View Full Version : What to do with little boy's hair?

January 18th, 2010, 02:36 AM
My little guy is 2.5 and I've been letting it grow, except for the front which I trim a little so he can see out. It's very very fine, strawberry blonde, and has the most beautiful curls at the ends. The main reason I never cut it is because I love the curls. :inlove: And I know once I cut them off they won't come back. My little brother had the same hair and after that first cut it was stick straight.

EVERY single time we go out in public at least one person tells me what a pretty little girl I have, or comments on "her" beautiful hair. Nevermind that he is dressed like a boy and just told you his name is Luke. :cool: Anyway... My mother-in-law wants me to cut it, my father-in-law says I darned well better NOT cut it, and my husband says its up to me. I've just been ignoring everyone up to this point.

But in the last few weeks its been getting long enough to pull out much of the curl and then it looks really long (Stretched, its below APL) but without the curl I love. It's starting to tangle more (which he hates me trying to fix), and conditioner seems to straighten it even more. And tonight when I was cutting DH's hair DS says "Cut my hair now!" I know he's too young to really have an opinion on it, but lately I'm just kinda up in the air on it anyway. :shrug:

I put a progression of pics in an album here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=4713) if you want to take a look. What would you do? I have pretty much zero experirnce with curls until now (I've always been 1a), so suggestions are welcome.

Thanks! :)

January 18th, 2010, 02:57 AM
I'm not sure but his hair looks gorgeous and silky, I love the curls in the last picture! :)

January 18th, 2010, 03:33 AM
I think I am going to be in a very similar position to yours fairly soon. My DS is 13 months and is rapidly growing feathery curly hair on the back and side of his head, but straight bangs. For now they are still 'on his head', but once it gets longer the cutting dilemma will start, I suppose ... :(
If his sister's hair (she's a few months older than your boy) is anything to go by he's going to have boing-boing curls which are just so cute. But I think I'd also get annoyed if people immediately start assuming he's a girl. Even though he so obviously is not.

Your boy is also definitely a boy (at least from the pictures in your album). Some people are just so terrified of getting it wrong they look for stereotypical features to help them out ... "long" hair being one that apparently points to girl more than clothing and looks ...

I don't really have much advice, do I ... One thing I would say is don't listen to anyone but yourself, your DH and possibly DS himself. If he really persists in claiming he wants his hair cut I think I would do it. You could always try and trim it a little as a first try. I don't know if this is true but may a little trim here and there might encourage those curls to come back again (taking a little of the weight off).

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

January 18th, 2010, 03:36 AM
How about a haircut like this kid?


January 18th, 2010, 04:38 AM
Why not cut his hair? He asked for it :)

Maybe not cutting it all off, but cutting it back to shoulder length, a time when his curl came out more and it tangled less. He'd still have his pretty hair but it would be less awkward. Maybe he would even be mistaken for a girl less?

ETA: Reread your OP and saw about the curls not coming back. Well, unfortunately you lose some small part of them along every stage of growing up. You've prolonged enjoyment of those curls as best you can, but by your own admission they are straightening out and fading away on their own, with or without your help.

You have lots of photos to remember and cherish his curls. Trim and keep a lock, and then give him a nice little trim. :)

January 18th, 2010, 06:37 AM
I don't think he's too young to have an opinion. When he said he wanted to have his hair cut, that might have been impulsive because he saw you cut his dad's hair, but it might not have been. I'd ask him if he wants his hair to be long or short... if he still wants it to be short, then I'd cut it. :shrug:

January 18th, 2010, 06:44 AM
Well, personally I don't think that he looks like a girl, but at taht age, boys and girls look similar, I wouldn't worry about it.

If someone says you have a cute little girls, say Oh thanks, his name is Luke! :D

I think that YOU should do what you want and not worry about people thinking he is a girl, it's really not their business anyways. ;)

January 18th, 2010, 07:06 AM
I have a little brother with TB length hair (hair envy!), who turned 10 this September. When he was 3-4 years old (I don't really remember) he told us, that he wanted his hair to grow to his feet. At first my mom tried to talk him out of it, but at lest she just let him. He is constantly mistaken for being a girl, but he is used to it. It probably won't ever get to his feet, as our family's hair genes aren't particulary fantastic, but it looks great. I'm sure people won't mistake his gender when he gets a little older. I have many male friends with long hair too, but no one ever mistakes them for being girls.

I think it's important to ask your DS if he wants long or short hair. In the end, it's his hair. I would try to encourage him to grow it, though - it looks so cute!

January 18th, 2010, 07:22 AM
I had a similar problem with DS (4), but I finally decided to cut it sometime between his first and second birthday when he started falling down a lot and we realized it was because of his lack of vision :o.

