Your hair looks just fine to me. I wouldn't do any more than dusting, if I did anything at all.

[eyesofsummer]

I think some people think in your 20's you must become more "mature" and cut your hair to look neat and tidy. Well, I would rather be luxurious and sensual any day :D

:D I like this.

And I think your hair looks fine! Really, not thin at all.

[faeflame]

I agree with all the posters saying that your hair looks great. Please don't feel pressured into cutting it. Baby it, do the cassia and catnip for awhile maybe oil the ends then in a month or two (or three ;))see how you feel about the health of your hair.

[jasper]

I haven't read the rest of the thread, so I'm giving you my initial reaction to your initial post. You hair looks good. If you have damage, it doesn't show in that photo. I think it will look amazing in time if it looks this good now despite some non-gentle treatment.

[Fiferstone]

Another one saying do NOT under any circumstances chop to APL. I don't see the damage myself, the ends don't look scraggly to me at all. My concern is that you'll chop to APL because of the external pressure (person X says they don't like how my hair looks), you'll get discouraged over the length you sacrificed, and maybe decide to chuck the whole thing because you can't face re-growing length you'd already grown. If instead you want to maintain where you are and thicken the ends up more before proceeding to the next length goal, follow the "trim half the growth" method and the loss of length will not be perceptible. What you will perceive is the thickening/improvement in the ends that you are after. I pick health over length (because I think length looks best/is most pleasing on me when it's healthy). Hope that helps. As to your mom or whoever said "get a bob"? It's not her hair, she doesn't have to look at it in the mirror every day/decide what to do with it each and every morning. It's yours :blossom:.

[MsBubbles]

Oh boy do I understand where you're coming from :). And I don't see your straggly ends either. I complain about the same thing with my ends and people say the same thing to me about my photos :p. I love 'em for it, and have to concede they must mean it. Plus ditto on the highlights and length. I'm about where you are there too. How often do you wash your hair/ends? I think I am saving mine by being able to do scalp washes. I was washing the living daylights out of my ends before (to quote an old shampoo ad).

I'm also currently following Nightshade's trim-half-your-growth-every-month approach. When I have skipped even one month in the past thinking my ends didn't look 'that bad', they knotted, snarled and split with a vengeance.

[long hair lover]

Hi Chris Dove,
Every time I cut my hair, I am sorry afterward! I am never going to cut it again, just a tiny trim if at all. Your hair picture is very pretty, doesn't look stringy at all.
Good luck, Long Hair Lover

[Dientje]

I haven't read everything, so have any of the cat-owners already reassured you about using catnip? No? Well, I can :)

I have experienced that my cats don't even smell the catnip on my hair, and I have read in other threads that other cat-owners don't find their cats chewing on their braids either, so don't worry about that! And it is great for your hair (at least my hair is very happy when I do it regularly), gives it more strength.

Cassia could give you more volume, but you could also look into the herbal washes, with amla and shikakai, I've read that some people also have more volume if they use that.

Oh and I just wanted to say that I really think your hair looks great, nice blunt hemline and healthy ends. I can't detect any major damage going on. But if you know it is damaged, and it splits easily, you should follow Nightshades suggestion about cutting half a months growth per month. It works, I know from experience.

[Dark Rosaleen]

Your hair looks quite healthy as is, not at all like it needs to be cut. Just have a small trim in a few months if you feel it needs it. Right now it looks very pretty and smooth.

[Kris Dove]

Thanks everyone... I think I'll stick to frequent microtrims for now, and try borrowing some of Fudge's catnip next time I trim.

[Kris Dove]

I keep going from feeling as if my hair looks okay and the ends feel nice and soft, to thinking it's sad and thin looking at other times... this morning after making a sad little skinny braid, I was ready to get a huge(to me anyway!) 2-3 inches(4-6 + months' worth of growth!!) lopped off in order to feel better about my hair... then later on I brushed it and redone my braid and it looked a lot better, although it still needs a trim, but maybe just 1 inch or less... So I think I'll impose a waiting rule on it and wait till at least the next Morocco Method Lunar Calendar's Lengthen or Thicken dates before doing anything.

In other news, after almost a fortnight of debating it, I plucked up the courage to take my Lansaprazone(sp?) tablets for excess acid production which may cause hair loss as well as other nasties(my other main concern being that they may cause nausea and vomiting as well as making you more susceptible to tummy bugs due to having less acid to kill them properly, as I'm emetophobic)...

It says it's rare and only 1 in 1,000 to 10,000 people are affected but I reckon it might be more than that going unreported, after all most males might put hair loss down to male pattern baldness, women down to menopause, pregnancy, both down to use of chemical treatments etc, and thicker haired people may not even notice. So clearly it worries me... even if it's "only hair and will grow back"... I'm sure other LHCers will understand that's not fast enough for my liking! I've promised myself if that happens as a consolation I'll treat myself to the longest clip-in acrylic extensions I can afford for my wedding and have a hairdresser put them in so they look good(and possibly even better than the real thing).

