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Chamy
January 25th, 2010, 03:41 PM
My best friends hair is bleached, really heavy layered and soo abused in general. She often asks me to help her bleach it, and as her friend i cant say no, but every time i do i see the condition of her hair is worse than before. I try to give her tips but she is one to trust the commercials, and you never see coconut oil on tv right!?
She brushes her hair in a quite agressive way, wet and dry with a BBB(:confused: thats crazy), and i have tried to get her to use a comb, but she wont listen.
When i bleach her hair i also cut it, and i do some s&d, and her hair is fine for a while, and i have said that maybe she can do it by herself sometimes, when she is watching a movie or something, that it might help with the tangles(they are like an army).
AND here is the big thing, last time i bleached her hair i saw that it was thinning, like a few bald spots. What should i do, i want to help her but i dont want to hurt her feelings. Do you have any advice for me?

manderly
January 25th, 2010, 03:47 PM
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. :flower: You can't change her, she has to come to you looking for real advice. :shrug:

Just like we don't like being told what to do, nor do our friends.

The best I can tell you is to grow your hair long and healthy, and let her see the fruits of your labor. She'll either continue treating her hair as she does because SHE likes it, which is all that matters, or she will want to grow hers out like you and come asking for real advice, at which point you should invite her to join LHC :)

Chamy
January 25th, 2010, 03:55 PM
That is true, thank you! I know that she must be the one to ask me for advice, i just feel like a bad friend standing by and watching while she wrecks her hair. :rolleyes:

bumblebums
January 25th, 2010, 03:58 PM
I wouldn't push advice on her, but you also don't have to help her destroy it. The next time she asks you to help her bleach it, I would say no and explain why.

Chamy
January 25th, 2010, 03:59 PM
The best I can tell you is to grow your hair long and healthy, and let her see the fruits of your labor.

Oh, and i promise you that i will do that ;)

Roseate
January 25th, 2010, 04:18 PM
If you want to keep helping her bleach her hair, maybe you could talk her into letting you do a pre-treatment with coconut or argan oil? Ktani has a long thread about this kind of treatment, apparently it really does help protect the hair.

Here's the link. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=10495) Click on the "reports" links in the first post to see people's results.

I agree, though, that you won't be able to change her mind about hair care in general. For lots of people color and style are more important than length and health; they just have different goals than we do. But maybe you can sneak a little oil in there and give her a hand anyway!

Chamy
January 25th, 2010, 04:24 PM
If you want to keep helping her bleach her hair, maybe you could talk her into letting you do a pre-treatment with coconut or argan oil? Ktani has a long thread about this kind of treatment, apparently it really does help protect the hair.

Here's the link. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=10495) Click on the "reports" links in the first post to see people's results.

But maybe you can sneak a little oil in there and give her a hand anyway!

That is a great idea, i have heard about those, but since i dont colour i havent researched it, i will now though. And if it sounds good im going to recommend it for her. Thank you so much! :D

SunshineHair
January 25th, 2010, 04:28 PM
If you feel that hurting her hair bothers you, then kindly pull back and just give a simple why...

I wouldnt do it, if she is going to destroy her hair then let someone else do it! And like another poster mentioned, let her see what hard work and proper care can do to hair, like yours :)

Cute Bunny!!!!

Carolyn
January 25th, 2010, 04:55 PM
I don't think it would hurt to gently mention the bald spots. That could possibly open up a dialog and you could make a suggestion or two on what she could do to have healthier hair. She has to know that bald spots aren't healthy. I wouldn't push it too much. Don't overwhelm her with your LHC knowledge :D I'm sure she can find plenty of salons to give her the color she wants.

Chamy
January 26th, 2010, 07:47 AM
Thank you for all the answers. I will probably say no the next time she asks me if i can help her bleach her hair, and explain why. And i will show her to TLHC, and to you nice lot :) hopefully she can find what she needs here without me giving her advice she hasnt asked for :S

SHELIAANN1969
January 26th, 2010, 08:15 AM
I would definately mention the bald spots, that is going to be a shocker when they get worse.

There is nothing you can do to force her to listen, if you can, I would take pics of the bald areas and show her.

Chamy
January 26th, 2010, 08:26 AM
I would definately mention the bald spots, that is going to be a shocker when they get worse.

There is nothing you can do to force her to listen, if you can, I would take pics of the bald areas and show her.

I just cant seem to grasp the fact that she has never noticed them. And im so afraid that she will be hurt when she hears it. :(

SHELIAANN1969
January 26th, 2010, 08:51 AM
I just cant seem to grasp the fact that she has never noticed them. And im so afraid that she will be hurt when she hears it. :(


Better to be a bit hurt and find out now, then to be devestated when she is half bald.

Chamy
January 26th, 2010, 09:05 AM
Better to be a bit hurt and find out now, then to be devestated when she is half bald.

I know, you are right.
Thank you for the advice!:)

Upside Down
January 26th, 2010, 09:12 AM
I'd defintely mention the bald spots if I were you, but that is all. Think about it, if you had bald spots (god forbid!) and your friend saw them, you'd like to know about it!

But if people do not want advice or help, do not force it upon them, that is how I treat others, and how I like to be treated.