Fact was, I thought his hair looked cute, but he did not like being combed, and he couldn't have cared less about the length himself. First time we went to the hairdresser and I saved one of DS's baby locks as a keepsake.

DH and I both have long hair, and when DS decides for himself that he wants his hair long, we will respect that wish and help him grow it out. Right now he asks me to cut it every few weeks, and that's fine as well. In fact, we both have a lot of fun during our haircut sessions, and I am glad to have the opportunity of learning about the mystery of short hair cuts.

I'd just suggest going with what works best for both of you.

January 18th, 2010, 07:23 AM
My stepson had the curliest hair when he was a child! His father, my DH, let a "rat tail" (in vogue at the time) grow to about a foot long. Unfortunately, no one much got to see it because it was so curly it sprang right up to the nape of his neck and joined all the other curls. His grandmother cut it off without asking, which made my DH quite angry. My stepson is now 25 and has had VERY thick, coarse hair since he was about 7 or 8. You couldn't even see his scalp through it for the longest time. Now, however, the family male- pattern-baldness is beginning to affect him.

I concur with most here who say you don't have to listen to anyone else, it is completely your decision to make with your son and your DH. And if you do decide to shear, save some of those sweet baby curls to look at and remember.

January 18th, 2010, 07:26 AM
2.5 Is no way too young to have an opinion. :p
To be fair if he did ask to get his hair cut, then mabye you should cut his hair - even if its just a little bit.
As Thinthondiel said though... It could be an impulsive request.

January 18th, 2010, 04:14 PM
I guess I didn't really mean that 2.5 is too young to have an opinion, since at that age they are kinda all about opinions. But not necessarily consistent ones. When I have tried asking him before it goes like,
"Do you like your hair the way it is?"
"Do you want it shorter like dad's?"
"Yeah, like dad."
"Do you want it to stay like it is now?"
"Do you want it long or short?"
I will try talking to him about it some more, but it just tends to go nowhere. And I really think his asking last night was just to get in on whatever was going on, the same way that he asks me to take pictures of the back of his head whenever he sees me trying to take a picture of my own hair.

I know it doesn't really matter if strangers call him a girl, or what anyone else says. It just gets old and sometimes makes me wonder if its really worth it or when it will start to make him self-conscious.

I really don't think he looks like a girl either. But it is starting to get kinda funny shaped and weird. I'm just torn I guess.

If we do cut it I will probably do a shaggy sort of thing. I would dearly love it if I turned out to be wrong about the curl staying. I'll let you know what we end up doing.

January 19th, 2010, 09:15 AM
His hair looks a lot like my daughters in that it appears to be growing in straight with the just the baby hair on the ends curling. I finally had to cut my daughter's hair this past Saturday and was positive that we would lose the curls. I was really overjoyed to see that even at a shorter length the curls sprang back up! Where the curls seemed below collar before with all the rest straight, they now start at nape.

I don't have any advice really other than that without the weight the curls may creep up to a higher level than they are now. I can tell you that getting ready this morning was wonderful as we just combed through and went, as opposed to crying and undoing snarls and I don't regret losing those 6 inches at all. My son is 5 and has longish hair. I have pics of both of them and you are welcome to friend me to see the album if you want.

January 19th, 2010, 10:00 AM
A friend of mine has her little boy's hair longer, and she does really cool low, leather-wrapped ponytails and Legolas-type braids. I'm sure people do mistake him for a girl, but who cares? If toddlers aren't gender neutral, I don't know what!

January 19th, 2010, 10:01 AM
Let him do what he wants. He has a long life ahead of him to grow it back out if he changes his mind.

January 19th, 2010, 11:02 AM
Honestly, I would fall into the "Oh, what a cute little girl!" group if I hadn't first read that he's a boy. :o At this point it's really up to you and your DH, but since you said it's getting tangly and the curls are straightening, I would vote for cutting it. My little nephews both have had shaggy, skater-type hairstyles since their first cuts and it's always looked adorable (and boyish) while still being on the longer side.

February 7th, 2010, 11:43 AM
He kept asking me to cut it, and it really did seem to be getting on his nerves, so I finally cut it last night. *sniff* It came out shorter than I wanted, but he likes it. I'm sure I'll like it better once it gets a little longer, and once I get used to it.

Pics are in my album. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=4713)

February 7th, 2010, 12:21 PM
It's a cute haircut and very flattering for him. He looks happy. My son's had longer hair when they were little. I remember when I would go out with my daughter when she was a baby (a complete baldy as an infant) and my son who had collar bone length curls, people would remark at what a lovely baby boy I had as my daughter would be wearing my son's hand me down stretchies, and ask my son how it was to be a big sister!