Oh well, that's enough waffling about my hair for now... I'm beginning to feel a bit silly for thinking about it so much! :/

[lapushka]

Here's a recent pic-
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=3904&pictureid=63182 So, honest opinions, if you saw my hair would you think the ends looked awful or should I keep them for now? Sorry for the rambliness and thanks if you read this far!:o


Your hair looks great. Honest! I don't see awful ends, on the contrary!

[GlassEyes]

Looks fine to me. Ditto what Nightshade said, though. If they feel rough or terrible to you (some pictures can be misleading), maybe try setting up a small trimming schedule. But if they don't feel bad, they look great to me. :shrug:

[morguebabe]

I think your hair looks fine, theres nothing wrong with it.

[marzipanthecat]

Your hair looks rather lovely in that photo - it does not look straggly AT ALL to me. But then, it does entirely depend how it feels to you.

Personally, I wouldn't chop. But it is your choice, whatever you do!

Also, are you feeling extra unhappy with it because of what you are being told? Is that affecting you? I have days when my hair just gets on my nerves but it makes me feel a lot more positive about it when someone says something kind about it.

[Sweetness]

I really love your hair, beautiful ! (:

Honestly, I'd trim 0.5 - 1.5 cm maximum, just to have freshly trimmed ends. I find that sometimes it's all it takes to feel fresh and happy about our hair again (: I wouldn't cut more though, it's really beautiful

Then again, you are wearing it, so it does depend how it feels. That we can't know !

[LadyJennifer]

The picture's a little dark, but from what I can see your hair is lovely:) I second what everyone else said; baby it with cassia, catnip, dt, etc. It is definitely not too damaged to grow out longer! Do what you want, not what anyone else wants for you. Mom's can be harsh any offensive sometimes.... (at least my mom can)

[redeyedtreefr0g]

I don't think a picture does complete justice to the way hair feels or looks. However, the picture does lead me to believe your mother is mistaken in her opinion.

I also know that one small, or even a large trim, can make a huge difference. Even if you don't get all of the troublesome ends, you're action (as opposed to doing nothing and being mad about it) will help your feelings toward your hair, and the bit you do take does make a difference in manageability and look.

That length of hair was also particularly hateful in my case. I cut my hair back to about bra strap level, maybe even as short as just past my shoulders, when my sister managed to keep getting lice for a year and a half. I hated it. I wished I'd never cut it and just moved out instead, you know. So, since I'd ruined my hair anyway in my eyes, I went to the extreme and in 2004 my hair was about an inch long. Growing back out, that length again was hateful. I got through it by changing my color for the first time in my life. Somewhere around 2007 I ran into a phase where I hated it again, it was always tangling. So I got a trim- and that's where I realized how much of a change that little bit can make.

So I guess that's the long way of just saying- do what you need to to be happy, but definitely do something. Even something small like a trim, or the scheduled trimmings to still allow the growth you want over a longer time- is worth it. Sounded like a really good idea actually, if you can be that patient, since it would be gradually also getting the ends thicker like you want.

[ericthegreat]

Kris Dove, your hair is beautiful in that photo! The self-trim that you gave yourself is already very good, I wouldn't go any shorter if I were you. Your ends are clearly blunt and cut across, they are not thin and split at all. If you want, perhaps style your hair curly once in a while with a curling iron (once in a very long while wouldn't be that damaging) or do rag curls so it will look thicker and fuller. If it helps at all, I envy your color. Your shade of blond is so gorgeous and shiny!

[Airisuu]

I really have to agree with most everyone else so far! I tend to be super critical of hemlines but yours is lovely and most definitely NOT scraggly. Shame on your mother for making you self-conscious about your lovely hair. :/ (As if there aren't enough other things to worry about and obsess over these days!)

[sally_neuf]

I was clicking on the link, thinking I was going to see some thin, straggly ends or some version of that
hahaha I second this totally!!! I was scrolling down the pic thinking "mmmju.. lets see this shudder:"
But instead, there were these beautifull ends, NOT thin at all, with a nice shaped hemline, that doesn't flip in weird ways and that looks great!

[Messyhair]

Your ends look lovely and moisturized to me. Certainly not the scraggly ends I was expecting!!

[ArienEllariel]

I was picturing yucky hair and when I saw your picture I had to smile because it's anything but! Your hair looks really nice and unless the ends feel really bad and are split, I don't see the need to trim.

[little_acorn]

I think your hair looks great and you don't need to cut it at all.