They are all grown and have short hair now. My youngest had APL hair in high school and periodically lets it grow, along with and on again off again beard. Well, that's except for my daughter who has beautiful long thick curls. That little baldie ended up having the thickest and curilest hair of all of them

February 7th, 2010, 12:23 PM
Don't they look so grown up when they get a hair cut? Don't worry - I have 3 sons and their hair lengths have run the gamut from buzz cut (Not my idea, but he was 18 and an adult, so his decision) to shoulder length. When my boys were younger, I would cut it shorter in the summer and then let it grow out longer as the year progressed. My boys were known at school by their long "Beatles" hair cuts, but they always received compliments on their hair, no negative comments. I have always cut their hair myself and try to do exactly what they want. Sometimes we will go through pictures of hair styles so they can show me what they would like. This is one area where I try to respect their desires since there are so many other areas in life where I have to put my foot down. You'd be surprised how quickly hair grows back on kids.

February 7th, 2010, 01:29 PM
Every kid is different with how self conscious they are, and you already cut his hair, so this is kind of a moot point but I'd thought I'd put it out there.

When I was little, I had very short hair most of the time. I was often mistaken for a boy (despite my penchant for pink shirts). I remember one of these times vividly because a guy told my mom she had a very athletic son. I thought it was hilarious. It was like I was some kind of undercover agent that could pass as either at will.

February 8th, 2010, 09:58 AM
here in Germany I see many, many little boys with long hair. It is often hard to tell a little kid's gender because people do not believe so strongly in color coding (thank goodness!) - our baby kitty got socks with construction machines on them for Xmas, in dark blue and white! (We do dress her in a lot of blue anyway, looks good on her).

DH had long hair until he was 8 or so - he was bald for so long that his mother could not bear to cut his pretty ringlets when they did come in. Most boys back then in the 70s had long hair, at least here and in California where I am from.

Like long hair on men there is some challenging to gender stereotypes going on, and I think peoples' minds are slowly opening. It is up for you to decide how much you are willing to put up with...

February 8th, 2010, 10:07 AM
Your little boy is so adorable! My 18 month old boy also has cute curls, and it was getting pretty long (when stretched it was almost APL). My hubby kept asking me to cut it, so I gave in. He looked like a little boy instead of a baby. It was cute, but I was still sad. I miss his curls!

February 8th, 2010, 08:51 PM
Thanks everybody. It's growing on me. But, yes, he looks SO much older! He's very tall for his age anyway, and now he practically looks like a kindergartener. :bigeyes:

February 9th, 2010, 12:11 AM
I like his little hair cut- I think it looks cute!

My biggest concern as I read through this thread was not gender issues, but actually it tangling and him not being too happy with mama combing tangles out. My niece had curly hair that turned straight and her hair tangled so bad at that age. She was a BEAST to deal with when it came to combing those tangles out. My sister could barely get her hair combed. So maybe if he decides he wants it longer again, this cut will get him through that awful tangling phase to save him a lot of tears and mama a lot of frustration.

February 9th, 2010, 12:45 AM
I can't tell you what to do with his hair but just wanted to say he's so cute ! And his little curls are beautiful. :)

If people think he's a girl, just introduce him as your son. 2.5 is too young to know whether or not you want short hair for the long term I think. Kids may wish for a cut and then regret it.

February 9th, 2010, 05:50 AM
Hmm... In all my selfishness I wouldn't cut it because it looks so beautyfull!

Maybe you can wait it out. From experience, I advise you not to fret him a lot trough his life about long hair, because he might end up getting tired of it.

I would wait untill he really insisted in getting it cut. I don't think he looks like a girl at all either. You have to remember it's your son and he's under your care now. Dealing with long hair at school can also be an issue but then again, it depends on the school and on the little boys he gets to meet.
I love long hair on little boys, you just have to make sure it doesn't get in the way they grow up :flower: I had a tough childhood, and I didn't have long hair. I wish I had tough :rolleyes:

Good luck with that! I wouldn't cut it. :flower:

Edit: Duh! I just realized you already cut it! It looks very good! You know, he's still very young. He will probably get in a stage when he's gonna be curious on letting it grow. You have a beautyfull child anyway :flower:

February 9th, 2010, 06:26 AM
I LOVE that picture of him with his new haircut looking to the side. It is like he is thinking, "What is going on with my hair?" He is SO adorable. He does look a lot older with the haircut, that always happened with my son too. I would cut it and then look at him and think, "When did you turn into a little man?"

February 9th, 2010, 12:12 PM
Thanks. If it had been just the gender thing, I wouldn't have cut it. And if it had been just up to how mama liked it, I wouldn't have cut it. But it was really beginning to frustrate him when he was playing and it was in his way, and he really hated having to sit while I detangled it. I just didn't want it to become a negative thing, and I want him to be comfortable and able to have fun. He tells me now "I not like it big. I like it short!" And, hey, I think he's cute no matter what! :D